What would it look like if somebody
with a fashion sense that unyielding decided to design a room for their kids?
Hi, and welcome back to me talking about whatever I want. Today, I want to talk about the
Kardashian family's playroom, because words cannot describe how unsettled I am by this literal
kid's room. But, first, of course, I'd like to do a comment shout out from the last video.
This comment actually goes out to Emma, who says, "Every time you say 'Welcome back to me talking
about whatever I want,' I feel empowered through you." I actually like this comment, because I feel
empowered too. There's something nice about being this laid-back and being able to just kind of talk
about things that weigh on me. Sometimes, it's extremely serious situations that are bordering
on illegal. And at times like this, I just... You know what, let's just jump into it, and I'll
let you decide how you feel. How about that? So, I feel like Kim Kardashian is one of those
people who I don't have to give an intro for. Multi, multimillionaire, massive reality TV star,
married to one of the biggest rappers in the game, and probably most notably, she looks like this.
There's not much to say about Ms. Kardashian that hasn't been said before, so I'm just not going to
say anything. But just as strange and disconnected from reality as I think Kim Kardashian and
Kanye West both are, I have to give them props, because they have a really beautiful family.
They have four kids, named Psalm, Saint, Chicago, and North. Holy crap, I knew their names off
the top of my head. I might be becoming one of those people. To be fair, I just saw it
in these articles I've been reading, okay? The Kardashian-West family is no stranger to
finding itself in the news, usually for mildly harmless things, but this time they're in the
news because Kim K went on Snapchat and showed off her kids' playroom. First off, like millions of
people, thanks to H3H3 and Architectural Digest, I'm already quite familiar with the inside of
the Kardashian family home. But just as a little refresher, I pulled up this Architectural
Digest article, which imagine spending so much money on your house, that you get an
article about it in an architecture magazine. So, as you can see, this is their house. It
was designed by Axel Vervoordt and Kanye West, and a couple of other people who have too much
money. And it's what I would call oppressively expensive. It's rich to the point where I would
feel bad living there. It's overwhelmingly pristine. Here's an image of them just playing
on, what appears to be a pillow shaped like an octopus or a snake, or perhaps a snake that
ate an octopus. Oh, apparently this misshapen pillow is installation art by Isabel Rower,
because why wouldn't it be? But as you can see, they're dressed in all white, the sculpture is
white, the floor is white, the walls are white, and the painting off to the side is also white.
Now, before you all hop into my comment section and tell me that I'm not one to talk, because
everything in my room right now is gray. My walls are gray, the mirror is gray, this chair
is gray, the paintings on my wall of gray, I'm wearing black and gray. I have these black
headphones right here, but I also have these other headphones right here, which are gray. I
don't have a problem. I can stop anytime I want, okay? I'm not addicted to getting everything
in the same color. Not going to lie to you, chief, even my curtains are gray. But, my
excuse... All right, fine, I'm a hypocrite, I don't have an excuse. But you know what, at
least my room is nice, okay? And, it feels like somewhere that somebody can live in, I hope.
I just realized you can see my books in the corner, and they're all gray. You know what? Maybe
I have no room to talk. But then, I go back and look at a picture of the house, and I immediately
feel justified for calling them out. Their house just looks empty. It looks like nobody lives
there. Look at how tiny these kids are. That baby right there is going to think that he never left
the hospital, that is how white the walls are. This hallway in their home looks like Monument
Valley. Have you ever played that? That's what this hallway looks like. Their living room looks
like an unfinished blender model. What is wrong with the window in their kitchen? It has no sill.
It just dawned on me, this window has no sill and no curtains. It's just a square hole in the wall.
Okay, their pool is nice. Yeah, the pool is nice, I don't really have anything to say about
that. They have heads on pillars next to, yet another window without a sill. So, wait,
is this how you can tell I'm not a millionaire, because I have a window sill? Should I just cut
this off, and then the value of the home I'm in will instantly double? I don't even know what
kind of room this is. Who puts a table in front of a couch? Oh yeah, I think this place right
here is actually an installation piece. It's called depression. Okay, I do have to say, the
outside of the house is actually really nice. I would do anything to be surrounded by that many
plants. But yeah, that is the Kim Kardashian slash Kanye West, monastery, art installation,
museum nightmare that they call home. If I woke up in that place, I would feel like
I was in a nightmare. Even if I lived there for three years, every single day I wake up, I would
freshly think I've been kidnapped by a psychopath. And then, I remember that it was my house and
I'm just rich enough to unironically have that look. So now that we've explored the glory of the
Kardashian-West home, I want you to ask yourself, what would it look like if somebody
with a fashion sense that unyielding decided to design a room for their kids?
Now, what I thought at first was that they just made the kids play in these white rooms.
It's like, "Daddy, can we paint the walls?" "Oh, sure." Just pulls out a can of white paint. It's
like, "No, I mean a different color." "Yeah, this is an even brighter shade of white."
I thought they made the kids live in these hospital corridors with all white sheets and
no toys. But, without further ado, here it is. So, I'm cleaning up for the night, and just
because you guys always say my house is so minimal, well, you guys haven't seen my playroom.
Hold up. She's cleaning up for the night, meaning she cleans her kids' playroom every single
day? Also, do you honestly expect me to believe that Kim Kardashian, the Kim Kardashian,
has cleaned the room in the past 39 years? So, we have our stage here,
where the kids often have a band. A stage? Okay. Okay. When I was a kid, I wanted to
be a singer too. Considering the fact that I sound like trash when I sing, it's probably good that
that dream didn't work out for me. Then again, have you heard some of these people on the
radio? I mean, I might've stood a chance. But, when I wanted to play pretend, I might've gotten
a cardboard box, usually a toilet paper roll, but maybe a toy microphone if it was a good
Christmas. These kids have a stage, a drum set. Bro, this isn't Fisher-Price, this is Yamaha.
Where do you find a full drum set in toddler size? And, over here is our projector. So, they
watch movies while they sit in the playroom. I was allowed to watch TV. But, if I wanted
to watch it, I had to clean my room first, and then go ask for permission to maybe watch
my parents' TV. And, they usually said yes, but apparently, I could have just had a projector.
We have our singalong microphones and violins. The kids play instruments. North plays
violin. We have Psalm's section over here of just all the little toys.
You know what's getting to me? She talks about the full set of drums and the custom
stage and that projector in the ceiling, the same way she talks about Psalm's little toys.
I think that these people have so much money, they don't see a distinction between
a little toy and a full drum set. I'm not even going to lie to you that's goals.
... he likes. And then the dollhouse is here. Okay, so why is the dollhouse bigger than
the house I'm in? That shouldn't be right. That's not right, is it? But it happened.
North's OMG dolls that she's obsessed with. And then, all the baby carriages for Chi.
That was a whole stroller. What? All the baby carriage... Even when my siblings were
babies, we had... I feel like I'm going to be thinking about this video for a long time.
The whole paint section, this is where they do their homework and the little paint cart.
Did you see how sharp that table was? Okay. Okay. Okay. I'm not going to tell them how to parent.
Well, yes, yes, yes I am. When my brother... Well, now here I am exposing him without his permission.
When he was a little baby, maybe two years old, we had this coffee table, and my dad was
actually really proud of this coffee table, because... I don't remember if he had bought it or
he found it, but it was nice. It was solid wood, it was kind of heavy, and it had this glass
middle. There's no middle of the story, okay, so that's the beginning. And, the end of the
story is that my brother ran head-on into the corner of that and we had to throw it away. That's
basically how it goes when you don't baby-proof sharp corners on your furniture. But, here we have
a table in the kids' playroom that looks like... I think it cut me just from watching this video.
All in here is organized, educational stuff for their homework, that they sit and do here.
Now, this is where we're bordering on, I didn't know if creepy is the word, but why are the
books color-coded? The books are color-coded, the pencils are... The toys are color-coded. I don't
know how much experience you've had with kids, but if you present them a system, they will turn
it into an art installation for all intents and purposes. So, either she is making the kids keep
everything color-coordinated, or she is having her people go back and recolor-coordinate every
single thing, every single night. I don't know which one of those is more insane. Wait a minute,
those toys up there, aren't those several hundred dollars? What kid is even going to know that these
exist, let alone want to put it on their shelf. Every drawer here has LEGOs, color-coordinated.
The LEGOs are color-coordinated. So, is he not allowed to use them?
Hold on. Kim Kardashian kids' ages. The first two are four and nine months old.
So, first of all, that's the creepiest question I've ever asked Google in my
entire life. Secondly, Saint is four, so why are his LEGOs color... She's not letting
him use them, that's my only conclusion. He's not allowed to play with the LEGOs. Either
that, or she's just lying and pretending like the LEGOs are always color-coordinated, which
is equally likely, but honestly, kind of sad. This is Chi's world over here. You have
her ice cream parlor, her grocery store... They have a grocery store as a toy? They
have a toy grocery store. Poverty exists, but some people have toy grocery stores.
This is Chi's world over here. You have her ice cream parlor, her grocery store. I have
to show you, in her little grocery store, you have to see, look, it goes down the
line, and then you ring things up. And then, once you type in whatever, you go on this side
and you have to sign your name for the products. It's a functioning grocery store. I think I'm
losing it. No, I think I lost it before I decided to do this video, and I'm only realizing that now.
So, there you have it, people. There's color. Okay, she sounds really offended. There you have
it, people. There's color. In other words, "Hey, we may live in an all white house, but I swear
there's color in the room. We put color in the kids' room and it's coordinated, and all the
stuffed animals have X's in their eyes like they're dead, because that's normal. I gave my
kids a dead Elmo for Christmas. Big bird is dead. And, it's definitely because that's the one my
kid wanted, and not because I needed to throw some color in my kid's room real fast, so I just
bought the most expensive Elmo plushie I could, not realizing that it's a dead Elmo, which is
am art installation." They gave their kids dead, Sesame Street, stuffed animals. I am terrified.
Slime, bubbles, and crayons, it's all color-coordinated, at least it's
supposed to be. We try to keep it clean. So, she uses the words clean and
color-coordinated interchangeably. And then, the costume section. So, we have
an entire costume section. Everything like this is just all headpieces and crowns.
This is our Moana, Hawaiian section. How rich are you, that you have a
kid's costume collection separated by... Wait a minute, Moana is not Hawaiian.
It's a pretty organized... Puzzles. It's a pretty organized area. So,
this is where my kids have fun. For such a short video, she said the word
organized so many times. She said the word color-coordinated so many times. I think Kim
Kardashian would really like my room. Anyway, that was the Kim Kardashian room... There was supposed
to be a point at the end of this video about how money can't fix your insecurity, and she's trying
way too hard to prove to everybody that... But, they have a store in there, the store works.
It had a card reader. You know what? Who cares.
