Doctors, What's Your "I Can't Believe I Need To Tell An Adult This" Moment?

dr. Zull read it what is your most surprising I can't believe I need to have this conversation with an adult story while on dermatological rotation a Middle Eastern patient saw me with one she described a symphony itching growth in her butt crack some quick investigation revealed it to be a severe case of genital warts I explained the diagnosis and that it was an STD until she shockingly assured that she was still a virgin now virginity is a big issue for young Muslim women or perhaps their families even more but apparently that doesn't cover writing backdoors and therefore no birth control in the form of say condoms was needed I thought I share another story but this time with a colleague being the one acting stupidly this was when I finally made it to neuroradiology and in comes this mother who's maybe three four months old suddenly would scan today because he had epileptic seizures after his birth apparently the pediatricians didn't tell her about the fits nor the severe neurological birth defects they knew about for weeks so I had to explain her that her child had mental disabilities that was probably the first time I flipped out on a colleague I didn't even know over the telephone and in the heat of the moment wanted to find this idiot and spit in his face he was totally oblivious of how he freaked up saying there was a language barrier while this hospital employs a whole Department of translators just for such cases EMT here I had a grown adult try to explain to me that someone else crapped his pants it got toned out for finger paint a homeless shelter at zero two zero zero we get we're on the guy jumps in the truck with very mild swelling to the tip of his right index finger here's how the conversation went me so what happened patient I smoked some em and then I fell asleep in my bunk and I woke up next to my bunk and my finger hurt and there was poked me there was poop did you fall in poop patient no no like in my pants me so you pooped your pants patient no it wasn't me me so let me get us straight you smoked em took a nap rolled out of bed in your sleep hurt your finger and someone else came along and crap in your pants you owe gark patient yet it wasn't me oh my god somebody put crap in my pants my brother is a general practitioner in rural Tennessee enough said right he says most of his patient visits go about like this MD well person you're pre-diabetic have high blood pressure and are complaining about joint pain have you been exercising and cutting out sugar and Cubs personally I have duck but it doesn't seem to help do you have any better meds you could prescribe MD well let's talk about your diet how much water do you drink a day person I don't like water so I get extra ice in my sweet tea every day to make sure I get enough water MD explains how that's not enough water by a long shot how much sweet tea are you drinking every day those can have a lot of sugar in them person while I get a large one from Hardee's McDonald's wherever on my way to work with my breakfast and another one on my way home for dinner then I have a glass or two when I get home MD well that's a lot of sugar and a lot of fast food if you are eating it twice a day what do you eat at home person I don't like to cook so I usually don't eat anything but Little Debbie snack cakes at home MD those have a lot of sugar to person I thought that all I had to do was cut out Mountain Dew now you're saying I can't eat my food or my snacks what are you suggesting I do eat salads for every meal why can't you just have my Ahmed's I'm not a doctor but my mom doesn't have a good grasp on the reproductive system so I had to be the one to explain that one getting my tubes removed did not remove my ability to get a period to that we women have urethra a glory hole and in crapshoot babies do not come from the urethra this one was strange because she had me and my sister so three that when he the neuter a dog you just removed the balls not the red rocket to China Taiwan's physical ed was severely lacking sir my mom until she was in her twenties believed that if you sat on a seat still warm on the bus that a guy sat in before you you can get if you kissed a guy you could get pregnant I'm still finding out there's later misconceptions that my poor mother has about reproduction and explaining things to her had to explain to an adult you have to brush all the sides of the teeth like no just the side that shows when you smile is not enough and yes flossing is not just a thing for rich people had a patient in our high priority area for DKA sugar was in the 800s stomach pain nausea vomiting in the such cold Burger King and gummy worms out of his backpack and proceeded to eat them like bro do you even know what diabetes is non-compliance and lack of medical knowledge is a big thing in Detroit patient comes in at 2:00 a.m. for insomnia clearly tweaking her brains out heart rate 200 but can't sit still bouncing off the walls I suggest maybe easing up on the see but doctor I love CK I imagine her pulling out a crapload of C at the spot and just ramming it to her nose I was working in GP and had a patient scheduled for an appointment looked through his notes to gain an idea of why he may be seeing me and so he'd been seen a few times with knee pains shoulder pains and the like the guy is in his 70s so probably just arthritis I'm thinking I'll do an examination on his sore joints and ask a few questions prescribe some painkillers and it'll be a quick one call him in and he walks and sits down and his cheery as anything what seems to be the problem then sir I notice you've had some issues recently with sore joints I asked he then proceeds to tell me about this sore knee so I check his knee and take a history and it all seems fine ask anything else and he's like oh actually my neck is sore too so I check his neck and nothing untoward to be found there either at this point he's like okay well thanks doc I'll be off n I say to him oh good glad we could help and you have no other pains at all before you go he then sits back down and tells me he's been having central crushing chest pain radiating down his left arm and into his jaw since last night and has been feeling breathless and when it happened he had an impending sense of doom I know a lot of you won't be doctors here but I'm sure you all recognize signs of an MI there he had all the classic textbook symptoms called an ambulance and he was rushed to hospital for PCI percutaneous coronary intervention thread a catheter up the arteries into the coronary artery to find and then treat the blockage sorry for the medical leckrone inhaler TL DR man came in complaining of arthritis and when he was about to leave decided to tell me he'd had a heart attack the night before and thought nothing of it my dad told me about an extremely religious male patient who was concerned about his nocturnal emissions he saw it as offense to God and wanted to know what he could do to stop it my dad's response well it's gotta go somewhere guy better out than in I always say nurse here retired after 27 years on the job the number of American 20-somethings that don't know if they're circumcised or not is surprisingly high when one with urinary tract infection symptoms needs to give a specimen for testing I asked are you circumcised if not I have to tell them to pull back the foreskin before peeing in the cup the number of guys who have asked what's that is way too many for the record I can count the number who were uncircumcised on two hands I knew a guy who I'm 99% sure was circumcised who thought that he was not because circumcision is when you cut off the head of the dog yeah no I don't know how much of this is true it was my cousin who is a doctor who told me he was in his first year in a clinic and people went there to have an appointment because he was good-looking elder ladies loved him particularly but this is totally unrelated and the worst case was when this elder lady comes in with her granddaughter around 80 oh she had a severely infected wound in her head upon close inspection he saw the wound crawling with small maggots and the smell was terrible he was pee of course and asked why didn't she washed the wound and brought her earlier she said she thought it would heal with time and was afraid to wash it lest water enters her brain and kills her there was also this woman that took her six-year daughter there to check why she still didn't have pew bees my mom lost her crap when she found out my grandma didn't change her needle between blood sugar tests my mom lectured her I lectured her and she still won't change it it's like two years old grandma's gonna die of an infection one day but that's her problem also she had a friend who didn't know how to use the needle right so instead of poking herself with it she'd scratch her skin till she bled I cringe when I heard that when I first got diagnosed they sent me home with lancets and test strips but no Lancet gun I seriously thought I had to manually stab myself with the Lancet went out two days later and bought a Lancet gun I changed lancets for every single test most diabetics apparently think this is hilarious I'm not a doctor but I suppose this is related my mother before she had kids grew up not even knowing that you could breastfeed a baby she was never told anything about what breasts were for fricking and even about orientations her parents never talked about any topic that was considered taboo my mother learnt about that once she had her first baby subsequently at 16 that is so sad lady had a broken jaw she comes in after two weeks with an open mandible fracture referred her to the hospital for immediate surgery she never went BC it doesn't bother her and she'll see if it gets better I once had to explain to a friend of mine that frickin doesn't give women curves referring to breasts but and the curve of their sides he literally thought that was the only way this was after he called this little ten-year-old girl s because she was already starting to develop so not a doctor but I work at a hospital we had someone come into A&E because they needed their nails redoing they genuinely thought it was a good idea to go to accident and emergency to have their fake nails taken off and redone because they had gotten too long and become uncomfortable talk about being high maintenance not a doctor but I have two of these stories first I had to explain to my 70 year old grandmother that woman's belly buttons have nothing to do with conception she thought if you didn't have a better button you couldn't have a baby second when I was in my 20s a co-worker about the same age came into the office looking distraught I asked if she was okay she told me that she thought she might need to see a doctor after a few more questions she tells me that she and her boyfriend were messing around he was fingering her when suddenly she couldn't breathe lost control over her muscles her heart was pounding so fast etc and when it was over she was kind of weak and flushed she thought it might have been a seizure I got to inform her that she had an orgasm not a doctor but when I was in Afghanistan a local man came up to us on patrol with his hand wrapped in a sheet he was invisible pain and was asking for a doctor so we got the medic to go see him and I helped unwrap his hand and it was just freaking huge he'd cut his hand very badly and for whatever reason kept it submerged in diesel for three days before seeking help his hand appeared to have soaked up a crapload of diesel or it was just infected to frick that it resembled a water balloon and lightly touching it caused it to pee liquid it was nasty there was a nursing student I had once who laughed loudly and exclaimed how can you possibly get an STD in your mouth are the innocence of youth wait till she has a patient who has an STD in their stoma I'm a paramedic I delivered a baby in the back of the ambulance and placed it on the mother's chest I asked her what it's name was can't remember if there was a boy or girl and she looked at me and said I thought you named it I really should have ran with it but I was too surprised that she actually thought that I saw her patient for a follow-up after three visits in his many days for asthma he was from another country so this was the first time I ever met him his lungs sound absolutely terrible but he swears he is taking the inhaler every two four hours with no relief this raises suspicion to me as the same meds are working in the air I asked him to show me how he is using it he holds it about a foot away from his mouth and does two puffs like vinegar and swallows I felt really bad he had never received any education about his illness or medications my great grandmother used to do she was stubborn and wouldn't take any advice so instead my family asked me to use mine when I was with her so she could see the proper way I don't remember if she ever caught on working in a rural ob-gyn clinic I told a PT to try vitamin b6 to help with her nausea and morning sickness she called back a few weeks later and told me that Walmart did not have vitamin b6 so she bought b12 and has just been cutting them in half well I could maybe understand thinking the number is a dosage if you're unfamiliar at least she can do basic arithmetic based on the other stories in this thread that's a solid milestone that coming to the áfourá pregnancy test is a very very expensive way to do it apparently she didn't know you could buy one at the Rite Aid down the block seriously don't come to the ax for a pregnancy test cause the test for results won't be the only surprise you'll be getting also if you have diabetes that you need to take your medication no getting fatter isn't the worst that can happen the worst that can happen is that you'll die that's why you're in the ER with diabetic ketoacidosis and suffering organ damage it's why you're gonna lose your toes take your goddamn meds that taking that weird plant they bought from a pharmacy online isn't fourteen point three to four times better than chemo and doesn't only attack cancer cells because it likes the acid environment in it I was living in China and taught English on the side to a student whose mother was a physician this was in 2012 just prior to the London Olympics the mother wanted to send her daughter to London with a school group to watch the Olympics but has reservations about it I asked why she said she was worried that her daughter would catch aids from using the public toilets yes a doctor HIV education and awareness in China is severely lacking even for educated doctors source was Chinese Chinese as in nationality not ethnicity I was that patient once in my late twenties I was fortunate enough to have never had a boil nor did I know anyone who had ever had one so when I got one under my arm I just assumed it was some sort of saw that would go away when it grew to the size of a Weeping golf ball and became super painful I figured out it was a boil and knew that you fix boils by lancing them tried to stab it with my rusty pen life but chickened out and went to the doctor instead I took my soggy tissue away from the mess in my armpit in the doctor literally jumped back in horror I now know that boils do not fix themselves and should be immediately treated with antibiotics I married a pharmacy assistant just to be on the safe side I'm GP in small-town British Medical Center older lady came into one of the day clinics with a large shopping bag omitting a foul smell so much so we gave her the special treat reserved for smelly patients of waiting in the doctors corridor instead of the waiting room having received complaints from other patients but said older lady comes into my office for her appointment and sits down asks me how big the largest poo I've ever seen as a doctor was i de mer and explained I don't actually see as much poo as one might imagine and she proceeds to tell me an epic tale for the week before her appointment she'd had the worst case of constipation she'd ever had she tried and tried but could not go to the toilet no matter how much olive oil or licorice she consumed then the day before the clinic she felt the urge and found herself doing the longest poo I've ever seen it just kept coming and coming and coming so fascinated was she by her enormous pool that she couldn't bring herself to flush it we'd picked it out of the toilet put it in a waterproof shopping bag and showed her friends who she says tailed her she must show it to a medical professional because we just be fascinated to see such a large unusual stool and then she opened the bag and showed me her poo which filled it it filled the entire bag TL DR full-grown adult woman brought in a big bag of her poo because she thought I would find it interesting well I guess she was right oMFG finally something I can comment on well here in Mexico we have something called social service our college education is free in some institutions so we have to pay for it with one year of free work in a rural area so the first month a woman in her 30s came to consult because she was feeling weird in the mornings since forever I asked what her symptoms were and she told me that every day she wakes up feeling her mouth dry and that feeling disappears in about one or two hours well lady how many water do you drink harm one or maybe two glasses one at breakfast and one middle day do you know what this is yeah when you drink water so you can pee so I had a conversation that took 1 hour long about what thirst is and how it feels also I had to told her that she needed to drink more water I don't now what blows my mind more the idea that someone can't determine that they're thirsty or that someone can make it through a day on only 2 glasses of water my sister who is a new redditor and hope sees this is a doctor and 25 years ago when she had her very very first patient out of residency in this patient refused to allow her to see her breasts which was sore and needed a mammogram to check out her lung so sister asks why in this girl who is about 30 and single said matter-of-factly oh that's lesbian we can't do that it's against the Lord's wishes she loves telling this story at the dinner table and family gatherings especially to our religious side I'm a paramedic and recently transported an idiot who self presented to the local hospital who found he was having a heart attack steamy and needed him sent to a bigger hospital for treatment during my assessment I asked him how long he'd been having chest pain on and off for 12 months he tells me any family history one of the biggest indicators oh yes dad died off a heart attack brother died off a heart attack both of them first presentation stone dead on the spot no freaking about so you have a 12-month history of intermittent chest pain and a family history of your closest male relative spontaneously chucking heart is buying and you've never got it investigated but furthermore the only reason you came to the hospital tonight is because your family badgered you into it I told him he needed a solid kick in the ass to his credit he agreed loads of people are like this though as they tell themselves it's nothing and get on with their lives in the hope it goes away instead of hypochondria you get hyper chand react so despite evidence to the contrary think they're healthy not a doctor but I agreed to pick up my good friends wife from her pregnancy sonogram driving home the wife tells me she's surprised it's a girl because the last kid was a girl and it's supposed to go boy girl boy girl right statistically that is more likely than many other patterns such as say boy girl squid rock as a paramedic had a patient barricade his elderly mother and grandmother in the house threatening to kill himself in them eventually he let them out but still threatened to kill himself we are all waiting outside we actually have to park the ambulance a few blocks away until police declared the seam safe PD calls us on the radio and tells us that they have the patient and we need to take him to the hospital we drive up and hip out and here's this 40 year old man in a bathrobe with what looks like a paper cut one the inside of one forearm while calling the hospital to tell them we're on our way I say patient has a very superficial cut on his left forearm the patient has me and goes what do you mean superficial so I explained that it was a very shallow cut on his arm and that he'll be just fine he says I'll be just fine I tried to kill myself I cut my arm and then stopped when it started hurting that's how I figured I did some damage I was honestly dumbfounded so I'm only an EMT but I want to weigh in here to this conversation I had to tell a patient with severe pneumonia and the patient's family that you don't get sick that's his catch a cold by leaving your skin exposed the family was vehemently debating me on the fact claiming that I had no idea what I was talking about because I'm not a doctor attempting to explain to them the necessity for a foreign body to enter your system was the most preposterous thing to them I just want to say to everyone who flooded my inbox with wonderful sentiments regarding the work of EMTs and paramedics that appreciation makes dealing with the seemingly inexorably chorus of professionals telling us me otherwise much easier my parents always told me that the reason I got sick was because I wore t-shirts to bed Yes Mother I got the flu because I exposed my forearms and hands as I slept not because half the kids at my school were probably off dying from it I'm a dental hygienist and once was telling a patient after a cleaning that she had gingivitis she replies with I must have caught it from my boyfriend had to explain to her that it's because she doesn't brush floss enough she was 36 I had a patient drive himself to the neurology clinic who ended up being completely deaf cortically blind in half his visual field and demented to the point where he didn't know what decade it was that's honestly impressive from when I was a resident working in the living heck that is the jinnee are at a major florida hospital woman comes in complaining of missed periods hasn't had one in two months me do you think there is any chance you may be pregnant patient no that's impossible me are you active in your physical relation seeps patient yes of course me do you use protection patient number me do you think you might be pregnant repeat for 15 minutes I swear we could have reduced the number of visits to that' by stapling a bag of pregnancy tests to the door with a sign saying think you're pregnant take one and tacking Atty ultrasound probe to the door with a sign saying want a picture of the baby we use this to take the ultrasound I think you're forgetting how ignorant the patients that you just described are if you stapled a bag of pregnancy tests to the door your patients would take the tests but inevitably try to use them by spitting into the tests or shoving the tests into the rectum patient made an appointment and brought in his crap in a box he was concerned about the size of his turret and of its normal all he got from the visit was normal turd yes it's pretty wide turd box was set out with biohazard waste waste guy thought it was a misplaced package and put it on the front desk secretary got quite the surprise that day not a doctor but a co-worker asked about a surgery we had just finished at the Animal Hospital I work at the dog had a pyometra pass filed uterus we removed when I told her this she looked at me in horror and asked how the dog was going to be able to pee without a uterus she's 25 if you are new to the channel you can subscribe I publish new videos every day until then check another video [Music] bye for now

Channel: Updoot

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Keywords: doctors, doctor, doctor stories, hospital, patients, worst patient ever, worst patients, emergency room, medical stories, #updootst, updoot, updoot reddit, updoot everything, reddit on tap, toadfilms, pewdiepie, reddit, askreddit, funny reddit, reddit stories, top posts, reddit top posts, reddit cringe, comedy, reddit compilation, r/, r/askreddit, top posts of r/, askreddit reading, best reddit posts, top posts of all time, people of reddit, askreddit question, ask reddit, subreddit, sub

Id: d5uvoBjqxXo

Length: 25min 32sec (1532 seconds)

Published: Mon Jul 13 2020