Best of SUICIDE SQUAD | Brooklyn Nine-Nine

gentlemen may I present to you the Suicide Squad hang on our genius you want us your enemies to help you bring down Commissioner Kelly you guys consider me your enemy your some of my best friends we haven't talked to you in like three years CJ wait yeah I'm thinking of different guys uh Raymond hey you came to me to ask for help shows how much you've matured you know it all shows how much you matured you with a face no I know why you referred to this as a suicide squad Peralta because I already want to kill myself why don't you wait a week you probably died of old age the only way I'm gonna die as if you touch me with one of your bony fingers and drag me across the river Styx rebirth a wonderful very creative look John Kelly has to be stopped he's spying on civilians that's unconstitutional and it's wrong please do you think any one of these jackals cares about what's right or wrong I'll help see sir there is good in every person I want to be known as for selfish reasons why would you want that to be now because I never miss CJ before and I want to think that I'm cool it's working I mean I love how you're taking over the room you know I actually wouldn't mind getting rid of John Kelly either and that guy makes up so many dumb rules he told me I couldn't eat raw chicken and you think a new Commissioner yeah he's already on board so yes the new Commissioner would let you eat raw chicken for whatever reason it's healthier it sure is CJ what do you hope to get out of this Madeline let me guess revenge on Dorothy for killing your sister I want the same as you Raymond I think what John Kelly is doing is terrible yes well said lunch so we're all on board this is exciting let's bring it in huh Suicide Squad on three ready one two I don't touch other dudes have this it is sticky it might be me I ate a popsicle early it's probably Madeline cockroaches release of mucus like secretion you would know about roaches you roach and three Suicide Squad so I'll coordinate with the transit cops while you follow up with the DA's open can I help you captain Stanley oh hey did you guys see a black backpack sitting around anywhere I don't know oh shoot you should turn out to be a real cluster Biff why what's in the backpack oh just some evidence do you guys know that drug dealer named Flaco oh yeah as a big-time supplier consolidated half the territory in Brooklyn well the bag belongs to one of his runners and it contains like a footballs worth of cocaine I'm not good with sizes and a cellphone and you think that the cellphone might have Intel that could lead us to Flaco I do now that's a great theory whoa but the bag is missing so hey how big of a deal is if I if I never find it I'd say sugarcoat it for me okay I'm no biggie ah that is great news thank you so much hey if you see something say something oh that is catchy huh it's like I just made up a hit song not very common police expression if you see something say something come on and party tonight this is our chance CJ can't find that evidence he could be fired this could be our way back onto the day shift come on and party tonight wow it's actually a really catchy song good morning yes ulta captain you're smiling it's very weird like seeing a turtle out of its shell I'm happy our Drug Task Force was a success and today I get to watch my nemesis madeline wuntch drape a medal around my neck also we clean up the streets yeah sure that's good too so I've been planning how to zing Madeline when she puts the medal on I have the perfect line once time is over so it's a play on lunchtime yes devastating burns sir but you know what would really show her is if you said nothing at all Oh interesting interesting laughs let Madeline know she's not even worth my staying up all night crafting zingers lunchtime took you all night trust me turn the other cheek which I recently learned is about faces and not butts but works either way yes I should be the bigger person shouldn't be hard given that methods not technically a person for meritorious service the NYPD bestows this award on detective Rosa Diaz Jake Peralta and captain Raymond Holt Raymond Madeline you want go ahead and gloat you toad thank you for this honor deputy chief no okay you're welcome once time is over no regrets I looked at the photos of your victim on your desk Bertha Doris head high puncture wounds are similar to a case I had a while back they aren't from a knife I think it's something spiral like a corkscrew don't shush me I'm helping you baby that was actually very helpful thank you oh you better get back here now oh hello Peralta oh no no why you're so upset man I'm the one who had to come into this backwater stink hole what's up little man what's up you feeling sexy huh yeah I feel sexy how you look sexy you know I do stuff for that door yo how much you bench seriously so this apartment will be our base for the duration of the mission thank you to the vulture for procuring it and I'll thank me thank my boy Billy said the place is mine while he's still in prison I thought what it sounds like his only crime was planning at kick-ass Music Festival are you friends with the fire festival guy best friends you got a bum rap you can learn about it when my documentary comes out it points all the blame where it clearly belongs with the island people wow so many levels of terrible they're all right we need to catch Kelly on the act of illegally spying so here's the plan we commit a fake crime so serious that he's forced to deploy the Stingray what kind of crime we're gonna kidnap a cop but not just any cop it needs to be someone so high ranking that it sends shockwaves through the system but not important enough that their absence negatively impacts the NYPD in any way are you guys thinking we're clearly all looking at you oh god am I in charge of the meeting dismissed dismissed no you're getting kidnapped CJ Amy Charles and I will be the kidnappers captain Holt is the driver here's how it'll go down broaching with dark and hairy let's do this masks on actually scratch that we're not gonna use ski masks we'll use cool rubber masks we should be the ladies of the First Wives Club I call key we're not gonna do First Wives Club masks it's because you can't be Keaton grow up Jay goo because they don't exist and also yeah Keaton is clearly the coolest one and I don't think it's really fair that you just called her don't forget it well we're scary gorilla masks approaching the dog okay let's do this masks on but cza goes to get his morning coffee we will arrive and grab him he will pretend to struggle just enough to attract attention we write this down so I remember my lines I can see that you already have the word milk written on your hand I know where this is going nope don't do that Madeline thank you for coming Raymond oh is the pleasure to call on a vanquished foe I feel like Jackie joyner-kersee congratulating one of the other slower runners buckle up it's gonna be a hell of a ride Curtis it I'm sure you'd like to take some weight off your cloven hooves calling me the devil how original Raymond actually I was calling you a goat the goat I'd like to talk about my promotion very well but first how do I know you're not wearing a wire I need to Pat you down if you must what is going on some watching something so here's how I see this going down you plead for your job back I refuse you start weeping like a war Widow does that sound about right don't count your gross fish babies before they're hatched Madeline how did you get this Terry got it you grackle it doesn't matter how I got it sorry sir didn't realize that was how you wanted to play it so you've got an audience for this little stunt yes well who wouldn't want to see a man fight a crocodile now Madeline before one of us starts weeping like a war Widow would you like to give me my precinct back it's not that simple I can't just reverse your promotion you have until tomorrow you grackle welcome Madeline have you thought things over I have but first how do I know you're not wearing a wire so I thought it over and perhaps you should go ahead and show that letter to the commissioner and let them fire you I'll deny I wrote it it will take months to authenticate which will give me plenty of time to make some personnel changes around here there's an opening for a detective down in Brighton Beach I think I'll transfer Diaz there it takes a boil I'll send a Long Island City Santiago will be a great fit for Pelham Bay and Peralta your little pet project I'm gonna ship him off to Staten Island I'll be like breaking up tanning salon fistfights looks like you've got a decision to make Raymond what are you gonna do there's a rumor the new captain will be here today now I don't know who wants you're sending us but it doesn't matter because we're family we're strong and together we can do anything night something dogs I mean your captain the vulture still hot now I know we have our history me vulturing your cases be telling you to eat my farts that's all in the past because now that I run this precinct things are gonna get much much worse so suck it [Music]

Channel: Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Views: 1,313,481

Keywords: Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Andy Samberg, Brooklyn 9 9, cops, sit-com, comedy, funny, Peralta, Santiago, Rosa, Terry Crews, Melissa Fumero, Chelsea Peretti, Stephanie Beatriz, Andre Braugher, Captain Holt, Detective, New Girl, Rosa Diaz, Hot Damn, suicide squad soundtrack, suicidé squad, suicide squad song, suicide squad full movie, suicide squad 2, brooklyn nine-nine backstreet boys, brooklyn nine-nine bloopers, brooklyn nine-nine trailer, brooklyn nine-nine funny moments

Id: YK73GYn2v2c

Length: 10min 4sec (604 seconds)

Published: Tue Sep 24 2019