Everything Wrong With The Incredible Hulk

opening credits of scientific wonderment after the last movie Bruce Scott at Norton plastic surgery but still feels the need to hide in a South American jungle Oh Jennifer Kylie looks like Liv Tyler now Sam Elliott unconvincingly changes into William Hurt the plastic surgery epidemic in Hollywood has officially gone off the rails movie presses Delete on the last hole by rehashing new origin story in the opening credits we made a mistake hiring an rtii director like Angley last time now let's get the guy who did transporter 1 & 2 usually we tell you that a newspaper article doesn't match the headline but here I'd like to point out that some local resident claims he saw a green sasquatch and investigators seem to think he's telling the truth is at Newton living in the same house he didn't fight club okay science guy Bruce Banner decides not to check anywhere else figuring and I was probably all of it real smooth Bruce also he stopped the production line but still somehow missed this obvious bottle with blood on it is this movie actually gonna kickstart its plot by saying someone drinks the tiniest bit of Bruce's blood and gets gamma poisoning oh yeah the power of boners will make you decide a hot girl is worth potentially blowing your Hulk secret for not only they should come follow me you know what that's pretty funny and it might make sense if we were in America and a foreigner got hungry and angry confused but in Portuguese hungry and angry are like we different words man chemistry things boredom I just sent my blood to some stranger I don't know face also how did this relationship ever form is there some kind of dark web on the internet for renegade gamma scientists do you post a craigslist ad asking for help with your gamma radiation project and just hope the one other dude alive that can help you seize it Stan Lee oh wait that pulls me out of the movie also if this is Stan Lee in the rebooted Hulk movie which he races the last Hulk movie then who was that Stan Lee in the previous Hulk movie honking both Stan Lee's coexist this Ford is named after my penis but without my permission and I don't need to read any potential responses back from you so golf guy who's trying to help me also Bruce hits five keys on the keyboard and nothing is on screen and then he hits five more keys for a total of ten key presses to type home these military guys must have taught the fast and furious guys when it comes to covering all the exits in a Brazilian slump well you know what maybe don't do sexy undress e stuff in front of an open window huh also she just happens to be the same hot girl Bruce me we hoped out over earlier unnecessary orders it was inevitable this would end up on rooftops wasn't it I mean damn how many times do we need to see this I'm trying to escape product placement oh come on it's like Bruce's escape route is tailored to make him run into every minor character from the factory how is this heart beating 187 times a minute and he still hasn't turned into the hole yet his body is made up of such supposedly volatile stuff that Stanley couldn't even enjoy his Brazilian soda without getting gamma radiation from a tiny drop of blood Jesus this escape takes him to the factory movie is nostalgic about its first 15 minutes give me that I honestly don't care if the special effects are bad please stop cutting away from Hulk every chance you get this happened in the last hole and all we saw was confused reaction shots and it's annoying as hell what Jon's got lucky it's not like every movie needs to follow the jaws model when it comes to showing the monster [ __ ] soldier went to the Prometheus school of running away from things and never once takes any of his side street options the supertrain Russian badass is an awful shop bully misspells the number zero it's [ __ ] went on a rage journey 3,000 plus miles from Brazil to Guatemala Jesus movie acknowledges the old TV show Incredible Hulk theme song but in the show it was David Banner and not Bruce and the last movie had David and Bruce so with those things in the second Stanley my whole world is being blown up right now reboot says you know the flashbacks in the first movie weren't so bad so let's keep doing those this is actually the script of this movie back here on the screen wall banners work was very early phase II thought he was working on radiation resistance excuse me why do you have a scientist work on the Captain America serum and tell him he's working on radiation resistance how do you hope to get what you want if the scientist is testing for something else plus why do you get good scientists to do this when you can easily pay for evil guys is this even relevant anymore Bruce risks a lot just to catch a glimpse of his lady he's literally got to be like 50 yards from some kind of military secret service right Jesus the power of boners use your head shrink that's racist hey there's Lou Ferrigno playing a security guard again this guy used to be the Hulk but into Hulk movies with different origin stories he's paul blart and that's two people he's bribed with pizza movie suggests pizzas a better bribe than money move your reinforces a stereotype that you can easily guess computer passwords of people he used to [ __ ] a long time ago not an anti-virus becomes in this movie the very kind of adware their core product promises to stop antivirus also Ed Norton is using Norton AntiVirus the entire irony is strong with this one Betty Ross and her new boyfriend just happened to show up after hours to the pizza place where Bruce's would you settle for a mr. orange mr. pink isn't in this movie this was basically ty Pharrell's role before Modern Family he'd always be the nice guy who took the main characters girl and had no chance to keep her because everything he didn't said screamed rebound Hey look it started raining just at the time the movie started getting emotional somehow in this big-ass city she found the one man walking in the pouring rain who was also Bruce Banner who also isn't she surely being followed by paranoid patriot act dad's henchmen too much pressure dad got in there before they carted it all the way how you were in the hospital after the incident did they wait until your recovery to start taking stuff out of the lab I don't understand why we can't just go in there together and talk to him you don't military guys continue to be awful at their job give everything away before the operation starts you know how many times does this guy have to get shot before you just say and stop wasting the ammo yeah it should work to be fair it was useless with bullets to help chases after Blonsky instead of just running away which he obviously can do in a blink after running that 3,000 mile craziness at the beginning of the movie where's the gunship does it matter no some serious just went down time to start raining you did the right thing calling how did this guy know that Bruce was with Betty sure he may have suspected earlier that she was looking for Bruce even though that's pretty far-fetched dude but how does that translate into I know for a fact she found him later when driving through the rain he spent the night and they're definitely going to the University the next day if you know all that they could have snatched up Bruce while he was sleeping at Betty's house no need to take you to the hospital we'll see what nature can do for your smoke inhalation and unconsciousness also whoever owns rain machines made a killing on this movie and I never realized before making these sins videos how much the Hulk resembles King Kong in terms of story beats well they didn't really get the CGI any better this time out today shiny hulk with shiny no matter where no decides to relieve stress he always finds the place with the peaceful waterfall hope throws a boulder got hold freaks out over a thunderstorm cuz that's never happened before when he's been Hulk apparently this is basically the same hole we dealt with in the first movie only less shots of trees and fungus it's almost like the universal blamed all the Angley SH for the failure of the last movie and none of the other stuff we didn't like is this supposed to be a surprise I mean nobody said this guy was dead and we kind of figured the serum would give him extra powers so what's with the horror movie villain cliche Bruce I'll get a room you just stay here by the Coke machines okay get my data back you hate it this guy swallowed a flash drive and his stomach acids didn't destroy the thing or make it inoperable Wow sophomores Jack McGee and Jim Wilson witnessed some of the battle Jack McGee is a sophomore in college in the story what is this Incredible Hulk babies the footage the news happens to show is nothing sure he captured exactly what the news shows but are they saying he turned his camera off and didn't get actual footage of the Hulk hey come on are we saying now that sex causes the guy to honk Alan you're making me horny you wouldn't like me when I'm horny also it took all sorts of nonsense to get Bruce at 200 beats per minute earlier in the movie now we're going to include sexist things that get your heart rate to halt changing levels I can't get too excited tell me in all those months in Peru you didn't masturbate once have a nocturnal emission like God man that might be the problem sir it's philosophy I won't tell you what it's about just get over to the emergency room and be stunned by the dramatic reveal um heaps sitting down how are we gonna get where we need to go on $40 and no credit cards that's the exact same question that launched cinemasins actually the alias is mr. green and mr. blue have been added to the shield operations database Bruce decides to title this message something very easy for any spying Security Agency to find okay so he swallowed this bomb flash drive and stomach acid did nothing and the thing still works fine but this is 2008 and he's in bump smoky mountains countryside at a rundown gas station and he found a computer with working internet access and a USB port on the keyboard why are you documenting your fugitive run from the lawn like it's a damn honeymoon I'm assuming this is a secret place anyway so why the privacy Kirk for drama maybe me and a metal tube deep underground with hundreds of people in the most aggressive city in the world let's get a cab you like you're going to encounter 1975 New York down in the subway but damn are we saying you have no control over this beast anymore you took all those breathing classes and everything also of course movie unearths the long-forgotten crazy cab driver drives crazy and his crazy cliche welcome back old friend we haven't missed you why hasn't the military sworn this office already they know who mr. blue is and they know Bruce is coming to meet him so what's the freaking holdup Oh hitting the Machine makes it work cliche things I should have told you before strapping into this table but let's just do this by the seat of our pants shall we it's hard to know because none of our test subjects ever survived how was this a surprise you mean dr. Stearns has been experimenting with Bruce's blood without ever mentioning any of the experiments he conducted and it's not like he's being secretive he's like come on back to my lamp below your blood where we've been studying gamma magic Bruce this is all you you didn't send me much to work with so I had to concentrate it and make more weight is that possible you can make gallons of my blood from one tiny sample because the Red Cross still doing blood drives for then punched a black cliche the mixture could be an abomination you know like what we'll call you is your proper name once you become that general Ross flew off once the mission was done but leaves his bio soldier to run around unchecked so Stern's can inject him with even more gamma goofiness let's eat seems like you wouldn't allow a prisoner especially like Bruce to do this but okay tender moment is tender movie suddenly turns into a more expensive Cloverfield also god alone that villain has the same powers as that he wrote both Marvel did the same year with Iron Man yep he fell in a way that Bruce's blood drops are going to land precisely on his tiny open wound this movie is a dick you should come take a look at this cliche yeah yeah I know he said here but same thing get ahold of yourself man come on like a soldier is going to make that up also stop acting like it's impossible if you just raided a lab owned by a guy who was studying hawk blood and you have an imbalance soldier out there Apollo Theater and movie both experienced Amateur Night at the same time yep that actually is Omar Michael K Williams from The Wire playing I kid you not Harlem bystander years after the wire had premiered so was this blonsky's lifelong dream when he got this kind of power go on a rampage in New York he can do almost anything he wants and it's do what the Cloverfield monster and Godzilla has done I don't know that's the first time any soldier has ever asked that in these movies it's apparently not a Marvel movie if someone isn't free falling to earth from high in the sky above yeah but his human body crashed through the street how did he honk out after he definitely died from that fault how does he even remember why he's here why isn't he fleeing or looking for hot chicks or something Wow someone saw Matrix Revolutions damn it general Ross is one of the most brain-dead characters I've ever witnessed everyone survives this well this isn't exactly rotating around the earth to turn back time but it might as well be hulk stops the region fire with his mighty wind clap it probably should have also knocked the helicopter off the roof it was so forceful but lady doesn't think abomination should be killed for some reason who are all these people especially this mom and her kid going to the place where two giant green things are causing mass destruction everywhere they go yeah better get a closer look at that wait did he want to turn into the Hulk right now but why he's in British Columbia and the only thing he can rage against there is Wolverine also since this movie's Canon within Marvel's The Avengers how does this [ __ ] end up in Calcutta ah the Incredible Hulk the one movie in the Marvel Universe to actually put that post-credit scene at the end of the actual movie instead I could kiss this movie for doing what every other movie should have done its problem with this is it makes the movie official Marvel Canon which is bad for a whole bunch of reasons you're putting it together yeah Tony that's a classic pronoun game nobody in the whole audience knows this we you're talking about or is 1.5 billion worldwide interested in seeing such a thing get more dead to me and your dead mother this is Brazil I can't bring myself to regret the decision to leave home I would miss Phoenix I'd miss the heat what's your favorite dish I'm not gonna cook it but I'll order it from Zanzibar I don't know why you cry but it's something I can never do now I'm gonna count to three if you don't open that case I'm gonna I'm loading your face in the ear here's the question the comics probably answer but I'm too lazy to research if Bruce doesn't shave does he sometimes have a Hulk beard and if so wouldn't all the individual hair is growing width in size but also in distance apart from one another making it an odd puffer fish of a beard or what a bunch of new pores and hairs appear to help cover the now much larger Hulk face regardless I know the folks at Harry's have shaving products that could handle the whole kiyose two beards I've tried it myself and you can too at Harry's Calm using the special code for our fans cinemasins you'll get five dollars off your first purchase it's actually I'm not even mad that's amazing it convenience and affordability of Harry's is obvious but it's an added bonus that the reason reserved such fine quality this is Valyrian steel so whether you make facial hair choices for reasons of style masculinity or plain old laziness like me Harry's has all kinds of 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Channel: CinemaSins

Views: 4,842,798

Keywords: everything wrong with, incredible hulk, cinema sins, the incredible hulk, cinema sins the incredible hulk, everything wrong with the incredible hulk, review, movie review, cinemasins, wave jockey job, ed norton, eww, Tim Roth, abomination, tim roth abomination

Id: Jbhr6hCPsd0

Length: 15min 6sec (906 seconds)

Published: Thu Apr 30 2015

Reddit Comments

[u/DJPizzaBagel]

Somehow it never occurred to me that the various Stan Lee cameos mean that the MCU is populated with at least a dozen clones of the same old man, including one who somehow made his way to the Guardians of the Galaxy planet. If they do a short sometime where all of them get together and fight crime, I will concede that the cameos were in fact justified.

[u/TheNittles]

This movie is actually one of my favorite Marvel movies. It's a small story. No world saving heroics. Bruce just wants to be left alone. The CGI looks fake, sure, but the action is really good. I dunno. I just really like this one for some reason.

[u/Corabal]

Loved that Zanzibar bit at the end, never even noticed that.

[u/jortbru1299]

Still available: HULKKKKKKKKKK

[u/BrotonamoBay]

Hulk fighting another Hulk, good enough for me and as good as you can really do for a Hulk movie (or any super-strength hero when you really think about it).

[u/trevdordurden]

A reliable newspaper article!

[u/Dous91]

I really thought there would be a Reservoir Dogs reference at the end.

[u/borticus]

Thanks for the Laverne & Shirley.

[u/terablast]

Not sure about the hungry/angry sin.

Maybe when Bruce was learning portuguese, he thought he was learning the word ''angry'' when he was actually learning ''hungry'', and that's why he says it wrong?