Dr. Matthew Stevenson | Rated R | Self Esteem

so an eight o'clock I do the brother-sister platonic stuff like that and in ten thirty I deal with the boo school we deal with those of you that are that are married that are engaged that are thinking about marriage and all of that there is a such thing as readiness and today we're going to talk about something a little different I'm going to set this up the right way okay let me set this up with this premise and I want you to receive this statement as a personal word from the Lord to you you ready for it there is a move of God coming to your self-esteem now in a couple of minutes that's gonna really hit you I'm starting with talking to you about your esteem because esteem is at the root of a lot of bad relationship choices sometimes people date for their esteem and then what you select is also a reflection of your esteem if you don't live think behave like you're a big deal then you're very indiscriminate about what and who you date people date bombs cuz they think that's what they deserve not just not just because they're trying to help that's the cover-up the real truth is you think this is all you can get oh it's come on it's we here we might catch her today you will date your definition of yourself I'm talking to you Apple here itself you will get the number of your definition of yourself all of those things are reflections of either what you do or don't see now here's a per-user here's the conflict you can be a strong person and still have insecurities you can be cute and still like confidence you can have a lot things going for you and yet have an unresolved the issue in the way you see yourself let me prophesy to you 2018 is going to be the year where God changes how you see you now I'm trying not to dance but I don't know about you there is something there is a degree of courage that I need I'm going to have to see what God sees in me come on and in order for me to succeed I would have to find out what he's so infatuated with that he won't let me die and have a nervous breakdown there is something about me that he thinks is worth dying for because he shed his blood and then he told me if I had to do it all again I do it just for you use a bad bat much come on look at some eyes are you a big deal you a big deal you a big deal tell him you a big deal I know what you did I know what happened to you I know who you were born to I know who your Manny was will you grab me one but you still a big deal buy your life set out for a run around here by and large by and large we as a people think that it's spiritually immature to teach esteem but when you've not been parented properly supported properly given the right opportunity how many of you know when your esteem is being built you even have a right to fail you have a right to be less than perfect those are part of the fundamental affirmative academic journeys that you need to see your potential you see if you always make it and always hit the mark then you don't really know the scope of your ability it is a part of God's plan that you make mistakes because then when you do win you've got a path to examine and you've got a grateful heart because I'm used to win it but I'm more grateful that when I lost come on it's not just the trophies I'm grateful that I know how to and then win again confidence esteem as a people you've been so talked out of loving yourself because you don't want to get the big head and you don't want to forget where you come from and you don't want to don't you leave those behind that we're with you you know but it's amazing that I never need to be reminded who was with me when I'm not where I'm going and everybody wants me to remember who was with me when I finally leave them to go somewhere and then they need a invitation into where I've gone for them let me get into my message but let me just give you some release real quick sometimes that all the times it's one of the greatest things you can do for yourself it's forget where you came from particularly when where you came from justifies that you should not have to have when people come up see like I remember who you was thank you and that's why you are not in my life anymore cuz I no longer want people around me whose reminding me of where I come out of I need a squad around me that's pointing to the future Oh bless His name God's trying to do something in your steam he's trying to do something in what you really believe about yourself because that determines your tolerances now here's a rebuke most of you don't take yourself seriously enough that's why your timing is off that's why you're that flirtatious you don't have a type something's wrong with you but actually what you want in a spouse what you want a wife what you want a man I'm open now what you're saying is I don't know who I am Richard they now go say man I like them young Oh rich black white 31 flavors player from the Himalaya bro you are without an identity so what's happening is you love this relationship traffic because each one of them speak to a fraction of yourself you show me somebody's had 72 sexual partners and I'll show you somebody who has no clue who they are your value system is so low that any attention is better than good attention come on but you are a big deal put your hand on your chair I know you scared but put your hand on your chin for me Sam a big deer I'm a big deal come on I'm a big deal come on I'm a big deal I'm a big deal no I don't know how to be a good husband but he does know how to but I don't know because when I [Music] [Music] [Music] I'm trying to get to my text but I'm trying to preach you out of studying what's wrong with you I'm trying to emancipate you from looking at the likelihoods of your failure and your deceit how do you know Jesus Christ did not just shed his blood because something was wrong with you he shed his blood because he saw beyond the wrong to the potential of the right and thought he would invest the blood so that you can get the right from under the wrong and then become like here Jesus died because something was right with you when you get a glimpse of that right you start to make deliberate relationship choices I can't it's so hard anybody that mentors coaches whatever it's so hard to heal people's esteem especially when you go ages 2 to 12 having parts have you taken groomed and rejection family members that don't want to own their fathers that look over you and you ain't my mama's that make you do whatever you do you are groomed in training to reject yourself all of that decreases self celebration and some celebration is not self worship it is resolved so you'll know when you free area because you not you not just everybody boasts about their strengths I'm good at this but when you get free you also boast and you're weak Paul said I boast in my weakness now in the last time you shouted about a weakness I'm talking better than what you everybody testifies over what they do well I'm looking for people that I said I'd do this real wrong I do this real bad no why's that something be prouder because I've got to cross and because everything I do wrong he's got the power to do right boast in my infirmities because I can't find a church nowhere in here where I'm weak I can't find nobody with the whole ego where I'm weak he is always talk it's me accident in me I think so what's wrong with me now when you rob sit down will you rob when you rob the devil of the weapon of your personal weakness when you bankrupt that Negro and tell him you gotta use a brand new weapon because I am aware of my weakness bro I've accepted it I've given it to the Lord I'm reminded of what's wrong with me every day then he has nothing to torment you with yes nothing to terrorize you with and that's a dangerous place because with your weaknesses I've been given to God all of a sudden here comes the fountain of grace the grace of God starts working in you and here's my text I won't let me get to her but Paul said I am what I am lord have mercy by degrees not by my reputation not by my resume I am what I am back Oh grace huh so if you mad at my confidence take it up with the spirit of grace I'm trying to take it up with grace if you don't hang out when I was a chosen generation grace did Satan Satan is afraid save it Satan is afraid of you loving yourself whoa because when you love yourself then you can love your neighbor because the Bible said you're supposed to love your neighbor as yourself and the real problem that you got with me it's the unresolved issue you got with you you can't love me if you're loved here because of loving me scares you embracing me you afraid but my Bible said where there is fear there is not love but there is torment but you fooling around and get perfect love and it's going I want you to practice loving you practice dating you practice learning you because it's teaching you what you need in a relationship so you'll recognize a good husband when you see yourself as a whole woman I'm talking about you'll recognize a good wife when you resolve your imperfection yeah this is me and this is what I am as a man so stop letting the devil bully you about the stuff that's wrong with you this this late news you've been studying that stuff all your life so much so that you are now afraid to examine about to go now I can't get no help what is the future but it takes the Holy Ghost to see that God is already for you act like it live like it love like it proper of 7 I'm almost done go there proverbs 7 I am what I am about the grace of God and I'm no longer distracted by what I'm not to because he's going to fix that in me I'm cooperating with him so he's gonna make me a better everything I am and when that is your premise you have different lenses on relationships you know you don't tolerate abuse you you don't you don't give a man an ultimatum he even told you you wanna fall he trying to find his way you said it like well you gonna rot or one day you're dumb and and your mama and your father ought to grab a belt together whip yo insert me until you decide to love yourself you don't ever let a man make you an option if Jesus Christ is faithful to you why you want to be somebody's number two come on up out of there in the name of become all that low self-esteem abuse abandonment rejection coming let the daughters go let the doughnuts go let the daughters rather put a proverb seven sons nephews can you pay my bills can you pay my telephone bill can you pay my own bills then and maybe we can chew I don't think you do so you and me Keppler let me tell you what you need you need to welfare line I'm not Prince Charming I'm not just sugar daddy I'm looking for a woman with a business mind and the very facts that you need my money proves you too broke to get you off so I'm not about to put my success in your misery and be owing you for the rest of your life the devil is a liar I want my money make a woman can't come there it is so take the super human cape off you are not a messiah you should not be riding in on somebody's wants to pull them about their misery why they're proving at the beginning I got nothing to give you can you pay them bills how many tables go happen come on see you need a woman that's gonna love you when you broke my won't they say name glory to God because when you make money you could look like Google it my burglar you're gonna get women from everywhere come on some of the Uglies brothers in the world got some bad girls cuz they make money you let them same jokers be broke ain't nobody tryin to holla deal but that reveals an identity issue in man who think that they are what they do well so I like taking care of you cuz it makes me feel better but you don't love people to feel better about yourself you don't marry people to feel better about yourself if I'm entrusting you with my esteem I'm making you I just love the way you need counseling lady you should have felt like a natural woman when you had your period I should not walk in your bathroom to make you a natural woman if you want no woman when I mentioned I won't learn to do it you check the plumbing the plumbing is the prophecy I'm not here to make you a woman I'm here to make you alive hallelujah honey mothers proverbs seven and I'm doing [Applause] barbar seven if he wasn't feeling like a woman for you met me then what was you feeling like proverbs 7 verse 1 we're done sit down y'all y'all y'all hear these demons I'm listen to me darkness it's all in the music get it pull over you come out you don't want to feel your legs what kind of love you want to paralyze you what is wrong with you I don't wanna feel my do I in a serious identity crisis you mean you'll want to feel your legs listen proverb seven and one my son keep my words and lay up my commandments with you this is this is showing you really quickly that one of the first things you need to do is you start dating is you have to find somebody to listen to not everybody but you need wisdom access points whenever you have a relationship that alienates you from wisdom is going to default I'm gonna tell you how people do it y'all start dating and talking y'all like all nations talk too much I saw some of you lying in the church last week sitting downtown I don't want everybody in my business you ain't I'm trying to help you but when relationships start in secrecy city y'all dis a new school if we got to hide I don't want to be in it Amen if we got to keep it away from the light what is you happy everybody ain't got to know my son keep my words lay up my commandments with you let's read this this is very important keep my Commandments and live you have to when you start dating you need at least one or two wisdom sources live and make my law I am them on your fingers write them on the table of your heart say to wisdom you are my sister call understanding your key your kinswoman that they may keep me from the strange woman from the stranger with flattered at her with words look at me when you have low self-esteem you are easily snared by flattery because you're not used to people praising you or saying that something is right with you so somebody say oh I never get first time somebody caught me cute my whole attitude I mean I was done and you know what funny it actually happened you refreshment your high school I was an orientation to myself look at you at my walk me oh that now I was a church boy 1 through 8 this ninth grade every Stephenson demon I had was activated by that one prophetic decree I'm sure anybody remember the first time somebody says something that affected you and it will change you for real somebody call you baby mama some might think the point stop playing everything and you start turning like Oh Lord Jesus flattery works for people who don't love they sell so you ain't got to tell me I'm smart I'm aware you ain't gonna tell me I'm going somewhere I've been there before that's why I'm goin see when when when a flirtatious remark is your first affirmation you bite that bait and you end up in a snare so the devil knows let me sin a good word to somebody who don't believe in themselves and make them think that this is a connection so they'll start to feed your esteem I see the best in you you got so much in you I'm here for your money for your daddy it's me and you against the world look at verse six this is wisdom this is a father talking to his sons at the window of my house I looked through the encasement cuz you know anybody old enough to remember two to seven y'all name is pearl that nosey thing will walk everybody got an unhappy or miss pearl a nosy neighbor and they always got that we call police that neighborhood watch he say he said I looked out my house and I saw a few things verse seven I saw simple ones so this means that when you are immature or is going to show up in what you want in them and a spouse in a man or a woman I saw simple and there is something that the Bible calls youthful lust that that's the lust of immaturity when you have just not developed in your mental psychological emotional self there are certain things that become more important you he said I saw simple was and I discerned among the youth a young man with no sense which means that when you dating you start looking for a mate you have to use good sense common sense this makes sense passing through the street near her corner now he's saying that the strange woman or man cuz these are interchangeable as a corner a place where they go a place where they collide which means this if you're not in a season you're like you're working through your own soul stuff or you have a certain caliber of spouse you want don't get them where trash is Oh Lord you're not gonna find a good husband at the strip club stay away from that corner there is an it is so there is an area very all for me now listen this may make y'all mad go home post tweet what you want my Sydenham if you got to go where people go to celebrate their addiction ie drunkenness at clubs ie kickbacks were you eating weed brownies and all that stuff and you go into a situation looking for a serious relationship with people who are telling you I'm controlled by substances I'm looking for faithfulness to somebody who has no self-control you see how this makes sense he's stumbling drunk and you think it's cute you're not gonna be able listen you cannot renovate men stop trying to fix these boys tell my son that's daddy no that's your son woman of God you provided for him you watched him you change his life around put his car in your name from a desert II know it son Oh bless is her name she had a corner this literally means you're dating relationships it does matter where y'all meet because people go places that represent was active in them this makes sense stay away from her look at verse nine in the Twilight in the evening in the black and in the dark night and behold there met him a woman with the attire of a harlot and of sucked o heart she is loud she is stubborn her feet abide not at her house my grandmother would call her a woman of the night some of y'all too young for that a streetwalker what that mean is when the lights get low mother changed her apparel and she go on the streets you understand she pull attempt at lettuce boy now look at this I love this look at verse 13 this is so powerful this is so powerful so she caught him do you see that language she didn't meet him she just get his number she now what do you catch fish you catch stuff you trying to trap some of you think you boot up but you've been I know they sitting next to you but get free yo ain't talking you been she called him in about she an and to make sure he didn't feel caught she kissed him she prematurely gave him affection we don't see where they said hello how you doing where you been who's your mama what sign is you do you got diabetes what blood type she called him one mr. waadt let me leave you man I'm gonna put it on you boy let me can we just be real real you know sometimes their dad give it to you real good have you trapped and messed up in your mind so that you don't know that you in a real snap they start programming your body grabbing on your ears and you know that stuff affects us man grabbing if it you okay my love now you can't think right they start touching on certain places she caught him she kissed him which is premature affection and there is such a thing y'all know each other to three days why is you making out with this man I said that I know you think it's religious but there is a such thing as protective boundaries lie to yourself if you want to you only gonna be able to see tongue so long before there is a new level of neck and I'm talking to your watermelon head cell we can kiss like mature adults I'll tell you what have a stressful moment have a bill collector call you see you gotta be honest with yourself Oh y'all is mad and this is this Anglican churches ticked off today understand you but listen after he'd start rising after a while that hand start right here it start moving on back and you'll start talking it don't know you look at enslaving and all that you may well going all the way you got to repent now you nobody introduced yourself to us how you gonna go to help a half said you hit him lick it and dip it them up but we didn't go all the way what did you talk about the name in the Bible Jesus said if a man look at Oh Lord so before you let it you looked at no help over here and you gonna help look at that look at you may as well stop [Music] verse 14 look at what she said look look at what she said something y'all so convicted as crazy you like dying this is real messed up verse 14 look at what she said after they introduced premature affection now listen listen here's what I'm saying to you psychologically once you've been physical to a person you have now ruined objectivity you're more merciful to lies you're more merciful you overlook stuff that you wouldn't normally overlook because now chemically y'all are binding the name of the chemical is oxytocin I got receipts it'll start messing with you it's a bonding agent a binding chemical so that's why you can't get him out of your head then cuz it was that good you started blending she told him verse fourteen Kenny I have peace offerings with me when you are living a life in disturbance there's going to be a lot of relationship that show up like it's your answer to peace you have one Prince of Peace come on even if the person has good intent I'm coming for you it's dangerous to pull your peace from a person because people come and people go you're signing up your life and your peace to have an on and off switch if my peace is in your control then when you leave me then I don't have peace and because I want peace and I miss peace I don't start doing stupid stuff to get you back because my peace was tied to you when my Bible say he will keep me in perfect who's my I can't give you leadership over my peace she said I have peace with me and I have paid my therefore I came to meet you they say stuff like this I've been looking for you all your life you type of dude I've been looking for you know somebody I can get on the same vibe with come on you know it's real she's I came forth to meet you you line hers it you and even though I was on my way to meet you came but you have been looking for me they'll do they'll make it seem like I've been on a journey I've been looking for somebody like you mean they'll do the same thing they just change it up and look I've been needing somebody like you be on my team in my squad they'll make you feel like you have a place the first thing they did was control your piece now they're trying to act like you got a place but how many of you know people cannot give you a place people cannot give you a place that comes from the lord help me Holy Ghost verse 16 I decked my bed I mean this lady is aggressive she caught me kiss me I've been looking for you all my life this conversation or party ten minutes long and I she like I get my bed with coverings of tapestry with firing linen from each if you know their mug them high count things you find in the mall boy you got the most silk sheets glory to God see y'all I've been saved y'all remember the water bears there was some about them water bears used to get to me look if I ever had a water bed you jump on and just demons jumping you by you waddling on that thing a perfume my bed with mere and aloes and cinnamon look at 18 come let us take our field of love until the morning and let us solace ourself with love now here is that eros this is an eros this erotic love it's not a copy love it's morning every slept the night away we both belong we forgot about the price we had to pay [Music] we should have counted up the calls oh yeah put it in the moment now you could tell she's backslidden cuz that hold the segment's all I see is somebody I owe her so good lady what you single I don't add them of adultery what you mean his wife should've walked in there and pull your head out like Nigerian bridge you should have grabbed the whole side of your head and beat your face in as you lay curvature god I'm just beer out of not you clean out as you and him laid fivefold ministry found bit to the face why am i hitting this look at verse 19 the good man is not at home as she tell you now she told you she was coming looking for you now she like the good man is not at home if you why are you looking for me when you were him hello if you are in something you don't rule for another something she said a good man is not at home he's gone on a long journey look at me I can tell you where your esteem is by what you're willing to do if you knew you would never get caught what would you do if there was no way it would ever get out how long would you go if you didn't believe in screenshots or selfies or if you knew what no cameras what would you be doing that scares a lot of you don't cuz you like man I've had a few of sleepless nights but what is she working on what is she working on his esteem the good man has been home we will not get caught look at verse 20 he took a bag of money with him and he's gonna come home at the day appointed she said I got you I'm married to a wealthy thing I can provide for you so first because of his esteem please here she started messing with his peace been his place now she's terrorizing him with prosperity I'm connected to something wealthy in that powerful look at verse 21 and with her much fair speech she calls him to what yield with the flattering of her lips look at this word she forced him this is why if you know this is not going nowhere cut it off a conversation to look somebody I'm talking to you we're trying to see what this gonna be boo is Mach 10 it's my pen cut it off why after this much flattery your willpower is affected and now there is an opportunity but this thing to exert force over you verse 22 he goeth after her straightway yo dumb sell he goes after her put yourself last what is this is really a proverb about the role of personal esteem in seduction see the weak are seduced are you listening to me she goes after him how verse 22 as a axe goes to the slaughter as a fool to the correction of stalks this is some scary stuff till a dart strike through his liver what kind of a crazy woman madness till a dart and a bird hasten it to a snare and he does not know that this is after his life harken now unto me o you children and attend to the words of my mouth let not your heart decline to her ways and don't go astray in her paths for she this spirit man and woman has cast down many wounded she has gotten many this thing has ended many like you and many strong men have been slain by her this is my favorite verse her house is the way to hell I can preach a whole the house of hell her house is the way to hell now I may be able chopped out some of these kickbacks and some of these red cups please friends day meetings there is a house that leads to hell you cannot be trying to get delivered going to every house party I know it is so y'all don't like it I know don't cry because I'm a go no it's you you cannot be chillin with a personal madam a man especially after two or three drinks y'all looking at me like there y'all know your language starts slurring eyes gonna look listening folk that was ugly not starting to look the devil that made them lose weight in your in your face about to come on anybody ever had a little while y'all liar anybody had liquor start doing alterations to folk you like wait a minute that ain't that bad you get up go for the cake and belly walk to the bedroom to hear come girls there is a house that leads to hell and it can be summed up with nice people but if you're trying to get out the grips of hell you got to stay out of certain folks houses her house is the way to hell going down to the chambers of death so here's a problem there is a healthy and and unhealthy loyalty healthy loyalty bears fruit in your life unhealthy loyalty bears disaster and curses in your life some of you are so committed to keeping your word that you're killing yourself this is America the Constitution gives you the right to release yourself some of you need to go home and just text oops and so whatever emoji you want to own the end of I lied I'm sorry I told you I was gonna be there and we were gonna make it work I'd change my mind look at somebody with an applehead as I've changed my mind come on you need a change of my come on just tell them oops you all in bondage I could do an altar call right there bondage Stan cuz you feel guilty cause somebody had a bad life you ain't Jesus it's not your job to heal people but how is he gonna make it past the city emails me get the dumbest stuff we need a national butt whuppin conference that's what we need I just wish it was a conference like a pull-up belt and just whip everybody and then invite your mama so I can get her butt showing you how to do this foolishness you got mr. George on the corn ain't never asked him why he always over come on touch so this stuff we inherited this crap this stuff ain't new I'm singing these songs to teach you I jacked up we are Oh baby you you can't burn on me paper you saved you see lord have mercy Jesus y'all know the craziest love song our Kelly got a lot of that stuff one of the craziest love songs in the world to me now y'all any are old enough to remember them blue lights my mama as a woman of God she evangelist she saved tongue talkin she cast the devil out Amen hallelujah now listen but when I was little we had a blue light gonna get them blue black why's he got to incense y'all remember them that's how I knew I know it might be a house party you like them incense one of the craziest love songs in the world and this really affects women cuz y'all sing this stuff you know what I'm not trying to be funny I knew something was gonna be something was gonna happen to fill his hand and when I first heard her voice I was like now you're not gonna be around here long lady because the way she's saying you could hear that depression you could hear that stuff even Sade's turn it off I'm looking at multicolored dream could get up out of here she used to depress me oh happy dance um I want a hug I will slap the home first of all you're not gonna tell me who I'm going to love look at how this culture has said there's a new ism Oh Lord some Negroes face this spirit to rich I command a demon come on up come on up out of there now hit the roof [Music] because I might say you deserve more ah listen listen don't ever again in your life fight with somebody to love you don't ever again in your life did pate with somebody about being loyal to you don't ever again in your life try to grab somebody who wants to go by if they can leave you let them you have a interventions in it's time that we have a heart-to-heart no look at what that says about what you think about you baby won't you just stay we need to clean this atmosphere out and say I could tell y'all there boy y'all oh that's a we be dealing with on his altar we be casting out Saturday night out of most of you my god but the root of this is esteem now here's how you know if you're not ready if you know you don't feel all the way good about yourself I don't care you're gonna tell me don't tell them but if you know like yo I really I'm not all the way secure myself though the most irresponsible thing to do is allow somebody in your life and put that pressure on them cuz then they're going to be God God has been saying this stuff to you your whole life I love you I want you I've got a purpose for you and you won't hear it from him some man or some women show up like you are champion and and that voice and that voice starts meaning more to you than what heaven has been saying to you the whole time you need to hear it from heaven before you can hear it from somebody else come on say something you need to hear it from the heaven he's my healer he's my forgiver he's my provider he's my way maker and what you're doing is complementing what he's already done that's how you know is healthy now it is integral to just admit you're not ready and and you're human and you have eyes amen so you can say man she she bad and not enter into temptation you can look at him and say my god boy every now and then that's good to make sure your senses are still alive I like when they Young me and say oh - look at her my year son all right praise the Lord I just want to know it's still alive in there any man but admit when you're not ready and you can watch something and not be ready for it now if you're in here I've gotten so many emails this week about breakups that it is blessed to be so bad it has because I know the distracting power of wrong relationships but I also know the focusing power right once you don't need to give your time away to anybody else Amen alright y'all okay everybody we good we still love each other all right

Channel: All Nations Chicago

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Id: 9BTeWPmFSnA

Length: 48min 57sec (2937 seconds)

Published: Thu Feb 15 2018