Big Hunky ＲＯＢＯＴ Chads Rule The World

so there I was chillin in my base on Ocwen territory outside the walls of their capital having a swell time if it wasn't for all the razor beats eating my [ __ ] crops the world of kimchi is a barren butthole and it's hard to find food so I was like hey let's recruit some of these metal dudes they don't seem to eat it'll keep my resources in check it's what's in your trump would call a pretty sweet deal well the AH currents came waltzing by primed and ready for Bible study and they see my awesome aluminum panels guarding the gate and they go absolutely ape [ __ ] cuz I got some robot boys all of a sudden like the holy nation attacks they ransacked my fort killed everyone so in retaliation I created a death squad of chat bots to systematically wipe out the Ocwen society their kung-fu masters they dress to kill their credit score is 830 and they're gonna do everything in their power to see those Ocwen in cells taking a long dirt nap at the business end of their robot [ __ ] [Music] wait a second these guys aren't chasing aqua Knights I'm on a exclusive mission that requires me to hunt down this armless person and kick him to death doing some recruiting why am i doing recruiting because last episode taught me one thing and one thing only the strength of the Chad BOTS is not only in their rigid beautiful sensual sexual aggressive biceps and feet mostly more than anything the strength of a Chad is in his ability to use the people around him like a demagogue able to get people to fight for him which brings me to the Chad crabs I know at the end of last episode you saw them coming up over the hill and you thought to yourself by God Sam's gonna use these crabs to take over the Aqua Knights wrong I've changed my goddamn mind because these [ __ ] pieces of [ __ ] along with those beak things god damn it if you play this game those things scare the hell outta you the problem with the Chad crabs as cool as they are is they suffer from the same weaknesses that these goddamn arcanite suffer from their biological their living beams they get tired they sleep they get crippled they fall down they get knocked unconscious if only there was a mechanical version of a crab and that's when I remembered that a spider and when I remembered that my penis got incredibly erect we're going east we're off to look for mechanical spider boys we're gonna beat them up we're gonna tame them get over there and beat that thing up you are gonna be mine and we will utilize you to destroy the Aqua Knights now don't struggle so much it's fine beat that thing up real quick oh yeah we got three of them now now you're thinking like kin she wants you to think enslave and conquer Oh what is this a nice little awkward mining town let's just see how these spiders do in combat okay I'm gonna be honest with you son these these Robo spiders they're not too good I just picked this guy's Foot Locker at the edge of his bed first of all he's got some weird infatuation with pearl vases second of all look how many Bibles he has this guy's Bible DUP from the asseh the spider chad's and the Chad BOTS pushed onward hell bent on enslaving more spider Chad's for the cause I think I found an entire city of robots it's called black desert city maybe I can find the people I need in here bolster my ranks a little bit here is the group that I showed up with got a couple of these robots a couple of spiders this is the group I recruited from the bar one bar I wiped everybody out of there they all joined me I gave them new names we had Calvin Bob we got Travis Bob we got another Travis buck because I forgot I made one Travis pot we got Trent Q Brody bought Troy bot we got sad Neil mostly because he's a depressed little [ __ ] ain't even got pants on and so look at this I've like doubled my force just from going to one bar in a robot town and go on a who likes humans nobody you want to join me and [ __ ] kick their asses and they all stood up and we're like a boss where's the asses I wonder how that bar man feels I just a guy walks in there gets everybody to leave no I didn't even see anybody go up to the counter and pay their tab they just it's caught up walked out and what the [ __ ] does a robot bar do anyways they don't even drink we're back at the camp and by god I've been working hard right now we have the originals the Chad BOTS masters of unarmed combat they don't take [ __ ] from nobody and on the other hand we have the chad 'let's the guys that we recruited from that robot town they're pretty much experts at [ __ ] nothing oh my god they're it's a complete squad of noodle arm Melvin's but the Chad 'lets they stand strong you know it's great they don't require food spider Chad's they don't require food the Chad BOTS they don't require food [ __ ] biological entities am i right fellas fresh green-faced recruits we have all of our spider robots not exactly well-versed in the art of tearing in cells limb from limb and then we had the one seasoned veteran Blake bot you know he's been he's been through some [ __ ] you can tell by the way he stands with his thousand-yard stare with his cold demeanor with his chiseled elbows he's gonna teach you guys how to be the exact same way even you with the dorky round forehead all right so I know I'm gonna there's gonna be some serious-ass weapons here some spiders are gonna get beaten up probably roll down the hill a little bit but at the end of the day I'm hoping that this will make my men stronger this actually might be a catastrophic loss Hey okay now slowly climb over everybody and start fixing up the one guy that can fight fix up Blake Dodd okay after that ass-whooping you know one of my robots lost his leg so he's getting carried we're gonna go back to the border zone oh yeah what a sight and you know what I'm gonna be sitting here for hours for hours and I'm not gonna make you look at another minute of it that's that's where they're just you know there's beefing up there's getting their muscles big you know getting them getting them pecs huge trainings going nicely this calls chosen is putting up a good fight you count looks like Corvus glaive a little bit you know that's pretty cool the starving bandit is low he's starving that skinny little ass and then over here we have an Inquisitor and he is Jesus Christ look how he's just throwing kicks I got this guy from that city we sacked last episode he is a brick [ __ ] by the way birdie bot lost his leg in a fight and so he eased to ease just I don't know where to get a leg from so you just can't he's just kind of lay in here I don't know why this guy's in bed I think he's alright he's just you just felt like taking a just felt like taking a nap oh Sh and he knocked the Inquisitor out how did you do that who's this guy oh he's playing dead he's not even actually dead you know you're not gonna be slacking on your training just cuz one guy wants to play oh he's not playing dead now he's standing up he's like my arm my arm hurts all right I want to go whack off and eat lunch when I came back my guys are still at it one guy is he's favorite fighting back anymore alright Chiefs this is your challenge you've been training and I want to see you take on these slavers the [ __ ] did the dog come from get out of here alright see one slave longer on the ground that's good two on the ground three on the ground oh and they're chasing down the dog beat him up it's a [ __ ] mutt beat it up yeah now who's the slave monger huh it doesn't look like they knew much okay there we go their area I was about to say hey looking good but then they start yeah we just knocked down and he's just standing there looking at it he's got an arrow sticking out of top of his head yo listen to your dog you got some balls of steel dude if you think okay you know what we're gonna turn around you weren't expecting that were you now look what you've done you know what that looked like I look like that video of the the crocodile getting thrown around by those hippos you've seen it okay this is where things get tricky I'm gonna attack the town of stacking I don't see any other roaming party so I'm just gonna kind of go in there a little bit you know and just kind of see what's going on there a little bit all right I was kind of thinking it would be a little bit more controlled than this but they just ran right into the market and started slaying you know say what you want about the holy nation these guys I gotta give it to him they they don't stop Kyle BOTS dead oh [ __ ] what what's this guy sitting on the throne the High Inquisitor SATA is this like the Capitol oh he's limping I didn't realize this was like that that wasn't the president right there kidnap him he's mine I deal with you later Buster and he is now our prisoner goddamn Lopez arm put a beefy boy all right so you want to hear some real [ __ ] check this out this man's that is being carried by [ __ ] off never mind that's the wrong dude this man's being carried by Travis but he it no that's the wrong one that's what any [ __ ] has the right guy there's the main guy called like the holy Phoenix or something and then he has a right hand man and a left hand man you know because you can't have a circle jerk without at least three people these in cells know exactly what they're doing I got one of them the other one resides in some sort of like military outpost somewhere and then the main man's the president CEO CFO officers board Phoenix himself resides in blister Hill so first we're gonna take out the other guy and then we're gonna sack blister Hill okay buddy you're going in here [Music] because I've sacked two cities the sheykh kingdoms moved in we're in the middle of Akron territory right here look we're outside bad teeth this is that city I sacked last time it's working it's working the holy nations are falling excuse me statue of the holy Lord Phoenix of Akron toppled it's been toppled boys we did it I just came in to check on SATA I accidentally let him out and then I had to [ __ ] [ __ ] him in order to get him back in the cage and I put him back in there now look at heshes just having a grand old time just dancing might be a seizure I don't know we got the right hand man of the Lord Phoenix but now he has a left hand man and he is all the way up here and a little military fort called Akron shield [Music] oh look at this this tech hunter is fighting these people 64 damage these guys are inquisitors oh that's high Inquisitor voltina right there attack oh he was like goddamn Brad BOTS dead what the [ __ ] put a brick [ __ ] this guy's not even really that [ __ ] up I'm like crippling him but he's not even he's not ain't even getting dunked on really well someone like just put him in a choke hold there it is blister Hill residing over the rest of the valley of Akron it's the last vestige of these stupid jackass holy nation guys and you know what I feel like I can take a mount I don't know about you guys but I'm pretty anxious to see this ass-whooping begins so let's just [ __ ] go in there and let's get it going on blind devotion will be a nation soul destruction as giant statues of himself you know what dude this isn't a sacking of a city think of this as like a purging like when your body gets rid of that Taco Bell [Music] holy [ __ ] dear God back it up back it up back it up back it up back it up back it up that is a lot I might have to save on that one oh there's a lot of red numbers who's not all there's not a lot of green numbers that's a lot of flying skeleton spiders all my Chad BOTS are down all my Chad let's her down except for two that wasn't even [ __ ] close dude they're just there's just too many of them there's that where were they having [ __ ] Bible study in there what the [ __ ] why are there so many okay I think what I'm gonna have to do is go ahead and just approach this from a different angle I see there's a mountain pass up here with a rear gate that's suspiciously close to these men's right here let me go ahead and tack it from the back you know what I was because I love attacking from the back that's where it's all in it right there that's where the real yeah the surprised back attack hit him with her vulnerable you know hidden world leave psychological damage for years you know what I'm talking about because I think I feel like this is only meant to be an exit you know what's better than making an exit and entrance you know what I'm saying because they weren't expecting that I don't think it was designed for that but I'm thinking about just blowing that thing in you know what I'm talking about just forcing myself into that gate crazy robot guy hope someone doesn't try to beat me up you fallen for my trap card oh this guy's doing a hand-to-hand combat oh my god they sent their best martial art guy against my best martial art guy and look who won right you [ __ ] who's this guy apparently a [ __ ] nobody okay first of all Chad's bought what happened to your arm dude what happened to your arm it's your arm all messed up what's this your left arm messed up good thing I got a replacement yeah robot time you know what I'm saying epic robot moment hey use that new arm to [ __ ] destroy this man's life destroy his whole career do nothing nothing new robot arm now I got a run back in for one more luring attempt I want to see how many people are left in there what there's nobody left it's just the guy on his throne go and kill this man oh we broke his arm already that's good that's good beat him beat him harder oh I figured that would be a whole nother the holy nation are now hostile towards you really after all this that's what makes them hostile all right we got the whole kit we got the whole caboodle let's get the heck out of here [Music] [Laughter] oh do you see that that's the Phoenix that's a sight to behold everybody as I'm passing through all the towns and cities I've liberated people are coming by yanking my dick a little bit is that the Phoenix you've done God's work home sweet home and my right fellas a holy Lord Phoenix there you go into this cage OOP yeah he's holding his hey hey wait a second this ain't good think you can cage me the Lord and carnot the children of Ocwen will come for me and you will be smited for your wicked ways that is nice look at me hey guys it's me the Lord Phoenix of getting [ __ ] I'm not much for theatrics but I'm going all out on this one show will be this afternoon after I get done doing some building and trim pies you gotta come in here and and build it construct something for me because boy oh boy I got a surprise waiting in here all right my little Chad lets you have grown from little rust-bucket nobody's until full-fledged chad bots in a very short period of time I put you through the wringer and I'm gonna be honest you rose to the occasion you guys were whooping ass and a lot of you died but in the end I also have alladia and the ones that are left total ass kickers and you know what I made for you guys check this out your very own medical Bay for robots go ahead heal your little wounded asses look how content they are look how happy they are laying down in their little robot beds who's my little Calvin ba da who's my little Kyle you are you little goober well they're lounging I guess I'll get started with the festivities your day of reckoning is upon you come on come on hurry up we don't want to keep them waiting do we you three are the last remaining Chad BOTS there used to be many of you you're all that remains but don't be discouraged you have taken down an empire an empire that hates your kind and more importantly an empire that hates women because you know equality and stuff you know transcript on youtube pick up what I said give me some extra CPM you know what I'm saying so you guys might be thinking hey I just toppled an empire I'm feeling pretty good what what on God's green earth could Sam provide us that would make us feel better well look no further than right [ __ ] next to you because I got you guys some entertainment what we have here is the three men that were running the holy nations we got high Inquisitor SATA high Inquisitor Val Tina and then we got the main man the holy Lord Phoenix and right behind them we have what are commonly referred to as peelers here let's give a demonstration let's just throw one of these bad boys in there put in alright looks like that what about you let's put you in there and of course last but not least the holy Lord Phoenix himself Wow see these these machines are designed to slowly peel the limbs and skin off of them Oh your bodyguard by the way was forced to watch this happen but apparently he's ashamed of what's happening does he's facing the wall feel that steam pretty boy that's pride [ __ ] with you oh my god his arms and legs fell off you've been dirt enough let's first aid them first aid this man there we go oh [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] pull out the main man throw him on the ground what areas there's our boy first aid him too I can't have him die either it's important that we keep these men alive you know what would be the ultimate stab to the [ __ ] you know if you hate robots so much that a robot kidnaps you rips off your arms and legs and replaces them with robotic arms and legs wouldn't that be the ultimate kick to the [ __ ] you look so demoralized you want a you want a fleshlight there you go free of charge you know what I'm saying it can fight back you know what I'm saying Oh this man's actually up he's awake oh he's out no he is awake oh he can crawl oh he's got some kicks Oh yo he's utilizing he stopped he's become more than just a man he's a machine man with the hatred for machines Jesus think it kicked is that Alright I've won robotic limb left who gets it which one of you lucky dogs a high tier economy arm just for your right side hey leave it guess who can masturbate again [Music] there's a lot of things that are outlawed by the Geneva Convention including torture but the problem is is that they don't really go into specifics I mean is this really torture when you think about it yes I did put them in a giant potato peeler to systematically rip off their arms and legs turning them into mr. oblongs with six packs but after I did then I also have the capability of adding limbs mechanical ones to turn them into something more than human something better than human you know you can stick this hand in the oven pull your chicken tenders out without even putting on an oven mitt that's an enhancement Geneva Convention doesn't say anything about enhancing your enemies there's no laws against that you know so you need to stop being down in the dumps dude I've done nothing but help you out the Chad bots are after all merciful Lords caring lords and in this nation of Chad BOTS anybody male or female can come on over to this land of equal opportunity get their limbs ripped off and replaced with cool hive grade shitty skeleton arms so they too can pull their chicken tenders out of their oven with no oven mitt because this is Chad Ville and that's how we [ __ ] roll [Music] now that the story arcs over can you guys please save me

Channel: General Sam

Views: 1,017,263

Rating: 4.9643469 out of 5

Keywords: kenshi, funny, satire, general sam, moments, clips, holy nation, skeletons, chadbot, kenshi gameplay, kenshi lets play

Id: W1ilr6jCA24

Length: 24min 9sec (1449 seconds)

Published: Tue Jul 02 2019