Everything Wrong With The Nice Guys in 20 Minutes Or Less

it really ruins the effect of your retro logo when you have to put the modern Time Warner on it in case you confused it with Los Angeles Democratic Republic of the Congo got to send the dad parents here for thinking under the bed was a good place to hide as nudie mags Iron Man 3's Ty Simpkins just so happens to be looking at a centerfold for Misty Mountains who is seconds away from crashing into his house in a coincidence so crazy I'm surprised that Led Zeppelin's Misty Mountain Hop isn't blaring at a neighbor's house I guess there was no way to identify her as Misty Mountains unless she appeared completely nude after the wreckage how do you like my car Big Boy dying and then doing a royal credits moment for your own life Bart Sarah and Jonathan are spending their Leisure day at the city pool aren't they lucky hell yeah they're lucky they went to a city pool with absolutely no other people you can't even kidnap John anderton's kid in this place Jonathan has a gay toe if you're teaching kids adjectives why would you go with gay here even if gay means bright and cheerful or something like that it's clearly a rainbow towel and rainbow still fits the adjective Bill gay doesn't describe the towel whatsoever go yourself School film wearing two pairs of glasses without using either of them I have a couple of questions concerning this bike that this girl is taking to go home is this movie saying that this predatory [ __ ] drove to her school waited for her outside and then had her bike to his residence or did she get in his car he took her to his place and the movie hoped that you forgot she didn't have a bike in the first place March's right hand has a tattoo that says you will never be happy weirdly my right hand has been telling me that same thing for years without needing the aid of a tattoo this article looks pretty legit at first but upon closer inspection I did find a flaw in this article it says contrary to the name though they did not originate in Africa starts off great doesn't it it's about to tell us why these bees are called Africanized then it says European honey bees and the result is the African bees honey production scientists miscalculated this aggressive hybrid that starts off being understandable and then changes into goblook after the for S Amelia drives this car and yet is hard to locate that's a lot of blood guys that's a lot of blood geez how did he get to a phone in time to get an ambulance you look at this Marquee with the standup comics and go wow nice detail for the period Then you look at the signatures on this Blackboard area and you see people like Joe Rogan who was 10 at the time and Paulie Shore who was nine I'm not even sure Eddie Murphy was a big enough name in 1977 to be on this thing but the point I'm making has been made did he just slide into his pre-tied shoes in the' 70s that's a lie right there I won't have it check off's brass knuckles the problem with this is this isn't the same cow note that Jackson received from Amelia earlier the dead giveaway is the alignment of burn hair underneath March which starts under the H in the first note but starts under the r in the second note there are other small differences in handwriting but I won't bother going into depth there anyway this is a devastating blow for this movie stop looking for Amelia right so you beat the out of him for that meanwhile the other guy is a creepy weirdo giving pot to 13-year-olds and God knows what else and you just punch him and leave if I have an apple the director said let's have this guy ask if he can have an apple so they'll know that even though he's an [ __ ] he's polite about it one of youo Yoo Yoo littering we're looking for Amelia yeah but who told you that Jackson knows anything about Amelia the only way you could possibly know about Jackson is if you saw him talking to Amelia earlier and then I'd assume you'd follow her afterwards instead of tracking Jackson down the only way this makes sense is that Shane black himself told these two guys about Jackson so he could then team up with Holland to get the movie going I saw her through the front window if she saw her niece who she thought was dead in the window of her own house why didn't she ring the doorbell and try to talk to her she was writing something and then she came out and she drove away and this was 2 days after the accident so we'll find out later that Mrs Glenn from outside Misty's house saw part of a film Misty was in projected on a wall upstairs and then she saw Amelia not Misty drive away but for this to work Amelia would almost immediately have to turn off the projector of the film find a way to get it back on a reel immediately jump to her car and drive away without Mrs Glenn even bothering to investigate further or ask questions while directly outside the house fish trde okay so I just made that word up because I'm not sure there's a word for killing someone's fish but there should be and it should be fish trde this movie makes it look way easier to grab a fish with your hand than it actually is not that I've got any firsthand experience here I just Googled yeah I wouldn't tell you cuz earlier when we saw Jackson leaving his apartment the switch he used to turn everything off was next to the to the door leading outside now conveniently he has another switch that does the same thing in this random part of the room not saying it's impossible I'm just saying that this room was written by the screenwriter to get out of a jam just another day at Mitsy Shores Comedy Store you probably saw the same thing back then when a standup wanted to get paid for their work also in this long awaited quick and the dead reunion Russell Crow was neither quick nor Keith David dead this little baby's going to stay right here this is some incredible physical acting folks I know he made it look easy as but the ghosts of Charlie Chaplain and Buster Keaton are sitting up in their graves applauding the you have no idea how hard it is to drop a cigarette into your underwear and then try to go after it while covering your junk and keeping a door open and wielding a gun please respect the goling and yes that needs to be said because just this week while I was writing these sins Vanity Fair Vanity Fair published an article about how the Barbie movie finally let Ryan Gosling be funny and that is a super embarrassing way to admit you never saw the nice guy or The Big Short Ryan golin can do it all ventriloquism it doesn't work sometimes no it never works we like to pretend we can't see the person's vocal cords moving or their lips quivering while trying not to betray themselves ventriloquism is an art we tolerate but don't really respect like B that's the hot tip I got yesterday before you broke my arm wait a minute are you saying that Jackson broke your arm yesterday and then the very next day you're taking your daughter on a birthday bowling bash and you had enough time to visit the protest that just so happens to be going on right now hell in the bathroom a minute ago you said that he broke your arm the other day suggesting that at least more than one day has passed so how much time has really passed so all you died because of the pollution right what about the gas mask they didn't save you Jackson Healey would be amazing at air pollution protest since Dean had this whole room like filled with film stock one day it just went up you know and uh yeah yeah it cost the guy's life and his life's work amazing how terribly efficient the two killers are when it comes to Misty Mountains and this film director Dean they just killed them and even made the murders look like accidents but later on every killer in this movie will hesitate and H and Hall and totally suck at the job they were fantastic at before the movie really started also despite the knowledge The Killers apparently possess like who starred in the film and who directed it they are clueless about the producers Sid shatak and the fact that Amelia is staying at his house until much later in the film they'd much rather go after Jackson with some Phantom lead than walk up to Sid's house and figure out exactly the details they need to win the movie guy burned up it happens it doesn't I don't doubt that in 1977 Universal was advertising Jaws too which came out in the summer of 1978 but this billboard should at the very least be telling people when it's coming out this billboard makes it seem like it's already out and that you should just go ahead and visit a theater to watch it because it has no release date on it also nice detail putting in the auto show sign early on in the movie I had no idea it was the auto show sign though until later when they were looking for chat the projectionist and the sign is in the hallway so I'm sinning this foreshadowing for being too godamn hard to see the only reason I remembered it was because I spent so much time being an [ __ ] about the Jaws 2 billboard I noticed 1978 and wondered if it means anything so now I'm being an [ __ ] just for the sake of being an [ __ ] hat rack look at that so he was way too far away from this billboard to read any part of it they're getting ready for a party and I asked about Amelia and they said she'd be right back Amelia has the worst friends ever and is hiding out at the worst place ever it's a job I got to take it if I don't we won't get to live in such a nice house I am still waiting for answers on how you got into this house rental situation in the first place doing this to a horse it's not my nose that grows oh really then why is your nose like 9 in long already and then a few days later I walk in on them and they're all doing anal and stuff don't say an stuff just say they're drawing anal another sit off for one of the movie's most hilarious moments bang oh bang because Holland ising around here he accidentally himself down a hill where he completely by dumb luck runs into a dead person that gives him a new lead also Mara's spinal column survives this this right here is Amelia the girl everyone is looking for and I see she decided to be very conspicuous wearing a bright yellow dress and deciding to go to this party as if there aren't Killers looking for her right now Robert Downey Jr does a favor this one says she's Amelia's sister oh so the killers even have at least one person inside the party who's helping them out and they still can't find Amelia for f sake man Amelia cannot be that hard to find why the is this guy dressed in grass and seemingly on a ladder is he trying to sneak into the party because no one has had any trouble getting into the Party by simply using the front door holy I've seen less convenient in The Lord of the Rings movies and them sh have reincarnating wizards I know he was being shot at and the car spun out but let's not forget that March was also driving drunk freeze freeze freeze shoot them how the did blueface get in the other lane so that the van could run him over like this sure he kind of sort of backed up a step while he was taunting Holly and Amelia but he was well within the other lane when he did that jeez I guess everyone's driving drunk tonight kneeling down in the road when youve just seen someone get hit by a car in this very spot even if you're doing it out of kindness why is Healey wiping the gun down for Prince he didn't bother wiping down Sid shatex wallet or clothes for Prince before they literally threw his dead body on a dinner party or the gun he tossed into the hot tub just following orders you know who else was just following orders Hitler God damn this gets me every time I'm Amelia's mother these two don't immediately question why Amelia's mother would be showing up at this place right now Melle blanch replied politely reading out loud while you are reading to yourself actually makes you read slower but you do you Holly it makes the movie scene a bit better also making up books that don't exist but sound real so I'll go investigate where that passage comes from and every Google result comes back with the nice guys mom kept on complaining about a leak in the furnace but Dad you know he's got his nose thing so he couldn't smell the gas holy sh okay he's got a nose thing but doesn't he also have a trust your wife's sense of smell when you know you have a nose thing thing the problem with this is this isn't the same cow note that Jackson found back at the party first off there's a clear image of a cow outlined on this one whereas there isn't one on the note he found 30 minutes ago the crease is the dead giveaway because the 2810 numbers are lined up with the crease in the first one and now they're way over to the left the writing is more bunched up and there are subtle differences in the writing pull over what is it with this dude's ability to spot far away sh from a moving car at night where'd you go got on the elevator right before you guys came in you got a name John something you mean the contract killer guy came in and asked the bartender where Amelia was and managed to drop his name in the process I get shot in a diner where in my arm I told you this last night s wait Holland doesn't remember any part of the story Jackson told him last night I know he fell asleep but he heard a lot of it before he did right besides Jackson showed him Amelia's note last night too just before he told the cafe story and he remembered everything about that the next day and Jackson never pulled it back out to show him again during the entire kitchen scene the note for this meeting was located inside a film can marked myy so Jackson took it and pocketed it so how the did The Killers know this meeting was taking place did they see the note and memorize it and then stick it back into the film can if they tracked the interested film buyers how have they been so inept at figuring out Amelia's whereabouts also I have no idea why this meeting was still taking place or why Amelia showed up she has nearly been killed several times she knows of two murders over this film already and yet she came out to this meeting expecting nothing to happen except a business deal once it was out there once it was in theaters there's no way that they could suppress it so she couldn't go to the cops because her mom's the head of the justice department she couldn't go to the newspapers because she says they all work together I assume with the cops is what she means so her plan to expose her mother's evil was to make a porno that also contained names and dates of people involved in the catalytic converter cover up that was what she viewed as her best option because this girl has been presented as fairly Savvy up until this point but she thinks playing this movie on the sly at an automakers convention an automakers convention is going to create people who agree with her and want to crack down on the catalytic converters I got insurance this baby right here checkov actually abandoned his brass knuckles from earlier and now he swapped it for an ankle gun I used to fly all the time but now to smog is just disgusting man not to apply internal logic to a dream fake out involving a bee voiced by Hannibal burus but you also smoke so what does the small have to do with you not flying around if you're going to weigh a briefcase down with paper to make it feel heavy enough to have $100,000 in it do you need to cut the non-money paper you use into dollar bill shapes before packing the briefcase because I don't think that you do in there asleep slight fever Holly tells John Boy where Amelia is and then he wastes all this time trying to find out whether she anything important to them and my question is why even bother why not just kill everyone and wait for Holland and Jackson to show back up and kill them too is there a morals Clause to this kind of killing I CH for well it was 1977 so they said stuff like that back then without thinking about it so it's totally okay to do it here in this part of the movie with no real reason other than that's the way people Talked oh well Jessica dial 911 Jessica I wouldn't do that if I were you and so she doesn't then she tries to escape by running right by the a bad guy threw that little girl out the window this guy is the dumbest goddamn Contract Killer ever and it's too bad because Matt Bower is doing an excellent job playing someone who was a lot better at his job than the movie wants him to be I like how the bad guys needed a super killer and they sent away for the worst shot this side of Stormtrooper School tell Mr he thanks for nothing I absolutely understand the desire to escape the place that has active gunfire going on but this still feels like a miscalculation maybe it's because she's killed 90 seconds from now wow he's shocked it's so easy to and kill Amelia but this [ __ ] dude doesn't know what she looks like as he literally thought Holly's friend Jessica was Amelia at first how's our patient that's her oh and by the way you're welcome you're out free on your own recognizance you get a walk yeah how the f is that possible they've been at the scene of multiple shootings and multiple dead bodies all inside 48 Hours even without further Evidence which they would have I think the detectives would be thinking yeah I don't believe in coincidence is this big Amelia Misty Dean shadik all dead right now this cab driver thinking to himself like stay cool man stay cool man stay cool man holy fing [ __ ] oh ah Catholic School flashbacks there there that's the window I was coming around that corner and I saw her through that window the angles presented here along with the coke bottle glasses Mrs Glenn is wearing make this an unbelievably improbable thing she saw and it really sucks that the movie never once demonstrates how Mrs Glenn saw what she did the Western hotel to meet the businessman she was screening it for the distribu she was showing them the film if she was screening it for the Distributors and all those guys are dead at this point where the f is this copy of the film now sure she might have stuffed it in her yellow bag but she didn't take that with her when she ran away from Holland's house none of the main characters are going to take it with them to the auto show so did someone else survive John Boy back at the hotel because someone would have had to take the film from there to the auto show and it sure as [ __ ] isn't going to be Amelia opening night 9900 p.m. signed chat either Amelia gave Chet the film and didn't have one to show the distributors or chat somehow has another copy of the film and the one that Amelia showed the Distributors was left somewhere around the crime scene and if that's the case the bad guys shouldn't even be sweating another copy of the film at this point because surely John boy would have disposed of that film at the hotel and have no knowledge of another copy the LA Auto Show it's today right of course it is not like it could have been yesterday or the day before just happens to be tonight please stop talking i' I've been listening to everything you said does this mean does this mean that my niece is dead yes you brought your daughter with you thanks buddy how'd you know my name was Buddy this guy is a [ __ ] [ __ ] he looks at his late 20s or 30s and he's only just now being called buddy casually by a stranger [ __ ] it's just a bunch of cars Motor City Pride it's not it sh Holland and Jackson make the mistake of not bringing me on this adventure so that I could tell them if something is spliced in the middle of the film on the platter doesn't even occur to these asshol Souls that this could be the case the Christy elf platter system was definitely not a thing in 1977 and wasn't implemented until probably the '90s I'm also pretty sure the chrisy auto wine 3 makeup table wasn't around in 1977 and I have doubts about the projector itself but finding information on that would probably require me to call someone at the christe company and what the channel do you think this is guess you killed the projectionist huh no my associates out looking for him now offering up information to people you intend to kill solely so the audience can hear it what gun ankle gun who told you I had an anle gun feel there in the car before we crash check off you brilliant bastard the reveal of the usage of the titular check off's gun is actually the lack of use of set gun I'm still sending you for breaking the rules though why did you just throw cold coffee on me I mean do you really even need to ask that question even though she's going to answer you I thought it was obvious as to the why that really worked out alternative title to this movie okay just wait here I'm going to take a look around I wish he'd embrace one perspective or the other either you want to protect her and you leave her at the hotel tonight or you want her help and you should just let her be Robin and be done with it pioline yeah I promise unke keepable promises free drinks what do you have so Holland went to the bar because Chet's buddies told them he went to get a drink but why the is Jackson here in this storage place that just happens to luckily be the exact place he needs to be why the did John Boy merely beat the out of chat instead of Killing Him why'd you have to bring the goddamn kid if you want to send movies dude you're going to have to make these observations earlier like I did and that's the end of Keith David's character I don't know why you get get this guy just to waste him like this but you did so John Boy starts shooting at the projector to stop the movie and it's exactly the half-ass I'd expect from this crewp my main question is if you [ __ ] knew the film might be here at the auto show and you knew about chat the projectionist then why the did you not have someone checking every aspect of the projection room before the auto show even started did you think someone was just carrying the film around with a portable projector who was planning to run it in the middle of the showroom I have another question for the [ __ ] who made this porno and plan to show it in the middle of the automobile porn how far did you think this would play before the auto manufacturers got someone inside the projection room and incinerated the film remember this is now the only copy of the movie you think is going to turn the Auto industry upside down John boy shoots a gun and causes an explosion and no one is watching the movie on the wall anymore which makes me wonder why the bad guy's plan was to kill everyone who made this movie instead of just doing this here's another substantial bit of time where everyone firing a gun seems to be trying to miss there's no way this film is on a real right now no [ __ ] way the thing she needed to put the film back on a real is the otan 3 makeup table located in the exact place it was the last time we saw it also if this film is on a real already what the [ __ ] is she doing with it why isn't she run out of here already scissors what the [ __ ] are scissors going to do give me that you [ __ ] up Little Hippie why haven't you tackled her already film canister was too hot to touch just seconds ago but now he picks it up and runs away Don booy finally hits what he's aiming at but he hits it so dead center that he hits the film canister and I'd really enjoy it if movies went back to bullets missing Heroes for a reason wait did that ever even exist this [ __ ] dude should be dead five times over in this movie this is a great movie but its use of Fast and Furious physics is goddamn annoying I love Shane black but what the is this camera doing during this fight starts at a low angle dips below the action corrects itself goes too high then suddenly it elevates above the two fighters and God damn Mr hilly if you kill this man I will never speak to you again this is persuasive and sometimes sometimes holy F I forgot this movie had narration people are stupid but they're not that stupid no I believe they are and we already got our first case movie sets up a sequel that as of 2024 has not materialized I put the blame on you the viewers link and I are cruising the mountain bro we figure we a little j o a DNA strand like me is a blueprint for building a living thing shouldn't trust anyone certainly not the attorney general who just wants it all for himself and not the young federal agent who wants your job not even the old man who just wants to hang on to what he created don't trust anyone just find The Minority Report tried to tell you nobody makes me bleed my own blood let's not talk about my margins by the way being nice and fat that's a nice shirt do they make it for men Sid hat rck yeah nobody's name is hat rck that's the worst name I ever heard I'm giving you a choice either put on these glasses or start eating that trash can you have a thing for helping women don't you officer White maybe I'm just curious you say a lot you for money we're looking for the Burbank Apartments they took away my home help me out the government took away my home like all day tomorrow with a dentist go ahead kid jump suici that'll be nice and neat what's good for Detroit was good for America no no not Detroit no no please

Channel: CinemaSins

Views: 147,826

Keywords: wave jockey job, cinemasins, cinema sins, everything wrong with, eww, movie, review, movie review, nice guys, russell crowe, ryan gosling

Id: PVEpMoabQSI

Length: 21min 38sec (1298 seconds)

Published: Thu May 02 2024