Kevin's Best Moments | Brooklyn Nine-Nine | Comedy Bites

so nice of you to stop by kevin enjoy your day i hope it's productive thank you raymond i hope your day is productive as well pda in the office my my i couldn't help myself hmm oh may i please use the precinct facilities before i head to work yes thank you for asking for permission thank you for granting it womp there it is gotta say i could have used a little more oomph on the woman that's the emptiest we'll go again so what's going on why do you want to mean private i need your help with the case three antique coins were stolen from my classics department at columbia so why not ask captain holt for help on the case wait are you guys getting a divorce i can handle it this doesn't bring up any weird issues for me no it's nothing like that raymond's a brilliant detective it's just when a case involves me he can get a little over-emotional you remember the safe house oh yeah he went crazy but i also remember you and me becoming best friends and watching every nick cage movie ever made can you still quote them all no i purged myself of that nonsense i bet it's still in there that's nice there's a chance it's in there i'd put money that maybe it's there you're losing your money okay so will you help me i don't know i want to but keeping a secret from holt that's a lot of pressure hmm am i remembering correctly don't you eat pressure for breakfast oh nick cage in the rock we are best friends i am so in oh no that's raymond that's how he opens a door kevin are you still in here uh yes raymond i'm in the stall uh some tickets were just released for mahler's fourth symphony this weekend great that sounds great let's do it fantastic now which section do you prefer the first tier the second tier the third tier the first here now which section of the first tier right left right center center just any section is fine any section well someone had pepper on their eggs this morning i'll buy the tickets any section [Music] hey there [Music] where is kevin don't worry he's safe look captain i just want to say that i'm sorry you should be you should have abided by my security rules you're right but i want you to know i didn't take kevin to the library because i was stir crazy it's because i didn't want you guys to get divorced how is that any concern of yours i don't know i just i've been around so many failed marriages in my life you know first my mom and my dad and charles and eleanor hitchcock and brandy hitchcock and francine hitchcock and brandy again hitchcock and madison madison wasn't his daughter but he dropped her off at college last fall i know it was really gross but the point is i just couldn't stand to see you two fall apart perhaps i should have been more understanding what kevin was going through i may die here tonight and his last memory of me will be how miserable i made him so peralta what do you have to say for yourself the whole nypd knows where you are and they're coming for you right now okay thanks for the tip let's kill them both get out of here before the cops come wait no no no no i was lying about the backup i came alone titled my sex tape doesn't matter you're both gonna die now better get some corticosteroids to treat that laryngeal fracture sorry i couldn't bring myself to call him a dirt bag and why would you a dirtbag is a very useful part of the vacuum cleaner clearly it's a compliment oh you guys are so perfect for each other yeah i stole those coins i can't believe you bought that old story they underestimated you randy just as they underestimated raymond holt uh you guys haven't been that great to me either well you got to teach people how you want to be treated randy dr phil r.i.p the point is captain holt solved the case when no one else could he's actually been stealing from these archives for years you've been asleep at the wheel alistair you're an embarrassment really well at least i've never confused scent or gusting with boethius oh who gives a rat's ass about boethius wesley what are you doing kevin i'm creating a kerfuffle oh damn sure my husband is a hot piece of ass but he is so much more than just that raymond holt is as smart as anyone in this department but he chooses to use his intelligence to make our city a better place one day i hope to live up to the standard you set you make me want to have a wetter brain i'm kevin [Music] y'all are hella specific hello kevin so uh here's an update on sheamus thanks to our little operation the fbi was able to roll up his entire organization they're saying it's gonna be one of the most significant ricoh prosecutions they've ever done amazing it's over now he can't hurt me or kevin thank you for titting my tat well thank you for tatting my tit and you know in a weird way i'm gonna miss our little house yes and in an even weirder way i think i might actually miss you huh and in an even weirder way i want you guys to be my dads that is weirder yeah i got stuff i uh brought you your box of dvds huh thank you oh forgot about this one we never watched captain corelli's mandolin what the hell did you just say captain carly's mandolin say that to my face captain carol's panel there was a movie about a mandolin and you kept it from me for two months i didn't think it was any good it's just some period piece what set in greece oh my gosh based on some dumb book terribly sorry it has been a very trying time yeah next thing you're gonna say you wish we had watched leaving las vegas a dark ponderous reflection on alcoholism that earned cages oscar ah what i told you the guy's got range i refuse to put kevin in harm's way understood but i think maybe i have a way to put kevin in danger without putting kevin in danger well hello there raymond teach me kevin and i am detective jacob peralta he didn't have anything else to wear so he just switched he understands okay if we're gonna pull this off we need to teach you how to move talk and act exactly like kevin in other words we have ourselves a pygmalion situation exactly a pig mailman situation right it'll be okay well it'll be okay let's get started yes let's get started it's getting worse spot on kevin look raymond a yellow-crusted warbler a greymund a yellow-crested warbler no you're too excited the warbler is a common bird and then i said which metamorphosis kafka or ovid i loved it he loves it oh so that's the joke now you tell it oh okay so a professor walks into a rare books collection no you've ruined it no it's not funny look raymond a yellow-crested warbler look raymond a yellow-crusted word ugh not excited enough they may be common but they're still birds the 92nd street y had a wonderful symposium on just that topic that's it you're getting it ah don't say cool instead say indeed oh indeed indeed indeed indeed indeed that's weird look raymond a yellow-crusted warbler yes that's the right level of excitement for such a bird you captured the essence of kevin you've done it correction i've accomplished it indeed indeed indeed it's growing on me gina i know you like champagne with a drop of pomegranate juice i like to say it's nature's classiest alcohol mixed with its nastiest fruit and peralta i hope this will do it's a can of orange soda from when some other children visited it's perfect thank you for inviting us in yes i invited gina in you were with her okay look everyone's blaming me for the captain's horrible mood because of a small thing that happened wednesday morning when you flooded his office with cider well the water actually flooded it the cider just caused it but i swear he was already upset when he got to work he was anger articulating coat coat jacket coat is this a police precinct all a turkish bazaar hmm yes i dread those enunciated denunciations yeah i hate those dubuntu base and the vertigo but so my question is could something have happened at home before he left for work well i remember that morning he left this house at seven and was in a great mood in fact he was still chuckling about the previous night's charlie rose fine so your marriage might not be the problem but he didn't get to work until ten that means whatever ruined his mood happened in those three hours we have to retrace his steps we i'm not going to investigate my own husband uh-huh totally well that was a great chit chat don't you think gina seemed like it went real bad for you chat oh you know kevin maybe if we figure out what caused raymond's bad mood we could fix it great idea gina i suppose we could look into it yes great let's go right now no time to lose don't look just run you're trying to get me out of here before i see the orange soda you spilled on that chair aren't you i'm already out the door it worked is the captain home no good i figured out what happened to him he was mugged what he told you this no i used my detective skills as well as my spot on holt impression to figure it out i retraced his steps and found security footage after he left fencing three shady guys followed him into an alley one of them had a knife that's why he's been in such a bad mood he's a police captain that got mugged he's embarrassed oh my goodness there he is what are you doing in my house raymond you were mugged what what did you say to him captain it's okay there's nothing to be embarrassed about i'm not embarrassed and i wasn't mugged three men tried to mug me but i fought them off injuring two of them wait so you heroically fought off three guys and that puts you in a bad mood if i did that i would literally write a song about myself it would be like jake the hero abs of steel why would you keep this from me and why would you lie about going to fencing because he couldn't go because he's injured i wasn't injured i was lightly stabbed i'm sorry you were stabbed you

Channel: Comedy Bites

Views: 914,652

Keywords: kevin brooklyn nine-nine, kevin and holt, kevin and holt brooklyn nine-nine, kevin and holt marriage, kevin and holt relationship, kevin and holt wedding, kevin and holt being soulmates, kevin and holt fight, kevin and holt moments, captain holt gets stabbed, jake impersonates kevin, jake impersonates kevin brooklyn 99, brooklyn 99 safehouse, brooklyn 99 safe house ending, brooklyn nine nine nicolas cage, brooklyn nine nine nicolas cage mandolin, kevin holt separated

Id: zMyuMy9PF_M

Length: 9min 46sec (586 seconds)

Published: Mon Jul 19 2021