Everything Wrong With Spider-Man: Across the Spiderverse in 20 Minutes or Less

[Music] 1 minute and 11 seconds of flow goes 1 minute and 11 seconds of go do you know how long that is it's 1 minute and 11 seconds let's do things differently this time can we not that last movie ruled so can't we just keep all the good stuff like the music and the Funky animation and maybe just do less of the expositional character but his name is Miles Morales or maybe I could just go myself you think you know the rest you don't well of course we [ __ ] don't and I never said I did you said I did that's like me saying you think you like rocks in your washing machine but you don't it's easy to correct me when you're making up [ __ ] I didn't say in case you confused it with Chelsea Missouri on Earth 69 I didn't join a band so I could talk about my feelings that's fingest I joined it so I could hit my feelings with sticks that's stickiest and this line of work you always wind up a solo act don't hate on solo acts so quickly Gwen you can make more money all the pretzels in The Green Room are for you and um did I mention the pretzels already this 5-second sequence has more animated Stills than I can count and each one is worthy of its own video essay I don't care if they're handdrawn or CGI or a figment of my imagination it's almost a sin that they go by so fast you can barely appreciate them touch him again Ned Ned Ned you [ __ ] expect me to believe there's a universe where Ned I'm looking at porn leads is a bully shame on you naturally Gwen's father just happens to be the first cop on the scene for maximum I hate Spider Woman for killing my daughter's best friend drama potential it won't bring him back I don't want to argue about this allow me to help skip suspected also known asult this dispatcher mentions the vulture but fails to mention the most striking update that he also appears to be origami based this is a terrible place to hide your supersuit I know parents aren't supposed to Snoop but surprise kids they totally do and pro tip the drum kit is the first place they will look for drugs after no it's literally the first place they'll look vulture screaming their name usually works I guess that worked this works oh no what was Gwen's plan if Oscar Spidey Zack didn't show up either she's just resigned herself to a new face or she knew a spidey exm was on the way also these portals have been presented has an orange Vortex which leads to a tunnel we never see through the other side like a doorway so how did Miguel manage to pull this off with such perfect accuracy if he can't see where he's going we saved the multivers you left a hole wide enough for guys like him to randomly get shot into the wrong Dimension but if dealing with multiversal Shenanigans is your strike team's mo why didn't your guys deal with kingpin's collider instead of leaving it to Gwen and Miles H was it because that movie didn't want to introduce you yet H don't even get me started on Doctor Strange in a little nerd back on Earth 199999 turns out that if you add 199999 to 616 you completely break the internet's understanding of something I don't care about he's got Hammer space feeding I was told there would be no math also an infinite pocket Dimension where you can store gadgets and weapons seems super useful and I look forward to seeing how our heroes utilize this technology to save the day don't let him out he'll disrupt the cannon well that's rich coming from a Sony movie yeah I think it's a bangy call back sneeze suspect is on with what I'm I'm out of webs Gwen suffers from a case of the sudden inconveniences as she runs out of webs at the worst time possible even though this won't happen at any other point in the movie which is it hands in the air or get down on the ground believing that it's impossible to get down on the ground and have your hands in the air you have the right to don't get any closer he pulls his gun on his daughter arresting her is one thing but he pulls a fing weapon on her how do you come back from that Dad 20 minutes in and you're giving us more logos actually it's worse than that because these are the same logos we've already seen can I please glitch Across the Universe where this isn't a thing in case you confused it with Brooklyn of Earth 6969 expecting me to believe that broken teeth and demonia are the perfect gift for the child in your life I'm sure he's going to be here any minute Spider-Man movie has a Spider-Man that can never be on time for anything because they are always spidermanning around the city cliche game over why would this checkout display say game over that's ominous as was jigsaw in this place okay if just count GLaDOS was really thinking with portals he'd realize that once he knows the location of the ATM he can create the entry portal wherever he wants as long as it exits inside the ATM he can make the portal outside have it appear inside the machine and then help himself or you know do this to aing bank hey who left this ATM on the sidewalk one it's on the road not on the sidewalk two look where you're walking [ __ ] and three asking this question instead of hey why is only 20% of an ATM poking out of the road through a black ink stain that's weird isn't it why do people say ATM machine miles would be the MVP player at ACC s okay let's do this one last time my name is Miles Morales don't make promises you can't keep movie I guess off the Jeopardy this sin is for our world or any worlds no longer having the beautiful presence of one Mr Alex TRC but miles probably was still better than Ken Jennings oh that's too easy a task I'm still sitting this my mustache came in and out I made another mistake being forced to make a public apology for your choice to wear a glorious lip warmer you rock that snot catcher anyway you want Goose we love and accept I know is a Daydream but where the did that sofa go having an art book that doubles as a stalker book I miss my uncle sometimes even though he turned out to be the prowler previously on Spider-Man into the exposition verse ah in a minute ah I wrote it all this one word that's cute right the youth well at least you can make sense of his message took your ass three attempts to spell important your costume's too tight in the back by the way costume shaming I'm not your guy in the chair trying to make a popular turn of phrase from another Spider-Man movie work in your Spider-Man movie there are so manying Comics to adapt here why are we choosing to make these kind of call backs instead of adapting some fresh material no oneing sees this when miles and his dad were texting earlier it was 8:16 but the clock in this office now says 10:15 and I'm not buying that these three were willing to sit here for 2 hours no one loves a kid that much all units super I got to go what you're going to leave he's not leaving to catch a Mets game Rio he's responding to an all unit's call from the [ __ ] police which as a police officer he kind of has an obligation to respond to immediately weird I don't know I'm on the PTA you know how many lemon bars I got to bake for that I feel like soon to be Captain Morales had been looking hard for a moment to brag about how many lemon bars he had to make for the PTA also lemon bars under control soon to be Captain Moralis survives this yeah I'm kind of in the middle of something then why did you pick up your phone you really don't remember what you did to me spots mad at Miles forgetting something that he couldn't possibly have known in the first place and that is a thin premise for your multi-movie spanning big bad I ran a test on this collider that brought a spider here from another dimension my spider made you Spider-Man spot continues to be mad at miles for that he had little to no control over it's not like the spider introduced itself and said oh hey miles some nerd brought me here from another dimension do you mind if I bite you instead of him I just don't want to lose him you know my mom lost me in a Best Buy once naturally I found my way to all the TVs and they were playing like 10 different animated movies at once and I realized that all of them had the same old parent is afraid to let go of their kids storyline and that's when it occurred to me how overdone and tedious it is my mom eventually found me mid meltdown and told me to chill out stop swearing at all the TVs because it's not worth getting worked up about I don't know what the moral is but I sure a that up with those scenes and catch that holes guy asking someone else to do your job for you I think I kicked myself into myself just going to ding this on behalf of all the scientists and philosophers who are spinning so hard in their graves that they could become particle accelerators themselves at any minute hypothesis I'm going to put my head in that hole that is not a hypothesis that is a hypothe dumbass idea Isis wait why is everyone in this universe tiny I get that Lego pieces are tiny compared to us but why wouldn't they just be regular sized in their own Universe even though we've had our ups and downs does he have to do this as Spider-Man okay there's nothing explicitly saying who this cake is for but there are only so many congrats on your promotion parties happening in Brooklyn and I think he's leaving enough clues that this cake lady could have a convincing origin story right here did you even see the cakes there's some heartfelt messages on them predictably the cakes were completely ruined by his journey over here but what the was this supposed to have spelled in the first place for it to end up like this you're grounded yay after some exciting and totally not cliche parental drama the superhero is grounded this is super interesting and I'm sure he'll be conflicted for all of 3 seconds before deciding to unground himself and make this all notot when is bold to drop in unannounced on a 15-year-old in his bedroom or maybe it was deliberate and she's a much bigger creep than we realized okay so there's this lady Jess drew the idea that they could hear each other enough to have a casual conversation while swinging high above a busy and loud city is all the [ __ ] a vampire good guy I'd pay good money to see that Sony still desperately trying to manufacture some Goodwill for morbius morbius is never going to be a thing stop trying to make morbius a [Music] thing you're going to need it for the dry cleaning Bill sitting in a position where all the blood flows to your head and you increase the chances of passing out and falling to your death in every other Universe quen Stacy Falls for Spider-Man and in every other Universe it doesn't end well every every this is one thing I wish Multiverse movies would stop pedaling it's the this event happens in every Universe no matter what nonsense the whole point of multiverses is that every possible thing that could happen does happen somewhere it's already wild that so many Gwen and Peters are out there but it's even crazier still that she can confidently say that they all end badly as if the Multiverse gives a sh about ruining the lives of these two people specifically miles is far too confident that none of the what looks like 7,000 people up here including his parents will see this oh no no no no don't do that miles all right it's uh it's really delicate sorry no apology needed Gwen this [ __ ] just started pressing random buttons on an interdimensional stabilizing bracelet doohickey like it was a fing bit this is on him I um hope I didn't ice your game man no one my age says those words in that order mom yeah Mom what the kids really say is man ice hope our game you didn't I you have to promise to take care of that little boy for me make sure he never forgets where he came from and and he never doubts that he is loved how could any of us possibly doubt that when the movie has spent the first billion minutes of its trillion minute runtime beating us to death with family woes all this movie has been about so far is feelings and parents and feelings and parents and feelings and parents and Miles just leaves his jacket shirt and shoes on these random Fire escapes and how is that practical this random guy standing in the dark with a dog and a camera ready to snap a picture in case Spider-Man happens to show up Gwen's spidey sense or gwenny gurgle doesn't detect miles sneaking up behind her I mean it's hard to see s something that hasn't been fully explained but see if that stops me all right this is going to work or vaporize me and everything in this building being okay with these odds replay complete why why why why why Gwen is pissed because she was supposed to stop full body Roar Shack but was busy with Miles instead a problem that could have been prevented if the spider drone thing had been designed to alert her when Mr Blobby arrived instead of just being a better late than useful Exposition Droid did you go see your little friend what no miles I mean are you kidding me right now wait Jess knew this was a possibility if she knew this was miles's universe and that Gwen has a history with him and that Miles up the Multiverse why send Gwen and put Temptation in her way we'll find out there are hundreds if not thousands of spider people to choose from there's no way she's the only option here luckily for Miles this portal will stay open exactly long enough for him to ponder whether or not he should follow Gwyn into it in case he confused it with Earth 5169 mbon that looks good spot can literally kick himself into himself and I'm supposed to believe he still has a working digestive system in there and this is where the stole all of our stuff the British stand back I've been working on something new and it just happens to be perfect for this exact situation that I couldn't have possibly predicted it's English for we get along great and we're close friends saying something is English for but then the explanation that comes after the four is also in English all right my name is OB OB BR I was bitten by what you me you sound like you're an amalgamation of every British stereotype ever as long as that stereotype means you're from London going to show you my secret identity come out of here but you just told your name right I don't believe in teams aren't you in a band I don't believe in consistency yeah but if you consistently don't believe in consistency then that means you're being consistent about something right why are they all holding on to the same bit of string when single-handedly webbed a falling helicopter and you're all about to do the same to an entire building this is the best plan you had to stop spot a dick sure it looks cool but do you really have time for posing when an entire building is falling on hundreds of people of course the one bus that's in danger just happens to be carrying Petra's girlfriend because the Multiverse really does seem to be designed to torture spider people specifically excellent job yay the day is safe fortunately the only Fallout from an entire building falling in a densely populated city is a crashing bus a lost kid and a few sideways office workers thank the Lord and Miller that no one else was at risk and after a few minutes we can go about our days how are you even cooler under your mask I know right it's so annoying you almost want to tell Hobie to get out hey hey movie chooses to go partial who frame Roger Rabbit instead of full on who frame Roger Rabbit you never go partial who frame Roger Rabbit well you'll end up with cool world and no one [ __ ] wants that we did it this time okay okay person who has lost their family spends their free time watching old home movies and feeling sad cliche the fate of the Multiverse you always lose me with that you say the fate of the Multiverse and my brain dies okay which wise guy with the multiversal timeline and gave lordon Miller an advanced copy of our script to put in this movie take a crap on the establishment I salute you choosing to hold a baby that is not yours who you are fully aware just took a the spiderverse spiderverse huh that's stupid it's called the arachno humanoid poly Multiverse rotate acknowledgements and you weren't supposed to save him that's why Gwen tried to stop you bullsh he stopped him as much as I tried to stop myself from eating an entire party siiz bag of chips by myself last night and every night Al on we break enough Cannon save enough happens and we could lose everything living in a world where enduring all the trauma is a must for it to survive this movie hates Spider-Man spot does it having your world changing death coming at the hands of a villain is lame a spot also didn't Miles already have this life-changing event when he lost his uncle in the previous film why should miles have to suffer through more than one heartbreaking relative death that's up when does it happen in 2 days when he sworn in that's what the model says a model that couldn't help you you prevent miles from doing any of the [ __ ] he's done so far and all the sh he's about to do so maybe don't rely on it too much you have a choice between saving one person and saving an entire world every world but it's more than that right the universe isn't just Earth it doesn't disrupting these Cannon events wipe out an entire universe and why is it always centered around Earth is it just tough sh for all the other planets out there do their actions not affect this web drop what you're doing and stop Spider-Man i g your miles Miles Morales yeah this confusion is on you [ __ ] what did you expect saying stop Spider-Man would get you running across here instead of web slinging across does the Multiverse really depend on these people there's nowhere to run scene does not contain a seriously underrated jeanclaude vanam film Also let's get this out of the way miles should not be able to escape he just shouldn't I wouldn't like his odds against five spider people let alone the 500 or possibly even 5,000 that are chasing him here I've got you trapped in my well defined musculature so don't even B miles triggers this wrist thing to explode despite it being right next to his head like he knew for certain it wouldn't kill him and all the spider people on him if I hadn't said it before by the way you're a terrible Mentor calling someone a terrible Mentor because their mentee is fighting back so he can save his father's life the spider that gave you your powers wasn't from your dimension Miguel's gadgets can detect and predict canid events but couldn't warn him about this huge spider in the wrong Dimension anomaly there's a world out there with no Spider-Man to protect them because if it instead and this is Miles fault how exactly furthermore if that's the case does that mean if miles wasn't bit his father wouldn't become a captain and die how does miles change it a Spider-Man have anything to do with how successfully his father moves up the corporate ladder also if there are all these Spider-Man and women just hanging out here aren't there an insane amount of Worlds currently without a Spider-Man how is that helpful you talked about this you knew yep Gwen knew Peter knew Miguel knew Jess knew everyone knows which makes it so [ __ ] weird that despite everyone knowing that miles will things up no one prevents him getting bit by the spider no one stops Gwen visiting him no one stops him saving inspector Singh and you couldn't keep him locked up for a few days there have been so many opportunities to shut this kid down that maybe the Multiverse wants him to succeed he's only going invisible now why the isn't he always invisible at least for the escaping Parts initializing go machine no miles spent maybe a minute having the go home machine explained to him by Gwen and Hobie earlier and somehow that was enough to justify him being able to not only get the damn thing going but also rig it in a way that means the experts who use it every day are unable to easily Shut It Down based on a relationship that spans literally seconds Margo decides to say you Multiverse and sends miles on his way home no M gal seems pretty pissed here but can't his wristband thingy just take him to the dimension that miles is in I mean he knows exactly where he's going to go right okay he ends up in the wrong Dimension because of the spider that bit him but Miguel doesn't know that and even then that means there are only two multiverses he could possibly be in I told you you let him get away I can't help you yeah but that was about spot and not miles furthermore if Miguel needed spot to get to full power and kill Captain Morales for the universes to stay in order then why were they trying to stop spot in the first place there's no playbook for raising someone like her or being someone like you you just got to make the right adjustments at halftime thinking that halftime adjustments are a thing that actually happens I listen to pton Manning maybe this movie should too I have watched Sports okay unbelievable talking this loudly right next to a baby that you finally got to sleep I don't even have kids and I know the periods of time when they're unconscious or canid events that you don't disrupt lla would you just send everyone out anywhere anywhere he might be and yet it's only Jess that is sent to watch miles's Dad even though he is what this whole thing is about like there's a 99% chance miles is going to end up near his dad eventually so why not send 20 spider people to watch him until miles turns up not let him have it Mom I beat them all you did not you ran away like a little spider coward miles doesn't seem to notice that his room has been completely rearranged and every single item has been switched out oh no he's in the wrong Universe fortunately for the shocking twist Earth 42 is largely similar to miles's Earth including the animation style meaning what we spend the last few minutes being tricked into thinking everyone is closing it on Miles instead of enjoying him being in the paint Universe from Doctor Strange or utilizing his new sausage fingers if you do find him tell him five months and tell them we love them if they are as loving of parents as they claim I can't figure out why just going with the confusing [ __ ] some random kid told them about their son and not going with her to help find miles I guess it's also kind of fortunate that Jess the one with the soft spot for Gwen is the only spider person that spots her chasing after miles don't tell Mom we not bringing the baby with you you are not bringing that you totally are holy [ __ ] not giving SPID Ando a single line of epically morbid cage infused dialogue incomplete movies and know how sometimes you make a copy of a copy it's not quite as sharp as well the original well that's kind of what happened everything's going to be okay Jack Jack Jack you know what he wants do you speak Italian sometimes it just means I forget about it I'm sorry who exactly are you supposed to be I'm Batman can't have your cake and eat it too your cake all death did you order the cake for tonight I S youa we S at the cake first Miguel it's Peter we got an anomaly also did that panel just make like a sexy beep how did you get my pants feel funny Goodbye Oh [Music] disgusting this is merely superconductor electromagnetism surely you've heard of it

Channel: CinemaSins

Views: 741,016

Keywords: wave jockey job, cinemasins, cinema sins, everything wrong with, eww, movie, review, movie review, spider, spider man, spider-man, across the spiderverse, spiderverse, spiderman movie, new spiderman movie, spider-man: across the spiderverse, spider-man across the spiderverse, spider-man across the spiderverse review, spider-man across the spiderverse reaction, spider-man across the spiderverse explained, marvel comics, across the spider verse, beyond the spiderverse, marvel studios

Id: MDqhtgq8yXI

Length: 20min 46sec (1246 seconds)

Published: Tue Dec 12 2023