The Virgin Human vs. the Chad Skeleton

remember my last kimchi video where I tried to destroy the stupid Akron n cells with the power of alcohol while they put up with me and my crew until we recruited a couple skeletons to help fill the fields you see in kimchi skeletons aren't those creatures hiding under the skin of every human in this game skeletons are the reason your father started drinking heavily after the divorce skeletons are distilled testosterone raw sexual energy given form and to be honest I understand why those are kunai hate them with a passion they're jealous skeletons are everything those ocker knights could never be they don't require food they don't need sleep they never need to fear cannibals because you can't eat the beautiful metal alloy chatbot of a skeleton they don't need weapons because their entire body is a weapon they don't require beds because they only sleep when they're done killing which is never the Aqua night's prey to a chauvinistic dog and to be honest they should just be praying to skeletons man they're indifferent women in a way okra Knights could never be they don't even have penises women aren't even something to be desired they're literally worthless to a skeleton skeletons are focused on one thing and one thing only punching people in the throat with their metal [ __ ] fists what's more Chad like than that to get the Aqua Knights back for their prior transgressions I'm creating a kill squad the likes of which have never been seen before on kimchee a squad entirely made up of skeletons I called them the Chad BOTS in order to [ __ ] those in so okra Knights into the dirt I gotta train their strength I gotta hone their reflexes I got a tournament of martial art gods because by the end of this the holy nation won't be praying in fear to Ocwen they'll be cowering and pleading for their life chatbots don't run go fist them into the [ __ ] dirt those of you asking if this game is good only a good game could inspire such a vengeful quest only a good game could beat me like an ugly housewife only to have me come crawling back because I can assure you I wouldn't put up with this [ __ ] if this wasn't a good game this this is kimchi well just cuz I got some robot boys all of a sudden like the holy nation attacks in mass alright [ __ ] this guy named rage quit I'm starting a new game alright [ __ ] in cells of aqua and they won they won your [ __ ] [ __ ] you're not a chatty until you're not a chatter you're not a comment like a phoenix bigger than ever you're a Chen you just squish you to have your girl's stolen in this case the girls your city stolen by in cells have you seen that starter thing where you get like five people you just down the middle nowhere they're all skeletons Chad bot Brad bought chat bot and Trent Lott and then and then I got one talked to the traders and he's just his name's trader Dave and he's a human what's Stobbe well as soon as i spawn in there's just now these aren't skeletons I'm sorry I thought they were and they're beating the [ __ ] out of trader Dave his arms already shattered and everybody else is just running for the hills trader Dave is gone all he gots the Chad buds oh I found the crab people you were talking about oh wait they're not friendly I'm [ __ ] four minutes into my game and chatbots in prison chat BOTS enslave trend BOTS enslaved trader Dave's dead and Brad bot is on a beach he got picked to death by a [ __ ] crab look Angie yeah I didn't [ __ ] all I did was walk 20 feet his rewind time so I'm pretty sure that the starving bandits won't even attack skeletons unless you know they're part of the squad with a human well I got trader Dave probably changes made the trader dragging you down I should change his name to foodless Dave they would never attack a man named foodless Dave AIDS Dave hepatitis C Dave and never think about trader dave has been enslaved how he's shutting down the road with trader Dave over his shoulder uh-huh rewind time know I'm being eaten alive what the [ __ ] trader dave has died from blood loss David does recruit a random human rename them trader Dave no trader Dave to trade estar with trade Dave yeah I was traded babe well trader Dave's dead oh [ __ ] bot dead what happened I don't know about him he just see just he gave up I guess oh I found robots to replace Trent bot what's a good like what's a good like [ __ ] douche bag eternity name Kyle's cool as [ __ ] drillers has been enslaved in the border zone I'm right here outside Quinn or whatever squid and they did they just walked away with them no just some random people [Laughter] somebody issuing an alert for Trent bot oh [ __ ] I found another skeleton what's another good look anyway away most douche bag Dave I love Chad black red - Chris Brandon guy guy Lake Brody and Justin like Mike there's Mike Zack Chaz we should have been chairs alright it's been several hours from the last update come on side the city of squint I kind of a gross name be honest I've made another little town get this look at these guys working away yeah well I got my Chad BOTS a little robot buddies the squad so to speak the alphas of the wasteland working away tirelessly day in day out you're getting stoned we're getting ironed we're getting copper and I'm going to make a kill squad that is going to take out those [ __ ] filthy in cells that drove me out of my previous camp by god I'm gonna do it I don't care what it takes you take my word for it right now right here I am going to destroy them how currently I'm in the board alright Akron's pride is directly north of me and that's where that previous city was right about here it doesn't matter what happens these guys they get attacked you gotta use pull out the old Phillips head start working away on him I don't have to it's not like those [ __ ] horrible humans I was dealing with before that we just they were all I got my leg cut off now I can't walk but these robots you just screw it back on dude they are the alphas of the wasteland cranking away what's that what's that bar at the bottom what does it say hunger and then a - it's almost like hunger doesn't [ __ ] matter oh this is coming along nicely look at this I got a copper deposit inside my my walls I got to build these [ __ ] walls that's gonna take me like all day but that doesn't matter because uh you know I'll just ignore my daughter for like the rest of the night and start why is this take so long this game is the biggest time waster I'm spending I've spent like two days just trying to beat up a couple digital in cells they just pissed me off so much you know they just they just [ __ ] pissed me okay interesting idea because I can't seem to find more skeletons out there right perhaps I'll make a feudal hierarchy where the skeletons are the cream of the crop they're the top dogs their role is to purely become chiseled veterans of hand-to-hand combat and then I will recruit people like this to be my mining [ __ ] alright so this one's instead of Ruka you're gonna be renamed to mining [ __ ] alright for the past like 10 days there had there's been like 20 of these ninja guys just hanging out in my house they have been all over the place so I had to hire two groups of mercenaries to to whoop their ass look even with my mercenaries there's like too many of them this is our oh there's beating the [ __ ] out of Blake bot wait have they claimed my place as their own look they're carrying my people out and chucking us on the ground you know eventually they did kill every single ninja in here and I ended up getting a lot of samurai swords because of it which is pretty cool but also is pretty cool is that I didn't have any fatalities believe it or not mining [ __ ] is still alive this doesn't exactly look like a picture of health to me all right buddy now that I got 10,000 bucks from selling all these stupid things I can purchase you six thousand cats you're hired your new name wait no Chad spot I think Chad's BOTS died Chaz BOTS - this lady wants to be an honored warrior among my people well that's not gonna happen because you're mining [ __ ] for ya pump that iron dick get that strength up yeah I've been playing this game so long my voice is [ __ ] I like I not from the game I mean I got sick I got robots with sparring partners and they're gonna sit inside these little shacks and beat the [ __ ] out of each other using hand-to-hand combat this will get their martial arts skills up really high and they will they're gonna do that when they get out they're gonna be Bruce Lee's but in robot form this is taking forever imagine this from like the prisoners side you're it you live day and night in a cage and then every couple days they drag you out these giant metal robot guys beat the [ __ ] out of you and then they after your legs and arms are broken they throw you back in the cage and heal you up and when you're back to fighting form they just bake up and start doing Swan kicks and [ __ ] breaking your arms again look at this guy this guy knows what's coming over he's like dear Lord how do I get out of here get up you son of a [ __ ] I know you're playing dead come get your beating at the hands of Chazz bot show that [ __ ] boss [ __ ] mob ah he doesn't know what to do double fall double flying kick Oh [ __ ] dear God I don't even know if I can beat these guys I'm gonna need everybody in here okay I think what I need to do is just set everybody to block and then and then I'm gonna let my turret guys do this oh my god they actually wiped him out look at all of them Oh mom mom get the camera ma what are you doing oh he's acting like he wasn't picking that lock I know that's what you were doing his hands were jingle jostling at the lock oh my God look at him these guys are so [ __ ] bad-ass a couple again I'm sitting in the background dude the Chad bots are on another level of coolness alright while I was in town I actually found the map it has engineers we have glorious holy map right click to learn the new map locations for all the cities of Akron that includes their holy farms their holy military bases their holy mines and bad teeth I don't know if that's a town name or if or if I'll just know where everybody is that has beds I think I should probably attack a holy mine just to see you know if I got what it takes oh here we go alright this is an actual fight the holy nation are now hostile toward they were hostile from the get-go don't even act like they weren't we just destroyed those in cells like it was nothing did you see that hey this one goes out to our Ocwen boys they fought valiantly you know if you sympathize with them and/or are an in so your self feel free to purchase this beautiful shirt from the shadow scheme located in the description it'll keep your penis dry and miles from any vagina or your money back the shekel scheme really I spent all this time lock-picking a chest and it's just full of Bibles the little boy that got dismembered by skeletons the number one best-selling children's book of today little Timmy like climbing trees and playing hide and seek with his friends but he always skipped on his prayers then Timmy met his first skeleton I'm stealing these the Masters are dead you're goddamn right they are pick those locks buddy get out of there and be somebody go start up a nice flower business like you've always wanted all right so I got a couple escaped slaves that are now just they're not mine but they're following me one of them has a really cool mustache well that was easy that entire place just got wiped out like it was nothing mmm I'm in the belly of the beast now who are these guys Caravan guard for the holy nation in other words free [ __ ] for me once they start kicking dude it is all over by the way you see all that blood yeah robots don't bleed like it was nothing the entire Caravan she's gone I sucked - holy mines and one trading caravan now I'm gonna go I know this isn't gonna work but I'm gonna go see what bad teeth is and I'm gonna save before I get there and I'm gonna see if I can take on a town pets the town dude I found a couple uh-oh they raised the alarm already that's not good okay these guys might be harder asses and I thought four or five oh all of them knocked out move they're carrying us away [Music] okay I might have to reload on that one yeah after that monumental failure I talked to some people in the discord that play this game and this guy told me he just sent me a map as I hey what I'm doing is I'm sitting to a place that has something that might help you on your journey to this place right here it's not far from Skinner's room and Hawkins pride oh it's a place called labs what the [ __ ] oh my god is this what I wanted look at all these skeletons they just called me master oh my they're called the broken ones in not only was this place full of the super expensive stuff but now I got like Chad bot squad mm it's like a goddamn it's like a wacko rabid dogs oh Jesus they viciously kill everything in sight and I can't really control them oh don't worry don't worry I got plenty of robot repair kits I will repair everybody everybody will be fixed okay this is it dude we there's no way we can lose now really I can pick it up on my back Jesus Christ how [ __ ] strong are these things so I had to test out this army you know so I found a big roaming band of starving bandits and yeah they're pretty good it's the slobber hey you have a chance or last time I got my ass kicked over here at the front but this time I'm going in through the back you know what I'm saying that a little tight entrance a little bit smaller it's their worst nightmare you [ __ ] bible thumpers Jesus Christ okay these guys get away lon buy a bunch of sexy skeletons [Music] [Music] oh yeah this a letter from a freedom fighter sister foo which by the way sister foo is the lady that I recruited in the bar who I've now renamed a mule and all she does is she just carries stuff for me you don't even have a name anymore or a sister you must move quickly rented was perched in the town square today for being without an escort in the night they're onto us they know about our meetings the Inquisitor will be carrying out a search at dusk away from me at our place outside the city walls it's time Oh apparently they were they were having some sort of resistance coup well I kind of [ __ ] forward to that because I killed her sister and then I renamed her mule oh this guy's C Inquisitor he's the top guy in the old place Jesus good no wonder he's whooping everybody's ass oh they got him destroy him actually no no I'm sorry I want you to do first aid on this guy make sure he's not gonna die and the Inquisitor is gonna be my new [ __ ] kidnap him I got the leader of this of this city this Akron City he is now gonna be my sparring partner there she is and here's my invading party not quite as big as the one that took out the other place but uh you know I'm gonna have to make do so don't talk [ __ ] problem blister he'll mmm I think is the seat of the entire holy nation and they it's kind of like a city that has another military city within it so anyways I'm gonna try to draw on that a little bit and I'm definitely gonna save before this cuz this is gonna be a one rough fight twelve seconds late oh no no I've been kidnapped Kyle bot and Chet Potts been kidnapped oh okay this this might not be going the way I thought it was gonna go Brad bought get your fat ass in there oh my god my skeletons are getting outnumbered what the hell dude Dave there are so many what what for wondering why I'm in the middle of the desert I did that tester attack again shot against blister hill and ended up dying and so then I restarted and went to I was passing by one of those holy farms and there was like three roaming bands of holy nation paladins they came together and killed all those little robots that were following me so now I have no chance of taking blister ill unless I have an alternative and thankfully I do have a [ __ ] alternative I got the Chad crabs [Music]

Channel: General Sam

Views: 1,088,524

Rating: 4.939404 out of 5

Keywords: kenshi, funny, gameplay, moments, skeletons, okran, general sam, holy nation, kenshi gameplay, kenshi lets play

Id: npDHj8wmWNs

Length: 21min 23sec (1283 seconds)

Published: Wed May 08 2019