What You Should Never Say to a Child

what is the most toxic thing a parent can say to a child we're moving and you're not welcome this is what my dad said to me while blackout drunk after he took my sister's pizza that i made ate it in front of me and then threw the pizza at me after i asked him why the frick he's like that and walked away we were supposed to be moving to a new place the next couple weeks after this fight in my experience divorced parents that say stuff like don't talk about that to your other parent tell your other parent this your other parent is trying to manipulate you you see what other parent did i'm not saying you should hate them it isn't bit freaked out that they did that it really screws with the kids head if you're ever going through a divorce and have children please find a way to sort your crap with your former spouse without involving your children more than necessary if you're so depressed why aren't you cutting cut deeper and kill yourself she also forced me to sleep outside regularly dad let me in sometimes after midnight she starts screaming and crying that she knows my dad and i are having an affair or he wouldn't have let me in oh and ugly remarks about my appearance how no one will ever love me or be friends with me which i guess she's right about that one i gave up everything i liked for you 95 why not 100 why can't you be like so-and-so's child they do one impressive thing a bit subtler than the top comments here but can eat a child's self-worth and guilt them well into adulthood and pass by standard alarms i remember bringing home a report card with a 99 grade out of 100 and being so proud and my mother saying there's still room for improvement 1. you are useless 2. no man would ever want to marry you three i wish i never had you g thanks mom for showing me i am worth something sarcasm two decades have gone by and it still pinches me today the list goes on but those three statements were repeatedly said i would never treat my children like that heck when i have kids they are not visiting their grandparents without supervision this time i will stand up to them i have nothing to lose this time it's been 20 years better late than never you're going to die alone even worse you're going to end up alone but said casually in response to a comment i made about a reality show that's my dad's specialty incredibly crappy comment said in a harmless tone out of nowhere lol but those comments say a lot about him and nothing about me it may not be as harsh as other things stated but the dreaded it's all in your head you are just imagining it as it turned out i wasn't imagining it and now i struggle to differentiate what's real and what's not because i was led to believe i thought i was imagining things constantly gaslighting is such a horrible thing to do especially to a kid you are not alone i always need a second opinion because i think mine is invalid and i imagine things i always feel like i am the problem in every situation threatening suicide when you try to set a boundary there's other things arguably worse but i don't feel comfortable sharing them this actually happened to my cousin her father committed suicide when she was eight from then on her mother became an alcoholic after losing custody of her kids she was eventually granted the ability to see her kids unsupervised which did not pan out the kids spent the weekend with her but pretty soon she started drinking very heavily my cousin told her she would have to tell another adult that she was drinking and the mom started calling her all sorts of terrible names so my cousin ran to the bathroom and locked the door behind her i swear to god the mom actually said to her own 15 year old daughter when the police ask you why both your parents are dead you'll know what to tell them i'm going to kill myself just like your father did and both will be your fault my cousin is so sweet funny and pretty and she's one of my favorite people in the planet she is so kind and she got dealt a crappy hand your cousin probably still needs help because she might consciously or unconsciously think that saying certain things to people will cause them to commit suicide especially because she is such a nice person i am saying this your useless disappointment do you think you'll ever amount to anything you're pathetic you're like a tiny little ant i could destroy you so easily i don't deserve you i'm too good of a parent for you you're an abuser it's insane when parents try to flip the abuser card on an actual child you're so abusive runs crying outside because you wouldn't hug them after they screamed at you so much spittle flew from their face when i was 11 i overheard my mother telling someone that at least my looks meant she didn't have to worry about me being molested or raped that freaked me up for years man i'm so sorry my mom said something similar but less horrible and it still bothers me she said the i'm not good looking enough to get a guy to marry me the only way i'd ever find a guy is if i have a good education and can make a good career out of it to get good money your uncle wouldn't mess with you if you didn't walk around the house like a mess not told to me but a childhood friend her uncle was arrested a few years after that but the thing that hurt her the worst is that her mother assumed it was her fault my mom laughed at me when i said that i most likely have a mental illness or a disorder then she asked me if my grades were okay and i said yes then she replied that it's okay i've been asking her to get me therapy for almost seven years now insulting your intelligence is a horrible thing for a parent to do something where if a friend or stranger had said it you might just laugh shrug it off but your own parents saying it a good parent should stay away from anything that can ruin your self-esteem because they hold a lot more power than they tend to realize my parents said i should have known who won all the world cups capital city of each country all meanwhile they kept telling me to shut up whenever i ask questions the whole time i was in school i tried my hardest to be the smartest person in the room until now i don't believe it when friends tell me i'm smart after i got accepted to my dream college my mom told me i'm too stupid to actually go and succeed i graduated high school with honors but i thought she was right i dropped out before i even went still regret it parents like yours get my blood boiling they get kids to believe stupid things which is not even you're the kid's fault and then effectively ruin the kids lives then they say see i was right ht all a low ng which damages the kids even further hope you will recover from that in the future and nbsp thank you kind stranger for the award the classics from my work as a voluntary wellbeing counselor why do you always make me sad or now you've made me sad i wanted a better nicer child you don't really want this i know you you want insert whatever parent wants i'm so disappointed now and combined with silent treatment and or crying if i have heard all four of these from my mother bonus i didn't raise you to be like this usually used if i made a decision that went against her own wishes one friday when i was somewhere in the 8 10 year old range we were going shopping we were walking towards them all behind a group of young guys in their late teens early 20s they were laughing and joking seemingly having the time of their life it looked like a lot of fun i pointed at them and told my mom that it reminded me of the song my dad used to play the boys are back in town an old thin lizzy song my mom looked straight ahead and bluntly answered you will never experience that it wasn't exactly the kind of answer i had hoped to get all i could get out of my mouth was what you won't was her final saying on the matter way to ruin a friday evening if your parents comparing you to others or they are insensitive to their actions my friend's parents always compare him my friend to his older brother and it messes him up so much that he has low self-confidence questioning my father on why golden child is so obviously the golden child do you love him or dad dad when you have kids you'll understand well now i have kids and i still don't get it when you have kids you'll understand why your dad was a dong oh never mind you got being a dong was bad early on and decided it was the right thing not to be one your dad is so stupid he didn't understand something a child could get not the most toxic by far but potentially the most common making fun of your kid for making a change in their life for the better i was always anti-social and the complete opposite of athletic when i began to try and work out to gain some muscle i got teased by my parents all that did was discourage me and make me want to quit this could go for anything is your kid antisocial the wee ll low oc w ho decided to leave the cave andy join us as freaking toxic and just encourages them to stay in their room if your kid decides to make a positive change in their life don't freaking discourage them so you can get an easy laugh after telling them about my sexual abuse at the hands of a family member it happened 20 years ago get over it already people deal with all sorts of crap so what defeated things to you if you didn't want it to happen you should have told somebody when i spoke to the police if you reported it'll rip this family apart and it would most likely kill us you can't do that we will have to protect him prison and people who touch kids isn't a safe place after the police spoke to them he is our son too we have to protect him abuser as well as you victim bit dark but it's my reality that second comment makes me see i'd have gone straight to the police anyway i'd probably also end up in jail on charges of aggravated assault every time i look at your face i see him telling me i'm the result of a rape then years and years later i regret never getting you aborted i booked the appointment and everything cheers mum in all honesty she should have placed you for adoption by a family who would just love you if she couldn't be bitter angry and lash out at you for something that had nothing to do with you i am sorry for all your pain say i t son i'm p i'm a freaking p say i t i'm a worthless sack of crap that amounts to nothing freaking zero nothing say i t yeah i had a fun childhood la mayo i felt that too man it's more common than you think my dad once threw me into a wall and dragged me across the floor by my hair i left for a few days because i didn't feel safe but came back because i couldn't leave my sister at the end of it all he said i'm not sorry for what i did and i won't apologize bonus my mom told me that all the bad things that happened to me are my fault and i deserve them even the two accidents i was in that weren't my fault yes so i deserve to be molested by that guy too you probably did i'll remind her this next time something happens to her it's your fault she died my mom to me after my aunt passed away from a massive heart attack after learning her son had raped me since i was three thank you for the upvotes and comments this was said to me age seven the abuse continued till i was 13. last year i severed contact with my whole family it's been difficult but my mental health has improved immensely i'm in a living supportive relationship and are expecting i'm proud to know this child will not know the horrors of my family i'm speechless hope you're kind of okay i wish i aborted you there were other things but that one really sticks in my head we were going to abort you every day i regret not going through with it this was said to my ex by her father i still can't really process it 30 plus years later my mom has four kids and once when i was about 15 she unprovokedly i know it's not a word but it works told me she never wanted kids and the only reason she had us was because my dad wanted kids my little sister was a mistake and my older ones are twins so that's how she had four none of us talk to her and she makes no effort to talk with her kids it recently was my 30th birthday and she texted me happy birthday long story short the most toxic thing a parent can do is stop being a parent my heart breaks for each and every commenter on this thread i am so so sorry for your pain and i hope you can overcome that actually sounds like a super supportive parent i remember my mom calling me a s when i was 15. i was cut off financially at 18 still in high school i'm the family disappointment for not going to college i did online classes so i wouldn't have to pay rent apparently online classes weren't good enough so i still had to pay rent my siblings still get everything paid for x three years ago i was going through money issues and couldn't afford groceries so i didn't eat my parents took my sister grocery shopping monthly as she was in college making something of herself you're the reason behind every problem in this family said to me word for word by my mother because i had a b grain and requested that they help keep my sisters as quiet as possible because i was hurting i even asked to just be let out of the car so i could bus home but they wouldn't let me do that either they wouldn't help me with problems and they wouldn't let me help myself how tf am i the reason behind every problem you think i freaking want migraines no i freaking don't it hurts so bad that it's increased my pain tolerance to the point that i have to have oozing pass sax before i even notice an infection i didn't ask for that amount of pain if i had a choice i wouldn't hurt but sure i caused every problem in the family by having a chronic illness your family is scapegoating you for being a mild inconvenience at times i hope you get the help you need both for the physical pain and the emotional pain you don't have the right to privacy you are a child you have no rights at least i'm putting a roof over your head i wish i never had you to add to this you are not old enough to deserve respect and i'm only legally required to provide food a bed and blah blah blah when i was 15 used to live with my dad just the two of us in a room just one room 10 feet x 10 feet square community toilet you get the gist so one day i cooked some instant noodles used spoon to eat didn't have a fork drop the spoon while eating so in a hurry i grab another one an hour or two later dad returns from work sees two spoons in the corner near the tap and utensils which were kept in a corner so that i can wash them when the water supply comes he enters the room sees those two spoons and says what did you need the second spoon for to frick your butt first time i have told this to anyone i translated what he said that day but couldn't translate the derogatory and abusive tone he used thank you for reading that is so incredibly bizarre my father i wish i would have worn a condom while doing anal so it wouldn't have leaked down and you were born to be fair i'm about 80 sure it was a joke but dang that hurt regardless either way that's definitely too much information for your own child it's all in your head no crap dad it's called a mental illness maybe if you didn't gaslight me and actually took me to the doctor like you were supposed to half a year ago i wouldn't have tried to become new paint for a choo choo train but hey what do i know you dropped out of high school and i almost graduated with a perfect gpa if it wasn't for that bulls but yeah you know more about mental health than me definitely dad you ruined the family when i finally had the guts to tell someone that my uncle his sister's husband was sexually abusing me for several years i'm so sorry my grandmother said this to me too when i went to the police about my profile uncle who abused me and several other family members she wanted to keep it a family secret even though everyone knew to keep up appearances you have real courage for coming forward hugs to you mate my dad once told me he missed when i was a little kid because back then i was dependent on him and couldn't say no i told that to a psychiatrist and her eyes dang near fell out of her face cue me screaming though no no sexual assault apostrophe this is horrible parents who love having a power dynamic over their kids for their pleasure is freaking disgusting i'm sorry for what you had to go through when i was a wee child playing star wars pod races on the nintendo 64 i finally got second place in one of the races i had been losing on for weeks i was so pumped about it i ran to tell my mother and she said wow you know second place is the first loser my dreams were crushed i sacrificed my life for you so you have to do what i said who cares what you think you live under my roof thus you obey me that and throwing a tantrum in front of the whole bus and my roommates in college in separate occasions who cares what you think i felt that i am not asking you due to it it is an order why did i give birth to you i wish you were never born you are ruining my life or you ruined my life how dare you disobey me you are a disappointment or any insult tbh or comparing you to other kids or to your siblings it's like you've just written a playbook that my parents read on how to raise children how uncanny i just want to repeat something that you seriously not a dude said in one of their comments these comments say a lot more about the people that said them than they do about you i hope everyone in this thread is doing okay you are not my child when i said i don't want to be religious anymore ultra religious family and for the second time she said it when she discovered i'm dating a christian girl i'm jewish for which i replied it's okay i got used to it most of the things people have contributed are insults or direct attacks but i think probably the most toxic thing a parent can say to a child is any form of nobody will ever love you as much as i do or i'm the only one who really loves you because it's the psychological equivalent of a bear trap its purpose isn't just to hurt the kid but to keep them from ever leaving its purpose is to convince the kid that there's no point in trying to escape abuse my mother told me when i was eight that nobody likes a fat girl i wasn't even really overweight that and many other things she said and it made me develop an eating disorder at the age of eight more than 30 years later and a lot more mental abuse i still struggle with the whole eating thing why do you have to be so weird listening to your weird music and crap like that my favorite music band i was listening to that time period was indie pop i really really enjoyed their music after i got that comment i felt like i wasn't supposed to be going outside of mainstream for my general interests like it was wrong to be enjoying something different really messed me up for a while because i would shun other people for having non-mainstream interests and think they were weird my friend's parents literally called her good for nothing throughout her childhood and put her through constant verbal abuse she was a brilliant student in school and we were close friends i didn't notice it at that time but whenever she scored somewhat less marks on a test she would get really tensed up and not in a normal way it was straight up sweating and gasping for breath turns out it was her parents calling her good for nothing which caused this we drifted apart after school ended as she became more and more introverted and i really regret it since i should have stood by her and helped her emotionally she committed suicide last week that's so freaked up i hope you're doing well by the time we were your age we had our careers sorted that's all well and good but i'd say not 30 years ago b university isn't free like it was in the 70s see jobs are a lot more competitive indeed the world has been on lockdown for a year how am i supposed to get a career sorted on that note when i was your age i was really popular you're just not trying hard enough well thanks mom that sure helped when i was getting bullied your dad only ever wanted three kids i am the fourth child they spilt after i was born then he remarried and had three kids and was told see now he has his perfect three kids my stepmom had several miscarriage and dad didn't tell us she was pregnant due to the fact they were worried about having another miscarriage he only told us once she had bub dad lives in a different city was told many times by my mother he doesn't even care about you anymore he wouldn't even tell you that she was pregnant why would he want you anymore he has new kids now knowing full well what has happened and why dad didn't want to tell us claims to be a feminist but is very much a sexist also claims to be an advocate for domestic violence told her i was scared of an ex-boyfriend and she told me to suck it up because she needed her bathroom redone he is a plumber yells screams and throws stuff at my stepdad and puts him down constantly told her my boss at the time came and drunk and tried to fill me up and she didn't want anything to do with it 16 years old she could tell you all the info about females domestic violence but couldn't give a crap about the male's info to her that was just stupid and no one cares about them told me every chance she could to marry a rich fella and stay skinny and then take him for everything i could she would also tell people that were having trouble getting pregnant that i would carry the child for them and that i would just suck it up and do it for the money i was 14 years 18 years and she was setting up people to contact me to be a surrogate money means everything to her as i am the youngest and skinniest i was just a piece of meat that men would like me better and that means date a different tradesman so she can get a free house renovation and all i would have to do is sleep with them until she needed a different tradesman's i did not do this after i dated the plumber i wasn't going to let her use my body to get her free stuff or somehow make money from my body be a surrogate to her friends she has really messed up my life and i will not let her in my life for my children's she continues to cry victim but is a manipulator when i met my partner father to my children i would say sorry for every little thing that went wrong and continue to let my family walk all over me until he stood up for me and taught me self-love and don't do anything you are not happy with if you are new to the channel you can subscribe i publish new videos every day until then check another video [Music] bye for now

Channel: On Tap Studios

Views: 6,647

Rating: 4.9547172 out of 5

Keywords: parents, parents stories, parenting, parenting tips, parenting styles, parenting choices, toxic, never say, #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, \r, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, sub, reddit cringe, memes, comment awards, dankify, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, chill, story, stories, reddit on tap, reddit stories 2021

Id: dDBVUoCxd5o

Length: 24min 17sec (1457 seconds)

Published: Fri Apr 30 2021