Everything Wrong With Migration in 18 Minutes or Less

kazoom cast and now for a bedtime story what is it with animated films always starting by using narration to construct themselves as some sort of fairy tale book Fable Snow White was 87 years ago fers learn a new trick it was Paradise not for that fing butterfly you just showed being welcomed into the dark of of nothingness that is death by Duck digestion this is a kids movie for Duck's sake also remember this moment when you're getting all torn up over the possibility of delicious duckle orang these have to eat too and this becomes a very different movie if that butterfly turns out to be the late wife of John tick and he decides to start working again and they were eager to discover what lay beyond their cozy little Pond come on let's have a look but daddy says it's dangerous to leave the pond this opening of a dad trying to scare his kids into not exploring the rest of the world is so finding Nemo that its clear illumination is stopped caring about how transparent their thematic plagiarism is you think you can do these things Comcast but you just can't oh Dax don't worry it's going to be okay thing Kristen Bell said to her boyfriend after the early box office returns for Forgetting Sarah Marshall came in somehow makes its way into the script good night sweetheart lighting your interior via insect seems like a very unreliable way to get light especially when you're probably fighting the urge to constantly eat your buls this is not how frogs work fill them you actually have to pump the right hind leg three times and then release when ready to shoot it's like the movie's never operated a super Coker before risking injury by doing this unnecessary close-range flyby like you're a bunch of Top Gun maladi dicts this seems so mysterious and exotic no duck will acknowledge that this adventure is kicked off by the fetishization of the unknown it's clear from this shot and the reverse shot that the door to these ducks home faces out over the expanse of the pond earlier when the lightning bug left it only had a little bit of water to cross before being in complete forest and don't give me any of that back door front door because you can tell by the single extending branch that the two doors are the same doors this Pond is a pond of Lies so you don't go anywhere for the winter uh nope you should totally come with us inviting someone to flock around when you just met them 10 seconds ago at least get their name first what the kind of ducks are in this flock anyway I did a single Google search and I think that makes me an expert enough to say that there is no species of duck that has hummingbird type coloring like this over this much of their body plus don't duck species usually have different feather coloring for the males and the females of the species I'm just saying Daddy Mac may be right not to trust this crew they look suspiciously like they've been made up by an overeager animation team rather than crafted by natural selection uh have a nice trip have a nice Pond wow that really is a duck I mean dick thing to say have a nice Pond who says that and Mac doesn't get credit for recognizing this I'm so sorry you can't have babies with her this infertility seem plot will be completely abandoned Mac I don't want to miss out on life because you're afraid to leave this Pond then just go last time I checked a marriage didn't have to be doing all of the every single thing together live your best life Pam you got this you really need to open your eyes Mac before you miss it all this sudden tension isn't supported At All by the Montage of fam Bliss we were spoonfed a few minutes ago Uncle Dan what are you doing here sitting on your uncle without realizing it and you'll end up just like me happy yeah healthy yeah and totally alone and this realization is all Mac needs to completely change a core element of his personality the problem is the movie hasn't told us why Mac developed his agoraphobic Tendencies to begin with so this change of heart means absolutely nothing except plot can start plotting now for our big super fun family migration more like a big super fun family rooll credit sorry movie I can't focus on whatever you want me to hear right now because I've become totally distracted by these ducks occasionally having teeth I'm pretty sure Ducks don't have human pearly whites under those bills I'm even more sure they don't appear and disappear will now all I can think about is ducks with their tractable human teeth and it's all your fault movie [Music] please please why are we the only Birds heading this way great question but let's not ask any of the other birds and just continue on Into the Storm so we can drum up some contrived comedic controversy 5 seconds into this road trip this is the kind of thing we'll remember for years to come we'll look back and laugh and now as if on Q an animal that is usually a predator encounters our Travelers but will not end up eating them but instead we'll chant at a support group ducks are friends not food okay fine I made up that last part but the fact that you believe me for a second tells you all you need to know about this cut and paste Endeavor hello little ducks movie thinks that casting the amazing Carol Kane to do a voice will somehow earn them a reprieve from me and somehow the movie is right but maybe parents are not good enough for you Mage no of course not we're happy to stay teaching your kids how to properly be pressured into an uncomfortable situation what do they do rip you apart then eat you nope if they can they usually just swallow you whole cuz of your question I just accidentally watched a hair and absolutely snarf an entire duckling and honestly this movie will want us to eventually believe that Mac was wrong to want to stay home and be safe but he was not this talking animal movie is supremely casual about insect murder there's no way we're sleeping in that he says as if completely aware that it's a cooking utensil because if there's one thing we all know about ducks it's that they are huge fans of the bear sleep tight don't let the bed bu bite great now I have to figure out where these two herons get their lantern oil to keep this Lantern in use they occasionally migrate down to the Amazon what about Uncle Dan it's fine when they wake up they'll eat him that'll give us more more time to lose that Mac is willing to let Uncle Dan die and it's funny because they just have that kind of relationship you shouldn't have gotten out of your beds nighttime is when Predators like to feed during this entire misunderstanding Aaron is trying to help them yet continues to say creepy things instead of just saying I'm not going to eat you I'm trying to save you from a random catfish that I somehow knew would be in here he was about to Gump you in one bite that's right catfish also eat ducks hole and I once again accidentally myself into a video proving it ducks are clearly the rabbits of the water world and their place on the food chain continues to make this movie a horror film and a cautionary tale about listening to your spouse it's a you it's a you Cinema sin's Defenders wait is that sin well can't argue with that guys come up you have to see this better come take a look at this cliche clouds do not stick to faces like this unless those aren't clouds in which case yeah understanding human cookware but not the concept of Reflections New York City notably has very few Alleyways and on day one they managed to stumble upon the famous one where all the New York city cop shows always find a body I'm so jealous making donuts so bad you have to discount them twice put them on clearance and they still don't sell Uncle Dan yeah it's me it's Uncle Dan considering ducks have worse hearing than humans I'm calling all the but either of them hearing this duck call and response from this distance he would have wanted us to go on without him Mac a devoted family duck continues to try and abandon a member of his family makes no sense but I guess it's funny the sub being this untouched after being dropped in Central Park for any amount of time pigeons that's not surprising because all ducks are racist it's true look it up get out of here you trashy trashy horribly racist every last one of them come here pumpkin allowing aquafino to continue her quest to voice a character in every single animated movie ever made without thinking of the consequences someday you're going to throw in your copy of the aristocat and wonder why Duchess sounds like that quiz lady woman and don't say I didn't warn [Music] you synchronized spitting 80 20 60 40 7030 65 35 68 32 here's a 100 cents because I don't give a flying duck how you split the sandwich they eventually agree to split the sandwich 6733 which means that this piece should be 67% of the sandwich but after doing a detailed comparison of earlier where he is holding the whole sandwich I have decided that I can't understand why they are quibbling so much over what is clearly a vegetarian sub we're trying to get to Jamaica ah yeah yeah that's some Queens right uh more south oh so Pam the small pond bird that has been in Manhattan for 10 minutes at most is an expert on the Burrows now how far south then canari Coney Island far Rockway like the Caribbean oh that Jamaica I got a buddy who knows that place like the back of his wing of course you do is his name Crush does he say righteous lot this movie just stick close to me and everything will be be all right Chum survives this and the audience survives this joke being run into the ground for all the some time understanding negotiating tactics but not the concept of 3D space and what is that oh that's just check offs helicopter like a predator except instead of eating you he feeds you to a group of much lazier Predators aliens versus predat No Reservations send me some feather calling Talons feathers to I know the way to Jamaica it's a valid question since you were likely brought here against your will in some kind of crate and no tropical birds I know of regularly migrate North to New York City fly do South for 3 mil then do East for 1 mile do West for 10 mil then your Southwest for 1 m southsouth east for 2 miles and souths Southwest for the r away two things one 90% of this is just flying around Staten Island two I'm pretty sure these directions take you to Cancun also I apologize but once I tell you that this character is just Sebastian from The Little Mermaids voice and Sago from Aladdin's body you will not be able to unsee or unhear it the damage has now been done try and live as normal life as possible we could get the key no kid that's impossible why long answer because they're trying to stretch this to feature length and need to throw in yet another side quest for your family so it feels like something's actually happening in the plot short answer the movies sidling along a see-through barrier as if that will keep you from being seen by anyone looking toward you from any direction in the entire room can someone explain the motivation for keeping your bird cage key with you at all times or why you would fasten it to your coat pocket exterior with a red ribbon does the chef purchase his clothing exclusively from the Marc Jacobs escape room collection when did Pam have like Maneuvers bird eater incoming Watch Out Boy he'll chew you up sorry but also he's a bird eater making duck sauce with the bone broth make you want all his scrub he's a bird eater making carrots make you cut carbs wish you never had red meat at all not sorry balloon burst to let the air out of all the tension they're rumming up being so fed up with your partners that just finish yourself without considering their feelings Susan oh I'm not that I'm not that brave thinking you can cough out helium this quickly wooo this celebration goes on so long that it should have ended up being premature when John Fab's character from Chef finally caught up with them on the roof because they didn't just leave when they had the chance you are one heck of a bird that's really nice of you to say Trump just curious though why have you and your army of pigeons never tried to break Delroy out before today sweet so now that Delroy is leading them to Jamaica there are no more pits stops to take and we should be done with the movie in no time can you imagine if they tried to do another side quest by pretending that the birds had to land for a potty break glad that would never happen whatever you're expecting over there it's going to be even better deloy apparently went to the WB School of setting expectations too high like they did with the flash even though anyone with a nose could smell that pile of a movie coming from a mile away of things it's gross it's not gross we're Birds it is gross you're Birds follow me and stay close with one Victory under their belts this family of ducks decides to ignore the line between adventure and trespassing but just in case get out your talents I ain't sure ducks have talents though Gwen would be absolutely precocious at birdfoot since our morning relaxation as we prepare for the Glorious ear in May to open the gates To Paradise so the food doesn't know its food and sees they're waiting to be shipped to the restaurant as Paradise are we just doing sausage party now I'll give all the SS back if the next scene is a duck orgy just to feel something again I swear I will is it just me or is giving Ducks flotation devices a bit redundant it would be like giving kangaroos a trampoline or an alligator scuba gear or cats lessons I don't think we can possibly stay here without having The Best Time Of Our Lives DS ow Uncle Dan where the fck are all these shovels coming from is it more convenient that this just happens to be a supplier for the psycho Chef these ducks have already run into today just happens to be the day of the duck collection that a famous powerful Chef would attend a duck delivery in person or that these Farmers happen to stack all these hay bales and stairstep fashion to see over the fence discuss uh Delroy is the Sea Dragon now speaking of Del Roy he's been dying to get back to his homeland for years and now he's just content to stop and chill by the pool he knows Jamaica is even better than this so why is he putting up with this guys we need to rest follow me I know exactly where to land that would be the perfect setting to prepare for the third act conflict and climax of the movie trust me this Chef has such a duck Revenge boner that he's hunting for him via helicopter Spotlight somehow this will work but wasn't he just flying this thing I mean sure autopilot blah blah blah but why would you leave the pilot seat when all you needed to do was push the button to drop the net someone may be a bit of a drama King me thinks do I need to remind you which movie ends with a parent being trapped in a net to be taken away and eaten while the child looks on from outside I do not think that I do Gwen you're a genius she is not you were right we never ever should have left the pond the end thanks for watching all you never give up on anything you haven't even given up on me this marriage was on the Rock story line has provided such little proof that I don't know what the he is even talking about this is entirely too much commotion for Bradley Cooper's character from the movie burnt to not notice this almost none of the time they're doing this Vaudeville act are they actually holding the cage up to get regurgitating your salsa eat this Uncle Dan survives The Recoil of ejecting a squad of this magnitude from his throat so psycho chef and the cage Ducks fall out of the helicopter and the net falls out after them and then I think I'm supposed to believe that the net independently captures the chef somehow while Mac also grabs the chef's ponytail with his webbed foot do I have that right what the movie look at this picture there is no world where this becomes this no world I say ducks did not produce tears they just don't have the proper duck ducts Goose this [Music] good thing Uncle Dan was paying attention otherwise Gwen would have been starring in an Aven remake of Open Water like I said too bad Uncle Dan was paying attention we're almost there everyone I can't feel it movie is only using this premature celebration to stall for time otherwise this turkey would barely crack an hour and 15 the water it's glowing these dumb Ducks don't know about pholon Dad Dad come look so they weren't lost at all jica was just being obscured by the movie's refusal to end head's in B mode the British when they try and make us believe that they have any Authority in The Culinary World by judging who made the best malt loaf movie is entitled Finding Rio tell me you never let go oh baby I promis to hold on to you for the rest of our lives which is not going to be very long because we've Chen whole feet instead of doing anything about the fall better late than never right and of course they land right next to the family from the beginning because Jamaica is apparently the size of a dinner napkin your wings they're beautiful and possibly an Abomination thank you for what almost getting the family killed obviously opening my eyes you got to be fing kidding me in case you confused it with the movie ending the toothpick wants to come recycling your character model for Scrat because you didn't want to draw an actual alligator I just met these birds who are totally lost and said we'd help them get home what do you say hello threatening us with the Penguins of Madagascar crossover sequel let's talk itinerary I say Costa Rica Panama Amazon River because all ducks are well versed in geography and know the precise names humans choose to identify the random trunks of land there's cheese in this sandwich I'm going to be real with you all right I burn down my friend's house now wait a minute you know this is the low rent district remember it's a two-bedroom rental it's beautiful and um I don't know where to go I have nowhere to go boy your eyes are like sapphires GE that's pretty corny though huh I'm not not wearing pants Pam it's a heron a psycho killer I hear you want to join our migration you say you have to see this whoa whoa whoa whoa hey hey hey nothing like a little 30 knot crosswind exercise the old SP the muscle okay I think there's a slight misunderstanding here eyes bright chins up Smiles on I'm talking to you Katniss [Music] oh I'm not dead don't even think about trying to escape and now the egg position why you come down here I I'll tell you what happened I told him to stay back and he almost got himself killed but Dad I was trying to help you think you could do these thing but you just can't Nemo we are going to show them that when danger strikes you do not run from it you take a protest don't

Channel: CinemaSins

Views: 137,517

Keywords: wave jockey job, cinemasins, cinema sins, everything wrong with, eww, movie, review, movie review, migration, animated, animation

Id: 1syRmUCjuW8

Length: 19min 2sec (1142 seconds)

Published: Tue Apr 30 2024