Episode 140 - Hungry Tech Dudes

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what's up guys welcome to the TMG podcast this is actually today's episode today's free episode but if you want the bonus episode that went up today as well you can find that on our patreon that's patreon.com slash tiny meet gang and that the free episode will be ad free as well on there so and if not thanks and enjoy this one peace peace everyone welcome back welcome back to two small meatboys podcasts yeah Cody and I are doing this confession style today cuz I don't have a webcam and he has his turned off so confession style yeah tell me tell me son what's been troubling you oh man I bought the Gwyneth Paltrow vagina candles some time and how does that how has that been affecting you mmm I want to lick it father mm-hmm so what is it you did I liked it I like that hmm well let me ask you this let me ask you this does it really smell like [ __ ] and this is just me asking this isn't like a church thing does it smell it smells it has the Musk that's it I knew it I was telling Paul I said this I probably does smell like it do you have a little boy oh man starting early oh no not with a bang oh my god go to some priest quarters I was a candle on the end the scent is kids playing outside all right anyways hopscotch flavored scented I mean I hop scotch flavored just chalking tastes like pretty shocked yeah there's like chalk and children's laughter no egg was this morning but it was goop [ __ ] wait what were you gonna say I cut you off sorry that I wasn't gonna say anything Oh goop should have been the name of like a post-workout shake that like fitness influencers strength yeah I don't know I don't maybe I've said this before but I just cracks me up that all fitness instagramers do on their stories is brag about like eating sludge like that's what shakes are it's just sludge yeah just done yeah look at my Green sludge I'm better than you it's vegan it's 75% Soylent yeah them and when tech dudes were all drinking Soylent no when the [ __ ] was that I mean I could be like this that one like 2014 is when Soylent because it wasn't Soylent like a military invention or something like that maybe like they need MREs to write code yeah it became like the new hot [ __ ] in Silicon Valley all these people thought that they didn't have to eat food well so and so Soylent like would sell their product to these tech entrepreneurs and people which weren't eating for weeks they were just drinking Soylent it's so [ __ ] dude first of all the first world privileged to be like I don't want food anymore yeah I'm bored of it or it's maybe that's what it was something to to help combat hunger or something what was swelling originally invented for Jamiat right Jamie that [ __ ] right now in do so funny to be like I don't want to eat food I know and then this part that's probably why all these insane apps came about because everyone was so [ __ ] hungry yes making of crazy [ __ ] that's why there's door - grub hub caviar all right all right all right what if someone was like at a task service and they brought you food yes they brought you food [Laughter] [Laughter] devs working superfast got new food food food food Reinhardt is the guy who invented it claims a host of health benefits from the drink and noted that a hit had greatly reduced his monthly food bill which fell from four hundred and seventy dollars u.s. to one hundred and fifty five dollars u.s. and the time spent behind the preparation and consumption of food while it's providing him greater control over his nutrition that's like one of the therapeutic parts about food making it cooking it yeah I know being involved in in what what you like what you don't like it's like one of the joys of life it's so funny it's such I feel like that's like it's just something from Silicon Valley subjective being like the ultimate just like stoic no pleasure no sex no nothing yeah meditation every morning no food yeah no forms of pleasure yeah just just code and improving humanity through door - yeah he sits in a Zen garden he thinks about how he can [ __ ] everyone over into making millions how can I further late-stage capitalism and ruin everybody ah a task service that has kids for you [Laughter] hos mates Post Macy's Post Mays needs to do like a free Soylent day you know they do like ice cream today all day Soylent is free all the fitness instagramers all [ __ ] choice it's that's all fitness people do they just eat they do they eat sludge and and a food that is like like has to be seasoned out the ass so they can't taste that it's [ __ ] tree bark like that's not it's not a new take that Fitness food looks miserable but it is this well why don't we make one called sludge yeah we yeah that should be our drink product man it's just sludge and it's healthy and and everything is an ironic look at me drinking my sludge and I'm better than you and it's literally just mud yeah it's just water and dirt and sand Fitness mud it's completely as natural couldn't get more natural than yeah you know we see you know completely it's just soil yeah it always is oh we should still we should we should be the first to produce like Fitness rated mud so people can build like Tough Mudder [ __ ] in their backyard and I feel could be so fun if we just sold packs of Mick's and people like oh yeah you got to pay $60 a pound for this specialized mud to dry yeah this one has higher resistance yeah this is a little bit more for beginners a little bit more water and this one so you can [ __ ] army crawl through it easier and the viscosity is tested and it's perfect we should make Tough Mudder packs you order it in the mail and then you can set up your own little thing in the backyard comes with barbed wire comes with a climbing wall I feel like I feel like Tough Mudder events are just for husbands to get away from their clingy wives like in real time they say babe we should do a Tough Mudder race yeah and it just takes off and you just leaves our acid [ __ ] workout one just drowning in the [ __ ] over head to toe in mud dismissive The Dude's just like conquering the road yeah just barely even get through the first [ __ ] why didn't you tell me to train for this yeah five hundred feet ahead air pods in he just can't hear he's like I'm [ __ ] out of here [Laughter] sludge mud coming to do a fitness store near you what's up guys Cody lives here just finish my morning sludge and I'm about to hit some fasted cardio right now I'm still fasted because the sludge has zero nutrients it's literally just dirt and that's the best thing about it keeps you full you know doesn't do anything for you you know like the [ __ ] like the big-ass hose from like a concrete truck that like just pours a yeah yeah I just picture at the end of like a Tough Mudder event all these people just gathered around with they're looking up with their mouths open and a dude just standing on a podium just dumping sludge under their [ __ ] faces like you did it like yes give it just dudes walking around with t-shirt cannons just full of yes full of mud people grabbing the cannons with two hands and putting their heads into it it's like a straw challenge [Laughter] [Laughter] have any of you thought we're gonna tackle some serious issues today nope we talked about sludge Oh doesn't mean our about sludge [Laughter] dude speaking of speaking of sludge man way hold on hold on yes speaking of sludge we haven't done a relationship advice in a while and yes what just fits perfectly oh it's great don't you read the title of this cuz my OBS just crashed so I'll fix that well how'd you read this yeah let me pull it up real quick we really haven't done one of these in a long time by the way I also after this we should talk about the Belle Delphine oh yeah yeah yeah okay didn't didn't she like sometimes she sampled our [ __ ] yeah that's for the fine that's the funny thing all right speaking of [ __ ] it would but isn't it like we given her free promo who her I don't give white I mean I don't give a [ __ ] is it is she of like a bad person I don't know man Jesus all right dude it's we can't not it's so funny and like the fact that people think is us in the [ __ ] video wait what it's yeah I got if didn't you get a [ __ ] in a tweets being like yo is this you know they sampled somebody saying that's [ __ ] gay oh really sounds like they took it from the podcaster from something and so I got a [ __ ] ton of messages being like I swear to god this is your voice turns out is not it's it's they sampled it from something else but how funny would that have been no no he'll no copyright that [ __ ] claimed royalties yeah yeah well um alright what is this speaking of [ __ ] um you want to read this yes okay so we haven't we haven't done one of these in a long time and so we're back with relationship advice mm-hmm this one the title is my GF has skid marks in her underwear and I don't know how to bring it up without embarrassing slash shaming her and I'll let you do you want to do the honors uh i-26 male I've been dating my 24 female girlfriend for about seven months now we've been quarantined together and technically been together 24/7 for the last ten weeks or so I sometimes do laundry and I've noticed like that sometimes some of her underwear has poopy skid marks this is a 26 year old man saying poopy skid marks come on bro [ __ ] shitty skid marks yeah just a skid mark or just there's no way to say that maturely but morally maturely you know little little paintbrush pattern my girlfriend has marker smear fecal marks yeah panty panties poorly rated fecal skid all right our first notice got a little turd turd marks oh man I was gonna make a really bad Formula one joke because you know Formula One has three rated tires soft medium and hard right you guys skid marks in her underwear soft rated just you know as opposed to a hard smear you know yeah I got it hard smeared turd smears I don't know how to say this for lack of a better word she has turd smears in her panties got sludge sludge things she got sludge Stan there you go sludge things sorry for everyone trying to eat right now I first noticed a few weeks ago when we were at a friend's lake house and I was drunk and I noticed her underwear on the floor I jokingly point out to her babe what sash is obviously very embarrassed but we kind of let it go anyway I did a load this week sounds like she did a load this week too and like three of her underwear had them so now I'm one if this is a real issue to address she's well put together in grad school very smart and pretty and it's very good hygiene otherwise but I'm trying figure out how to bring this up without making her feel bad about herself bro what if this is just blood and this dude has no idea how a period works um there's actually yet stain in her underwear and I think it's due to she's like I have a heavy flow dick kind of seems like she might be pooping out of her vagina I'm concerned my girlfriend poops out of two holes I've noticed weird brown stains in the front of her underwear and I didn't think that was possible that's honestly it also kind of seems like that might be the issue I wonder what if any of the comments say that yeah we're never gonna know because I don't know what website this came from so yeah I've no idea what is this text are / no idea it's weird I'm asking for help and advice I don't want to change her or seem controlling she's amazing and usually very clean while it's def gross I love her and this is not a deal-breaker but I do want to try and help her in this regard like he thinks it might be a medical issue yeah hey I just want to take a quick break from all the talking that we're doing to introduce the sponsor of this episode which is talk space listen I think all of us are dealing with stress right now whether it's isolation cancelled summer plans economic stress we get it all right we all have something to on our minds and it's important to talk it out yeah you know I think it's 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what's on your mind and go ahead it's secure yes most parks base is secure and private using the latest encryption technology to store client information yeah what's an encryption protocol that we've learned about um 2046 or whatever the [ __ ] you know Shaw 250 shows a like that by bcrypt yeah I wouldn't expect you guys understand this is a computer scientist stuff all right let's just take our word for it it's secure okay we all need to talk sometimes and talk space gives us the support we deserve at a price we can afford match with your perfect therapist at talk space calm or download the app use promo code TMG to get $100 off your first month holy [ __ ] hundred bucks off your first month and help support the show as well because as you know if you use our promo codes then we get more ads and it helps the show and us and everyone involved so that's talk space comm promo code TMG I don't know maybe stop asking her to wear butt plugs and you know it'll some I'm scared you might have chronic turd itis babe I'm worried you have chronic to smear I'm where you have to smear blood slip panty sludge itis I'm worried you might have that panty sludge itis sounds legit babe I'm concerned you have the the turd piece nice tortora chronic turd area chronic front tire right diorite as I write is there you go this morning I woke up my wife took off for no we're not fine she got diorite Asst mid-thirties woman in the pharmaceutical commercial I take tramadol for my chronic front [ __ ] Dyer itís the first medical sounding thing I take percocets for my aweful diarrhea I take tram it also comes out the back instead of the front my awful Fupa dire itís like mom my stomach hurts oh maybe should have some percocet your stomach hurts honey here here's a perch 30 it's just doing heroin trim it all for my kids just knocked out for like eight hours area our friend comes over what's wrong with Billy he had a tummy ache so I gave him percocet pass that would [ __ ] diary all over the place just like it helped you know it just takes time you have to let it work itself off it makes it all come out then you'll clean it up it's fine holy [ __ ] oh my god all right I'm suffer from awful die aratus for 14 years have you seen that have you seen that postmates commercial that they're doing on a hulu or something no and it's like it's like some classic drug ad for old people okay and it's like you know it's like old couples biking and [ __ ] like that and like during that they threw a field and a nice sunny day and then and eventually the narrator just keeps saying pad thai over and over and over again it looks like a drug ads so you tune it out yeah like I don't this isn't for me and then and then all of a sudden you tune back in because you're like why are they saying Pat it over and over again and then the ad cuts and it's like can't stop thinking about pad thai it's so good dude I wonder who wrote that man that's [ __ ] genius it's really good do they just like look to camera and they go pad thai like who know the narrator so I go over this is not footage know the actors huh I don't think so okay so it just cuts to like a title card and it's I can't stop thinking about pad thai I thought it would be really funny because like in pharma commercials the some ladies always playing with her kids and then she like looks to camera and starts talking about the benefits okay I'm just thinking like it'd be fun if she's like holding her kids like looks the camera she's like pad thai pad thai and pad thai that's high pad thai pad thai my pad thai that might be swatching Belle Delphine yeah just play it for like just just Nate might have two cents for this cuz it's like it's you know she's like in a thong and she like showing her ass [ __ ] like that okay we just need to play it just so we can hear how like weird it is okay all right fair this is uncomfortable because it's like a child's what why why why our boys because that's her whole thing I know but it's [ __ ] it's [ __ ] weird this is like papi but for Epstein like I don't like this man yeah yeah the [ __ ] is this beat dude okay it's I hate it yeah hey yeah we we off that yeah that's we all the way off there what the [ __ ] is the internet doing of people man so so what's her story so she like sold her bath water and then sold him and that was like turned out to be illegal or some shade so she just disappear off the face of the earth for like a year or some [ __ ] yeah now this is how she returns didn't but didn't she do time I thought she went to jail did she yeah what yeah oh look show that like mug shot and everything Delphine I guess it I guess that makes this kind of funnier that she took six nights it's kind of does this stupid oh she was arrested oh this gets even better who's arrested over a hamster what oh yeah oh yeah I remember reading about this what did she do um she was yeah she was arrested for vandalism after she accused a friend of stealing her hamster oh she posted she wrote [ __ ] give me my hamster back [ __ ] better have my hamster is okay so I guess my Hill speaking of speaking of bozo bozo 969 mm you think I mean he's definitely bahding his [ __ ] you saw how bad trolls did relative to Goomba did it has like 11 million plays no it does wait on Spotify yeah it ate [ __ ] it's like it's definitely not a hit no but I mean damn really does only 11 million what yeah I mean there's been this conspiracy that not conspiracy but I've heard you know that a lot of artists bought their streams and [ __ ] just to gas him up and make him seem big hey I I believe that six nine had height before I definitely believe that and that's why I think Fifi and bebe and all that [ __ ] has like big streams but yeah eleven million yeah a week is nothing for him zero Wow hmm I mean I haven't thought about the song one time since I played it the first when it came out hmm I mean I did it's not memorable to me at all I just I just I listen to part of it and I was like what the [ __ ] even is this this guy is he's done I just turned it took a weird choice for a second single my opinion Oh bro I think he's desperate the whole [ __ ] with him like you know begging people to buy it on you see that Instagram video of him begging people to to buy the merch package and to buy because he wants it to be number one so bad it's like just [ __ ] leader just make the songs come out with them and if they're good they'll speak for themselves you have enough hype and enough people will listen to it off the jump that you don't have to do that [ __ ] if it's an actually actually good song yeah it's over for you is done for that kid man he's I think it's yeah I think it's out of there did you did you see he has a song with Akon though coming out oh yeah yeah yeah saw that what and there was all this news about I I just learned Akon owns a diamond mind oh yeah he owns a lot of [ __ ] he owns like he started some you know he like brought power to certain parts of what was it let me get the story right Akon power yeah Akon lighting Africa he started it in 2014 so it seemed he's investing a ton in Africa but then owning a diamond mind and he's like publicly said that he doesn't believe blood diamonds are real I don't know about that but I've seen people openly I guess I don't know if critical is the word but they questioned his his intentions some people I've seen feel that he's doing this but he's you know he's he's it's a guise of philanthropy and really what he's doing is just getting mega rich which you know wild if true hmm wild if true I can't speak to that [ __ ] but I feel like 6-9 has exposed what we all feel and he's fallen victim to it and that is a guy making beats in his room is just not cool every time what's on one of those videos in this [ __ ] ankle monitor in his suburban closet I always feel like yaz is wack it's just gonna be all like that's just gonna be his videos now for this yeah the next foreseeable future yeah this is not just him and shipping his inner how many there's not enough colors dude yeah you're out of colors already yeah you used them all that's what other color you're gonna go are you gonna go to yeah also he's turning into his ex-girlfriend fellas [ __ ] are you prepared to unveil your summer dog I mean bod manscaped is here to ensure your post quarantine body is ready for the wild don't be that guy at the beach with a bear rug on your chest looking like you don't get up and win every day if you grew some quarantine mant it's the least you can do is make sure they're hairless right with your non-winners body I gotta say I got some I got some hairy moves right now okay I got some hairy winter boobs and I don't want these for the summer I want them to be hairless for the summer and maybe with manscaping with manscaped you can just you can do just that all right they have forever change the grooming game with their perfect package 3.0 the perfect package 3.0 comes with the essential lawnmower 3.0 waterproof cordless body trimmer and a ton of other liquid formulations to round out your manscaping routine yeah make sure your your your hairy moves look like to supple pieces of uncooked chicken nice and smooth moves this is the best no that's good yo man this is one of the history of man I'm not I'm not saying this Nate cut this out I refuse to say that I cannot say that this third generation trimmer features skin-safe technology to reduce manscaping accidents inside the perfect package you'll also find your dog along with the manscape crop preserver an anti chafing ball deodorant and moisturizer because we all know how painful chafing can be when you're wearing your bathing suit all day oh also they just launched in Canada so if you're Canadian like us you've gone years without using the right tools for the job that's [ __ ] up just assuming we don't groom we don't actually we need to be near our balls to be warm that's doing you can be one of the first Canadians to experience their life-changing products get 20% off plus free shipping with the code team G at manscaped comm do yourself a favor and always use the right tools for the job get that's again let's get 20% off and free shipping with a code TMG at manscape comm that's 20% off with Free Shipping at manscape comm use the code TNG trim your testicles with the best achill yeah like they look the same if [ __ ] crazy yeah with a wig on him something like that yeah yeah and all the shiny merch oh man Oh bizarre yeah it's yeah it's bizarre name you know man you know maybe um names his real identity bro maybe underneath all that screaming he's just he's trying to hide a femininity that he's just he's so desperately trying to get away from yeah maybe this is all for Pride Month yeah maybe all the yeah I think you think he wakes up in the mirror and and he puts on his blue contacts and licks his lips and then he's like no no burly truck oh yeah those blue what is that a filter what is that it's like a filter yeah okay weird he's like it's like resisting the urge to get on Grindr everyday yeah and show off show off his blue eyes like Nikon I'm not I'm not I'm not yeah you're not yeah yeah I'm six nine I'm the guy I'm scum mosquitoes pack yeah I love skittles that's what this all all this is it's just I love skittles yeah he's just looking for his skittles brand deal but I mean if he if he stayed on his career now actually I don't think so I don't think skittles would have went for it there's no way he's like the least brandable person mm-hmm yeah dude speaking of brands I found out that so there's like a particular race League talking to this kid he's 18 he drives in gt3 which is like the league gg3 meaning like for like f1 there's a teen driving in this league and he was telling me that he was telling me kind of the cost of like a car and it's not really that expensive and but uh what's crazy is the league allows for gentlemen drivers so if you're like [ __ ] rich he says that rich guys just enter into races like dinner they're not well-trained racecar drivers they just have a fuckload of money and they want a race they can just buy a car and do that [ __ ] which is [ __ ] nuts and they're called gentleman drivers so-called gentleman drivers yeah gentlemen gentlemen yeah pulls up some old dude pulls up and what every time like Ferraris and stuff like that oh yeah like yeah Ferraris language that chief yeah he's gentlemen he's like gentlemen are we racing for pink slips today gentlemen are you talking about man get off the grid all these other dudes in racing suits and he's wearing just like a cardigan yeah yeah he's a [ __ ] he's got a pipe yeah just old money [ __ ] gentlemen gentlemen I want a clean race today gentlemen and it better not be anything beyond than that or we'll get into the fisticuffs you see so are you thinking about doing it you're gonna become a gentleman racer yeah we've come and gentlemen driver [ __ ] dude I would I would you know it's slow enough that I I would you know it's it's only like 500 horsepower it can't be that much scarier than driving through in your L your home setup yo yeah yeah then then driving on the computer right yeah it can't be that much scarier than that that's it's pretty basic aliy the same dude Ivan [ __ ] playing this soon uh and the the realism is is hits it like pretty much close to home according like real drivers yo that [ __ ] i thought i fixed my nerve I did one [ __ ] laugh of that and I was my nerve is broken again I couldn't believe how difficult that [ __ ] was then what do you mean just like the feedback like from the car and like how able why is it Amanda gotcha it's a whole other world did you race again um I mean just like against AI I was just like doing I'm in this weekend did you know no the there that's like on hold for a little bit um gotcha the new season starting back up so they got to rethink that and all the pro drivers are actually practicing right now so yeah gosh yeah gotcha but I was just I want I was just saying it's it's it's funny to like imagine a rich dude pulling up next to all these cars that are branded it's like Pirelli and all this [ __ ] and this dude pulls up and it's like promoting his [ __ ] like wife's cookie business he's like yeah doing this for the for the wife you know she's she's been baking and trying to Bethany Bethany's biscuits yeah wait Bethany's biscuits yeah that's my wife James pull in the 18 Lamborghini car and then the number 6 car is Dave racing for Bethany's biscuits they must be most delicious biscuits they're just doing ad reads in the middle of the grid yeah in the UK if I do say so myself I love these biscuits I really do I do a lot for myself you do you love these biscuits I've got that's right here under the table fancy that I've just happened to bring a batch of Bethany's biscuits to the races desk oh these things are bloody good mmm matter of fact let's cut over to race control and it looks like a race control oh look at that all 19 of from race control are eating Bethany's biscuits as well so very very popular item hey let me tell you Trent I've seen Bethany she's got some biscuits of her own you know and in the number 69 car me and Bethany hope oh say do diskettes I was saying the problem with motorsport it's - its - like nose in the air it needs to be more it it needs more shit-talking I feel I think yet it needs to be more like the stock car racing that we went to yeah yeah it needs to it needs to I was saying like before the start of the race they need to have like stare downs like these dudes need to walk up to each other like forehead to forehead like you [ __ ] your car stinks [ __ ] you know something like that you know or just like you know just get like a [ __ ] like that famous uh wrestling a [ __ ] oh my god how do I forget this do his name this dude was like Cold Steve Austin no no no hold on ooh bless me is Jeanne Oakland this dude perfected if I have this right I believe he's the one who kind of pioneered [ __ ] stirring the pot like he was the dude who like you know so the Hulk says he's gonna beat your your skinny ass this weekend how do you feel about that and he's like what we call me skinny [ __ ] that guy Wow into f1 no no in wrestling like he wrestling on you like you know well that's what I'm saying that's what they need an f1 you know yeah uh you know hey man uh mike says you got skinny legs you gonna have a hard time breaking this weekend what how do you feel about that he says he got hips like a woman I'll break just fine I'll break you tell him his head his [ __ ] shape like an overgrown melon [ __ ] and you can tell him that Ferrari sucks what was that movie this Sacha Baron Cohen movie wasn't that about f1 um which one the Will Ferrell and Sacha Baron Cohen am I just making that up no I bro you talking about Ricky Bobby no no tell it a good night no there was another one wasn't there hmm um I'm looking it up bro I'm thinking about thinking about that one oh you are thinking about Talladega Nights I was like there's a lot of trash talking in that movie oh my god that's funny I'm gonna make the first when he's the first f1 comedy movie and it's gonna be about a driver with gigantic balls and he can't fit into the car he they have to custom they have to make the cockpit everyone else has to sit with your legs narrow he has to sit doing like 45-degree splits in the car cuz his voice is so huge that's a that's a good idea unique that's good and he's also really brave yeah he's really brave the best driver cuz he has because he has the courage you know he's got big balls of steel no and also his balls are actually steel ya know what if what if he has to get into the car doing the splits but like so he's like sideways in the car and it's to steer with one hand that's good I like that anyway ro oh no speaking of fighting dude I have to bring this [ __ ] up cuz this tweet had me crying so all these people in anime are retiring I brought up that dude Henry cejudo who like retired giving up two belts and Dana White was standing in the background when he announced his retirement on the pay-per-view and Dana's face was like are you [ __ ] kidding me and and now it's Amanda newness yeah now Amanda Nunez wants to retire why I mean dude there's literally no one who can beat her it so she like made her money she's undefeated and now she's just gonna be like whatever yeah dude leaving on top de les is a way to do it right yeah that is the way to do it the only other option is you keep you keep fighting you keep making Dana money and then eventually you just like Yeti and you're not remembered as like a top fighter yeah and then and and the young guys come up and they wash you bet badly and then that's it so yeah I don't but I'm just crying that the fact that he just said I will kill her yeah I'd like to see you try dude yeah I don't know and Dana's been on roids look at this [ __ ] yeah that's true oh my god hold up when he was talking about on her retired again - right huh Connor retired against I think that was in the sort of you know he's just kind of I don't know either trying to get attention or in solidarity with fighters about pay and [ __ ] like that I see god damn it this [ __ ] I want to play this clip of Dana White a bob arum about [ __ ] did i send you this I don't think so bro this oh my god this is so [ __ ] funny this [ __ ] is so funny you don't have to like fighting to like this [ __ ] where is this Chloe goddammit here we go here we go oh my god is it really gonna man I swear I swear I swear okay let me go - oh I'm gonna go Ariel Helwani hey guys I'm Jamie today welcome to the computer zone welcome back to the computer zone welcome to the p's okay the PC zone ah I just wanna take a quick break real quick to discuss Babel the sponsor of this episode been thinking about relearning that language you took in high school or college but think it will take too much time Babel can help you relearn that language fast fast easy easy it's designed to quickly get you speaking your new language within weeks with daily 10 to 15 minute lessons Pig Latin if you're interested in speaking that easy yeah I don't know if Babel has pig pig latin they probably don't honestly but you shouldn't be learning that anyways at this age bable bable teaches real life conversations you are not learning words and phrases out of context you learned through interactive dialogues Babel works because it's built around real-life how people actually communicate and what they care about with Babel you can choose from 14 different languages including Spanish francais Italian and German the speech recognition technology helps you to improve your pronunciation and accent and Babel is available as an app or online so your progress will be synced across all devices yes right now Babel is offering our listeners three months free with a purchase of the three month subscription with promo code TMG just go to Babel calm and use promo code TMG on your three month subscription that's BA BBE l comm promo code TMG Babel language for life bro a five [ __ ] spin summer while I find this this clip is so [ __ ] funny dude we have dude this tick-tock of the the chick doing whatever audio that is with her boyfriend and her ex-boyfriend city outside her yeah oh we gotta watch that after [ __ ] brutal it is brutal in the best way um well I love that OBS keeps crashing this is really cool yeah I like that feature about it oh wait wait are we good this other video you sent me is it the chick acting like a dog yes oh I hate that yes do there's one in the grocery store or something yes where she's like begging for water oh yeah we'll spin that up once I hate it I'm I have to find this clip for two reasons one I want you to here we go [ __ ] thank you let's go Witter I want you to see first of all can you see you see the pipes on this dude yeah yeah he's got some you know looks like a [ __ ] comic book character when the [ __ ] did he start doing roids dude Dana's huge yeah he's yoked alright but so top rank is a boxing promotion okay so he's talking let's do Bob Arum okay on top rank listen hit it so he and he leads this statement with you know we've done a lot of great things with the with this company and we went from being you know Oh getting barely any viewers like like more than cornhole to where we are now okay and uh which by the way cornhole almost out rated top ranked the other night for their live fights so congratulations the top ranked Bob Arum give him a shout out good job Bob you're [ __ ] brilliant wait so why does he not like this Bob Arum guy um it's a few guys I don't know like the beef between them I'm sure I'm sure it's like Bobby Aaron and it would talk [ __ ] about UFC I'm whatever I'm sure there's there's something there you know cornhole is such a funny [ __ ] sport dude it don't like God how bad does that have to sting that's such a good jab it really is the biggest I do a corn hole almost outranked you guys so nice [ __ ] work stupid yeah okay it's like the number one sport that people do drunk almost out ranked boxing and just good job [ __ ] ow ah that's good that's really good Oh Dana White is [ __ ] great a piece of [ __ ] man I [ __ ] he looks like a villain oh he is really he's real-life Lex Luthor he's you know he's jacked he's real-life Lex Luthor this man is terrifying he has eyes on his [ __ ] shoulder he really does that's a [ __ ] that's what--that's a hundred sixty pound bodybuilders thighs on his rocking his arms can squat like that is scary oh yes Jesus Christ this full squatting doing handstands he's just holding a bar with his [ __ ] knees their front squats by the way Bob which by the way close way almost outranked I don't have a big enough neck to do his voice you need like so much neck clamping your esophagus or the one portable Cornwall weight almost so congratulations the top-ranked Bob Arum [ __ ] [ __ ] I was good I was really good we got it it was good all right now that we got video should we uh which what you want to do you want it you want to get your little you little doggy you want to get your dog as well let's yeah we might as well let's go buzzing I hit public though I am public though why this is this is somewhat this is some dominatrix [ __ ] like fetish [ __ ] which is fine but it's done not on Tik Tok yo on Twitter fine Twitter's got more little sub communities more little niches that if you seek the stuff out then that's fine now what are you talking about tick tock got mad furry [ __ ] on there does it I mean dude yeah not on free time free tick tock apparently bro my that's my feed would just be like dancing dancing someone filming their dog falling down and then 200 like furry well that's algorithmic though did it my your you don't know you're just subconsciously seeking it out my algorithm is so [ __ ] I I got a I got I got served a video of these dudes we're just picking on their blind friend oh no it's just like it's just I just I just swipe I haven't mind you have an open tick tock in maybe three months not that's an exaggeration like a month I had legitimate haven't open that happen like a month mmm I crack it open I get served a video and the caption is blind guy tries to catch a football I'm like what and it's just they're blind friends standing there with his arms out and they're just throwing footballs at him it's just like clip after a clip I'm like what I I mean I did I told you about the the bar stool like documentary that we were watching didn't I know it was a bar stool documentary yeah the [ __ ] the dude the presidente guy he paid some like intern to make it it honestly looks like it's some you know a college film student made this documentary okay basically chronicling his life and then the beginning the beginnings of barstool and it's actually like pretty funny so one of the episodes is about how he has a knack of hiring interns that are just ridiculously stupid okay and and also abnormal and so he hires this guy in his name is blind blind Steve or something like that this guy is legally blind and they didn't know and I guess they found out like after the fact that he was legally blind but they didn't believe him so like in order to test it that he just would walk in the room and they would just like throw [ __ ] at him I feel so bad for laughing at this I feel so bad but he was laughing blind Steve was laughs oh that's so dark it's burning if wine Steve is in on the bit fine he's in on it he was in on it he thought it was funny there's like an interview with him and he's like yeah I thought it was funny he never wanted to it I guess he you just gotta watch it the tone of it is is funny that's kind of that's kind of wild to not want to be open about being just blind enough like that was the awkward as hell people like showing him pictures is like oh my I did this this weekend he's like yeah let's dough yeah yeah it's just like the color blue for him what's your favorite part he went - yeah I like it all man I really did it yeah anyway yeah but anyways that's what your tick-tock is is just all furry stuff yeah of fact I mean man I just feel bad now okay I just got this image of 10 Bart's little guys picking on a blind dude hey you gotta watch it you got to watch it no I'm really funny I'm sure it's you know whatever it's not as bad as I'm making it out to be but they definitely had an interesting story this okay bar stool look I'm not gonna say I'm not gonna say that I'm not gonna say that this is wrong but I am gonna say don't be a dog where is it annoying to be a dog what do you mean like you know this this this Animorph thing that she's doing becoming a pet or whatever yeah at the grocery store um you know what man I'm a hot take I'm gonna say grocery stores all right people bring their dogs and grocery store I'm gonna say that's fine okay yeah that's fine at a oh when you're trying to play spike ball okay okay and there's a dog running around and you're gonna wording her step on it yeah proposal this is uh this is such a good way this is such a good excuse to cheat she's just another to do is acting like a dog in their house like babe what are you doing no I'm in dog mode oh oh we were just sniffing each other's asses Oh God I was just sniffing his butthole that's all it was that you're in you're cheating on me jeez dog mode activated let's play this chat let's see it okay give me the book hey hey give me the ball I'm cringing so hard I just I would hate to be this boyfriend cuz you got to pretend like you can't get the ball from her you get definitely at the ball from her yeah yeah that's true someone on all fours made yeah just full mount just get the back roll roll onto your back now it's you know she's doing baseball bat grip you Yankee ball right every month like I think that's the part that sucks about is you got to pretend that you know yeah it's hard for the for the other person yeah yeah that's a good point it's hard to get into it like for her she's playing the role of a dog right she's not even being human so it's easier for you to get in that headspace mm-hmm cuz it's more extreme whereas the other guy has to pretend that it's just him yeah seeing another human as a dog that's harder yeah this is the toughest improv class I've ever seen yeah exactly yeah I would dude we should make a movie and we should cast they have what's the [ __ ] phrase for there's like a phrase I hold up let me get this right nether akin or some [ __ ] not that I would know this from reading another relationship advice where a dude's had to leave his girlfriend because she assumed the persona of a cat and had destroyed the relationship like that what what's away you got to find that one what's up now you have to find that one because it's so relevant to this way what's up what I just explained what's right it again what's up um the thing is dude when we talk about our EDD IT stuff it's like you know it's like we go into a trance and we don't actually remember what we said yeah okay someone did it right okay we'll pull this up after uh-huh so yes it's called like nether something kin I don't know what the [ __ ] proper name but are there anywhere you like assumed the persona of a sloth I mean bro or like a snail yeah I mean I I would have I would assume a snail yeah yes I mean if I had to guess I would say yeah dude a snail you just put a bike helmet on each ass cheek and you cover your stomach in Greece and you're just go I know that's a worm yeah but a worm it's slowly crawling in the house just leaving sludge behind yeah yeah seeping sludge I'm so please excuse my snail she has died Rytas my diorite us makes it really easy to get into my snail headspace all I do is put my bicycle helmets on my ass and I'm in my snail head space all right babe tonight I'm gonna be a grizzle I'm gonna be a grizzly bear and you're just standing on all fours on the countertop eating bananas like a psycho what the [ __ ] was I trying to say with this [ __ ] good anyway yeah oh we should cast a movie where it's all boyfriends who have girlfriends or vice versa that are you know animal headspace people you know cuz I bet you got great actors yeah that's yeah wow that's a good point because they have they have to really get into it and you could put them in really crazy [ __ ] all right man you're all Mars and you're fighting aliens and the [ __ ] is about to blow up action and they're just they're like this is [ __ ] easy dude I've been you won't you wouldn't believe this [ __ ] up in that scenes that I've done now this guy's a natural holy [ __ ] how are you that good wait did I tell you [ __ ] so I'm always [ __ ] with NEMA whenever we shoot [ __ ] and I want to do a [ __ ] I want to do a sketch with like a with like a passive-aggressive like condescending director I tell you about this [ __ ] yeah okay well [ __ ] whatever this is what that made me think of yeah didn't wait what are we talking about that on Brooke [ __ ] or now um now that was us being mean to this no we yeah we were just [ __ ] with him as a bit no I was thinking more like like a director to the actor like that actor like finish does it take and the directors like ain't cut boy yeah yeah yeah that was cool let's just do it again but less of the you know and then he like walks back to his chair he like looks at some [ __ ] ad and he's like like mocking the Perth alright action the actor goes again Johnny cut that one's gonna be bad let's go again it's like okay ow cut yeah you didn't get that at all cut not usable let's go again and cut yeah that was it take that's definitely it take um you you ever watch entourage yeah there's that season whichever season it is that Vince says the fire movie okay German director okay basically like slights him and kind of like removes his lines slowly and stuff like that it's kind of the same character and then he finally you know he keeps making excuses as to why he's like writing Vince out of the movie and Vince like and giving other people his lines and stuff like that and finally Vince like confronts him and he's like it's it's just cuz your shitty I think you're a shitty [ __ ] actor and he was like he was like no I'm gonna let's do this next scene and so they like he puts him up in this tree he's supposed to be like you know you're supposed like be caught in this tree or some [ __ ] and it's supposed to be like a super intense scene and Vince I can't do it and the director is doing that [ __ ] the whole time he's like again again man it's like let's go again and he's like no no that's it they finally go again for the last take and the director just walks away as Vince is doing the scene just walks away and Vince is trying to do it he's watching directors back just get smaller and smaller as a box of the distance this is such a dick [ __ ] move oh well there goes the bit either way no but you should use that no we should we should or something like that no we we I think we got to make the the nether King boyfriend movie anyway let's watch the clip because we've done everything oh no no no we did I meant I wanted to watch the grocery store one but I don't have it search well it was in one of it was in a thread somewhere through the top caught one of the few comments from this thread killed me the top one being I hate how much I like this and then uh so disgusting that's why I like it I can't find it good damn it there was like one more hmm it doesn't say your tik-tok name on there um on the actual video shouldn't it be like oh yeah yeah yeah yeah what is it your puppy girl Jenna alright well there you go whose puppy girl Jenna your puppy girl Jenna your your puppy girl yeah okay it's called this was the first one they [ __ ] did oh boy I'm sending it to the holon I'm browsing thread yeah the first one there it is man this this feels like a like a ploy I find something for tik toks from now here's my only fans I play yeah I promise you yeah [Music] [Music] I'm getting my water I'm still thirsty it's like this stupid [ __ ] that dog parents do on Instagram they give their dog a voice yeah it's like that but she has a voice she could just use it woman who kills me about this frame is no one there gives a [ __ ] that she's doing this these three guys are wearing [ __ ] Philly cheesesteaks and they're like huh yeah yeah they're getting off on them doing this in public like just the two of them yeah meanwhile like no one gives a [ __ ] what the [ __ ] I do that's weird all right I gotta piss then let's jump into the bonus oh [ __ ] okay damn it well alright guys thank you everyone look at your puppy play did it my bladder is bursting yes aim I've been trying to drink more water and it just it's just constant pissing that's all it is yes all that's changed for me it's just constant pissing yeah alright well see y'all on the bones I have one piece don't go whiz as well
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Channel: TMG Studios
Views: 219,476
Rating: undefined out of 5
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Id: ZczAG6TVKwk
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Length: 66min 3sec (3963 seconds)
Published: Fri Jun 19 2020
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