Why he chose you | Grown-Boy University | Tony Gaskins

hey tony gaskins here popping in um don't have much time i wish i could go a whole hour but i got my my 1972 card they're warming up so i ain't got much time got to go gas it up tonight driving it tomorrow and uh so i got my 20 30 minutes but i wanted i i kept getting this question and this is a hard question to answer because women always get upset and take things personal when it may or may not be talking about you you may need a one-on-one coaching session to know if it's talking about you and now listen everybody is beautiful in the sight of the lord but beauty is in the eye of the beholder when the lord behold you you beautiful to somebody else you might be pretty somebody else you might be cute somebody else you might be fine somebody else you might be hot somebody else you might be decent somebody else you might be looks challenged different people view people differently so each of us is somebody cup of tea each of us is somebody couple castor oil each of us somebody hennessy you see what i mean so you can't really this is not a one-size-fits-all and a lot of times women ask you know why did the grown boy choose me what you got to realize is the grown boy wanna choose everybody he want to choose anybody he could choose the more important question which you may not be asking is why did i choose the grown boy why did i continue to stay after the grown boy chose me because he the grown boy wanna choose every single woman but he can only get so far with certain women and so what you have to develop is is instead of feeling like why me why me why me you have to define who am i what do i want what do i deserve now on average this on average okay it's on average all right google on average and see what that mean this may or may not be talking to you so on average a man a grown boy is looking at a woman gotta watch my time now is looking at a woman based on society's standard of beauty and here's what we understand as humans it's certain people like when i was growing up some women used to say to me you look like a player yeah i'm like what does a player look like you know how just do i got player written across my forehead now was she lying absolutely not i was slap dog so she was right you see how we could judge people you look like a quite the quiet girl you look like loose booty 901 you look like the church girl you look like the smart girl see in criminology they actually used to determine criminals based on bone structure oh you're john you're born too big you look like you like to kill see that civil lobe you're going to prison because the eyebrow bone is too big in criminology way back in the day they used to look at bone structure to determine who a criminal and who's not that's when i learned that people with a round face and big round eyes look more naive gullible or innocent people with sharper jaw structure don't look as innocent when you look at people you read them some people can read very keen some people really off now one thing about me i've always been pretty keen on reading people and i don't know what it is but i see a person and i see their whole life story and i know sometimes my wife be like well he hush i wish he hush but i'll see somebody on tv or i see somebody and i just say okay yeah he liked me and he liked the he liked to watch ga why nasty movies i could i could see it on he got he got that right there speared on oh yeah okay yeah he like women of other races but he got this woman of his same race as a cover-up but he actually liked this other and i just it just succumbed to me it like joseph interpreting a dream and i just in our and when i talk to my clients they'll say you know can you look at my picture and tell me what what i'm sending off and i tell them okay you're very loving but you also got your bad side is really bad and i just could look at them and i could see it and they said wow you just described me to a t guess what i'm not the only one that's like that and to be honest with you it's more so a gift or a curse that men have and so men read people in 0.5 seconds because see what you got to realize is a man was created also for hunting and for war and so you gotta be able to read and assess the situation whereas some women may be more unassuming a little more gullible and can give give people too much of a benefit of the doubt and so when a man looks at a woman you can't determine what he sees and you don't get to choose what he sees but what you get to choose is truly who you are and what you have to understand that we all are a window so if i'm doing something and i think i'm hiding it you can see right through it you can see right through what i'm doing if i come on here and i'm going live every single night you i ain't been able to shoot the last few days if i'm going live every single night you uh going through something he needs some donation like what's going on you gonna start to question some stuff you gonna start uh oh what's going on he find out the situation all right he's all on youtube a lot you're starting to question some stuff because you reading into it so see when a man when a man look at a woman he's looking based on societal beauty standards so you know we use celebrities and people in the media just because they public figures as examples and you have a look that could be famous in my very first book i talked about like the sicily tyson look and i talked about like the beyonce look and you know who else you got out there okay remember that later viola davis who else you got that care washington you know these different women right now society the media hollywood gave all them a job give all them a job so it's not really saying anything but when you look around and you see okay victoria secret runway models who are they using what's their height what's their weight you know different skin complexions but you look at a magazine the models the who on swimsuit edition on espn do they use all body types you know do they have you know a sigourney weaver in there or ashley graham in there i don't know these if i'm saying these names i don't know if i really know these names with a adrian lima and uh you know beyonce uh kerry hilson or whoever do they use all the different shades all the different sizes or do you see mostly one type of shape one type of height i remember when i used to look at modeling sites um it'll have a height requirement women had to be five nine back in the day women had to be five nine to be a runway model to be a model men had to be five eleven i bear i just missed the cut i wasn't on tippy toes hey now hold on i'm i barely missed the cut but what you have to realize is people judging you based on society's beauty standards so when a man looks at a woman he goes through a grown boy he goes through the checklist okay skin complexion height weight body shape body type uh smile skin texture skin health hair hair color hair length hair health fingernails toenails he he's going through a checklist and then what he's doing is he's comparing you based on society's standards the grown boy listen to me listen to me [Music] uh listen to me he comparing you based on society's standards so what the issue is i don't want to let my car run too long got that knife warming up called me don't ran off on me what the issue is is he assumes that for everything that you have that is outside of societal norms of beauty the beauty constructs that that has taken a ding in your s in your self-esteem and that you are insecure about that and i was talking to a client earlier today who you know she's a brown-skinned woman i don't know maybe my color shade or two darker i'm not sure but and when we were talking about how she fell in love with her complexion you know even though she grew up around all caucasian girls and i was talking to her about how so many brown skinned women take it personal when they see a man that's their color with a woman of another race or another complexion even and they internalize it and say oh i must not be good enough because all of these men and it's really not all of them it's just the ones that you highlighting because if you insecure about something your weight your skin complexion your height your race your smile your skin when you're insecure about something you notice it on everybody else when my teeth were crooked i ain't looking people in their eyes i just looking in their mouth let's see if they got what they got let me see they got one knee teeth hanging like i got i'm looking they mild i'm watching movies tv i ain't looking at nothing i'm missing all the action moves because i'm looking right at teeth trying to see who t crooked so i could feel oh oh hey i wanted to try to feel good so when we see somebody that's like us in the media we like yes okay yes all right man mate he 510 you watching the nba oh man 5 10 that mean i could have made if i would have just worked a little harder make you feel good you i'm watching the nba everybody over six foot i'm demoralized like man i'm scrub man hey lord why you gonna give me two more answers like you both love me and we take offense to that so what happened is in reality it does affect our self-esteem so a grown boy says okay she built like this society says this build is the best build so she most likely is insecure about her body and she feels less than and she feels that she doesn't have the same options as this woman who is shaped like this so she's going to put up with more she's going to give more of herself be and she's going to do more for a man because she doesn't have a plethora of options but this woman over here if she is who is being praised in the media she is going to have a line wrapped around the corner of men of potential suitors who want her hand in marriage so she's going to be much more picky and not as deep not this deep i got to turn the comments off but y'all going to be sensitive one thing i used to notice if i don't know how this is something i used to notice what i used to notice is that the quote-unquote pretty girls was broke was broker driving the little regular little little raggedy altima or a little raggedy uh toyota turtle and they got to roll down the window and stick that arm out the window now hey this ain't no holes on them or shirt not e these breathe holes because y'all you breathe hoe just how the shirt made oh tony had a hold on his shirt girl oh yeah all that all that youtube he came for no shirt no breathe holes under the under the shirt that's how the shirt made it lululemon this is a lululemon shirt and they got to reach their arm out the wonder and grab that handle pull the handle then get out then stick the hand back in there and roll the window up i mean open the door and roll the window up or they got to stick the leg out get that leg out the to the climb out because the door don't work and i just used to notice that and then i see a nice camera or a nice ultima nice maximum whistle with some 18s on it some 20s on it and the lady that'll get out would be outside of what america or the country or the world says is beautiful she may be built different she may have a different height just a different build a different look and what i was noticing is the women who thought they was pretty was being taken care of meaning they just grind they grind on average now when i say on average oh well i know i'm a tractor and i drive a knife card list i said on average i see it on average and so what i was noticing is that the other women who was getting overlooked they were about they grind they was on their ground they doing they going to medical uh building school they going to cosmetology school they going to rn school lpn school because they being overlooked so they're not distracted they just focusing and they grinding they becoming doctors lawyers pharmacists business owners and when you look at them america is not praising them or the world if you live in another uh country is not praising them i was seeing i saw a couple of millionaire women who were self-made through social media selling products that they got from overseas hair oil or makeup but their look on a lot of them their look is not highlighted and celebrated in their in america so they were overlooked but then once they get a bag they get that bag today name now they got a husband or a girlfriend but you take that million dollars a year off the table they husband or a wife did not want them you see what i'm saying so grown boys what they doing is they looking for the come up i had the video where i was talking about the rn money and then all the lpns got mad and it's like listen ain't nobody knocking your hustle ain't nobody putting you down all i'm saying is that a grown boy he going for what he has heard is where the money is god bless you you doing good you make more money than rns that's a lpn okay there you go a cookie he got you a cookie i'm like wow y'all mad about that see that's your problem right now you get mad but what a wrong it's like you trying to be picked misha oh i'm an lpn i mean my money already are in because i work more out than she do she work 40 hours i work eight hours so i make more than what she make so the growing boy need to want me to pick me grown boy cause i'm it's lvn i'm like wow like you ought to be happy like okay i'm gonna just keep my lp it's all the ay since the grown boy looking for rn cause that's what he think got the money go right ahead i'm gonna stay right over here at the lpn with my other little specialization and certification and i make more than rn but i'm gonna stay right over here under this title you see what i'm saying but see that's the thing a lot of women trying to get picked by a grown boy and a lot of women is not bringing just character to the table they trying to bring money to the table and they using the money to their advantage and so a lot of women is trying to buy a man he can afford sonic drive-thru you know sonics with all the flavorful drinks he can afford a sonic drive through but she um sonic i ain't had no song since the video game sunday hedgehog uh i'm no offense anything like this but i'll pay for it if i have to but i'm more of an ocean prime prime 112 type of woman papadills papadocs papados i'm more of that type of woman like elegant you know classy so now you got a grown girl got a grown woman who she buying the grown boy so the wrong what like oh i was going to treat i mean yo we going to sonic to get us a cherished sprite and a corn dog but all right you want to take me in there to get that chelan sea bass for 89 okay go right ahead you see what i'm saying so he looking at you and he judging you he's judging you and then he's trying to see if you're going to show him otherwise and i remember when i thought i was coming up on me something easy when i was i was young probably 14 15 and i remember trying to holler at a young lady because i thought i'm finna get my little easy get my ease one off because she didn't fit inside of the beauty standards so i thought she was gonna be happy that i was talking to her because she wasn't getting no attention and to my behest that's not no word but i just like it right there to my behest she was like she had a thick old tongue tiny i realized i really like i don't do that i don't get ain't me damn me i don't do that i was like you turning me down you seen the the the the girls at school that i could talk to and i'm trying to talk to you and i was just trying to come up just get my little practice in just give me a little practice and that's what grown boys do i was a grown boy that's why you see so many grown boys dating industry workers like skrill yes or all that only hands that's why they date them type of women because those women have been turned up for lack of a better term they've been turned over to a refereed mind so they are a little easier so they go to them to get a practice in to get they practice in mighty and slip up and get one on pregnant and and the young lady now she can get her 10k a month off the million now for the next 21 22 years so she's like okay thank you you just retired me from king of diamonds all right thank you you squirting it in now and she catching it right on there look got it look jimmy jr and she excited and so men they will try to pick and look and see and as a woman what you have to do is you got to know who you are because the somebody you beautiful there's somebody you look challenged that don't matter what the beholder eyes is beholding what matter is who you say you are okay all right let's get real i got to go for seven minutes hold my car don't be done cut off on all right yeah i got me 72 out there waiting on me and so what matters is what you say so he might come to you because you got money he might come to you because he thank you insecure he might come to you because you too tall you too short he think you got a little more weight on you he think you don't got enough weight on you i haven't seen recently here i've been seeing more and more women who you know backside look like this here [Music] and just got a look just got a little line just like a long bite i'm like lord do she eat but god bless all right lord god bless everybody built different law okay maybe she run cross country maybe she triathlete but i thought lord gave everybody at least look her back there just but god bless him god bless so a man it ain't just a man picking a woman who the lucha he might be picking one who what they used to call toothpick because she may be insecure like man i was sitting here oh my god i did 99 squats and i still ain't got no thighs i still ain't got no booty this time i looked bike at it i ain't can't i broke my neck trying to see and so she upset so a grown boy he gonna try different ones if you're white and you're in a black area he might feel that you're scared and you insecure he won't you because you're gonna put out he think you're gonna put out more you're gonna give mo cause you stick outs like a so thong if it's vice versa you blight and you in a white area around all white people he might pick you because he feel like you desperate you're gonna put out mode so you have to know who you are so when he come to try you you're not doing the most you're not desperate you're not trying to buy a man you ain't trying to whine and dying him you ain't trying to give to him if he ain't giving to you you ain't trying to win him like that you doing what you need to do you know who you are you know what you want you not bending over backwards you let him court you you let him show and prove that he is a grown man not a grown boy see understanding i understand this nah and he call a test he'll go a test and this is the test that a lot of people do not do a lot of people do not do this test me being a former matchmaker i learn what looks or attracted to what looks yes you have exceptions to the rule but on average certain on average this look likes this look this look likes this look on average you have exception to the rule where you gonna have a hedgehog dating a giraffe you're gonna have a lion dating a warthog you have certain you have exceptions to the rule but it's few and far in between what you have to do is go back to sixth to eighth grade ninth grade at the max because see some people already phenom at ninth grade and this don't count for you if you was rich you know well off and you showed it and people knew it it don't count because people back then wanted you for the wrong reason want to be your friend for the wrong reason you have to go back to look at the level of woman or the level of men that wanted you in the eighth grade you see what i'm saying that wanted you in the eighth grade and you got to remove money remove money remove status you see what i mean so you might can't do it with yourself but okay look at a 8th grade seal and an 8th grade heidi klum are they going to the 8th grade dance together look at a 8th grade jay-z and 8th grade beyonce are they going to the 8th grade dance together you see what i mean look at an eighth grade barack and an eighth grade michelle are they going to the eighth grade dance together see that's when you tell if the connection is authentic and pure because the way the human brain work the first component of a relationship is attraction so you're not going to have a lion that is going to be attracted to a squirrel the lion is going to be attracted to a lioness you see what i'm saying so when you re when you bring it back you able to see who is in an authentic situation now you can also look at the present because some people grow into themselves okay probably nobody wanted eighth grade cause you hadn't grown into your lips you hadn't grown into your nose you get you you were cursed with your daddy nose and he had a full set of nostrils and here you are with his little body big head and didn't know and see some people know i remember my husband homeboy nose was like this nose out here well in the eighth grade you rock oh i smell spaghetti for dinner next wednesday i had a home where i had a nose like this and they used to call them nostradamus hey boy what's cooking for next week hey no straight on so guess what at eighth grade that knows like this it's not gonna work but at 30 all right the nose fit his face no fitted face but now his daughter got his nose so she in the 8th grade smelling everything and her rest of her body don't fit her nose now when she 20 now she don't grow into a nose so this thing one size fit all it don't always work because who didn't want you in eighth grade might want you at 20 because you didn't roll it into yourself and grow it into them lips and the nose that will pass down to you from your daddy so you got to understand that but when you look at a couple and you look at your situation you gotta ask yourself okay how many people wanted me like this here how many people wanted me like this here who wanted me so it's like this right here the the girl who was praised by society it you know she would light skin with flat stomach breath bull green eyes long hair that's what you call that's what the industry the modeling industry called racially ambiguous because she can look black she can look hispanic she can look black and white she can look like a white woman with a real serious tan they can change her hair spray tan her or pale her out and she just crossed over there she could look asian she could look black and asian she could look mexican in black hispanic you know black she could look different things and so they used to like to use that look they would like to use that look in modeling because they say look if we use a a black person that's you know the color of this hat all of our white clientele is going to be upset and feel like these clothes is not for them if we use a white person that's the color this hill mouse all of our black clientele is going to feel like it's not for them but if we use somebody to color this hill sign they finna hit the asian the hispanic the black the white and so what happened is that became the look and it was we stamp we believe whatever the media portrays so we saw that as beauty when that person with that skin color was going through stuff in school talking about i feel like an oreo i remember a little boy about that color told me he feel like an oreo except he said i don't feel black enough for the blacks i don't feel white enough for the whites but guess what the model said come here you right enough for us get on right here in this ad so now he getting money so now the rest of us who too dark or too light we're looking at it like what uh you're getting all the money you're in the disney commercials you're in the nike commercial so i guess your skin color just deep skin color congratulations and so the rest of us we salty but then you got a month no well definitely use this color this y'all month february okay may we gonna use y'all so every night then everybody get their time in the sun but for the majority we saw a certain standard of what the world says is beautiful and then that's how we're judged so back in the day this the woman who looked like i would say laurie harvey that type of woman who looked like that right there who had which we don't know if she didn't got any work done but somebody who they get they stomach flat with a couple of abs and i coming to know who she was call my wife showed me she was like ain't she pretty i'm like nah nah this is set up oh why ain't she ain't she pretty she's she's beautiful i said no she look like look like cartoon character look like penny proud from the pit from the proud family that what you think look good i'm like you're not finna get me i'm not gonna be like oh ooh yeah oh man she looked good baby no look like penny proud look like a character to me get your phone you say i'm saying my wife tried to get me but i say this to say that's what society prays for whatever reason all the rappers all the singers fighting over who else they fighting over like that nobody so one thing i know is i say okay if if i go to my dms and people shooting they shot and if they look like that right now or like a victor secret model i think back to eighth grade what did they look like in eighth grade did that tight want me no that tight wanted and they was in eighth grade but they wanted to date the 12th grader they were fast they had legs open or they had a hand open and they wanted to date the dope boy the ones who so so for me if one of them came at me one of the victoria's secret models or one of these women that's being praised all in in in the media but for how they look you don't want me don't eat yeah get out my face you don't want me mm-hmm you wanted the dope boy because you want to have money you want to have outfits to come to school in an adult boy used to buy you 10 new outfits every semester and you come in school looking like you got money but you had to change clothes once you got to the school bathroom because you had to wear the clothes your mama bought you to school then you had to change back into your mama outfit that she bought you before you went home because you dating the dope way and your mama didn't know you were dating an 18 20 year old man when you were 13 years old so you get out my face get out my face don't don't come over here tonight cuz you see i went on tv then made a little bit of money and built a little brand new get on out of here this what i would say if i was a single person people not doing that they like the eu rappers i'm i'm uh i ain't gonna say them name because some of the rapper like to shoot but look at some of these rappers come on now and look at that baby mama come on now you look at this rapper and you look at it baby mom dude they look like they dated in the eighth grade absolutely not that woman wouldn't even look that man wait in eighth grade he was her teddy bear aydia ricky how you doing hey ricky let me have some money for lunch that's who he was hey this is my big brother ricky hey jamal don't be intimidated by ricky this you see how he look what ricky god ricky bigger than mine what you getting jealous of i'm a ricky this is like my little teddy bear they're like bro it's my brother that's what he was in eighth grade but nah he become an athlete nfl player he on that line that d-line same size just a bigger version of what he was in eighth grade now he got this whole petite kylie desired woman that's his wife that's his girl bro come on now now you know gun well that wasn't with you for that money come on now and that's what she been bought since 8th grade when she was dating the dope boys who was who then dropped out of school and was just selling drug 18 19 years old when she thirteen hey i went over my time y'all see how i be going i got to go but this year i try to explain a little bit because people getting their feelings because all of us is ugly okay looks challenged i'm gonna change that in somebody's eyes and so when something like this talking everybody think it's about them and some people don't think about them and it might be about them but they don't think about he ain't talking to me she looking bad he talking to me oh i look good and so to each their own but what you got to realize is this grown boy he choose you because of what he read on you he read gullible he read naive he read easy he read insecure he read one of those things and then you got to ask yourself is this true man i was a little gullible i was a lanai i was a little insecure i did let him get away with too much in the first six months i did ignore a lot of red flags you got to be honest with you and then you got to work on that you got to address that you got to fix that and when you do that that's when you on the right path and that's when even though a grown boy approaches you you can recognize him see him cut him off and say you got the wrong one baby i know that you say you got the right one baby you got the wrong one baby because i'm not what you thought yes i might be a shade darker than your video model but i do not hate myself i love myself i look good and yes i might be a couple extra pounds over or under but i look good you see what i'm saying you got to know who you are know what you bring to the table you got to allow him to court you so that you could see if he a grown man or a grown boy you got to watch his actions you got to let him take the first step to see if he wants you if he gonna pursue you or he chasing you or he wants you to chase him and cater to him and feed him and follow him around and be his dude girl you got to pay attention to that and that's what's going to let you know hey tony guys i don't went way too long my car probably stalled out out there god bless you we'll talk soon

Channel: Tony Gaskins

Views: 86,329

Rating: 4.9361081 out of 5

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Id: ayBx4fyMetU

Length: 40min 23sec (2423 seconds)

Published: Wed Sep 23 2020