How To Mess Up With Rude Customers

what's the best way to pee off rude customers within company guidelines i used to bartend in austin on 6th street so i had to deal with a ton of entitled frat boys one guy ordered a beer chugged it in front of me and set it on my spill mat for the uninitiated this is the universal sign that someone has finished their beverage i pick up the bottle and it had less that an ounce of backwash left in it and throw it away the frat boy then gets angry saying he wasn't finished and demands another beer for free i told him i would be happy to replace his drink i open a new beer pour almost all of it down the sink leaving less than an ounce at the bottom hand him is new basically empty beer and smiled luckily my manager had dealt with similar situations for years and saw the whole interaction so he thought it was hilarious that's a good one lucky you never got in trouble for wasting beer though if it's an angry phone call just listening to them vent without any verbal acknowledgement is pretty powerful no yep no um no i see etc just silent listening after a bit of ranting they'll say are you even there or something like that to which you answer yes just listening i always merrily and obnoxiously tell them to have a nice day when they leave screaming it always makes them fume but what are they going to do complain to my boss that i told them to have a nice day i'm sure that will go over well i told this angry woman i was sorry for her inconvenience and she told me she didn't think i was to be fair it's hard to feel sorry for her when she was throwing a tantrum over one dollar worth of coupons my store always has a 10 off your 40 purchase coupon if you text a certain number if a customer is being rude and complains about our prices and then they ask me if we have any coupons i'll usually just tell them they have to have a rewards account to receive coupons on the other hand i'll notice when customers are polite and search through their rewards email for coupons but can't find any i'll tell them to text that number for the 10 off for me it was calling the manager over the walkie at the customer's insistence and saying something like i need a manager to lay away the customer wants xxx but i've already told her our policy is yay iii they want to jump on the manager when he walks up before you can speak so when you announce that you have already explained to them the policy usually it was their misunderstanding what no money down meant but the entire policy is both printed on the receipt they have to sign and on the wall behind you then the manager is usually going to have your back when they get there i can't tell you how many of those i'll get my way because i can yell louder than you customers went red in the face as they watched me talking into the walkie also it helps to know which manager to call one of them would cave every time but the main boss would always back me up because he knew i was polite and good at my job and working retail you're already bending over backwards to please the customers even when they're jerks so those occasions where it feels like justice is served are the best i've never said that stuff in front of the customer i pretend the manager isn't picking up his phone then go personally find him and tell him what's happening i learned i had to do that after the first time i called him to the front and he didn't back me the front end manager up god i miss our old manager i had a customer say to me you're a lousy worker piece of crap and i responded with i am sorry you feel that way if you'd like to fill out our survey and let us know how your experience went we are more than happy to hear your feedback she got pee and all i did was just knock that entire part of my speech out simply say i'm sorry mom we can't do anything without a receipt when that soccer mom starts building up just continue to smile stare into their eyes wait until they finish crying soak up the awkward silence and wait until they say well then you say i'm sorry mom we can't do anything without a receipt works every time i just come across as really vacant and out of it say stuff like mmhhmm write as a response to everything they say or ask me while nodding like an idiot the whole time it drives them crazy and they usually get frustrated and leave or if they're extra rude i just pretend to call security our security department is useless and has no power but the customers don't know that your employee humored my request i want him fired can't believe nobody has said this yet but constantly repeating i'm sorry i can't hear you what did you say works every time but like her our prices have never been lower like i said when they start melting down and repeating the same thing one lady nearly ran me over in her electric cart when i spat that one out at her when she kept insisting that i point her to a functioning wall-mounted scanner there were none i had one lady today that just started screaming there's three your website said you have three while waving around several pages with pictures and info for various items she was looking for like i said and similar phrases are actually forbidden in my workplace when i worked at panera they had these cookie coupons to get a free cookie now on the coupon it says it's for kids stores give them out for good grades i think but normally nobody cares and i'll give whoever a free cookie unless you're in but i'm so sorry those coupons are for kids in school i'm not allowed to accept that from you sorry store policy at the panera i used to work at i could have actually gotten in trouble for this the manager there always says to give customers what they want and or give them something free like a cookie if their order was messed up so that they'd leave happy he's a really generous guy i didn't end up dealing with many angry customers there worked in a copy print center your documents had to be ready to be copied the moment you walked in the door staples paper clips removed those sorts of things if you didn't have your crap print ready it was a one dollar and twenty cents per minute charge to get it ready we hardly ever charge anyone this fee unless they were rude or a problem customer if we did charge it we called it the butthole tax our shoal attacks i work retail a group of women were pee at me they were saying let's leave these items here slowly i will have to pick them up they sarcastically talk to themselves about putting items in their purses because they thought i was watching out for theft i went to a manager and explained what these upstanding citizens were doing my manager said he would talk to them i walked nearby during their conversation because i actually had to walk that way i knew exactly what they were talking about and i kept a huge smile on my face they were absolutely furious at my smile and kept saying that is so unprofessional that is so unprofessional yay ladies you clearly set an example of professionalism by making a mess in a retail store and talking about stealing items but i'm the unprofessional one for smiling i was recently called unprofessional because as a nurse i told the patient that i believed the report i got from night shift over what they were telling me i had noticed manipulative behavior on her part over the couple of days i had her as well as some flat out lies she told nothing makes a person angrier than being told that you believe someone over them my old boss used to give us permission to just smile at them and calmly say wow that was rude and then just continue with the transaction i worked at a private clubhouse for three years in a 55-plus community they loved having huge parties in the ballroom of the clubhouse i've evening there was a wine tasting event their contract for the event stated they were to be out of the room by 9 30 p.m giving the staff enough time to clean at 9 30 only one table of people were left mostly ho a board members drinking and taking the rest of the room had been cleaned and it was time for them to leave i started turning off the lights on them the started complaints about how they pay for the amenities and should stay along as they wish i replied back by saying event contract states end time is 9 30 pm nothing more and just started cleaning nothing gave me more satisfaction than 7p off old drunk people mad about a contact they couldn't fight you can take it up with the whole board if you want the contract changed lol x best buy employee i used to love it when they'd say oh i'll just take my business elsewhere i'd reply okay ma'am sir there's a target across the street don't react and just smile works 99 of the time and the customer will stop screaming and will be fuming inside unless they are drunk or on drugs i once told a dong of a customer i'm sorry i hurt your feelings and for some reason that pee her off even more don't give them the satisfaction of a reaction just stand there and stare at them while they scream in your face about what a waste of space you are it just absolutely pisses them off when a customer gets grumpy or rude with me i just say at a level high enough so people around us can hear sir i'm going to have to ask you to stop raising your voice at me usually gets people to take a quick look around to see if anyone's heard and they usually shut up and stop acting like on a chat like bonus points if they start being super dramatic i know it's a bit off topic but there's a regular where i work who everyone hates serving because she's a bit oblivious doesn't tip and can be quite rude sometimes but i was kind to her every time she ordered from me and i noticed over time she would be happier any time she saw me at work she gave me a 10 tip a couple months ago and last week she asked me what days i work and said she wanted to come in on those days but yeah with rude one-off customers i'm polite to them but then i burn their milk or i avoid the table there at because they obviously treat all hospital staff like trash i used to give them obnoxiously pestering helpful and persistent service need any help with that oh let me get that for you when they clearly could have managed it by themselves let me list off every single option for you have an absolutely splendiferous day what are they going to do call in and complain that they got the best freaking customer service they've ever had i channeled my best annoyingly happy ned flanders slow responses overly kind and understanding responses repeat and rephrase what they are saying to you complement their extensive profanity vocabulary you're legally allowed to turn down any alcohol sales that led to some great confrontations sure you piece of crap i'll come stop what i'm doing to tell you why the date on the box doesn't match the date on the bottle they probably don't make cardboard in the same place they make beer we have checkups twice a week the beer is fresh shut up or get out but i will definitely help you out all 15 minutes until you get to the counter and i can tell you so i can't sell that six-pack to you because i smell alcohol on your breath and i saw you stumble back there completely legal petty as heck and fun as heck and to be clear i realize discerning beer enthusiasts do want fresh craft beers not crap that's been sitting there for six months not who i'm talking about clear difference with the buttholes i sell health insurance in a call center one time a guy got super angry at my co-worker and told him he was gonna come to our city and fight him my co-worker simply responds okay if you want to go that route let me offer you some life insurance as well because you're gonna need it we will complete your task within the allowed time we always finish way early but if they just create a task and jump down my throat the second cut custard ticket they get the quotes on repeat the allowed time is anywhere from 2 15 days roulen are one stay super calm a guitared pia pla hate that also stays super polite high road city but most importantly know your crap know the policies and rules by heart so you are 100 confident and in the right when rude buttholes try to get you and if your manager is competent enough memorize what they say and do in those situations so when the customer demands to speak to the manager he will give them the exact same answer that you've already politely given them that should well pee them off working in the fast food industry i had a customer ball up there ten dollars bill and throw it at me to pay so i smiled put the cash in the tray and when i made the 1.98 of change i grabbed 98 pennies and i accidentally dropped all of this change on the floor while i smiled and said i'm terribly sorry sir as he picked up all of it he called my manager up and she looked at me and said all well then walked away call the manager he is six feet four inches and never smiles i call them because he is more qualified to help the problem but really he is more qualified in making them crap their pants oh man this is my bread and butter i've been at my job over five years and i have what i call jello peanut but his place of work justice comma customers said something on the far edge of the counter when ringing up so i have to heave over and grab it i do the same thing to them coma they make hot dogs or chili or something and create a huge mess doing so when they come to ring out i'll say hold on a second go clean it up so they have to wait comma give me crap about getting carded guess who's getting carded every day for the next month comma my personal favorite on the phone while ringing out i'm gonna ask you 5 000 questions of course i don't do any of this if there's a line and would inconvenience other people this stuff is all extremely petty but that's the point i'm still doing my job and arguably doing it slightly better but i'm making your day take a little longer when all you had to do what be considerate and polite to me also sorry for how the formatting of this comment might have turned out i'm on mobile i work at a deli this couple ordered a few pasta salads and on the first one i put in a little extra and they yelled at me no stop idiot that's too much we only want a pound then i heard them talking about how i'm moving in slow motion so on the next two i put a tiny scoop in at a time and asked is this enough after every single scoop i probably asked like 40 times and they were visibly pee off made my day is this enough more is this enough more is this enough more is this enough more is this enough more never ever stop smiling and make it as real as possible these people are mean because they like seeing that pseudo slaves uncomfortable and being completely unfaced throws them off their power trip after a while your smile will become robotic and yet genuine somehow no one knows how the frick to deal with it if they're trying to be mean they get psychopath vibes from you and if they're nice they just see a wonderful person i have a really great deadpan monotone voice i reserve strictly for those who start yelling at me it goes really great with the smile really creeps them out look them dead in the eyes while they go on their tirade when they are done respond at the end as genuinely as you can interesting and then proceed to do your job exactly as you would have anyway we have noticed that you have made several trips to our store today while we thank you for shopping with us i have be asked to assist you in finding everything you need so that you need not return to us once more today read we noticed you now have been here several times stealing stuff so i am going to follow you around to make sure you don't take anything and when you're done don't come back unfortunately there's nothing else i can do for that is there anything else i can help you with today comma same thing unfortunately because reason usually customers fault for one reason or another i can't do any more is there anything else i can help you with today on repeat bonus points on calls where the reason was the customer trying to get me to life for them on a recorded call about something they would definitely be caught on not customers percent but when telemarketers call my office i ask them to please hold and then i put the phone up to my pc speakers and play cotton eyed joe if someone is yelling at you wait until they are finished and ask them to repeat it again while apologizing profusely about being attention deficit keep saying so mom at the start and or end of every scent and smile and look them in the eye and don't break eye contact and be as uncomfortably attentive as possible add fake guidelines like no ice cream between 239 351 and cabbage can only be served to people who are 58 920 days old and three minutes passive aggressiveness i work at a rental car company that has a customer tier system which pre-assigns customers that provide us with their information beforehand and rent with the company on a regular basis this is a free service but these customers act like they sit at the right hand of god himself so if they can't immediately find what slot their car is in they'll come in angry with a phrase along the lines of i don't know why you guys can't seem to do your job but my car hasn't been pre-assigned yet so i need you to hurry up and fix that for me i'll pull up their rental agreement which almost always has been pre-assigned tell them their spot number and say it also sent you the email confirming your spot number and your spot number is on our electronic board if you have text notifications it also texted that to you as well have a nice day i get so much satisfaction by just making customers feel absolutely stupid when they act like buttholes if you turn to page 734654 and read clause and ninety 1345894 of the terms and conditions that you agreed to when making that transaction you will see that it clearly states oh you didn't read the terms and conditions but i can see that you ticked the box indicating that you had before you did this hate c's telling anyone who's up in a fuss to please calm down immediately boils their blood no matter what the context but it should only be used in scenarios that can be considered absurd bonus with absolutely no personal emotional investment montoni sir corporate policy at this point is to request that you calm down back when i worked in a call center i used to love it when people rang in kicking off about something bill would refuse couldn't to go through the security questions you can just note them even if they ask to speak to a manager strictly adhere to company policy no exceptions i'm a nurse and a pretty laid back one i don't usually bother people with dumb rules if it's not going to compromise your safety like if you're a smoker i usually won't say anything if you go out for a smoke even though we're a smoke-free campus no smoking allowed anywhere on company property you have to physically leave the campus to smoke but if you pee me off i will follow company policy to the letter including paging you overhead to return to your room and notifying security every time you leave the floor including having security confiscate your cigarettes and lighter continue to pee me off oh i'm very sorry company policy says you can't have narcotics and leave the medical floor so now you have to choose between your percocets or your cigarettes i'm happy to get you a nicotine patch though wait until they are done their rant and say i'm sorry some of the details of what you described escaped me could you start again at the beginning that was always good for a freak out or waiting until someone lost their crap and then confirming alrighty all done if no let them go off again if yes great i stopped paying attention and was no longer willing or obligated to do anything for you the moment you yelled screamed swore threat and smashed item on the counter threat and stuff get out now and i loved when they refused to leave stating bulls like this is a public place actually no it isn't this entire shopping complex is a private establishment for which a permanent non-binding invitation is invoked this invitation to this particular store into the entire premises can be revoked by any store like me right now with cause should i choose to do so which i am about to do holding phone would you prefer to leave or be barred from the mall and charge with criminal trespass your call you have 10 seconds starting now no one ever made it to 10 god i miss that part of the job i'm incredibly excessively polite and attentive i make them complicit in it and get them to agree verbally out loud in front of people how do you know some people behave like you have just done totally for effect and don't care if they get stuff into trouble wrongly how awful isn't it awful i mean you're totally genuine but some people are just garbage human beings and don't care just to make a fuss or get camped now i'm going to attend to you personally and you'll get exactly what you ordered and you're so lovely you're not one of those trashy people do i know you'll appreciate it if you are new to the channel you can subscribe i publish new videos every day until then check another video [Music] bye for now

Channel: On Tap Studios

Views: 51,912

Rating: 4.9594679 out of 5

Keywords: rude customers, rude customers get owned, rude customers caught on camera, karens, karen, karen meltdown, #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, \r, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, sub, reddit cringe, memes, comment awards, dankify, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, chill, story, stories, reddit on tap, reddit stories 2021

Id: k38oZw91Jb8

Length: 22min 32sec (1352 seconds)

Published: Thu Apr 01 2021