Dumbest Injuries of All Time

what is the dumbest way you have injured yourself i was late for class so i started jumping down multiple steps in the stairwell on one flight i jumped too high and hit my forehead on the bottom of the stairs one floor above then i fell backwards onto my back on the stairs and slid down the rest of the way i broke my computer that was in my backpack and got a concussion when i was about five or six years old i became curious about what the power connector on my atari 2600 tasted like i pulled the plug out of the back of the console and touched my tongue to it the other end of it was plugged into the wall it tasted like disco tasted like disco is the saying of 2012 i'm calling it now when i was a kid i put toothpaste on my top lip and grabbed my dad's razor trying to be manly and shaving it went straight through my lip and hit my teeth i wouldn't let my parents in to see it for an hour i still have the scar felt that one when i was a kid one of the lights wouldn't turn on so i climbed up on the sink took the light bulb out and poked the socket to make sure the electricity was still working and was promptly thrown violently to the floor one time when i was younger whilst trying to sprint out of a building i learned the hard way that many double doors have a support beam in the middle this story is so simple so great so painful cutting hot peppers and then touching my penis crying in the cold bath all night if you are ever cutting hot peppers and need to take a pee get a volunteer to come aim for you are hot peppers i was cutting some habaneros i never wore gloves because i never had problems with them before to pickle so i cut quite a few it was allergy season and my eye was feeling a bit itchy so i rubbed it went blind for about 30 minutes scared the crap out of me i was playing with the doorknobs on my bathroom door when i was younger and when i leaned back while holding on to them i slipped on the wet floor my legs went on either side of the door and i swung testicles first into the door i'd watch this as a dart gif i'm a notoriously restless sleeper i sleep walk sleep talk sleep sex the works so not too long ago i was at my parents house in the room with the bed against the wall and one morning i was woken up by my parents running into the room in a panic i was sitting up in bed and was banging my face against the wall i ended up with a nosebleed and a black eye and had no idea how or why i'd done it tl dr i faster planted a wall multiple times in my sleep and my subconscious is a [ __ ] i sleep walk sleep talk sleep sex and i was at my parents house man i'm glad your story was not heading the way i thought it will walked into a car door when i was eight and got a black eye my teacher called social services because i cried when she asked about it i was just reliving the embarrassment i have a similar story when i was young i was going to a family christmas party i got out of the car and saw a weird black figure under the car i later learned this was called a muffler i touched it and it burned it burned like nothing has ever burned before my parents were laughing at age eight after being bitten by a mosquito on my inner thigh i decided it was a good idea to scratch the bite with my dad's razor blade i ended up slicing open my leg the wound required five sticks my friend once purchased a denim jacket that he claimed could deflect an armed assailant from stabbing him we tested the theory long story short i stabbed my friend and the knife went right through the jacket and about a half inch into him in his anger he beat the crap out of me when my mom got home we had to explain why he had a stab wound and why i had a black eye i bought a taser and was killing bugs with it a wasp flew near me i instinctively tried to taste it before realizing what it was it flew into my chest and stung me i then taste myself in the chest coma instinctively tried to taste it yes the tasing instinct has been ingrained into man since the days when he had to defend himself from the muggeropteryx and an arapasaurus when i was 11 i was running around my house and when i ran past to this coffee table i nicked the corner of it with what i thought was my inside thigh i gave it no thought and continued doing what i was doing la la la being a slightly chubby 11 year old doing my thing i remember my stomach hurting later that day but it wasn't that bad and so i went to bed when i woke up i was in the most pain that i had ever felt in my life i couldn't move i was just screaming my dad runs in and is freaking out because i'm screaming my head off he was saying what's wrong what's wrong i yelled at him my balls my balls so he said okay well i am going to need to look lifts up my boxers and first thing i hear oh crap this can't be good thank god he is in medicine and calls his friend who is a pediatric surgeon the guy says this is really bad in that i need to the hospital right away dad carries me out to the car and we get to the hospital the guy clears his schedule and they are waiting for me with a wheelchair we get inside and the doctor gets me into a room has me take off my clothes and i see my balls they are huge and purple the doctor then tells me that he needs to feel my balls at this point i'm screaming and crying almost black out from the pain then he says he can't tell what's going on and that i need immediate exploratory surgery or i could lose my testicles i go under and come out of surgery just fine and still have both working testicles and what had happened is that when i nicked the side of the coffee table it had twisted the tubes connecting my testicles to blood flow and cut off circulation all they had to do was manually untwist them doctors said two or three more hours and i would have lost them testicular torsions are nothing to frick with i think that's the medical term i put a q-tip in my right ear whilst i was using my computer at home i began to type something and forgot that it was resting in my ear a few moments later whilst typing i felt an itch in my ear rather than stop typing i simply titled my head towards my shoulder which forced the q-tip down my ear canal blood was shed and it was very painful oh god why why why in grade 11 i was at a party my friend amy was having at her farm when we were all good and drunk we got into the stables horsed up and started galloping around i myself was not on a horse i got stuck with the little white pony so i'm sitting on the pony drinking my beer something spooks a goddamn thing and i go tumbling to the ground i broke my ankle so bad that i needed surgery and now i have a titanium plate complete with seven titanium screws in and on my fibula but my little freaking pony lesson learned the back of a pony is no place to horse around my housemate asked me if he could punch me in the face and i said no so he asked me to run into his fist and i did i took a run up and ended up with a black eye he assumed i was joking and would stop running before i got to him but i never considered that running into someone's fist would actually hurt no officer he really ran into my fist one night i was brushing my teeth i was extremely tired and instead of putting the toothbrush in my mouth i stabbed myself in the eye i had to wear an eye patch for four weeks and nearly blinded myself i was at a hospital waiting room because of flu when the doctor called my name and i started walking to his office somehow i tripped while walking crashing down in front of the doctor who stands there waiting to greet me broke my ankle awkward at least you were in the right place to get injured at i got a concussion by tripping up the stairs and crashing into a wall i could have caught myself but i didn't want to let go of my sandwich so i read on the back of toilet bowl cleaner you're not supposed to mix it with bleach not thinking there's any logical reason for this except because it does something awesome they don't want you to know about so in my parents two-car garage with all the doors and windows closed i take a bottle of bleach and toilet bowl cleaner and mix it in a gallon jug next thing i know there is white smoke coming out the top of the gallon jug and it's making me cough i back away and start coughing harder so at this point i run and open both garage doors and run to the back of the garage and open the back door i run out into the backyard where i cough the hardest i have ever coughed before i ended up having a really bad cough for like a week i didn't want to go to the doctors because i would have had to admit what i did and my parents would have killed me after a while it went away and i've been fine since so i guess no harm after a few hours the garage had aired out and i found two dead doves and a couple of dead mice turns out toilet bowl cleaner has ammonia in it bleach and ammonia make chlorine gas the more you know tldr made chlorine gas in my parents garage i haven't read the whole thread but so far you've come the closest to actually dying you're the firecracker guy so i had just removed my air intake manifold from my car's engine because it was clogged as frick with soot that's what i get for driving a diesel with an egr valve bit oh well and i'm preparing to clean it out with a pressure washer i had that thing ratcheted up to tupsy or so and the stream couldn't have been more than three millimeters wide i thought or didn't really think tbh that i would just hold the manifold at arm's length and spray into it as soon as i pull the trigger the pressure washer jumps and i spray the frick out of my hand it carved an inch long gouge in my skin at the base of my thumb all the way down to the bone so now i'm all like frick that was stupid i go inside stop the bleeding and put a bandage on it then i go back outside and decide to hold it down on the ground with my foot and spray into it to spare my hand but as soon as i pull the trigger the washer jumps and sprays the frick out of my foot because i wasn't wearing any freaking shoes like some kind of unstoppable [ __ ] tl dr i sprayed my own hand and then my own foot with a pressure washer btw if you ever want some body art that's not a tattoo you could draw a pretty sweet picture on yourself with a pressure washer when it heals it'll leave behind a very clear and detailed scar hurts like heck though upvoted for like some kind of unstoppable [ __ ] the shower bars in my dorm's communal bathrooms were very stout and could support a man's weight we did naked pull-ups on them and it was invigorating i tried the same thing on the bar for the handicapped shower which was two three x's long increased length of momentum meant that the supports would need to resist greater torque they did not at the apex of my first badass chest to bar pull up the bar came out landed on my tailbone naked was bruised for about a month one time i fell off a ladder and landed on my coccyx one of the most painful things i've ever felt a few weeks ago i ended up at some party after a night out i knew a few people but the majority i met that night anyway there was this spongebob squarepants helium balloon sitting about and for some reason i thought it would be a brilliant idea to burst it under my t-shirt so i jam it under and try running into walls a few times have people punch it nothing spongebob is standing his ground by then people were starting to look at me strangely but i was highly intoxicated and thought i was being real cool and funny so after the unsuccessful battle with mr squarepants i decided if i just dropped down on my stomach from standing up straight it would definitely go it didn't i basically flipped right on my face in the middle of a bunch of people and felt my nose explode all over my t-shirt and cream carpet i was beaten up by a spongebob squarepants balloon i really expected this story to end up with you getting stabbed i had just gone for a swim at midnight in the hotel's pool with some mates i realized as we got out that we didn't bring towels and i was pretty cold so i did the only logical thing i could think of run around the pool as fast as i can i ran on the grassy bit but it was very dark as there were no light says again it was midnight so here i am running around a pool to get dry barely being able to see i realized after the first lap that i wasn't really dry enough so i kept running i also realized that i hadn't gone for a good run in years and was curious as to what my max speed was nowadays so i am running as fast as i can which is pretty fast i'm tall and skinny and then white oh god pain whiteness frick frick frick feel mouth blood everywhere scramble for glasses so much pain friends laughing hysterically no one has any idea what happened though long story short i ran full speed into a support beam for the shade structure around the pool which was head height and diagonal i must have been closer to the pool on my first lap as i just missed it i chipped a few teeth and had to get stitches in my lip not the best story but i got a scar b love scars unfortunately for you we also love teeth i was about seven or so my friend's dad had an at-home office with an old copy machine the kind where the entire top tray of glass moves not just the light underneath well one day we decided it would be fun to photocopy our butts we saw it on tv or something i was sitting on the tray as it slid across the machine and all of a sudden there was an intense pain coming from my scrotum what happened was that the loose skin of my scrotum had become caught in the slide mechanism as the glass went through it it was quite painful didn't require sticks or anything but telling his mom what had happened after she heard my screams was quite embarrassing surprisingly little blood too and that is why i can't use a copy machine to this very day when i was really cool in middle school i used to wear a spiked collar and a matching bracelet i'm not sure why my parents let me out of the house because these things were sharp my friends constantly complained about me accidentally scratching them when my hand would brush by theirs etc well one day we're sitting in science class and the kid in front of me and i are joking around he reveals he knows who i have a crush on and i get incredibly flustered and decide it's the right time to freaking faster him only to get the point of one of my wrist spikes slunked into the bridge of my nose missed my eye by mere millimeters and i was lucky enough to walk away without a scar there was blood however oh there was blood never wore those stupid things again thus marking the first time the phrase when i was really cool in middle school was ever uttered in elementary school my friend had a habit of embellishing when he would get pushed or anything he would flop like a professional soccer player i decided to give him some crap for it and my friend gave me a tiny push i flopped down into the snow and started to roll i rolled an unnecessary number of times and was stopped abruptly by a pole to the face i actually did think this was funny and got up laughing along with my friends their faces quickly got serious and they informed me that i was bleeding all over i had split my eyebrow open from the faster pole it only needed three stitches and i thought it made me look badass at hockey games but it was dumb tl dr faso poll back in sixth grade i was a huge dbz fan one day i donned my wristbands and decided to beat up on the punching bag we had down in our basement at the time i ended up drop kicking it losing my balance falling back on my hands and breaking both of my wrists two black casts for the entirety of that summer i tried to throw a rock at a chicken when i was 12. i swung my arm so hard in the act i smashed my hand on my thigh and my thumb did a 180 degree turn backwards had to wear cast never hit the chicken well it served you right me at eight dad hey don't touch that it's hot me reaches out hand and touches hot metal 30 minutes later cut to dad and me sitting in doctor's lobby dad looks pee hot crap burns my sister liked to experiment with me i was six or seven this particular time i'd been bothering her to hang out with me she is three years older and lights years smarter and she finally gave in she grabbed two pretty sturdy pieces of cardboard some duct tape and proceeded to duct tape the cardboard rectangles to my arms i now had wings we lived out in the country and we had a 20-25 foot drop from the top of the mobile home to the ground because it was parked at our 10-foot cliff for whatever reason i didn't question her she told me to run and jump off the rv flap as hard as i could and i would probably fly nah instead i dropped like a rock into scrap metal and spent the next few weeks wobbling around with my body bruised and cut up everywhere i think this was before she convinced me to climb our 50-foot pine tree and jump with an umbrella i don't think your sister likes you [Music] i was 17 and trying out for a new baseball team and the tryouts were taking place on a crappy softball diamond that had been left relatively unkept for most of the summer the coach called on me to pitch a little and show him my heat which was rather impressive for my age after a few successful pitches the catcher tossed the ball back to me in the usual routine fashion but ended up going just a little bit higher than he had aimed i did a small bunny hop to catch it which is not unusual for a pitcher to do and happened to land on my ankle in an odd way the result was horrifying my ankle twisted clean around 180 degrees before snapping loudly back into place i had torn literally all the ligaments on the anterior outer side of my right ankle and it turned every color of the rainbow over the next few weeks including the brightest most beautiful shade of sky blue i crap you not i had ever seen i never bothered to have it surgically repaired and it did not heal correctly i should really look into it anyhow long story short i netted myself a career-ending injury over a girly little bunny hop and a poorly kept mound full of ditches and bumps not exactly the most manly war story including the brightest most beautiful shade of sky blue i crap you not i had ever seen this detail makes this story one of the most painful ones i've read in the different incarnations of this thread on reddit just awful also i'm convinced that your body was starting to turn into an avatar i had been working for a family friends trucking company when i was 14 when their oldest son approached me to play paintball with him and his friends they had an extra gun but not an extra mask but i rationalize that my unbreakable polycarbonate sunglasses should do the trick besides do people really get shot in the face whilst playing paintball i go meet up with the rest of the kids out in the back lot all about 3-4 years younger than i and play a few games well i knew that i had to get back to work so i became determined that we were not going to lose the last match i pumped myself up i am alpha two kids had taken cover from our hail of paint behind the open doors of an old pickup truck cab this was my chance i was bigger than the rest of the kids i was faster than the rest of them i was braver and i had started to grow facial hair so this was my chance to assert my dominance ordering the rest of my team to lay down some cover fire i sprint at the cab like a madman the kids dive into the cab and close the doors they think they're clever but as i mentioned before i am john rambo i run right up the hood slide over the roof and tear open the sliding window on the back of the truck i fire wildly into the open window hitting my marks feeling like a boss when suddenly a wild barrel appears i took a paintball right to the eye right in those unbreakable polycarbonate lenses i ended up having to have broken shards of glass removed from the skin around my eye i had to have plastic surgery when i was 14 to rebuild my tear ducts and the flesh and my eye socket i still count it as a win though as a former paintball referee this whole story made me wince in fear i jumped out of my chair and started running a victory lap around the house when i beat minesweepers expert board in 58 seconds slipped sprained shoulder was going to catch frogs with my friend but my younger cousin wanted to come with us i told him to go fetch something inside my house he goes inside and i try to get away as fast as i can in my bike he noticed that and goes outside again crying i turn my head while riding my bike and start laughing at him at this very moment i turned the wheel horizontally the bike stopped immediately and i flew to the ground then i was the one crying and my cousin was the one making fun of me karma in action if you are new to the channel you can subscribe i publish new videos every day until then check another video so bye for now

Channel: On Tap Studios

Views: 10,916

Rating: 4.9891305 out of 5

Keywords: dumbest injuries, dumbe injury, dumbest self injuries, dumbest ways, dumbest moments, dumbest, injuries, #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, \r, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, sub, reddit cringe, memes, comment awards, dankify, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, chill, story, stories, reddit on tap, reddit stories 2021

Id: xIIWiX1qF-I

Length: 22min 36sec (1356 seconds)

Published: Thu Apr 01 2021