Hello, everybody! My name is Markiplier and welcome back to another try not to laugh challenge. Now this one's gonna be a little different because the content therein is from a very different source. You may know about this playlist called "Instant Regret Clicking this Playlist (Memes)". So these may be good, they may be bad, they may be funny, they may be horrifying. I honestly don't know! I've never checked out the playlist. So let's see... ... if any of these... ...can make me laugh Also, we are still coming to Australia and Amsterdam again. If you haven't gotten a ticket yet go to Tour.Markiplier.com or check out the link in the description below, to see if we're coming to a city near you. I'm ready! My loins have been girded! Which is a phrase that I'm pretty sure applies to this situation. *Nintendo GameCube logo sting plays, except it cuts out when the cube falls* *Jacksfilms imitating sundae* Oh, please let me in. Please, please... [Jacksfilms]: Please let me in, Daddy. [Jacksfilms]: Oh, Daddy. [Jacksfilms]: Why won't you open the door? *starts laughing* [Jacksfilms]: Why, why won't he open the door? *laughs more* Nope. [Man off-camera]: What do you got there? *gasp* You got scissors?! [Video]: Give me those scissors. No! Don't run with sciss--! [happy dog sniffles] *dog misses high five* The animal ones are always the ones that almost get me but not this time. NOT THIS TIME! *under his breath* Not this time. *PEW PEW PEW sounds, followed by zap sounds as the lasers hit targets* *more PEW PEW PEW sounds* *PEW* *explosion and crashing sound* [Man off-camera]: Hey, Ron.
[Man on the floor]: Hey, Billy. Noooooope! Nope nope nope nope nope nope! [Warning: flashing lights/colors ahead] [Upbeat dancing music] I dunno what the hell i'm watching but it's awesome. Oh GOD. YOU GUYS SEEING THIS TOO? [Music: the theme to 2001: A Space Odyssey]
(long, dramatic horns ascending up the scale) *tympani pounding* Not funny. None of those! None of those are funny! [Video]: *woman's voice off-camera* What is it? *woman gasps*
[Kid]: I can't have these. [Off-screen kid]: Those are illegal! *glass shattering, men yelling* Mmm. *toy squeaks*
[Woman off-camera]: Do you like your new toy? OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH [Woman]: *dryly* Alright. *Stranger Things theme song with scraping as the cat slips* *beat drop, theme song continues* [Cat slips and falls.] *The harmony of since 2011 plays* [Man]: WE GOT BAGELS! WOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH *Mark snorts* What the hell was that? [Man in blue shirt]: Hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me. You can't. [Man in blue shirt]: Reach me with that hand. [Man in blue shirt]: Reach me with that hand, reach me with that-- [Blue shirt guy]: YOU CANNOT.
[Man in red shirt]: *loud sigh* *Mark snorts* [video replays] *Take On Me by A-Ha plays* *sound of Spiderman's web hitting objects* *bonk* *dog sneezing* *more dog sneezing* *explosion* *Clears throat* Not funny. Loud noises and explosions, not funny! *For the Damaged Coda - Blonde Redhead plays* [Video]: *clapping and cheers* *epic, heroic music* [Music: Danny Phantom theme song]
♫When he first woke up he realized he had snow white hair and glowin' green eyes♫ ♫He could walk through walls, disappear, and fly--♫ *crash* ♫ Mario theme music ♫ *thud* *Mario sound effects*: Waaah! *Mario sound effects*: Ooh [cat wtf] *Mario sound effects*: Doh [._.] *Mario sound effects*: Waaah! *Mario sound effects*: Yahoo-UNF *Mario sound effects*: Waa-UNF *Mario sound effects*: Doh *Mario sound effects*: Wahoo! *Mario sound effects*: Waa- Yahoo! *Mario sound effects*: Ho hoo *Mario sound effects*: Awwh *Mario sound effects*: UNF *Mario sound effects*: WAAAH! [NASA operator]: Five, four, three, two, one... *rocket takes off* *mouth pop* Wow. [Narrator]: Since pilots couldn't see out of the plane because of angled landing, the engineers put together a solution. [Man]: The Concorde featured a "droop snoot". [Narrator]: "Droop snoot"? [Man]: Yeah, the snoot would droop. [Narrator]: The snoot drooped. *snorts* That's not funny. [video replays] [Man]: The Concorde featured a "droop snoot". [Narrator]: "droop snoot"? [Man]: Yeah, the snoot would droop. [Narrator]: The snoot drooped. *deep breath* That's not funny... [uh huh] There's no-nothing funny about "droop snoot". "Droop snoot." There's nothin' funny about droop snoot! (Droop snoot) There's nothing funny about droop snoot! (The snoot) There's nothing (would droop) funny about droop snoot! (The snoot drooped.) Oh god. That reminds me of like um...listening to the Dollop there's episode threeeee..twenty-three Ummm It's about the race to Paris from New York done in 1908. It is one of the funniest things I've ever listened to. I recommend listening to it. I'll provide a link in the description to it but this part in particular is so damn funny and I don't know why. [Man's voice #1]: He ate a two-inch-thick steak while people stood around and watched and asked him questions. [Man's voice #2]: So this bogs down into a freak show. [Man's voice #3]: Wellll, *laughs* when not racing, you're just kind of road-tripping so why not eat a great steak? [Man's voice #2]: Is Roberts the driver of the flier?
[Man's voice #1]: Yeah. [Man's voice #2]: Or the reporter-- Oh. [Man's voice #1]: He's the like, good-looking athletic dude. [Man's voice #2]: *imitating* Yeah, watch me eat a steak and I'll make this fat reporter salivate over it. [Man's voice #3]: Yeah! *laughing* [Man's voice #1]: *imitating* I wish i could get out of the car. [All]: *imitating groaning sounds*
[Man's voice #2]: *imitating* Mightn't I the gristle? *all laughing*
[Man's voice #3]: *laughs and repeats* Mightn't I... [Man's voice #2]: *imitating* Shut up, "Ham Hock"! Slap! *continued laughter* Man #2: Oh... The uh.. *More laughing* Man #3: Mightn't I! *laughing* I'm sorry, I have no idea why that's so funny. To get the full context of it I recommend listening to the episode, it's so unbelievably funny. Okay back to the other videos! [Woman]: Ahh.
[Narrator]: You probably say it a million times a day. [Woman #2]: Uhhh...
[Man]: Ah! [Man #2]: Uhhh...
[Seal]: *grunting* UHHH. *hardcore metal music plays* *mosquito dances* *pushes button* [Man's voice off-camera]: Who are you? [Man]: I'm Ashley. [Man's voice off-camera]: Oh, fuck. *Mark barely holds back a snort* *clears throat in an exaggerated fashion* Totally fine. [Gavin]: Super duper extremo bonanza fast. [Dan]: Any more adjectives or--? [Gavin]: fLoOpIn'. *Sound of a glass being set down.* Not funny. [SomeThingElseYt]: What the fff--? What?! [Video]: *intro to Avatar: The Last Airbender* *Katara's voice* Water. Earth.
[Man]: Can you throw me another Capri Sun? *thwock * *soft snorting* Why is someone getting hit in the face so funny?! It's not! It's mean, it hurts! Oww! [Man's voice imitating the gorilla speaking]: Carl? Caaaarl. Music? [Cued music, some energetic drum beats]
["Gorilla"]: *clears throat* ["Gorilla"]: Wait, nah. Skip! [Another energetic song plays] ["Gorilla"]: *humming* ["Gorilla"]: Better! [Man off-camera]: Luke, the bag says it makes three dozen cookies. Why did you make four? [Luke]: *giggling and mumbling* There's four. *soft snorting* Not funny. *clears throat* *quietly* "Somebody toucha my spaghet" "mine-a too" "mine's gone" [Tommy Wiseau]: I did not hit her. It's not true, it's bullshit! [Tommy Wiseau]: I did not hit her. I did not!
[Man in bottom corner]: Can you get me another Capri Sun? *thunck* *snort* I knew what was coming! I knew it! I knew what was coming. I didn't expect it to be such an elegant pass. [Man off-camera]: I'm at 7-Eleven getting gas, right? Let me insert my card... [Man off-camera]: Release card... *machine beeps* [Man off-camera]: One moment... [Man off-camera]: BONELESS CHICKEN * quietly snorting* *clears throat weakly* [Man on voice chat]: Is that our car? Roll it up. [Game character's voice]: *impact* Oof! [Man on voice chat]: *illegible muttering*
[Music: "Roundabout" by Yes] [Man #2 on voice chat]: NO!!-- *cuts out* [Woman off-camera]: Do you like the snow?
[Baby]: *crying* No! [Woman off-camera]: Why not?
[Baby]: *more crying* [Woman off-camera]: Can you say "snow"? [Baby]: *over-exaggerated super whiny cry* [Music: upbeat electronic, dinosaur's mouth synced up with synthesizer] [Man off-camera]: So my mom tried to be cute and make these little Thanksgiving snacks here she saw on, uh... [Man off-camera]: Pinterest. This is what they actually came out like. *laughs* That's fine. [Man]: *howling*
[Trinity]: What is he doing? [Morpheus]: He's beginning to believe. *crashing sound*
*man groans* *Next video plays, but Mark snorts* *smack* *clang!* *clears throat* Totally fine. [Man]: He discovered Jesus and then he started doing things and he made a hot air balloon, you know. [Man]: He had a passion. That sand hill, that way, he wanted, you know [Man]: He had a passion *clap* and this is so beautiful 28 years *clap* of dedication.*clap* Try to dedicatin' 28 minutes *clap* to somethin' nowadays. *clap* [Man]: Realistically. I think about that *louder clap* and so I volunteered more. Then eventually *clap* they had [Man]: me be like a greeter and I would *jibberish* then I was like "Well, can I--" *loud clap* [Man]: He agreed, like "Oh, yeah go ahead". *jibberish* The next thing you know I'm the caretaker and I've been living here a year and a half. *loud clap* Oh! Oh! *whimpering* *sigh* "OOF" *snorting* Ah, that was not funny! Ahhhh. Not funny. Supergirl: Maybe Kara Danvers is tougher than you think Supergirl: *blows air*
[Music: slow, bumbling, goofy] The Flash: *grunts strenuously and pants* The Flash: We're not gonna win this today. Supergirl: (boing) *snorts* *more grunting* [MarkZ]: And sing along with me! [MarkZ]: *singing Silver Scrapes very badly, voice keeps breaking* [MarkZ]: Bee-woo-doop, doo-eeee-woo, boo-doo-doop [etc...] [Music: "The Nations of the World" from Animaniacs] [Yakko]: United States-- *gunshot cuts him off* [Donald Glover]: This is America *snort* *clears throat* [Hank]: *illegible shouting* No more bouncin' that ball! *loud crash*
[Homer]: OWWW!! [Peggy]: Hank... [Homer]: OW! What the hell is wrong with you?! *sounds of the bird chirping and the plastic hitting the beak* Augh. That is a cute-ass bird. [Woman off-camera]: I love you, [illegible].
[Dog]: *howls* *dog is still howling, then becomes a yell from a man* *Loud scream* *snort* [video replays] [video replays slightly slower]. [video replays again even slower] *loud snort* *whimper* *clears throat* [Baby]: *gasps* [Rabbi]: Where's the money, Lebowski? *gurgling sounds* [Rabbi]: I want that money, Lebowski. Bunny says you're good for it. *splash*
[Rabbi]: WHERES THE FUCKING MONEY, SHITHEAD!?? [Baby]: It's down there somewhere, let me take another look.* *Splash* *Laughter* *breath in* *snickering* [video replays] [Rabbi]: I want that money, Lebowski. Bunny says you're good for it. *splash*
[Rabbi]: Where's the fucking money, shithead?! [Rabbi]: It's down there somewhere, let me take another look. *Splish splash i was taking a bath* *breaks* *inhale* Aaauugh... shit. So the playlist is good, the playlist is good, but there's a lot of like... repeat offenders in that. So there's a reason why I skipped so many is because a lot of the times it'll be like 50 videos in a row that are all about the same exact meme, and it's kind of like going through memes of history in a way. Because you know what was the most trending topic of that moment because everybody made a video joking about that one topic. 'Course it's not that bad anyway, so thank you everybody so much for watching! I lost as is usual. But then again, I try to go until I lose, no matter what happens. So thank you, everybody, so much for watching! Let me know what you thought down in the comments below, and yes! I'm going to Australia and Amsterdam. If you haven't gotten tickets yet check out Tour.Markiplier.com for tickets. If you liked this, let me know in the comments below, and subscribe for more cool videos like this. So thanks again, everybody for watching, and as always I will see you.. in the next video. BUH - BYE !
I know most people know this, but Markiplier was inspired to start his channel by NL
Time stamp around 10:18 for any mobile bois.
Man I was super hoping he would notice who it was or say anything, but he didn't and that kinda bummed me out
That dog at 13:32 made me lose it, lol.
Oh darn I was so excited to post about this, but I should have known someone else already noticed haha
Dan's pithy response to this post (probably):
https://youtu.be/8IIvvazsbe4?t=10m