Funny Moments from Seasons 2 and 3 | The Big Bang Theory

so I heard your relationship with Penny crash to the ground like blue eyes falling out of an airplane lavatory where did you hear that actually I read it wallo it's texted me like blue ice falling out of an airplane laboratory yep yeah I thought it was a pretty good one I gave him an LOL anyway it got me thinking now that you're unattached maybe we can revisit our previous attachment are you suggesting another bout of stress release no I'm all done with casual from now on I'm fully committed to the traditional relationship Paradigm really what changed it's hard to say I guess there's just a time in every woman's life when she gets tired of waking up on a strange food tone with a bunch of people she doesn't know yeah I can see how that would a bunch of people anyway I just figure it's time to slow things down and who better to slow things down with than you I'm flattered so how do you suggest we proceed your place will order Chinese you'll rent a movie artsy but accessible then light petting no coidus sounds fun I'll leave the details up to you I think it's better if you assume the maale role thank you that's very thoughtful all right call me when the two of you reach a natural stopping point I'd like to have a word if the word is peee just do it Leonard you're my friend and Friends support their friends apparently so I'm withdrawing my objection to your desire to have a relationship with Leslie thank you I will graciously Overlook the fact that she is an arrogant subpar scientist who actually believes Loop quantum gravity better unites quantum mechanics with general relativity than does string theory you kids have fun hang on a second Loop quantum gravity clearly offers more testable predictions in string theory I'm listening amuse me okay well for one thing we expect quanti SpaceTime to manifest itself as minute differences in the speed of light for different colors Baler Dash matter clearly consists of tiny strings are you going to let him talk to me like that okay well there's a lot of Merit to both theories no there isn't only Loop quantum gravity calculates the entropy of black holes Sheldon don't make that noise it's disrespectful I should hope so it was a snort of derision you agree with me right Loop quantum gravity is the future of physics sorry Leslie I guess I prefer my space stringy not loopy well I'm glad I found out the truth about about you before this one any further truth what truth we're talking about untested hypothesis it's no big deal oh it isn't really tell me Leonard how will we raise the children I I guess we wait until they're old enough and let them choose their own Theory we can't let them choose what are their children wait where are you going I'm sorry I could have accepted our kids being genetically unable to eat ice cream or ever get a good view of a parade but this this is a deal breaker look on the bright side what's the bright side only nine more months to Comic-Con yeah fellow Warriors this is sheldor the Conqueror we are about to enter ael's Fortress now this is a long run so let's do another bladder check all right Barry we'll wait for you again but you really should see a [Music] doctor sheldor is AFK Benny are you experiencing some sort of difficulty yes I can't get my stupid door open you appear to have put your car key in the door lock are you aware of that yeah all right then damn it damn it damn it damn it damn it damn it would it be possible for you to do this a little more quietly I can't get the damn key out it's not surprising that Baldwin lock on your door uses traditional EDG mounted cylinders whereas the key for your Volkswagen uses a center cylinder system thank you Sheldon you're welcome point of inquiry why did you put your car key in the door lock why I'll tell you why because today I had an audition it took me 2 hours to get there I waited an hour for my turn and before I could even start they told me I look too Midwest for the part to Midwest what the hell does that even mean well the American Midwest was mostly settled by Scandinavian and dramatic people they have a characteristic face of I mean Sheldon God you know I have been in La for almost 2 years now and I haven't gotten a single acting job I've accomplished nothing haven't gotten a raise at work haven't even had sex in 6 months and just now when I was walking up those stairs a fly flew in my mouth and I ate it well actually insects are a dietary Staple in many cultures they're almost pure protein oh son of a I believe the condensation on your Frozen Foods weaken the structural Integrity of the bag but returning to your key conundrum perhaps you should call a locksmith and have him open the door for you I did he said he'll get here when he gets here and you're frustrated because he phrased his reply in the form of a meaningless tautology no I am frustrated because I am a failure at everything and my breath smells like fly they're there would you prefer to wait in our apartment no Sheldon I'd rather sit on this freezing cold floor sobbing like a three-year-old all right then God's sake just when I think I've gotten the hang of sarcasm see Raj was the kunga chicken I'm the dumplings yes you are creep Howard creepy good or Creepy Bad who was the shrimp with lobster sauce that would be me come to Papa you uncer Delight I'm not necessarily talking to the food sit over there sit over there baby wipe why do you have don't don't I'll tell you why a I had to sanitize my hands because the university replaced the paper towels in the restrooms with hot air blowers Oh I thought the blowers were more sanitary hot air blowers are incubators and spewers of bacteria and pestilence frankly be more hygienic if they just had a plague infested Gibbons sneeze my hands dry hey guys I just got the most amazing gosh Rush do you think you'll ever be able to talk in front of me without being drunk okay well I'll just um go eat by myself Penny you don't have to do that no it's okay between him not talking him talking and him I'm better off alone so goodbye you poor strange little man she's so considerate so what's your news remember that little planetary object I spotted beyond the Kyo belt oh yeah 208 andq sub7 or as I call it Planet Bollywood anyway because of my Discovery People magazine is naming me one of the 30 under 30 to watch right congratulations incredible excuse me with 30 what under 30 what to watch what 30 Visionaries under 30 years of age to watch as they challenge the preconceptions of the fields If I Had a Million guesses I never would have gotten that it's pretty cool they've got me in with a guy who's doing something about hunger and Indonesia and a psychotherapist who's using Dolphins to rehabilitate prisoners and Ellen Paige star of the Charming independent film Juno I'd so do her you'd do the do dolphins do I get an honorable mention for Designing the telescope camera mounting bracket you used sorry it's not part of my heartwarming and personal narrative in which a humble boy from New Delhi overcame poverty and Prejudice and journey to America to reach for the stars poverty your father's a gynecologist he drives a Bentley it's a lease I'm confused was there some sort of peer review committee to determine which scientists would be included peer review it's People magazine people picked me what people the the the the people from people yeah exactly who are these people what are their credentials how are they qualified what makes accidentally noticing a hunk of rock that's been traing around the solar system for billions of years more noteworthy than any other scientific accomplishment made by someone under 30 boy I bet Ellen pig's friends aren giving away this kind of crap you proud of yourself in general yes I still don't see why I need a driver's license Albert Einstein never had a driver's license yeah but Albert Einstein didn't make me wet myself at 40 m an hour yeah and I never wanted to kick Albert Einstein in the nuts you know I got to ask why didn't you just get a license at 16 like everybody else I was otherwise engaged doing what examining perturbative amplitudes and n equals 4 super symmetric theories leading to a reexamination of the ultraviolet properties of multi-loop nal8 supergravity using modern twistor Theory well how about when you were 17 take this to the testing area put your name at the top sign the bottom answer the question and bring it back next next application I'm actually more of a theorist the application in your hand give it to her oh take this to the testing area put your name at the top sign the bottom answer the question and bring it back next excuse me but I have some concerns about these questions look at that sign up there yes does it say I give a damn no that's because I don't just look see this first question makes no sense look how many car links should you leave in front of you when driving there's no possible way to answer that a car length is not a standardized unit of measure look at the sign Sheldon it's C just put down C I don't need your help pending listen to that little girl honey put C next no no wait no hang on CLI this next question Sheldon why are you arguing with the DMV how else are they going to learn look question two when are roadways most slippery now okay there are three answers none of which are correct the correct answer is when covered by a film of liquid sufficient to reduce the coefficient of static friction between the tire and the road to essentially zero but not so deep as to introduce a new source of ction here's your learner permit go away but I'm not done I I have many additional concerns about these questions don't make me climb over this counter come on next AC it congratulations what for your Facebook status update Leonard hoffstead is in a relationship what no no that's that's not right oh man did you switch your status before she did speaking as an expert way to look needy seriously you went first after only two weeks that's bold it's not bold it's a mistake I didn't change my status well then who did I had no choice he cried in front of her you hacked my Facebook account oh it's hardly hacking when you use the same password for everything C are you insane now she's going to think I'm desperate you've destroyed this relationship and you want to know the worst part is you don't even understand what you did wrong because you can't conceive of something that you are not an expert in in which I'm not don't even don't want to hear another word out of you you what's wrong Lassie Timmy fall down the well oh wow she just updated her Facebook status Stephanie Barnett is in a relationship with Leonard hoffstead really look at that I have a girlfriend if I'm permitted to speak again doctor Sheldon Cooper for the win you try too hard look at me what chance do I have if I don't try too hard well you'd have a terrific chance I mean you're smart you're funny you have a cool job you build stuff that goes into outer space I guess no look I'm telling you I've known you for like a year and a half and this is the first time I feel like I'm talking to a real person and you know what I like him he's a nice guy you really think so yes I don't know no I [Music] do this is an auspicious moment you like Robert Oppenheimer or Neil Armstrong we need the appropriate words to mark this historic scientific event how about D toaster dye that'll do it [Applause] [Music] [Music] all right what's next no I think I'm just going to stay in tonight and do laundry Ste the cocko is new at the zoo author Sarah Carpenter lives in Fort Wayne Indiana with her husband and best friend Mark and they're cockus stew probably makes her an expert in making friends wouldn't you agree I don't like birds they scare me me too most people don't see it what are you reading C Storage oh I do like monkeys C Storage is monkey somewhat anthropomorphized but yes say maybe sometime you and I could go see monkeys together would you like that okay Sheldon what are you doing I'm making friends with this little girl what's your name Rebecca hi Rebecca I'm your new friend Sheldon no you're not let's go we were really hitting it off don't look up those cameras oh boy what I can't comment without violating our agreement that I not criticize your work then what was oh boy great restraint on my part there's nothing wrong with the science here perhaps you mean a different thing than I do when you say science okay how's that you actually had it right in the first place once again you fallen for one of my classic pranks bazinga well now here's a peculiar email the president of the University wants me to meet him at his office tomorrow morning at 8:00 a.m. why doesn't say must be an emergency everyone at the University knows I eat breakfast at 8 and move my bows at 8:20 yes how did we live before Twitter I guess you'll find out what it is in the morning that's 14 hours away for the next 840 minutes I'm effectively one of Heisenberg's particles I know where I am or I know how fast I'm going but I can't know both yeah how am I supposed to carry on with this huge annoying thing hovering over my head yeah I know the feeling to begin with you will remove Funny Bone for $200 for this I went to MIT and begin I think I swallowed something P I can't press any of the buttons with my gloves oh son of a adversity is to be expected continue oh boy am I going to get sued okay I can't do this me either gentlemen use your imagination innovate Did Han Solo let Luke Skywalker freeze to death on the ice planet of hath no he cut open a ton on and use its internal body heat to warm him up you heard the man hold him down and I'll cut him open hang on I I know I don't possess the tools of leadership but I don't understand why we can't assemble the equipment inside the hut and then take it outside I hadn't thought of that I guess we're done here having a little trouble catching your breath there no no I'm good if my PE teachers had told me this is what I was training for I would have tried a lot harder do or do not there is no try did you just quote Star Wars I believe I quoted Empire Strikes Back oh my God I am lying in bed with a beautiful woman who can quote Yoda I love you Penny thank you you're welcome I just want to put that out there oh yeah no I I'm I'm glad yeah oh good good glad that is good [Music] yeah no um so it's getting pretty late we should probably go to sleep yeah okay probably okay good night sweetie good [Music] night hey lard where do you come down on giant ants Sheldon says impossible possible how and I say not only possible but as a mode of transportation way cooler than a Batmobile you are ignoring the square Cube law the giant ant would be crushed under the weight of its own exoskeleton and for the record the appropriate ranking of cool modes of transportation is Jetpack hoverboard transporter Batmobile and then giant ant seriously you have nothing better to do than sit around and discuss the possibility of giant ants what's with him perhaps he's at a sensitive point in his monthly cycle are you saying he's manring not literally but as far back as the 17th century scientists observed a 33-day fluctuation in men's hormone levels interesting that might explain my weepy days in the middle of the month you know what I'm talking about I've taken the liberty of having these made for our rematch the Wesley Crushers no not the Wesley Crushers the Wesley Crushers I don't get it Wesley Crusher was Will Wheaton's character on Star Trek still don't get it it's a blindingly clever play on words by appropriating his character's name and adding the S we imply that we'll be The Crushers of Wesley okay I'm sorry honey but the Wesley Crusher sounds like a bunch of people who like Wesley Crusher but no again it's not the Wesley Crushers it's the Wesley Crushers well if you wanted to mean you're crushing Wesley it would be the Wesley Crushers do you people even hear yourselves it's not the Wesley Crushers it's not the Wesley Crushers it's the Wesley Crushers hey look they named their team after me no it's not never mind after you no after you as we are currently crushing you Wesley it's customary for the player on the right hand lane bull first all right it's a custom not a rule I so loath you that's right Sheldon embrace the dark side that's not even from your franchise damn they canceled my Visa Oh yay a new Master Card uhoh what I was going to get my mail okay are are you hoping to get it telepathically I think you mean telekinetically and no I just wasn't sure of the proper protocol now that you and Leonard are no longer having Kus oh God can we please just say no longer seeing each other well we could if it were true but as you live in the same building you see each other all the time the variable which has changed is the kius okay here's the protocall you and I are still friends and you stop saying Kus good good I'm glad we're still still friends really oh yes it was a lot of work to accommodate you in my life I'd hate for that effort to have been in vain right just to be clear do I have to stop saying coitus with everyone or just you everyone say hello to your mother for me okay what said you were going for a walk I didn't say outside so what you're just going to walk up and down the stairs no of course not that would be odd and suspicious Behavior here reckles here boy which way are you going which way are you going I parked my scooter down the block I'm going the other way bye bye actually I'm this way do I smell hot dogs no I mean I have no idea what you smell I definitely smell raw hot dog perhaps you're getting a brain tumor all right have a nice walk bye sh have a nice scoot you might want to stand back I'm sitting on top of 13 horses here oh hello doggy nice doggy I bet you think you smell hot dogs look a cat Penny Penny penny here I had to trade the others for my life we're home it's 10:00 Where Have You Been we stayed for the California Adventure water show it was pure Disney Magic I was going to see that with him how was I supposed to know that it's all right I I'll see it again with you and I have food here you said you were going to call I know I know I can still eat no you're already threw up once go put on your PJs and brush your [Laughter] teeth okay but just don't fight we're not fighting just go aren't you going to thank penny for taking you to Disneyland thank you Penny you're welcome sweetie want a cup of coffee oh um I should probably get going come on it's just a cup of coffee yeah okay yeah the whole thing seems a little twisted to me too what am I smelling Sheldon's churro on my shoes I've been seeing Penny behind your back okay when you say seeing any what exactly does that mean we had dinner last night she made me spaghetti with little hot dogs cut up in it fine why did you have dinner with Penny I told you she made spaghetti with little hot dogs I like spaghetti with little hot dogs then why did you have Chinese food with us I didn't want to upset you Howard made it very clear that my allegiance should be to mail comrades before women who sell their bodies for money is it possible he said bros before H yes but I rephrased it to avoid offending the ho hold what explain your sneeze I'm sorry do you have allergies no is there too much pepper on your salad I don't put pepper on salads I've heard enough sit over there come on I don't want to sit by myself that's what tyho Mary said and clearly her friends buckled guys help me Sheldon come on yeah it's just one sneeze you're on your own see you buddy yes Raj when can I sit with you again when I've seen two consecutive negative throat cultures space 12 hours apart you know the drill all right you'll excuse me I am off to start a prophylactic course of antibiotics I can't believe he's friends with Elizabeth flinton I can't believe they leted him into Canada who you heard the man where's your cultures kidding sit down I'll be playing host to Dr Elizabeth Plimpton the cosmological physicist from Princeton yes and until you acquire a surgical mask please address your comments to me through a napkin we've been coresponding for years about our mutual interest and gravitational wave signatures of inflaton in the early universe and now she's under consideration for a position at our University why didn't you tell me you knew Elizabeth Plimpton I am a huge fan of hers I didn't realize I was obligated to share my connection with things you're a fan of but very well you enjoy Canadian bacon I've been to Toronto okay fine where is she going to sleep my room of course holy crap holy crap I have a two-part question go go ahead a are you kidding me and B seriously are you freaking kidding me a I rarely kid and B when I do kid you will know it by my use of the word Bazinga so you're saying the two of you are going to be sleeping in the same bed yes Bazinga thank you so much for opening up your home to me well who wants to stay in a hotel with windows that don't open those crazy card-shaped keys I'm so glad you understand no he doesn't understand I understand well I understand too you're just misappropriating my understanding I think any University would want you except of course any University that had already had you because they would have already wanted you before they you know got you from the mind that brought you high low let me show you to your room all right I guess I am tired good night Leonard oh sleep night I mean obviously good night I started to say sleep tight then I changed my mind in the middle I swear to God I'm smart get it together ma'am nice to meet you nice to meet you too are you enjoying your stay yes very much good excuse me okay well I guess I should get dressed so I can take everyone to work you and Sheldon and Sheldon's friend Dr Plimpton who you just met it be fun like a clown car hang on yeah what huh we just broke up you and me yeah we did not too long ago how you doing with it not as good as you apparently I I'm I don't follow you know what it's none of my business if you want to sleep with Sheldon's doctor buddy right after we stopped seeing each other go for it well now excuse me I'm uncomfortable with you recommending that Leonard pursue having intercourse with Dr plinton Who I assure you has better things to do I'm not recommending it I'm saying it already happened that's preposterous tell her Leonard well no oh come on it wasn't my fault the implication being that you somehow tripped and fell into her lady parts you know what I'm just going to take the bus to work no I can still drive you oh no no it's okay you might slip on a banana peel and get me pregnant I must say I'm shocked by this betrayal I didn't betray Penny not Penny me how am I betraying you Elizabeth's my friend and you're playing with her yeah I guess I did okay baby doll pink let's see if you can cover up the fact that I got my dad's feet it's just two de Sheldon I just want to turn up the thermostat 2° let me point out that 2° can be the difference between water and steam yes if we lived in a tea kettle this is the temperature you agreed to in the roommate agreement oh screw the roommate agreement no you don't screw the roommate agreement the roommate agreement screws you you know what go to hell and set their thermostat I don't have to go to hell it's 73° I'm there already who is it Leonard hang on can I sleep on your couch tonight uh well you can try but the people across the hall are being very noisy you heard that huh apparently the one fella tried to adjust the thermostat then the other fow went bat crap crazy so you agree he's nuts well not as nuts as the guy who chooses to live with him believe it or not he was worse when I met him I do not believe that yes yeah I'm Leonard hoffstead I called you about the apartment you said it I know what I said I know what you said I know what my mother said on March 5th 1992 what is the sixth noble gas what you said you're a scientist what is the sixth noble gas uh raidon are you asking me or telling me telling you telling you all right next question Kirk or peard oh uh well that's tricky um uh original series over next Generation but peard over Kirk correct you've passed the first barrier to roommate good you may enter oh this is pretty nice uh the bedrooms are back there that depends I don't understand their their existence is conditional no but your ability to perceive their existence is conditional on you passing the second and third barriers there's three each more daunting than the last have a seat okay no that's where I sit explain the couch uh oh well there were some people on the first floor moving out and they sold it to me for $100 Howard and Raj helped me bring it up but what's wrong with the furniture we have they're lawn chairs and there was no place for company did it occur to you that was by Design according to the roommate agreement I'm entitled to allocate 50% of the cubic footage of the common areas but you didn't notice notify me by email so this is still a breach I did notify you oh you did did you rat hoisted by my own spam filter what am I doing your spam folder I put you there after you forwarded me a picture of a cat playing the piano entitled this is funny mix it into tox in order to create a combustible gel that will generate over 8,000 kiltons of thrust won't work excuse me but I've been working on this a long time trust me it'll work you don't see your mistake do you there's no mistake this is for a full scale rocket not a model well I've adjusted the formula not correctly okay I've had it with you you might be an expert on theoretical physics and science fiction programs and where to sit on a freaking couch but this is applied physics and when it comes to Applied Physics uh oh what's happening a bad thing a very bad thing get the door get the door get the door get the door get the door you're waiting for the elevator right wait it's you give me that what' you do that for I had plenty of time you're welcome oh hi what's going on we're up on the roof bounc and Laser dreams off the moon I'm sorry what it's pretty cool we've got a 2 m parabolic reflector and everything I thought you might want to see it that makes no sense how can you bounce stuff off the moon there's no gravity uh Leonard this is Zach Zach Leonard hey sorry I didn't know you were busy maybe another time yeah maybe hey I want to see this laser thing oh but what about the party it's a surprise party it doesn't matter when we get there right okay well yeah come come on up so how did you guys meet my company designs the B juice for the Cheesecake Factory your company well my dad but me my sister are VPS so menus I know it sounds easy but there's a lot of science that goes into designing them there will measure the photons that return and let us see it on this computer Raj get them some glasses cool it's going to be in 3D preparing to fire laser at the Moon make it so there it is there's the spike 2.5 seconds for the light to return that's the moon we hit the Moon that your big experiment all that for a line on the screen yeah but think about what this represents the fact that we can do this is the only way of definitively proving that there are man-made objects on the moon put there by a member of a species that only 60 years before had just invented the airplane what species is that I was wrong Penny can do better okay guys thank you it's been fun yeah thanks should we invite him to the party no just keep walking he must be very skilled at coidus she can do it I can do it she can do it I can do it I can't do it hello hi hey hi Leslie Leonard hofstead what are you doing here uh I know it's been a while yeah 18 months right right how you doing fine you uh not bad do you remember um when we used to have sex and you said that it didn't mean anything it was just for fun yeah do you want want to do that again what happened Blondie dumped you she didn't dump me we were just in different places in the relationship right um anyway apparently it's okay to go back to people you're no longer seeing and have right creational sex with them uh-huh so what do you say let me think about it she's not coming back in a few minutes when I gloat over the failure of this Enterprise how would you prefer I do it the standard I told you so with the classic nener nener or just my normal look of hottie derision you don't know we're wrong yet hotty derision it is excuse me I'm Amy Farah Fowler your Sheldon Cooper hello Amy Farah Fowler I'm sorry to inform you that you've been taken in by unsupportable mathematics designed to pray on the gullible and the lonely additionally I'm being blackmailed with a hidden dirty sock if that was slang I'm unfamiliar with it if it was literal I share your aversion to soiled hosery in any case I'm here because my mother and I have agreed that I will date at least once a year interesting my mother and I have the same agreement about church I don't object to the concept of a deity but I'm baffled by the notion of one that takes attendance and then you might want to avoid East Texas noted now before this goes any further you should know that all forms of physical contact up to an including quitus are off the table May buy you a beverage tpid water please good god what have we done [Music]

Channel: Big Bang Theory

Views: 786,230

Keywords: Comedy, TV, Funny, The Big Bang Theory, Sheldon, Penny, Leonard, Laughing, Warner Bros.

Id: s1IPhnjHpSk

Length: 44min 27sec (2667 seconds)

Published: Mon Jun 10 2024