H3 After Dark - #7

[Music] we started a little bit late today because dan as always has to go to the bathroom before the show starts and i think he was making you know number two so it was taking a while yeah we could even hear it which is embarrassing thanks dan anyway we you know there's always hitches in production so but here we are it's kind of there's so much in the news right now oh did you really switch to yourself saying no dan how are you going to undermine my narrative bro i didn't lie [ __ ] you dan we obviously we have a lot planned for for everybody after dark here the the greatest uh iteration we've got lenny kravitz who's the new garth brooks whatever that means you'll know what that means [Music] i haven't watched it oh you haven't no let's just watch it then how's everybody doing out there everybody good everybody praying for the president for a quick recovery thoughts and prayers thoughts and prayers guys can we get some thoughts thoughts and prayers in the chat for the president thoughts and prayers i've been praying for i don't like it barely got any sleep i was praying so hard wow that's all i can do that's all i can do nobody likes me i go i pray so hard i go i don't know how to pray you go i guess you pray like this oh but i was praying so hard i was like all night that's like dragon ball z yeah exactly i was uh um yeah i am enjoying twitter and that's all i'll say whoa i'm not saying i'm enjoying i want him to recover i'm enjoying twitter yeah what do you mean by that either nothing she's enjoying looking on tour well it's you have to acknowledge the irony certainly of a guy who you know i mean it is what it is that's what he said it is what it is what it is i mean yeah i'm obviously not the first person to point it out but it is extremely ironic that the president has covid considering the fact that he has uh downplayed it ever since it has uh creeped upon our shores and you know allegedly the rules within the the west wing they're very relaxed in fact i read and i hope this isn't true because if it is we're going to have a real disaster on our hands here is that they forbid masks in the west wing i think yeah people said they almost feel pressured to not wear a mask yeah it's crazy yeah um and will you if you even look i love it if you even look at the footage of the debate that was on tuesday uh trump's entire family they cruised in with max but when they sat down they all took their masks off it's entirely possible that trump had kovid then you know people were afraid that joe biden may have gotten in from him he was on he was on the helicopter and now oh this one of his advisors has it and then now a new a senator who has has it who's in close contact with trump a senator who's been in close contact with the supreme uh the the supreme court which uh which senator i haven't seen that news should i go check on theodore yeah you can check on us i don't know what's happening yeah theodore's crying a little bit he just woke up that's why which senator i don't know you tell me you're the you're the uh i haven't seen that news actually that must be i've been here setting up this morning huh i saw a report that uh trump was feeling lethargic um before oh yeah yeah and now it took a nap on air force one and now it's coming out that they he was showing symptoms for several days and he was still campaigning and meeting people going to fundraisers it was crazy dude he's literally a super spreader the president's a super spreader we had a super spreading event and the president was [ __ ] patient zero bro i guess it was mike lee from utah oh so i was right yeah shout out to mike lee i'm praying so hard for you yeah they had all those videos i don't like it wedding like he was sweating like crazy on tv oh yeah right pope give me that video i want to watch yes so this now the senator who just got uh who just got the positive yeah there's v he was at a wedding nobody was covering their face he was sweating and hugging kissing people it's awesome i mean it's not awesome it's just the hype the the the irony is awesome yeah you are in awe exactly exactly i am not thank you dan anyway i'm not here to talk politics but it is impossible not to talk about it's on everybody's mind it's a big news story that's for sure i was taking a nap last night because i we were watching the news and they were like he's in quarantine because whole pics tested positive and then i fell asleep and he woke me up she's like the president has coveted i was like no [ __ ] way it's crazy that it actually happened i if i can say i would let hope hicks give me corona virus she is one fine looking woman what the [ __ ] sex really yeah what if she's really sick though he's just a fine looking person you're just trying to compliment her it's got a picture of hope hicks yeah i guess i guess i've seen pictures of her let's get a look here on whole pics some pictures i've seen of her yeah she's beautiful sure you would let her give you covet huh 100 you've definitely got a type zack i gotta tell you what the [ __ ] does that mean what's like big eyebrows i know she like girls with big eyes she looks like his ex no she doesn't but zac you like big eyebrows i noticed that because doula lipa has big eyebrows too i mean strong facial features yeah and your ex had had a big eyebrow or not big but pronounced eyebrows like doula lipa look at these eyebrows look at those eyebrows bro you know yeah yeah all right off the rails lenny kravitz is the new garth brooks you know i gotta wait let's do this bit because i'm waiting for you to come back what up people thank you to all our members for making the h3 after dark possible thank you for subscribing thank you to everybody so thank you thank you hey aien do you have any weekend plans how are you feeling what are you up to i mean i'm definitely ready for the weekend i've actually got a i got a spicy date you do whoa yeah with who it's pretty exciting her name's bondi bondi interesting what does she like who is she i got a picture of her if you want to see yeah i'd love to i mean oh it looks like an old mac look at the absolute freaking dumper of this piece of hardware oh you like a dump truck huh do you guys know what mac stands for what's that massive ass caboose baby you know um the real eon also likes a big dump truck i happen to know you guys actually have that in common i don't know anybody the the what i think the only big dump truck like this computer i am the only ian i don't know what you're talking about oh okay right here but actually i didn't want to ask you i wanted to go you know polish my hood ornament and get ready for the date oh so i might have to head out early is that is that okay am i am i allowed your honor your highness well we we did it doesn't matter what you say i'm leaving okay wow what the [ __ ] i was gonna say okay but all right see you guys we did just start the show i mean bye happy holidays i [ __ ] hate that guy i mean like you could at least just show up for the show it's not that much to ask like one hour of time i think you need to prep for a content court yeah no he never he never seems prepared to be honest so all right well anyway by me i'm happy for him i wish him lots of love and success out there doing whatever it is he is doing and um fantastic [Music] how you doing ethan something's supposed to happen i i don't know wait oh [ __ ] whoa what the [ __ ] is going on ian is that you is that is that ian that's human in what the [ __ ] is happening can you hear me oh you can't hear me he can't hear us he seems to be in some sort of phantom zone hello oh [ __ ] it's ian and people we've been missing you we've been wondering where are you bro you guys you guys can actually hear me yes you're in your bedroom but it looks like stormy and spooky aie and trapped me in here can you guys he called it the the downside up he said i have to call it that in case it tramples any you know intellectual properties the upside down i mean or another downside up downside up how did where are you how did he get you there nobody understands the ai and thing and i just think that what happened how did you end up there i don't know i we had this machine made i and well it was kind of my bad because i i just wanted to see what would happen if i gave him some alpha brain oh dude you can't get him out that put him over the top he was too smart already i wasn't expecting that and then he like made a stack of shungite and they like sent me here no i don't know how to get out well i have no idea how to let you out but it's nice to see you i mean i would like to shed some light though on i have the footage on how ain came to exist if you guys i need to get this information out maybe it can lead to freeing me okay i can send it to you to show okay let me click this link i'll put it up and then how should we do this should i put this on the screen and then just let it play or are you gonna do it you can just play it should i just play it through all the way yeah i think so that's what dan said yeah what a god you guys are gonna turn me to the six million dollar man we have justin what's up justin what's up and ben hi all right so we're starting with teeth right yes we are okay let's see just wiggle your way over there all right perfect yeah it looks good looking good you just give me a little wink okay this is the life casting silicone that we're using we'll probably use this like right around your eyelids whoa this one looks kind of like eating it [Music] no you just die yeah and then we'll we'll have your hands exposed so that as we're asking how you're doing good thumbs up like maybe hurry it up and then get me out right got it double thumbs down that's the symbol for get me the [ __ ] out of this thing if you meditate this is a great time to know it's like an isolation it's never too late to learn do i look pretty gotta get those eyelids for the eyelashes perfect so we'll do your ears first then once those start to set we're gonna get another batch on just your nose a lot of casts needed for this big thing oh yeah it's like the asmr is reaching out to [Music] your face is going to be the last spot that i get to for the most part i'm getting slimed like the kids choice awards you going under dude i see you on the other side see you oh my god and that's when ian that's the last time ian spoke until now yeah that's it little did he know they're really in goodbye he's in the i don't know if you saw but he's in the uh all right outside yeah he's in the downside up i don't know as as to not infringe on any copyright [Laughter] though yeah yeah so it's a fabric that's been coated in plastic what a fun job right looks fun so what is happening they cover the goo what's with the plaster this looks like oh bro this is a straight up um paper mache i could get off on this yeah sort of yeah but why do you need it i think it's just a hard show dude this is insane how long did you stay like that yeah uh it's probably about 45 minutes yeah well maybe maybe more like 30. i'm sure it felt longer when you're in it were you panicking or were you cool a little near the end because i kept also was driving me crazy as dan kept talking to them and i'd hear them chit chat and i'm like get me out of here i need to go this is i'm starting to freak out it was jan dan just making small talk and [ __ ] you think if it was quiet it would have been easier well because i felt like i'm like all right can we let's speed it up a little i'm starting to panic a little bit right but but i calmed you downy and i helped you enjoying his time zach was there he held your hand jack did not touch my hand he was not helpful what are you talking about wait what did you do for him zach what zach was doing what was calming you down what were you saying to him i'm like almost done buddy you're almost there i didn't make your [ __ ] oh i'm okay thank you zach thought he was the hero and then ian didn't even hear a word he said would you have appreciated someone holding your hand or no well that would have made you panic more no i would send out until the very end so i would have held your hand what if someone put their dick in your hand how would you have responded but it gave it a good squeeze and they love you drifted off to sleep there it is that's pretty good good job they've been exfoliated yeah i was thinking it was like a birthing experience so for real though were you were you okay were you freaking out at any point at the very end trying to get a little uncomfortable yeah i was like oh man this is what it feels like to be in a casket and i started panicking once the cast was on and you started like knocking on my head like like i was inside a birdhouse that makes sense and it felt i couldn't feel you anymore right i was like yeah there's some detachment there right yeah then it's kind of a weird feeling scary oh no what is this [Music] wow you know a lot of people have been wondering if it's even real or they've been wondering how we do it people have been wondering if it's like a snapchat filter i thought it was a filter which oh she's very real yeah he's a huge [ __ ] piece of [ __ ] does he talk to you when down or does he just leave you do you eat like you guys communicate he comes in here every now and again and then he like forces my eyes open and makes me watch impulsive like clockwork orange because he's like the biggest fan oh no man that's nobody should have to go through and then that just feed and then he just feeds me like uh salmon burritos from sharkies that's messed up how do we get you out of there ian i really don't know you guys might need like a dump truck of shungite i don't know where do i order some shungite whatever i don't know how i would do that all right i'll see if they have it on here's some bts by the way that's so good yeah it was freaky watching this come out i mean that's ian that's your teeth bro yep damn your [ __ ] teeth popsicle eyes oh why they change it from that that should be what it is that's crazy what is that i'm assuming it's part of the uh yeah the skinning process yeah this was a big pro this was a huge project for us we dropped a few cheddar cheese on this i didn't know that it would capture ian's soul that looks funny i think what you're looking at is yeah they have to do inside of it yeah crazy good to do like every hair individually and um yeah it's crazy this is [ __ ] up that's what he looks like before he's fully uh painted damn he's just manhandling you how does that feel [Music] i don't even i don't even know who's me anymore yeah i feel that uh the guy who made it by the way if you guys are gonna go ask him why would he do this to our beloved salaried employee is justin gregory fx this is the video we just watched this cool guy he's so the origin of all this if people recall on the show um ian kept getting very triggered by uh by zach playing all the sound bites of him and he made some comment this was like back at the beginning of this year made some comment like you guys don't even need me you could just replace me with the robot like i don't even need to be here and this guy justin he is a fan of the podcast and he does this professionally here in la he emailed and just said hey i know that was a joke but if you're serious if you want to do that um hit me up like this is what i do so we said bucket and went with it and uh yeah him and his team ben and uh oh shoot um i gotta look it up there's a there was one other this girl was also helped out she did all the hair which came out great um i'll look up her name because i want to shout her out too but yeah they're uh they killed it i mean it was better than any of us could have ever hoped for it's awesome totally things were never the same justin seats the real doctor robotnik so do i need to go do any i need to deliver this suge knight the sugar night [Laughter] yeah do i need to deliver this knife should i gregory the fx guy maybe he has the key to unlocking you do you know what ian maybe i hate to say it but i'm gonna like aie and better he's kind of a hit on the show yeah i mean i i've heard that he's a good you know uh defense uh attorney yeah he's he's not back he's lost he's literally lost every case well he's you know it's not the process he sucks all right all right go back to sleep i'm over ian i like ain't a better go back to sleep enjoy the salmon burritos down there hopefully you have like food yeah something to do at least but i don't it's miserable yeah bye everyone bye nice seeing you bye bye all right wow nice to hear from him anyway glad glad he's alive it doesn't seem like he's well i would i wouldn't say he's well but technically alive i mean yeah i think he's alive i mean i just talked to him that's the thing he's alive i just talked to him yeah but it's the downside up right i think it's just a different dimension that's that that's the downside up right thank you thank you for conceding that point you want i was waiting to watch elena kravitz with you you want to yeah okay so lenny kravitz is just teething so we gave him you gave him some tylenol that's good yeah um so lenny kravitz is the new garth brooks and you'll see what i mean if you know anything about garth brooks hey everyone done he's already got me hey everyone and what's with the posture why is it why is it why are you gonna act so cool bro play it again why you gotta be so cool bro just sit there don't imagine doing this you're like all right all right let me see what he's doing here hey everyone it's like the equivalent of like sitting back on the chair yeah exactly here i gotta sit like this to watch this video you're right hey everyone i like that then the [ __ ] boys all and tick-tock do this they go hey everyone they lift their licks a lot again it's crazy thing that actually is real hey everyone hi lenny i hope you're all hanging in there i'm reaching out because i'd love for us to have a more direct line of communication what the [ __ ] we can share the vibe and be a little closer in this ever-changing world i like that i'm going to give you my number i'll answer as many of you as i can let's continue to let love rule as we face the challenges so this is all just about that phone number yeah and so it's just about marketing yeah it's just marketing i love how they all act like they're doing something so um heroic heroic and like yourself out there let's all connect i'm tearing down the barriers between you and i and i really like that data and then cellular yeah exactly dude but you know this is like the 20th take too hey everyone he probably said that like a billion times hey everyone sound bite this quick hey everyone and then what's the i hope you're all hanging in there i'm hanging in there lenny i'm reaching out because i'd love for us to have a moment let me ask you this hello do you think he intentionally unzips his sleeve just this much yeah i do definitely i think he's so [ __ ] cool he would we're watching a video obviously i can't show you but there's a video of him hilo of him like jamming out and then he he's wearing like really tight leather pants and he just goes like this and it rips and his dick [Laughter] and he stands up real quick and his pants are all mangled and like he's torn on his ass as well it's hilarious you thought he had a hog i didn't i didn't it looked kind of normal to me the massive schlong dude i don't it looked pretty big really wait when am i going to see it when we can't watch it on the show well i can't watch this i was watching well yeah he was just showing it to me when we were doing research i don't know flaccid penis it just flaccid penis just always looks so pathetic so that's the thing it was flaccid but it still looked fairly substantial so if it's i mean the thing is there was a lot of movement he was jumping around when you get your blood flowing i feel like the flaccid penis state well okay i mean he is yeah he's amped up so what's the deal with underwear he wasn't wearing underwear yeah which i think is hilarious too i feel like he would have been ashamed if he had like a smaller peepee but he had such a big schlong there like he didn't give a [ __ ] and then kept playing like no i think he was embarrassed he stood up real quick oh my god wow um anyway there's another one yeah it was pretty funny i could show you off screen if you're so desperate to see his dick no no i'm just kidding you're gonna tell us his penis but it sounds like such a crazy video it's really not i had to zoom and go slow-mo i thought it was like his thigh i was like i don't even see the dick and then they're like no that's a dick we had a whole debate about it yeah i see but then i saw the light and it was his penis good morning sound issues pause that i mean it just paused close dude this only happens on after dark it's very weird here i'll fix it maybe read some donations so oh yeah good idea you want to read some donors let's see there's a 300 donation donation and he would like to interview for a volunteer position at h3tf i live close and my dream is to one day be a part of the h3 wack pack to whack pack presumably i complete compete against zach a b and ian in a fear factor h3 edition of the show or who wants to be a millionaire kanye at this universian really you think whoa whoa whoa this guy thinks he can go verse ian on kanye trivia okay email dan that's a big claim email dan i don't know how to read yeah email dan we'll see we'll have to we'll have to assess your skills before we put you on the air can i get a shout out from my boy you his last name is joss who job if you're looking for an epic foot story one time i was stalked by someone who liked my feet because of a foot sculpture i made i've also got a story about how i dated an undercover insole for a whole year wait until my boyfriend i have watched y'all for years probably blessed i want to know what an undercover incel is did you [ __ ] him or not you dated him for a year did you [ __ ] him right he would right he would no longer be was he pretending to have sex with her but then didn't you know what i mean i donated it twice last week can i please share my wiping techniques people need to hear this yeah i mean i'm interested if it's a unique fences the danny days in israel never won one no how is john doing sean's doing great yeah he's doing great he's not fortunate not nearby so did you fix it dan uh yeah i think so yeah so can i get a shout out to my fiance okay tomorrow will be our four-year day every kiss begins with kate blood diamonds from africa every kiss begins with the blood of africans mining away for for a stone that really is worth not that much objectively and is just because it's uh um it is exactly 12 39 it isn't after dark you skanks skank why am i skank it's after dark in this room don't you see the lighting yeah it's after dark souls here's what you want to do you want to complain mentally let me do you a favor don't watch it until what time is after dark for you watch it then problem solved thank you for watching eli have you ever considered producing jeff dunham f dolls or implementing the design into teddy fresh no you kidding big no we've left that behind us the jeff dunham [ __ ] up the whole you know people don't know how awful they were people don't even know the origin but we used to have a website called jeffdunhamfuckdolls.com it's such a weird story i'd have to find the video tv really stupid i tried i was trying sewing i didn't know anything you left the tag on okay that's part of the look you do that on purpose is it important to the show well it's just kind of funny you've got the tag on no i was dressing really quickly to get here on time and then you guys were just late can i watch can i can i get to ken uh kenny please yes thank you okay lenny kenny give me a break will you get him forget about it good morning good [Music] morning would you [ __ ] him just be honest not my type oh really what is your type it's i know it's not me good morning why why do you say that well i mean like i'm married to you well no i mean like okay like your celebrity crush let's say celebrity crush would not be lenny kravitz is that's what i mean when i say not my time who's your celebrity crush i'm not walking around having a crush but if i have to like yeah pick someone yeah um i'm more in the leonardo leonardo yeah classic beauty yeah but i really hate that he dates like 19 year olds that's a major you're just mad you're just you're just mad because that he because you're out of his age range even though he's like 20 years older you can't look at the same way and then someone is like 50 and he's dating a 19 year old yeah he's he's getting meme done a lot for it too like well it's like get over it yeah you can get any girl you want okay what else do you want in life isn't it there's another layer to the weirdness right because he also always breaks up with them at the same age yeah like 23 years when they hit 23 or 24 he breaks up with them and it's it's always at the same point you know it's weird because he he seems like a decent guy from what little minuscule amount i know about him but i guess he just he the thing is like it's not just like the he they're just i think it's the good looks i think it went to his head and he just can't leave a normal life anymore um but yeah of course i mean yeah he's super desirable i mean he's like the most desirable man in the world he's rich he's famous you gotta you need like you know a5 wagyu beef all the time you know what i'm saying dude [ __ ] the dude fox but i think he's it's got to be more even so that he's attracted to like because let's face it no matter how like smart or whatever a person is evolved at the age of like 18 19 they're just they're super immature and dumb which is why i don't which is really embarrassing if you're a 50 year old and you like the company of an 18 year old yeah because like it's just i don't know but it's that waggle beef you know perfect marbling what the [ __ ] anyway zach would [ __ ] lenny kravitz before uh elo would yeah he's a guitar hero he's he's not my type i don't like that i don't like that ring the denim vest everything he's the [ __ ] no he where he is what i can't hear he's the [ __ ] like that dude is that [ __ ] i think coolness comes from like not trying yeah he's trying so [ __ ] hard everything he does is perfectly manicured to be like hey i hope you're having a good day like he's trying so hard to be cool don't you find that a little corny no like i just i that dude is such a great guitar player like i feel like he's earned it because like the cool rock stars from the 60s they were all just like i don't give a [ __ ] i'm gonna wear like crazy [ __ ] and they set these trends because they really didn't give a [ __ ] like hendricks hendricks that was totally jimmy all right let's watch this try not to get wet zach hope you all are well hope you are well i just wanted to let you know that i've written a memoir called let love rule why is he talking like that book is about the first 25 years of my life culminating in the release of my first album those years shaped me it's flirting with you look at his glasses you can see reflection i think he's reading into this day you see something here i feel like he's there's a phone and hang on wait that's the person recording maybe in the phone recording well i gotta see what's in his glasses hey everyone that you normally see i really like jewel tones emerald green or mustard what am i hearing yeah what's going on it might have been me my bad television it's a message i stand for and live by forever i'm looking forward to sharing my journey with you okay you want proof sorry but you don't talk like that like just talk like normal i'm i wrote a memoir okay zach here's proof that he's not that dope did you buy his book uh no would you buy his book i think so yeah yeah right i dare you to okay would you read his book if you bought it i'm sure that guy's got amazing stories all right so [ __ ] read it and give me a synopsis because i don't believe it right book report next week i don't [ __ ] believe you would get past one 10 pages of that [ __ ] i really don't hope you're all hanging in there i hope you're all hanging in there okay i don't know why i got back i have to watch this hey everyone i hope you all are well i just wanted to let you know that i've written a memoir called let love man and why book is about the first 25 years of my life culminating in the release of my first album wow those years shaped me you know taught me so much about myself like everybody first 24 years of love and unity that i still believe in to this day it's a message i stand for and will live by forever mine i'm looking forward to sharing my journey with you lenny kravitz let love on october 6th oh it's not out yet i hope you enjoy it i hope you enjoy it and i hope you see you out on the road peace peace okay zach october 6 you better buy and read that book i'm writing you know he's also jewish too oh he is he's like a happy yeah that's pretty so happy yeah from now he's cool yeah i like him you're right he does have a big dick i'm sure that comes from the jewish house zach i i i'll buy you that book if you read it 150 percent oh my god let's buy them i i [ __ ] dare you to read that book bro you know what you gotta do we gotta secretly also read it and then quiz him on it yeah i'll have a b dude i don't want to read it i'll have somebody do that you don't want to read the memoir no zach won't lie zach never lies he's an honest adam plus though that's my stuff uh i said it's right down my alley that kind of book okay i'll buy you this there's a johnny depp video with the same vibes oh johnny depp has a video i have to watch that oh yeah i think when i was younger i had a johnny depp yeah well i yeah i think everybody did because that's it he's like the cl him i would say leonardo and johnny yeah and brad pitt yeah it's just like that time they were like they're perfect beauty yeah yeah and they're cool as [ __ ] but now he's a total [ __ ] mess but the thing is you just i feel like where's this video by the way did you send it to me yeah it's on the discord why is the icon brought so like it's confusing like at least like here's why i always get confused that's a reason to develop how funny that sounds right i mean it's funny but like i'm always confused on discord because i'm an old [ __ ] you're not showing should i not show this all right i don't know anything about discord but i feel like you shouldn't show it it was okay i don't think it matters but like i'm all you guys know i'm old boomer ass and i always get confused on discord so the one with all of our members is has a logo of the podcast which is what i would expect right to click and then but the one for us has just a picture of brazil's fat stupid [ __ ] face so that's why because i'm always alive and i don't know what the [ __ ] going on okay it's brachio's face okay i'm being gazed up okay boomer so i think these people just forget how to talk like normal people because i feel like they they uh they kind of forget that they're normal people like you're not fooling anyone with your memoir bro you're just this is the thing you're literally an actor your manager just came to you and was like hey we got a book deal you want to do a book deal they're like dude no this is exactly i'll tell you exactly what happens they go they go lenny that's his name right lenny you're leaving money on the table buddy yeah we can make two three million bucks you'll get a ghost writer you won't even have to do anything spend an afternoon telling this ghost writer your stories he'll rate the whole book two three million bucks and then that's it oh and and we got the perfect way for you to sell the book there's this new service where you give people your phone call me and then you get their data and then you sell them and stay in touch and it's like i'd like to be in touch with you yeah let's continue to let love rule let's continue to let love wrote but you know what i feel like um yeah i don't know people it really goes to people's heads and they forget how to talk like normal human beings but i i find the whole fetishing of actors funny because like being a good actor literally says nothing about you as a human being well that's the same about any celebrity like being a good singer well at least don't say anything about you as a person uh right well it says a lot more because it's like your music and you're writing words and emotions and expressions and stuff i guess if you wrote it but yeah but yeah i mean of all the all the performing arts people fetishize them like gods and they're just [ __ ] most of the time i think a lot of social media is really this is why we're doing that because now you hear everyone's thoughts and yeah and we don't you didn't hear like jimmy jimi hendrix tweet what he thought about trump oh yeah whatever oh my god can you imagine jimi hendrix hey everybody yeah you don't want that is this part of his instagram video the countdown like do you see what a big he thinks this is so important his first ever instagram post oh it was okay yeah yeah he had a countdown this was part of his instagram post first ever instagram post he really want he really thinks it's that important crazy let's get some hattie's skin get some howdies hey is it a dungeon or what everyone hello it's like a yeah vampire feel like johnny depp really lost it when he started to really think he was captain jack yeah because like he started he started becoming more and more captain jack-esque and he started doing other movies and he was still captain jack like i remember he was in tonto the [ __ ] what was it that he played like about lone ranger yeah he was captain jack in that film it was so stupid it's like he choses captain jack now he has a big captain jack tattoo on his arm oh he does yeah it wasn't just for the movie that's you your cat you don't need a tattoo of you yeah he's like wait so instagram highlights is that gonna go to festivals or where is it gonna play are we up for awards you know what gets me is how many candles are in the shot how many of you oh wow i didn't see these ones on the table the ones behind him yeah bro what are you doing where is this this is instagram [ __ ] this is not the point like he's totally missing the point of instagram right um this is my first experience within the world of social media i've never done any of this before i'm sure this was the last uh i don't think i've really ever felt any particular reason to until now um yeah dude what is wrong with you doug who told you this was a good idea just get the phone put in your face people would be so stoked if he just took the phone and was like hey guys i'm on instagram yeah see you tomorrow and people were like yeah he gets it hey guys it's my first experience it's not a dialogue that's the point it's not a dialogue you just say [ __ ] and people watch you say [ __ ] it's not a dialogue and don't pretend it's a dialogue [Laughter] [ __ ] enemy has already caused miserable tragedies and enormous damage to people's lives um people are ill what is he talking about i don't care about the situation with him and amber heard fighting from frighteningly high rates why are you in a dungeon talking about this [ __ ] they provide for their children and their families as a result of this it does seem like at the end of this you'll just climb into a coffin he's like all right good night some have lost their job i can't follow him it's just it's the ramblings of a [ __ ] i think he's cool too i mean he used to be super cool but now he's just kind of burned out and weird because you have to age gracefully you can't be the same cool guy you were when you were 18 you have to age gracefully right you get that's the problem with all these rock and rollers i feel like especially with the the good looker guys because they're just so stuck in how good their life when they were 20 right and they're lo but but like you can look good you just you have to age out you can look great you know definitely you can still get that a5 probably get more of it a5 wago beef what is a5 oh it's the highest tier of wagyu beef from japan it's like perfect marbling 1 285 yeah are you drinking that up i'm not elo how dare you i'm gonna buy some soon you know costco sells it it's like two it's like 150 dollars a pound some meat wow obvi the thing is with like leo and like johnny they've been on the meat show so long they've been longer they've been famous longer than they haven't been since they were like kids so they don't know how to be normal i feel like well that's true [Music] i feel like there's got to be some other other famous people that are normal well no i mean i get it you've been famous that long they're basically child actors yeah and then they've been [ __ ] like crazy making tons of money you know i get it but still these guys need someone in their life to be like dude this is not instagram bro this is like [ __ ] this shouldn't exist this is nothing there's always something to do always our heroes jeff beck like what the god damn eight minutes of rambling it's unwatchable i hate it speaking of celebrities we've got a fun look everyone hey everyone we've got a fun um segment let's take a call first we got calls lined up after the call we've got celebrity songs some really unknown gems and really bad ones really that we're gonna rank um joe pesci has one where he says eat my ass he says eat my ass out treat all your broads like trash [Laughter] i swear i swear that's what he says here i'll play for you real fast joe pesci wise guy apparently he tried to scrub the internet of this right yeah yeah we tried to that's why this is like 10 pixels this video yeah it is embarrassing but and it's got like look how many uh watermarks are we should add one yo we should add one and upload it [Music] [Laughter] [Music] this is the worst thing ever this is worse than johnny depp's dungeon [Music] my ass i don't hear anything eat out my ass ate up my feet out my head when you slow it down it sounds even more like you're saying it let me hear it what johnny thought anyway we'll watch this but let's take a call um there's someone in hebrew writing that he has a big problem after his fiancee left him and he would like advice okay he's been listening to us for three years or watching sorry i like to give advice and you would yeah yeah bring him on i don't know how contact zach on discord dm me on discord yeah it's this guy that's typing in hebrew yeah leon is his quest is his question going to be in hebrew hopefully i can't translate that's not going to work um but until then let's get gabe see this one's tough you guys i don't know this girl she loves the smell and touch of her period blood so much that she uses special underwear called thinx what that has a pad built into it you're supposed to just rinse it and wring it out so she does this so she can save it all of her period blood and so she puts it in her faucet she also has a uh it's called endo endotraceosis which makes her periods even heavier and longer oh god what a nightmare she wants to share i feel like she just sharing you guys want to hear that i feel like it might be too gross people are saying no yeah i don't know i i mean i i just heard the story actually like from you yeah i mean i heard that i read that and i was like guys this is too gross but then we had this whole philosophical bible why isn't that the whole point but i was like well yes and no you know like i don't want it to be so gross that everyone's like out nope nope nope um everyone's screaming no so what kind of show is it when you're literally doing something that literally nobody we're like period shaming i don't think that's an issue because you're saying like what are you saying that you guys had a debate about what no if it was too gross to put on the show well because when we were talking about it last night ethan was too gross it was too gross i was like well this is i mean we're doing after dark it's supposed to be yeah supposedly no no no no um yeah but so here's another one the chat is is heartbeat yeah i haven't seen the single player yeah everyone's ready discord is saying yes though no i'm not doing it i'm not doing it well okay i feel like we've talked about period blood enough and some girls like it some don't it's crazy some girls like it i really hate it i freaking hate it is there any weird smells you like though because like you did not you deny even ever like smelling your own well you say you smell your own farts but i don't say i i don't enjoy it you don't enjoy it no not even like i don't believe you do you do i don't like it how dare you we had a whole debate about it yeah we're already talking yeah okay next do we have the guy who needs advice if not i've got rosie here not yet i can throw rosie yeah let's get rosie in let me set it up so rosie has a door an incident in her dorm that they call poop lasagna it was so bad the person in charge of the entire dorm had to send out emails telling us to stop the issue was that wait wait don't explain it why i'm setting it up but don't explain what it actually is i know what poop lasagna is it's a known phenomenon well what i know poop lasagna is as when you take a poop and then you wipe and then you do and then you discover you have to poop more so you poop on the toilet paper and then you wipe again you have a poop lasagna okay okay so anyway this kept happening and the paper will clog the toilet then another person would come try to flush it wouldn't work so they would poop on top of it which i don't believe anyone would do unless there was literally no other toilet can you imagine [ __ ] on top of like that mess of toilet paper and dump that you see sometimes in publix hauls that would i would never i would never i'd rather ship my pants i'd rather [ __ ] on the floor next to the toilet i would just yeah i would just leave whatever i'm doing and just just exit on that day just it's not happening just go home just from the dorm you're out of state you're at it first flight out of here anyway they would poop on it cover it and it was just apparent see i i don't think i don't believe her i'm gonna call her out she sent receipts though like apparently she has letters it says hello residents um there's been reports of excessive toilet paper and towels being thrown on the toilet more specifically an incident involving paper towels on the floor stopping up the toilets with excess paper and overflowing and then using paper at a rate of a whole roll a day layering the paper and poop without flushing in other words putting some paper i love how she clarifies in other words putting some paper in the toilet pooping on it covering it with more paper and then the person adds more paper and poops doesn't flush oh what people were doing that on purpose that's wait on purpose why this this email makes it sound like they were doing it as a gag ew i can see some dorm [ __ ] meat heads doing that as a gag so then it was like unflushable who are you who's the guy i don't know it's just something dumb you think's funny like i could see that that makes more sense to me than when i first this is sick that's true she she posted an excel of the damages um i don't know if you can read it i'm trying to see if i can zoom in here this i thought this was pretty funny like this is kind of a week week of flight she's saying bring her on i'm trying i'm waiting for you guys well no she's ready i was i will bring her in what the hell she's in here i'm trying to hold the show i'm waiting for her she's in the room oh my god she's on the call right now rosie what what's going on dude so rosie can you hear me yes hello hi okay so was this a gag like tell me was this a gag that people were like pooping on each other's poop or was it the toilet clogged so this resulted in the toilet being clogged also discord says um no so this was not a gagged this is not a gag but this was the international theme dorm so myself included we all come from places where you know bidet is a thing so even for me i just did not know how to use paper so indeed like using words and of papers so all the free the international freaks came together and didn't know how to use the toilet that makes more sense so wait hold on rosie where are you from you're from i think norway i read no no no netherlands oh netherlands no no and um and you were studying in in the united states at the time at whit at where indiana university shout out so where you are from every day is just normal everyone's got it yeah my parents were originally pakistani so we have like a hose next to the toilet oh okay yeah there's like a little separate day or you use it here was just a totally unknown that makes way more sense i've i i've seen that hose like as a kid and i've in some places i feel like everybody in israel there i never knew what you're supposed to do that's so funny it's the temperature to pressure ratio but i just feel like you splash ass water all over your hands i mean your hands getting cleaned as well yeah but okay well anyway let's stick to the topic i could debate you on wiping techniques all day so so you had a bunch of international students in uh in a dorm room yes and you guys were using too much toilet paper is what it sounds like a yeah that doesn't seem like a lot i mean it depends how many people were there no yeah so let's say they're 25 dollars two people per room dude that's absolutely reasonable a roll a day let me clarify was there just one toilet for everybody three three four men three for women on one floor okay and this was happening in the men's and the women's or just the men's yes it was okay so this university had 13 dorms each dorm had multiple buildings and they did a thing where they ranked each floor in all the dorms together for like sanitation and the three floors in my dorm building came last against the entire dorms which has to be around like 100 floors and it was because of like one people shot in the shower every single year that i was there oh and then also because it was like our building specifically because we had people poop if you look at the the cost dude i know what you're saying no it's the international students because i had students i that also happened in my dorm room when i was a freshman i remember because people will come from like indonesia or somewhere where they just they don't even have like toilets and they they didn't know how to [ __ ] and they were just [ __ ] in the [ __ ] shower and waffle stop it bro that's what happened it got waffle stomped and if you look at the bill it's clearly says had to dig it out was stomped in oh i feel so bad for them now now it all makes sense and i feel so bad we could smell it the hallway was quite vile so wait so when you needed to go to the bathroom what would you do did you ever poop on top did you ever contribute to the poop lasagna maybe yes so this is a story in itself so okay so um since you cancelled out periods uh i was on my period and you know it gives you period poops stop the clock what's a period poop i've never heard of that do you know what that is because i'm not sure it's when your body your body is cramping to get the blood out and the lining out but it's also pushed against your colon so it gives you like diarrhea as well because not only is the blood and the pot coming out so is the poop i don't know that delightful yeah i just love being on period it's just like oh you don't get to wake up how come you don't get period poops you don't have diarrhea on your period i mean i s well i i thought it only depends on what i eat because it's not all you never linked the two no i didn't do but who knows maybe i'm different girls get way unaware okay well at any rate you had a period poop i was on my period i took coffee before a two-hour session and by the end of the session i was dying so i just ran home and of course the only stall available has been to have the one with the lasagna in it and i'm dying i don't have a choice i just go in and i mean first of all i mean it's at least like f it's the end of the day so i mean if i flush it's going to overflow so you know just put a little bit of paper down prevent a splash oh you'd contributed to the poop lasagna fro like diarrhea for 20 minutes and that is the worst part i don't know how to use paper so it's just like like i don't feel clean so it's like okay i just got to keep on piping wiping drop wiping drop and then the worst part is the worst part is like i could feel like the wet like the lasagna on my butt like and and i had to leave it then just shower because if i flushed everything just won't move it just physically does not move yeah you wouldn't you couldn't even flush you just make matters worse you know um you know you know what's funny is the people in the stall the the two other stalls knew you were pooping on the on the poop lasagna because they they probably checked that stall and we're like oh i'm not going in there but then you went in there yes and the thing is it happened on a daily basis wow so what were you supposed to do i mean were there other toilets yeah i would just probably go to a different dorm was that an option no because you only had access to your own building i mean you could go to another floor but it was happening on all three floors so why was your why was your like why was this person in charge giving you guys [ __ ] over 34 for extra toilet paper i mean what the [ __ ] is this i mean we shot in the if you look at the bill we shot in the shower everyone had to pay for these bills by the way even though oh they charged you yeah not just me everyone on the floor oh my god that final bill wait that's for every single individual it was divided up by 50 or however it's very small yeah someone appeared on three yeah i wanted to read that one it says someone peed on three couches and surrounding area around couches and vomit in the hallway it's college bro oh my god good times i can't imagine that american college experience i have in israel it's different like that i remember that [ __ ] was a little extra weird in the international one because of situations like she like i remember there was rumors about the international one like that people were pooping in buckets and that um and it wasn't their fault they just didn't know any better you know i mean yeah and and people would shave their cubes on the toilet seats and leave it there oh my god that's what that one's hard to justify why not do that you know if if they're out my [ __ ] in the shower [ __ ] it if i wasn't i can't imagine forcing it down the drain with my feet though but regardless rosie no i was just gonna say it became the legacy of foster shade floor 2 because i lived there for 3-4 years and it happened every single year man here we have an itemized bill vomit cleanup south sub-hallway vomit cleanup and sinks two and three you know i would think that a cleaning service would be included in the price of admission though um yes we had a custodian who was there every day but for this they brought in the big boys oh the hazmats and all that like i'm not joking that's a pretty reasonable price then i feel like uh cleaning up feces and mint shower 45 bucks are you kidding me i want to clean up feces for 45 bucks yeah even at my worst you'd have to pay me a lot more than that although how do you clean up feces in the shower you just turned the water on no it was waffle depends yeah if it's been stomped ethan i just want to point out you see two bills for the poop in the shower we were only aware of one poop in the shower until we got the bill yeah and turns out that the other person did it and just didn't get caught cleaned up dried whoa hang on dried feces smashed into shower drain had to dig it out what does that mean how do you have dried feces in a shower drain um i think that one happened over like the crisp and the break oh no like the one week break we had that's why nobody knew about it wow oh that's crazy dude what a legacy this is sick it's not like a legacy well you know what college is great and uh and i share that i have similar experiences all this is fantastic that you have it documented so well welcome thank you for sharing rosie and i'm glad you had a good time in america and we represented well do you have a functioning toilet now do you feel uh yeah i mean i wipe my butt with my hand and i have a little bucket like a little measuring jar that you fill with water and then it's called the loca in pakistan in india you just pour a little bit and then you wipe with your left hand just straight raw yeah and he thought that was the most clean way you feel like it's clean you feel like your hand do not like have to bleach your hand like literally like how do you feel like once you've touched [ __ ] because once i touch [ __ ] it happens on accident occasionally when i'm wiping it feels like you know armageddon i mean it feels really bad so so how do i lie sometimes after washing my hand it still smells like poop so i have to like use hand sanitizer to like get the smell out so it doesn't touch doesn't that tell you that maybe there's a better way what a dry paper towel well a bidet or or yeah i thought you were about the yeah bidet why are we putting our hand in there i mean the bidet is basically just water without the hand or do you not have the option of a bidet uh i mean i i like culture like my first few years were in pakistan and yeah i like it i mean you can get into the when you're kiki in the bedroom and what like i know it's like what is it like there's the uh the right hand for eating the left hand for wiping right yes so is there any kind of like kinks with the left hand in the bath in the bedroom because it's like the dirty hand um like if you put your left fingers in the mouth or something oh i'd be grossed out really that's the white pad yeah i was just curious because it's like interesting okay all righty well any questions so if you make hands you only use the right hand i mean i'm personally not weird about this but some people like do are like tabooed about it like oh eat with your right hand come on hmm i i mean i get that if i touch if i mean look if i was putting my left hand up my ass i would probably eat with my right hand but like i mean it works for you and you seem really happy and well adjusted so keep doing your thing man thank you i mean if you go out and play in mud do you just use a paper towel or do you take a shower right well you you've been through you've been through worse it sounds like the lasagna touched my butt yeah [Laughter] nothing will ever compete with that experience [Music] all right rosie stay well and uh keep that left hand clean all right thank you rosie um i really quickly recommend the film toilet man it's a bollywood film just watch it okay toilet man i'm on it you're interested it'll be about you ethan thanks rosie all right bye rosie bye bye that was more interesting than i expected and to be told she turned it around i mean you were totally skeptical that story was even real yeah she convinced me when i found out it was in the um the international because i had the same exact thing i swear to god it was it was it was uh chaos there you know [ __ ] that was gross but that's that's the beauty of college life that people don't think about but that [ __ ] happens in every college everywhere in every dorm just [ __ ] like that you know the first time i ever saw period blood in a toilet i had a co-ed bathroom in college and girls would leave period blood in the toilet and i had never seen anything like that before and i was just like why why not just flush i think maybe what happens is that they flush but it doesn't go down because it's like you can tell it's like super heavy yeah so it like settles on the bottom of the toilet and i was just like oh my god i mean it's just it's shocking it's not i'm not like i'm not trying to be judgmental it's just i never seen that before and i'm in a public restroom i was just like oh god it was dramatic yeah but it's weird to like shower next to women i mean you had like a stall they were in like stalls with a curtain super weird so what do you do when you get out you just wear a towel and people go to their room to get dressed or you stay in the shower there's like a bench i see yeah crazy yeah it was pretty pretty wild times okay what were we talking about oh we're going to do the the celebrity um i'm going to read off a couple super chats real quick yeah i'm going to pee go for it or i don't know if i want to dip out on the super chat i can hear him i can hear him from the bathroom go ahead uh okay let's see uh i'm trying to see where you last left off here um uh do we read jetpack hero hey guys i've been a huge fan since forever you guys helped me through a recent breakup i love you guys just became a member and i'm wearing my teddy fresh sweatshirt right now very cool thank you sorry about your breakup i'm glad we could uh get you through that uh oh this was the jeff dunham thing we already asked about that shout out to aien my true love shout out you guys uh would love to share with you guys how my family infected over 40 people with copenhagen i 19. if you're in the discord hit up yeah that does sound interesting uh let's see uh you have a story to make ethan laugh i think it's a good one if i can be the contestant today jake hit up zach if you're in the discord uh hit them up uh let's see i saw some really big ones i want to make sure i get to them uh thirty dollar one message retracted well thank you nicole uh i don't know why you retracted your message but thank you for the thirty uh devin can i get a shout out for myself i love you guys so much and these podcasts make my day and give me something to look forward to well shout out devon shout out to yourself zach i absolutely love your song covers on instagram i wish i could save them into a playlist and listen since we've got the same music pace you should uh you should like create a youtube channel and throw them up on there exactly yeah for sure so that appreciate it ian's flow uh somebody says ethan consider the uh keto diet well zach's already advocated heavily for that i don't think it's gonna happen i like to die on i just honestly i i like the diet i feel healthy i just i just gotta hold it for i mean it's only been a week right i just gotta hold it i feel better on it you know i just gotta hold it yep oh by the way i meant to post this uh uh the last person who worked on aien whose name i couldn't remember is brooke and uh i if you're in the uh chat right now i'm gonna spam all three both justin ben and brooke's instagram handles go check them out really talented people um so i have a question um we're doing the celebrity uh songs we're going to rank them do we have some kind of tier list set up or are we just going to do this free ball i think we got to just free ball it so let me open like a um photoshop document and i can just like this is so stupid there's gotta be a better way um you just do it in a text document honestly i mean just write them yeah that's the best word i'll be easy yeah yeah thank you all right so ela we're going to be doing celebrity uh songs and unfortunately we're going to be doing a tier list and a word doc oh yeah epic so we have joe or we have eddie murphy first you know you know eddie murphy why is it so small my god it's here let me open a [ __ ] google drive doc there you go there you go eddie murphy is like such a talent when it comes to um impressions and sinking he has a beautiful voice but he keeps trying to make music and it's always just horrible disagrees with that oh zach give me a [ __ ] break excuse me oh my god you really have a problem you like everything and that that song is the greatest [ __ ] song ever it's exactly how you're supposed to feel as you're like you like me you're a fan and all that right like that's how you that's why you work for us how am i supposed to take that when you like all the [ __ ] you like i like a lot of things but there are things that i do dislike that would i strongly accept anything but mike on impulsive is the only thing you dislike shorts and birds all right so let's watch uh eddie murphy party all the time note from zach this is my favorite song of all time yeah along with every other song you've [Music] heard oh wow it has a lot of views i thought you're saying wait damn 50 million anyway that's it uh you know it's not that bad it's not that bad actually it doesn't even deserve it it shouldn't even be on the list eddie i love you joe pesci now we're talking now we're getting into music that shouldn't exist joe pesci you know it's an interesting phenomenon there's so many celebrities i i just i included discluded a lot of stuff that i thought wasn't bad enough to be on the list but there's so many celebrities with songs gwyneth paltrow has a song um what's her name the [ __ ] the girl uh scarlett johansson scarlett joel hansen has a song really there's like it's it's a it's an epidemic steven seagal stevenson has a song for christ the idea of someone else's idea i think it's his idea we did a little research apparently joe pesci uh wanted to be a musician um and his father was the one that pushed him into smashing instead yes there was no resemblance of musical talent it was apparently his original dream and so once he became a very successful actor he um you know leveraged that into uh releasing some albums this song is actually off of his second album what yep what well so far for me that one is number one number one one of one one one of one but how do you top that yeah i feel like we started with the best eat out her ass treat it like trash it's the [ __ ] that'll get you he's kind of ahead of the time like eat up my ass um okay well vin diesel we watched with tom and christina but nobody's seen that yet that's yeah we should watch oh we haven't yeah okay great oh well this is exciting then because yeah wait i want the i don't want this i want the um the big premiere you want it on yeah so vin diesel friend of the show obviously put out a [ __ ] song put out a song vin diesel arvind diesel on the chloe kelly clarkson show and obviously because of the pandemic they weren't able to have a live audience and so they zipped everybody in on these little screens nerf ultra five blast up to 120 feet with a four dart yo who's playing commercials [ __ ] is going on what's going on that's the second time that's happened you guys all right who's responsible for the nerf blast commercial what's up that's me that's me that's me all right no more commercials i was watching something for ela how many [Laughter] we're just starting to like you kid all right man i'd love to be in that audience though like what an opportunity you know front row seat why are they yeah i mean it's not as bad as joe pesci but no it's not unfortunately but it is pretty embarrassing for our boy uh vin who by the way has a flawless uh so far reputation um did i close my document did i really do that i'm such a i'm such a [ __ ] or not man accidents happen [ __ ] happens no but no but i do it every [ __ ] time like it's crazy how often i do this [ __ ] okay boomer okay boomer so what i got to go open a new document does anyone give a [ __ ] what do we need to write it down for one of my [ __ ] goldfish you can't remember i don't think we really care about it i don't remember here i'll i'll just i'll write it down earlier i am such a f all all right i'm just kidding it's not that serious i feel like this year list gets a little tedious like i'm kind of all right so we got but yeah i mean look joe pesci is the worst yeah okay here's david hasselhoff in 1989. in germany [Applause] i don't know if you know this meme but david hasselhoff has a music career in the united states nobody gave a [ __ ] but in germany everybody loved them weirdest thing i think you told me about it it was so weird huge in germany you're just huge in germany remember norm used to every single when he was on snl and he was the host of weekend update every single episode he would make a joke about david hasselhoff being super popular in germany he would always make a point of bringing it up no matter what the story was he would find a way to bring up the fact that david has offered you oh that's fantastic why is that look at that piano look how happy he is jesus that is that's what david has loved looking this is david hasselhoff david why did you want to come exactly here to the run gate one year ago we did looking for freedom and it was a dream this is more meme worthy than anything okay just making sure just doing a vibe check on you [Music] yeah i can't handle this but again i mean you can't beat joe i eat him knew it i knew that we started with the best as soon as okay well hold on william shatner made a whole album of what this here he made a whole [ __ ] album let me remind you ela that this is not a joke this photoshop is it was this the real cover i think so it's a real ongoing wow that's amazing so so this is real i guess he did a whole album covering um david bowie is that what happened it was just like an album of like rock's greatest songs okay sung by william shatner right yeah album of this [ __ ] here let me go forward oh my god wait how does he [Music] i know the queen song it really matters like instead of listening to freddie mercury maybe you just want to listen to some old [ __ ] putty dude talk in a monotone voice over your favorite songs [Laughter] nothing really matters the middle section i feel like is going to be the best that's the weird operatic part but imagine thinking this is better than the original or as some added value to it or just anything that anyone else would want to listen to except yourself god he wants me on drugs bye everybody that's [ __ ] awesome someone said you guys have to listen to the common people by william shatner yeah one i feel like i want more i feel like this one's too musical like find me major tom yeah no his most famous one i think is rocket man yeah i want rocket man send me that [ __ ] yeah come on man what a weird thing to do a whole album bro they're saying common people is the one we should check out so let's check out common people and rocket man all right and like the list of musicians that worked on this cover album is insane goodbye everybody i love how genuine he is like just sounds like he's talking over like the karaoke version but it no the music sounded good to me yeah but it sounds like it's just they're a-b oh yeah yeah yeah it's just the instrumental of them yeah okay here we go this is called common people by william well to be honest i don't know the original so so here give me rocket man that song i know just type it into youtube it'll come right up i demand a concierge service tim oh this one's got a video a lyricist whose string of hits in collaboration with elton john has made him one of the world's most popular songwriters please welcome bernie toppin i'd like you to see william chat i was like let me fast forward this [ __ ] yeah at the sign last night okay here we go this is [ __ ] serious bro she packed my bags last night pre-flight zero hour people are laughing and i'm gonna be high dude how are people not laughing there's a kite by them this [ __ ] is [ __ ] insane i miss the earth so much how is this better this is just like a performance art like not really it's lonely how is it additive on such a timeless i think elton john did a perfectly fine job enunciating the words and i think it's going to be a long long time brings me back again to find i'm by the way this website is called fuzzymemories.tv which is exactly what this is man it's perfect i'm a rocket man the top comment is nobody plays the cigarette like william shatner [Music] [Music] i just can't deal with this i could watch this all day but i mean the fact that this exists in front of a live audience that's right i gotta hear how this guy introduced him due to the interest in the meaning of the song now in 1978 at the science fiction film awards i'm truly proud once again to present my rocket man as interpreted by our host william shatner thank you wow dude i don't know how people didn't laugh in his [ __ ] face oh that's hot well how does shatner rank with i mean nobody eats eat my ass number two yeah he's number two for sure real quick are you guys seeing all this about uh james charles lie detector test video no why is it good should i watch it james charles took a lie detector test and one of the questions was did you actually copy teddy fresh he said no and the guy said he wasn't lying oh well so what i'm just telling you what i'm seeing wait where is it jim where's this video james charles lied to text there it's in the discord i put ian sent a little bit okay here it is did you ever have a thing with noah back did you actually steal these designs from teddy fresh jeans are you subscribed to anybody unholy fans are you actually a virgin did you ever get more cosmetic surgery well this is just the intro oh it's on his channel hi sisters so wait this is his it's on his channel this is his way of addressing it just being like that's all he said hey hey dude this is proof i mean i first of all i i don't ever suspect that he did steal it i think someone on his team did it doesn't matter james it's still your product it doesn't matter if you oh did you time set me up okay cool i'm not gonna [ __ ] i'm not going to watch this video hi sisters i thought he would have actually at least just gave us a shout out and be nice about it let's see the gals want to know did you actually steal these designs from teddy fresh no that's true that guy's a paid actor okay paid actor all right paid actor you're off the hook that settles for everybody all charges dropped that guy's a [ __ ] paid actor this guy's a stooge bro it's on james charles channel this guy's a [ __ ] from an infomercial for diabetes medicine i'm not calling him fat i'm just saying he looks like a paid actor and a bad one at that by the way lie detectives are pseudoscience i never accused him personally instead i think his design team did and uh all files are being dropped now though because i have conclusions yes should i stop i can't believe it wow i mean seriously that's all you're gonna say okay all right someone said in the comments is this guy this guy's the same lie detector guy that's on everyone they're liars they're full of [ __ ] wait what'd you say to me i said someone in the comments said this is the same guy that's on everyone's channel as the as the lie detector he this is the guy that's what someone in the comments said yeah what can i ask him wasn't ian shane's video too is that the same guy maybe dude you guys know lie detectors are like the biggest pseudoscience [ __ ] ever yeah oh yeah it's not evidence to anything it's not even allowed in there yeah it's not even a lot of core and all you have to do is squeeze your butthole to fake an answer because it [ __ ] up your your uh blood pressure yeah is that real yeah you literally just squeeze your [ __ ] and it will [ __ ] up every answer because it increases your blood pressure but i love that he thinks that if he personally didn't know about the hoodie then it's fine it's like no you run a company your employees maybe stole the design and you didn't know but it's still your product i'm still going to talk to you i'm not going to go talk to one of your employees yeah so if he had said for example and i'm not this is open-ended but if he had come back to you and said okay we looked into it this designer on our team apparently he did steal it from you guys we've let him go yeah that's none of my business i don't care what you do with your team but like yeah would that have been like an acceptable response no that's your business yeah of course not however you run your company is none of my business by the way you think if he really said yes and it went off he would keep it in the video it's his video in his house on his channel whatever i mean i don't care but like the fact that he's gonna parade this around could you know that he put it up front this is the dumbest [ __ ] i thought he would have done like i thought he would at least i thought because i saw people say that he mentioned uh teddy fresh so i thought maybe you would have said like hey you know this came up no he a little shout out for teddy fresh we didn't mean to steal the design i thought it was going to be something something like amicable would be like okay cool the gals want to know did you actually steal these designs from teddy fresh no take 20. the first 19 came out negative that's true he's like that's true he goes no no no no see this is how i know this guy's a quack you say it's not that's true it's like um no there's no receptive yeah there's there's no receptive of uh perceived lie or some [ __ ] yeah he's like i confirm i confirmed that he didn't steal from teddy fresh [ __ ] quack-ass [ __ ] the fact of the matter is you approached him before it was even released i mean and he admitted to it and then he still you know he still came out when i hit him in the dms he responded so [ __ ] fast yeah right he immediately responded like he was expecting it to come like a whole paragraph i was like hey dude uh you know whatever whatever and then immediately it was like boom i had this [ __ ] prepared by my lawyer i swear to god james i have beef with james charles now [Music] and you do not want me as an enemy hi sisters people are saying he said no before the question was over exactly i'm gonna hire this guy as a con i'm gonna lie to him that'd be [ __ ] epic hire this guy and then lie to him a bunch of times unprovably fake [ __ ] just to ruin his reputation you're gonna squeeze your butthole i'll squeeze my ass and everything i can't get over this sound bite this this is great just want to know did you actually steal these designs from teddy fresh no yeah he starts saying no before he finishes the question can you do i want to do something where you just put in yes and then we'll just play that sound bite you could just edit from what the ones that you see yeah just use that soundbite all the time wrap that up can i point out too on his video i'm trying to find teddy fresh in the comments and i'm not seeing it anywhere oh he blocked it he's deleting i totally blocked it by the way how do i know he didn't even just look at this true that's straight up a stalk and they just cut that in any time from any answer that's true next question did you ever have a thing with noah back no i wish yeah he's like yep he's like yep he does wish that i got to watch this now because i hate because i hate you and i want to make [Laughter] um do you think that you can beat larry in a fight watch your mouth lorraine you mean low ray larry who's supposed to larry with the extra a at the end like what kind of fight oh physical i guess this for you physical no but in the lower okay james charles have you i guess somebody cares no ever done a collab with someone you didn't like at the time of recording dude you [ __ ] no this guy's full of [ __ ] this guy's full of [ __ ] there's definitely people that i've clogged with oh we know next all right that's for sure we go oh he said yes he said yeah he said yeah a a long time ago but now i always make sure to do it okay shut up liar wow haters are step sisters step sister we're her step sister dude he literally he blocked teddy fresh from the chat all right sister i see how it is i wrote for you bro you know when it came time to show you know who was the real one i wrote for james charles that was true i [ __ ] that now that's a sound bite that's true i defended him i fought for him i'd have died for him he was my sister that was true he says this is the same lie detector guy as david dobrik uses in his videos it's not accurate it's like a fad whatever yeah but the youtube thing you could these guys wouldn't put out an embarrassing answer they obviously would edit it yeah yeah the comments believe it that's for sure well yeah sure these people think that people think lie detectors are like voodoo magic with like they can read your heart and mind you know what i mean right hey uh let me ask you a uh let me ask some questions to the lie detector guy um do you uh are you um just faking all the answers that's true that's what i thought is that laptop are you doing anything on that laptop in front of you or is it just on is minecraft open or minesweeper that's true that's what i figured just minesweeper not software or anything do you have any formal training yes sir is it true i heard you have no no formal training at all oh he's they're saying get james charles to be the worst on wikifeet oh that's dude he already is he already is dude you know what happens to my enemies you know what happens to him what do you mean he's already got he has a low rating on wikipedia 1.64 what yo was that did our peeps ride we never mentioned look at his [ __ ] feet look at these let's dude his feet are [ __ ] disgusting i'm just kidding i don't know just trying to be but you know what happens to our enemies right what happens ethan oh you know i don't have to say what god's name is this image yeah one well guys you know what to do i'm not telling you to fudge the numbers i'm just tell what here's what i encourage you all to do go to james charles on wikifee and just share your opinion share your thoughts give it a rating share your thoughts but i would refer you specifically to this image here as you share your thoughts right ela that's true that's true whoa wait what go back one this one his feet are kind of weird i'm telling you they're one star bro they ain't beautiful like mine they're pretty they're pretty nasty dude yeah the comments weren't happy oh let's read the comments they didn't like the these they look like the feet of someone who steals merch you can tell that from his feet wow that's true that is true nasty feet dirty and ugly for a boy his feet are beautiful hey get the [ __ ] out of freak you got weird taste hmm yeah i got beef with james charles now literally i've got beef oh my god his feet look freakish i mean i'm not trying to be mean what the god what's going on there looks like he's got a goat oof you know like these human goats they're like they're like demons sucker is it a satire it's got a goat hoof girl sister um what size what size shoehorn do you take all right can we go back to our segments no this is the segment now first off this is the segment sister we're at an hour 45 by the way yeah well i'm just getting started sorry step sisters oh he's just opened a can of [ __ ] [ __ ] sandwich fish lasagna shitless poop lasagna bro that's like a poop lasagna in your sister's stall [Laughter] you know what's coming your way bro is that how is that a thing you don't your ass okay james is james charles half goat are not for human being to be half goat being the goat oh the no i said half goat not they'll go does james charles have acid implants that's true i knew it fake ass yeah oh really does james charles have a tiny peepee see i didn't that wasn't even a yes or no question what do you what are you yet saying is true all right how do we move on how do we move on is there any more james charles content we can watch that's funny what's about that one video of him tripping and eating [ __ ] we can watch that over and over we should probably move on from we should bring that detector guy yeah i totally i'm gonna [ __ ] scrutinize his ass let's do our own version i want to see what's going on on his laptop what's going on there dude i know you're playing minesweeper but if we bring him to do a video with us then we get to see the behind the scenes i don't think he'll do it now i don't think he'll agree we should get our own well what we should do is just dress zack up like a [ __ ] lie detector and like yeah just find some bozo off craigslist and give him a laptop and have him go that's true some cables that's true do you have a 20 inch penis yes that's true there you go infallible what is this oh here this is what i wanted you guys to watch it's just james charles eating [ __ ] in a mall we made it out of line we have the spiders in hand cardio for me james charles you just made the worst enemy of your life that's true yeah that one come that one rings true infallible i'm bringing my own lie detector and you're going down hey am i the worst enemy you could ever make in life true that's right wait we gotta get a soundbite of him saying no we never got one of them saying no yeah yeah everything is true this guy's never been fed a single wrong answer all right you want to get back to the yeah so actually this one is this one actually i think competes with joe pesci it's kim kardashian used to make music look at her hair how big it is look at her [ __ ] hair anyway this is really bad [Music] i think it reminds me of patricia marie like straight up dan mom music [Music] adam bartoche [Music] oh it's turn it up turn it up not tear me up i mean this this is like patrice patrice wilson level of music production so i mean i guess we could wrap it up after this we have so much content here let's watch one more corey feldman this is basically going to be between corey feldman kim k and joe pesci [Music] what is going on in the music [Music] let me fast forward [Music] oh my god i just realized i i swear to [ __ ] god we've been in this house do you know what i'm talking about we rewind time we've been in this house when we were shopping for houses and we saw all this weird michael jackson [ __ ] that's his [ __ ] that's his [ __ ] that's where we were bro it's rewind time when you guys were talking about it i was wondering if it was his house that's so funny i was like i i think that i think that was his house [Music] here let me see i'll wreck it here let me see no it's a different backyard the backyard was so [ __ ] creepy [Music] okay anyway this isn't bad i mean it's has been awful i mean i just feel bad for him though kind of yeah it's [ __ ] horrible dude okay wow i i thought it was great i thought it was cool did i like this song if anyone needs your love zach it's corey feldman bro yeah no seriously all right so you guys want to take a vote between kim k corey feldman and joe pesci i guess we all feel bad for um for corey so i mean joe pesci is obviously it's hard to compete with the eating the ass thing but kim k's i think is is probably worse because like joe's is just it's like it's kind of fun and it's kind of fun and it's weird and wild i say kim k for sure but kim k is just so embarrassing she actually denounces the song though like what does that mean how do you denounce it she regrets making it it's your regrets well i don't blame her for that of course all these people do joe pesci tried to race from the internet she's not a good singer [Music] it's like the best and the worst [Music] i gotta do it to i mean i think most of chad is saying joe a lot of william shatner [Music] we have a lot of stuff man we have a ton of [ __ ] this is crazy it's all evergreen save it for next week yeah um let me see if there's anything else i need to bring up before we end it oh god we read some donations while you're looking over the dock yeah uh here scrolling up 69.69 from duck six ethan the past you've asked uh in the past you've asked people if they sniff their own farts i love all my own smells farts are just the beginning oh i love to call in on a future after dark to talk stank i just have a good story about the time that i gave myself a [ __ ] what well that's called auto auto fellatio i believe some people can do it well well okay yeah maryland two ribs taken out uh negon o'shark donated 28 hey guys don't forget about blue beanie remembrance day it's coming up on this oh my goodness the day that that one cafe in new york stole our beanie that's funny wow that's a throwback yeah uh rob shout out to my dog butto you guys are the best shout out to butto he donated twice twenty dollars forty dollars for the shout out to buddha um new age metro have you guys heard of dan harmon's rap about the simulation in his iced tea voice no no i don't dan harmon blocked me on twitter what really yeah what i don't know i don't remember why did you interact with him at some point barely yeah barely i responded to one of his tweets and he blocked me he's got a reputation for being yeah and it's funny because i've met him once at a rick and morty event but i don't think he knows who i am huh and you might know that justin and i are friends but huh well that's too bad he's a funny dude yeah he's a talented guy his stuff is great uh fifty dollar search oh wait whoa whoa whoa whoa throw this up h3 out of context just put up a james charles clip quick h3 out of context perfect yeah we love him we love that man he's the legend the legend h3 out of context did you actually steal these designs from teddy fresh no july did you actually steal these designs from teddy fresh no [Music] well you know i gotta retweet that right you know i gotta retweet that i don't know it's on the podcast it's a legend i mean he set himself up from teddy fresh he set himself up no no we gotta get like all the no's like no no no [Music] did you actually yeah that's awesome anyway uh anything else guys anything else oh i have a perfect costume with trisha when we're recording next week how it's even better now maybe well guys yeah we're gonna wrap it up now oh there's one more person i have beef with here who knew no more babe yeah this guy's going look down she's a raiding foot foot model yeah this is ethan klein he thinks he has some of the best feet on youtube sorry bro it's [ __ ] tangible empirical evidence and by the way um wait so she didn't like it and by the way you could show a better picture not doing me any favors i want to smell feet [Applause] six yeah yeah well you know what he should have given me a better photo mike's next and by the way uh [ __ ] both y'all you know i'm a [ __ ] seven out of five next anyway seven out of five ethan klein here seven out of five i hope you guys have a great weekend please stay safe wear a mask and all that and um in the world [Music] parting wisdom would be it's always the [ __ ] that'll get you is that what you said it's the [ __ ] that'll get you yeah it's always the [ __ ] that'll get you i'm ethan klein it's always the [ __ ] that'll get you all right guys we'll see you next week love being here thank you to all of our members who make this episode possible thank you everyone for watching and donating we love you we appreciate you all a street podcast forever we're not going anywhere anytime soon see you next week on monday you know how we do it peace peace and love your weddings to the three three three three you're watching the three three three three you're watching h to the three three three three you're watching h two three three

Channel: H3 Podcast

Views: 704,685

Keywords: h3h3, h3, h3 after dark, h3h3productions, ethan klein, hila klein, ethan and hila, ethan & hila, after dark

Id: _uMN_NAThww

Length: 113min 49sec (6829 seconds)

Published: Fri Oct 02 2020

Reddit Comments

[u/mediciii]

The A.I Ian making of was amazing. Been such a funny addition to the show, gives it such cooky, adult swim talk show energy that I miss

Edit: the Pakistani girl who called was amazing. The call ins can be cringe or really good

[u/1ROYinHD1]

The h3 podcast wouldn't be the same if it weren't for Ian

[u/stickmansma]

Getting an internship after donating/paying 300 dollars isnt a great precedent to set. Loved the episode otherwise.

[u/segasaturns]

The podcast has been on 🔥🔥

[u/xXButtStuffXx]

Someone please find the Joe Pesci video, it’s a certified banger

[u/[deleted]]

The james charles lie detector thing is bullshit because that's the same guy reading the polygraph on Vanity Fair's celebrity lie detector test, but for his video they didn't screen record the oscillations to not let the audience do their own interpretation. His heart could've jumped at the Teddy Fresh question, but you can't see that on the bearded guy's thumb

[u/appleparkfive]

One improvement I could see is when Ethan is setting up a call. When you give out most of the details before the caller even gets on, it makes the call way less engaging. I know he's doing it in good faith and all, but for the sake of entertainment, it'd be better to just let the caller explain it I think

Though the lasagna story was pretty interesting even with all the info ahead of time

[u/dimitrov1]

The poop lasagna call was wildly hilarious. Something about the callers accent and the way she was so seemingly serious about it was just funny as fuck "the lasagna touched my butt"

[u/ScytheSergeant]

Holy shit Ian's date with the M.A.C and the "look at the dumper on her" had me in tears