Minecraft Is Our Salvation 🙏 Here's Why

so i've i've kind of realized something gamers are the opposite of pedophiles we will do our best to stay away from any game that has kids because unlike serial killers and pedophiles gamers have realized that kids they're not even fun to kill and terrorize they literally suck the fun out of whatever you're doing we hate them according to reddit the best game ever made minecraft it died because every server was jam-packed with little mouth-breathing kids then fortnight came out and all the kids jumped from minecraft to that and now apex came out and the kids are at the gates looking in so if you enjoy apex take one last look at it because that shit's about to look like a chuck e cheese and if you're still playing it you're gonna look like that one [ __ ] that shows up to chuck e cheese without any kids and just sits down to drink beer and look at the kids in the ball pit but don't worry there is relief on the horizon because redditors being the geniuses that they are they banged two rocks together and realized if all the kids left minecraft for fortnite and all the kids are jumping from fortnite to apex well that means minecraft is kid free and cool again when you put in your [ __ ] cd player that's what i'm talking about that's right gamers strap up it's time to grind for that view we ain't living that green top life we go big or go home i assembled the whole crew steve stout brian shiro and i guess bumbo too the [ __ ] chance of minecraft it [ __ ] them up [ __ ] them up [Music] you have no idea how long i've waited for this moment alex jones did nothing wrong well steve jesus christ you have this don't put that in your video i don't want to get i don't want to get banned on twitch alex jones did nothing wrong why do you guys keep saying that that's unethical i'm trying to have a nice [ __ ] game of minecraft and you're doing this [ __ ] yo guys first night is coming oh god i hear a baby don't get that [ __ ] baby out of my face dude he's gonna kill me do i need help oh god you got him dude you got him i'm gonna die your character looks so happy about it i got a master's degree in hitting kids on so fast seem like a green top kind of guy what the [ __ ] he's back dude i can't i cannot [ __ ] with this i have nothing and he has everything i made it worse dude hop off i found this [ __ ] first chief yeah i found a second dude if we're supposed to make a society why does it matter who gets the gold because it's not a communist one you [ __ ] this one oh that was worth it brian come here okay gamer zone that's where i'm building my house up in there this this gamer hole over here yeah the game this area is mine i call this corner this coin is mine that's weird because this is my name on it so that's weird because my sword says your name on it buddy guys guys guys calm down dude oh my god de-escalate look he backed off look he backed off yo i ain't [ __ ] with that dude about that [ __ ] i just need a couple of z get ahead of my bed jesus christ what the hell are you doing dude i'm out in the middle of nowhere all of a sudden bumble's just sneaking up on me that's not cool man heck off bumbo you are gonna get kicked out of this realm what did he do he is firing arrows at me [Music] dude i'm sorry i'm looking at the place where we're building from a distance and that shit's looking naughty right now son that [ __ ] kind of got me horny dawg [Music] oh my god dude that's how you know where we're balls deep into a nice minecraft set right there dude when you scream that was [ __ ] intense even through the window dude [ __ ] two doors yeah to the right yeah is this your sam yeah go on in man chad's welcome y'all dude oh you found my secret chest i need his i need his resources that he drops i need to say that in the nerdiest [ __ ] way what are you acoustic i need his independent variable wait a second i see though so i see crap falling from the heavens so what are you doing about nothing this is this is more of a survival shack right that kind of that kind of sounds like something already i don't know what is the most something thing i've ever heard i got you dude yo brian what are you digging through my house for dude what the [ __ ] yeah i thought that was the entrance because it's made of dirt i did you a favor what are you doing on the next plate found an ex exploit your way through my half built home like it looks nice is that your way of covering up just as a compliment as you're as you come kool-aid manning through the wall yeah who's nice place [ __ ] busted out of plate glass window keeps going oh [ __ ] they [ __ ] rowdy real cheese do you see that in chat did you see that in chat do you see that in chat i didn't see it in there we're getting like shot at he's like it's literally like playing apex with him dude we're all getting shot just finish it just [ __ ] finish it just do it diamonds dude welcome to the gang bang eugenia jesus yes yo yo welcome to the bone train oh oh i can't play this i cannot play this it's like a horror game did you guys just not see the emerald chill in here who gives a [ __ ] wow i could [ __ ] make a big nose brown person happy for like two seconds all right come on man wow [ __ ] i think slime chunks is so gay whoa next to us okay it's 2019 you want to use the homophobic [ __ ] in order to get your point across hey thanks dude jesus christ whoa [Music] wear these whenever you're going to conventions so all the cool kids know who to bully the ugly 90s socks wear these if you're a boomer and get a super stiff three incher when reminiscing about how great the 90s were in the peace day resistance these whenever you respect a woman and she doesn't immediately have sex with you so you have to go home and furiously masturbate to cuckold porn really relatable considering my audience these should sell really well there's limited quantities so hit the link in the description and grab some just in case you're [ __ ] here's a couple examples of how to use these socks while wearing them on your hands you no longer leave fingerprints behind which leaves you free to forcibly reclaim that charizard your childhood friends stole from you 12 years ago they work great as decorative covers for your significant others or you can just wear them on your feet accompanied with some of the finest solomon speed cross 3's and run away from all your problems but i still gotta show off a little bit link's in the description the shekel scheme is it whose house is that over there with the trees sticking out the type of combos that looks cute dude it looks like something from dragon ball z too bad you're shunned from this community you'll never be part of the mountaintop gang hey you know what's funny is you think that's a lake but that's actually just a sewage pond where we dump all of our turds [Music] dude whoever's playing bumbo's videos turn that [ __ ] on brad this is an epic back and forth going on right here i don't like this at all who do you need at least he gets to sleep with his spouse oh [ __ ] hey whoa 2019 there's nothing wrong with sucking wieners every now and then downing a wiener so far under your throat nothing wrong with that you did that you didn't have to say so far that's the one thing you didn't have to [ __ ] you never saw my garden you little [ __ ] what what the [ __ ] is there to see okay never mind never mind no no no no no no no you have a garden let me check out your garden i don't want you guys to see now sam can i please see your garden oh my god i never thought you'd ask come on in please please share with me come on upstairs chief check this out all right it's a garden well once it grows all this will move on but it's a work in progress right you know it's a good start okay not a garden i would say i would say something nice because it looks like you guys were really disrespected brian came up here with this stupid smile on his face and then this the longer i looked at it the more i thought he was mocking me wow it's really great it's really great man there's a creeper in my house [Music] okay you need to [ __ ] light it better hold on he's looking around no don't go it don't go in there oh whoa he's he's on the second floor too he's in there we can fix this what are you gonna go back into your house and log off stop you're my you're my hero dude just a couple more blocks and i'll go raise my daughter i swear i promise you dude just a couple more just need my itch man don't worry i i'm looking i'm looking at my entrance you know it's kind of low-key stalton that's not really my entrance shiro's on the other hand is looking majestic like it's holding up this whole thing i'm interested yours looks like the it's just a [ __ ] dirty little red light district brothel what the [ __ ] is that it's just the back door all right your back door looks like ass who are you what are you doing dude what why'd you take it down i didn't you broke it okay well why do why are you in here how about that don't don't worry about what i was doing whoa that's why everything got really dark holy [ __ ] no someone poured water down my mine shaft brian you're about to get [ __ ] banned swear to god i did well come down here and put all the torches back wow oh i'm saying about that one sam made a [ __ ] flushed or made a automatic door for steve and he was like it's not flush so [ __ ] garbage [Music] when was that that was forever ago and i said because of it what he like he put his heart in solid dude i spent like 30 45 minutes wiring that and you walked up and you're like it's not flush and you just like started breaking it down yeah yeah that was like eight years ago and i felt like strangling and what's funny is brian didn't say a word and then like like forever later he brought it up because he used to remember the heartbreak like he did he could smell it on me that i was really pissed off great god they gave me a frighten really that was the second scary thing i've heard today oh yeah i i ca i can't my heart can't take sam might be able to breathe through that but i can't okay it took years of therapy for me to be able to like i mean you want you want to try to face him again yeah to face your abuser you know what i mean like it's i'm so bad with redstone dude you know what you're not bad at critiquing other people's redstone you want to catch a fish here where are you catch this one epic fish moment let's see if i can get him oh come on throw him back down now that's bass pro sam hold your shield up brian get down mine is up [ __ ] it this is i'm here for the picture i could just use tnt dude hop your fat face out of there this is a dangerous place come on dude see look what's happening oh my [ __ ] dude hop off the possibilities here dude okay [Music] do you have three paper i'm trying that's all i need get him out of here i'm not throwing anything down with [ __ ] looking at me what did i do get out get beyond dude don't make me pull out the diamond sword [Laughter] i left i left i left [Music] dude yeah stay on all fours stay on all fours [Laughter] well trained does she like does she like bones she loves bones all day oh oh she heard it let me find the bone i think anyone want a saddle [Music] yes [Music] stop stop with loose am i missing something here two bones at once [Music] how do i get my phone hey [ __ ] this [ __ ] head at you oh i'm sorry oh oh no oh no hold on i gotta go inside what a [ __ ] hound is my mom's name what did you do to it why is it like fighting you i tried to [ __ ] stuff a bone down it's through this [ __ ] thing out of my house could you push it stop that steve don't [ __ ] hit a dog your mom dude stop fighting over helen she would not launch she wouldn't want this go home steve she doesn't need you anymore yeah go home and let it be known that stall has her walking on all fours in his house good girl [Laughter] oh yeah i might too i'm gonna have to sue here down there it's a creeper so much for the natural look i did it for the meme i didn't fall into a creeper jamie lannister over here now yo rave guys radio i got some glow sticks i brought some gold sticks guys there you go guys yeah [Music] here it comes ready [Applause] dude i'd like to see skrillex drop the bass that hard all right this song [ __ ] thumps dude dude it is it is [ __ ] pounding right now holy [ __ ] [Music] no multitasking while listening to maul what the [ __ ] is wrong with it dude did you just whip out your diamond sword holy [ __ ] [Applause] i came at him with that gg yes yes steve steve come look at this damn straight cold blooded hey you put steve you put that away [Music] is yours glowing no i can still shove it up your [ __ ] you shoved it up my horse's [ __ ] one more time you're going off that [ __ ] cliff oh my god look at my help oh my god oh that was not worth it at all yeah it's rewind time let me ask you this did your dick get hard [Music] and i got a bunch of nether quartz what can this be used for uh you can combine that into another brick i'm gonna take that off your hand blocks and it's like pure white blocks oh what what have you done what just happened oh my god what just happened the [ __ ] creeper why was there a creeper in my house what okay you know if you didn't come in here for your [ __ ] five finger discount i wouldn't have had that problem oh i see that little [ __ ] oh oh god i'm gonna die oh my god what are you doing you're like going through heck okay it's not even moving towards you i didn't know dude i don't know how lava works okay [Music] ah [Music] check oh out

Channel: General Sam

Views: 1,825,907

Rating: 4.952466 out of 5

Keywords: Minecraft, funny, general sam, clips, new, 2019

Id: A2oue2p4P8Q

Length: 24min 5sec (1445 seconds)

Published: Wed Mar 20 2019