Everything Wrong With Penguins of Madagascar in 15 Minutes or Less

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sometime proceeding a year before I've decided to watch this movie I'm going to say this is 1933 cool so sometime in 1933 continue Antarctica an inhospitable Wast land vernation also verer Herzog was born in 1942 so he didn't exist to narrate this in 1933 Skipper we appear to be flightless oh well what's the point of these Skipper would be excellent at Evolution sense why do you think they're always documentary Crews filming us oh please there's no way that's a wireless boom mic and more importantly this kind of equipment didn't exist in 1933 DreamWorks movie kicks off the plot by having a main character chased down an egg cliche okay it's mostly this and ice ag3 but I'm counting Prince of Egypt cuz that basket they abandoned Moses to the alligators in was definitely egg shaped look he's fine Sam jacking a seagull as if you're movie title is Deep Blue Seal aren't snakes Nature's snakes how should I know live on The Flipping Frozen time Skipper knows what snakes are even though he's never been anywhere except Antarctica but didn't know that Penguins couldn't fly give them a shove pushing Penguins perched on a peak by putting your pitching wedge would be much more suited for this particular bird murder also these three Penguins all fall simultaneously but defy Newton's second law by hitting the first part of the rube Iceberg machine in consecutive fashion Rico doesn't choke and die after ingesting this large egg and yes this is Rico's thing but it's still here's an extra 20 CS to cover all the rest of the times the large it swallowing happens these penguins are now shot to a height higher than the original fall but don't need any Deus ice machas this time to survive the impact I think I have amniotic sack in my mouth amniotic fluid maybe but third eggs have more of an amniotic cavity than a sack and honestly it's much more likely that you got splashed with some albumin bird brain cool got it this section takes place sometime after I've decided to watch this movie I'm going to say it's 2185 cool so sometime in 2185 continue 10 years ago on this very day the Tidy egg hatched his egg hatched in 1933 not 2175 this movie is having major issues with its timeline continuity this attempt at camouflage doesn't even really work from the audience's elevated perspective let alone from the perspective of this guard who is watching them roll directly at him Rico Sonic incursion device where the are they keeping that hidden actually now that I say that out loud even if you have that info I am no longer interested in knowing it oh come on you're kidding right Kentucky they do love their flat and scrubs all those five and six-year-old flat and scrug fans in 2014 were all in after this line of dialogue we got you something else requiring all Fort knox's employees to walk through the most secure room on site to get to the break room you mess with a bull you're going to get the horns private dismissing the need for consent based on the horniness of the offender where' private go well there he is D3 okay look how hard is it to animate vending machine numbers correctly first he's not in D3 he's clearly in E3 second why the is row G skipped and it goes straight from F to H this machine has rows numbered AC c e FH I wait are there two row C's when I press C3 how does the machine know which one to even give me not that it matters considering every single vending slot is the same exact product which leads me to ask why the is F3 mostly empty are those where the best cheesy dibles live oh I don't even get me started on a touchpad going to l and nine when there isn't even a need to go past I or five I said don't even get me started speaking of I five why does the eye rate the eyes look so much like the number one you know how many people are going to punch in 15 instead do you it's aing lot you moronic v a lot and wait is have3 mouth full again how lazy do you have to be that's it done I'm out when they ask you what happened tell them it was a vending machine that ended me not making the walls in Fort Knox vending machine proof making this vending machine a tardis but not realizing it now stands for for time and relative dimensions in stupidity ha ha ha ha oh fck that noise I'm back but I swear if that vending machine returns I will wait why is the button to prepare the laser over here instead with the other laser controls naughty naughty pretty birds belong in their cages discount Bill hater is not voiced by actual bill hater Dave Dave Dave this Dave's on for all the some time seriously cut back to it I bet it's still daving see sorry Madagascar spin-off movie decides to incorporate jokes that even fing Shrek wouldn't use that is depressing you may not remember me but I could never forget you let's shake up some old memories keeping your Vengeance snow globes on display just in case you need to do some flashbacks [Music] position this whole using his tank water for the toilet refill tank thing is kind of Genius but that's way too much water to use on every floss so your lack of environmental awareness is getting you a sin Nicholas Cage them these terrible name puns that will run through the entire movie Aaron Taylor John send them you messed with the wrong Birds because we are an elite unit best of the best scene does not contain an Eric Roberts a Christopher Penn or a Philip re thinking umbrellas or trampolines I blame Mario Mario so you squeegees want to do the Gonda Mambo doing the gondola Mambo I've lost visual kski be my ey or you've got three Penguins available to do your job who can actually SE the scooter is able to support the weight of the boat and all five passengers and for those viewers now shouting it's an animated movie give me a break I would like to welcome you to the channel and then welcome you to f off we've got M get ahead thing every thirsty teenager in 1997 said when they realized Titanic was rated PG-13 somehow makes its way into the script remain calm Penguins Benedict Cumberbatch is in butchering the word penguin in the scene private Dibble me thinking that Ric would store a full bag of Dibbles in his esophagus of holding instead of just eating them like penguins Benedict CPP batch butchers the word penguin in the scene self-destruct sequence activated you know you should really label these things and cover them and add Progressive steps to the activation and located away from the main console and also is self-destruct sequence that can be turned off by simply pressing the exact same button again arrival pad 17 not clearly labeling your arrival pad so the pilot can tell where the pad 17 is Dr Brian is not an octopus he is an octopus precisely that's exactly what our Intel indicated release the Sheep letting this suspicious sheep go without at least double-checking your new information first Dam Dave this not getting Dave's name right bit stopped being funny around the third time and hasn't resumed being funny the 17 times since I shall let you know if that changes I have to go do some shopping for Revenge where do you even go to purchase Revenge I mean that feels like something Spencer Gifts might carry but they will always be sold out of it and you would have to settle for a fart jaar or a 42in good guy doll oh yeah baby like Super Bowl 19 is that a reference to the pregame jetpack show at Super Bowl 19 what in the Obscure reference hell I make my own options damn it is every button in this universe installed for maximum safety hazard aim for first class aim for first class let's start with how the F did you manage to fall through the exterior of the plane Pilots of this plane have yet to do anything about the Penguin on the dash despite him being there for almost 10 seconds now cuz he's to get a free I can no longer sin that it's not this easy to pop open an emergency exit door but I can sin that it is apparently sometimes this easy to pop open an emergency exit door oh private stop playing with those backpacks humor-based situational awareness these penguins know what a plane is and that croissants come from Paris but parachutes never heard of them bending it like beam We Are The North Wind and no one no one breaks the wind get it it's a fart joke do you get it sorry laddy oh look at that you little baby squid now I get to go back where it was where to be bought and B to death before being devoured by a human that movie is adorable stranded on the emerald a without a single clue well so much for the Luck of the Irish from someone who has seen more Notre Dame football games than I care to count I can almost guarantee you there is no such thing as Luck of the Irish conveniently timed regurgitation of convenient plot globe that is conveniently pointing to the convenient place the Penguins already conveniently are is convenient this kid not only picks out Rico to get the snacks out of but somehow knows that if he just reaches down the throat of a penguin he'll be able to find something and why are these kids who came in this place with no backpack not concerned that they now have backpacks on kids no one sees this severely conspicuous seit Sushi snacking I want to help the team really help the team movie is trying desperately to get me emotionally invested in skip flash a go the four words Warner Brothers regrets saying a few years ago somehow made their way into the script these leopard seals are about to break through this glass and Beyond the nightmare that is thinking this would even be possible why does the water that spills out barely cover the floor of this room I've seen Mission Impossible and that tank was much smaller I know what this should look like the Penguins just walked right in the area with no issue so why do classified and Company have to sneak in I know Hollywood thinks we love seeing circles cut through walls and glass and to be fair we absolutely do but on me so off I guess this movie has decided that leopard seals are the glass Breakers of the sea and I don't know how I feel about that too much too much too much too much too much thinking that this movie has any clue whatsoever when it's reached too much so earlier when corpal said goch he had to go get this device so he could what stationary zipline in front of a boat he could have just ridden on to begin with and why did he have to fetch it in the first place instead of just grabbing it and hooking it on while running on the dog was your dogs fetch things joke really worth it movie kski sick as a dog and Rico keeps trying to eat him penguin cannibal penguines can engin also I did not have penguin centipede on my sins bingo card today but here we are marking your days on the outside of your cell where you can't even see them those two are very close to together I I mean you know intertwined physically this movie is horny D I picked the die version can someone make sure this is the die version we celebrate with a well earned High one and feast of Dave's sweet remains so Dave's remains would turn into a pineapple I'd at the very least rather watch the movie where that happens than this Corporal dim the lights short fuse glasses Corporal doesn't end up with at least third degree burns on his paw after putting out the fire with it see that I don't even look back there's a huge explosion and I just keep walking pointing out your own cliches his his is better well considering you were already beaten fored two before you voted Skipper not sure why your comments matter but yet we still have to take time out of our Lives to listen to them we take this shame to our Graves being ashamed of these spiffy Duds but not being ashamed to run around the first half of the movie covered in cheesy double [Music] dust the movies all right boys grab your coconuts and hold them tight get it it's a testicles joke do you get it also where the were they keeping the Coconuts hidden actually now that I say that out loud even if you have that info I am no longer interested in knowing it horrible mutant Penguins Unleashed on the streets of New York City teasing us with a much better finale than the movie delivers so does it reload now is there a full new chair that comes out why waste ammunition and Supplies on a pre-ride audience demonstration oh no we're dead dead dead dead again huge Army of octopi perhaps he's having trouble understanding your incorrect plural for octopuses octopi is a very different thing that combines Sushi and dessert similar to kiamari listen up Doris it's worth mentioning that that Skipper has correctly identified this person as Dave for the last 30 minutes of the movie but is returning to this tired joke now because comedy feeling the need to write out that it's New York for us when we can see the Statue of Liberty breaking news the missing penguins have been found I'm going to go ahead and say missing Penguins would never get breaking news treatment in New York City maybe in Boise Idaho but not New York City thinking that these barriers could stop penguins from escaping when we've already seen them do this and this somebody called the exterminators who apparently ready with the line of extermination vacuums to pull up in dramatic fashion just like they teach in extermination school don't need that having the same fears as DJ calad I need my Skipper hey that's me he's talking to me I'm the skipper I've got you little buddy skip that cookie SLC cake looks lovely but where and how exactly do you bake that in the Arctic The Avengers spin is the new Matrix bullet Dodge isn't it I figured if we could reverse the ray we could turn everyone back to normal they will now figure out how to reverse the ray I'm the secret weapon I no longer know what's going on guys Char St on the r Helen Hunt them down William Hurt them H bury them you Jackman the battle station okay game recognized game that was a good run Jeffrey rush in a sin removal before I change my mind we're only going to get one shot at this boys how could you possibly know that you don't even know if the ray is going to do what you wanted to do dead batteries no low batteries there's difference and that difference is the sum of a single sin not checking what kind of batteries you need before going to the store to get batteries there's just too many of them I scream you scream we all scream for de ice creaming them oh that's why you look back at the explosion you were sideswiped by the vehicle so looking back wouldn't have done a thing to help you even if I could believe that the Dibble skiber launches would stay on course to hit the button activating the machine I still can't buy that the dible would be able to apply enough pressure to push the button that would activate the machine private Saving Private crying looks don't matter it's what you do that counts and ironically what he did was save how everyone looked which you're now saying doesn't matter so way to contradict your own lesson bro the transition from this to this is all the what are you kidding me also to be clear the movie expects us to believe Dave was shrunk and then placed inside a snow globe by the machine that is a thing that is actually happening right now the point is I was wrong about you you were not jetpacks are awesome I honestly thought jetpack technology would be cooler by 2185 oh well why does this carow always smell of chees Puffs very good push push Rico Sonic incursion device open the door kski analysis well let's see first the Earth cooled and then the dinosaurs came but they got too big in fat so they all died and they turned into oil the only thing that has kept me going all these years is my burning thirst for revenge and my precious souvenir snow globe collection snow globe collection de Dave Dave hi Christopher I'm Nero now where was Mania they gave us badges we don't need no badges is Penguins crested penguin parent penguin heading it's aive it's aive it's a li you do you expect me to talk no Mr BN I expect you to die it's like I can still hear his little voice calling to us here here we here no hanging around around hanging around kids got alligator blood can't get rid of him

Channel: CinemaSins

Views: 200,489

Keywords: wave jockey job, cinemasins, cinema sins, everything wrong with, eww, movie, review, movie review, penguins of madagascar, penguins review, penguins of madagascar movie, penguins of madagascar sins, penguins of madagascar review, penguins of madagascar cinemasins, movie review sins, madagascar movie, madagascar movie review, madagascar cinemasins, madagascar cinema sins, madagascar sins, penguins of madagascar cinema sins

Id: xBACiTY6qrg

Length: 17min 5sec (1025 seconds)

Published: Thu Mar 07 2024