Every Time Holt ROASTED Wuntch | Brooklyn Nine-Nine | Comedy Bites

hello Raymond captain wuntch good to see you but if you're here who's guarding Hades it's deputy chief wuntch now unsurprisingly I've been promoted above you and now I'm here to evaluate you we're having a brand he retired and moved to Charleston to be closer to his grandchildren so much for dying at your desk with a little dignity interesting I will attempt to cooperate with you under these new circumstances don't sweet-talk me halt I gave it my best shot let's begin spot checks are done needless to say I'm thoroughly underwhelmed huh from your expression I would guessed constipated or chilly what's amazing we got a task force more importantly once you got served oh my god once sounds like lunch now this opens up so many new avenues looks like we've both got a pretty bad case of jerk boss yes yours is an idiot and mine is a fork-tongued lizard which what about the time you destroyed my personnel file while I was undercover what if there been a mole you were trying to make me disappear you embarrassed me from Derek Jeter you embarrassed yourself in front of Derek Jeter you're like the League of Nations in 36 just hoping the Abyssinian crisis resolves itself that's the lesson you draw from the fall of Addis Ababa Raymond you sound so naive and you sound just like Victor Emmanuel the third I have no idea who's winning I am wuntch hello raymond you're looking old and sickly so nice of you to greet us Madeline I thought surely you'd still be crushed under that house in Munchkinland sticks and stones Raymond describing your breakfast sergeant as long as I'm asking for word madeline wuntch can say no to anything may I those are my tissues Raymond if you were planning on sneezing you should have brought your own sir she's a deputy teeth I'm sure she wants what's best for the community she doesn't care about the community she only cares about defeating me this is war sergeant the war on lunch oh good you've named it so I've been planning how to zing Madeline when she puts the medal on I have the perfect line once time is over so it's a play on lunchtime yes devastating burn sir hello deputy chief wuntch you've aged how'd it go with Miller fantastic you love me I would give you more details but someone just came in to try and find her Dalmatian coat hello Raymond Madeline I wondered why all the birds that suddenly stopped singing what brings you here I heard you were under investigation by internal affairs didn't want to miss that so much time with your here to the pavement it's a pity a truck hasn't run over your head ah there it is a shriveled husk of Raymond Holt look Gina is that a talking raisin enough foreplay wow you were right it was one mistake you think that semicolon was a mistake no it was a juicy piece of bait and she unhinged her jaw and swallowed it whole yes I should be the bigger person shouldn't be hard given that methods not technically a person deputy chief wuntch is here to see you oh please they Diaz I need a witness in case her head starts spinning around hoarse she turns into a she-wolf hmm an embarrassing blight growing right under your nose not unlike that mustache you had when we first met that moustache was era-appropriate you're going to leave my precinct and my task force alone or else you were wuntch meet you sure you want to go with that one absolutely it's hilarious now right Raymond Madeline you're one go ahead and gloat you toad thank you for this honor deputy chief noh okay you're welcome once time is over both ways no regrets unfortunately because this case has turned out to be important that she's gone madeline wuntch has her hindquarters pointed right at it I'm a front runner for a job in the Boston PD Boston but it's so close to Salem you do know what they do the witches up there don't you this is amazing she's the devil and you don't dance with the devil because you get burned also because in Madeline's case she has no rhythm and her hands are like little rat claws I've come to ask for your help the Commissioner will be moment savored so where were we so here's how I see this going down you plead for your job back I refuse you start weeping like a war Widow does that sound about right don't count your gross fish babies before they're hatched Madeleine how did you get this hello Raymond how do you like my new office 20th floor yes I never thought I'd see you this high without a broom under you enough niceties have a seat I got her a parting gift tickets to wicked in Boston she's moving to a second-class City and I wanted to rub her nose in it enjoy the understudies Madeline have fun watching some chubby Chenoweth knockoff warble her way through popular so you've got an audience for this little stunt yes well who wouldn't want to see a man fight a crocodile I'm gonna call Commissioner sheesh I know you never would have recommended me for that Boston Post if deep down you didn't think I deserve the job what uh my lady left me my lady stayed come on sir focus on the good you can hold your head up you took the high road with wuntch not entirely when I was alone in our office I changed her autocorrect now when she types of lunch it gets replaced with but I'm not going anywhere Madeline's not some invincible succubus she's a regular succubus so she can't be defeated we just need to find the letter Madeline thank you for coming Raymond oh is the pleasure to call on a vanquished foe I feel like Jackie joyner-kersee congratulating one of the other slower runners buckle up it's gonna be a hell of a ride Curtis it I'm sure you'd like to take some weight off your cloven hooves calling me the devil how original Raymond actually I was calling you a goat the goat you have until tomorrow you grackle you came to me to ask for help shows how much you've matured you know it all shows how much you matured you with a face no I know why you referred to this as a suicide scrubber alter because I already want to kill myself why don't you wait a week you probably died of old age the only way I'm gonna die as if you touch me with one of your bony fingers and drag me across the river Styx rebirth a wonderful very creative look John Kelly has to be stopped he's spying on civilians it's unconstitutional and it's wrong please do you think any one of these jackals cares about what's right or wrong I'll help see sir there is good in every person I want to be known as for selfish reasons why would you want that to be now because I never miss CJ before and I want my thing to help cool it's working I mean I love how you're taking over the room you know I actually wouldn't mind getting rid of John Kelly either and that makes up so many dumb rules he told me I couldn't eat raw chicken and you think a new Commissioner he's already on board so yes a new commissioner would let you eat raw chicken for whatever reason it's healthier it sure is see Jan what do you hope to get out of this Madeline let me guess revenge on Dorothy for killing your sister I want the same as you Raymond I think what John Kelly is doing is terrible yes well said lunch so we're all on board this is exciting let's bring it in huh Suicide Squad on three ready one two don't touch other Jews have this it is sticky that might be me I ate a popsicle early it's probably Madeline cockroaches release of mucus like secretion the point is without any good leads Kelly will give the order to use the Stingray an order that we will record thanks to our very own madeline wuntch she's not possible Kelly won't tell me anything you won't even meet with me perhaps you can sneak in disguised as an old leather chair will you calm down she works at one Police Plaza all you have to do is run into it mr. Kelly no Madeline I didn't see you there I thought you were an old leather chair he's not gonna say that but you're worse than the vulture oh goody gumdrops but do we even need her what does she bring to the table thirty years of police experience I have 33 I earned a police combat from I have a Medal of Honor I own the record for most arrests as a uniformed officer an NYPD history you got me there of course I never spent much time in uniform because I was promoted to detective after one month they're not allowed to do that it's against the rule it's also against the rules that let a pile of worms wear a uniform and yet here you stay okay just stop how do we get close enough without attracting attention good dance you must know some moves you were mentioned by name in the Monster Mash is fine but on two conditions we stay at least four inches apart at all times and you tuck your tail back into your pants so I don't trip on you move well must be all the extra legs you crab did you find miss exhausting thinking of fresh insults not at all you coffin cave mold beetle I meant our relationship aren't you tired of the rivalry we fight and we fight and nothing changes oh we're really not so different I suppose we were close once remember Brighton Beach twelve hundred kilos of heroin and your fan dance upwards on the largest drug bust an NYPD history pulled off by the most unlikely duo a woman the gay black detective no I meant a human and a lot of Jack O'Lantern you

Channel: Comedy Bites

Views: 3,261,176

Keywords: 30 Rock, Andy Samberg, Brooklyn Nine Nine, Comedy Bites, Jake Peralta, Liz Lemon, Michael Scott, NBC, Nick Offerman, Parks and Recreation, Ron Swanson, Steve Carell, The Office US, Tina Fey, brooklyn nine nine wuntch kisses holt, brooklyn nine nine wuntch time is over, brooklyn nine-nine, brooklyn nine-nine bloopers, brooklyn nine-nine i want it that way, brooklyn nine-nine season 7

Id: nVfZIiZJb7Y

Length: 10min 3sec (603 seconds)

Published: Wed Mar 18 2020