Kallmekris Top TikTok's Compilation! | 2021

[Music] for anyone new let's go through them first off we got janet hey i need the one and then we have our daughter riley hey oh and riley has an uncle named chad a solo bid janet has a husband named roger and a russian best friend named katrina thank you janet and katrina has two twin boys named misha and sergey hello hello janet also has a mother who we call nona are we getting paid to do this and katrina has a mother named ingrid aka babushka who only speaks russian janet and katrina also have a southern friend named carol oh it's so nice to meet you carol has two boys named buddy in texas that's right you got it carol also recently adopted diamond hi there diamond's original mother courtney where's my tumbler is now dead because katrina killed her allegedly and then we have my nosey neighbor deborah she said it again tom twelve-year-old twilight version of me my mom i made her the mommy toddler daycare lady amy hi everybody my dog and a couple newer characters including aussie bartender i ain't gone and karen and her son hunter can i speak to your manager [Music] let's move misha sergey what is the meaning of this ridiculous high-pitched scream i see no blood your stupid reckless little boys just hit my angel hunter in the face with a snowball and your name is karen ah misha sergey you have exactly one opportunity to tell me what happened to hunter simple sergey and i had constructed bunkers on either side of field and we blew airhorn as to warn other children that this was now hotspot an epic snow battle was about to commence in heat of snowball battle with sergey and i hunter snuck past our barriers and simply got hit by crossfire simple explanation your child is incompetent you little monsters so you're just raising future criminals i think only crime here is naming your son hunter should be pylon or sitting duck you know what what are you going to do karen there's no managers out here hey did you do your chores probably not oh yeah i actually did i'm in check okay there's no way she cleaned her room holy [ __ ] okay i bet she didn't do the laundry though oh okay there's no way she did the bathroom got you now the toilet is sparkling what the hell is this [ __ ] got her on this one she dusted the lights okay there's no way she even used a swiffer you think i'm stupid don't you what no you think i believe this little sting operation you have going on over here nah there's no sting operation what are you talking about nah you're trying to cover something else up with all this [ __ ] what nah you're grounded what hi is everybody ready for class okay okay well today we're doing addition and question one is for riley riley what is three plus three 33 uh no so three uh-huh plus three glasses uh no okay we'll come back to you okay uh misha question two is six plus twelve wait how did you question three what is twelve plus twelve a what it is twenty-four how do you guys know the questions already you should really look into getting better firewall doc getting into your computer this morning was piece of pie what you guys didn't see anything else though right no just lesson plans okay in an open web browser to sugarbaby.com okay and we're done class dismissed hey everybody welcome back to class i have your test results and and riley we're gonna start with you okay unfortunately you failed what oh how is this possible well for question one for example eight plus eight you put two olafs yeah cause there's two snowmen it's still wrong i how dare you riley is absolute prodigy you are just too small-minded to appreciate her genius now it is not her fault she has beautiful mind and face that you cannot understand okay what she is absolutely beautiful inside the mouth you will pass her now i can't do that you will because she is like sister to us that she is like very important to me i can't just pass i have hecked into your computer and filmed tinder i'm missing you back big d69 stop okay you passed riley okay thank you riley can you go grab the shredded cereal okay [Music] no please no when you eat sugar you turn into a cracked out sugar high spawn of satan go get the shreddies but this readies taste like sticks then i guess you're gonna eat sticks all right let's go check out all right help me put stuff up good day wait what was that uh frosted flakes riley she made me sticks at home what no i just put the frosted flakes in please thank you [Music] i'm going first nope [ __ ] stop get out nope hey no no hey put my clothes back put put my clothes don't eat it dude no thanks for watching the kids in grid okay riley what would you like to do let's play for 10 nights and i should be the princess you are my princess what what did you say nothing oh we could play truth or dare okay okay since you're first out of womb you go first misha okay riley truth or dare truth do you have any crush on anybody in this room uh why's that that is jezebel an ancient family heirloom that you cannot touch or else it will possess and hunt anyone near i'm gonna touch him no they really don't [Applause] hey mom yeah uh do you think i could go to this uh this party a party uh good luck with that yeah there's no way she's gonna let him go yeah i don't see why not oh seriously wait what the [ __ ] are you kidding me calm down okay you never let us go to parties at his age yeah we had no social life outside of school and sports yeah well i i'm 22 and i still can't go anywhere without you interrogating me yeah while i change my mind okay have fun thanks mom this family is horseshit due to your online teacher putting in many complaints about you guys she is now taking leave of absence and i will be her replacement any questions my day i have a gesture go ahead riley there is no such thing as stupid question are you in love stupid question misha i am you are what in love i don't care we're supposed to be learning spelling right now spelling s p s-p-e-l-l-i-n-g not the word spelling sergey well then i will spell this rightly i l o v e y o u wizard incorrect it spills i love enough now i know i have a teacher left but you're with katrina now so s-h-u-t-u-p did it unicorn riley yeah spring time is over no put it back on no you're done but i just want to see the ending this isn't an m night shyamalan movie there's no alternate ending a twist okay you've seen it a hundred times please spoiler alert everybody lives immoral astoria's men and [ __ ] please go to your room until supper's ready i'm just gonna run away i can't take you pete i don't bad for you i hate it here [Music] riley dinner's ready what is it dino nuggies damn it all right have fun at chats kids goodbye little ones okay bye bye mom goodbye see you guys y'all i just had one quiet so where are we going what is this new bottom town great i could use the drink this place is nice they have drinks on special [Music] great janet huh is that drink on special really him shut up let's get a drink hey yeah two vodka crans no crap yeah all right come on right up so you're from down under yeah you know what they say about dean ender that you are below average katrina sorry did you underperform where are you from mother russia funny accent i couldn't pick that up probably because your iq is down under katrina mom guess what got another bottle of wine no i watched the tooth that's great honey you gotta remember to put tooth under the pillow and then get a dollar from the tooth fairy will we yeah buddy he wasn't me officer mom what but you fairy didn't take my two for give me a dollar the oh [ __ ] maybe he forgot he forgot me no no actually i remember he called me last night and just said he was really busy he's too busy for me no oh look he just texted me and he said and they said you could give me your tooth and i'll give you a dollar on his behalf okay okay okay and the weight fee lately what are you the irs take a five get out of here okay thank you you think chris moving would stop me from putting her in the loony bin no i'm a housewife with no hobbies okay i live for this as soon as i saw her packing i grabbed my to-go bag and hopped in her trunk and i'm off house arrest now so not even the law man can stop me and my husband tom thinks i'm at a girls trip but really i'm doing recon on chris deborah doesn't have any girlfriends i know exactly where she is i followed her and now i'm just watching her from a distance to make sure she doesn't do anything stupid so chris's house is over there and i thought i would camp here to remain in stealth mode to collect recon what was that deborah oh uh oh my old neighbor yeah she was a little nosy but i mean she's pretty harmless so i'm not really worried about it excuse me deborah and i'm disc what the hell cut the camera scoot over you drink some of this while i was gone no who's that it's an illness she's coming to babysit you come in oh my god i said come in oh my hearing's not what it used to be it's fine you're wearing pajama pants ma no one oh i knew that did you go to the doctor's like i told you to i did i don't remember what he said but he's very handsome you're married ma i know but now that your husband's out of the picture i was just thinking that you and doctor stooly could get there stop hey hello my little ravioli what's new i drink some of mom's spicy juice spicy you drank the last of my wine that'll put hair in your chest oh that's fine we used to put whiskey in your mouth when you were teething to help you stop crying that explains so much excuse me mother misha you're supposed to be tutoring chess what are you doing he can wait oh misha what is it i think i am in love really da all right so tell me would you fight bearing woods for her duh take bullet for her duh would you snap your fingers with infinity stones knowing full world will die oh bob would you let darth vader strike you down so she could escape the death star would you let her float on door in the middle of the ocean will she hold your hand while you're freezing to death in the ocean knowing full well there is room on the door there is room how are these old movies answer the question ah you are in love okay and are you okay there mother though i've just been watching a lot of upsetting american cinema lately i'm gonna pass the phone to somebody who's everybody's unofficial favorite i'm gonna pass the phone to somebody who's never tested a woman before i'm gonna pass the phone to somebody who could take a bear in a fight but can't talk about her feelings i'm going to paste the phone to somebody that takes all innocent but has many dark unfathomable secrets thank you i'm gonna pass the phone to somebody who's 100 an alcoholic and absolutely needs an intervention i already did i'm going to pass the phone to somebody we're all terrified of i started i got that mama i'm going to pass the phone to somebody that probably should be in the mental institution i'm gonna pass the phone to somebody who has absolutely no filter i got a colonoscopy today what oh oh okay i'm gonna pass the phone to somebody who carries this entire operation i'm gonna pass the phone to somebody i think has a crush on me i'm going to pass the phone to somebody that has a crush on riley i'm going to pass the phone to somebody who has no friends so she needs to create them oh fun what are we doing guys hey what you got there it's chocolate bar oh nice pass me one there's none left then split it no mom dude what there's only one more chocolate bar left and she needs to split it with me i haven't even had one yet split it with her okay oh my god would you hurry up i'm done thank you here thanks for watching riley ma yeah no problem but you better pay me good because five o'clock on wednesdays is usually when me and your father spice it up on the bedroom i don't need to hear that much i'm joking thank god about paying me you don't need to pay me okay i'm out of here you going out dressed like that yes is that a problem no just don't be surprised if somebody tries to give you money while you're walking on the street okay goodbye mom hello my little ravioli how you doing i think i'm stuck in a love triangle oh you're just like yolona i had all the guys fighting after me what's the problem i like a boy but his brother likes me oh my god it's like a telenovela tell me more i don't know what to do listen my little noki you don't need a man but if you want a man you need to make the first move because they're all idiots birthday okay repeat back what i just said make the first move and does all men are idiots and this today is known as life lesson hey i'm going to play basketball outside you want to play um yeah okay hey i kind of wanted to go to the lake do you want to go i got stuff i got to do cool hey i just got some money for mom's purse you want to go to 7-eleven with me no i'm going out with friends okay uh can i come no fine do you want to hang out with me [Music] no what are you doing here so early it's 2pm oh [ __ ] really still what are you doing here with the spawn of satan hi there oh i thought it'd be fun if riley and diamond had a play date you know what else is fun carol cliff diving off mount everest there's no water on mount everest that's the point whatever come in diamond okay have fun riley's in the bedroom i'm going back to bed don't bug me fine whatever i'm here oh hi diamond so what do you do for fun i'm building the death star with wiggles right now wayne was frozen super wayne i like a boy you need a makeover i don't feel like i need shut up give me your hands okay okay all done you guys want some virgin mimosas oh my god my mom you don't think people talk about us enough already you got to make my daughter look like a cheap hooker yeah whatever whatever the mimosas are in the kitchen have fun at day camp kids duh and remember wolves smell fear take care now all right you little maggots i'm scout leader bone this here's my assistant to the scout leader walter i will only answer the sir walter or superior leader all right now which one of you thinks baby cub bears are cute so you see a cute little cub he might go up to it maybe even pet it right yeah i mean maybe now you're dead mama bear at you for lunch like a cheap 7-eleven three-day old diquito what if i was there what did you say make it then what would you do if you ran into an aggressive female adult grizzly i would not run i would avoid direct eye contact that would wave my hands in the air to make me appear larger than i actually am if it was approaching at 25 feet away i would probably get my better hold up i'm impressed boy walter give him a beware bear badge lucky guess hey mom we're here i am no not hello my little raviolian you look terrible nice to see you too ma you know i was just watching the television in the sand that closing your eyes breathing a lot and pretending you don't have any problems is really good for your mind and your physical appearance closing the eyes you mean meditation i don't know what the kids are calling it but you need to start doing it thanks mom i'm here oh marie you look beautiful really what have you been up to my little tortellini oh you know just working i actually have a new gallery show with all my paintings coming up you guys should come and i paint something for the show sure moji you were just amazing sometimes i can't believe you came out of me we both came out of you ma two minutes apart oh don't be salty i'm the better twin janet it's not your fault the first pancake always comes out a little burnt and lumpy ma what is true she's talking about the order of us being born oh well thank you for watching boys janet anytime have fun at your uh family meeting i don't even want to know what goes on there okay i'm going to go set up the perfect date in riley's room you need to distract her on it what's up where's misha he is constipated are they what would you like to do let's play wiggles in my room no because i hate legos okay why are you so weird oh is it as you like me no because i like misha okay we're good come on i changed my mind about the legos let's go play okay welcome to your frozen kingdom princess riley i have frozen one and two ready to play and fresh turn on nuggies did my mom do this no then she never does stuff like this that was your mom i'm glad you're not constipated anymore both thank you for coming to babysitter interview what are your qualifications i have five years experience as a nanny and an early childhood education degree i'm an assistant scout leader and i have every safety badge you can think of i got some free time since when are you doing interviews why do you want this job i love children i like demanding respect for my inferiors i need the money this is my job if you broke any laws of course not you see this badge most likely to not break a law you want like how many or seriously do you drink disgusting only when i smoke we drink together all the time scenario an intruder comes in while you're here call 9-1-1 assuming i've already mapped out all the actives we've escaped through the nearest exit and call the authorities immediately i just tased the guy are you seriously gonna give away my job great you've got a job welcome to hell who is that there is a new babysitting prospect i don't want a new babysitter well apparently chad can't work seven nights a week for free so no babysitter hello bix you look terrifying it's perfect come in great so the rules to babysitting boys is pretty simple if you hear silence something is about to transpire and nine times out of ten it is a fire that's like a super [ __ ] up dr seuss poem hmm i didn't realize i was a poet boys call me the bex [Music] [Applause] hey [Applause] sergey i think i'm having a heart attack symptoms quick thank you sweaty palms nausea do you smell burnt toast hey flooded speech webmd says you're having a stroke or you're in love [Music] guys what's up what's going on what's going on chris they're saying that you're all me no that's crazy we're here we're your friends yeah we've always been here okay yeah that's what i thought i just might be probable though what will you kind of signify your issues or aspirations that doesn't even make sense the possible coping mechanism so you're saying i want to be russian toddlers or a depressed mom with addiction issues like oh [ __ ] no no because i i don't have kids i don't think that is the point how about you you're just some random russian mom like i have confidence you wish you had what about your mom i don't even speak russian you fine chris hi it's all good honey yeah guys come on we're here come here [Music] stop [Music] you

Channel: Kallmekris

Views: 13,852,099

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Id: ocd_GDed5qg

Length: 24min 22sec (1462 seconds)

Published: Wed Apr 07 2021