FRIENDS Funny Moments from Season 9

so when do I get to meet Emma and show her this okay wow uh that Emma's in the nursery I'll thank you now if you want but but I really want to talk to you I know I still need to talk to you oh all right but before you guys do that I need to talk to you and Ross I need to talk to you oh and I need to talk to you about what see if you know what these guys are talking about just open up and put it in your mouth sorry honey what were you saying uh uh yeah look I I think that oh this look she's blown away again do you think my nipples are too big for her mouth she's weird doesn't she look scared you know I don't really know her why don't we try massaging the breast to stimulate the flow okay are you kidding me it's so frustrating why doesn't she want my breasts I don't know maybe she's crazy god seriously you know you really should see someone about that noted I want to go talk to Rachel from there you're going to be okay alone for a bit are you kidding me I could stay and look at her forever actually uh look at her my first grandchild what about Ben well of course Ben I met my first granddaughter sweetie I I um I didn't propose to you I know I don't think you do you didn't propose to me Joey did poor baby you're so tired [Applause] I didn't propose to you Joey didn't propose to you and Chandler didn't propose to you you didn't propose to me Chandler didn't propose to me but Joey did Joey proposed to you I can come back hey you guys I'm gonna take off I just want to say goodbye Rachel said she'd marry you this is the right room sorry folks sorry about everything hey don't worry it was my mistake no rage I should have told you sooner it's just that man that kid is going to town [Laughter] look I didn't want to rush into anything and it seemed like she didn't want to either but I don't I don't understand how how any of this happened what did she find the ring in my jacket assume I was gonna propose throw it on and then just start telling people no no she said you actually proposed to her well I didn't I didn't propose unless did I haven't slept in 40 hours and does sound like something I would do you uh you want me to help you with that why does it look like I'm having trouble with my misshapen cloth name no I know Ross but What's it short for you know like like Russell or rastafar what's wrong it's pretty okay date of birth you know my birthday sure May Timber October 18th occupation dinosaurs actually I'm a palein dinosaurs is fine the drawing is not put aside the fact that you accidentally picked up my grandmother's ring and you accidentally proposed to Rachel can I just stop you right there for a second when people do this I don't really know what that means and I can even understand that you couldn't tell Rachel but why couldn't you tell me huh you had all day two and you didn't I know I should have I'm sorry [Laughter] not using it right Joe Mike [Laughter] hit my mom with a car no I didn't that's okay Mike I have forgiven you and now we're friends again and everything's great what way is your mom okay please we're trying to have a conversation wow you're a lot nicer on Days of Our Lives Days of Our Lives that's why you look so familiar what what what do not know each other of course we do Mike is playing a game that we used to play in high school yeah where we pretend we don't know each other we played all kinds of games hey you remember that one where I punch you in the face for not being cool let me ask you something how many sisters does Joey have six no he doesn't he has seven what are you doing I said seven just have a cold it's definitely not strap thanks doctor you like a lollipop you even have to ask he is alive look I don't normally ask out women that I'm eating coffee houses but uh wow this is hard kind of shy seriously got these you should see something about that cold it gets much worse you could die anyway I would love to go out with you really great did I did I actually ask you oh um that's just where you were going I figured I'd help you out you don't seem like the kind of guy who does this a lot damn it God that you gave it that's wrong nothing I'm excited about our date Mike this is Ross Geller Ross this is sorry I didn't catch it Mike Hannigan hey um so are you sure you're ready to go how do I look like a Pokemon purse no you look great the the the crying didn't turn you off Liberace I just got out of a nine-year relationship with a manic depressive compared to that Phoebe's a Mouseketeer well then I I didn't need to bother you um you or the four other Mike hannigans I bothered one of whom was uh quite large and and a little flirty yeah how can you not remember me what can I remember that we slept together what what I don't know I really really think I would remember sleeping with you come on come on search your brain all right it was a certain amount of time ago okay I was here you were here we had sex here here here not there anything no it's not ringing any bells my God woman how many people do you have to have been with not to remember any of this hey Haley we really gotta fix that door knob Joey slept with you and you obviously remember me hey I still got it so we're good I'll let myself out we'll have to do dinner Thursday night instead Thursday but that's Halloween so it's just spooky that's awesome I would make the reservation for five because one of us has to stay home and watch Emma which one of us should go to dinner oh Rachel uh actually I I was thinking maybe both of us could go Oh yay thanks I'll put a lot of extra thought into your gift all right so great we can all go now that is fun hey you know what we all haven't been together the six of us in such a long time what are you talking about we're all together right now uh mon Chandler's not here oh dear God well well must be five in Tulsa because it's six o'clock in NYC okay this is how much I love you I'm just not sure that you you got the right movie that's all oh this is the only one they had in our video store but they did have something called crocodile killers or does it always have to be sharks does what always have to be sharks honey we could do something else do you want me to get into the tub and thrash What's going on it's okay it's okay I still love you let me be a part of this let me be a part of this Miss Miss okay I'm fine I'll move all right you don't have to manhandle me I swear okay thank you wow will you stop staring at us now but that depends will your friend to stop drinking olive oil directly from the bottle but probably not finally you guys made it James who the hell I'm sorry does the smoke bother you no no no no I smoked for years then I quit right now I can't remember why you're not allowed to smoke in this office though right yes in Oklahoma it's legal to smoke in offices with 15 people two pizzas you don't know what I'm talking about all right look I I don't smoke anymore but if the rest of you want to light up go ahead it's fine so you all smoke then it's almost rude that I'm not smoking well that's not true if you don't want to smoke and please no I can't I can't smoke if I smoke my wife would kill me I'm sorry but isn't your wife back in New York I've always liked you Ken she dropped your sock uh-huh what no Emma dropped your sock how do you know that she's over there mom's with her mom's here I wanted to have lunch with her today she told me she was out of town right acrosity she still has not noticed that the baby sock is on the ground it's a good toast will you please get her attention oh Mommy Mother [Applause] oh for God's sake Judy pick up the song suppose that Chandler will have the smoked duck I suppose the Monica will have the manipulative shrew how did I miss that I'll give you another minute where you going he said she wanted the Shrew yes Ken is it is it true that the reason you're here in Tulsa is that you fell asleep in a meeting and took the job without realizing what you were saying yes to well don't believe everything you hear again but yeah that's true the funniest guy she's ever met I'm funny right what do you know your door you're just like knock-knock jokes save it for inside you got a Manny you know I don't mind a male nanny but I do draw the line of male wet nurse you guys were coming over I would have brought more pizza what is so funny about that I don't know it's it's we're just the way you say it I mean you're funny you got that funny thing you're a funny guy you tell her what we talked about [Applause] yeah I remember I was in my bedroom playing with my dinosaurs playing and learning my father walks in and says he says what are you doing with those things what's wrong with you why aren't you why aren't you outside playing like a like a real boy but you are a real boy I know I am tanked up it's all right listen crying is good it lets the boo who's out here comes the more [Applause] Emma One Day You're Gonna grow up and be a big girl just like your daddy realize how it's a bit unorthodox for some people but I really believe the most satisfying thing you can do with your life is take care of a child okay okay if I get my last job I met Daniel when he was three weeks old and I got to watch him grow into this awesome person when I left I said I'll see you soon and he said to me but Dandy that was his name for me you every day right in yeah kids say all kinds of crap it was like um mm-hmm only only not creepy yeah well what did you do to make her laugh I um well I sang actually I wrapped um Baby Got Back you what you sang to our baby daughter a song about a guy who likes to have sex with women with giant asses you know what if you think about it it actually promotes a healthy uh body image because even big butts or uh juicy doubles are please don't take her away from me I'm starting to make good money on the show and I'm thinking I should probably do something with it what do you do with your money now let's tape to the back of my toilet tank I didn't say that it's in a bag guarded by robots do you have any ideas uh yeah this guy at work got me excited about going in on an emu form that'd be kind of cool huh pitching in on the weekends helping to plant the emus Joe emus or Birds you raise them for meat yeah right Birds but now do they just fly into your mouth or are you going to you're going to a restaurant and say excuse me I'll have a bucket of fried bird or maybe just a wing or these are my parents Theodore and bitsy Theodore Betsy what a delight it's so nice to finally meet you and you your home is lovely thank you I'll give you a tour later it's actually three floors holy crap oh my God is this Emmett uh that's Emma it's a girl hey Amy oh Amy you remember Ross I not really you are much cuter than that geeky guy she used to date that was me no he was this creepy guy from high school who had this huge crush on her since like the ninth grade still me I'm not talking about you come on it was your fat friend's brother with that bad afro your arm okay all so welcome is this the first time you're seeing Emma yeah I think so it's nice to meet you Emma Phoebe the funny noise Stevie writes lots of great songs what was that one you sang the other night that everybody just loved oh pervert parade no oh Ode to a pubic hair stop hey dude you okay sorry about before Oh no that's okay you're totally right I don't know anything about disappointing a child but it did hurt my feelings and I want you to know that if I die you don't get Joey you know why I am not giving Emily to you Emma oh whose side are you on I'm not giving you Emma because there is no way you could handle the responsibility of a child well how hard could it be you do it [Music] but I cannot believe that my so-called sister gets a 30 discount from Ralph Lauren and I still have to pay retail it's 45. you thank yourself you're so be in your your small apartment let me tell you something your baby isn't even that cute too far Amy too far all right look if you can't come home and deal with this then I'm gonna no hurt him [Applause] hear him now no all right I'm going in no wait I heard him again stay there I'm coming home okay great I'll see you when you get here I'm gonna wait out in the hall in case the dude comes up is that really necessary absolutely you do it for me not that you ever have to because I know how to keep my women satisfied yeah listen thanks a lot okay bye he thinks I'm a oh right and you're supposed to be a fireman I know that you're having a little bit of a family crisis but you don't have to take it out on the plates I mean in fact I think that that everyone should uh food like this now see this way you protect the plates and endless plates that you have fun how about this if you guys die and the crazy plate lady dies then do I get the baby oh it's crazy plately if Monica dies then I would get Emma right well actually actually what uh it's just it's just that in that case then um Emma would go to my parents what hurts doesn't it uh who has to die for me to get it you're being here is the best Christmas present I could have ever imagined Now give me my real gift s a donation has been made in your name to the New York City Ballet how did you know [Applause] I can't return this I thought it was time we started thinking about other people God this gift still says I love you guys mine says to Lillian Myers I don't have a job hey buddy all right um can I come back in why well I I was just thinking about how much more we have to talk about what's your love [Music] action I'm sorry sorry I'm sorry I'm just a little nervous yeah well don't be you know what don't worry about if it usually takes me three takes two all right foreign doesn't know Joey she doesn't have time for friends she gets in that operating room and she carries that trade at the doctor because if she doesn't people die who dies man with eye patch can you get in there and you do your job yes doctor okay let's try this one more time hang in there man with eye patch your tray is coming and yes I yes the rest of the scene okay from the top people thank you okay it's baby time pants off things didn't see you there Keller yeah Ross is here so uh-huh yeah uh and I was really hoping that maybe you know I could hang out you know what what do you uh what do you feel like doing well uh we're gonna have sex I don't feel like having sex uh maybe uh I don't know maybe we can watch a movie or something uh let me put it this way we're having sex whether you're here or not pants off Bing where you go for a walk oh you mind if I join you actually uh I'd rather be alone you know I really need to organize my thoughts your thoughts plural all right fine I only have one thought it's about the hot nanny I gotta see her I'm afraid I can't let you do that Joe now you're telling me I can't see you guys are killing me she's forbidden fruit it's like like she's the princess and I'm the stable boy Able Boy never get the princess what do you think you're gonna do huh have sex with her right here on my couch no the leather sticks to my ass you know this isn't fair what makes you think that I'm just gonna sleep with her and then blow her off huh can't you guys open your minds to the possibility that I actually like her and might want something real but the truth is I haven't felt this way about anyone since Rachel okay I didn't think I could ever love again okay go take the test see if we're okay okay hello hello tough crib okay where are all my ovulation steps there's only one here I might have checked to see if I was ovulating Chandler I am not working there's not much to do around here that's it it's over who shot J.R whose shot Jr I have got to get a job I think I'll go downstairs for a while [Applause] it's okay it's okay I didn't go don't cry it's just a bit I'm your uncle Chandler funny is all I have I could go right now go go I can't oh I want to long pause but I can't so sorry you're not supposed to say long pause Oh I thought that was your character's name you know I thought you were like an Indian or something you know no thank you so much for coming in we appreciate it thank you I appreciate it so you don't want me to do it again I could do it uh with an accent you know Southern I could go right now man [Laughter] [Applause] I love your breasts the way they are ah fascist well my breasts are gonna get bigger whether you like it or not and you know what it's not just my breasts my ass is gonna get bigger too your ass and don't be surprised if our hands and her feet get bigger too they do that it's kind of a package deal why why would you want to do that to yourself I thought it was something that we both wanted all right look if it means that much to you I may be able to get on board with the big boobs but the giant ass and the big clown feet Chandler if you can't handle this what are you gonna be like in the hospital with the blood and the screaming and the little person that's shooting out of her what that sounds I can't tell you something I don't know you know I don't know I need an answer now all right all right here you want to answer the answer is she never loved me she only loved you no no that's all along and you never told me you never told me I can never forgive you I can never forgive myself I have nothing to live for a banghead scene absolutely amazing the part is yours congratulations you didn't you did it you can relax now yeah [Laughter] uh rage what's hugsy doing in the crib with Emma oh well she was just crawling around and she found him so I just let her sleep with him that's all right isn't it well of course yeah that's a stuffed animal you know it's four kids not for adults I know that actually are you sure I mean I know how much you love him Rachel let's be clear on this okay I do not love hugsy I like him a normal amount all right well Emma loves him yeah well why wouldn't she he's a wonderful person just one one last time um the marriage thing there's no wiggle room none at all no but you don't want to get married either right right except that I do want to get married didn't have this conversation down at the truck huh you want to get married Sunday and hernia I know the odds are against us but somebody has to win and it could be us and then how are you gonna feel you know we're gonna be all like oh everybody let's take our helicopters up to the cave and you're gonna and you're gonna be all like oh I can't guys I'll meet you up there I gotta gas up the Hyundai look at it I've heard myself on tape and I sound nothing like that I can see the headline now Lottery Winner's friend filled with regret eats own arm why would I eat my own arm well you wouldn't but we own the paper we can print whatever we want let me get this straight I called yesterday to try to cancel my reservation list told it's not refundable then we drove six hours all the way up here and now you're telling me that we don't have a reservation I don't know what to say just give it this room you have unfortunately the only thing we have available is our Deluxe Suite the rate of 600 dollars it was totally insane dude let's drive home we'll hit all the maple candy stores on the way back and if if they're closed then maybe we'll tap a tree and mix them ourselves does that room have a closet I can lock him in you're talking to your car they're Towing your car I'm parked in a garage on Morton towing a car and I am seeing spots oh my God Ross you don't have Emma Rachel you don't have them but where's them wear them up relax did my mother pick her up two hours ago there I was yes and you talk to her I did she dropped off a casserole oh yeah the casserole lady how's it going it could it could better she she fell asleep what but I already bought my ticket to Bermuda Barbados fine I'll rent the car and drive Ross you have to get that job what am I dude he's old in fact he was just talking in his sleep before and evidently he wants someone named Fran to spank him harder well just wake him up I can't if he realizes that I'm the one who put him to sleep I won't get the job oh that's a tough one oh wait a minute this happened to me before yeah I was auditioning for a play and the producer fell asleep I no wait a minute it was me who fell asleep yeah I mean hey Shakespeare how about a chase scene once in a while hello y'all it's time for your massage yeah put put your face in the hole Swedish massage from a real Swedish person okay then I'm Swedish so what's your name it's a normal Swedish name Ikea [Laughter] I don't know what an interesting name yeah you know I'm Contracting your scalp massage wow I really love you is something wrong no it's just um it feels so good Ikea what what am I gonna do my speech gone Chandler it's not gone I mean I'm sure you printed out a copy you have a hard copy right no I don't well you must be pretty mad at yourself right now is he gone yep I'd like to thank you guys for coming down here to complain about the rain and ruin my career I just feel awful yeah you should nude pictures of Anna Kournikova a machine she's never even won a major tournament well I tried Billie Jean King but you know you and Monica have the same I'm gonna kill you look I can usually make you go away by kissing her get out we should probably get going you know we got a lot of ground to cover oh uh isn't there another professor that's supposed to come with us I don't think so I'm pretty sure of Professor spafford from Cornell uh well he's obviously late and the rule in my class is if you can't come on time then don't come at all an option that many of my students use so you don't think we should wait for him oh you know what he's a big boy I'm sure he'll find us okay Professor Geller uh damn it

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Id: 6PYxsUglz1U

Length: 39min 2sec (2342 seconds)

Published: Mon Apr 10 2023