Kallmekris Top TikTok's Compilation!

[Music] all right so who did it mom it's me come on you know no it's me yeah maybe if i don't look at her she won't ask me oh [ __ ] i looked right at her got anything to say for yourself it wasn't me mom come on mm-hmm and you come on you can tell me i swear to god oh and i really wanted to take you out for ice cream today i guess not hey okay it was chris hey that is manipulation you look no i knew it all right class it looks like we're finished how about we let you guys out little early hey let's start with kids with birthdays january february march april sick cool now if you wear glasses nice sick dude how does teddy he's wearing pit vipers i don't make the rules okay uh next if you got asked to the high school dance that seems oddly specific okay you can leave if you're not insecure about your breast size i'm feeling very targeted right now okay couple people left let's go back to months okay may june okay sick i'm july august september october november december are you cool it's just me now okay how about if you haven't peed your pants accidentally in pe class you're a monster okay go on go pee go poop can we hurry it up let's go yes that's a very nice stick can you please go pee or put or something it's freezing outside finally are you serious okay hurry up come on you're an outside dog now staying at jungle chats what's up janet hey chad i need you to watch riley for me oh hello why because i want to be able to get drunk and pass out without worrying about my kid drawing with her own [ __ ] on the walls that's why no what's that in your room what hey already gone all right little dude come on in okay all right little dude you've been here before this is uncle chad's crib okay 19 inch plasma screen tv mini fridge futon what do you want to do first can we wash frozen frozen it's not like an action movie or something yeah like fast and furious yeah okay dope let's do it so she never needed the guy she just needed her sister all along yeah that's beautiful man i know how about i teach you how to shotgun after this okay all right little dude i'm gonna give you this can and then we just need a key okay okay all right i'm back what the hell [Applause] she's at it again tom oh i don't know exactly tom okay i why we might need evidence i don't know okay riley go have fun okay yeah i honestly didn't even know they had soccer for toddlers so do you enjoy watching riley play soccer and make new friends watch do other parents stay to watch it it's like watching a bunch of little drunk people follow up all around half of them are just picking up grass and eating it no every time i drop riley off i just go around back and my russian mom friend's always there with some vodka we have a good time so you two are friends oh yeah me and uh uh katrina yeah katrina no katrina i'm not gonna say it like that but yeah we become good friends so your kids play soccer too only for shits and giggles misha is youngest chess prodigy in russia checkmate and my other son sergey is two time national downhill ski champion he is four so would you consider yourself good mothers what do you say what not yes i'm feeling slightly judged hold my vodka janet i will take care of this janet said chad is very good babysitter what's up katrina hello chad i need you to watch misha and sergey oh hello hello well what do i get if i do you about to give you absolute certainty that my family won't come and visit you while you sleep tonight yeah okay uh yeah that's cool it's what i thought have a good time all right little dates come on in there's not a whole lot to do with uncle child's crib but what do you guys like okay we like chess also like checkers it is not even remotely like checkers uh you guys play fortnite we have never played fortnite please but we would like to try i'll get sick i'll set it up all right so i know you guys haven't played this game so what you gotta do is just oh okay you pick that up pretty quick um bacon russia we practiced with real guns yes it was mandatory preschool curriculum noted tom she's doing it again it's just weird yeah i think i first started noticing strange behavior about eight months ago or so i was going for a walk minding my own and then i saw her running through the bushes with her cellular device and one time i even saw her on the roof the roof like a crazy person you know it's one thing to do it in the comfort of your own home but to expose this looney tune behavior to all the neighbors outside i just no tom to be honest we're all scared i'm scared you know i've developed a theory that she's got one of those personality whatevers and i think she needs to talk to a professional but not here in my neighborhood she needs to go to one of those loony bins and i'm here to make sure of it tom thinks i'm crazy but i'm making it a mission to put a stop to all this and i think it's good because she doesn't know i've been watching and i need to keep it that way all right gang i thought we could play a game of pictionary no no absolutely not no come on why no you are insane when we play any family game you are way too competitive what honey come on they got a point honey it's it's not healthy oh come on what are you a bunch of chickens this is what i'm talking about yeah i don't know mom okay we'll play one game with your mom come on yes okay chris be my partner do i have to be yes now start the timer go come on okay pizza no a fish no look a hand no are you serious oh my god look at it and time's up what it was a moose you idiot i just didn't know i'd like a new partner no honey it's my turn start the timer okay go a rainbow yes what oh so we can cheat now what no how i don't know you tell me [Music] hi there mom hey honey what's up i got my wish for santa oh okay let's see elsa oh like elsa doll no i want the wheel elsa okay i don't know about that a real unicorn yeah you're giving a tall order to santa oh baby sister yeah honey is there anything on this list i could physically get for you why can't you be like all the other kids that just want ipads i thought santa was gonna get me those gifts not you i didn't mean me go get those gifts i meant um no no no santa's real santa's you know what i'm gonna call him personally and and we're gonna get you one of the things on this list for sure not a baby sister though because i'm not going through this [ __ ] again but how about we go how about we go to mcdonald's and we don't tell dad about this hey okay okay how do you get a real unicorn all right guys we got a new character in here i want you to meet her introduce yourself hi i'm courtney and this is my little one diamond where did you find this one chris she's like a discount version of the kardashians yes i have to agree with janet i'm not getting what they call good vibes with this one guys let's just get to know her okay what do you do i'm actually a full-time influencer what do you influence besides making bad decisions and spending more than fifty dollars on a cup janet can you not sup sorry i'm late who is that i'm courtney this is one of our new prospects courtney oh stop courtney and chad no i will not stand for this mom aren't they in love no no take your ipad shut up okay it's nice to meet you chad you're a lot nicer than some of the other characters here you know that liking iced coffee and driving around white jeep doesn't give you a personality right how did you know i had a weight jeep sorry i'm late oh and somebody's white jeep outside just got keyed what katrina walt nice one thank you for having me sergey and i over this is nice oh yeah anytime looks like they're having fun so if you touch this nerf on back of nick it'll render any opponent unconscious yes it is very simple we will show you okay so you have been using my parenting tips on riley uh you know here and there which one you like best uh to be honest i haven't used any janet you're more whipped than mocha frappuccino at starbucks i don't know katrina she's got this face you fall for little puppy dog eyes i fix this riley yeah what do you want for dinner tonight i want the dining eggies no dino nuggies are disgusting processed food that will give you cancer and you will die or having borscht okay good now go play so you just scare your kids into doing what you want them to do yeah pretty much okay noted and is that true but the dino monkeys i don't know probably hi mom can't you see i'm playing candy crush on the toilet right now yeah what do you want i just need to tell you something yeah now's the perfect time go ahead did you know that when when you when you go and you and you in in in when you in when i when it goes spit it out okay did you know that you can pee anywhere that you want where did you pee in this shoe box do you want to see it no riley i would not like to sh hey hey dude what the hell what's going on shut up she's coming okay listen i have a friend her name's cassandra i went over to her house last night because i needed to tutor her in math well that's not very believable shut up so i spent the whole night there and there was no party at mark's house okay i was never there okay but hey you get out yeah i'm out sup mom who's cassandra cassandra oh you know what i think jessica has a has an old friend named cassandra yeah oh okay so she was at uh cassandra's last night yes so no party at mark's party no huh oh and she said she was tutoring her and what was it science i believe and you were doing so well it was math wasn't it yeah you're both grounded what hi i'm deborah and i'm chris's neighbor and i'm currently in the process of trying to figure out what in the he double hockey stick she's always doing in our neighborhood and i have made it my personal mission to get her into the looney bin and yesterday was probably the most disturbing thing i've witnessed yet i saw her running around with a flip-flop in her mouth a flip flop no tom it is my business and earlier today i was listening into her talking to herself again no shocker there but i heard her speaking in a russian accent on what must have been a burner phone so now i'm thinking this is an even bigger issue than any of us ever thought you know some support would be nice tom so now forget the loony bin i need to prove that she's a russian spy i always knew that she had a screw loose up there but i never thought it was gonna go this deep i have quit my job and i have made it my personal mission to get to the bottom of this and i cannot let her know i'm on to her [Music] oh i hate this freaking family i'm gonna run away tonight oh wait where is party we're having pizza tonight i'm gonna run away tomorrow night i hope you're freaking happy nisha make yourself useful and go get me a trick one second oh hello you must be aaron chris's boyfriend okay very funny babe hey katrina who is that aaron katrina what the hell is this what is going on i thought this was all part of the deal no katrina this is not part of the all right movie time what do you want to watch let's watch that one with that girl that i like could you be a little bit more specific she's married to that guy from the office who's married to pam emily blunt yes i love her okay i think i know which movie you're talking about pause i'm getting a snack okay oh i don't know if i want ice cream or popcorn i shouldn't but i'm going ice cream you want some i'm good okay okay i'm gonna play it oh wait i gotta pee okay good to go are you done yeah great wait pause why he's from something i just need to google it who cares it's bugging me i knew it he's from the walking dead fantastic the movie makes so much more sense now thank you for that stop the movie what now this is too vulgar for me we're halfway through i don't care let's pick a new one you know what i'm out do not sneak up on me like that misha you know i have cat like reflexes i could have hit you overhead with bottle okay i'm sorry sergey and i just did something what is it that you did we want you to come look lead the way i swear to god if you guys threw on my wall again i do you like it did you use oil paint yes it is our own rendition of michelangelo's mural in a 16 chapel how did you get up that high i stood on sergey's shoulders it's actually pretty good thank you mom but if this isn't off my wall by tonight you're actually going to see my cat like reflexes if you know what i mean you gotta hang out and uncle chad's okay sup janet and katrina hey chad hello chad we need you to watch little ones for us oh seriously i'm kind of busy it wasn't really a question oh come on chad fine you're fun little ones right little dudes come on in what do you want to do can we build a fort no i agree with riley i concur all right sick how about me and riley make one and you guys make one and see who's his best i like this agreed all right sick riley let's go okay all right looks good riley let's go check out misha and sergey's okay hey how'd you guys see holy [ __ ] hello chad come in how'd you guys do this our mother taught us how to build premium shelter out of anything how does this look bigger than my whole place we simply put in support beams to create vaulted ceilings so it feels bigger and the music and lights they may have taken apart your computer for parts to up the aesthetic y'all not even now this is tight yeah and i just honey are you okay are you no okay you can't cry because i'm gonna cry okay we need to breathe okay one out two somebody call 9-1-1 yeah and uh oh careful no brush it off you're fine you're fine no tears really yeah can you walk okay then i'm not coming over there anyway um every time we rinse about this by the city show back to bay i want you to know that i'm never leaving cause i miss the snow and then i live don't play around with it truck levi yes sir you won't tell me how this cup got in my sink it wasn't me so you're telling me this dirty cup just manifested out of nowhere i don't know all right all right all right okay so we good you know by you not telling the truth we just we just fall apart you know we just evaporate into into nothingness see the [ __ ] are you saying we don't balance our chakras the whole world's just gonna fall apart don't make me do this again don't talk we just call balance after me [Music] all right you know what i'm not doing this again it was me ready to see janet and riley duh of course great hey katrina misha sergey come on in hello janet miesha sergey go play with riley okay okay hi guys hello comrade i got you something for christmas oh you shouldn't have it's jagermeister it's a j i'm kidding it's vodka it better be anyway it looks like the kids are having fun they sent the clothes you speak of riley you say he rides sleighing sky with reindeer yeah i am equally as confused as misha this is physically impossible why you mean i'm telling you this fat jolly man in the sky is not real what hey what's going on over there yes riley why you pour water from your eyes the twin said san is not real oh [ __ ] no riley he's real he is no the twins are correct the santa claus is not real katrina i mean he could be okay but not actually katrina hi there mom riley am i dreaming i don't think so no i know i'm not dreaming because i'm not on a beach with george clooney anymore thank you very much nothing roger go back to sleep above me what do you mean the saints will not love you because i worked and there's no presents under the tweet what what time is it six a.m it's six okay i think i think you got to go back to bed and and i think i think santa santa drank a little a little bit too much last night and and he slept in so you got to go back to bed otherwise he's not gonna he's not gonna put your presents out for you santa twinks yes santa drinks cause he has little elves that drive him up the friggin wall no roger okay okay you know what riley just go back to bed and i'll come get you when all the presents are out okay okay okay merry freaking christmas let's go loser i'm coming oh you had to trip me pick up your feet check this out guys oh what freaking headshot dude oh nice yeah thanks oh shut up let's go loser snow's really coming down go on hurry up yeah it's snow it's great hurry up it oh kevin i'm freezing my ass off let's go no wait not in the house you're wet [ __ ] mom yeah i don't feel great i don't think i should go to school today oh and what's your uh what's your sickness my stomach hurts oh no hey mom what i got like a wicked headache i don't think i can go to school today yeah we'll see about that let me fill your forehead ow what are you okay really yeah should have gone fake vomit i'm coming honey oh my baby's sick are you sick no no i'm calling the school you're gonna stay here today do i'm gonna make you breakfast yeah okay we can rent movies today or we can go pick up mcdonald's and then go pick up your sisters from school and just not get them anything yeah hey mom can you help me with my homework oh yeah for sure what's the subject s times tables easy okay here we go this is what we're gonna do okay we're gonna multiply this number and put it here and then we're gonna bring this number and then put it right up here no that's not how the teacher does it what do you mean we're not allowed to do it that way why that's stupid that's how you get the answer there's no other way to do it because we have to show our work yeah just show it the way i did it you get the same answer why are they changing it up on us i know but the teacher said your teacher's an idiot hi i'm deborah and i have made it my personal mission to figure out what my looney tune neighbor's alternative motives are i was doing some pretty standard surveillance yesterday and i noticed that now she's using different disguises so now i don't even know if chris is her real name and now how do you know that tom how how and the other day i was just out for a walk when i saw her filming herself using these tiny hands are those her real hands are they not i took it upon myself and went to investigate i snuck into her house i went through every single drawer and found the most horrific thing ever severed hollowed out baby hands i just no tom no they were real i so i did what any sane person would do and i called the cops but she must have covered it up because they didn't take her in for any questioning yes i may have broken some laws but did you did you hear anything i said she's crazy no tom no don't call the police ready to hang out with misha and sergey yeah okay everything okay who was that no it was just my mother are you fighting with your mom no i just told her i love her really riley janet come on in okay riley misha sergey go play so what's new with you i'm on that called tinder i thought you were married though my husband is in russia but i'm doing renovations what tinder's a dating app what no i put in my bio i need big strong men or women to come help me rearrange my books i have 10 12 people coming this afternoon okay we gotta delete this app what is going on yeah what the hell we are teaching riley self defense though we taught riley how to get out of chokehold and she flipped sergey into the wall get his hole in wall but i am okay oh my god riley you okay i'm okay no worries about holland wall i have 12 people to come help with renaults anyway yeah wait no no no okay riley have fun at chuckle chads see you chad bye mom oh yeah i just had one question already gone all right riley what do you want to do can we do self defense self offend oh all right yeah cool cool i did a couple karate classes back in the day so i'm going to show you some moves misha and say okay taught me you shouldn't surrogate whatever all right okay i'm gonna lay down a scenario okay okay i'm a stranger i'm walking up behind you okay you don't know i'm here i go around you like this okay now here's what you do you oh my god riley zoey oh no little dude that was freaking awesome okay wait wait why is there two of you hey youtube i'm back what are you doing chad what's up janet uh are you you made blueberry pancakes on tuesday what i'm seeing constellations man i think he might be a concussed oh wait what hey mom can i go out with some friends tonight with who oh just like christy and alex no where do you think you're going nowhere as nowhere i was going to go to study group yeah that's the best she got i expected more from you now yeah i should have said movies going out oh fun who with none of your business all right what are you gonna be back i don't know later okay well let me know if you need a ride back okay hey hey and there's not there's not beer in the fridge you can take all right all right see ya i can't believe we're actually going to this honky tonk's potty lighten up janet at least we get free food and booze she doesn't even drink really this party is going to suck hi ladies come on in oh hey chad hey courtney you invited hope oh my god salt family now my girlfriend courtney hey guys no pictures please you invited them yeah i thought it would be fun and i told you don't bring your kids oh really hell oh it's fine just come on in okay y'all so i thought it'd be fun to have a murder mystery party mother what autumns and conditions oh i love murder mystery i did this once when i was at jessica outlet's house um nobody cares okay so the rules are oh who turned out the lads courtney no oh my god riley you okay i'm okay this wasn't the plan what happened i thought this was part of the game tree you killed courtney no just unconscious probably oh my god [Music] can you get me a glass of water yeah one sec thank you hi mom can you put on frozen on my ipad please now please fine thank you hey mama can i please have a snack yeah i'll get you a snack okay thank you hey mom what riley what what what i just wanted to tell you about i love you i love you too and can we also go to mcdonald's for shaky nuggies no we are not going i'm on the mountain with my boyfriend aaron and we're going to show you some moves oh my god she fainted ow you good yeah now that you kicked me in the side i am so much better thank you i can't believe courtney's dead like i said she's unconscious she's not dead katrina how could you she said there was murder mystery party and there was no rules no katrina i was about to explain the rules and then and who turned out the lats before katrina killed courtney yeah that's true who did it it wasn't me lights are all the way on other side of the room i was olympic athlete but that wasn't shot but not running okay then it was janet you hated courtney and you and katrina have this weird intimate friendship thing hey hey listen i hated courtney more than anybody in here but i wouldn't go to jail for her well how is that leave okay it was me riley why i heard her call you and katrina a bad mom that [ __ ] now i don't feel so bad how could you courtney we're going to need some vodka what chris coming yeah what's up mom what's my password what i don't know well why not cause i'm not you mom what's your password for other things it's the same for everything okay well that's a problem just tell it to me i'll type it in okay may oh for 2000 wait is that alyssa's birthday yeah and you chose one of your four kids birthdays yeah so picking favorites a little bit you know what never mind this didn't work so is it anything else i don't know maybe a five after it okay why five i don't know i like that number okay you need to start writing stuff down uh that didn't work either i'll just fix it i can't i don't know you're since why do you even have an account for ubereats i don't that's what you're trying to sign into no i was signing up you were signing in not signing up oh who's that i told you grandma's coming over to babysit okay i'm coming i'm coming oh oh or you could just let yourself in you know you should really be locking your doors and hello to you tuma i heard on the television that there's one of those crazy serial killers around oh really here well a couple states over but still you really gotta stop watching so much dateline ma okay i'm heading out you two behave don't talk to anybody with a mustache noted what are we doing today riley can we watch a movie yeah you ever seen goodfellas i don't think so what we gotta get some candy too mom's had no candy well mom's not here you known us here so let's do it hi i'm back did you guys have fun i want to be a gangster gangsta ma what did i say about goodfellas i thought she could use some culture she's three years old ma and yeah hurry up let's go good boy come on he says what's in your mouth what drop it no drop it drop drop it hey no let me see let me see open open your mouth open open your mouth what are you no what do you do chew it what you little [ __ ] what is that a bird okay i'm just gonna come over there just gonna no big deal all right no big deal yeah easy does it oh it's still alive okay no big deal okay easy does it here we go nope nope hell hey is your mom here yeah yeah my car broke down i need to borrow a phone okay mom we don't want your girl got cookies hey sorry to bother you but my car broke down and i can't get a signal on my phone wait dr phil hey listen i'm as surprised to be here as you are but i i just need to borrow a phone yeah yeah of course we just gotta wait for riley to finish watching frozen seriously that's a two-hour movie i mean could i maybe borrow it now fine riley i'll take you to mcdonald's if you get back to fill the phone no i don't want to tell you how to be a mother but don't bribe the child i mean that'll never work trust me did i ask for a therapy session that riley come on i bet you're not even a real doctor oh wow um you got your hands full i tell you what i'll just either walk or talk to your neighbors or something never mind good luck to you you

Channel: Kallmekris

Views: 12,571,264

Keywords: Wondershare Filmora

Id: RtfmTOv_kgA

Length: 33min 40sec (2020 seconds)

Published: Tue Feb 02 2021