Pimento being the best Brooklyn 99 character for 17 minutes straight | Brooklyn Nine-Nine

um excuse me pal take you out my Des who whoop don't be a dumb Dum squad meet detective Adrien Pento he's been deep undercover for the last 12 years but he's just resurfaced and he's rejoining the 99 that is awesome I'm really scared Jake I'm really scared yeah I know just try and look at one thing and focus only on that until I can get Charles out here to help okay okay ooh there's a juicy old person butt in that window why is it got to be juicy and old I don't know but I'm grateful for it so big day how you feeling buddy good giddy never felt giddy before didn't realize how close it was to hungry it's possible you're just hungry when's the last time you ate I 3 days ago you excited for being married yeah I love Rosa I can't wait to just Jam my tongue in her ear holes and eat the hair off her head I'm giddy oh that's cute I'm going to open this closet and I'm going to show you that there's nothing in there don't do that that Papa see nothing hey Chuck it's Pento brass says I can't rejoin the force some crap about you can't just disappear from your job for seven months blah blah blah blah blah oh well that's unfortunate I know how much being a cop meant to you I don't know what I'm going to do I guess I could be a teacher sorry Travis the answer is obviously is dumble what did you say to me no maybe you're wasting your life sorry principal rolds I didn't see you there wait Travis is your son well I guess you're just going to have to fire me fired me how dare you sir we will settle see it just wouldn't work has he done anything suspicious yet no just regular Pento stuff it's like he's going all Normcore to throw me off the scent and now Nicolas says he's too frighten to ever sleep again so that's just super duper I don't understand what he's so scared about if I was there to kill him he never never would have heard me a thing you told him several times okay this is very scary but it's okay because you're a trained pilot no I'm not I'm selftaught what oh yeah you can learn anything online oh you should see me do origami oh do you know how to do a frog oh no can you do a swan no can you do a crane what's a crane okay he does not know how to fly a plane this is insane I mean Charles loved this truck it's his baby there's no way he'd burn it down the world has a messed up Place Jake people kill their babies babies kill their parents it's the circle of life that was clearly a triangle okay fine busted if figas hired him that means he's highly trained armed and very dangerous the only problem is none of us are packing oh not a problem I've got an Arsenal in my pants damn damn you know I had a friend that had to retire from the force he became a private investigator ooh Pi huh I like that hello Mr branville I found out where your wife's been going tonight have a seat you're not going to like this she's is cheating on you what do you mean you knew that already you killed her and her framing me for the murder I just left my prince all over the crime scene oh you are an evil gee this this I could get on board for Bo Adrien what are you doing here I'm an insurance investigator now I thought you were in Alaska oh yeah I was after Ros and I broke up but then I accidentally killed a protected Buffalo self-defense next thing I know fishing gamer all over my ass I ended up in a fight with a bear and I had to think to myself why am I even here wait a minute you fought a bear big time the trick on that headbutt him in the penis push him over a cliff I bet that works with a lot of animals only the male ones learn that the hard way anyway you know that if you guys want to get in touch with me there's easier ways than burning down your truck right what burning down my truck yeah it's obviously arson you did it you're not going to get a dime and are probably going to go to jail so what's going on with you guys give me that juicy 99 Goss am I right what' you do undercover I worked for Jimmy The Butcher figas that is an aess mobster tell tell me literally everything everyone shut up pretty much just a Bag Man for him I mean I did some other stuff um we usually try to tell funnier little stories well there's nothing funny about what I did for the butcher I've had to learn not to Blink because every time I close my eyes I see a fresh horror ooh dark but how do you keep your eyes moist no actually I have a very funny story about keeping my eyes moist someone's trying to kill me here we go again Pento Pento Pento don't worry everything's okay you've had some brain trauma and that caused you to lose your memory you're scared that you're in danger but there is no evidence that anyone is trying to kill you you're safe wait really okay thank you I was really worried you know cuz of this gun shov oh my God someone's trying to kill you what you just told me that wasn't the case fine single baggot to your funeral you dumb son of a get out of here idiot hey partner bad boys don't have Partners actually cashiers and bad boys need to be totally ins sync shut up Maggie look man you sacrificed 12 years of your life for the police department you're a hero sorry that I didn't trust you yeah me too the footage came back on that be and we've got a suspect I'm going a bus some right now if you want to come with me why don't you give me those eggs I'll put them on top here okay what was that about what happened to you Maggie butt out okay this is my life listen I need the money back and I need it back now a jeez I'm sorry I can't do that I placed the bed online it's not like I can cancel it you just placed the bed online yeah he could have done it himself it's really easy I kept telling him there's no need for bookies anymore no no no I don't mess with computers okay okay ever since I died of denter on the Oregon Trail I was like no thank you I'm done with this well listen we need your help great who are we killing I want do kids that's a rule but that rule is negotiable if the kids a dick no babe we don't want you to kill anyone what really no sorry if I surprised you it's just when I was under cover the middle of the night was the only time I could do actual police work uh how'd you get in the apartment oh it was easy I just seduced the old lady upstairs came down the fire escape jimmied the window open Bing Bang Boom I'm inside your living quarters totally of course next time you can just give me a call you know two ways to pop in on a friend I didn't kill the old lady upstairs if that's what you're worried about well I am now where am I what is that table calm down you're at the 99 and you know what a tables I don't remember coming here how did I get here oh my God pimento has momento disease your memory is resetting like the guy from the movie momento what you guys never saw momento it's the guy with no short-term memory you know Christopher 's first movie is it like Dory from Finding Dory she keeps forgetting where she's swimming no no it's like Dory yeah yeah yeah I'm like the forgetful little fish well I mean yeah it's like that but it's also like just keep swimming that's what Dory said classic Dory Jake you guys really ruined the coolness of this momento thing also Jake following is Christopher Nolan's first movie you sound like a great assho out here babe do you want us to beat you up yes please anything to feel alive I was lying before about enjoying walking it sucks and Mar is a giant pile of garbage okay so we beat the crap out of my fiance and you're okay with this yeah just want him to be happy a you guys are a weird couple but it appears we have a plan okay here are the ground rules you can punch me kick me pull my hair I am AOK being stabbed biting and scratching are on the table you can use fire these are the ground rules is there anything off limits damn man you got something really sick you want to do huh oh you little pervert all right I like it don't tell me surprise me o this is going to be fun Hey Jake I need a wedding favor of course anything except killing someone or Ming someone or breaking the law in any way or nudity also I don't like waking up super early in the morning you know why don't you just tell me what you want cool I need to go to new New York I got to pick up a pair of ruby earrings I pawned before I went into hiding new is like 6 hours away I'm not so sure we can get there in Back In Time Jake there's no wedding without the earrings my grandmother wore them on her wedding day and said they blessed her Union do you want this Union to be blessed Jake or do you want this Union to be fraking unblessed blessed totally blessed I'll do it it's fine but I should warn you my car is a piece of junk and it's always breaking down ah come on the universe isn't going to let anything bad happen to two best friends unless we're in a fiery crash and our bodies are burned beyond recognition put the dog show on at once the game's on put on the dog show EG it's in overtime what's up jerks Meo you're broken into my house yeah I'm an insurance investigator I can do whatever I want what are you doing here I'm working the case I'm looking for Clues come on you already said Charles couldn't do this he couldn't do it that's what I thought but then I realized if you can hide your engagement from me what else are you capable of hiding oh right arson come on don't you think that's a bit of a stretch is it lab test came back and said the accelerant used in the fire was turpentine and look what I found in Bo's wife's closet looks to me a lot like turentine oh I wouldn't do that turpentine just like I thought that's Genevie she uses it for her paintings likely story oh God I swear I'll get you the money I just need a little more time oh my God you really punched me oh my god that hurt are you okay what yeah this is my character I'm a coward come on give me everything you got where's our money oh my kidneys oh I'm pretty sure I'm bleeding internally oh God get out I am so sorry what it's going great punch me really hard in the stomach okay I think you broke my wrist oh you really hurting me please stop hurting me what are you doing I said stop hurting me I thought you were a character no no I don't have health insurance this could bankrupt me look at all this crap see I told you they took all their merchandise and burned their store this is a bad idea we should leave now what no all we're going to do is find the earrings and then light this place on fire for Revenge check it out rain stick keeping it no you're not that is a crime untrue once you steal something none of your stuff belongs to you I've heard that too no you haven't no one has put that down okay Gina be a quieter robber you told me to put it down hi we met earlier you're breaking into my house or you breaking into our house yeah Dam Doo robers Dino huh I found the earrings Dino get up here yeah Dino get in here so you can watch me light your house on fire yeah perp knew where the camera was must have case The Joint ahead of time we're going to need all your footage from the past week this is an amateur job everybody knows you break in when the owner's there that way have guaranteed access to the safe and you can kick his teeth in to send a message okay why don't you just oh sure you could slit his throat but then what are you going to do with all the blood uh we leave it in his body where blood lives because we're cops oh right we're cops and don't worry sir we're going to catch these bastards or my name isn't Paul Sneed Adrien Pento Adrien Pento so what' they take about $115,000 worth of stuff TVs cameras bunch of prepaid cell phones ooh you sell burner phones what kind of deals you got on those why do you want to know about the deals just Gathering evidence for the case cuz I'm a cop remember detective Paul sne Adrian Adrian p i I know who I am you know what forget this okay okay Adrian there's very little evidence to go on so we should take a look at your Pi Case Files don't have any keep everything right up here in the old steel where am I what is this bed and his memories resetting all right Adrian someone's trying to kill you you have a memory disorder that makes sense like in the movie momento I haven't seen that it's like Finding Dory oh now I know exactly what's going on thank you Charles okay let's get your dressing back to the precinct where it's safe okay oh ay in the back of your gowns open Don't peek at my tushy I'm not wait since when is your back covered in tattoos it's not otherwise I couldn't get buried in a Jewish cemetery are you Jewish not yet ooh I should ask that nurse if they've got a moil on staff wait maybe you've been getting tattoos to help you remember things like the guy in momento again haven't seen it no the tattoos could be clues that you're leaving for yourself here we'll step out you get undressed and write down everything you see and you're fully naked hey all right well I guess we're looking at them together this is just a list of modifications on a signature salad from Panera okay this one says buy toilet paper in a truly gigantic font I hate to think of the horrific event that led to a reminder of this size this says your bank account number is 432 211 378 then just under that someone saw this and stole your money a this just says don't trust your D okay well that's good advice my D does get me in a lot of trouble are you sure that's what the d stands for oh it's for sure my dong it could tell some stories Costa Rica 98 Nom it's coming up hey man what the hell were you you doing great Sarge can I just talk to you outside for one moment BRB BRB BRB Sarge he's a good cop if you ask him in a supportive non-confrontational manner he'll give you a calm logical answer bye why do you want to know who are you working for I will cut you little man cool hey uh Adrian can i b you for one sec hey guys it's me Adrien Pento hey Pento how's it going bud pretty good I know where I am and I know what a table is so everything's is going great pretty low bar for greatness but all right hey how's it been since you stopped taking those pills well thankfully my full memory has come back even the things that haunt [Music] me Hey Jake I saw that movie you keep talking about you watched momento and what you think that's okay Adrien open up get out of here dvis come on Adrian admit it you have a conflict of interest how could I have a conflict of interest we barely have a relationship we're not even friends anymore you saw to that didn't you that's crazy we may have lost touch but we're still friends is that right Jake are we still friends if that's the case then when did I lose my virginity oh man you've told us so many intense graphic sex stories I have but a true friend always remembers of friends first Jake we know this it's got to be one of the swamps H Florida swamp or okoi swamp or oh was it a Bou no no no I've got it summer of 91 at a screening of Robin Hood prince of Thieves well done it was Brian Adams's soundtrack and Kevin Cosner's Flawless British accent that put us in the mood to get gross next question favorite shape oval of course favorite scent trick question you lost your sense of smell in a shipwreck guys we are friends a I love you guys are you still angry no that was a cathartic Scream Of Love understood good so how'd it go actually went surprisingly [Laughter] well no [Applause] Rosa honestly this is the best I could have asked for one bag of Primo blow as is the problem Caron I still have reservations about this plan perhaps you could say your dealer ran out or he's summering in N Tucket now this is perfect if she gets wasted maybe she'll get sloppy and start talking plus I mean I can teach you guys how to fake take real drugs like a pro I used to do it all the time when I was undercover all you got to do is close your nostril when you go down watch this oh nope I didn't do it that time I got a full snout full woo okay no let me just try it again I'm a little rusty all you got to do just close the old noston and then oh boy I got more that time where did you get this Adrian that's enough we can make fake cocaine for ourselves out of vitamin B powder ooh vitamin B the second best vitamin guys I'm telling you the fake snorting can work watch oh oh I got so much that time anybody want to listen to Jiro right now okay I'm just going to move this away from your nose holes [Music] he

Channel: Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Views: 1,629,434

Keywords: Brooklyn Nine-Nine, brooklyn 99, b99, Stephanie Beatriz, Andy Samberg, Melissa Fumero, Detective Amy Santiago, Detective Jake Peralta, Terry Jeffords, Amy Santiago, Sitcom, Chelsea Peretti, Andre Braugher, Gina Linetti, Terry Crews, Joe Lo Truglio, pimento brooklyn nine nine, pimento brooklyn 99, pimento brooklyn nine nine ground rules, pimento brooklyn nine nine drugs, pimento breaking bad, pimento brooklyn nine nine closet, pimento brooklyn nine nine insurance

Id: hv_WIkNzaqc

Length: 17min 13sec (1033 seconds)

Published: Sun Dec 24 2023