Best of the Worst: Plinketto #5

[Music] Hey hi I noticed no rich today do you know where you went to always dead this looks like an amazing Lincoln aboard I am super excited for all of this so many great films today listen let's go through the films on the point get on board today the first film is called a gnome named norm oh okay uh Anthony Michael Hall and old gnome from outer space nice also known by its French version oh yeah space cop what's next next on the board back again twin dragon encounters starring twin martial arts masters that's right are they really twins or I believe I believe Michael and Martin McNamara yeah and you found this at a thrift store in Bangkok right it was it was a secondhand store in Canada okay that's pretty close after that's a mainstay on the fling kettle board which apparently can't be removed it's Deathstalker - we have to see the whole series I haven't seen the first one I don't know why - is here [ __ ] I'll do a quick recap if we land on it okay everyone gets raped so it's a film about Hollywood next next is metal beast DNA overload oh I'm sorry project metal beast DNA over a DNA overload isn't that the louis c.k story oh yeah Matt what's metal beast DNA overload about probably a monster right probably so a film about Harvey Weinstein Hollywood our next film is called nail gun massacre all of these I want so many people dead with nails in their eyeballs or other holes in their body yeah I mean there hasn't been a really good horror film about someone killing people with a nail gun and this is it probably next we got Amazon's we got sexy ladies we got lightsabers in princess warrior the next film is called vibrations starring Michael J Fox no cuz he's in the film oh he's he's listed on the box oh wait sorry it says James Marshall and my glasses on I wasn't making a joke about a deadly disease if you think I'm some kind of [ __ ] [ __ ] up next is [ __ ] 2z or what is probably Crips from the Crips with a little hip-hop flair to it Crips terror under the hood not the car yeah I was gonna say the neighbor and then yeah neighborhood it's gonna say that sounds like a motive problem our next film is called slippahs slippahs and i'm particularly excited about this one the font is very 80s it looks like Masters of the Universe and or like like a Hasbro toy or something from the 80s and then there's a monster on there kind of looks like that kind of looks like Creature from the Black Lagoon it looks like that's been juice it looks like a jack to Zack yeah and what does it say hell hath no fury like slit this occasion I don't see a female Oh [Music] Slithe is hell hath no fury like a slither scorned so our last film is bio kids 5 super heros their little kid Power Rangers and it looks like they fight or befriend a clown look at it up close is it a secret Asian man I think it's a film from China or maybe Japan yes it looks - that looks to be the case I'm very excited about this as a big fan of Power Rangers I'm excited to see the expanded universe well I'm very excited to see what tape we land on in this first plink a toe drop go ahead Mike all right here we go everybody I'm gonna walk around to the back of the device now yep here we go film of the day what the [ __ ] it is nail gun massacre 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 3 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 well I nailed it it's cheaper than a chainsaw on the nail gun massacre a VHS tape that once belonged to Cheryl she marked it with her name well he got a man but he stole her taped it the the the dorm the college dorm she stayed in they had several copies of nail gun massacres but that was very Cheryl's and then there's a pun here a very penetrating story so this may have some comedic edge to it hopefully forget about that guy with the chainsaw he's out of here and start worrying about the deranged nail gun killer a beautiful young girl is brutally gang-raped [ __ ] sake by construction workers at a building site in a small Texas town looks like a mad lib suddenly mutilated bodies begin turning up nailed up nailed to trees nailed to pavement nailed to each other now it sounds like dr. Seuss the nail-gun maniac is deadly and no one knows who he'll hammer down next hammer nails that kind of [ __ ] about who he'll nail next there's a lot of nails they got buried up a little bit it's a piercing no holes barred trip into industrial-strength horror several puns going on there all you can hope for in this kind of premise driven slasher flick is interesting deaths yeah well let's go find out it's time to watch the nail gun massacre it's pom pom pom looking there's gaff tape over the why would they do that reflection maybe um they had to keep a little bit social in the dick penis back [Applause] [Music] Wenonah 169 do you remember when you could sit outside and not worry about the mosquitoes and the killer's dollar [Laughter] wild butterflies in these parts well when I was a girl they just came through in droves okay two things people worried about in this town both heaters and kills eaters and killers oh there's massacred the pool oh why why this guy Oh the secret selling point that's a good dad yeah I like that the steak sacred diamond we just saw a movie we sure did we absolutely did now we're back here to film the ball drop go ahead oh gosh oh thank you thank you for it look that's very nice of you I know what's up okay I can get it okay here we go this is how this works you drop the ball we choose a movie Wow Deathstalker to his battle isn't over yet because there's a - oh I used to remember what happened to Deathstalker one rape besides that whimsical rape okay puppet guy all right twice the action twice the passion twice the adventure and yet it's only 85 minutes long perfect it seems crazy Monique Gabriel a sexy star of a bachelor party hot moves and Flashdance and John Terlet ski star of secret admirer and the all-nighter and shopping mall tiny thanks for shopping mall he is Deathstalker join forces to swashbuckle their way to save civilization in this outrageous sequel to death stalker bah-bah-bah enter death stalker capturing the real princess Evie not the evil one he must now return her to a rightful place of power but the fabled swordsmen battle has just begun standing in this way our cutthroat pirates bloodthirsty Amazons flesh-eating zombies and then things start to get dangerous finally they confront the sinister power mongers of the spectacular duel to the death so wait this movie involves another sore that's all yeah like I can't say I'm shocked by that getting to get a new premise that soccers listen but here's the thing when the Warlord's fall Deathstalker will be king so we don't have to watch the movie we can just we were done all right even after all that I guess we have to watch it so let's go do that great walking to watch the movie guys guys I'm not dead it was just insurance fraud look at that did they rape yet which way o mighty Oracle why did they call you the Prince of Thieves cuz I steal [ __ ] which way the West Road sure absolutely she's so bad he looks like he's having fun though she looks like it's trying it was just goofing off yes that's his problem he's goofing on no that's to the benefit of our viewing yeah you want a serious Deathstalker in this plot just for the guy from the first moves down yeah that's how they say it alright one against 100 make that two against a hundred kill them [Music] that was fine though it's laughable anytime yeah very interest is there another way in oh that was the weirdest hee ha joke I've ever seen well Jack it's occurred to me that you have never dropped the ball on the plain keto board and so here you go drop the ball yeah it's like this is gonna other than the bait and switch I'm gay already did that kind of drop the ball and this is gonna happen yes you're gonna drop the ball and we're gonna watch what movie it lands on no no jokes okay so you just put it anywhere just drop the ball let's how this works [Music] princess warrior god damn it jack that's like the worst one on the board Christ don't you know how this works drop the ball [ __ ] [ __ ] man all right Jack why don't you read the box for princess warrior I just I just dropped the ball like everyone everyone I know you dropped the ball princess warrior they fought for a kingdom there more than one princess warrior they fought for a kingdom on a planet far away a great Kingdom is ruled by a warrior queen who lies dying wait what Oh it's like she lies she's lying down dying yes she's not a queen that is lying while dying he'll die yeah okay so the Queen who's dying yeah in different states of standing and laying down yes her last act as Queen is to pass the ring of power to the oldest daughter not necessarily her oldest daughter just the oldest who's the oldest daughter on her planet right yes it's a whole lotta resistant I'm someone's daughter that's that's why the Queens keep dying while laying down the all elderly ladies here but the ring is passed to the gentle loving younger daughter Oh fuel I'm trying to figure out how to pronounce this OVU le it's a pretty on the nose name for princess warrior character and her sister labia s' as the Queen dies war erupts between the two sisters so obviously good sister bad sister yes and rages throughout the kingdom the good sister flees to safety to the planet Earth where she is pursued by a trio of evil courts so this is gonna be the typical 80s sci-fi plot where they're in a faraway fantasy world for five minutes and then they're just on earth because it's cheaper they're just in the California desert the rest of the movie maybe they go back at the very end possibly before ovulation us battle her sister to the death all right the princess warrior I'm super excited to watch this because it was my pick let's go all these good choices I wish wish Evans wasn't dead either through thin to the mine oh this is great look at that costume [ __ ] yeah on the outside [Applause] [Music] what the treble in these like who cares man oh my god I all spit out everything they have to be nudie rich in the Travel tube and they're gonna appear to wet t-shirt oh my god this is something else [Music] eczema mom come on when we started the discussion rich Evans was still alive oh it's true but any exploded so the first movie we watched was oh god yeah took control I don't want to talk about any of them the first movie watch was nail gun massacre hmm a genre slasher film and Josh yeah why don't you talk about nail gun massacre nail gun massacre is it would be considered like a normal slasher movie except that great swathes of plot have been just cut completely from the film yes we were reading the back and it said you know a woman gets gang-raped and then a nail gun killer takes revenge we didn't realize that those would be the first two scenes within 30 seconds or so it's just boom boom this is the movie just starts I need to stop buying movies did I buy you jump right into it whoa holy crap wait the movie Wow right into it even the filmmakers want to get it oh that's fair there's not even like a company logo Oh there's not even a trailers you put the tape in and it just fades up on gang-rape it started before we put the table the gang rape has just always been here but then right from there it cuts to the the terrible Don Dahler house where there's a guy just throwing shirts around yelling at his wife and then all of a sudden here's the nail gun massacre perpetrator walking in nail gun it away immediately so she takes off just like running and that's what rainy yes her baby died while she was running no she's shaken the baby know it oh they cut too if they cut too old lady Bailey running with the baby and she's going pretty slow and then they cut two feet running and it was going how do you say 10 times faster yeah yeah and that's the last we see with only old lady Bailey but it's not the last we hear motivation no she's mentioned throughout the film because they can shoot in her house yeah it's just in really a house it's it's more like the the most disgusting thing I've ever seen it's so it's like the shaft that a serial killer would take his victims to I think it was the directors house well let's let's focus on the gang ramp a little more because please no no I mean it's awful it's the central point of the movie and it's it's setup ineptly yeah that's the problem with nail gun massacre the only guy I remember thankfully was the very first victim hmm because they have a close-up of the lady's face and then the bald guy who is old man Bailey you he's like right by our face you come out honey pie I really don't see anybody you didn't really get to see anybody else there's other guys and they don't it's not like they sit around in a circle you know in in the construction house eating their lunch going you know what we should we should rape that lady well then then that lady comes by they have some sass with her and she's like you guys should we get to know all the introduced everybody maybe maybe every character has its own stick like old billy fishing pole is always fishing what you're describing is I Spit on Your Grave the most notorious rape revenge movie where you get to know the woman extensively you get to know all the rapists extensively before the rape happens the rape happens it's horrible there's a revenge so the nail gun perpetrator kills like the first three rapists like pretty quickly boom boom boom all on old lady Bailey's property and then all of a sudden other people start getting the nail gun treatment that we're not involved in the rape at all that's where it gets confusing that's the unnecessary complications yeah that's where I got super losses just like there's a hitchhiker who's got a bad attitude and that's what you get nailed to the road for that there's a lady that just wanted to buy a [ __ ] distributor cap over at the Napa and she gets killed we not even on screamed we don't even know why she's we know nothing about her trucker just radioed in there's a man nailed down to the highway about five miles from here follow me yeah her she ain't going nowhere besides ooh be here with all you are their goddamn bleep are you yo favorite all the side characters are great when we got to the second couple of people that get killed by the nail gun and perpetrator it's a couple of guys that go out there they're going out to take take down some wood with their chainsaw and they leave their pickup truck out on the road Oh or have a couple days well it's a truck all right [ __ ] I better go gotta go home in my civilian car cuz I've got a Ford police car hey I got me a pickup truck out you're on County Line Road couple days oh how could you indicate that for some reason he's the only he's like the only cop in the movie and the only other person he works with is the doctor in the town doctor Denham who he has to deputize and make him this year at Gannon maybe I'm the head candidate cook later in the film sorry to jump around he's by my side detective the doctor does more detective work than the police officer it's a long shot the final confrontation is the doctor and the bad guys chasing them as if he was a police officer so I assume at some point he was deputy and the doctor takes it upon himself to call another hospital and ask some probing questions like do detective work I put the information into my computer into by hi-tech 1984 computer to pull victims all with nails yeah solution enter nothing happened nothing happened so I called another hospital and asked them to input the information into their computer each chicken was a construction worker working on side and then it dawned on them at some point that half of the victims were also perpetrators of the gang rape that they apparently didn't do anything about this hour I have so many problems okay so like do you think that might be related to her story construction workers yes we found work for Mills construction company yes over half you can't tell me that's just for the context for our audience we should ignore spoilers that go straight to the heart of the matter because that is rape victim lady yeah who set up at the beginning immediately we see nail gun murderer and it's very clearly the stature of a woman the more shorter you know you know you can tell it's a lay you can see an hourglass figure in the the suit there is a bust there are hit your hips yeah and then and then when nail gun massacre or talks it's through like like a voice it sounds like Darth Vader yeah the point after it's like what when when Carrie Fisher is is in the in the hunter costume yeah this guy's her voice and that's what so it's okay that's the lady so it's a it's a red herring and it's a it's a it's a false false Road and it turns out she has a friend or lover and so so he's like he's like yeah I'll see you guys at old lady Bailey and then we don't see him again until the reveal at the end of the movie but in the middle of the movie that's a total giveaway we're like the least these couple people on the bike in the in the and the lady that's like very interested in county roads looking for some work oh yeah we don't know if there's work there but you can go out to old lady Bailey's house and maybe they're looking for work no no her house clearly needs work but they just take it upon themselves to say alright they're just gonna hire us because we want them to and then they get there and then they just set up a sex picnic perfect and the phrase it's a picnic that's just an excuse to have sex the motivation for Bubba is clearly misguided and vague the rape victim would make more sense yeah yes is she's so enraged and angry she just wants to revenge on the whole world because of what happened to work and she's salty on her own like when when yes the the the people that live in the old woman Bailey's cabin want to get some lumber in [ __ ] she's like hey you forgot your [ __ ] receipt you [ __ ] I [ __ ] hate you where are they getting lumber fix up old lady Bailey's house they went through that when they were eating dinner why are they fixing up a house today there's yeah wait a minute I see something about that set the plays of the male victim yeah is it I think so what's who or what was that I don't know when you're getting revenge for someone else and you're not directly emotionally connected to it you're a little more methodical I would imagine but as Bubba should have been and not just like killing some hitchhiker on the road and especially not murdering two poor women that were just wandered like why did he have them that's the most confusing one is Bubba Bubba happened to be a psychopath and also wanted revenge yeah I'm on Ray heading on this lake it's not just that he killed those women he killed them joyfully with one-liners and allowing like a maniac onliner exactly he's got one-liners throughout this whole [ __ ] movie for every last person he kills [Music] it's almost as if he wanted to be a killer just because he had all these sweet one-liners until he runs out they know that this lady was gang-raped yeah they didn't do anything about that they credited as town rumor oh is that what it was they say something like that like it's just the town rumor legend there's that scene where they say oh we should all these half of these victims are related to the sking rape we should go in an interview and question the rape victim and then we immediately cut to them like a bar drinking beers and they're like I I guess we just interviewed that rape victim yeah where was that scene she didn't show any sort of you know problems with being arranged like could we have seen it could that have been in the movie yeah it was it was methylene well there's two things that I wanted to point out one is the amazing performance by the girl left alone during the sex picnic this is this is a masterful long take some filmmakers you know like your Stanley Kubrick's or your Paul Thomas Anderson's they like to have the long take and it's her just losing your minds and then being comforted and then losing her mind again and it just goes on and on and she is she is trying so hard she does a really good job it's like they told a grown-up to to act like a five-year-old yeah now you've been left alone at the mall go this is your scene go she is giving 100% and you said you'd be back and you're not yet it's not quite right you said I could go but Lucy you're the boss [Music] [Music] freaked out that all of us made it into the movie I mean that is kind of her personality so it makes sense she drama [Laughter] [Music] just let you take your hands off her man what is clearly mental problem no she died all you can expect from a premise heavy horror movie like this is interesting kills with the nail gun you know much like much like a killer work oh yeah I know you you just want kills with workout equipment here you just want fun kills with the nail gun we don't even get that it's just nails well I think it's there's not much you can do you know what you know what you need a team of like like 25 writers and the writers are ruling okay what kind of like we come up with four on our dry erase board everybody think okay bring in 58 more writers there's like there's like a hundred and eight people in a room and they're all just like well what if what if no no no no that would be silly all of these are how about wait wait guys I have a great idea let's not make this movie that's out of the question it's a it's mid production J that's the best idea they could have had [Music] [Applause] the next movie we watched everyone was death and stalker to death soccer as well Deathstalker also I'll have my revenge and death stalker 200 J I know you're a big fan of the death of stalker series so if you could please describe for us Deathstalker - what was the plot of death stalker - well we have we have a new desk stalker who's played by tiny face from chopping mall yeah director of chopping mall and death stalker teams up with a woman who is clearly a professional actress it was very good she's very very good I think her lines are the best yes this is bad this is real bad the princess is being imprisoned by Jarek yeah she may be the best actress did she win an Academy Award eat [ __ ] Meryl Streep soccer - is where it's at she's the princess of some Kingdom but but her clone has taken place as the princess and she's like a peasant woman no no no there there there's mildly similar which means that you will confuse them endlessly well both had lightsabers at least I have that no I didn't know no both of their performances make this movie yeah a Deathstalker because that actor could not care less what I do a thing like that come on let's go find that horse and get the hell out of here and he is having fun and her because she is trying her hardest and failing as hard as anyone could possibly fail but I am a princess or I was jarek made a double of me put her on the throne and seized the kingdom it's amazing it's amazing so they team up to get back to her kingdom so that they can take down the clone her and the people that have put the clone version of her into power yes she's under the control of Jean Lazare from beyond the valley of the dolls this is his happening and it freaks him out exactly the evil sorcerer jerem but this is the the most amazing thing about this movie is that Deathstalker has grown as a character in the first movie he was a ok with rape here he's only kind of okay with punching women at first only when they deserve only when they deserve it it's ok with womanizing but not necessarily Rea not marry but the best thing about this movie is that there's no rape right you're the one that's gonna be sorry let's get there's some assaults so Louis also makes an attempt at rape there's a pinch of results try to rape the princess yeah it's shot very we actually liking it more into like a Three's Company where it's like it's shot yeah seventies flat it's it's yeah it's just this flat even lighting well the big like like the big day and night like shocker was that that big King Arthur's Court scene why yeah we're in in Deathstalker 1 it was it was like a horrible orgy yeah and and this one it was like the PG version of a xxx film it was like a children's television show it was shockingly different the only thing that looked Moody was when they cut the footage from the original Deathstalker [Laughter] the this almost seemed like a rebuttal to destacar one because part of the plot of the movie is Deathstalker having to answer for his crimes against women yeah your legend precedes you your exploits as a womanizer are well known in these parts well I am more of a lover than a fighter I hope not huh for some reason they had a wrestling ring Amazon's had a wrestling record a stick that's the thing that this whole movie is who cares yes this is the this is the lead actor saying who cares this is a [ __ ] movie this whole thing is dust darker one made some money let's slap together a sequel sure although that's fair though you can't use fists smear it with your whinny wrestlin Josh you one of the funnier moments during our screening was we someone said this feels like a Mel Brooks film because all right these are these are my hit men and it's like we're guys together the eye patch yeah dolly shot what one person next character [ __ ] shot yeah from this guy to this guy to this guy and then the last one is the comedy punch and you called it oh yeah yeah I've got just the butcher's to do it say hello to crazy out of Rheingold the math brush well he's the mad Russian Amorian massacre that killed hundreds analysis Mel Brooks movie yeah Mel Brooks Wheelan to Genghis Khan strike force part-time consultant to Attila the Hun next John the Baptist bunk Basso drownings is like the next one wearing all pink and flamboyant yeah the last one has to be a joke yeah possibly a little person and last but not least the real fine oh my god you're the real Sears it almost felt like a flat-out comedy yeah there were that was it was very self-aware the very beginning of the film we watched it and it was so bad that we thought they were gonna pull back to reveal a Hollywood set and that death soccer was just an actor like that scene in The Rocketeer [Music] would that you drink of my lips as deeply back the first position yeah when when so no and he's doing the swashbuckling like Errol Flynn kind of thing and they pull back to reveal that it's it's just a scene being shot in the Hollywood it's gonna be some weird another thing yeah yeah right and then so Deathstalker is just some Hollywood actor gets transported into a fantasy land stage nugs it feels like that yeah the yeah those look like like practice swords like they're fake yeah I'm rich you might be right yeah no I think this is the movie Wow the realization said in that that is the actual movie this is that they're watching we thought it was a recreation of a phony Hollywood production but it was real but we saw heavy influence from outside sources what was popular in the mid to late 80s yeah awesome was a it was a Raiders opening where he seals a jewel so very self-aware we cut to some Return of the Jedi being being carried into the Ewok village surprises some Oracle you turned out to be somehow I got the feeling that didn't help us very much on the six and in the the big net I don't suppose you guys are hunters and I stepped into your bear trap no I didn't think so yeah which may have actually been the exact same net that they bought at a flea market so Deathstalker goes in the mausoleum and the door closes on lady and then he talks to sorcerer yep and sorcerer says oh let me use my magic and that makes zombies come out of the graves I guess and also makes the mausoleum walls close in with spikes yep like I haven't seen that before a very similar film Goodfellas that's scene where Joe Pesci oh yeah he crushes his mafia opponent a wig maker yeah the wig maker he puts him in that thing and then you get them girls I hear some music statement and I'm really feeling this movie and it's logins to Zeus well there's a big battle at the annals let's talk about the big battle of the end a lot of lightning oh yeah that's never explained where did the light we're we were speculating that the Amazonians were were asking Zeus to help them but they weren't this is not over at all they weren't yeah but and they weren't technically Amazonians they were just like female warrior women now all right you just need just classroom as Amazonians because that's already used - my guess is that they had some pyrotechnics left over they were using them and then later on in post-production they said this is because this is the movie where the the band of bounty hunters were firing explosive arrows yes a Deathstalker and the lady on the horse so things were blowing obvious so we've established the production does have pyrotechnics and they they had some left over yeah yeah and so they're like put them in there they put them in there oh wait why are things blowing up I don't know we delayed it we didn't get any shots of archers with the exploding arrows damn it another thing after lunch they just forgot about it movie listen whatever we already blew up a little person one morning a lot yeah [Music] explode he just exploded yeah that's hilarious normal and first off the princess has to kill her evil twin and so there's a big scooby-doo thing where she's like dude and she stabbed her yeah oh oh you know I thought they're gonna do the switcheroo at the end Wow it's too clever not in this dead stalker yeah what was Derek's goal what was his Bing villain plot oh he wanted to retain control of the kingdom by making the evil princess stable and be able to kill the good princess because it was like I think we're like that one of them had that they both had to be alive and he was like I just needed making fun of his evil clone to retain the throne yes and retain power yeah it was like he just a couple more little formula he came up with the formula so the clone could live without the host that was when she stabbed the hipster yeah right oh yeah the whole hipster stabbing scene if you remember and the other the clone was still there just like I guess I'm just and that hipster with the little mustache right through his flannel and she hid she hid his LP that he just carried inside the stairs oh I was just gonna make a pour-over coffee very famous scene I'm curious to see where they go with the stalker 3 do they go back to the serious roots of the original film then they keep up with the who gives a [ __ ] attitude of the second movie why doesn't it get you excited I hope we never find out you know we know the rules of plane keto once one death stalker is removed now we gotta put three on there yeah you what's important for the people watching this at home it's been about an hour since we've talked about this talk or two we talked about all sorts of stuff we've had great conversations it had just a good time you're trying really hard and now we got to talk about princess warrior so Mike if you could what is the general plot of princess warrior please well it's a film that revolves around the low speed car chase and a wet t-shirt contest with with maybe five minutes of padding on either end all right good night everybody thanks Bruce thanks for watching the show yeah what do you think is best of the worst Oh [Laughter] [Music] [Music] princess warrior okay so it starts off with it with the cheap met painting of what looks like sheep II mean charming charming there it looks like they're on a moon it looks like a moon base it does it's like a leftover sci-fi art like they look like Greek gods they're dressed in that kind of garb sure why the goal the good people are yeah the good people the bad people are dressed in all black and leather and [ __ ] and it's well that's the bad the bad daughter there's a there's a queen who's laying on a sci-fi deathbed yeah yeah they have one marble column and a glowing like like spa but it's got its got fluorescent tubes in it it's cool better picking up on the mic [Music] [ __ ] a weird audio guy yeah there's like a cricket in the studio that's it it's on her audio only like when her track comes in my time is it a fuel you know what if you're on table oh that could be yeah every time a cup sewer the Queen has a tattoo or a birthmark of when she wants to psychically connect with her two daughters it glows the two daughters show up one is is a blonde woman in a white dress and she's the good daughter the other one is is a brunette in a black dress and she's the [ __ ] according to the mother yeah oh that's not even exaggerating she's just like you you're good you [ __ ] [ __ ] your [ __ ] hand and remember the evil daughter dressed in all black I mean the symbolism is rich the evil daughter comes to her mother from her disappointing male con Cuba oh yeah in princess basement satisfied I'm not people attempt to please me that I've ever experienced in my life you boys didn't [ __ ] me good they didn't [ __ ] good enough not only was she called a [ __ ] we know she's really this is a film about family okay so mother dying and then we are introduced to a technology of a pneumatic tube that will transport you to earth specifically to a sleazy bar that's having a wet t-shirt contest via pneumatic tools and conveniently you have to be naked it's like The Terminator that's a comical moment it's our lead actress she was a little you know she wasn't she was a few on nudity so she's covered herself but then we cut to all the bad women in the teleporter check about this like get up cut - and they're all just standing there after my sister and then bring us back safely when the time is right the on the sexiest nudity is just like yeah it's like it's like they're going into a doctor's office oh yes clinical yeah there is the tube this is all in the first five minutes of the movie yeah yeah when things are exciting the princess is going to escape I think she's escaping from the sister oh wait they have a lightsaber fight the important story point is the little sister who's good is promoted to Queen yes instead of that of older sister who is get bad which leads to a lightsaber fight yes [Music] [Music] a lightsaber fight in which we could see the edge of the frame and they had a colored layer behind the frame the color of the lightsaber and we saw in shots of the movie that the lightsaber that there's a couple shots where they forgot mahiette out and so we could see it was a green thing so they chroma keyed out the lightsaber but we could see the edge of the frame the color underneath that layer which maybe won't make any sense to anyone that doesn't edit it was it was like a pixel worth yeah it was it was bleed over from the VHS right burn something you would not see if you watch this on an old an old TV yes which which enlarge the image naturally and and in this in this shot they had a TV screen right very tiny in the back of the frame think of a legit we're definitely like like there are cameras in the scene going around the girls and and they wanted to establish that the things they were shooting were on the TV because that's important right sorry later comes up later with the detectives but but they had a hundred percent of the screen ten percent was was keyed out a little TV into real what is happening up there it's like nonsense oh you know what it is it's the full frame yeah but they didn't know how to shrink at the totally right it's awful they could key it behind I couldn't shake it listen okay you video nerds can talk about this all day long but the point is she gets transported to earth where there's a wet t-shirt contest oh wait there's a yeah she goes she's transported wait there was a wet t-shirt contest yes movie yeah I don't know if I placed it but it happened for 25 minutes I think I think I must have stepped out of the room for a minute and I missed it it's it's a wet it's honestly it's a wet sweatshirt content yeah because this shirt is so thick it never really gets so wet that it's transparent it really doesn't which is the point of a wet t-shirt contest it it gets slightly wet and this this is a book that oh yeah this is this this is a signifier of the inaptitude of the prop Department of this film the prop Department coincidentally is also the director and the editor and the writer of the phasor it's all the same guy he picked up a bunch of cheap sweatshirts at Walmart and he didn't realize he got the letter so it was like better win wet yeah and he just ironed them on himself the day before the shoot I like to picture that like him and his shitty apartment just like which because well see his apartment in the movie he's got he's got a sleeper sofa sofa bed yeah I have a bed the director of this film that's definitely his apartment what his mother no luck yes oh that makes it so much sadder to think that the director's mother helped him iron on the the letters first wet t-shirt contest point being we have this good 25-minute wet t-shirt see before the princess even gets there and Satan disgusting and embarrassing wet t-shirt see in this [ __ ] 20 minute chunk that happens the important things are there's a DJ at the bar there's a woman that shows up in the pneumatic tube she's from space they're a couple of students that run the bar all the rest of it is just filler yeah what what oh we ran into a brick wall fine keep your records they all suck anyway inexplicably the princess who shows up in the full like like all the way all the way down to the ankles t-shirt yeah that doesn't get wet immediately winds winds the gun I know I why are you out I don't want to be wet is not the director problem spray it down not here let me get them away yeah she won yeah see was because she stood there for five seconds she won but then did you tried to grope her and she kicked them in the nuts the the evil evil sister and her two henchmen yes her sister and her and her friends yeah are in the back of a shitty hoopty no it's a cop car Mike it's a cop car driven by Dale Jackson and and Ford Fairlane show up two or three times in front of the parts store to arrest Michael Keaton in the princess yeah they they got a permit to film on that corner and they're gonna use it goddamn it they're gonna use it between 1:00 a.m. and 6:00 a.m. yeah that's mistaken la 50% of their movie on this one corner I don't think it can be stressed hard enough that the main antagonist of this movie is in the back of a cop car for 80% of the media no sane anything no just there she's just chillin until eventually in at the end of the slow car chase the cops just plow into a pile of stones and fall asleep yes she's the one who wakes up first lucky her yeah Joe Piscopo quits his job to hang out with the alien girl but he's pretty sure that she's just crazy yeah and then they go to his apartment that's how what why you shooting at people what window do they jump through somewhere else but but he goes he goes oh you're a crazy person you belong in a crazy house with all these other crazy people but then oh then her crotch her tattoo glows and he oh not Ryan you're you're an alien no no Jay there's two frames where the where her tattoo glows yeah and then it cuts to them on a motorcycle they drive by II we don't even get that moment where he looks down and goes wait a minute maybe I'll check his darkroom maybe that whole crazy story just immediately understands like oh [ __ ] bye II thought everyone would get down to speed are you doing it oh oh so now he put later what what just happened God gets you glue and so he believed her like that like that that happened in one second and then and then the next 70 minutes of the movie is them running away from the cops and the cops somehow run it just like the Terminator except less sexy yeah you could do a side-by-side comparison of the video imagine that during screen that's very Terminator eyes it's similar it eventually leads to the warehouse fight between the two sisters [Music] [Music] on your planet where they're just beating the [ __ ] out of each other and then Joe Piscopo wanders up in another like 8 millimeter film and the Condorcet from the set of a 90s music video duh yeah man I'm Adam Randall the but this is a whole side thing outside of the warehouse like there's the inside of the warehouse shots yeah all the outside the warehouse shots with the two hench women via other cops other cops show up show up that seems like it's shot they finally call camera it just looks it looks a millimeter it looks shitty yes shittier than shocking there's no way this is 35 that had to be 16 but down from that I would actually appreciate this film or if it were just the set up to an orgy oh my god just murdered oh well oh okay did you murder them yeah and then the creams like hey Joe Piscopo take up all your clothes let's go to my planet well the weirdest thing is like they didn't frame the shop properly looks like she takes off her clothes but you know she's clearly wearing something to cover her nipples because she was embarrassed to be a part of this production sure um but they framed it in a way where it was visible so they just blurred it out it was so weird all I can say is a hundred percent agree with this actress I'm glad Jen exposed correctly last more a princess warrior and not worth it she's been coming in and out she looks pretty much like a [ __ ] she gonna be recitative of lesbian sex what is this there's being sex and then just 90 minutes of scissoring although although honestly like this is probably porn to somebody there's somebody out there that has four people sitting in the back seat of a car sure sure wait no that was a low speed motorcycle chases yeah there's somebody that has a fetish for heating up spoons you know Oh someone has torn two somebodies what I'm saying fetish for pneumatic tubes yeah yeah you know that's sexy Oh Mike you just gained a couple subscribe Oh [Laughter] okay so on what has been the low point for best of the worst I'm gonna say this this was the most confusing so Mike Oh God you just because you're closest to me I've been thinking about it what's the best the worst man I know you're gonna ask me that question and I mean that's the show so because it lacked the frustration of the first first one and the last one I I think I have to go with desktop or - I like the cavalier attitude of the the the actors ah [ __ ] it and and the director and the writer and everything about it yeah this I it's challenging like to discover what what their motive was and same with this yeah and so it's a really tough decision because nail gun massacre had some fun stuff in it and this had some fun stuff in it but I think overwhelmingly now that I think about it really hard if as you would if I were to pick the best of the worst it has to be death struck or - yeah it's a hard-fought battle but the Moose doesn't seem hard to me the thing that and you're probably gonna agree with me and longer but like the one that acted most like a movie that I could watch from beginning to end was desk talk or two but desk soccer - had all those things you look for in a what we call film it's a movie these these I'm not really sure yeah I don't know what they are I'm not really sure what they are they're like I feel like a doctor looking at a lump yeah I gotta send this off to the lab the stalker - it was legitimately entertaining it was fun I enjoyed watching it was like death sucker - for me is winner by default it would not win any other night either I I what I would legitimately watch that sucker - I agree wins the night but it's just that side of like were also in its riding the line I would love to offer up to the table a destruction of princess warrior yes please yes and I feel like it needs a actual destruction for people to see because there were so much nothing it wasted our time let's take princess warrior and destroy the [ __ ] out of it well we've decided to murder princess warrior using weapons from the other films we watched I've got a nail gun and it sucked up to a compressor that is way too large for this sized nail gun for maximum violence here we go Jay what did they fight for they fought for a kingdom not anymore I want to shoot one from a distance I've never done that with a nail gun okay I have no idea about the safety of it okay let me stop my shut up okay now swords were featured prominently in Deathstalker - and I happen to have a sword right here it's not the right kind of sword but it'll do [Music] [Music]

Channel: RedLetterMedia

Views: 2,250,333

Rating: 4.906076 out of 5

Keywords: redlettermedia, red letter media, red, letter, media, plinkett, half in the bag, mike stoklasa, jay bauman, rich evans, plinketto, deathstalker, princess warrior, nailgun

Id: I1dxYbL-t5c

Length: 68min 4sec (4084 seconds)

Published: Mon Jan 22 2018

Reddit Comments

[u/DoctorCroooow]

Is this new thread replacing the first one?: https://www.reddit.com/r/RedLetterMedia/comments/7s85a5/best_of_the_worst_plinketto_5/

[u/SirBamboozled]

I am guessing they reuploaded it because of the frame glitches that were in the first one?

Also there was a really odd and out of place moment in the movie. There's a part where the video slowed down and a CGI Rich Evans came onto the screen and told me to butcher my wife in the bath tub? It didn't really fit with the context of the rest of the video, but since Princess warrior was in it, so I guess it made sense.

[u/BattleUpSaber]

Hopefully this special edition doesn't have any CGI dinosaurs walking past the screen.

[u/DrVagax]

How Jack slowly sinks behind the board really had me going

[u/whiteonyx981]

Deathstalker II actually looks kind of like a dumb, fun movie to watch. The guy playing Deathstalker looks like he's having fun and it's kind of charming in a way because of that. Also, the "I'll have my revenge, and Deathstalker too!" line is fucking amazing holy shit

[u/MukkyM1212]

I need them to watch Bio Kids!

[u/ForynGilnith]

In the original upload, the dead woman's bush around 29:58 wasn't censored.

My bet is they pulled the original video because of this. It's censored in the reupload.

[u/[deleted]]

I noticed Jay was very careful to make sure he didn't drive nails directly into either of the women on the cover of Princess Warrior.

[u/[deleted]]

Back when Mike was still doing wedding videos, he met my uncle a week before the big day to see the outdoor venue. Since my uncle was a photographer, they did a lot of shop talk while I just wandered around. Mike laid a blanket on the grass, which I thought was for a camera or something.

But he came back from his car with a bunch of macaroni salad and some sandwiches. "I made too much mac salad," he said, while doing that "whoopsies" pose. My uncle encouraged me to dig in and I'll admit it was tasty. "Gee, Mr. Mike, you are a great cook!" He just smiled at me and went back to talking about lighting with my uncle.

The sun started to get brighter and I felt sleepy from the food and the humidity. Suddenly, I realized Mike's hand was on my thigh. I was about to say something, but Mike put his finger to his lips and went "shuuuuuuush" real slow and sultry. He winked at my uncle, who said "thank Mr. Mike for his macaroni salad."

Anyway, that was my first sex picnic.