Answering REALLY Personal Questions

let's get a little personal shall we ask you guys on Twitter to ask me some really personal questions because I used to do reading comments videos but all the comments got to say me it was all the same stuff all the time how do you start a YouTube channel what is your real name why are the answers to life I don't know so I thought it'd be fun if we just did a personal Q&A I'm also curious to see how what people think personal is so I put this up a while ago and I picked out some of what I thought were the best questions but hindsight's 20/20 so we'll see if I actually pick decent ones what was your most embarrassing moment in your life you forget some of those questions where you you feel like you should have an answer off the the the tip of your tongue because so many people have asked you and it's such a it's a question that a lot of people get asked but I can never think about the most embarrassing time or maybe you have just blanked it out at this point maybe there's some more embarrassing things that have happened that I just can't think of but for me to come to mind the first one is the story about when I [ __ ] my pants I told you guys some of this story before maybe I'll do a story time on this one but [ __ ] my pants went home pants full of [ __ ] puked all over myself and then hugged my mom at the door because I was drinking a lot and then the other one wasn't as I told this one on tour it was one of the jokes in the tour was when I was a young wee lad in Ireland and I was an altar boy and I had to hand out the collection plates for the money during communion and I couldn't find they're always in the same place and I couldn't find them and everyone in the church stared at me they were just looking at me and I had no idea what to do and that was the first time I ever felt like my whole body shut down I think that was the first time I ever felt anxiety and I was like what 8 to 10 years old I started yo have you ever been in a situation where there's a big opportunity landed to you but you never took it and you regretted not getting it sooner yeah there's been a ton of stuff from earlier in YouTube that I turned down when the channel was really like kicking off and getting a ton of sobs every month there was a lot of stuff that came to me with a lot of big opportunities and a lot of money and different things like that a lot of sponsorship deals that I turn down because back then sponsorship for as like readily apparent on YouTube as the air now like everyone to sponsorship ceases most channels are actually funded almost solely by sponsorships at this point so it's not that weird but at the time I was really scared about doing anything like that because I thought that people would look at me weirdly I thought that people would call me a sellout they're different things like that so there was a ton of stuff that I I turned down there was some stuff like mobile games that offered just [ __ ] tons of money what my games have way too much money I don't know how the [ __ ] they're making all this money and not to say that money was like a huge thing that I really needed but at the time it really would have helped a lot of the stuff that I was trying to do and like getting different projects done and everything and some other people came with some cool ideas that I turned down cuz I I don't know I was so focused on my schedule that I didn't want to break away from it and do all these different things because I was like no this is my thing I'm good at this and I'm gonna keep doing it until people get bored of it but some of that stuff I could have done alongside of what I was already doing so any younger creators out there like don't be afraid to branch out and do different things if it fits what you're actually doing then it shouldn't matter I think your audience will understand when was the darkest moment of your life and how did you get out of it I think my darkest time ever was well three years ago now December 2017 so about two years ago I I stayed at home alone for Christmas and there were so many things going on in my life at that point I was at a junction where I didn't really know what I was doing I my relationships personal and like professional we're kind of all over the place I didn't really know what I wanted I didn't over I was going at it and over I stood with some people and I stayed at home alone for Christmas and I I just sobbed for like two or three days almost solidly and that was the first time I ever felt really depressed like actually depressed there's all those moments where you're kind of in a funk or you're sad and you're like am I depressed no I don't think so but this is the first time I'm like man I'm [ __ ] miserable I do not No what is going on and that was said there's gonna be a personal Q&A so let's get into it a little bit that was that was the first time I ever truly thought about killing myself that sitting at home at that point I was like but anyone even miss me would would it all just go away if I did this one thing and I entertained that thought not for very long but I said when that came into my head I kind of snapped out of it and I thought to myself this is not normal for me this is the first time that that ever actually because everyone thinks morbid thoughts every now and then there's a morbid curiosity in humans we all have it like what would happen if I drove off this like bridge or things like that but this is the first time that I actually actively entertained the thought and that that in in its in and of itself kind of snapped me out of it because I thought I I don't think like this this is not me I am NOT in my right mind right now and I had a really big long reflective periods in like that week and I kind of just said to myself like what have I done what have I accomplished Who am I basically and what do I want to do next and as I started writing these things down and really thinking of them and ruminating on them I started to realize that things weren't as bad as I thought they were and this won't work for everybody and I highly suggest that if you have these types of thoughts and they linger and you're really struggling I definitely recommend talking to people and seeking professional help I was looking in the in the fact that when I sat down and really thought about it I realized that things were not as bad as I thought they were I had accomplished more than I was giving myself credit for I had more stuff coming up that I could have potentially tapped into and really run with that I was really excited about so again it didn't last that long but that was the first time when I was like at my darkest at my lowest and I really didn't know what I was gonna do and that's kind of where the PMA stuff sprung up from that it just turned out to be a mentality where I was like no it just it was like my mantra every day to be like no just try your best keep going get through it and things will work out and it took a really long time it didn't just happen I didn't just go o PMA yeh it it took about eight to nine months to really get back into a positive space so 2017 was like my worst year and then 2018 was still pretty [ __ ] but I tried to go sorry I tried to make the most out of it and and work through it and then 2019 got better right now I'm in a much much better place so any of you going through that kind of stuff ie I relate I I get it but please talk to somebody about it I should have talked to somebody about it a lot sooner than when I felt it so please talk to people please seek out help because again these things do pass things do always get better it just takes a lot of effort and a lot of time sometimes but they do get better if you ever had a fear of growing up like when you were in school did you ever think I have no idea what I'm going to do as an adult and that terrifies me asking for him yes I think everybody has that at some point I think that that is absolutely human and absolutely normal the problem is that no one talks about it and especially on social media no one ever talks about this [ __ ] because it makes you look weak and it makes you look like you don't know what you're doing what everyone else looks like they know exactly what they're doing so people all shut down and don't like talk about stuff but yes of course I've had a fear of like growing up it was more a fear of like Jesus like you said like what the [ __ ] am I gonna do I have no idea when I started off YouTube that's that was the second darkest time of my life was I went to college for music production and again I've told this story a lot before but I went to college for music production and I dropped out after two years because I didn't know what I was doing I felt dumb I felt like I had no friends and they were all better at it I did have friends I just projected that I had none and kind of made up excuses for myself not to go and then when I got home I realized god what am I gonna do next I went on like social welfare I was on benefits I didn't want to work I I didn't know what was going on and that really scared me because I thought this is it this is my life I'm gonna become an absolute nobody and just do nothing with my life being a nobody is not bad but at the time I felt like I had been in like a band and everything and I was going to a music production I thought it's gonna do all these great things and then when that fell apart I thought nothing was gonna get better from that point what I started doing YouTube then and that ignited a passion in me that really made me feel like I was doing something worthwhile not not even like a capacity for a job or a career or money or anything like that it was just really fulfilling to do day after day and I felt like I was doing something better with my time than sitting at home and just playing video games all day every day and I think what I learned out of all of that was that I got purpose and drive and motivation those were the three things that I lacked severely confidence was also one I was very insecure back then about like my my smartness and what I could actually accomplish and all my friends seem so much smarter than I was and I didn't know what I was gonna do and why was I dumb and they weren't but yeah motivation and purpose and drive to do anything or so what I severely lacked and getting that in YouTube and I went back to college again for hotel management and just really tried to get things back on track or try to do something better but when you're younger and you're in school and everything like no one ever has that [ __ ] figured out you never know what its gonna be like to go out into the real world and even when you are in the real world changes all the time life is tricky life is complicated in life is very complex and it's not the same for every single person despite again stuff like social media will show you that Oh everyone's doing so much better and everyone has stuff figured out and everyone's so much smarter than I am and things like that but don't let that [ __ ] get in your head just do what you got to do do what's best for you and do what you want to do to the best of your abilities not all of us can do what we want to do because we're limited by time money location friends whatever but just try your best and do what you think is best for you and if it doesn't end up being the best for you you will at least have done something and then you can figure things out as you go along you don't have to have life figured out you don't have to have a game plan ready for the next 20 years of your life just take a day-by-day by year I just figure it out as you go along you'll get there have you ever had moments crossed your mind where you thought I don't want to do this anymore in regards to just quitting YouTube yep I've had that thought a lot because when things get a little trickier things get a little annoying I'm all for different reasons whether it's just like oh god I'm sick of doing the same thing every day or I'm just tired of YouTube's algorithms and trying to fight a system that I have no idea how it works or whatever there's a ton of different things like that I've I've done YouTube long enough and I'm at a position where thankfully I don't have to rely on it every single day for revenue anymore I do really enjoy still doing it and that's why I continue doing it because it's just fun and I really love making videos but there are definitely moments where I've thought man I could just stop and all of this [ __ ] would just go away whether it's having to deal with pressures or like fan pressure or expectation and all these various myriad of different problems that come with it and just stress and anxiety like doing YouTube I absolutely love it it's the best job I've ever had and I wouldn't trade it for anything else but it is the most stressed and most anxious I've ever been in my life doing anything because again I'm my I'm my own boss I set my own schedules I have to figure out all the stuff that I want to record myself and sometimes when things don't go well you can start to dwell on it and you start putting your self-worth in numbers and you start putting yourself Worth and comparing yourself to all these other people who again feel like they know what they're doing when in reality they're also just trying to figure it out and go along with it as well lately I've just been thinking more of what it would be like to not upload daily or change what I'm doing and not upload because I I like uploading daily I like my work ethic I like doing that but sometimes you just kind of get stinkers you don't get the greatest games I'm trying to find stuff to play all the time and I'm like well do I even want to play a game and sometimes coming up with those ideas takes a lot more effort than it should and they don't end up being the best so it's like well I could just skip today and then move on tomorrow so I I'm getting to the point where I'd rather work when creativity or motivation strike me most rather than just doing it for the sake of doing it and that's why I want to do bigger projects and do more stuff to challenge myself and be more creative this year because again I've done the daily thing I've done it every day for seven years basically a couple of breaks here and there in the last couple of years but overall I just don't know if we're uploading every single day is really worth it and I've talked to a couple of friends and other YouTube friends and everything and we've all had that thought at some point you even the people who love doing YouTube every day like myself we we still think about that every now and then and kind of fantasize about what would it be like how would I do it what would I do next because if you do it for again 7 years and some of my friends I've been doing it even longer that you just wonder what would I do next do I have more to give is there something else I could do so we absolutely do think about it if Sam is pregnant and go into morph ball what happened to baby well Alana what I think happened to baby is baby dead everyone's like oh my god I never thought about that it's like pretty sure baby's probably just dead the morph ball is designed to house samus and her body and it's don't are at the specifications and the science of shrinking her or changing her into whatever does not account for a separate entity and body I'm sorry it's as gruesome as that what's the most ridiculous rumor you've read about yourself online oh where do I start there's been a couple about like oh I think the one that recurs most is that I'm secretly an [ __ ] that I generally nice and positive online I think that I just get along with most people but some people seem to think that that's an impossible thing for someone to be that you can't just be a nice person that there has to be some sort of secret hidden agenda underneath it all that I have to be hiding something that I have some sort of secret sinister thing going on in the background that everyone's going to find out about someday and that's kind of what canceled culture is based on is that like a ha gotcha [ __ ] knew it now you can't just be a decent person online without some sort of lake like doing charity streams had to be for exposure or they had to be for goodwill or to make myself look better rather than just doing it for the sake of trying to do a good thing things like that and it's just some people make up all these conspiracies and it gets really ridiculous and people start piecing things together like well this person said something about him and then this other person said something else without even having any sort of evidence or fact-checking or anything at all they just start believing it because I don't know it's more fun to gossip and make [ __ ] up and just roll with a story and a conspiracy theory and a narrative than it is to just be like oh yeah he just uploads videos and he's nice I can talk about how long I've been doing here - I don't mean - I've done this for so long that I feel like Who I am is very apparent by now that if I did have some sort of secret hidden agenda it would be very [ __ ] obvious there's no way I could keep this up for so long and then have all this secret background behind me that I'm some sort of [ __ ] secretly but all it takes is one little stumble one little fault wanted to like misspoken thing and people like knew it that's it there it is God that all of these years of like showing who you are your morals your character are just gone out the window because people just they just want something they want friction they want chaos people are so bored in their day-to-day lives by going online and just seeing the same [ __ ] every day but as soon as anything different shows up they just want to roll with that and give some sort of meaning a purpose to their life in the negativity and dwell in those because it's more fun to do that than to just sit back and enjoy videos every day so I like to punch a dog every now and then so that's not that bad come on guys do you poop no never how many potatoes do you eat per day on average more than most people could handle have you ever made eye contact with girls before marriage answer carefully or a mite on subject no of course not I was raised as a sweet little Catholic Irish boy you think I would even dare look at somebody else in the eyes before let alone hold hands or kiss boss stinky if you could be one female youtuber for the day who would it be I would be jenna Marbles because she seems like she's having the most [ __ ] fun ever and I love it and she just seems like she knows who she is and she's just going for whatever ideas she has she just has some great dogs maybe I want to like hold hands with Julianne or something I don't know it's so you'd be so weird right now Joey come on slob but it's the last time the tissue paper split mid wipe and you gave yourself an accidental doctor's check oh is this is this it I want to ask for personal questions this is what you asked I can honestly say this has never once happened to me I think I'm more careful than you are maybe I don't know it's never happened I do it intentionally not accidentally was your favorite 2011 meme you know it's gotta be scumbag Steve that meme was iconic and legendary max what's your favorite 2011 meme give back are you Asian no I'm a Shawn what is your worst experience at a convention finally a normal question again this is another one like your most embarrassing moment that people kept asking over and over again I was like what has been my weirdest interaction what has been my weirdest experience until last year I had my weirdest experience ever it's my it's not only my weirdest convention experience it's my weirdest fan experience now where I was meeting a bunch of people as I do at the meet and greets and things were going well people are always super nice it's really great meeting you guys at conventions it's my favorite thing to do at a convention cuz that's mainly the reason why I go to them because normally I sit here and I talk to you through a screen but to go to a convention is great cuz I actually had to meet you in person and chat and have some sort of experience that's beyond a screen but last year I think it PAX East I was I was doing the thing I was meeting people everyone was it becomes the same types of interactions over and over again and a lot of people I've met before and it's great meeting you guys second time cuz then I remember and we can have a conversation about what happened last time and somebody who I'd met before came up to me and I thought it was prepared but I was standing there and they came up they took the picture the got stuff signed and then they said can I speak honestly with you for a second I was like sure absolutely most people want to speak honestly because again that's why we're here and there and you can actually say something to me in person this person then pulled me close leaned in really close to my ear whispered so close that I could feel their breath on my ear and said I wish you had stayed single longer then they put their hand on my chest and draped it down slowly and left and that was the creepiest thing that's happened to me with a fan that crossed so many lines so many boundaries it was really awkward and I don't know whether I don't know what they thought would happen I don't know if it's I wish you had stayed single longer because I wanted to date you or I wish you had stayed single longer for your own mentality because I think you need to be alone or something but it was this really weird entitlement to it it sent shivers down my back and I was that was the first time that I got really like no I'm [ __ ] done with someone because normally people say some stuff that's like that's kind of not okay to say but I know you didn't mean it that way and it's like okay hug move along when that person said that I didn't even make eye contact again I was like okay bye know that oh it was so bad I I felt so uncomfortable please don't ever do that to anybody what happened to you and your family in your old vids you mentioned how it was great and any time your dad is mentioned now you seem to get upset first of all I think I should preface that a lot of day or where's my dad or those types of jokes it's it's mainly just a joke because I don't know there's something funny about that like people saying like so I woke up and like my hand was sore and then like I went down and put ice on it and it I don't know what it was and then it's just saying something like what does that say say about your relationship with your father because it's like a therapist joke that all things go back to your parents and people have daddy issues so that's the main reason why I say that but to be honest in reality my relationship with my family is not a lot of them I don't really talk to anymore because of different reasons that I I'm always kind of reluctant getting into it because I don't want them to really see it and then feel bad really because again I don't want to hurt anybody but back then talking about my family everything I was living with my family so it's kind of the only people I really knew around and it was also that I didn't want to show any negativity on my channel because I just felt like no one wants to hear that no one wants to hear about personal issues no one wants to hear that I'm sad today and I didn't really want to record but in putting on a smile because that's what you guys want right so it was some of it was deceptive and again a lot of youtubers do this because when you start off you don't think anybody really wants to hear about your problems you don't know if people are there for you or if they're there for the games and it took me a long time to really open up and just talk properly about who I am as a person so that's why it was a lot more positive back then and these days I'm like you know what life is tricky and nobody has it figured out really and sometimes things are kind of shitty and I know people will respect that a lot more and relate to that a lot more if you're just honest and yourself and you just talk about things openly rather than trying to hide it and be like yeah everything's great guys hahahahaha cuz then if I'm off in a video or things just aren't really going that well I can say that now and people like I get it like sane and people give you a lot more slack or as if I'm just positive all the time and I present pretend that everything's hunky-dory then people build you up to this expectation that can never ever be met and then you come crashing down from that what was the first time you experienced loss in your life it was probably a pet but when I was younger I didn't really associate like pet loss the same way as I do human loss the first time I properly experienced lost was when my my grandmother on my dad's side died ie I didn't know her she was in a home for a very long time she had I'm pretty sure she had dementia and Alzheimer's so she wasn't like she wasn't really present a lot of time at any times I met her when I was younger she didn't talk she didn't really she kind of just smiled the things every now and then and then before school one time I think it was like 12 or 13 we my parents woke up at like 6 5 6 a.m. and they said ok we have to go through the nursing home they we got a call about your grandmother and I was just so tired I didn't really connect the dots and again I didn't have that much of an emotional connection to my grandmother and we went to school and I was sitting in class and the principal came up and said can we sorry to interrupt like Sean can you come with me and everyone knew that something bad had happened I didn't really connect it yet I was like oh god I'm in trouble what did I do but everyone in class can like turned and like looked at me to be like oh no and it wasn't until I went out then that she was telling me on the way down what had happened that my grandmother had died and as I was walking down I saw my sister with her teacher and she was just like bawling her eyes out but again I didn't have a connection to my grandmother back then I didn't really know who she was and she was just so distant any time I had met her so I I didn't really get that huge and emotional reaction out of it which was a learning moment for me as a kid because I was like should I be sadder should I feel this the way other people are feeling it and then when we're at the funeral I shed some tears because I just started like opened up like an emotional reaction in me seeing everybody else that I cared about having an emotional reaction so it was a really big turning point for me in my life to experience loss like that for the first time and then when my grandmother on my mother's side died I can't remember how many years ago it is now but it was back when I was living in the cabins and I had a much stronger connection to her and that hit me a lot harder and seeing seeing that for the first time because I I had had friends and things who had had funerals for their loved ones and I'd gone to those but it's like a disconnect it's when somebody you're close to it happens too that it really kind of hits home have you ever dealt with toxic friends or family members and how did you get over it well judging from the other answer yes I don't know if I if I deal with stuff in the healthiest way I'm I think I'm getting better at it but usually toxic-free I'll talk about toxic friends first and foremost because toxic friends are are tricky because you're doing what I do and meeting people you don't know who wants to be friends with you because they genuinely like you or who wants something out of you and if definitely felt the moments when people wanted something out of me because I was jacksepticeye rather than being a friend and with those people I learned the hard way it was seeing their true colors after a while and then having to like talk to them about it or cut them out because some people just weren't they they weren't there to be friends even if I did talk to them about it they weren't there to be friends with me they just wanted something out of me and with those people I had to cut them out of my life and the same with dealing with like toxic sides of communities like they they don't have your best interests at heart they're not there to actually talk or have a conversation or understand they're there to tear you down and they're there to gain something from you and that is a very hard thing to deal with and I still think that I don't have that and figure it out because each scenario is completely different I think the way I try to deal with it is understand from their perspective try and talk to them about it explain from my point of view what's going on and how I'm perceiving this and hope that we can meet somewhere in the middle and then I have a tolerance for that that if if the same thing just keeps happening then I'm sorry I can't continue that because it's just not healthy it's not good for me it's not good for you and I think I think people deserve better than to be treated in a toxic manner and that's why my tolerance for toxic stuff now is so much lower because I know my tolerances I know my boundaries and I know where my cutoff point is and if you cross that I just I can I only have so much room in my brain for so much going on that I can't deal with toxic [ __ ] because it's it starts to affect you it starts making you toxic if you have to deal with that [ __ ] all the time I'm a sucker I keep wanting to like apologize to people and put the burden on me and be like I'm sorry like how can I help and that's something that I've learned over the years and some of the therapy sessions I've been to and everything was like learning how to get over that and learning how to just say no and that's why going into this period of my life I'm I'm trying to figure out what I want and what is good for me and even though that can be selfish you got to be a little selfish every now and then especially when it comes to your emotional needs but again I'm not a therapist I'm not a professional I'm just talking from my own experience to take it with a huge mountain of salt I don't have all the answers I'm just telling you from my experience what worked for me and some of it might not even be working so please don't model yourself after me did YouTube have any effect on your personal life such as wife kids friends well I don't have a wife I don't have kids if you're talking about future plans then that's a different question I think there is a question about that somewhere in here but with friends yes absolutely friends and family of course whenever you gain any sort of notoriety or fame or money especially completely changes people's perceptions of you and that's why a lot of people on YouTube and me included are kind of afraid to talk about money in such honest terms first of all some people just want to talk about it because it's none of your [ __ ] business secondly it changes people's perceptions of you even though I don't talk about money I don't ever talk about money unless it's got to do with like charity stuff and I've donated so much money to charity myself just last year I think it was like 160 to 180 thousand dollars but that would not matter as soon as something came out people say like well jacksepticeye has earned X amount of money on YouTube and I don't fought that anywhere I don't talk about it I don't show off I don't talk about money at all and for the most part but as soon as people find out how much money you have or how much you can potentially make it completely changes people's perceptions of you some people would either say like oh good for him and like he doesn't talk about it like that's great but other people then would be like Oh see you have this amount and you only donate X amount to charity or you have this amount and like oh I don't know blah blah blah it's just money such a painter of conversation and opinions but in regards to like the numbers of people who know who you are that also has had an effect because of course it has more people now know who I am then they than have ever done in my entire life and when you meet people now especially people who know you on the streets for being jacksepticeye it's hard to know who's there because they genuinely just like you or who just want a picture with you because they think Oh famous person click it's it's very weird and more people now know more about me than I know about you which is a very weird conversation to have this idea of a parasocial relationship which maybe I'll do a video on at some point because I've kind of wanted to do more videos delving into these sorts of topics but again it's tricky to do because I don't have all the answers I'm just talking from my own experience but yes of course it's had a huge impact on my life not that those are the more these are the sides of it that I don't really talk about that being said the other side of the coin which is a much bigger side of it which is that it's changed my life for the better in so many different ways I'm happier I'm doing a cool thing I have so many great friends around me now who I've met all through YouTube I'm in a fantastic relationship that I've gotten probably as a byproduct of the people I know through YouTube and I've done so many cool creative fun things so don't get me wrong I'm just talking about this stuff that this is a personal video and I'm talking about the stuff that no one really talks about but the other side of that is that there are far more positive aspects to it is being in the spotlight too much for you and if so how do you deal with it I feel bad putting in multiple of the same types of questions now because this video is getting very long sometimes yes it's far too much sometimes people dwell on every single thing you say and you can't speak your mind fully because if somebody says something to me and they say it in sort of a harsh tone and I try to reply with like no that's not really how it is like this is the truth it can be taken so many different ways take the John boyega stuff for example recently a lot of people saying a lot of really shitty things to him and it's not okay crossing so many boundaries some people are kind of like having fun with it and joking around whatever but there are an aspect of the community who are being absolute [ __ ] and some of them are even being racist and everything but apparently that's fine because he's a famous person right and he signed up for this no he signed up to do something fun that he enjoyed having Fame as a byproduct of that does not give you free rein to be an absolute [ __ ] and if I had experiences like this myself and a lot of my friends have to with YouTube where somebody can say something to you but as soon as you say something back then how dare you because the fans are the underdog you're the big dog eating the underdog and that's not okay apparently that you can't speak your mind freely after a certain point of Fame and notoriety because then you're just an [ __ ] because then all your fans go attacking that person so it gets a little much sometimes or some so many things that I've had to like bite my tongue on because it's just not worth it and I can deal with people saying [ __ ] about me online because 90% of it is not even true it's just people trying to tear you down for no reason but sometimes it is like man it just ruins your whole [ __ ] day it puts you in a bad headspace you don't want to do anything it doesn't happen all the time but every now and then it does get pretty bad and for those those times I'm those are the times that I'm like man I could just quit and not have to deal with any of this [ __ ] but again it's it's a minority of the audience and it doesn't happen all the time and the positive aspects of it are far greater doing this so I I'm trying to focus on those aspects a lot more this year rather than just dwelling on all the trivial [ __ ] that people say that's not even true to begin with but they just accrue this group of people who just want something to believe in and I go back to the drama and the canceled culture and the gossip stuff like that it's just just step back and think if your what's the what's the term for it schadenfreude in' if you're getting enjoyment out of tearing somebody else down you need to heavily reflect on who you are as a person and what you're doing and why you enjoy doing this is your most painful experience physically I think the time I dislocated my shoulder it was only for a very brief second I was on a trampoline with my friend and we were jumping up and down and as I jumped up they were coming down and hit my shoulder and knocked it out of its socket but it almost immediately went back in that was so [ __ ] painful I first of all I'm looking that I've never broken a bone I've never had any sort of like really bad cuts or anything like that the fact that this is the most painful experience of my life means that I'm very lucky but that hurts so [ __ ] much I'm sure you've talked about this and maybe I've missed it but is it a goal for you to get married and have kids someday I think you need a fantastic father from my limited perspective of you a couple of years ago it was I thought that I had to do the thing like grow up have kids become a husband like anything but the older I'm getting the more I'm like if it happens it happens if it feels right it feels right but I am in no rush for any of these things to happen and I don't feel like my life is lesser if it doesn't happen I'm still happy I can still have a fantastic significant other in my life I don't think you need to get married I don't think you need to have kids to give your life purpose if you want to have them go ahead if you want to get married go ahead but for me and kind of either/or if it happens and it feels right I think that yes I think I would be a great dad but again if it doesn't happen I'm not gonna feel like I'm missing out on anything so it's kind of just like but if it happens it happens but I'm in no rush do you really feel like you have finally found out who you really are like your real self no I don't think so I don't think anyone really ever truly figures out who the real self is because there's so much external stimulus from other people that's kind of forming who you are as well but I feel like I know now better than ever who I really am I think I'm I'm closer to it than I've ever been put it that way I think the next 10 years of my life are really going to be formative in that regard and I think like like the rock and Kevin Hart were saying when I interviewed them like in your forties I feel like that's when you figure it out and from some of the people I know who are in that age range like my brother and some of my friends it really feels like that like you're your 20's are figuring it out your 30s are still kind of figuring it out but you're getting closer and then your 40s or when you really start to figure it out so that's why I'm saying don't be in a rush to grow up don't be in a rush to figure it out cuz I'm I'm getting better at it but I still I'm not there and I have a lot to figure out and that's fine that's part of the journey that's what's exciting to me about my 30s and exciting to me about this turn of the decade as well because a lot of these things are converging at the same time and I'm excited to figure it out and I've been the whole idea of like have you ever thought about quitting YouTube is one thing I don't have any plans on quitting YouTube anytime soon but it is a thing where I'm comfortable that if YouTube ever collapsed and my channel got deleted I would be fine that it would suck not being able to upload stuff for you guys but it's not going to affect me as much as it would have three four years ago I wouldn't feel like my entire existence is pointless anymore where now I feel like I have more purpose outside of my channel so I feel like I'm getting to a better place like that I'm not pandering to teenagers and kids as much as I used to before and that to me was a big like overcoming of obstacles to be like you know what it's fine to just do your own thing and not have to pander to your audience all the time which I feel like I kind of was more years ago sorry I'm getting there but it's still a lot to figure out and that does it those are all the questions that I had those were went on a lot longer than I thought they were going to but again with these types of videos I feel like if you're here to learn and you're here to listen that longer videos won't really matter but this was fun to do it is nice to answer stuff that's a little deeper maybe a little darker maybe stuff that I don't normally talk about and stuff that doesn't really fit into any other video without sounding like a complete different tangent I think that's why I like doing the interviews with people as well because I think you get a better understanding of who I am as a person and the more you learn about me and the more you figure out where my head is that the better you understand the rest of my videos that if I'm just uploading videos for the sake of entertainment I'm just yelling and screaming and fast at it's all the time that's fine but there's more to me than that and I'd rather show more of the complete picture I'm still not a hundred percent honest all the time because I don't feel like you guys should have all the information I don't think I should talk about every single aspect of my life because I need some stuff for myself I need to have some sort of personal private information that people don't know about because if I give you everything then I have nothing for myself or my close personal friends to talk about but hopefully you have a better understanding of who I am and if this is the first video of me you've ever seen then homeboy but this is this was nice I'll do another one of these eventually if you guys have any sort of different questions but it's nice to not answer the same questions over and over and over again some of these I have answered before but as time goes on my my my brain changes in my thought patterns change in my mentality and certain things change which is also interesting because people also have the interpretation of you like they find your channel let's say 2016 2017 and that's you but as soon as your brain changes then you're too different and they hate you when really it's like oh well of course brain is going to change brain change brain good so I think that this adds a whole layer to sort of people's mentalities and who they are as people if we go to see more youtubers do stuff like this I think Felix did one recently and that's kind of where I got the idea to do this one as well because it's just it's interesting to get more of a perspective on things by yeah I've been talking too much I'm going to leave this video here thank you guys for watching thank you guys for the questions and thank you guys for listening until next time I'm just gonna say please subscribe like the video buy my merch please [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] so great to see a youtuber just speak their mind you know is to be honest

Channel: jacksepticeye

Views: 1,812,248

Rating: 4.9576225 out of 5

Keywords: jacksepticeye, Q&A, jacksepticeye Q&A, questions, answering questions, q and a, funny, personal questions, answering personal questions, answering very personal questions, question and answer, jacksepticeye reading your comments, answering your questions, fan questions, twitter, i read your comments, reading comments, reading your comments jacksepticeye, questions and answers, personal, private, secrets, twitter comments, read comments, reading tweets

Id: YWqxF-67YRI

Length: 41min 55sec (2515 seconds)

Published: Tue Jan 14 2020

Reddit Comments

[u/Tiny_Pay]

Yes, YouTube not going so good