Everything Wrong With CinemaSins: Spider-Man: No Way Home in 27 Minutes or Less

hey what's up everyone birdman here really quick announcement youtube has finally enabled super thanks on my channel if you don't know what super thanks says it's the little heart near the description of the video that allows you to send me a highlighted comment and donate to support this channel and as a thank you for your support i will be reading the super thanks comments at the end of these videos and yes that includes the negative ones and funny voices as well and as always if you haven't seen the previous video in this series well you know what to do [Music] good [Music] 58 seconds of advertisements which would be fine as you got to pay the bills like everyone else except you yourself have set the precedent of getting on with it i normally wouldn't even send this but as this series is meant to do to you what you do to movies as sins of sin are you sure you want to commence the drone attack there will be significant casualties do it execute them all oh this movie is starting with manipulated footage of a good guy to make it seem like he killed a lot of innocent people does that mean we're gonna get the running spiderman now that's a multiverse i can get behind but jeremy you have already seen this footage in far from home what's the point of pretending this is new footage and that this film is starting with manipulated footage you wouldn't happen to be patting the sin count would you nah you'd never do that also a extraordinary one minute and nine seconds of logos exactly my point two sins ago the entire point of this sin is that the movie isn't getting on with it so why do you do this exact thing and advertise at the beginning of your videos isn't branding their way of paying the bills also that was a nice amount of time for that logo i would have removed to send over 420 of them spider-man slings his way into a subway tunnel on east 59th street in manhattan and emerges on 47th street in queens for an altogether unnecessary eight miles of subway tunnel travel that most likely would have ended in death it obviously wasn't unnecessary as you skipped over the beginning spider-man and michelle were being hounded by people in helicopters they traveled underground because not only is that the best tony hawk series it's also the best way to avoid people oh no peter i don't know what to do if we can hear what's going on then happy should be able to as well and it doesn't take a genius to know it's probably not something he wants to be walking in on unless you're r kelly is that here when peter opens the blind none of the blinds in the apartment building on tv open up at all could you have even seen that what why is time choosing to focus on him being tony stark's protege instead of all the murder and what kind of a front cover is this anyway are they really just taking a pop at his age this is the movie poking fun of the morons that call spider-man iron boy jr those people are obviously not worth addressing but it's a pretty funny moment given they're calling them crybabies like this image if there's one thing you can say about the mcu is that they're self-aware remember the thanos was right graffiti and hawkeye exactly man i sure am glad i watched stardust before this because i would have been totally lost on who this was hey that was my joke i have some good news peter and i have some bad news i don't know who the [ __ ] you are why is it in the third dc spider-man movie do they just randomly throw in a deaf dude peter you may have dodged your legal troubles but things will get much worse there is still a court of public opinion man people turned on spidey quit considering how much they deified stark and far from home for his involvement in the unblippeting you would think spiderman would have some equal goodwill carry over from helping to defeat thanos right i agree it's one of my few issues with this movie's premise it doesn't make any sense that the world became aware of tony's actions but not those of spider-man so we have to assume they do know and are playing the world's worst version of the trolley problem i get that murder is wrong but to so quickly turn on spider-man after he helps save the entire universe is outrageous and they should at least hear him out but just like what people are doing to jk they're letting their one issue with the person discolor all the good that they have done no activists we are not canceling harry potter because you dislike rowling we're canceling wb for firing johnny depp peter and aunt may live pretty high up in this apartment building right like they were eye to eye with the news helicopter earlier when peter opened the blinds so how does someone throw a brick this straight and accurately from the street you have assumed it was from the street and the scene where the helicopters outside the apartment are shown you can see there are buildings directly across from may's apartment there are groups of people on the tops of these buildings with a direct line of sight to the window and as new york is known for people with strong arms it's clear i'm sorry i couldn't finish that line everyone knows new york isn't known for quarterbacks why does the discovery of major plot mcgoverns like this magic curie box always have to be pitched as a serendipitous surprise the unbelievable thing isn't that he finds it that the damn thing exists in the first place so what was the problem with that scene you admit he should be surprised about something and he was your actual problem is that the thing exists so this question was irrelevant i know it sounds like i'm being pedantic here but you're contradicting yourself with these words the sin could have been far simpler with you noting the device and moving on instead you asked a question that had barely anything to do with the reason for the sin you both like each other we get it hang up there's no new ground being broken happy would be andrew garfield at spiderman sits that didn't make sense if you want to read about our inspiring friendship you can now in my new book flashpoint i'm this close to dedicating an entire video to everything wrong with this single frame of the movie how did flash manage to get a book written picked up by a publisher proofed edited rewritten re-edited and ready to sell in the time since he found out peter was spider-man if an entire [ __ ] year has passed the movie should really tell us that but this is the movie telling you some time has passed clearly a book being written implies a time passage but you don't even need that there is a montage right before this showing the time magazine you were whining about earlier and the paint being thrown in his red and black suit you just weren't paying attention we now pause the most anticipated movies since before the end times to bring you two full minutes of college rejection letters uh yes let's skip over peter's motivation for asking strength for help this won't come back to bite us in the ass later in light of recent controversy we are unable to consider your application at this time based on what we know about abusing the college admission system i am shocked that peter being a super-powered vigilante was enough to get him and his friends rejected heck this kind of publicity should have bought them all scholarships who wouldn't want to say that spider-man attends their college uh jeremy have you been to a college campus in the past 10 years let's just say the patients are running the asylum also sure is a good thing mit told these guys exactly why they weren't being accepted otherwise this whole movie doesn't happen mit is like the person you're in love with in high school who's like i'd really like to date you but things are so crazy right now give me time to think about it and then one week later they're dating brad brad toxic masculinity this [ __ ] flash thompson still gets into mit even though he wrote a book about being peter's best friend jesus i guess mit saw through that [ __ ] said yeah but he's not really peter's friend so let's set this [ __ ] liar into our school welcome to the joke we've been waiting for you dr strange sorcerer supreme master of the mystic arts is a dick to these guys for making them shovel up all this snow instead of poofing it away dr strange is no longer the sorcerer supreme that would be gilgamesh that i mean wong you ready i'm ready doctor strange gets into this spell before even consulting peter how it will work or asking any question he doesn't even ask are you sure you want the people closest to you to forget you sorcery should have more considerations and barriers than a computer asking if you wanted to leak k19 the widowmaker off your hard drive and here's where i will disagree with you and by extension everyone that's been trying to make this point on the internet what you and people like you have been doing with this scene and the plot as a whole is applying an out of universe criticism to an in-universe character there is no doubt that strange and peter are making a mistake here but those mistakes are on purpose they are a part of the plot and characterization of these characters strange has literally been characterized as a person who constantly makes mistakes with magic his first film had him playing around with the time gym and as a result mordo became a villain in infinity war he chose not to destroy the gym or avoid conflict which led to thanos winning in what if strange becomes an amalgam of all the dark magic he consumes in the pursuit of saving his love interest this is who he is he consistently makes questionable decisions and pays for it later as mordo once said the bill comes due can't some people still know that's not how the spell works and yet that's exactly what you try to do here in a minute as if there's some mj ned and ant-may exception to the spell you're casting i doubt the ancient sorcerers who made these spells were all about improvisation and ordering omissions a la carte which is why everything gets [ __ ] up no what are you doing here recapping the plot all right fine everyone in the world is going to forget that you're spider-man except your girlfriend so not that difficult to change mid-casting then difficult does not mean impossible and as jay-z once said impossible only takes a week flash please come on and help me you know what i want okay i'll tell everyone that you're my best friend except that's really not what flash would want anymore right people think he's peter's best friend then there's a good chance he gets rejected from mit not if he can convince the chancellor you know what happens in the movie so begin spider-man ice capades come on see your favorite characters three times the villain three times also as far as everyone seems to be having with all the old villains coming back it would have been nice if some other villain we'd never seen before showed up from some other universe as of yet unrealized with jake gyllenhaal playing one of the unrealized spider-mans he could've had some major fun with that guys and you blew it but you missed the point of the fan service this was a love letter to toby and andrew spider-man films they gave you the best villains from the raimi films a do-over for the botched fox electro and a redemption arc for andrew spider-man they even threw in tom hardy's venom for the maniacs that liked that rubbish i wouldn't say they blew this at all especially considering it's currently the highest rated spider-man film ever by the fans even over spider-man 2 and into the spider-verse listen you get the fans to rank a spider-man film higher than those two movies it means something my friends and i just got a second chance to get into mit and if the school sees me fighting these crazy monsters the vice chancellor just watched him fight one of these monsters and that secured him a place at mit if the admissions board continues to see him rescuing the world isn't that going to strengthen his case even more i'm so sorry for dragging you in this list you just got to help me find these guys you don't have to apologize okay you got us a second shot the whole reason you [ __ ] didn't get into mit in the first place is because you helped peter do his spider-man peter's been moping this whole movie because he dragged mj and ned into his adventures now they get a second chance and peter asks them to do more and they agree how is it even possible to contradict yourself this hard not even two cents apart fam you just made the case mit's admissions board should recognize peter as a hero and now you're saying mj and ned shouldn't help because that would look bad to mit what brand of dog food are you on i'd love to get it for my dog dude we don't have a dog the hell are you talking about i'm talking about your mama disregarding the alternate universe thing you realize we have the same mother right hey shut up you can work in the undercroft the undercroft is this the place where gamers make tomb raider porn did you guys see that um no does his peter tinkle only work during the day you quite literally spoke too soon the very next scene is peter spiderson's reacting to electro behind him what's happening and introducing the birthday boy who crashed a party of hundreds of genetically modified this is the second time spider-man has been saved by something completely ridiculous this time it's sandman showing up for some reason anyway everyone who clapped when sandman appeared probably hated spider-man 3. that's the kind of movie this is let's break down this nonsense first sandman showed up for some reason you mean the same reason literally all the other villains showed up and second you're sending the fact that this movie fixes some of the issues in two bad spider-man films that is the kind of movie this is trying to make you forget about chasm 2 and spider-man 3 that's why people clapped what did you just do today no no it's okay it's okay listen i can explain everything you just have to trust me or you could tell them exactly what you did instead of repeating the same platitude over and over hoping for a different outcome hey that's exactly what i do jeremy sends something he does cliche dr kirk congress he was a scientist at ice corp when i worked here last i recall you had bad teeth glasses and a comb over how the hell would connors know what max originally looked like the whole point was that no one knew who he was and by the time he gained infamy he was stuck looking like a zappy navit you're asking why would one of the top scientists at oscorp know one of the engineers at oscorp i know the multiverse can be a bit confusing but you know these two are from the same franchise right i couldn't do any of this without you so thank you except you absolutely could and even a bing search would have yielded similar results that's true but you send peter 3 multiple times for using it i heard him by the throat and then i doc and electro both talk about how they were about to die killing spider-man setting the foundation for this movie's rehab the villain story but the movie seems to forget that several of the villains already had redemptive arcs doc ock snapped out of it when peter electrocuted him in the first movie and he died trying to destroy his machine sandman had a huge redemptive arc in spider-man 3 and left the movie peacefully connors was cured at the end of the amazing spider-man and even tried to protect peter in the end credit scene even if the villains as portrayed here don't know their fates giving them a magic cure-all ruins the redemptive arcs they've already achieved first of all doctor octopus was in the second movie not the first you're also forgetting these versions were taken while they were still evil and that half these guys died you mentioned octavius snapped out of it but the point is that he died in that moment sandman left peacefully but he was still made out of sand something he doesn't like yes conor's got cured but not before he killed gwen stacy's father if these guys get sent back cured the events leading up to their death and the deaths of others will most likely be mitigated nixing the need for redemption in the first place what is that it's an ancient relic the mackinac adavis the excadabra machina really i'd like to think my version of this sin was also better also the makadekadapus all right check this out first of all you're throwing too many big words at me because i don't understand them i'm gonna take them as disrespect watch your mouth and help me with the spell in the grand calculus of the multiverse their sacrifice means infinitely more than their lives how the [ __ ] do you know that we just said earlier that nobody even really knows anything about the multiverse he said they know little not that they know nothing how are you doing that i have no idea you should not be able to do that no explanation is given for this it doesn't need one that's a spider sense what is this place the mirror dimension where i'm in control honestly this doctor strange versus spider-man mini civil war shouldn't even be a challenge but spidey somehow comes out on top in the end this comes across as if you think spider-man cannot defeat doctor strange in a battle which is weird considering they are literally showing you spider-man defeating him in a battle spider-man is simply too fast for strange and has precognition this was shown at the end of the film when goblin tried to kill strange and basically all the spider-man reacted before strange could even think in the comic book world we call this getting statued which means you are orders of magnitude slower than your opponent which means you would probably be killing the speed blitz when peter gets serious this guy can defeat the likes of firelord a herald of galactus parker don't you realize that in the multiverse there are an infinite number of people who know peter parker is spider-man and if that spell gets loose they're all coming here do you want danahan to come here because that's how you get dana hot jeremy yells at the screen cliche you know what's cooler than magic math sinning spider-man for being smart fine i'll buy that peter somehow uses his parker prescience combined with geometry to figure out how to pull this off but why does that immediately mute strange's ability to bend this dimension to his will just like thanos in the infinity gauntlet you're not understanding one needs to use hand gestures to perform magic as you can see his hands are currently tied no pun intended if something bad happens i'll text you and then you just push this why not have the box nearby in case you can't text her you made a huge deal about needing mj and ned for your multiversal villain search and all you did was make them surf the web and you're about to bring villains around that may and not give it a second thought those three things have literally nothing to do with each other you just presented three separate ideas and somehow construed them as a single sin in response to this scene what the hell in fact the third idea contradicts the first if he's about to be around villains why would he keep the machina decadavis with him on the off chance he fails they tried to destroy it the thing that actually happens in this movie and then you said he gave them nothing to do yeah now he's giving them something to do this sin is what i'm saying it's a fabricator it can analyze design construct basically anything literally anything the plot desires man it is damn hard to stay invested when the writers are so willing to lean on the stark built-in cliche whenever they need a very specific piece of tech to move the plot along you say this as if this is the first time we're seeing this device it wasn't far from home the same kind of device that created the suit peter 1 is currently wearing the place where i worked at dr connors mentioned that max worked at oscorp earlier but it's weird that max doesn't mention it by name here and doesn't seem all that interested in the differences between the willem dafoe norman osborne and the short-lived chris cooper version from his world but sandman already heard it earlier what would be the point of repeating where he works when that dialogue already happened this is like saying 50 seconds of logos in every video we get it but that doo dad was at like 90 so shouldn't electro at least be a little weaker or does it charge up and then suck everything out on the last bar that's the case why not charge it up and put it on him at the last second basically this is one more mcguffin thingy that will work or not work exactly how and when the plot needs it to the device was working and almost rid him of his electricity the part you cut out shows that after he removed the device he began siphoning energy from the ark reactor now i gotcha got him how he's getting his ass kicked he looks heroic as [ __ ] right now plus you're the only news channel with cameras on a battle between four super beings there is zero need to focus on making peter look bad you're wondering why a fringe tabloid hack would focus on the subject of his smear agenda and ignore anything contrary to that opinion apparently jeremy's never heard of fox news peter's crashed through several floors and this goblin bomb blows him the hell up but it's okay he got that incredible strength of a spider infamous for their inability to be killed superhuman strength toughened flesh superhuman durability regenerative healing factor they did the right thing they would have been killed first off there are three villains who we know didn't die in their respective movies actually there are two villains that didn't die sandman and lizard doc ock goblin and electro all perished in their fights with spider-man you have power and with great power there must also come great responsibility this ring so hollow in this no no sinning this line i know movies need inciting incidents like this to motivate the protagonist and naturally the more dramatic the better but it's beginning to feel like the only way marvel knows how to do this is by taking an almost literal sledgehammer to a beloved character we've seen it with coulson frigga groot iron man black widow quicksilver yondu odin tachaga gamora vision ajax holy sh they really do do this all the [ __ ] time for a dude that always complains about stakes you sure as [ __ ] miss when people actually die when will people wake up and realize that everywhere spider-man goes chaos and calamity ensue i still can't get on board with the argument that all this destruction would be blamed on spider-man instead of the guy dropping the bombs the giant lizard that threw him through the window or the metal octopus man this is like blaming paramedics for causing car crashes because they're always found at the scene this thinking has already been addressed with the sokovia accords in civil war vision specifically stated that there is a causality that a hero's very strength invites challenge this is all moot anyway because this is literally spider-man's fault who went to strange asking for a spell again i just wish we could see him the sheer random chance that this movie relies on is unbelievable the arrival of garfield and maguire only happens because a ned suddenly has a history of magic of the family and let me stop you right there peter 2 and peter 3 do not only show up because of ned they were both already in this universe all ned did was open portals so they could team up in this house they would have both eventually found peter 1 through the usage of their spider sense i would ask if you've seen into the spider-verse but you send that film so the answer is obviously no but then yesterday i was just here yesterday what is the nature of the containment that doctor strange put around the spell he said he contained it but apparently people are still slipping through the cracks somehow in dramatically relevant order everything happened yesterday are you not paying attention to the time when doc attacked the bridge it was clearly daytime when peter 1 captured electro it was clearly night time when they all met up in happy's condo it was day time again do i need to spell it out any further or do you need me to continue holding your hand i don't carry an id with me you know kind of defeats the whole non-superhero thing dude of the three spider-mans you are the worst at keeping your identity a secret you have never given a [ __ ] about this and you willingly stepped into a portal and removed your mask as soon as you could says andrew is the worst at keeping this secret in the movie where tom holland's identity is the literal plot of the film the superhero thing why'd you do that i was trying to see if you have the tingle thing okay the bread bit is pretty funny but why does mj find it so hard to believe this spider-man is peter parker he knows the spell is pulling in people from different dimensions so i feel like this was more about showing us andrew garfield doing spider things than it was about putting mg at ease what if this was an evil impersonator brought from another universe you know like this guy from the very famous meme actually a lot of this movie borrows from that old episode like the paint being thrown at peter and electro and green goblin being on the loose and now here's the other [ __ ] just wandering around in street clothes like he's just coming off a 16 hour session at molly bloom's poker game i'm just gonna attack on a hundred cents for sending this scene not because you are contradicting yourself given peter 2 here isn't willy nilly with a secret identity but because this is one of the greatest moments in fan service history this is right on up there with on your left in end game and i can't be convinced otherwise i really have no idea why the garfield spider-man starts shooting webs at the maguire one did either of them get spider sense when they saw the other do either of them seem threatening why does everybody make uninformed decisions in this movie this is their spider sense alerting them typically when that happens their bodies instinctively react their sense was reacting to the other so they mistook it for danger they're hanging out super high up on this tower because why would they do anything normal like simply walk up and greet you like fellow humans because they're spider-man this is like asking batman to walk through the front door there is a clear front entrance unlocked and completely wide open due to all the [ __ ] going down jeremy sends batman for batman i mean this guy seriously just suggested that batman walk through the front door oh right he's already done that my uncle ben was killed i lost gwen dude you lost your uncle ben too are you even going to acknowledge that gwyn was more recent and led him down a darker path even darker than the one he went down when ben died i mean this guy was a villain for the better part of the beginning of the amazing spider-man try to keep going try to keep being the uh friendly neighborhood spider-man cause i know that's what she would have wanted no i'm pretty sure what gwen would have wanted was a chance to pursue that scholarship at oxford yells at the screen i hunted down the man who i thought did it i wanted him dead i got what i wanted i'm just gonna leave it there no need to provide for the context that that guy tripped over some weird pipe and fell out a window it's a better story if you think i'm a murdering [ __ ] what would be the point of that exposition a cinemasins he said he wanted him dead and he got what he wanted the entire point of this dialogue is to suggest that revenge does not make the pain go away i think i can make an anti-serum for dr osborne been thinking about it a long time oh no you haven't yells at the screen cliche you never had a web block because i run out of webs all the time i have to make my own in a lab this whole scene on the top of the statue of liberty is funny and all but it plays like some sort of three-minute video you run across while scrolling through twitter when you find out that toby mcguire andrew garfield and tom holland got together for i don't know crohn's disease awareness or something i decided to do this for charity and josh gad is there for some reason what the [ __ ] ned can't close the portal even though he had to have done it earlier after the other peters came through or did he are there portals still open in ned's grandmother's house you literally saw peter two say this um i hope it's okay i just came through this uh oh just closed i need max's cure yeah i'm on it peter i need the lizard cure just wondering why didn't they make several different sets of these serums for each spider-man to have and some spares the fabricator machine is a goddamn miracle so this would have been easy to do it's almost like the fabricator had its energy source ripped out by electro and was destroyed or something where's the box peter flint we can help everyone i don't care wait doesn't sandman want to get back to his universe and get a shot at seeing his daughter heck peter is even giving him a chance to be human again to be honest i don't really understand why anyone is fighting anyone right now but sandman's motivations are the most baffling by far just like the other villains sandman is unaware of his fate if he goes back to the raimi verse they were all taken away before they died so sandman's motivations are self-preservation at this point oh [ __ ] you green goblin i'm over it you could have been here way earlier and you weren't and i have absolutely no faith that you can take on three spider-man otto and doctor strange by yourself you said that like goblin knew there were three spider-men or even who dr strange is and it's weird to me that earlier you implied all these guys would take their own time to get here given their respective circumstances for watching the broadcast i mean presuming that electro goblin sandman and the sewer dwelling lizard are all waiting by a tv that's tuned into the daily bugle it could have taken hours or never but now you're here saying goblin took too long i'm sorry but this intervention doesn't mean peter 1 is a murderer he had committed to decapitating osborne with his own sled and peter 2 stepping in at the last second to stop him doesn't change what it does is take away all peter 1's agency and rob us of knowing if he's actually experienced any growth from the last two and a half hours thank you for pointing things out on the screen now would you like to explain why this is a sin of this movie literally all the peter's committed to killing the killer of uncle ben what you and people like you don't realize is the past three spider-man movies have been the origin story for mcu spider-man this is him learning that killing isn't the answer and along with everyone for getting his identity and losing access to stark tech he goes on to become the spider-man we're all most familiar with but this time make everyone forget who peter parker is no but it would work right yeah it would work how the [ __ ] can that possibly work the scope of that spell is mind-boggling this means rewriting every interaction that peter has ever had and retconning the memories of billions of people the stark come to find him in civil war does ant-man just not have a nephew how does she end up involved with spider-man does the memory of things people did with peter have blurring or a photo of mark wahlberg's face taped over tom hollands i'm frankly amused that people don't understand how this works the spell is for everyone to forget peter parker spider-man this means that those who knew simply will now separate the two peter parker exists but as a separate entity from spider-man who also still exists for his friends they never met peter parker and for may yes she never had a nephew it's not difficult at all you're overthinking it this was explained in the scene at the beginning of the movie which is why he kept trying to change the spell but fret not my sweet summer children this is the mcu any threads you think are loose will be explained in later films because these movies are all one giant story and you've simply ended a chapter not the book this is how all these movies have worked for the past 14 years except what happened with the leader which they answered with a comic you're saying that this whole place here it's just tons of super people was this movie trying to say that venom was brought here by the doctor strange spell when did the tom hardy venom know peter was spider-man is this supposed to be the toe for grace venom but with tom hardy the [ __ ] is the meaning of this this was explained at the end of venom two the symbiotes share consciousness across universes don't [ __ ] me cinemasins you've send that movie so i know you saw it but don't you mean i know what i said fb don't sass me right now goddammit thirsty well yes i am thirsty fresh water or salt you know because you're an octopus [Music] you

Channel: Th3Birdman

Views: 423,700

Keywords: the birdman, everything wrong with cinemasins, th3birdman, cinemasins, th3 birdman, everything wrong with, birdman cinemasins, eww, eww eww, everything wrong with everything wrong with, cinemasins sins, cinemasinssins, Spider-Man, Spider Man, Spiderman, No Way Home, Tobey, Andrew, Garfield, Maguire, Green Goblin, Willem, Dafoe

Id: BDWmE14c8lY

Length: 28min 12sec (1692 seconds)

Published: Thu May 05 2022