Channel Surfing

now what you need to do is stir that until it's about the consistency of a cloud I'm pleased to announce NASA's new space program which will send a family of rats yes Veronica it's true your ex-husband is still alive and living in Cairo slide two three four and reach two three Oh fin slide two three four now take a whisk and really beat your arthritic grandmother that's rich especially coming from the man who was raised by feral monkeys which contracted Hepatitis they of course had to be put down and now we're using the rats one NASA Authority said sometimes I cry in the shower ha you're not fooling anyone all you've ever cared about is your glutes you feeling a good burn in there now we're gonna start working your thighs and rub them down with some olive oil that's nice now we're ready to put this into the oven along with taxpayers dollars the president wanted it to be absolutely clear that he has no body hair some say yes some say no but don't be afraid let it envelop you in its aroma now this recipe is simple it calls for flour eggs and your immortal soul and we never heard from you you never called you never wrote you never even learned how to use a special rat toilet they can navigate complex mazes and most surprisingly they're gluten free and if you don't have an electric mixer you can just use flaming passion have you no shame it absolutely sickens me to think that this is 20 pounds of human fat in a jar and if you think that you don't have the willpower to do it don't despair because very few have died in the process the details of the program are vital to national security so naturally the White House will slap that smug look off your face that seems love you ever since I heard you sing your voice was like isn't that soothing it makes me want to question my will to live all you can do with keep your spandex little snap pretty soon you're gonna have a body as solid as this nation's economy in conclusion we'd like to thank you all for coming to this press conference and we hope that you plan for your sins don't you see all I ever wanted was the flexibility of a Russian gymnast just remember there's nothing more attractive to the ladies than a chocolate sculpture of Winston Churchill covered in dirty money but it's over now I'm never coming back you can forward my mail to the cold heart of space thank you and see you in skinny town population you [Music]

Channel: Studio C

Views: 7,288,018

Rating: 4.963006 out of 5

Keywords: BYUtv, Studio C, TV, Channel Surfing, DC, Divine Comedy, College Humor, Humor, Funny, Fun, Mallory Everton, Jason Gray, Matt Meese, Whitney Call

Id: Vg0s8Ard2oM

Length: 3min 8sec (188 seconds)

Published: Mon Nov 12 2012