IELTS Live - Task 2 Writing - Start Band 9

hi students and welcome to today's live ielts class my name is adrian and i'm streaming to you live from beautiful central europe i hope everybody is having a great week so far finding enjoyment in life and staying positive and healthy in this lesson we are looking at task two writing this is a member's chat class of course everybody is welcome to watch and in 90 minutes i will host another class that will be for everyone where everybody can join the chat hi abhishek nice to see our members coming into the class as usual this lesson is presented to you by aehelp.com for academic ielts success please visit us there and for general ielts visit us at g ieltshelp.com on both of our websites we have lots of help for you for the writing section writing essays getting professional editing feedback with comments so make sure to use those services the websites look like this this is the academic website here at ae aehelp.com you can click that big red button to join the premium package there if you have question students you can contact me adrian adrienne aehelp.com about our products are about the altz exam hi janil hi sami owis abhishek nick hill carolina rajvir pavon beck john amrita nice to see so many students joining in on the class that's fantastic we'll get going here in just a moment um again the schedule for this week's live classes it's on our youtube community post so you can always check it out there we will have two classes today including this one and then we'll have two classes tomorrow and the day after okay so let's get into our writing task to practice um we're going to uh focus on planning brainstorming and uh coming up with a high band answer that's our goal here uh this is something that you have to do in the 40 minutes um i suggested to many students to look at that uh writing marking rubric for the ielts exam did anybody do that did anybody take a look at that writing ielts marking sheet that's available online to the public from uh british council did anybody look at that to see what is actually required by um you the candidates to get those higher band scores the reason i ask that is because i think the task completion category is really important to look at and to understand clearly i'm not going to go over that with you can check that on your own but i will tell you a couple of important points uh for the high band scores for the bands seven eight and nine rodriguez says yeah i've seen that okay good rajr i'm happy you're looking at that so um look at the writing section criteria or marking online okay and you will see that for band 7 to 9 essays the task completion category indicates that these band levels require original essays that are well developed with specific points okay so again the reason i'm explaining this to you is just for those students who are still stuck on these ielts writing template essays that you're seeing online and i think many of you know what i'm talking about where you think that the introduction so the ielts template essays that you see in many places online and elsewhere which simply state to paraphrase the task to question and then write this essay will discuss the benefits and deficits of is not considered satisfactory for band 7 to 9 task completion marking criteria okay so just wanted to kind of really start with that point i keep emphasizing that we have a lot of viewers and i really want everybody to get as high of scores as possible so it's really important that everybody's clear on that that this type of introduction where you simply just paraphrase or even some students repeat the question and then write a thesis an indirect thesis like this essay will discuss the benefits and deficits is not considered satisfactory for band seven to nine task completion so if you look at that writing section criteria for the ielts exam that's made to the public it says that the student expresses original thought with clear direct structure makes sound arguments that are explained in detail in the essay so you can see that okay and that's what they're talking about all right all right um and just keep in mind that these types of essays are absolutely unacceptable this is this is another reason why it's really bad that students are learning this essay format from online and from certain classes is that they're going to be in shock when they get to their college or university these types of essays are absolutely unacceptable at the college and university level i would say even at the high school level okay but for the benefit of the doubt i'll keep it as such all right so i can see that many of our students are like yeah i got that i know i've explained many many of you that point over and over again um but it's just really really important and for those of you who are going to study in university and college abroad this type of essay you will nose dive if you do this kind of writing okay all right so let's get into correct essay planning and into correct writing strategy which is effective both for ielts and for post-secondary study okay all right so first thing first uh let's read the question uh carefully slowly okay don't rush through the question pay attention to every point in the question okay you should spend 40 minutes on this task it is common these days to pay for services and products uh with uh personal information okay like email address and shopping locations especially online rather than money discuss the advantages and disadvantages uh and give your own opinion okay let's take out that unnecessary word all right um sammy says this essay i practiced today morning that's interesting sammy because our team came up with this question so i guess if you saw this somewhere else um somebody else came up with it at the same time because this is coming from our own think tank mind you it's not surprising sammy because the questions that our team comes up with on our end we're thinking the same way as cambridge ielts test makers as well what are the hot topics that most people can talk about um that are kind of general yet still unique okay so that's kind of um it's an interesting point sammy so when you think about what might be your task to question which is impossible to guess okay but a lot of students like to kind of think about this so what might be my ielts uh task to question right a lot of people would love to know the answer to that before they sit the test um hi mahil um the only information i can tell you about this is it can be any uh question uh within the confounds of uh most people let's do it like this a most people like let's say 99 percent should have some knowledge of it b it should let's make a list here and then you'll kind of see what kind of uh restraints ielts is working with when they come up with these questions okay and it's a nice insight sammy so why not let's break out into this a little bit so it should be non-biased okay so um equal for cultures genders ages religions it should be original and [Music] students of various english abilities should be able to write some information about it okay so that's kind of the the constraints welcome again berendra um so these are kind of the constraints so when ielts people are coming up with questions for task two when our team is coming up with questions for task two uh these are kind of the ideas that we keep in mind okay so uh modern technology the internet that's why it's a hot topic uh for today and of course um they're often provocative topics so when possible it should be an interesting topic as well maybe a topic that many people think about so keep that in mind and that's valuable information okay so that's valuable information to understand and to consider when you're looking at these task two questions now realistically of course there are a million different questions uh that we could ask within those confounds is that clear so is that kind of do you understand what ielts or what people who come up with these essay questions are considering when they come up with these essay questions you've probably felt that looking and practicing uh several of these questions okay all right so uh yeah oh it says sure yeah okay all right so um let's uh yeah good i'm happy to i was looking for that feedback so i'm happy to see it all right so let's paraphrase this question first okay so step one uh let's make sure that uh we all understand this question clearly so let's paraphrase it let's write it in our own words i'm going to do the same so i'll have a moment of silence while i paraphrase let you think a little bit um so and then we'll compare okay so that is my paraphrase let's see what you've come up with uh bekshan says nowadays it is prevalent to purchase goods and services digitally by providing private info such as email accounts and zip codes rather than cash very nice back john explain both the drawbacks and merits of this phenomenon and state your own position very nice beck john okay i'm a lot of good paraphrasing there carolina says nowadays it's a tendency to pay for services and products with private information like email addresses and shopping locations especially online rather than cash uh discuss pros and cons of this yeah cash is okay cash is like real paper money there's also digital money so i just kept it as money but cash is okay rajvir says these days it is trendy especially during online shopping to buy products and services by furnishing personal information or personal details such as email and location rather than using money a very good interesting use of furnishing rajvir it's possible yeah describe the benefits and deficits of it and explain your own position very good my paraphrase is uh frequently nowadays individuals exchange their private information uh like email and location often on the internet uh instead of paying with money what are the benefits and negatives of this trend and what is your perspective on this okay so that's my paraphrase uh paraphrasing should happen quickly if you get stuck you have to really pay attention to why are you getting stuck what might you be missing in the question uh what is not clear if you're stuck paraphrasing the question it might be that something is not clear in the question so maksoot says nowadays it has become simple instead of simple muksu i think use the word commonplace commonplace to purchase goods and services with uh position of uh shopping mostly online rather than cash okay mux is not bad a little bit off on the paraphrasing but you're on the right track all right oh it's these days it is common for people to purchase goods and services with their personal information as email address instead of money okay oh it's good watch your prepositions okay sammy says generally nowadays uh it's common to pay for necessities uh with one's own data like private data i would put private data there sammy like email address and uh shopping preferences especially e-transactions like mobile payments apps are famous for this uh rather than cash transactions yeah okay good all right great so uh let's go to the next step and identify the topic and the controlling idea so here what are we talking about okay uh what's the topic what are we talking about uh maxwell says paying online yeah it's not just online although we the question does say mostly online um so you're somewhat right uh yeah um that's right rajvir method of payment method of payment mm-hmm exactly okay carolina says i'm not sure paying for services and products with personal information uh carolina that's a little bit of a mix of the topic and the controlling idea so method of payment okay that's what we're talking about is the method of payment okay what are we actually paying with right so you can pay with cash you can pay by trading a chicken you could pay with an ounce of blood or you could pay with your personal information right depending on where you are you're you have options for what you pay with so method or we could also say mode of payment okay and then what's the controlling idea yeah so um remember students that all you need to do when you're coming up with a topic is answer the question what are we uh talking about so are we talking about only uh paying with personal information no because we're paying we're talking but also uh paying with personal information instead of money right so uh what are we what are we taught with so what's the controlling okay yeah so raj very very good so rajabria says the controlling idea is paying with personal information rather with then paying with money okay um and uh sami says the advantages and disadvantages of this okay so i would put those together rajvir and sami and create the controlling idea of advantages and disadvantages of paying with personal information rather than money okay online or sometimes you do that now in shopping malls or other places as well where people will give you a product and all you have to do is give them your email how many of you have had a situation where you're walking through a shopping mall and somebody runs up to you and gives you a sample of soap and all they want from you is your name and your email address has anybody had that experience or they give you a sample of shampoo or they give you a free something and all they want from you is your email or some piece of personal data what your zip code is is all they want from you your name and your zip code or your name in your email something like that i think most of us have okay so most of us have had that's it we'll give you something just give us this little bit of information right yeah carolina's like yep so um so it's online but it's also in physical form so you do have this in the real world as well oh mining human data is a big business these days for sure okay so that's the controlling idea okay advantages and disadvantages of paying with personal information all right so let's go through this in a little bit of detail what's the first question that i should ask okay so clearly we're on the same page so this is why see we're in many different countries around the world um there's at least i would say even among the members i think there's at least eight or nine different countries uh represented in this class um so um yeah what's the first and we all have the same experience right so this is a global phenomenon right global phenomenon so beck john says what is a method of payment or mode of payment yeah exactly so that would be your first simple question simple quote-unquote doesn't mean easy and that's what we want to ask first so what is a method of payment and what's the answer to that so if you had to define this like let's say an alien came to visit earth and sees that we have this uh economic system of buying and selling maybe they don't right uh we can't assume that aliens have the same systems as we do and this alien asks you okay so you've told me that there's this system in place that involves a method of payment what does it mean a method of payment so what does that mean what is the answer to that question and this is where i want to start the week by getting you thinking so getting those wheels turning especially in english i'm really hoping that most of your thinking about these ideas in english okay try to keep your ideas in english so what is a method of payment so os says there are many ways credit card debit cash visa mastercard um that's a type of payment os but that's not necessarily the definition of a method of payment so begging says it's the way people pay for their products using modern technology or cash i think that's a bit off too back john what does it actually mean a method of payment try not to use the same word so try not to use the word pay okay it's very difficult to clarify an idea for someone using the same words as the question so try not to use the same words in the answer okay uh nikhil you you too have that so you say payment method plastic money online payments using different software those are examples those are how we pay okay but it's not the what it's not the why okay i think all of you are thinking about the how answer instead of the what answer try not to confuse the what and the how okay um so what is a payment so what is what is a method of payment don't think about the house here okay so beck john says it is options people have to purchase their product and services okay let's take that one step further back john what is that option okay this is what i would say it is a perceived value that can be exchanged for a product or service okay maybe i'm not clear enough with method of payment if i just take away that and just say payment so what is a payment okay so instead of thinking about it as a method of payment that's maybe a bit much here and that's what's confusing think about it just as what is payment okay does that make a bit more sense now explaining it this way i think i might have miscommunicated that with you a bit so here uh when we're thinking of a method of payment i'm not thinking of a type of payment like cash or gold or silver but i'm actually thinking like what is the concept of payment those are just examples of payment types right okay is everybody on the same page so if i see something that you have and i perceive that to have value for me so i look at that and i go hey that button on your shirt that's valuable for me i can really use that i can use that to catch a fish for example and i'm willing to trade my shirt for that button then that button becomes your method of payment for my shirt because it's a perceived value for me okay if i don't perceive it as having value then i'm not going to exchange anything for it okay yeah so os says the economic definition is that it is the value that you're trading okay uh mahi it's all a type of barter system at the end of the day right when we standardize that barter system it becomes a fiat system of uh monetary exchange but we don't need to get that detailed okay so let's not go that far down the rabbit hole um okay what's the next question so what's the next question and again this is where you really want to be accurate and you want to be able to do this quickly so you're practicing this every time you're looking at this these types of task two questions so what is a method of payment it is a perceived value that can be exchanged for a product or a service what's the next question let's get into this okay what would be what would be a good question that could help you write a good essay for this uh mahi you're thinking about the why for the controlling ideas and that's good you want to do that later but before that beck john says why do we have these modes of payment yeah carolina very good why we use payments so keep your thoughts simple if you can think quickly and well in simple terms you'll do really well in these types of essays and communication so why do people and society support a system of payments okay or support modes of payments i'm basically asking the same as you um so why do we do that it's the answer that's important for us here okay yeah so janelle says why are there these methods that was good janil why are there these methods of payment okay uh berenger why is it useful sure in a very simple way yeah muksud good to exchange goods and services to satisfy our needs right okay uh to fulfill our needs and desires abhishek needs and desires right i need a bag of potatoes because i'm hungry i don't have potatoes but i can teach english you have a bag of potatoes and you want to speak english because then you can sell your potatoes to more people so you say okay adrian teach me english for 20 minutes and i'll give you a bag of potatoes and i go all right sounds good and we make that exchange right so we don't have everything that we need and so we create this uh method of payment system uh to fulfill our needs and desires okay so it is needed to fulfill our needs and desires absolutely now we get to how so how are these methods of payment in society and this answer many of you have already given there is a fiat system of currency in place that's what we have right now there is uh personal uh information so information exchange that has value right and then we have commodities precious metals and so on there are many many different methods of payment in society including the fiat system including precious metals like gold and silver including personal information which is one of the most recent ones that have been clearly established there's also commodities like grains rice fresh water and so on okay uh the fiat system gineal is our system of using uh dollars and different currencies okay like indian rupiah is a type of fiat system it's called the fiat system it's the name of it okay all right um so before the fiat system we had the gold standard right where all of the value was equated to gold all right uh so now that we've thought about this um now we need to get into the controlling idea and we could ask a lot of questions for the controlling idea um what is paying with personal information i think we know that what's the next question so if we think about what is paying with personal information it means i give somebody my email address they give me a bar of soap to take with me okay so what's the next question and this is a very important one to do well on this essay before we get to that one abhishek what are the advantages of paying with personal information yeah so that's a good one rajvir okay so roger says before we think about the advantages disadvantages let's think about the why so why do we choose to pay with personal information rather than cash you've probably realized so remember students visualize right always visualize visualizing you get a lot of help right you've probably seen products on the internet where it says you can pay us five dollars a month and we don't need any of your personal information or let us access this personal information all of your facebook contacts or whatever and you can get it for free have any of you seen this type of payment system in apps or in services that you're using where it basically says pay us five dollars a month and we don't want this this information or give us this this information and you can use the product for free have you seen this before natalie says sure i've seen it um yeah one that i can give you uh our one sig one signal is a company that we work with uh one signals push notifications um they have an option where it's either a hundred dollars a month that's what we use and we keep all of our data private or they can resell all of our contact data to third parties and use their service for free okay so you have this as well okay all right um so before we go too far down the rabbit hole why so why should we choose so why do people choose to pay with personal information rather than cash why is that yeah background a common one is email account but it's more and more um yeah i'm maybe there's too many problems with it in india that's why so okay so not why do companies want it but why do people do it so why would you say okay i don't want to pay the five dollars so i'll just give you my personal information so os says it seems to save much money up front right okay back john says discount uh janelle says it can convenient it seems to be okay all right okay so that's great any other ideas so romaine says people believe that it can lead to future benefits and they feel that they're more important yeah when romaine that's very good vanities so to get feel important and needed yeah i think there's something there it's possible okay okay mahi very good so mahi says it's the only option yeah it's very true that's how valuable it really is to companies right is they don't even give you another option they say either give us your personal information or you cannot use this product sure that's absolutely true i've seen that in many many places okay what's another good question to ask so giving good answers giving good tasks to responses writing good tasks two essays really does come down to asking good questions okay beck john says to have updates okay so to get updates on products and information okay all right what's the next question that we can ask so what is another good question okay what would be another good question to ask here so you're not paying with cash you're not paying with money keep this in mind um oh it's not how because we have a good idea of that we talked about you know giving up our email or our geo location and they can access our gallery our video footage and lots of other information rajiv says what are the negative sides of paying through personal information i think that's tricky rajvir i think there's a better way to ask that question so whenever you're in a an economic exchange with another entity whether it's you in a business a business in a business or two people you should always think about your side i'm giving my personal information like email address or access to my pictures and my videos um yeah so natalie that's the right question so natalie's saying well think about the other side why do they want it so if they say hey that's valuable for me i want that why do they want it why is that valuable for them right so that would be my next question because that will help me understand the advantages and disadvantages from my side the advantages seem like less money updates you know certain benefits but to understand the negatives i'd have to think about why am i able to do this why is my personal information valuable to them okay so why do companies want my personal information instead of money right so another way to say that is what's in it for them okay yeah so why would why would they take my personal information over five bucks in fact a lot of companies are hoping that you're gonna click i'll share my personal information instead of saying i'll give you five bucks okay you think that you're getting the better deal by oh i just saved five bucks a month and i gave them my personal information but they're actually the ones getting the better deal that's why they're big companies okay so why okay uh so muksud says um to uh send ads um and lure people to buy products okay so marketing there's more than just marketing that's just the tip of the iceberg okay for marketing and promotions anybody else have any ideas of why there we go back john very nice so beck john nailed that one key word that i was hoping some of you would come up with to manipulate to have the power to manipulate the user absolutely if i have lots of information about you what color you like where you go shopping what kind of foods you eat who your friends are if i have all of that information i can slowly but surely and effectively manipulate you okay what can i manipulate yeah carolina and i can sell it to third parties but at the end of the day i can manipulate you right so i can influence your behavior i can actually have an effect on your behavior on your personality in the long run don't think today tomorrow think years and years okay so i can manipulate the person that you are your behaviors your wishes your desires your needs okay so i can actually manipulate that all right um and by manipulating that what am i actually manipulating so i'm manipulating your personality right your wishes and what else think of these big remember students always said think of the big ideas right so think of the the global ideas okay so manipulating our choices pavon absolutely it's a nice word okay so well it's not a nice idea but it's a nice word to come up with our preferences your lifestyle absolutely okay the more information i have about you the more power i have to manipulate your choices your lifestyle and what else what's one other point that i'm manipulating what do people often exchange for money think about that so what do we often exchange for money so what do we give for money right somebody pays us many of us have a boss that gives us there we go romaine we that we give our time for money right many of us go to an office at 9 00 a.m work until 5 p.m we give eight hours a day we get paid per hour so we're giving our time and our energy for money right so um what can people manipulate or companies with our business we can manipulate our time right so at the end of the day money is just a tool right so um why do companies want personal information not just to lure you and sell their products that's part of it sure but it's also to have the power to manipulate the user to manipulate your personality your wishes your choices your time your energy of course maybe in large part for this purpose for you to buy services and products but of course for any other purpose that they suddenly might feel the need to do so okay so romaine says our attention romaine your attention is your time right your attention is in large part your time okay great i bet that most of you can now come up with a good thesis so this is kind of the formulation and these are general truths that most people would agree with if they thought about this question from a lot of perspectives from details they're not giving you uh the services because uh they're so benevolent they also need to survive and live right so there's definitely very clear reasons and these are most of them so come up with the thesis statement okay so come up with your thesis statement here i would like to see what you come up with i don't want to give you more uh tips and i'll give you a little bit of a head start remember the original question when you're coming up with your thesis so the original question is it is common these days to pay for services and products with personal information like email addresses and shopping locations especially online rather than money discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this and give your own opinion okay so i'm sure that now you will be able to produce uh an a class band 7 to band 9 thesis statement for your introduction that is going to be a winner for this task 2 essay okay i'm going to do the same quietly and then we'll do a little comparison all right so a good thesis is your key to a good argument to creating value for your reader and of course getting a high band score on the ielts and getting good grades in university and creating effective business okay in communication so here we go all right so that's my thesis statement i'm going to kind of just move it off screen and wait for yours okay becca says in my opinion the main advantages of providing personal information are getting discounts and updates while the disadvantages of this are manipulating and bothering i believe the latter is greater okay that works back john i don't know if bothering so i believe the the disadvantages of this are manipulating and influencing instead of bothering beijing i would use the word influencing influencing uh rajvir the benefits of paying for services and products through personal information are convenience and discounts and deficits of this phenomenon are manipulations of people's time and energy that's very good rajvir i believe that the disadvantages are more than the advantages yeah very good rajvir so you have a little bit of a different take than beck john a little bit different than me but those are all original and good thesis statements whether uh we go with yours rajvir or yours baek john i think we can easily put together a band 8 band 9 essay muksuit says although the drawbacks of paying online with locations of shopping centers are manipulating and promoting i believe that the benefits such as convenience are greater okay so you're taking the opposite argument muksud which is possible in this case sure why not as long as you can clearly explain that you don't need location of shopping centers just personal information so don't get into too much details in the thesis okay your your focus is on the argument not the details pavan says the merit of providing personal data for goods are convenience and savings while the demerits are manipulating choices in time i believe the latter is better i think what you mean to say pavan is i think the latter is more costly okay one more time i believe the latter is more costly or is more expensive okay which is often true sami says though there are advantages of giving individual personal data and getting products the disadvantages are more than that of the advantages i like the way uh people may lose personal data and be manipulated okay sammy your ideas are okay it's a little bit wordy you have a lot of what seems to be word repetition advantages advantages giving getting get you want to simplify that even though they're a little bit different those words sammy it just seems like there's a lot of redundance there okay amrita says although it is arguably the best way to pay through personal data in order to be updated with technology and get offers by numerous companies there are still some threats okay amarita you're on the right path just keep your thoughts simple okay say it in a simple way but i think you're on the right path hassan says although selling personal data can provide a good discount and free services at some point i believe that the dark side of this trend is that people can be manipulated easily and lose their time and energy hassan that's a really nice thesis i love how there's a lot of you in that thesis so it's a very good argument it's worded really well hassan it's a fantastic wording okay professional readers love that type of writing where you have an objective sound argument yet still a very strong subjective voice or diction style that's beautiful okay oh it says although it is a great idea that people can get goods and services by providing personal information they can save money and energy but still this way is a scam and may be risky okay oh as careful with the word scam you can work with it just be careful you know where you're going with it okay all right um here we go so this is what i wrote kind of similar to what some of you wrote the benefits of exchanging personal data for goods and services uh are monetary savings monetary savings means that you save money and up-to-date information okay so i have that adjective noun adjective noun however the deficits are a loss of time and identity so losing time and here instead of saying being manipulated i'm saying that people lose their identity start losing who they truly are because they're being manipulated okay so you can think of the word manipulation as a loss of identity i personally believe and i just broke it into two sentences why not i personally believe that it is better to pay with money and keep private information private whenever possible so that's my personal opinion as i think muksud said sometimes there's no other choice to use a service you have to give your personal information right so yeah okay in those cases if i have to use that service and i need to give it then i'll give it but whenever possible i'll pay that couple of dollars and protect my private information an idea right okay uh so members we're going to pick this up tomorrow for tomorrow please complete your uh introductory paragraph okay so i'll leave uh the hook i'm sure you'll come up with something great for this so the hook and background for tomorrow uh so we can finish the essay okay um and uh that's where we'll pick it up in tomorrow's members chat class and now coming up in about 35 six minutes um we'll get into i believe it's a reading class i'll double check that but we'll get into a reading class where everybody will be able to sorry it's a speaking part one there we go it's a speaking part one class coming up so we'll get into some speaking practice for uh the next class okay speaking part one and i look forward to having all of you there thank you natalie that's precious you're very welcome hassan good good work with that thesis hassan that was an impressive thesis all right for everybody watching to learn the right thinking and techniques for ielts and for success aehelp.com for academic and glshelp.com for the general version of the test hopefully i will catch all of you in about 35 minutes for that speaking class much love to all of you i'm adrian signing out for now from budapest bye you

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Keywords: IELTS, Task 2, writing, essay, paragraphs, sentences, vocabulary, introduction paragraph, band 9, body paragraphs, conclusion, IELTS description, English examination, writing IELTS, writing for task two, second part of writing, writing strategies, IELTS task 2, Lesson, Teacher, Learn, Student, Lessons, Learning, Free, Intro, Tutorial, IELTS task 2 explain, IELTS task 2 learning, IELTS task 2 explanations, plan, planning, understand, skills, strategies

Id: NJK1J1Ywd2s

Length: 54min 34sec (3274 seconds)

Published: Thu Oct 29 2020