Depressed People, What Do You Wish Your Friends/Family Understood? - (r/AskReddit)

like and subscribe right now or else this will be in your bed tonight our /oscar edit by planet reddit serious people who are going through depression what do you wish your friends and family understand about you I wish I could tell them without them changing how they treat me yeah when I eventually told my dad that I had thinking about killing myself and I was scared I was actually going to do it for once he changed into a completely different person he has always been a traditional Eastern man of the house father figure but after I told him suddenly he acted like he cared for once I'm sure he always did but he never used to show it but now he's always checking on me and seeing how I'm getting on with my medication which I should be starting next week hey man that's good to hear I hope it all works out I saw this on the internet forever ago and it's always stuck with me one awesome thing about eio as friends is that even though we all seems to be clinically depressed he still gets invited to participate in adventures and shenanigans with all of his friends and they never expect him to pretend to feel happy they just love him anyway and they never leave him behind or ask him to change I'm about to cry thank you for sharing this quote the aisle is my favorite this gave me a lot of affirmation thank you that I don't feel the way I do due to a poor sleep schedule I have a poor sleep schedule because of how I feel you know when you're almost asleep but you just need to let go control of your brain for a few seconds to actually fall asleep those few seconds are so ducking terrifying I would rather stay awake for days that's why I have a poor sleep schedule anyway holy [ __ ] that's scary in your perspective though to me I find it relaxing your mind is almost like a portal to a place you can do whatever and be free then you let go almost like pulling the cork in a bathtub draining your thoughts so new ones can enter and you can be at ease because although the waters gone the bathtub will remain a simple hey are you okay goes a very long way with me hello you do not know me but I am here to ask you one thing hey are you okay I know how it feels because it has happened to me today a girl in my school just saw me sitting alone and asked if I was okay and if I needed help just to talk to her honestly though the feeling is indescribable and I truly hope you feel better about yourself and really hope you are mentally and physically better than now in the future personally this is the worst thing for me to hear I don't want to feel like a victim or a patient I respond a lot better to just being included and thought of things like a friend messaging me about a new song or TV show that there and to remind me that people are thinking about me and care about my opinions thoughts that my depression is much worse than they probably realize you don't recognize unless you've been there is it worse than they realize or worse than you let on I hope you have a good friend both actually if they ever realized how bad it really is and if I ever let them find out it would be an immediate do not pass go do not collect $200 trips straight to an inpatient facility that is the last thing I need right now sometimes my mood just changes one day I'll seem like I'm okay in a good mood but the next I may be unmotivated mentally exhausted when this happens please don't say but you were just fine yesterday why so you keep changing your mood I don't know hugs mood swings are exhausting wait what do normal people not just wake up in some random state of frustration or happiness or have their day determined by a random inconvenience in the morning like actually asking this here I'm not lazy I am literally unable to motivate myself to do anything I have no goal or purpose but it's not that I'm not working towards one I wish more than anything I could have won this is one of the biggest ones for me it's trying to explain the physical feeling of trying to do something that you feel so deeply is utterly pointless which usually is everything it's like something has been plugged into your chest and physically sucks all your energy out the mental signal to get up and move just has nothing to work with I can try and force it but any motivational thoughts usually just bring about a backlash where that feeling of being drained gets even deeper along with a wave of guilt self-loathing and suicidal ideation and no pushing through it and feeling some kind of sense of achievement doesn't work there's no satisfaction afterwards just actual tiredness to go along with the emptiness this doesn't apply when I do something I genuinely care about but I really don't care about much and I just can't fake it I can't start caring about something I just don't care about I explain recovering from depression as learning to walk again your motivation and satisfaction muscles have atrophied they can't carry you much of anywhere you can push yourself for a bit trying to seem normal but eventually you'll collapse you're going to be hurting and even more tired just like with a muscle the way to help it recover is to slowly and gradually exercise your brain more each day can you normally not get out of bed but you can manage to get into the shower today congratulations that's progress and that's enough you don't even need perfectly upward progress either people hit plateaus or backslide or just plain need rest sometimes as long as you can do one small thing to exercise your mental health more than you could before it's a step towards getting better and it's wonderful you just can't cure depression all at once your brain kind of has to relearn how to access the healthier thoughts feelings and behaviors gradually with practice you may know how you should be but that doesn't mean your brain is ready to do all of that at once the hardest thing to communicate is how you feel to someone else I consider myself pretty decent with words but no matter how many times I try and describe how I feel to someone there is always a disconnect my parents don't have the empathy burn for mental health problems and my friends have their own issues that I don't wanna piled on sucks feeling so alone when you technically got people around you Mac Miller said it's so simple in his latest song just so tired of being tired my friends and I have an unspoken agreement we all have different mental diseases we always invite each other to places or text just to check on each other we never get upset when with each other when we need to just stay in and hide I'm not okay do you have the mental capacity to handle that right now let me know if you ever need someone to chat with I can listen the feeling of loneliness is probably the hardest thing for me never getting invited out or feeling like I'm not wanted is the biggest burden to me I was never part of a clique or group really and even though I have friends I still don't feel like I'm always welcome it sucks because being an over-thinker I feel like there's something wrong with me why don't I get cool to have drinks or go to shows or whatever am i that awful of a person I wish they could understand that I don't know why I'm depressed there's no one thing I just am how would you like someone to talk or help or is the mere presence of them sitting with you sufficient it really depends sometimes what helps is when someone really listens to all the things I have in my head and sometimes I really just need someone to be there so I know I'm not alone that depression is seriously misunderstood because of its name when people hear the word depression they think of it as being depressed and remember when they were sad they then think they can make you not sad by saying the [ __ ] that normally works when someone is sad their heart is in the right place but this isn't the same thing others accuse people with depression of being draw my horses and needing to get over it since it's so easy to stop feeling sad fueling the misunderstanding nature of it all depression isn't being sad it's a thinking illness your thoughts themselves are all when you think this filter for the good comes up and only the bad remains recovering from depression is a hard walk between learning how to lower the filter and how to ignore the negative how do you think of ways to get better when the thoughts themselves are the ones that are the problem by learning through practice that you can think of thought or feel of feeling and acknowledge that it's happening and then look at it objectively and truly understand that it's not based in reality you can't control intrusive thoughts or feelings but you can through lots of time and practice learn to control your reactions to them at least that's what my therapist tells me it helps when anxiety hits and I swirl in my own head and down the rabbit hole of negative thoughts time now sometimes able to talk myself out of it I think of it like a prosecutor and a defense lawyer the prosecutor is trying to convince me of all these things that are awful but I have practiced when I'm in a decent mental place whole lists of examples and reasons that these things are not true like literally written lists and sometimes I can remind myself these negative anxiety driven thoughts are unhealthy and not based in reality and then mentally force myself to start thinking through the lists that I made when I wasn't in the rabbit hole sorry if that seemed rambling it's a stream of consciousness many Dave's still suck and I self-medicate too often but I'm trying thank you that is a good thought process and practice to take up I really appreciate you and everyone who has shared so far the anger that goes with it sometimes I cannot explain why I am as angry as I am I cannot explain why sometimes I get so angry I scream and yell over small things when really it's much deeper than that most of the time I am just angry at myself right I've had serious bouts throughout my life but this one right now I'm just ducking pissed like all the time it's starting to scare me a little it is scary I wish I could tell you it gets better but sometimes it just doesn't I've sought out help from mental health professionals changed my lifestyle eliminated alcohol wasn't a huge drinker but still focused on self-care and setting boundaries sometimes it helps sometimes it doesn't I think I am just one of those types of people that is wound tight I am always tense and ready to react I got a believe it translates into anger at some point understand my point of view instead of looking at others understand why I'm always quiet and angry and irritable I wish they knew I was feeling sad my heart hurts oh my god the anger I'm always so angry and I can't even tell why or at what so I just end up internalizing it all do you ever just snap at people for no particular reason I hide from people a lot because it's either that or let them realize what a piece of crap I am I have that same problem you're feeling stress you may not realize it but you are I feel so shitty and other people around me will believe I am because of the way I'm acting I'm don't even apologize when I should I'm just scared too it's not about pride or anything it's just I feel like it's too late but sometimes it's never late to do so I don't believe you are a piece of crap it's just what your stress is making you do because you don't know how to contain it or get rid of it right now I'm taking a Mental Health Week I'm doing the things I like focusing on liking myself and what aspects I like about myself drawing is one of my aspects it looks like I traced artworks but I promise you it's drawn by my estimations I'd like to call myself the kakashi of drawing painting I'm sure there are things you like as well that will relieve you of stress my family used to always make fun of me for not showering and wearing loose clothes I just wish they'd understand how difficult the smallest tasks were to me how hurtful some of the things they said were not because what they said was brutal but because of how fragile I was at the time also that I don't like talking about it because it makes me uncomfortable and I'd rather not explain why I feel like this because most times when I asked myself that question it makes me even sadder I think people who've never dealt with serious depression anxiety made side-effects etc have a hard time recognizing that the amount of effort you need to put into something can change so much based on your state of mind also it sucks because yes I know it only usually takes five minutes to shower or change clothes it expends a minimal amount of calories but right now I have so little energy for the whole day that would consume a lot of it so then you feel bad for not accomplishing something so simple I try to make myself focus on the small victories but it's gotta be using my ruler not somebody else's somedays that's like I needed a spoon so I washed one and even washed a second one that I can't just snap out of it trust me I would if I could I've always hated that it's the same as when someone is having a panic attack and your response is on par with ODOT be anxious or oh well just calm down then like Beach if it was that easy don't you think I would have ducking thought of that by now my mother has told me on multiple occasions to just choose to be happy if I could does she really think that I wouldn't don't give up on me that there are times where I just can't there are times where I want to be alone but at the same time I hate being alone so I need you I love you guys but as much as I love you sometimes I can't deal with any of it I know I push you away but please be there for me I love you guys so much I know I'm a mess and I'm sorry how was your day today in all honesty just tell me about it maybe it will make you feel a little better well I've been sick the last few days which has made me skip a few college classes over yesterday and today overall though it's been okay it's only really bad when I first wake up and since it's hard to breathe I wake up really early after I take medicine for it it's mainly just fatigue and weakness stop telling me what I should do based on your own experience see isn't making it about you and maybe try to listen and understand what I'm telling you I think part of what makes it so hard is that it's a completely lonely experience it feels like we'll never be able to snap out of it even advice from people who have been there and eventually get out of it sounds very insincere and to me listening doesn't really do anything sympathizing with me compounds it it is such a shitty loop OMG so much this all I want is to be believed not condescended to not told to try harder not judged just listen don't interrupt don't contradict me just ducking listen and at least try to understand and if they can't understand at least accept that this is the reality I live every goddamn day I was suicidally depressed fears and my family never noticed I literally had a janky thrown together probably wouldn't work suicide kit in my room I think what sucked the most for me especially as a team was that no one noticed the signs of me sleeping all the time not eating trying to find ways to self punish myself I wish someone saw it and said that I needed help and took me to get it maybe things could have turned out differently have you found the help you need now if I may ask what help should they have taken you to well I don't have the insurance really to dive into psychiatric help so I just roll with the punches now which kind of make the past feel even more like a wasted opportunity I would have liked a professional evaluation for one I have trouble focusing lots of anxiety around people and in-and-out encounters with depressive States I think it self diagnosis and I know that's not reliable but that's part of why I wish I talked to a professional they didn't bring me to a psychologist once after I came out when I was 13 but either he wasn't the right fit for me or more likely I was seeing him for the wrong thing he mostly focused on trying to reassure me that it's okay to be gay which I was pretty comfortable with personally speaking I just want them to know that it's okay not to know how to help me exactly oftentimes someone simply wanting to help his help enough obviously I can only speak for myself but when my depression hits it hits hard and often makes me feel completely alone despite being in a very loving marriage I feel like no one actually cares I mentally imagine that if I died none of my co-workers would notice none of my friends or family would care etc when I'm feeling like that just knowing someone legitimately wants to help does wonders that I'm full of love and constantly inspired but I'm also constantly dealing with this internal seemingly debilitating in a conflict with my depressed self that traps and limits my ability to express joy it kills me to know the potential I can bring to the world to my job my passions outside of work my relationships yet feeling that I'm trapped by my depression and cannot unveil my true self the depression almost always wins and I wish I was better at overcoming it but I'm not there yet am I'll keep pushing you away and I have completely shut down emotionally because it's the only way I know how to deal with all of this please keep coming back to me I know I am hard to deal with I'm sorry you going to have make some sort of effort to reach out as well I know it ain't easy but people will be hurt when you push them away think that's why it's the answer to what we wish people understood can't 100% relate I become extremely withdrawn at times I can't even reach out to my own wife most of the time because of the mental blockage I experience when I get into a depressive episode I find literally nothing enjoyable I find the act of communicate with others tedious and borderline torturous I feel alone I feel unlovable I feel like no one would understand or even care et Cie yeah we should make an effort to reach out but to say I know it ain't easy as less than helpful I'm 100% sure you were and are trying to be supportive just saying that mentality of yeah but you need to reach out to is often more destructive than constructive it's not that I don't care about my friends it's that I feel so awful about myself that I can't imagine subjecting other people to my presence I honestly can't think why anyone would want to be around me or would miss my presence I mean socially not presence on the earth I'm not suicidal depression isn't sadness it's more like nothingness it's not a mood where I'm feeling depressed it's a period of time where the peaks of happiness are lower and more fleeting and so they do less to counterbalance the shitty moments so that means that the shitty moments wear me down more it also means that I'm less likely to care about seeking out good moments because they don't seem worth the effort I need help I've been trying to manage this [ __ ] on my own for years but I'm not doing a very good job of it I've tried talking to friends and family about it but nobody seems willing or interested in helping my health insurance sucks so the only psychiatrist covered by it can't see me as much as I need I'm broke my company is failing I'm behind on bills and have frequent panic attacks I know what I should do but between juggling all the stuff you're expected to as an adult and managing the depression I don't have the energy or motivation to do it that it's not as easy as to just think positive meditate will completely divert my entire thinking process into something else it takes a lot of time to even consider that your mental illness has been cured and sometimes it just never goes away they need to understand that while I might be a funny person or enjoy having fun I can't always be people's entertainment it's super draining to be expected to be in a good mood when I am NOT damn this one hit hard I've always been told that I'm like the jokester of my friends but it kills me when I'm really not feeling it I've never been diagnosed with depression though I have with anxiety but I've definitely been in funks where it kills me but all they want is the funny me and I just can't so they all seem worse off because of it I'd love to share some happiness there just isn't any in the tank right now just relax life is good just be happy all not helpful at all thanks for watching subscribe for three videos a day [Music]

Channel: Ask Planet

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Keywords: ask reddit, reddit top posts, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit cringe, reddit, updoot reddit, best reddit posts, funny reddit, reddit story, askreddit funny, reddit funny, askreddit, reddit and chill, tz reddit, reddit watchers, r/askreddit, reddit best, reddit compilation, askreddit top posts, askreddit stories, funny reddit stories, askreddit reading, askreddit scary, funny askreddit, askreddit stupid, askreddit question, reddit on tap

Id: GEygByCjf_g

Length: 22min 26sec (1346 seconds)

Published: Wed Mar 04 2020