Catwoman (2004) Pitch Meeting

so you have a Catwoman script for me yes sir I do amazing I can't wait to see what kind of crazy adventures Selina Kyle gets into who the hell is Selina Kyle she's you know Catwoman from from the comics and everything oh I thought this was like a thing we were making up no it's like an extremely popular DC comics thing well I thought this was the thing we were making up so her name's gonna be patience Phillips Oh that's significantly less cool sounding than Selina Kyle and patience is a graphic designer who's quiet and not good at standing up for herself okay okay and tell me something is she hot but doesn't know it she's hot but doesn't know it's antastic character description yeah when hot girls don't know they're hot that means we have a chance with them you clearly understand women just as well as I do my man do you think we should get an actual woman to write this thing I mean I looked around there are just no female screenwriters in Hollywood really none I looked how hard did you look I mean I asked around the men's washroom under my breath it sounds like you tried I did well that's all that matters besides I think we have this female character thing down pat I think so so anyway patience has this friend Sally and all she talks about his boys that sounds about right and Catwoman's gonna have to go up against the evil cosmetics company she works for cuz they're making an evil face cream that sounds like an appropriate antagonist for her agreed so how does she become Catwoman oh well like I said she works as a graphic designer right right and her boss gets mad at her because she made a red thing but he wanted a darker red oh that should take a couple of seconds right you'd think so but it's gonna take her two days and it's gonna be so last-minute she's gonna have to rush to deliver it herself a very slow worker yeah so as she's delivering the thing she stumbles upon one of the heads of the company Laurel revealing a dark secret what's the secret that if you stop using this new cream be lean your face disintegrates oh that's not good nope so anyway patience gets chased by some guards and ends up drowning oh that's an interesting way to end the movie so we don't get to see her become Catwoman we'll actually plot twist the movies not done oh my god you got me yeah see a magical Egyptian cat burps in her mouth and that turns her into Catwoman Oh cat burps are tight yeah so she starts taking on the traits of cats you know she loves tuna she hisses at dogs that she goes crazy for catnip wait what yes she's Catwoman so she's gonna act like a cat that all sounds kind of silly to be honest no it's like in spider-man you know he gets bit by a spider he takes on the traits of a spider yeah I mean he shoots web but he doesn't start eating flies and laying eggs he probably did those things off screen the filmmakers just weren't brave enough to show it so it's not because it's ridiculous it's cuz the filmmakers were cowards exactly well good to know anyway so patience also has this romantic thing going on with the detective Tom lone and what's his deal he has a romantic thing going on with patience oh that's it pretty much okay yeah and since he's a detective he shows up at every single crime scene like seconds after the crime has taken place no matter where it takes place in the city yeah because there's only like one detective per city if I understand correctly you don't oh well he's just gonna be around anyway and so he's gonna figure out that the woman he's dating is Catwoman yeah he is but it's gonna take him you know the entire movie because she hit it so well no because he's kind of an idiot oh he is yeah I mean patients leave some writing samples as herself and as Catwoman of the same word and they were just obviously written by the same human oh yeah that's a big hint she also makes a bunch of cat puns as patients and just acts like a cat in general when she's around 10 this guy's a terrible detective yeah and anyway they're also gonna have this super romantic scene where they play one-on-one basketball how is that romantic because they completely disregard the rules of the game and just kind of grind up on each other as children cheer them on I guess that's romantic yeah and then she's gonna show that she's really good at basketball because of her powers like a cat like a cat that's right also I figured we can make the whole scene more exciting by cutting it together really fast consider it done we'll make over 150 cuts in under two minutes okay maybe not that much no no no I think this is a good move in fact let's edit the whole movie like that that sounds like it's gonna be exhausting to watch oh it will be and that's a good thing maybe I do not know what I'm doing here anyway so eventually Catwoman's horny friend Sally is gonna get sick because she's been using this cream so much oh yeah Catwoman's gonna figure out that the cream is making her sick and tell her to stop isn't that gonna make her face disintegrate it'll have no consequences oh and then Catwoman's gonna break into laurels place to confront her okay and she's gonna be like my husband is behind this you better go take care of him didn't Catwoman overhear Laurel herself talking about the face disintegration thing yeah I guess she forgot about that Oh a very forgetful cat and eventually Laurel is gonna frame Catwoman for killing her husband if only there was a way she could have known that world was evil yeah that would've helped a lot it's too bad she forgot so Catwoman gets arrested she does and she was literally caught holding the murder weapon so you know it's not good man it's gonna be hard for her to save the day after being arrested actually it's gonna be super easy barely an inconvenience oh really yeah cuz she's gonna realize that one of her powers is that she can fit through tight spaces like a cat Oh tight spaces are tight yeah no you're not wrong and also she can teleport oh she can teleport yeah we're just gonna have a scene where she casually teleports and then never does it again well I have heard the cats can do that that they can teleport once yeah I think I saw that on Animal Planet Nature is special so anyway then cat woman's gonna have a big final fight with Laurel how's that gonna go well Laurel reveals that she's been using the cream so much that her skin is like marble now doesn't marble break pretty easily I don't know we didn't look it up no this is fiction you don't do research when you write fiction anyway then Laurel falls from a window and dies well good yeah and so that's about it well well it sounds like a lot of fun you think so yeah I mean I think we nailed it I think we really have a winner hey guys it's Ryan here hope you like that pitch meeting there are over a hundred pitched meetings on the channel so check some of those outs you'd also let me know in the comments section what other movies you'd like to see pitch meetings for don't forget to Like and subscribe 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Channel: Screen Rant

Views: 2,382,896

Keywords: Catwoman, Catwoman 2004, halle berry, patience, basketball scene, laurel, face cream, editing, comic book movie, worst movies, razzie awards, superhero, dc, selina kyle, Pitch meeting, plot holes, how it all started, honest, everything wrong, Funny, super easy barely an inconvenience, ryan george, screen rant, screenrant

Id: gZJStOjhMfk

Length: 5min 50sec (350 seconds)

Published: Sat Jun 15 2019