Horrible Histories - Stupid Deaths | Compilation

[Music] stupid deaths stupid deaths they're funny cuz the truth stupid death stupid deaths of next time it's not you next name Francis Bacon year of death 16:26 profession philosopher and academic mmm I just put work-shy layabout method of death ah well I was journeying through the snow when suddenly I had a brilliant idea that by freezing food I could preserve it I was anxious to try out my theory as soon as possible so I went to a poor woman's house and bought a freshly gutted chicken I immediately stuffed it full of ice packing it inside and out and did it work oh yes yes yes yes the chicken was perfectly preserved hmm so why are you here ah well during the experiment I got very cold contracted pneumonia and died freezing a chicken Oh funny I do next [Music] stupid deaths stupid deaths they're funny cuz the truth stupid death stupid desk of next time it's not you next name Matthew web year of death 1883 profession professional swimmer I'll just put unemployed method of death well I was the first man to swim the English Channel in 1875 and I became quite the Victorian celebrity participating in exhibition swimming matches and floating in a tank of water for a hundred and twenty eight hours I even wrote a book the art of swimming hmmm so method of death water related perchance well I thought I'd go one better than swimming the channel so I I tried to swim across some Rapids mmm-hmm and where were these Rapids exactly underneath Niagara Falls Niagara Falls it wasn't pretty [Laughter] thank you stupid stupid deaths there funny cuz they're to stupid deaths [Music] [Music] yes [Music] [Laughter] [Laughter] [Music] I'm sorry can you check me in first place you have to wait your turn take a seat now that's just if I can't my bottom hurts oh okay okay right name open the second year of death ten sixteen eight a profession King King of England method of death well I died on the toilet Oh excellent I love a good toilet death story go on well I say toilet art or Saxon toilet Envoy sophisticated a little more than a pit in the ground yeah and unfortunately as I squatted over the toilet poop it yeah well it turns out there was a Viking hiding in it and he stabbed me twice from beneath with a dagger named pausanias year of death 470 BC professional sports in general Greek troublemaker method of death well I sort of fell out with my fellow Spartans so decided to betray them to the enemy but my letter to the other side was intercepted by the Spartans who sent troops to kill me as a traitor but I fled to the temple of Athena saying you can't lay a finger on me here I'm on sacred ground hmm and did the killers dare lay a finger on you no they did not they just bricked up the door and left me to starve to death [Laughter] you're dead funny I love my job sometimes I do I do max stupid death stupid that's they're funny cuz the truth stupid death stupid desk of next time it's not you next last name Aeschylus Europe death for fight 8 BC profession Greek playwright I'll just put Lodi down writer method of death well I was walking along minding my own business there was an eagle flying high in the sky above me it had just caught at or twice and was looking for a rock to drop it upon you know to crack it open so it could eat it washy and it saw my bald head shining in the Sun and restricted for a rock yes spat I was killed instantly what happened to the toe toes no it was fine [Laughter] [Music] fine works cut out did you hear my joke if it's very funny necks stupid deaths stupid deaths they're funny cuz that's stupid deaths too it's not you next name Sicard the mighty Sigurd stop year of death 892 ad profession Viking ruler of mighty Ordnung love a tiny island of Scotland method of death well we've I Kings had already conquered Orkney and we fancy some were a little bit bigger to conquer so we invaded mainland Scotland and defeated the Scots a pitch back I took the head of my sworn enemy oh no bright of Moray and strapped into my saddle as a sign of triumph charming unfortunately yes while I was riding home my leg brushed against the teeth of the severed head the wound went septic and I next and you bah bah and famous Victorian daredevil and stuntman stuntmen come through they always have the most stupid deaths come on then spill the beans well I was fearless there was nothing I wouldn't do so I decided to go over Niagara Falls in a barrel who died you idiot oh no no no I survived I had a few injuries but I made a full recovery mmm too soon so then I decided to swim the rapids at the Niagara whirlpool and then you died I bet you did you did didn't you no no no no I had to get rescued so then I tried it again Emily drowned no then I was rescued again and I got rescued the third time business ridiculous so I decided to go on a tour of the world and display my Niagara Falls barrel to the payin crowd I ended up in New Zealand and that's where I died by swimming over my leg angry you're through to the afterlife [Music] [Music] next captain stinky of the stinky people Heraclitus ancient Greek philosopher what I stink therefore I am so how did you die stinking TISS Heraclitus whatever well in my old age I developed an illness called dropsy which is where your body swells up with excess water but I did invent an original cure oh I can't oh this is gonna be good everybody knows that water evaporates when heated so I think if I just stay somewhere hot then the excess water would evaporate away and what's a ready source of heat fire the Sun another cow Dan yeah so I jumped into a big pile of cow dung and I buried myself up to my neck in it oh and fear but unfortunately I forgot to bring any water so I just got hotter and hotter injured and eventually died from heat exhaustion you will paint alive in a giant cow past your cure stinks and so do you stick it aside whatever you're through to the afterlife off you go Am I get out before I change my mind [Music] sometimes I love this job I do wanna dress yet no chance next and you are a tutor performer and entertainer ooh why not entertainer say how did you die well I was famous for my amazing act the great stab-proof man whoo I would stand before a live audience and plunge a dagger into my own chest and yet hmm welcome I wore a cleverly hidden stab proof vest so the knife never even touched me but it did puncture a concealed bag of animal blood giving the impression that I was bleeding how did you die for real well it was all going perfectly at the crowd were cheering the money was pouring in and I raised my Decker aloft and plunged it into my chest yes I'd forgotten to put on my stab proof vest I stab myself in the heart and I died I'll just confer with the judges mm-hmm oh shut up Louie yes that's two yeses you're through to the afterlife well done thank you thank you so it's very good with me sometimes I love this job well I do I [Music] stupid get stupid dead Stephanie cuz the true the stupidest stupidest perplexed time it's not you next and you are Humphrey to bow huh leader of the rebel army how did you die with great stupidity I hope when I was leading a rebellion against king edward ii my army was fighting here's at the Battle of bara bridge not stupid enough I was leading my troops across the wooden bridge the enemy was defending it fiercely almost sensible I decided to charge them head on and I was killing everything in my path battling them to the right fighting them to the left of me suddenly I felt a terrible agony in my in my bottom yes an enemy soldier hidden himself under the bridge and he shoved a pike right in my bottom that must have been a real pain in the neck don't you mean pain in the backside jewel I said no you said pay in the know do I should put you through to the afterlife off you trot thank you he got a real bum deal I should have said that when he was in the room hey we could have dinner he won't mind merged and you are my name is Clement Vallandigham Jana I'm a criminal lawyer well come on then entertain us with your death the stupider the better well sir I was an expert in criminal law and one day I was defending a man who was accused of shooting someone dead it's very interesting no I wanted to prove that the dead man had in fact accidentally shot itself now I was demonstrating this to my legal team drew out my pistol fell to my knees y'all know I did not realize my pistol was loaded oh we're all ears now I accidentally shot myself okay sorry sorry sorry that's that's not funny it's very serious should just consult with the judges on oh come on Lois get a sense of humor that's two yeses you're through to the afterlife well done thank you off you shoot next and you are soon after destined English army officer entertain me well I was showing off for my horse for the benefit of some lovely young ladies I fell off the horse I broke my leg it turned septic so I had to have it amputated and you bled to death you see I was given this rather wonderful wooden leg and I was able to return to the army and soon I found myself in a battle against Oliver Cromwell's army oh good how did it go not brilliantly I was captured and well I was beaten to death with my own wooden leg I bet you know it's a yes from me Arthur you're through to the afterlife besides what's the point in your legs yes max please do you are a businessman from London during the Blitz me let me just kill by bumpers a dove nice a bit more embarrassing than that actually hmm goody gumdrops do go on well one night I was on the train home from work during a black hair - blech yeah well to stop the German bombers from finding London every night they'd have a blackout no lights allowed Oh blackout oh I see or rather I don't keep up guys keep up do go on so there I was on the train home and suddenly the train came to a hole and I thought well this is my station so I'm tooling off the train and suddenly whoa fell 30 feet to my death it's very good but well turns out the train was just waiting on a railway bridge a new thought it was the platform it's priceless you had a one-way ticket straight down good I like it hmm yes I agree oh shut up Louie whoo who would have thought that well done you've got two yeses you're into the afterlife ah thank you can they enjoy the trip of chaser referring to the trip oh yeah yes and I liked him good smile kids love him [Music] stupid that stupid dad Stephanie cuz they're true stupid that's stupid desk Oh next time it's not you next so who might you be a Draco a Greek lawmaker and ruler of Athens move Greek lawmaker not the Draco the one who made pretty much any criminal offence punishable by death even stealing an apple the very same Oh brilliant can I have an autograph peace yes thank you ooh any chance of a kissy right now tell me about your stupid death come on when you see I was a very cruel ruler but also a popular one cruel but popular me too so a special show was put on in the Athenian Arena in my honor and I stepped out to soak up the praise of the crowd anyway the crowd to show their adoration began to shower me with their hats and cloaks yes and then more hats and cloaks and then more cloaks and more hats and more plugs I had so many hats and cloaks piled up on top of me i suffocated [Music] that's so funny I'm gasping for air oh good news Draco you're through to the afterlife thank you thank you so much [Music] stupid get stupid dead Stephanie cuz they're true the stupidest stupidest pub next time it's not you next hello i'm dear doris the hunchback you don't look much like a hunchback oh yes and that's why I'm here really no interesting I'm all ears entertain me well I'd been a hunchback for years so I'd given up all hope of any cure but then I met dr. Shockley's and he's a Greek medical expert and he said that he could fix my crooked spine whoa this sounds like it's gonna be good he told me to lie on my stomach and hold my breath and close my eyes and then he put three massive stones on my back when I open my eyes I was cured oh dear but unfortunately I was also dead by dr. Shockley's stones they crushed my spine Oh have you met my flatmate dear Doris flatmate get it Oh you're through to the afterlife Oh how do you know sometimes I do I really do next stupid deaths stupid deaths but next time it's not a straight welcome to Horrible Histories

Channel: Horrible Histories

Views: 1,024,877

Rating: 4.8641381 out of 5

Keywords: stupid deaths horrible histories, stupid deaths, horrible histories episodes in english, stupid deaths in history, horrible histories episodes, slimy stuarts, horrible histories, horrible histories full episodes, horrible history, horrible histories songs, awful egyptians, rotten romans, terrible tudors

Id: LlIe1Ixtgo0

Length: 25min 27sec (1527 seconds)

Published: Thu Sep 05 2019

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[u/BooshAC]

They’re funny cos they’re true!