Everything Wrong With Scoob! In 19 Minutes Or Less

this movie opens with tupac's california love which is not a goddamn kids song unless i see toddlers as pimps on missions for greens an infant hoochie screaming and a teenager throwing up a finger for feeling the same way i guess that would do it you might think that the simplicity of their animation choices would mean there were more resources for writing a captivating plot but you'd be wrong this boombox has two headphone jacks and that is almost as confusing as the decision to animate a person hauling a boombox down venice beach when smartphones have already been invented dude do you really want it back after the dog has stepped on it and it's been rolling on a sidewalk hey watch it not one of these people reacts to a dog riding a meat log with some variation of holy sh did you see that dog log rolling down the sidewalk we won't play the songs but this is the person flips through the radio and or ipod and finds only songs that describe their current situation likely [ __ ] also why does he have an app for every decade on his phone unless this is free get a satellite radio subscription it has all them on there make friends check making friends with sand shaggy's about to eat a sandwich here and i'd like to point out that when we were introduced to him the cop and scooby knocked a burger and fries out of his hands he didn't stop anywhere on the way to the beach so shaggy must have packed this sandwich just in case his burger and fries got ruined this massive slab of meat has rolled down a major tourist street a skate park and a beach the meat slices would at the very least contain gum trash bits pavement particles and five strains of herpes is that peppercorn sand oh my god strange dog you can talk holy crap guys this dog can talk does anybody else find that amazing okay then what's his name i wonder how many people fail this cops what's his name test when it comes to people who find stray dogs you gotta love his very low standards when it comes to dog ownership the dog has a middle name there's no punishment for damages or theft apparently there are no consequences for a dog's actions if the dog has a middle name but it's fair to point out that this attempted humor breaks hundreds of comedy laws oh great now we're gonna have a debate on the internet about whether there's a fist bump or a paw bump and this gets political fast shaggy you and your new friend better hurry up if you want to trick-or-treat there are thousands of unrealistic things that happen in this movie but perhaps the most ridiculous amongst them is asking us to believe that a parent would immediately go along with their kid coming home from venice beach with a stray dog new scooby-doo movie introduces characters from long forgotten hanna-barbera cartoons in an effort to start some sort of scooby-dooniverse or sdu what's this it's a bed you sleep in it you do with this perching on a stool a few feet away you sleep halloween bullies man i thought the human race learned their lesson after these people were exposed by hocus pocus blood sugar will thank guys and just like that the bully pendulum has swung from horribly cruel to caring for your health can we just find a middle ground are you guys all right muppet babies flintstone kids and this movie all tell a lie that the friends you grew up with will be your friends for life one or two people maybe oh mystery machine hell no also why does daphne look 25 let me give you a hand fred's costume makes a metallic squeak when he leans over to help shaggy up off the pavement and that forces me to wonder if he's wearing actual goddamn armor who the [ __ ] has the money to buy their kid real armor i'm ruth vader ginsburg obviously um you could also be sonia sotomayor so it's not obvious velma even if you tell me this part of the movie is set before she became a supreme court justice just wearing a robe and carrying a gavel doesn't make you ruth bader ginsburg i found out recently ghost or no ghost it's halloween no one should go home without their candy yes superfans want to see the gang's first caper but i want to know why you wouldn't just get back to tricking and treating not like all the houses just flipped off their porch lights for the night and what are velma daphne and fred doing out here they have zero bags of candy they're trotting around the neighborhood judging people aren't they i knew it there was no way that the candy landed smack in the middle of this house when the anti-corporation health-conscious bullies threw the candy into the house it landed just inside this window at an angle that was militantly anti-middle of the house also i know that nobody gives a [ __ ] but you can't chill me half the windows boarded up on the outside of the house and then bam when we go inside of the house none of the windows are boarded there are four windows instead of three and they're all in different shape so this wardrobe door opens and shuts scaring the kids and reinforces the idea that this house is haunted but it's all a ploy by the owner to keep people away from the house because he's been stealing electronics and hoarding them in a secret room never mind that these kids were leaving this guy wanted them to be frightened of the house sure you don't want them running around telling everyone it's not haunted because then you'll have tons of kids stopping by to check out a not haunted house and they'd eventually find the stolen goods and arc about it but if this guy was so worried about people walking into the house why does he keep his gate open on halloween no less when i rank all the unrealistic technology from this movie in order of what i want most a high-powered precision smartphone flashlight will be at the top go get help or and this may be a crazy idea call someone on your phone yeah of course he's flying around on a cable attached to a gizmo on the ceiling to make it look like he's a ghost this should have been obvious from the get-go but somehow the cable wasn't visible until they climbed the stairs see kids it's fine because this is a real person in a mask hanging from a zip line tied to a grid on the ceiling forget that he defied gravity and clung to the wall like a spider a moment ago that is simply irrelevant velma and daphne dressed up as ruth bader ginsburg and wonder woman tying up a fake ghost this beats my fanfiction oh hey look this creepy house has silhouettes of fred and wilma flintstone hanging up in it isn't it great when electronics thieves believe in the brand oh whoopee a diner movie's introduction of simon cowell as an investor makes me think this came out in 2004 but nope movie came out in 2020. fred you're the tank the muscle how does simon cowell know what fred and the rest of the crew represents in this mystery solving team are their adventures televised like they are in the real world or is simon cowell been observing them on their cases and taking notes i can't invest with these two involved just like every modern scooby adaptation the story starts with the idea that shaggy and scooby are worthless and so the whole plot kicks into gear because shag and scoob have to prove they're not worthless can we just have a normal adventure without the wink-wink self-aware nonsense i don't know why these robot things went through the subterfuge of disguising themselves as bowling balls and pins especially in a bowling alley that has no other customers but i guess it looks super cool on paper there is no one at this bowling alley and yet they have 66 hot dogs and 24 hot dog buns just ready to go that's 231 hot dog waste also the menu reveals why some people should never be allowed to price items how are you going to sell a chili hot dog for the same price as a regular hot dog oh no we're out of calamari i'm guessing shaggy ordered the calamari earlier and that's why he knows the bowling alley is out of it but i took a good look at the menu and i don't see calamari mentioned anywhere also bowling alley calamari somewhere in this universe there's a truck driver who was partially done picking up trash looked up at their wonky parking job and said ah i'm just gonna walk home and abandon their work truck in the alley also why can't shaggy and scooby run around the trash there are murder robots on their heels and stinky trash stops them there's room run around it hey this is a door that goes out into an alley why would it be locked on the inside and why do the robots bother cutting after they get past where the bolt would be is it because they can't use a door handle deus ex barbara i'm dd skies pilot of the falcon fury i've abandoned my post at the helm to greet you in an elaborate introduction to a new character that nobody remembers isn't this fun blue falcon suit has a bigger red f on the chest and as well as uh scaly congratulations shaggy you're the biggest blue falcon nerd ever and you're also right somewhat but why would you doubt that this is blue falcon based on some very minor thing also both of you were absolutely starstruck the entire time blue falcon made his entrance if you were real fans you would have never been starstruck by this imposter wow what was that for making sure this isn't a dream if scooby can't say shaggy then how can he say sure everything is a lie nobody gets away from dick dastardly right rottens dastardly calls his underlings rottens we know they're just discount minions and you know how we feel about minions around here look i don't know enough about physics to really make a call about this kind of thing i feel like the harpoons are dug in too deep and at too odd of an angle for this maneuver to work without causing serious damage to the ship one way or another this escape is [ __ ] and then this blue light came down from the sky and beamed them up how do you know that you were inside the bowling alley not paying attention to the robot attack i don't know what would have happened to make you go outside and see the spaceship beam them up so you're an [ __ ] for even suggesting you saw it they look like what's in this box where did you get a rotten the only one that died during the whole attack was the one that got slammed by the dumpster and it definitely wasn't this intact and you couldn't have possibly retrieved it from there you might think it was one of the robots that got stuck in the exit door but none of them died either maybe this can lead us to our culprit and despite this robot being found below a trash can likely surrounded by any number of hairs this curly boob does in fact lead them to their culprit you know how some animators will slyly slip in an easter egg or a subtle wink to their animation team yeah the warner's production designer was like that i will tattoo my name on this huh trace amounts of mustache oil 12 year old scotch so this being a pubes still in the running then also why would the computer that gives information like this give it to a human in ones and zeros and how is she reading binary code anyway composition is a mix of arsenic selenium and coppertone spf 50. how [ __ ] you no it isn't also why she's still wearing her magnifying glass you don't have to read this receipt with a magnifying glass there's no zooming and enhancing native the numbers are large enough for fred to read from the front seat i'll see if the combination of these elements matches a geographical location you typed arsenic selenium and coppertone spf 50 into a search engine and it came up with an exact geographical location also you typed coppertone into the search field coppertom a nothing made up word this mug shot of dick dastardly lists an alias of richard dasterly that isn't an alias felonious gru would be an alias warner would get sued but it would be an alias on march 27 2020 dick dasterly was charged with looting historical artifacts in peru but on the same day he was somehow charged with tripping old ladies in nigeria and while i'm not saying that it's impossible he could do that in one day i am saying i'd prefer to see that movie dastardly yells at one of his rottens for unsuccessfully kidnapping scooby-doo and i just wonder why he couldn't just do this job himself a minute ago we saw footage of him stealing one of the skulls he's obviously not opposed to getting his hands dirty to find the second skull i'm searching every possible location with high fossil density too bad velma's in here to help find the second skull she could just go to lookie up and type in three things to get instant results and sweet it's our signature dessert his signature movie expects me to believe that techy nerds like dd and dino mutt wouldn't have figured this out without a dr house moment artificially making shaggy and scooby important sir we really should go to the gobi desert but they're not because blue falca is stupid which makes me wonder why they don't just go to the gobi desert and tell him it's romanian that's how stupid this guy is i would be like yeah i don't know romania has a weird summer season where it's hot and becomes a desert has something to do with the earth's poles how did scooby's dna end up in a kennel club registry how do you trace the genealogy of dogs all the way back to alexander the great this made-up fictional cartoon kids movie is making me unreasonably angry hooray we've arrived at an abandoned amusement park with an english title in romania super did dastardly get the anonymous tip too listen if you're going to establish that your ship can scan for dastardly earlier in the movie then i have to point out how lazy it is that anyone would be surprised by a sudden appearance here follow your own rules just reminding everyone that this very movie has said that dastardly needs scooby alive but his robot dicks are shooting at him like nothing matters shaggy and scooby give a physical representation of what responding to youtube comments is like i get the feeling that the robot's ability to fly isn't really important for the plot anymore oh looks like that old collar is in the way of the chest panel i mean you'd think the machine can create a super suit out of thin air could just find a way to build it without scoopy taking his collar off but it's way better for the machine if it removes a symbol of your friendship my blue falcon confidence pack retails for 99.95 derek jeter is there any reason why dastardly disguised himself as a hot chick wouldn't virtually any kind of human disguise work if he was posing as a cop and why bother with any kind of disguise anyway why did he need the element of surprise i mean later his ship just pulls the van up into the sky he could have done that without removing them from the van in the first place damn this is stupid how did you find us better question how did dastardly manage to contort his skeleton in such a way that his neck juts out on the same horizontal line as his scapula finest asterisk former sidekick running around in the jail area oh [ __ ] i know why i don't even know why else is kind of questioned anymore now reveal the final skull to me oh so the two skulls can shoot out green laser beams that point to the location of the last skull seems like that negates the reason why the skulls were separated in the first place which is a backstory i don't think i ever heard anyway this is one of those just go along with it movies and as you know i'm not nearly chill enough to enjoy that kind of thing all velma did was touch two wires together how does any of this hack in a dynomut this is an old radio why are my hands staplers scoob's clearly important to whatever dastardly's got planned we need them i expect blue falcon not to think logically but dd and dynamite don't say one word about how it would probably be better if scooby wasn't anywhere near dastardly during this whole thing they could have flown him to nebraska and kept him out of the way well what happened to us us the protagonists fight just before the third act cliche arrive just in time to screw it hello i love tracy morgan and all but making him the voice of captain caveman is just weird in fact a lot of the voice work here is just off it won't read that way to a four-year-old but who gives a [ __ ] about four-year-olds am i right scooby's collar shows up as a sentimental order to get shaggy back into the action and what heartless bastard decided this needed to go into a dish marked for incineration also is this is this trey be pushed by a hologram this is dastardly posing as fred so how did the blue falcon crew get here ahead of him velma told dd where dash they was going and he had a huge head start but but how can they see when their lower eyelashes sprout out dreads that defy gravity and continue upward over their heads and then cascade down the back as if they are some kind of hair veil dress how does this work i know i'm small it's a pejoratory thing someone in this group of isles cavemen has discovered and identified a pea-sized pituitary gland the pituitary gland so wait all the other times you've been running around naked you've had no shame but now that your superhero costume was ripped off now you're embarrassed remember when dede and everybody were looking for the skull in the middle of the woods a minute ago they couldn't find it anywhere they listed scooby to look for it and he ended up finding captain caveman so how did fred dastardly and shaggy find it driving around in a van did they drive through the jungle in that piece of so dastardly said he needed fred for a special purpose which turned out to be so he could impersonate him but he had no idea that he'd wanted a shaggy moping around on the blue falcon ship when he got there furthermore we've already covered how shaggy had no chance in hell of knowing where everybody went after they left so this is yet another dastardly disguise that makes no sense and didn't need to happen in his dump movie tries to tell us that nobody could find the skull because it was buried underneath a mountain or some this ship flying over captain caveman stadium where the skull is completely exposed and easily seen makes this movie a liar just because you catch people and save them from hitting the ground does not mean they wouldn't still die from the impact of the fall in fact it's total nonsense that they could catch them just to be clear this means falcon carried fred the entire way without untying him don't you point your finger at me well don't double point your finger at me there are entirely too many vacuous characters in this movie if these guys weren't wearing different suits i wouldn't be able to tell them apart girl who doesn't pay for her apple before biting into it is an [ __ ] but the director said let's make your character eat an apple it'll make you look like even more of an [ __ ] it's kind of amazing dastardly can just fly around in his ship and go to major cities and nobody's military even notices and this is a highly wanted man that people know flies around and ship all over the world even after dyno much slows the van from crashing too hard it falls from a height that would cause death or injury i guess now this is a stupidest suicide squad so it's at least got that going forward uh-oh little more than i'd bargained for but didn't velma know that opening up the vault would unleash monsters based on stuff that dastardly had hanging up in a room on a ship how to dastardly miss that sure we can say he's dumb but he knew that a descendant of alexander the great's dog could open the vault and knew how to trace the genealogy to scooby-doo well he can't be a complete idiot also let's talk about alexander the great's plan he stored all his treasure in the underworld requiring you to find the three skulls of cerberus spread around the world and requiring his or his dog's descendants to open it and your reward for finding it is you unleash demons man why not just not do this it's gotta be one of the worst things about this movie the plot is about how shag and scooby are worthless and needed to prove themselves but the whole movie has shown almost none of them except velma have any real worth when it comes to mystery solving philman fred you get to the gate and uh figure out how to close it and we'll distract cerberus great idea guys shaggy tells them in this plan where he and scooby distract cerberus while they figure out how to close the gate and they think it's a great idea for some reason even though closing the gate would likely require scooby gooby caninabalism so this [ __ ] waited all his life to get alexander the great's treasure and he's going to be satisfied with a treasure chest and an armful of gold bars give him points for not being greedy but damn spent all that time locating skulls and finding a descendant of alexander the great's dog and you only take that much the short version of this is the riddle describes shaggy and scooby alexander the great only required one descendant to open the vault but it requires a man and his dog to close it and hopefully they have some sort of undying friendship or some it's exhausting nonsense also how did alexander the great become the gatekeeper of the underworld how did he negotiate terms in that deal one of you has to hold the gates shut here while one of you locks them from inside the underworld this is the dumbest ever hey you can have my treasure but it requires one of my descendants to open the vault and oh yeah when the vault opens it's going to unleash a three-headed dog monster from the underworld and i'll let you close the door back but you have to lose your best friend forever by the way the human doesn't have to be my descendant it can be just some stoner that helps solve mysteries anyway you're going to be real sad if you open this vault without reading all the directions first also maybe call grace and see if they have something that can lock that door forever before you sacrifice anybody cerberus isn't an all-powerful being you guys physically knocked him back into the underworld using bowling balls seems like he could maybe tie a bunch of cables around this door and make sure cerberus can't go through it again maybe push a couch up against it this is just some [ __ ] placing his hand on the panel how does it know he's got a dog that he loves i didn't know magic panels could verify the bond with your dog just by doing a palm reading also the three cerberus skulls are what made all this appear in the first place why aren't they important anymore are we missing something a pair whose friendship forever grows oh sure let's talk about this now it's not like you didn't have time to think about this why would alexander make a gate that would separate him from his best friend forever he must have built a way out alexander did build a way out but why did he build a way to go in in the first place maggie you promised you'd never leave come home yeah and you promised you'd never take the caller off but look where we are now scooby pleads with a statue that came out of nowhere to bring shaggy back and that works honestly alexander the great created a gateway to his treasure that lent itself to the maximum emotional impact a screenplay could ask for also it's a good thing that the mystery ink crew didn't leave before this statue appeared and they had someone who could translate greek on their team and can you imagine what this would have been like for a guy who only had lukewarm feelings about his dog and vice versa i still think they could have found a dead person to press their hand on that panel and all would have been fine i finally figured out what you guys are you're the heart of mystery inc too bad heart doesn't solve mysteries seriously this movie wastes our time by unmasking dastardly and exposing simon cowell only to unmask him again to find out it was dastardly all along how could he have time to judge the world's greatest talent shows and build a giant airship velma is right but her logic is faulty it's not like simon cowell is always judging talent shows why did mr ink even need a brick and mortar shop for their business were they losing clients based on that how much money does it take to pay rent in venice beach the [ __ ] this is what velma's laptop screen looks like in 2020 and oh look she's got a file for hot dog recipes you know for the comedy hey dusty watch the shop please after all there are so many people out there who need to visit our expensive beachfront store property about their supernatural cases but simon cowell is footing the bill so [ __ ] it we're going to federal pound me in the prison for some reason you all want to wear the cinemasins pitchfork m on your body so we slapped that [ __ ] on some new merch and threw it in the store posters hoodies tanks socks click on the merch below the youtube player or click the store link at cinemasins.com i only eat protein shakes and fiber drinks dude you couldn't win this competition if you were the only person in it welcome to ghetto burger home of the good burger can i take your order and for you sweet tea the [ __ ] you are you've got one job hal i'm the guy who does his job you must be the other guy next you'll be laying a guilt trip on me for not oiling that ferris wheel curiously the only thing that went through the mind of the bowl of petunias as it fell was oh no not again she touched my peppy steve now comes the part where we throw our heads back and laugh something in the room and i'll [ __ ] it for you come on just tell me what you want me to just tell me what you [Music] something you carry something made of gold but far more crazy

Channel: CinemaSins

Views: 1,370,832

Rating: 4.9231253 out of 5

Keywords: everything wrong with, eww, cinemasins, movie, review, movie review, scoob, everything wrong with scoob, eww scoob, scooby doo, scoob movie, scoob movie review, scoob 2020, scoob!, animation, animated movies, scooby doo review, scooby doo where are you theme song, scoob! movie, fred, velma, shaggy, daphne, scooby and shaggy, zac efron, will forte, mystery machine

Id: V12WJ703B_Y

Length: 20min 21sec (1221 seconds)

Published: Tue Aug 18 2020

Reddit Comments

[u/ROBOT_B9]

I zoned out halfway through this movie, did they seriously say that Muttley wound up in hell?! That puts Catch the Pigeon in a whole new light...

[u/Tmart5150]

+1000 sins for me.