Hello everybody, my name is Markiplier and welcome to Google Feud. The game where YOU try to guess what Google is gonna guess when YOU'RE trying to look up porn. Unless you're not looking up porn.. and if you're not, what're you doing with your life? Come on! What else is the internet for? So, my favorite category is 'people' and not any of the other ones. I'll do the other ones to show you what they are, but my favorite is people, because they're relatable human problems, that we humans have to experience, in our hu-man lives, with our hu-man limbs! 'Never put a'.. dick in your butt! *Giggling* Dammit, God damn it.. I told myself I wasn't gonna start it off this way! 'NEVER PUT A QUESTION MARK WHERE GOD'?! 'NEVER PUT A HAT ON YOUR BED'?? 'NEVER PUT A SOCK IN A TOASTER'? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?? I JUST said this was #relatable bullshit! You're gonna give me THIS assetry? Fuck off, Google. 'How to look' ..handsome. Fuck. 'How to look' beeaautiful. FUCK. 'HOW TO LOOK' HOT. God, I gotta know what the internet wants. I gotta speak the internet lingo! It's very simplistic language! 'How to look'... less stupid. 'How to look' cool! Also known as less stupid. BAM! OOOOOOH, FUCK OFF! 'How to look older, pretty, younger, skinny'.. [laughing] 'for bed bugs'.. 'Like a model'? this is bullshit. 'I wanna buy a [singing] SNOWMAAN! Fuck. I wanna buy a car! I wanna buy a house! I wanna buy a dog! I wanna buy a cat! Fuck.. I wanna buy a... [giggling] sibling [laughing] I wanna buy... I WANNA BUY A WIFE! DAMN IT! 'I wanna buy a timeshare.. gun, boat.. tin-' Tiny! Tiny house! I wanna buy an itty bitty house, for Tiny Box Tim to live in. Just an itty bitty one! It'll be adorable! 'My best friend is a' [singing] SNOWMAN! 'My best friend is' an asshole. Aw fuck, come on. [laughing] That makes me look bad, oh no! 'My best friend is a' cool guy. [laughing] Damn it. 'Is a guy, girl' who- Why would you need to look this up?? This isn't a Google worthy phrase! Alright, fine. You know what, whatever. 'MY FRIENDS ARE ALL' ..dead. [laughing] Oh my God.. oh my God, that was one of 'em.. 'My friends are all' jerks. 'My friends are all'... ..cooler than I am! Man, this is talking about my friends a lot. 'My friends are all'.. ...mean! Fuck.. 'Wasted'? 'Wasted and I hate this club'? God, I gotta think more millennial. I gotta be more millennial on this.. 'How to draw a' [singing] SNOWMAN! STICK FIGURE! ...HAND! FUCK! 'Rose'?!?!?! 'How to get rich off'.. ...of stupid people! 'Off'.. the internet! 'How to get rich off' [evil voice] YOUR FAMILY. Eh.. 'How to get rich off' of exploiting slave labor! I gotta spell it right! NOO.. 'stocks, YouTube, penny stocks'.. Fuck! 'Best way to kill' time! wwhAAT? 'Best way to kill' your family! 'Best way to kill' your wIFE! God, damn it, I'm terrible! Oh my God! That was all logical things! [laughing] What was I doing!? Why was I defaulting to murder?! 'I love the feeling of being'..... *silence* [cough] [laughing] Okay, alright then. 'I love the'- [whispering] taste of semen. [uncontrollable giggling] [giggling] 'I love the taste of' (Jack's) dick.. Damn it! [laughing] Wrong both times! 'I love the taste of' [evil voice] blood.. YEAHAHAH! hhaAAAAAAH, 'I love the taste ooooof'..meat. Damn it. [laughing] 'I love the taste of balls'! I was so close! Oh my God.. [giggling] I was on the right track.. I didn't know how close I was. That is so stupid.. It's so stupid, I'm sorry, that's so stupid. 'I accidentally ate' [laughing] Jeff Goldblum.. That's not how you spell his name, damn it.. 'I accidentally ate' Adam Sandler.. 'I accidentally ate' balls.. [distress] OH NO! I ACCIDENTALLY ATE GLUTEN?!?! AW, FUCK, MAN! 'I think I have' an erection. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 'I think I have' a tumor. 'I think I have' cancer.. 'I think I have'... [uncontrollable giggling] a pet named 'Steve'.. [ffs mark now everyone made it a trend] (DAMMIT MARK NOW IT'S A MEME!) [Chica will not be happy about this...] I don't, I don't know why that really made me laugh.. I'm in a very giggly mood, okay? 'I wanna be a' [singing] snowman! I wanna be a' marine, 'I wanna be an' [laughing] engineer.. God damn it. Ohh, 'I wanna be a millionare' that's obvious, that's obvious. 'I think I swallowed a' penis. 'I think I swallowed a' my pet named 'Steve'.. [uncontrollable giggling] I'm sorry, I- this is not funny! This is not funny, I know this! Oh man.. I know! Fuck, man, I'm sorry! ..a nail. Damn it. 'I think I swallowed' oh, 'a chicken bone', 'piece of glass', that, that makes sense. 'What's it like to be' gay? 'What's it like to be' a girl? 'What's it like to be' [laughing] a pet named 'Steve'? (here we go again) [uncontrollable laughter] [cry-laughing] God, that's so not funny, that's so not funny. I'm going out of my God damned mind... 'When you die, you die for real. 'you die' in the game? 'When you die, you' go to heavaan? Heaven? 'When you die, you [Darkiplier] go to hell. [Mark] Damn it! [laughing] 'When you die, you become a tree' You just, become a great beautiful tree.. Oh man.. I'm sorry. I am so sorry. I am so- I am sorry for this video, I am sorry for being a God damn giggly fool.. I- and you can play this game through the link in the description below. Thank you everybody so much for watching, if you want to see more of this let me know, I might explore the other categories but so far people's my favorite. So thanks again everybody for watching, and as always, I will see you in the next video. BUH-BYE! ( Caption maker names in description)
