Poker Gave Me Cowboy Drip 💦🤠

you're probably wondering how a little old [ __ ] like me got this cowboy trick going on last time you heard me I was probably showing you how to make a buck or two catching salmon by the creek and back then I look like I took style tips from that guy that slams his own sister and her meat wallet yeah but look at me now looking like a crisp $10 bill new boot goofin all thanks to them poker tables they added down at the salad finally something to make me want to go to armadillo besides my deep passion for contracting cholera and scarlet fever now I ain't saying poker is more fun than whoring but let's be honest here there's several dozen men coming in and out of this establishment and only three prostitutes if that ain't a recipe for pickled penis I don't know what is so in this case and only this case poker is safer and certainly more profitable than whoring give it here even a year money guys face yeah what you're gonna pick like a funny guy or anything you're just it looks like you spent zero effort okay well yeah I'm sorry I did it might look makefile guy look like a [ __ ] crazy homeless guy all right so what is it what does calling do like calling his you go 18 cents yeah I know but what's the point doing a second rat I lied about that Oh second what did you have three kings oh wait I want oh please Kansas [ __ ] oh yeah baby maybe buy you some a [ __ ] shirt oh your suspenders oh that was way too much money I just went up once on the left thing and if ia like crank that [ __ ] 11 muscle you give me a little [ __ ] you're gonna fold your butt Hey folded your $2 yeah we what are you rich I'm not two in this man's whole career for five oh my god hey anyway all Isaac well I don't you monkey with you disarmed you family buy some [ __ ] stuffs for your [ __ ] fingerless gloves alright Sam here turn me buddy hey with Sam has the car they just put this [ __ ] homeless stink on it yeah he's like typhoid fever how much how much I owe money did you spend on that [ __ ] poncho don't lie to me it doesn't even cost gold oh yeah all right go look at it like they would even add anything to this chair I was sitting there so pissed off I was like they haven't done a damn thing to read that online and then I go look at the catalogue and they're selling like it's like a paper doll simulator anybody have a king why would we tell you if we had a cake maybe you thought were playing go fish [ __ ] [ __ ] things to come out the community cards no you can't call me down enough to buy a [ __ ] a large coke McDonald can't even get a [ __ ] chicken sandwich response do you make fun of my hat but keep in mind you don't even have a [ __ ] hat your hat list alright how much money does Brian have mr. [ __ ] dirty fingers your hat now I must have fallen off I was [ __ ] your mom with all my extra money are you and your sisters boots look at those that lace up all the way to your name you got like a hooker shoes on that [ __ ] need even [ __ ] what's this [ __ ] creep doing dude you watching us play poker you only piece of [ __ ] no he's looking away now yeah DD's my hottyz manspreading right behind me I stole the pie 12 cents what did you have I can buy a wedge of cheese with this down at the general store in a strong hand I would have gone with the max bed anyways later on you may want to go find your [ __ ] Hank and sell it I accidentally got dealt a bunch of [ __ ] Pokemon energy gonna back down from from man where don't like an alligator jacket Crocodile Dundee over there no stupid things no simple don't blow it I've mastered the digital poker face muzzle you got air on I'm gonna throw another four cents down there's more where that came from telling what you get you know what I do I'm not gonna [ __ ] match that bet not again I'm doing it I want to 3-2 is your [ __ ] oh wait daddy's got himself a new fishing rod yeah I got a pair of two's gonna have to get the lay in the big beds here's six cents that you can fix you're my little [ __ ] you've just been a [ __ ] it you just been folding every hand shut the [ __ ] up because I'm not a psycho don't even open your [ __ ] dumb mouth Hey oh I have doubled your money sir folds a lot yeah you got it from one hand where everybody was going buck wild I keep it simple kappa money all right and i don't blow it oh yeah daddy's buying him a new bottle of jitters down at the general store i finally afford a new saddle for abigail Shapiro just feed Sam huh yep [Music] that fishing pole I got now I just got me a river lure to go with it oh yeah you got a fly on you by the way still in the pot and this game is it's a good thing but still in the pot in Oakland we'll get you [ __ ] stabbed in an alleyway okay Sam coming in with that pair of two's I don't like that you guys kept betting after I told you my god hand for that ace that is getting them a new can of corn to put on his fishing pole yeah can't would you put again Wow somebody hasn't been fishing for trout recently Jesus Christ you had a lot you have less money than you did the last time you said you're buying a lure like you got like three dollars really I'll get a little low or a day I can afford a liver now I gotta get a fan candy corn you can't afford the lure you lost money knock you back you know I know that's why I'm going for the candy corn you know damn well I ain't yelling have two pairs of hands and dates but you about to be cuz you know I hate yellow and ice you fit I'm gonna [ __ ] bed the very next day I took my earnings and I said god damn it ain't gonna live my life fishing down by the creek I need to roll my earnings into making an intimidating facade to wage psychological warfare on my poker opponents dressed head-to-toe in my new digs I headed on in the valley and to play some more poker you should have seen the women snapping at the neck as I drip my way down Main Street I'm gonna up that to the new digs give me total confidence at the table did you see what I do with my earnings do I look good [ __ ] terrifies me oh yeah how the [ __ ] ace high diamond flushy little jive building guy with a hat this [ __ ] loud not know what's going on in this stable absolute now what uh what muscle taught us yesterday or two days ago three days ago is that sometimes would be when you have a really good hand you should fold so people don't really know what you're up to you know that's that way that way you don't fold on bad hands only you know so if you ever come across like a Royal Flush just fold show us who's this [ __ ] loser across the table for me [ __ ] is that guy nobody here it's just viola she and Sam and you know there is a car seat he's got his grey goatee a stupid hat in a weird best you ever seen a beautiful mind with Russell Crowe I have it's a great movie yeah I feel like you're suffering from that but - the smart just take all the weight do you seriously not see this [ __ ] guy sitting here it's just us yeah I cannot get money what's going on here's no one sitting there cuz there's nobody there's nobody throwing cards in it's just me and you're waiting to join in are you serious there's definitely a guy here no I believe you because I don't even see him on the side window oh now I got some cards that is some smart gameplay right there he's a merciful Lord if I can get a three if I can get a three I can like play two hands and then I get kicked out yeah you took your [ __ ] and left alright now we can finally admit that there is less she's friend at the table c-d-c my god hand do you see my god hand read them and weep aqua always has like the weirdest problems I do or not just this game in in like computer problems game [ __ ] they anything honcho technology in general yeah just just completely unknown issues that I have no idea how to fix just an old man in a young did the Internet telephony you know wait Oh [ __ ] big ant McGee you know what if you wanna be success one must always have to you're gonna catch me at the end of this of walking down Valentine like when Kramer had the pimp coat [Music] new boot goofin

Channel: General Sam

Views: 1,186,962

Keywords: red dead online, rdr2, online, poker, gameplay, funny, moments, general sam, how to, money, gold, satire, memes

Id: lIZmqPv9G7A

Length: 14min 33sec (873 seconds)

Published: Fri May 24 2019