Everything Wrong With Scooby Doo In 15 Minutes Or Less

[Music] we hear the Scoobies laugh but there's no Scooby which leads me to believe this was a haunting image for some younger children that assumed scooby-doo might be brewed also AOL great I was just in the middle of writing a hilarious joke about this updated theme song being sung by what had to have been Smash Mouth and Shaggy interrupts it also using Shaggy the musician for your theme song isn't that a little on the nose expositional scary pics or it didn't happen also trust me folks time to settle in for a long stretch of butt fartin poop jokes that would make the Garbage Pail Kids groan when the lunar ghost rounds the corner with Daphne I assume the next thing Velma says here is something about how this curious accent never shows up again for the rest of the movie there's a ghost I understand Shaggy and Scooby are scaredy cats but they were literally supposed to confront the ghost as part of the plan Velma just referenced doesn't matter how dumb the plan actually is they're willing participants Scooby and Shaggy survive this does this barrel not have a lid on either end also Matthew Lillard is six three and would have nothing to hold on to in the barrel so not only should his head be sticking out of the top that barrel is defying gravity by being up that high this is the most fun and the most dangerous toy factory in existence like who keeps a [ __ ] skateboard right next to heavy machinery Oh should have a field day in here this entire movie could be one giant this works in so let's just go ahead and give it five extra sins here and yes this is supposed to be essentially a live-action cartoon but it's supposed to take place in the real world so movie can't have its Scooby Snacks and smoke them too let me get this straight this highly mobile ghost character has at least five full seconds in the spa and turns around twice to see and hear a screaming barrel of dew headed right for but does Jackson to move out of the way also what was the ghost plant he's been menacing a couple of times but otherwise he's just been flying around the factory with Daphne on his hip the only way this movie could be more 2002 was if Mel Gibson Frankie Muniz and that dude you're getting a Dell guy we're walking with Pam here how could you Pamela I am a lover boy of George Clooney and proportions this is a kids movie right because old man Smithers is judge following up in this scene for a group of people that dismiss the supernatural on a daily basis they sure have no issue with the [ __ ] animal being able to talk I whoa movie not only did you blow your wad on that whole monster reveal story and Pamela Anderson you're now throwing a protagonist argue for no reason before the climax of the movie cliche slow your roll man wait so where did the rest of the crew go or several years before uber and lyft and I doubt there's a stream of cabs waiting around this factory district shaggy couldn't have offered them all right this is one of the many references to Scooby and Shaggy being high and having the munchies all the time so considering this fake out I assume they've switched to edibles updating Fred's look to be more 2002 Freddie Prinze jr. is definitely the funniest part of this movie you really get the sense that sarah michelle gellar just kept all the purple items from the wardrobe of the cruel intention set I'm a black belt now I've transformed my body into a dangerous weapon Daphne the Vampire Slayer why does Scooby have to dress up in kognito not only is he well known to the world a la Ted he's the one soul that the villain needs at the end of the movie what happens if he gets discovered by the flight staff here nothing that's what would you mind me taking a seat there next to the fact that the filmmakers went out and got talented people like Isla Fisher and Matthew Lillard is commendable but since they stuck them in two thankless roles in a scooby-doo movie say did I show I'm pretty sure grandma wants to go back and visit with their old pal Velma what kind of freewheeling seat swinging airline is this I know man to various owns the plane but it's also supposed to be full not subject to to seat changes in the last three minutes any change man I want a smoke you I mean lick you I mean sports so did he eat the kitty like did the movie seriously just pan over to the start of the island without any resolution on the life of the cat or the ruse that got Scooby on the plane I mean this is after 9/11 five media one colophon oh I can go I guess it's in Rowan Atkinson's contract for every movie that he must have at least one mr. bean moment casual assault battery in full view with public is super casual and my heart tattoo was drawn by a drunken fourteen-year-old bassist from my favorite black metal band oh you might recognize him as the same person I introduced him as the Velma has a raging mystery boner right now why doesn't she ask these kids what they're clearly chanting she's already been questioning folks no okay everyone's accepting that scooby-doo can talk but how the [ __ ] did he learn to read I guess some of the CGI here wasn't bad in 2002 but by relying this much on it you're guaranteeing that it's gonna look dated in a few years and straight-up be a few years after that lazy not shot jokes they're not just for humans anymore what exactly is the theme for spooky Island I'm not sure I understand how a rabbit is spooky or has anything to do with an island shaggy not that I mind but they sure did sex up these characters for this movie like Daphne's dresses cut solo I can see her hold xiphoid process there you go there's plenty more where that came from but is there that first looks like it could fit two or three Scooby Snacks and it max also why does definitely even have Scooby Snacks as far as she knew she was coming to this island alone don't they want to keep people out of the spooky castle if it's this easy to get in here there should be at least 17 of those horned up college students up here for each other nothing I was always picked last for the teams geez I must have forgotten how much teeny melodramatic hyperbole there was in the original scooby-doo series it's like a medieval sizzler pretty sure at this point the sizzler is like a medieval sizzler I'm a man of substance the dorky chicks like you turn me on - that's racist - are you telling me that this whole house of horrors is controlled with one switch and if it is why is everything coming on at different times how would they know where each character was why isn't anyone from the party noticing that big castle at the top of the hill is suddenly extremely well lit I have so many questions whoa is this actually part of the ride why would they even have the sausages do this and how would they do it I don't know you kind of track when they pull Scooby and Shaggy back so mondo various just created flying sausages and the insurance premiums for this place have to have been through the roof they had to have been at least a couple deaths on the books yeah just run through those sharp things when they're slowly swinging out of the way which should be like really easy to do Daphne comes inches away from death even though she could have just dropped off the ride at any point before now wait but what about the little person that was standing right there when Fred broke through the glass he didn't even notice that [ __ ] and if so isn't that also racist god Fred sucks luckily for the gang and our exposition Fred hits a random button on this box and it immediately starts playing the training video from the very beginning I'm up to snuff on all popular trends word movie predicts the Brent Rambo thumbs-up gift from many years later wherever there's a brainwashing cult there's always a power-hungry leader behind it all the Papa Smurf figure so the Smurfs are still a cartoon in a world where mystery Inc is a real thing what about Monchichi are you challenging me yes yes he is and a movie that's 79 minutes long and has yet to introduce major character scrappy-doo well now spend over a full minute to indulge in a perk contest we're here to solve a mystery yeah how about the mystery of violent turned on and tried to kill you a few minutes ago anyone interested about why that happened I got a plan hmmm what's this yes I realize this based on a cartoon that used to play loose with physics and hallway doors but the movie has set up a fairly realistic universe therefore I thus degree that this medieval switcheroo in this castle is both a - called swell up and tummy rub hi oh no the bad guys literally just walked away how did they not hear Shaggy's digestive issues ha ha ha yeah we just discovered a potential death cult and we're almost abducted by seriously evil men that still control this island and Daphne almost got impaled and Fred almost sliced his yarbles off let's not say take the artifact back to the room and study it let's make sure we do it in the most public place possible so the bad guys can catch Velma doing it I think this describes a very old race of creatures jeez Velma didn't you just meet this dude I thought detectives were supposed to keep things pretty [ __ ] confidential during an investigation especially you know one where lots of people could have their souls sucked out of their bodies also I know Velma's smart but she hasn't done any research at this point so how would she know any of this alright movie despite my complaints I was with you up to this point since it's an interesting concept talented performers and a few decent jokes but you just had to introduce the most annoying character from the series out of nowhere you moving you right in the ear hole ah I see that Mary Jane recently slipped into something more this very same thing you've done since you decided to clean your beans at dawn not just Christmas party this joke must have landed well for all the seven-year-old Don Knotts fans in 2002 these [ __ ] do this with every group of kids that comes in if so the contracting expenses would be outrageous sure they survive this because of the convenient ask tarp that nobody knew about but there were no injuries from the glass the frame the bounce or the eventual landing well we do have a unit in the vicinity can you meet him at the pier this guy clearly went to the shining school for people who futile Ian lifelessly help people in trouble in remote locations using CB radio it's good Angela than everything well then I doubt the scariest part of this theme park is sugar ray yo-yo impressively Freddie managed to sneak this line into his wedding vows to Sarah Michelle but then when I put on the ruse of the beach party and the sugar ring and the other if this is like invasion of the Body Snatchers and all of them are supposed to be poppy besides movie magic bullsh how in the ever-loving did both Scooby and Shaggy jump through this door at an angle not only would it be impossible to get up enough speed in that tiny Shack there was no ramp at the door Shaggy and c3po are clearly in competition for the worst forced movie puns even though Scooby's been speaking in almost perfect English this entire movie we must have this blatant miscommunication for the end of the movie to come about I mean does it really [ __ ] matter with knowing her identity really affect the outcome here return to my body and how does Velma know this will work she's an expert on protoplasm leaving a body now - also the thing that's seriously a bowl of actual souls look the most fun parts about Scooby Doo episodes back in the day we're finding out a who did it and B how they did it and it was almost always some sort of non supernatural technical method sure they yadi added some stuff but most of it made sense and the point was that mystery Inc used their brains to solve the mystery this salt swamp a demon army bolt is not just ruining this movie it's ruining my childhood memories dammit ok I'm almost certain the only reason they decided to put a new soul into Velma's body was to somehow justify this low-cut revision to her classic sweater just as we could see more of her carnally knees acne you okay yeah but I'm not Daphne ah just what this mystery phantasmagorical drunk needed body switch humor hey I can look at myself naked and the first thing that comes to mind for Fred is to immediately sexually assault his close friend and colleagues body again Fred's blaming they can't do the ritual without a pure human soul I didn't say human okay look I love dogs and this is kind of like an emotional scene but also is scooby Doo necessarily pure of soul like he's a good dog and all but he definitely smokes a lot of drugs is indulgent and occasionally an [ __ ] like when he tried to fight Shaggy a few minutes ago I'm not saying he's definitely not worthy I'm just wondering if he was the best horse or dog to bet the entire dark pocalypse on so I'm gonna do what I always do I'm gonna eat my Selma Scooby Snack but I'm gonna say my best pal is that what you always do those shanks seems to me it's more like I'm gonna try and save Scooby get up but within the up will miraculously save ourselves you think I'm gonna fall for that trying to make me feel like part of the game dude everyone in this gang has their own thing Scooby and Shaggy are this Daphne's the good-looking but trying too hard one thread is the conceded leader that's not too bright and you're the smart one given your one well in this movie three character traits how did you not figure this out let's get kinky with holy I think I sighed so loud that I broke my xiphoid process did everyone on the island go like isn't everyone else at demon now but they're not hanging out at the most populous place on the beach in the hopes they'll run into a few people who could stop their plan for dominance Jesus in Christ they've had time to set up an entire pulley system couldn't Shaggy have already done this when he was releasing Fred Velma and Daphne's heads it could have just released everyone else's and all the monsters would have been vanquished by sunlight and everyone would have been saved I get that they're trying to butter Scooby up for this sacrifice but all the minions supposed to be soulless [ __ ] with limited vocabulary this movie is unnecessarily complicated I'm really sorry I haven't been a very good friend since we got here but listen to me bro you gotta trust me now the speech must be so convincing that it embolden all the other people carrying the shrine to ignore it most of whom are less than 6 inches away and well within earshot only that [ __ ] just stole Scooby [ __ ] do soul this movie in all the ways that who the daemon righteous I shall absorb the energy soul man this ending sure does feel Suicide Squad II doesn't it all it needs is a fire God and for Will Smith to say something extremely sexist look a man in a mask Fred sees a small cut then immediately decides to tear this mother for his entire face off Jesus this movie is dark power sure if there was something in this movie that we didn't get enough of it was the ability of scrappy-doo to be super annoying I have a strong feeling that if you mix this movie a certain way it could end up as legit porno The Matrix is a good movie but seriously the matrix were ruining the majority of fight scenes for the next 10 plus years wow this is the biggest character switch isla Fisher will play until she tells Vince Vaughn that she's actually not a virgin in wedding crashers so this whole Daphne getting captured is just worldwide knowledge are the mystery ink antics covered on Telemundo so the plan just accidentally late they set up a good trap to make this happen but everything went wrong from the pulley system being broke to Daphne pretty much getting lost and her ass kicked above ground but hey kids movie from 2002 right yeah not my soul isn't stolen in this literal hell ho I'm gonna party the kind of a party tonight Spring Break and this is how we got Sarah Michelle Prince 3 also there was zero romantic tension built up between these two for the entire film but movies got a movie I guess I'm not doing okay just for the sake of nostalgia and the level of fawn Matthew Lillard puts into these shaggy performances I'll take us in off but seriously this movie through the combined intuitive powers mystery Inc we've discovered that the real villain behind this mystery is in fact scrappy Cornelius do but also the ability to remove Souls right like isn't that the main issue here that there's an ability to separate the soul from its human host you lead with that there's nobody I'd rather gorge myself with then you scooby-doo Oh terrific not only did we get a post-credits sequence in this stupid-ass movie it's an exact replica of that restaurant scene from Dumb & Dumber we're not gonna do it you can put it anywhere I'm gonna get to work translating these inscriptions that Daphne found I'll go research cults on the net with that girl from the bus [Music] so ready to take it to the next level - you want to watch me with a girl what about those Brazilian I touch them [Music] maniacal laugh whatever the case wherever there is injustice you will find us

Channel: CinemaSins

Views: 4,629,277

Keywords: everything wrong with, review, scooby, scrappy doo, cinemasins, wave jockey job, eww, scooby doo, cinema sins, movie, mistakes

Id: rSovRS_YU_o

Length: 15min 50sec (950 seconds)

Published: Thu May 17 2018