Mormons, or members of the Church of Jesus Christ of latter-day saints are a religious group who practice Mormonism. The origin of Mormonism dates back to the 1820s when Joseph Smith, the founder of the religion published the Book of Mormon Which he claimed he translated from ancient Egyptian writings on golden plates that an angel showed him in, Manchester, New York Membership and conversion rates have steadily grown over 1 percent year over year with over 16 million followers today in over 160 countries worldwide My name is Anthony Padilla And today I'm gonna be sitting down with former Mormons to learn the truth behind this controversial Religion's beliefs and why so many have chosen to abandon it altogether? Do these former Mormons or ex-Mos as they are commonly referred Hold this religion and it's practicing members in high regard to this day, or do they experience nothing but disdain? For the life, they dedicated to practicing a faith they currently hold in contempt Did these ex-Mos leave? Despite feeling a sense of family within the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints or were they made to feel shame and guilt surrounding their most natural inclinations Forcing them to flee and never look back Hello Kai! Hey Secily! What's up? oh oh oh Yes the secret handshake ! Yeah Yeah, thank you. Your'e Welcome. Thank you so much for coming out and teaching me about the wondrous world of ex-Mormonism Thanks for having me. What do you consider yourself? Former Mormon, ex-Mo ? Oh, definitely ex-mormon, but like we say ex-Mo in the little subreddit community, r slash ex-mormon But everybody calls each other ex-Mo. I just think I'm just me What does being a Mormon entail ? Because there's no gray in the orthodoxy, There are only good and bad Mormons. So, you're constantly trying to be a good Mormon So if I start going to the temple, Maybe you go on a mission, you get married in the temple, you have children, you pay your tithing, you go to church every Sunday... It's like if you went to church regularly in any other faith But multiplied the intensity of maybe by 5 or 10 It's like 10 times more intense ? Yeah, I think so because you're expected to conform so much. I think even people who are still in the faith Find it that way as well What was a typical day like when you were attending church Most Mormons have a family prayer in the morning, The kids go to school, Sometimes you have a bit of religious studying in home If you were found to have a pretty good voice, you're often drafted into the choir... Drafted ? Yeah, whether you liked it or not Oh So I have a pretty good singing voice, or I did, and So we go to that as well and by the time it was all done, it'd be like 6 p.m You know, you'd be exhausted. How long did you practice the Mormon religion ? Grand total practicing ? 23-24 years Didn't leave the church until a couple years ago Because I was just so upset about a certain policy that came out that I was not okay with. Well I was born into it and in my Teenage years I realized that I had an attraction to the same-sex, later figured out that's what you call being gay The Mormons call it same-sex attraction. Oh, really? They avoid the word gay Yeah, because they don't think that there's such a thing as being gay at least back in the day What made you feel inclined to leave the church? When I was at BYU You have to take a certain amount of religion courses and they took this world religion class and I was sitting there thinking How is nobody else putting this Jesus story as like Repeated before he even shows up so many times in history. So I started having the wheels spin in my brain I'm like this is... this is not just like the only true church so you're saying that because there are so many different religions with Jesus With the story of Jesus like virgin birth and Died for your sins... like, that idea predates Jesus So that started me to think about like... is the Jesus concept even really specifically true ? I realized that they were wrong about being gay Yeah This is when there was starting to be evidence that showed that it was something that was immutable in your personality I realized that being gay wasn't a bad thing. Yeah, and so I gradually left the faith because it just wasn't Suiting who I was anymore. And so I just go through life trying to live What they call in Hawaii the spirit of Aloha which is where you show love and Kindness to one another and basically help one another kind of the Golden Rule And that is more important to me than any religion ever would be. Right, and that's regardless of faith or orientation or gender Absolutely. So yeah, I think life is better lived with love Before we learn more about the wondrous world of Ex-Mormonism I want to point out that videos on YouTube are now Apparently being demonetised just for disgusting controversial issues For example, the ex cult members episode that I made was demonetized Manually a week after the video was released for no terrorism in the video. No catastrophic loss of life and, let's see, the only thing left then out of the reasons that they gave me for demonetizing the video is a controversial social issue and I can only guess that discussing something like religion, like we're doing in this video, will also Be considered a controversial Social topic by YouTube, therefore, it will potentially also get completely f***ed over by YouTube So basically your support for the series by continuing to subscribe and turn on notifications Is more important than ever if you want to continue seeing topics like this one discussed regardless of if YouTube's Advertisers decide for whatever reason they have that they don't want you to see the video That's all I wanted to say, now back to learning about the wondrous world of Ex-Mormonism Was it difficult to leave the church ? And what was that process like ? Of course, it's difficult to leave. Yeah. Yeah I mean, you know, I I had some backlash I was in the music community. I'm a musician I played with a lot of people that people know who they are I got letters from people kicking me out of bands because they found out I was gay and it was just Hard on that end of it, the homophobic part, and I would walk past the temple nightly Just wanting to jump in front of the car. Really ? Oh, yeah, I would... So you would see the temple and you would associate that way. Yeah with like : I'm not gonna be worthy If I do end up everywhere going to the temple It's because I marry a man and that's not gonna be something that I can do without feeling bad about myself Yeah And so : long-term damage. I went to the psych ward four different times Yeah, if you're not a suit wear and dress wear in person and you're there every Sunday, like you get judged hardcore So for me, it was like : either I'm this gay human being and I want to live this life but I'm going to hell or, I'm choosing who I am. Isn't that awful ? And I'm gonna go to hell so the either ways You're gonna go to hell I say hell, there's no real like, hell concept in the LDS Church It's a different kind of content. But yeah, it's a life or death situation. How has your life changed since leaving the church? It's like 180 degrees It's like night and day. Realizing that I can live my life based upon my own principles And what's right for me just makes me happy. Yeah, you get to live your truest life I'm not afraid of some sky daddy who's gonna go ahead and curse me if they need help Is that an offensive term ? Sky daddy ? I don't know ! I guess it depends on how you feel about it ! What do you think about the church's efforts in Rebranding a couple years ago where they decided that the term Mormon was no longer used for its members You're not supposed to say Mormon anymore Yeah, what are you supposed to say ? Members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints maybe ? Oh so they almost made it easier to say ! Yeah, it's like the Prince thing, formerly known as Mormons or something Yeah I think part of it has to do with trying to be more mainstream Yeah And saying that you are part of the Church of Jesus Christ Sounds a lot more like a Christian faith than saying that you're a Mormon. Mormons do consider themselves Christian, but a lot of non-Mormons feel that they're not Right, you you feel like there might be a negative stigma surrounding the word mormon And as as the Mormon Church tries to Mainstream itself a bit more. I think that's going towards it, you know it's calling themselves something different Do you think some people watching are gonna be offended by using the word Mormon in this ? I think most of them are used the term So much. And I think that there's a lot of nostalgia for it Right But they're more than willing to go along with President Nelson and do what he says because they believe That President Nelson is God's prophet on Earth And then does that mean President Nelson is Communicating with God and that's why he's changing the term ? Just like the Pope supposedly does When I announced this video many current members of Mormon faith were worried that this video would paint all Mormons or Mormonism in general in a very negative light, do you think that's the case ? I think everyone's experience is different But for me, I know there's a lot of good Mormons out there For example, there is a huge issue still with Mormon kids who are LGBTQ getting kicked out of their homes Yeah There's this group of wonderful Mormon mothers who are very devout, you know believed in their faith but they also believed that these kids needed help and so they formed a group called the Mama Dragons and what they do is They swoop in and they rescue these kids who are kicked out of their homes And so they make sure that these kids are alright and they give them a place to stay And when they turn 18 they help them find their way. There's plenty of really good Mormons out there I think a lot of them often will still attend church because they want to kind of be part of the community And they like the service opportunities that the church gives them I think there's a lot of good Mormons out there and a lot of them keeping their faith because of tradition or maybe because they're Are apprehensive about leaving because of the reaction they'll get, but there's lots of good Mormons out there Are you nervous at all about showing your face on camera and speaking about this ? 100% And why are you nervous? I've never been this forthright. I've posted little things here and there But I have family members that will No doubt Have a pang in their heart when they see this Just as much as when I was Mormon and I saw a family member stop going to church I just felt so sad for them. Do you think they're just gonna feel sad internally or do you think they might disown you ? I think I'm past being disowned... I dropped enough bricks off for them to trip on it, I think They're past it. They love my wife Kate. She's badass. And so I kind of won on that one. Hello No, I'm not I know that Where I am in my life is the right place for me to be. And again I try to operate from a source of love And so I don't mean any of these things to be rude to anybody. Or to be mean How do you feel about the way Mormonism has been depicted in pop culture ? The South Park episode is very true to like the actual teachings of Mormonism. So it is factual ? That's what that's- you get a little dicey there cuz yeah, it really does seem like a parody Those guys got it pretty spot-on. It's sarcastic. Sure. Yeah yeah, and in fact I know Mormons who even laugh at it because they are they are able to laugh at themselves Many people have associated their time with Mormonism with Cults. Did you experience personally any cult-like behavior while you were there ? That is the Question of the century because everybody that's in the xml community wants to call it a cult. And I watched your cult video I lost my family, my future, my childhood, my sense of self. Oh, no, we are not doing that stuff. First of all, my answer may offend some current Mormons Okay, okay But there are certain aspects of Mormonism that are somewhat cult-like Like culturally speaking. A lot of times people who leave are shunned and that is a cult-like behavior The intensity behind having to live the commandments of the church is there, Having a supreme Leader is also somewhat cult-like and that would be the Mormon prophet So... Yes, but at the same time no, because it's not even close to actual real cults What was your most bizarre experience while practicing ? I'm at BYU I get my first secret girlfriend and I decide to come back to church and the bishop decides to sit down with me I'm sitting in his office and he's like making sure like, okay, what do we have to do to get you back to church ? He could tell his little notepad and he starts tallying my sins. How many times did you drink ? Okay, how many times did you smoke marijuana ? And I'm thinking like, I don't know. I don't keep track So then this is the bizarre part he goes : Okay, so you had a girlfriend. Did you Stimulate her clitoris with toys Well, is that, is that a sin in the Bible specifically ? I think he was just very curious. Let's be real. Nobody asks that question. That's just bizarre That's just for him. Thank you that's the real thing If there's anyone watching who currently is a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints and they feel like maybe their ideologies or their beliefs don't exactly align with The church's beliefs. Is there anything that you'd want to say to them ? You have to take a Assessment of where you are. What is going to be the fallout amongst your local Mormon community? Do you have sufficient friends outside of Mormonism that you can rely on to be your support system after you leave ? Go to CES letter .com and get more in-depth analysis and Start to recognize that your shelf might be breaking But it's okay to break your shelf. And what do your friends and family think about you no longer being Part of the Mormon community. Yeah, my family is very conservative and very strict and very devout We're now for the fact that I was already an adult when I was outed at Christmas time. You were outed ? Yeah by one of my brothers When I was 34. I would have been likely kicked out of my home too if I was a teenager They've Since come up with other reasons why they feel like they can't communicate with me But I try to write them a letter every so often and say that the door is always open If they want to meet with me and maybe bring in their pastor as a mediator I'm happy to do that If one of your family members who you haven't spoken to in a while ends up watching this Is there anything that you'd want to say to them? I'd be happy to talk about things and to work it out and to see we can find some common ground Because I believe in love first and ask questions later And just try to be a family again Or be a complete family again. I hope one of them watches this and gets that message. I'd like that very much I actually have a parting gift for you : the best interviewer shirt that you could get at Padildoshop.com I love it ! I give it to you for free ! Do you mind saying the name of that again ? It's like my last name Padilla pronounced wrong : Padildo No, not pronounced wrong, pronounced pretty cool. I'm liking it Honey, did you hear that? All right You got five seconds to shout-out or promote anything you want directly in the camera, go ! My wife and I's band and CESletter.com if you're questioning the Church Contact me on Instagram, I'm @the.kai.creative And i'm happy to answer any questions you have Thank you so much for teaching me a little bit more about the wondrous world of - oh god ! Oh, I shouldn't have said that my word, my word, Heavenly Father Are you giving us more signs ?! After spending the day with these ex-mormons, I've come to realize just how important it is to Always question if our beliefs make us and those around us most happy and content with our short time on this planet. In a society that encourages Acceptance of others, shouldn't we be doing everything in our power to show compassion and empathy for those we interact with ? Regardless of their personal lifestyles ? See you later, bye guys ! Press a like Well, for example there used to be Mormon.org Yes And when President Nelson announced the change he The powers-that-be changed it to ComeOnToChrist.org Ooh, I don't like the sound of that Well come onto Christ means you'll be gathered by him. I know where your mind's going !
Wow! Crazy! Blast from my past.
I dated Kai, many years ago when he still went by the name his parents gave him, and long before he came out of the closet.
I’ll also say, I was a Mormon and return missionary myself. Such a difference between having supportive family and a non-supportive family. I came out about 22/23. He didn’t come out until 34.
My heart goes out to Kai. His family was truly awful to him - save his grandmother. I met her and she was very cool. His Dad/MomSiblings, however, donated +$30K to the anti-gay- marriage bill in California. The shunned him and turned him away. Interesting understand why he had to shed even his given name, and rebirth himself anew.
I’m not saying we, as a couple, didn’t have other issues to overcome - and as you can see we were not successful. I look back and it is so evident the difference a supportive family, verses not, gives LGBTQ kids & young adults.
I put 85% of this on his Mormon family. They did not have a Christ-like love for their son/brother. It is such a mind-fuck to be true to yourself when all the other people you look up to are telling you it is wrong, you are wrong, just don’t have the spiritual stamina to overcome your sinful desires.
On the surface there are some great tenants to the Mormon church. Family is very important. Community. But these are also the things that are weaponized against anyone who doesn’t conform and follow the group. Being shunned, excommunicated is incredibly harsh and damaging to your sense of self, love and self-esteem.
I left back then because I didn’t see any path forward staying in the church. I also saw no way to change their doctrine or hearts. I don’t believe you should FORCE anyone to change. It has to come from within.
But now, after finding Exmo Reddit group, seeing the wealth of information showing all the deceit, lies, coverups and altered history of the Mormon church. The internet has opened my eyes to the harm and lies they perpetuate. It makes me ill. I want to scream it from the rooftops. But again, you can’t force people to change. They need to do it themselves, at their own pace, whatever that is for them if it is really going to take hold and they are going to weather the storm.
On my main account, I joined about a year ago. The group has been growing at nearly 2K new members per month and the growth seems to be exponential. The wave is coming. Not only for the Mormons, but Scientologists, Jehovah’s Witnesses, Catholics and Evangelicals. They can’t do horrible things in the name of God.
Watching the video of Kia. I heard the same quiver of pain in his voice I did many years ago. However, rather than bind him it has propelled him forward to speak his truth. He had to get his footing and strength. Now watch out.
I encourage any current or former Mormons struggling with their connection to the LDS Church, to join r/exmormons for support, read the CES Letter and Letter for my Wife dissertations. I hope like Kai, you all find strength to be your true self.
Great to see people get their stories out there in a more main stream fashion, be great to see peoples stories who left for other reasons outside of sexuality
Hi y’all! This is Secily! That was a really fun and anxious thing to do. I’m pretty dang happy with the final product and reception. I know I could have done better so I apologize if I misrepresented anything. I’m a lot more comfy behind a guitar, TBH. 😊
I'm here from the video...haha
Hugs to Kai 🥰🥰🥰🥰 This mama loves you!
😱 watching it now. Hopefully this causes more people to come here!
Oh wtf, I literally met him last November. He showed up where I worked the day before Thanksgiving. That's cool
Unpopular opinion, but I'm kind of upset that both interviewees were part of the LGBT community.
I say this because the people who have a hard time grasping why people leave religion are the type of people to think being gay is a sin people choose to be.
I can see my TBM self saying "well, these are just gay people with a bad experience" and put this on my shelf (the extent of my homophobia back in the day), but I can see devout TBMs saying "they are evil sinners! Being gay is a sin, no wonder they left! They can't see the truth anyways!" And discredit all of their experiences.
I genuinely hope I am looking too much into this. I hope I am wrong. I hope this video touched others, because for me personally it was a hard meh. Kind of underwhelming considering the other videos he has made so far.
(Then again how can anything compare to the Latter Day Lesbians Podcast and mormon stories that devout hours to one specific story)