He still wants you? | Talks With Tony

[Music] hey hey tony guys here popping in now just talks with tony and i used to do this and i'm getting back to it not sure how long these videos will be just depending on my time of the day and in some of them i may get to answer more than one question some of them i may just get to answer one question so bear with me i'm going to create a playlist so if you go to my main page and you click on playlist i'll create a playlist of talks with tony so that if you're into hearing questions and what have you and hearing the answer then you can listen to these now to submit a question you send it to inbox at tonygaskins.com i'll try to remember to put the email address in the description of the video um these right here i'll do a brief read over them before i do the videos if i can but for the most part i'm just kind of going as i'm reading it as i go and sometimes i read it for the first time but what i realized when i used to do it is sometimes not a good question so i'm trying to take a couple minutes and read them before now this question helped tony greetings from the netherlands i met this guy four year from the netherlands okay from the netherlands god bless you from america i met this guy four years ago he approached me but at that time i was in a relationship so i didn't entertain it he asked for my number but i didn't give my number but i told him my name and he found me on facebook i informed him that i was in a relationship so we cut things off when i became single broke up with my ex we started talking again we talked almost every day on the phone but at that time he was staying in a different country he is a professional football player now i don't know if you mean football like american football or you mean football like football soccer he wanted to fly me over a couple times but i was too scared at that time to fly over because i didn't want him to think that he could ask for that i stopped talking to him saying you wanna own a bike now i stopped talking to him don't really know why but think because i don't do long distance i think it's because i don't do long distance i got in a new relationship and blocked him again two three years ago he called me saying that he was back in the netherlands and that he wanted to make things work but i said that i was in a relationship a few months ago i broke up with my fiance because i realized that he wasn't my husband and i fell for the looks and he is a grown boy we have started talking again for two months and he says that i am his wife every time we talk he brings up marriage and kids and when i want to have them he said that if i said yes to him four years ago we already would have gotten married and maybe had a child i said maybe we need to take it slow because we just started talking he said that if i want to take it slow he is willing to take it slow but that he already knows that i am his wife and he doesn't need all this time i feel in my heart that he is my husband but i am scared what if this is his revenge because i turned him down and because i was in a relationship i am not a cheater p.s he calls me every day and i never got on my back is this a good sign or is he playing games my heart says he is serious help tony thanks tony hey god bless you now god bless you now on these letters you anonymous everybody anonymous there's a lot of people over there in netherlands and so don't nobody know who we're talking about here and now y'all hold on right quick let me take a look now see when you answer emails you gotta have your little coffin that right there you got to have your little call when you answer emails just make you feel sophisticated but no my wife just made this hell funny i forgot to drink before i got on here and i'm not really a coffee drinker so good thing i did not guzzle it down before i got on here it wasn't numb but this much in here because i'll be on hill stomach i can a fool but now listen to me you are in a tough situation with this because men do like to get revenge and a lot of times when you turn a man down he takes it personal now the thing with you what kind of gives you a little buffer may keep you a little safe is when you turn him down it was because you were in a relationship you didn't just turn him down because he's looks challenged you turned him down because you were in a relationship and then the other time you all was long distance you stopped talking to him so that sounds what this says is that you're not desperate for a man because you cut them off because y'all was long distance a lot of women they just want that husband they don't care if he lives on the moon they're going to be talking to him the other thing that this says to me is that you don't have no problem getting you a man and so you look the way this let me know you looked away or sound away or walked away or do something the way men over there like it to be done because you keep you a man and that also is not that common so but what that also means is that because you don't have a problem getting you a man that this professional football player who live in another country who likes you could have could want a notch in his belt to put a woman from the netherlands who look good on her bike and he has nothing else to do but to pursue you when he's in the netherlands because you may be the best thing going over there in the netherlands so understand that now y'all talking y'all talk every day and i see listen it is true that it does not take a man a long time to know if a woman can be his wife now a man bringing it up that fast that kinda is a red flag because although a man knows it we try not to tell a woman that we know it so understand that right there on commercial break all right now see one thing i hate one thing bother me and i might have that i read it's a it's a thing in your brain that you cannot stand the sound of chewing i don't like to see nobody take no sip or nothing and i don't like nobody be chewing around me do not chew around me and so i just had to oh i had to take commercial break get my old sweat now understand this when a man says that oh you could be my wife oh oh when you want to get married oh we want to have a kid now that right there is a red flag to me as a man because typically just play boys just gamers say say that stuff all right guys who playing games say that stuff because a man could know you his wife but he don't want to say that because he don't want to jump the gun because he don't want to mess with your emotions because he actually likes you see when a man don't necessarily all the way like you for the right reasons he may play with your emotions because he really don't care that much about your emotional that right there's a little red flag to me now it could be true it could be fake the way you find out is by consistency consistency so if he continue to call you every day for three months and it's been four years he's been chasing you now the problem with this here if he calling you three months six months every day y'all talking [Music] you got to stay off your back nah you said something here i thought i read that said he calls me every day and i never got on my back that's good you said this october 1st now for everybody that wrote me before october unfortunately i ain't going to be able to get to you send your email again see email again ain't going to be able to go way back because i'm looking at this right here unread messages i got 1 1384 unread messages in this inbox so look nine in a year if i do one of these a day a year 365 days this will take me more than three years to answer all these questions you see what i'm trying to tell you this the workload that we put on me so now that's why i'm gonna be trying to do two videos a day cause i'm trying to save the world and it's just too much work for me to get done all just going one at a time so understand that right now so now four years ago he approached you what i need you to understand here is that that's dangerous because a man may look at oh why you want me then he may get you he may conquer you and then he may get tired of you because he used to you so your best bet in this situation is to stay off your bike let him put up or shut up let him show you what he mean let him show you that he's serious by living what he preaching by showing you that he want to be with you and making it serious let him go get a rain let him go get on one knee and do not rush it you need to take at least 12 months you need at least 12 months in a situation like this right here because that 12 months will allow you to see if he crazy that 12 months will allow you to see if he going broke because you say pro footballer nah i don't know what kind of pro football he playing but it's a lot of leagues out there tonight and you could be broke busted and disgusted and playing as a professional there's leagues out there where people getting 1200 a month under the poverty line but they playing pro oh yeah so i need to know what team he own and what football this is football with your feet or football with the pig skin like we play in america that's going to tell me where his money at and that's going to tell me also i would need to know how old he is if he's getting older and he about to be done playing and he needed a fallback he needed a woman that could you know hold him down over there he could use the fact that he play over there they're gonna get into some business so understand that right there now i would say if you give this 12 months consistent talking and you stay off your back you should know if he's serious and if he talking about he already know you're his wife and he want to have children then he should not have a problem waiting but listen to me listen to me now in this right here you have to pay attention to what he's not saying you gotta pay attention to see if he have attitude problems if he like to snap sometimes six months eight months six months to nine months in if he got attitude problem they'll start to surface pay very close attention even if you have not slept with him if he has attitude problem you got to go you got to go hear me listen what i'm telling you so you watching everything around just y'all not sleeping together you watching everything else around that to make sure that he thorough to make sure that he's a good guy now this is the thing every man is flawed in some kind of way or another but some men know how to act some men know how to act a lot better than other men some men could play a role for a year two years three years about the max that a man could play a role so you got to be very careful and you got to pay close attention and if you pay close attention now not on the flip side if you play close attention you're going to see what you need to see but the question you need to ask yourself is why you say i stopped talking to him don't really know why but i think it's because i don't do long distance i got in a new relationship and blocked him again you know you don't like him you don't think he looked that good you don't think he you don't think he looked that good you didn't really feel like he was your husband but now but see what you are you are hopeless romantic because you was in one relationship that you was in and so you took you told him don't deal with you he asked you for your number you didn't give him your number but you told him your name why you told him your name if you in a relationship you ain't got no name you're in a relationship a man come up to you and you're i'm excuse me i'm in a relationship thank you bye no no i just want to know your name jane doe bye thank you you ain't got no name so you gave him your name so see you romantic you romanticized you like to look round for love all right then got on facebook you let them know that you was in a relationship so y'all cut things off why you even let it get to facebook why you accept the friend request why you accepting the message why you respond to the message that right there is emotional cheating some i don't i am not a cheetah yes yeah emotional cheater you're emotional cheater all right let's be honest with this thing now okay then when you say when i became single broke up with your ex we started talking again how did y'all start talking did he see your relationship status changed was he already writing you did you write him hey i'm single looking to mingle looking for a rebound are you willing to be ready to be a rebound we talked almost every day on the phone but at that time he was staying in a different country he was a professional football player he wanted to fly me over a couple times but i was too scared at that time to fly over because i didn't want him to think he could ask for that's not a good reason not to fly over so what's another reason because you could have stayed in your own hotel you could have stayed in your own hotel you could stay in your own room you didn't want to make that trip because you didn't feel husband vibes from him see when you feel like you met the love of your life oh you doing hurdles over the moon for the love of your life a little flight what's a flight for the love of your life what's going to another country that's anxiety that's exotic going to another country for a pro football player oh child get flu that that's exotic you want to do that because you didn't feel that was your husband you ain't get husband far from so then what you did i stopped talking to him you cut the man off why you start talking to him the man didn't even do nothing wrong you ain't the man didn't do nothing wrong you cut him off because he said you don't do long this not look love transcends time love covers all distance so if you felt this was your husband that long this is when the matter you cut him off because you wanted something in the here and now so here is the real situation right here the real situation right here is this ain't your husband that's the real situation because see not that too lonely not that you didn't went through two breakups two serious breakups you like all right maybe third time with charm i'm tired of going through breakups but you left this man twice you didn't cut this man off two times because of another relationship so that mean he was not your husband he didn't feel like he was your husband because if he felt like he was your husband you broke up with the man you when you met him you'd been like oh i've been wasting time with the wrong one i just met my husband i'm gonna go and watch my hand with the relationship and then when y'all talking along this you'd have been flying over there he wanted to fly you over that you've been flying over there oh yeah i need a little time off my boyfriend plays professional football in another country look couple days off bye oh women be hopping over planes quick when they believe this man got husband potential you didn't want to do that all right now we could say oh you're not desperate oh you classy oh you're not thirsty but that ain't got nothing to do with it when it's real love cause love is not thirst love is not desperation you could take a flight you see what i mean and be classy you still could be classy and be in first class why are you classy going to see him especially if he paying for the flight in your hotel room you didn't want to go for other reasons all right let's talk about it now and then you got into another relationship and so two three years ago he called you back using another relationship a few months ago you broke up with your fiance because i realized that wasn't my husband and i fell for the looks and he is a grown boy okay so now you breaking up with me but you went with a man for the looks now you admit that you fell for the looks that hit a grown boy but say you gotta adjust your heart you got to adjust your heart why you went with a man for his looks and why you didn't kick this guy you talking to now why you to kick him to the curb two times see he remember that so he gonna start to question himself like am i ugly am i looks challenged do i look like the back of a 67 ford buick um why does she do me like that okay so now she want me because don't nobody else want her now because she didn't have failed relationships all the time and i'm still here this is how you looking at you why are you taking a nap uh-huh so now she want me cause john didn't want him frank didn't want her now she want me um is it more money [Music] is it my luck's not all of a sudden all of a sudden i look good until now um so see this high man thing because see men don't like to give ourselves the benefit of doubt men very hard on themselves so he gonna beat himself up and he's gonna be wondering and depending on what he's telling himself if he tell himself that you think he'll come up and that you're only dealing with him because you're lonely because the men that you wanted that you wanted to work out didn't work out for you so now he yo sloppy thirds if he tell himself that he believes that he gonna dog you out he's gonna dog yacht now see this what i say as a rule of thumb if you deal with somebody and you don't want them keep that same energy keep that same energy don't change your energy up now cause you single cause you went through a traumatic breakup with your fiance because everybody knew you was engaged and now you had to break up so you was embarrassed so now you need your fall guy don't change your energy if you cut him off in the name of i don't do long distance that means that's not your husband so don't change that now because see this where this would hurt a lot of women and see this thing now that's what y'all don't understand about me what y'all don't understand about me is that a lot of men will fight for you and get you back but will cheat on you the entire relationship and never let you catch them never let you find out but he doing it to get back at you in his mind in his mind he is getting back at you got a bruise on my thigh moving the lockers up themselves i could kind of see a little color now through my color you know that brood bad if i could see the color cause i'm color so when you think about this here it is a risk and to minimize that risk what you're gonna have to do stay off your bike give it at least 12 months keep talking to him not listen i wouldn't say cut the man off again let him cut you off or let him cancel himself out for something he does don't cut the man off again after hearing this video and you cutting the man off again because now this man might become ted bundy and it got dropped three times i don't know how you gonna handle that getting dropped three times this man but i'm gonna tell you like right here if i'm chasing me a woman as a man and it take me three times to get her and on that third time i finally get her and she she wanna fall all in love oh for to give me some get back oh yeah i better give you some get back oh you want me the first two times oh you're gonna break up because we long this oh now you want me okay all right so what he might do to you once he gets you he might treat you like wham bam thank you man what i mean by that now he may get over it he may get over it but you can expect some get back and when i say get back i mean like put you on your bike and then get up and walk out get up and go back to his apartment get up and turn over and fall asleep don't hold you don't cuddle you just went down thank you man he might do that to you for a month two months three four times just get a little get back just say okay then what you get for not wanting me he might do something a little disrespectful to you y'all get married y'all get in that bedroom he might do something a little disrespectful to you in the bedroom you know what i mean might do something just that that he wouldn't that you don't necessarily do with no wife he might get out of hand just to say that's for not wanting me me and petty like that me and petty like that but if you can weather that storm and you feel like this your husband but see my thing is why you feel like this your husband now and you feel like he was your husband the last two times why you feel like this your husband now so you have to make sure that you're not operating from a place of desperation you have to make sure you ain't operating from a place of frustration because he ain't changed he's still the same guy he changed so high he your husband now but he won your husband then the last two times you see what i mean now the first time y'all didn't really talk but when it's your husband it's a feeling it ain't about conversation it's just it's aura it's everything that go into it it's aura it's a feeling like just a little bit of conversation you feel it you might just look at a man and you heard him say nothing and you know it's your husband that's that's that's how how that work right there sometimes so i'm a look for me i'm questioning you a little bit in here i'm just questioning your motives in here because i just can't i can't tell if if i know your hopeless romantic but i can't tell if you stuck up a little bit look arrogant or if if you got a little city girl in a little hot girl look gold digging in i can't tell nah it don't sound like because you're pro football player and you cut them off so typically you know a gold digger won't cut off no professional athlete even if he ain't making no money you think he's gonna climb the ranks so you sound like you're not desperate like you're not thirsty but at the same time it sounds like it disappeared after going through those two breakups and this guy's still there you really like hmm it's just my husband but me personally being a man and being a former athlete men are competitive men are competitive men don't like to lose and one area that we can dictate whether we lose or not is with a woman because we know if we beg enough if we plead enough if we chase enough eventually the woman gonna give in it's not like that in other stuff in life if you lose in that football game you're just gonna lose that football game no matter how much you beg that scorebird scoreboard to change scores you finna lose but with a woman we know we always could come back and win no matter what it looking like we know we could get us a win off a woman and so with that being the case that made me scared for you and me personally i would not deal with somebody who i look down on or that i cut off for my new reasons because i didn't feel they were my significant other that i didn't feel they were my spouse i wouldn't deal with that person later because i don't know what kind of resentment they coming in and then i got to remind myself and ask myself why did i not like this person enough last time to stay with them versus cutting them off because we was long distance so you got to evaluate your heart and ask yourself is this really your husband or is this a man of the hour a man of convenience and you can you calling him a husband because you're a hopeless romantic because you just was engaged to get married and had the divorce i mean had to break up with that man is he a place filler is he a rebound is he really your husband is he really yours tight your style yo steve's is he really right for you do you really want him or do you just want somebody so that you not alone those are the questions you have to ask yourself in this situation because that's the number one way not the number one way but one of the top ways women get hurt is by turning the man down over and over and then finally choosing to give him a chance and then so now she was the beautiful swan he was like the ugly duckling and then now the beautiful swan gives the ugly duckling uh opportunity and the ugly duckling get the swan start feeling himself start feeling like heel swan and start saying well if i could get this one that mean i could get that one that's one that's one so he start to wander off waddle off just pedaling to the next swan leaving you there because now he didn't got you he then broke you down he didn't stole your self-esteem and you feeling stuck like a duck in a truck about to get plucked so why are you stuck now he didn't took you the beautiful swan and made you feel like a ugly duckling now he didn't went from being the ugly duckling to being the beautiful swan the handsome swan and now he go find other beautiful swans and then you the beautiful swan feeling like a ugly duckling look at the other half decent looking swans and ask yourself why are these women better than me why do they look better than me why is he talking to them instead of me so instead of you remembering who you are you start to shrink you start to settle and now you start to compete with the other women who ain't even all the way swans you got to remember who you are you got to remember why you want him last time over some distance you got to remember why you cut him off all right and if he ain't your husband you got to go home about your business you got to move on about your life still just letting him feel that space and let him tell you he your husband what do your heart say and is your heart just saying what his mouth's saying is your heart repeating what his mouth is saying or do you truly believe that because if you truly believe that why you left from last time when you were completely single and could have built with him long distance built on a firm foundation of friendship then you made a move or he made a move so that y'all could have been married but you didn't feel that way about him last time but now that everything out the way you isolated you all by yourself now when you're in quarantine now you feeling like this your husband really i don't know i don't know you got to think about it hey god bless you this is a good stopping point in this hill video listen to it twice if you need to listen to it three times if you need to god bless you we'll talk soon

Channel: Tony Gaskins

Views: 73,498

Rating: 4.968082 out of 5

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Id: xg1OXLyHokE

Length: 30min 29sec (1829 seconds)

Published: Mon Oct 26 2020