Catching Flights AND Feelings

if you're here for the cheese may and the tea you're in the right spot topped off the plane at lax i go to baggage claim there is this baddie and she's there just on her phone don't let the lights and the cameras fool you i'm a nerd and nerds when we see pretty girls often times we don't have the courage to always just hey baby blah blah blah and spit game we don't always have that okay this girl's right next to my baggage claim so i'm building up the courage get the baggage claim my bag's not there as i turn to head back to this girl i see another baddie just as bad this voice in my head is like do it i'm trying to decide and i go with baddie number two baddie number two is also sitting there on her phone i begin my approach and then i think i'm just gonna plug my phone in and then as i'm charging my phone i'll strike up convo boom i get about five feet away from her and then she looks up at me and she says something first i hope you're not coming over here to charge your phone i'm using the top outlet and the bottom outlet's broken and then i say well that's exactly what i was coming over here for duh so she says okay i'll let you have it if you have less battery than me i'm on eight percent what are you on i'm on like 98.9 and then i just organically ease into conversation from there so i get our instagram hop in the uber and bounce nerds are taking over for the next few weeks we start talking so then i'm like you talking to anybody right now and she's like well i was talking to this dude but then he ghosted me for somebody that you follow this girl is going through my follows hmm okay alright so who are you talking about i need to see who this dude ghosted you for this london girl and you follow her i don't know her she takes really good pictures she seems cool but she's like no i'm single not talking to anybody so this girl lives in vegas and she was just visiting l.a so we're talking for another week and then i'm just like okay let's skip any of the boring stuff how about i fly you to la and you come chill with me for the weekend she said okay cool so she flies to la i picked this girl up and this girl her freaking fashion is amazing a girl that can dress takes the attraction to the next level for me each day that she's with me she's like walking pinterest so i cook for her and at night we'll just lay on my patio and just look up at the stars and the conversation's freaking amazing also takes the attraction up to another level i'm sitting here trying to find things wrong with this girl and i can't we talked for a few more weeks and i'm just like i need to fly you back so i do i couldn't get a read on this girl you know and typically when you can't get a read on somebody they are not feeling you like that she goes back to vegas then she hits me with i think i'm going to move to l.a yes i swag when i serve i got mommy exotic she moves to la i meet her two best friends and then shortly after that i notice these two best friends unfollow her it's not of my business nor my concern one day she texts me i haven't seen you since i moved let's kick it i'm like alright cool when she says tomorrow okay cool tomorrow comes ghost protocol i don't hear nothing from this girl another day or two goes by she texts me again hey am i gonna see you are we kicking it what's up okay let's maybe get a little bit more specific give me a time give me a place she said okay tomorrow this time the next day comes ghost protocol this girl's been in l.a for a week and it's already starting to act l.a city of flakes if you live in l.a you know exactly what i'm talking about she hits me up again are we gonna hang oh my god i miss you and i'm like what's going on any of you who've ever been a server you guys know what it's like to have people thinking that they're better than you when you don't value my time to me that's you thinking that your time is more valuable than my time rude so then i text back listen if we don't kick it tomorrow it's gonna be a while before i see you because i got stuff to do tomorrow comes she texts me like an hour before supposed to hang out like hey i'm at the post office it's kind of crazy here so let's just push for you know maybe five or six o'clock five o'clock comes around hey so i gotta take my dad to the airport i'll hit you up after i get back there's this new app uber lyft you know what it's cool i'm not gonna see your crusty butt for a hot minute i don't hear from this girl from that point on i really really was dealing this girl let's fast forward a month my friends nas and yaz stopped by and nas looks at me and she goes weren't you talking to that one lax baggage claim girl it's whatever's you know and she's like you know she's dating let's just call him a-list celebrity you know she's dating a list celebrity now right and my freaking heart sank into my booty hole i'm like excuse me how do you know lax girl is dating a-list celebrity now she pulls it she's like it's all over tmz it's all over this this this this this she's dating homeboy now this might explain wishy-washy flaky blah blah this might explain who knows i don't know i don't know the timeline i cannot speculate it's not of my business nor my concern you got yourself an a-lister way to go i'm happy for you internally i'm like hello darkness my old friend fast forward another two or three weeks i get a text from my girl victoria victoria's my friend from london and she goes i have another friend let's call her instagram uk model my instagram uk model is trying to get you know her social media popping she's in la i told her it'd be great if you guys linked up and met me and victoria's friend we meet at wolfgang puck's in downtown l.a so i'm there with the uk model we're talking about social media blah blah then she starts going down the list of celebrities who are in her dms i don't believe any of this nonsense i'm just like yes very good hunty yes i'm sure they are in your dms tigers in my dms nick young is in my dms a-list celebrities in my dms and i'm like skurks a-list celebrity you mean the same a-list celebrity that's dating lax girl is in your dms right now hey let's not now i gotta call your bs let me see your phone show me the dms from a-lister right now she opens her dms she shows it to me and sure enough it's him i click the name i see the dms first of all a-lister has no game in the dm just gonna throw that out there i see the name blue check click his name it's his actual profile so like this is all factual and he is in there thirst mcgurst so then uk instagram model is like oh my god he wants me the worst when i landed in la i went on snapchat and i was like i'm here who wants to hang out with me a-lister dm me on snapchat saying delete that i'm the only one you're hanging out with did you delete it yes and did you hang out with him it's none of my business they're my concern in the past i've gotten involved with other people's relationships but i know person a is cheating on person b and i jump in and be like hey he's cheating never goes well so then i started seeing a-lister and lax girl at movie premieres and then just paparazzi casually taking pictures of them whatever the case so again none of my business no my concerns so so then they break up and then i look recently and lax girl unfollowed me recently like what the f what did i do i unfollowed her back so it's all cool so yeah this is this is my life peeps i'm never good enough i'm always inadequate every time i tried so hard and got so far but in the end it doesn't even matter

Channel: sWooZie

Views: 1,989,913

Rating: 4.9570332 out of 5

Keywords: swoozie, adande, lax, girl, a list, animation, celebrity, baggage claim

Id: Lv7eqt1tI4A

Length: 7min 33sec (453 seconds)

Published: Wed Mar 25 2020