Alien vs. Predator (2004) KILL COUNT

[Music] welcome to the kill cow where we tally up the victims in all our favorite horror movies I'm James Agee nice and today we're looking at a lien vs. predator released in 2004 AVP is the big screen confrontation that fans had been waiting to see ever since Dark Horse's aliens vs. predator comic books came out in 1989 I bought some of those comics and read the first omnibus in preparation for the scale cop it wasn't bad and I'm not even a huge comic book fan after more than a decade in development pretty much ever since Danny Glover found the xenomorph skull and that ship in predator 2 a VP was finally brought to life by longtime predator producer John Davis and writer director Paul WS Anderson the story they settled on maintains the continuity of both film franchises and takes place largely in Antarctica in the then present year of 2004 I've already covered the original alien quadrilogy and the first three predator films on the killcam so if you haven't watched those episodes yeah give them a look I have Oppo hare and the alien ones after spending so much time with the two franchises for those episodes I've come to really enjoy both alien species the Xenomorphs from alien are awesomely gross and Zerg like and the predator species the jaw or whatever that word is are some of the most badass hunters I've ever seen get down unfortunately their first feature film together suffers from a number of issues a pretty slow start characters who only exist to get killed and speaking of the kills real fucking lame ones probably because of the movies pg-13 rating although heads up I am using the Unrated version for this kill count which is about seven minutes longer than the theatrical cut I just don't think this movie's worth doing a full cut comparison for sorry how many boring kills will the aliens and/or Predators rack up let's find out and get to them [Music] the movie or at least the Unrated version of the movie begins in 1904 where a whaling station in Antarctica is looking pretty deserted save for this freezer-burned dude running around pissing himself silly he winds up on the ground with a predator laser sight on his chest but before he can get killed xenomorph jumps out and unleashes a title car hey hey this is a non-smoking voice take the cigarette outside you're smoking the place off well we return we're in the present we're a xenomorph queen look at satellite orbits around the Blue Marble we call home the satellite is owned by the Weyland corporation which in 2004 has yet to merge with yutani and it picks up an unidentified heat structure in Antarctica that sends the Weiland eggheads into a scramble a crack team of various experts are flown to a giant icebreaker ship at the behest of Charles Bishop Whelan pioneer of modern robotics the team consists of Lex Woods and Antarctic Guide played by Sanaa Lathan a pair of archaeologists named Sebastian and Tomas whose last job involved recreating the opening from The Exorcist and dr. Miller a chemical engineer played by you and Bremner of Trainspotting and Wonder Woman Charles Bishop Weyland himself is played by Lance Henriksen who was of course the Android named Bishop and aliens an alien 3 so according to a VP that Android was designed and named after this guy the CEO of Weyland industries who apparently was also the inspiration behind bishops knife game programming yep I guess this is where the Android learned that from Weyland tells the makeshift team that they've discovered a pyramid 2,000 feet below the surface of Antarctica and according to the pyramid professional Sebastian this might be the first pyramid that reveal ha sweet first edition pyramid you know pyramids in the aurora borealis are cool and all but could we actually get some ex T's up in this bitch thank you finally aboard a predator sheds about time we saw some of the titular combatants and it looks like these young Joe or lasering the goddam Earth cool and back to the boring ice boat son of a bitch Lex has a team huddle where we get to meet some of the other quote unquote characters like the head of the drilling team Rustin Quinn and a couple of Whelan's mercenaries like Marx were hidin and the del Russo but honestly none of them are interesting and they're only here to increase my kill count graphic workload they take a bunch of snow cats and head out into the Antarctic expanse which really just makes me want to turn this movie off and watch the thing instead they get to the pyramid site which turns out is directly below that whaling station we saw in the Unrated versions cold open cold open like Antarctica get it the station's been abandoned since 1904 and now it's only resident is this adorable penguin oh man as much as it would suck to see a penguin get face hug how dope would a penguin be the team finds a perfectly drilled hole in the ground the result of that space laser we saw a few minutes ago but while they're busy wondering how it got there I'm just fixated on how fun it would be to slide down that motherfucker before they head down there though let's discovers that Whalen beginning high oh wait no that's a medical thing because I guess he has some health issues his sickness is never specified but it sure sounds pretty terminal cuz after Lex tries to make him stay behind he insists on coming so he can leave some kind of legacy you know what I realized will happen when I go ten percent fall in share prices maybe twelve that's it and so he joins them as they climb down the tunnel in a very unfunny way come on you cowards just grab a potato sack and fly some suboptimal surface weather conditions do actually lead to Waylon having a good time slide around for ammo but Lex says no fun allowed and puts an end of that shit with her ice pick playtime is over when they get to the bottom they don't go back to the top of the slide instead they stop and they turn and their minds go for a ride because right now they looking at the world's first ever pyramid cool like literally it's gotta be pretty cold down there congratulations mr. Waylan looks like you'll be leaving your mark after all yeah go piss on it leave that mark they head up the stairs and into the pyramid where hieroglyphics show just how long this damn movie was in development an inconvenient step triggers some kind of mechanical system that showed to us in a very resident evil way using holographic maps that zoom in and out of the action not surprising since writer director Paul WS Anderson had just made the first Resident Evil movie two years prior to this the system that was triggered pulls an alien queen out of deep freeze and puts her in a microwave on the dethaw set and it must be a high wattage microwave too because she comes back to life immediately great practical effects here one of this movie's strong points is a B eyes kick-ass puppetry for the xenomorph this human activity has captured the attention of the Predators on their spaceships so they suit up and ply their craft right on over to the whaling station where three pods are jettisoned to give us a triple dosage of pretty action in other words it's finally time for some friggin kill unfortunately the first batch of kills are of a whole bunch of nameless mercenaries the first victim is killed in first-person predator vision something we've all seen before and then the invisible predators land among these no names and get to murdering them with their usual bag of Predator tricks accompanied by a lot of bad looking CGI blood in the Unrated version at the end of this attack more mercs have been merged and although they're all nameless no bodies I can at least appreciate the shots of this last dude with a spear pinning him to the wall head driller Quinn shows up and after finding his four former co-workers strung up in classic predator fashion he shoots at a shimmering outline to reveal the cool-looking leader of the Predators in this movie this predator named Celtic apparently knocks Quinn down the I slide so at least someone gets to use this thing properly thanks mr. aliens as Celtic admires his work he's flanked by the other two Preds in this movie chopper and scar we transitioned back to the human cast with another blatant ripoff of Resident Evil wait can you call it a ripoff of it's by the same director or should we just call it lazy either way the humans stumble upon a sacrificial chamber where a bunch of skeletons are laid out way too old and decomposed for me to include on the couch because it's like what would you want me to count up all these wall skulls to that's stupid they also find the calcified carcass of a face hunger and some hieroglyphics that Thomas is able to read with surprising ease they gave their lives so the hunt could begin what kind of hunt you asked well the one that involves this big mama alien and her nasty sack of xenomorph eggs haha and she's laying them down on grows on a conveyor belt I know it's painful Zeno Queen but poor foolish we need something to put up a good fight against the Predators because that Quinn dude sure isn't in any condition to do so he gets killed quickly and unceremoniously by the predator who will come to be known as scar with an off-screen slash that covers some nearby snow and blood Weyland's body man maxwell discovers an additionally subterranean chamber and all the important characters had down there leaving second-stringers like thomas andrew so behind into sacrificial chamber the characters who descended and find a sarcophagus and open it to reveal that it's filled with dry ice cool you know like quit early again last time I promise it's also got a trio of predator plasma casters the shoulder-mounted Canon that is my favorite of all the Predators weaponry showing a remarkable level of ignorance mr. Whelan's team takes the plasma casters which of course trigger some more legends of the Hidden Temple shit it all gets reported back to the Predators on their wrists doodads and sends them running deeper into the pyramid the pyramid innards start to shift around the humans with staircases revealing themselves and most of the doors around them stealing shot the people in the sacrificial chamber are completely closed in which is pretty bad news considering that a bunch of xenomorph eggs just rose up at the foot of all those sacrifice tables even worse for the six people left in there is when the eggs immediately begin to hatch cuz gross-looking facehuggers climb out and fly through the air and bullet time to do what they do best get that throw see later on Rousseau comes to and finds the rest of the people in the chamber get in first fall and although Russo is the only one who we actually see get killed here I'm gonna count Thomas and the other four people stuck in that room is dead right now we never see them again after this but it's safe to say they're all victims of the classic chest burst the remaining group of humans are trying to find their way out of the pyramid when the three predators come across them we all know predators only attack beings that proposed a threat but these TSA scanners show that the humans are indeed packing heat so the Preds launched another attack and this merc named stoned is the first to go when he gets a noose around his neck ultimately getting killed off screen above the rest of see the humans break out into a panic after that which only escalates when another merc named bass or bass maybe gets killed by a telescoping spear that gets thrown through his chest I guess those things are also called Comey sticks call it whatever you want man it's freaking dope either way the team fails to successfully shoot down Scarlet predator and after the pyramid stone shipped around again like there's a goddamn Tomb Raider game or something everybody who's not dead gets separated into a number of smaller groups this one guy Joe Conners finds himself completely alone and crawling through some tunnels until a first-person xenomorph comes along and abducts his ass the same fate befalls dr. Miller and that surly mercenary verheiden after a trapdoor separates them from each other dr. Miller gets yanked up into the ceiling and after cribbing a classic predator line verheiden is captured as well once again I've just got a compliment the practical effects done by amalgamated dynamics 8 better known as ABI they were that company whose practical effects in the thing prequel got replaced by CGI because of the studio fun fact ABI was co-founded by Tom Woodruff jr. a protege of Stan Winston who played xenomorphs an alien 3 Alien Resurrection and both AVP movies elsewhere in the pyramid the other group of survivors is being slowed down by Weyland sick ass coughing all over the place that makes them easy prey for the Predators who find them and launch a Cyrax net at Maxwell which pins him against the wall the net begins to constrict and it proves to be made of an unbreakable material so Maxwell is stuck there as the big Chong Corp ready Keltic stops up to the group and starts kicking ass indiscriminately he raises Sebastian into the air by his neck and is able to multitask enough to kill Maxwell off with his telescoping spear dabbing through his body and the stone behind him to give us another shot of a weapon dripping with CGI blah which is only slightly better than the much cleaner weapons featured in the pg-13 theatrical version Lex is attacked by chopper the underwhelming third wheel of the predator trio but before he can use his wrist blade to kill her he gets stabbed through the back by a xenomorph tail the buggy bastard lifts chopper up and brings him face to face for a nice poster image before it kills him with a head bite from its inner jaw and in case you're new here I try to restrict the kill count to humanoids meaning predators like chopper will go on the calm but the insectoids II no more will not call me speciesist if you want you'll see later why ain't about to include those bugs Celtic sees that his bro just got killed so he tosses Sebastian aside to take care of the bug man we finally get some of the alien versus Predator fight that was promised in the title and I for one am pretty satisfied by it even if it does get a little pro wrestling when Celtic swings the xenomorph around by its way but i love that when celtic cut part of the xenos tail law and when the Xena whips it around to spray acid blood onto Celtx armor yeah take it off Freddie boy counselling manages to net the xenomorph when it tries to ambush him from a bomb and when the Nets constriction breaks open the Zeno skin it leads to this particular xenomorph individual getting the nickname grid grids acid blood allows it to break out of the net and it wins the battle by tackling Celtic and head biting him with its inner jaw boom that is a lot of fluorescent pretty blood I'm a little sad because I thought Celtic looked pretty awesome but I guess he can't make an a VP without cracking a few Prez lets Sebastian and Waylon make it into another chamber but with Waylon too sick to carry on he agrees to stay behind and fight the final predator scar while the other two get away scar does an MRI on the CEO and finds his ambiguous sickness so he actually lets him go like the city hunter did with the pregnant detective and predator too but Whelan's not backing down turn your back on me and uses a makeshift flamethrower to briefly light part of scars armor on fire yeah dude obviously the predator is fireproof what do you think you were doing all you've done is make him look cool scar murders Charles Bishop Weyland by stabbing him through the chest with his wrist blades and letting this feeble body fall and roll down the stairs long live the CEO lexan sebastian makes her way through the ever-changing pyramid while scar gives us some awesome kills with a sharika in that sadly won't go on the cow because like I already said they're just a bunch of fucking bugs guys half decaf no dude by killing that xenomorph star graduates from a Youngblood yo jaw to a blooded warrior so he removes his mask and gives himself a mark signifying this rite of passage right on his forehead with alien acids wad too bad his face bout to get hugged Zeno style by looking at more engravings on the wall sebastian is able to figure out what purpose this pyramid serves for the Predators they've been sent here to prove that they're worthy to become adults yep consider this app red mitzvah these teenage Yaga had to come here and kill a xenomorph in order to gain their adulthood and the right to use those plasma casters some more hieroglyphics lead into a flashback that shows how predators landed on the earth thousands of years ago and after teaching human beings cool shit like how to build pyramids they were worshipped as gods not a bad gig Fred every hundred years after that the Predators would make the humans have a sacrifice party to breathe some Xenomorphs for game hunting and I guess I have to include these seven sacrificial maidens on the count if I want to be consistent fun fact the one in front is played by Karima Atta B who was the model for Laura Croft between 2006 and 2008 with every new batch of xenos created the Preds would gather to battle the serpentine alien as shown in the scene that serves as a perfect example of why I don't include xenos on the cow however I do include predators and since we see three of them fighting from the top of that pyramid and then see one of them set off a sore loser self-destruct Bob I'll go ahead and count three of our warrior alien friends in my continuing effort to not break my own rules for this show by now dr. Miller has woken up alive if not well and he finds himself stuck to the wall with verheiden to his left getting face hog to his right as the corpse of Joe Conners that other dude who was abducted earlier and by now he's been chest bursted so I'll go ahead and add him to the count Miller sees a face hugger coming at him and very impressively manages to shoot it down before it can mate with his face but we soon see that he's gonna need a whole lot more bullets if he wants to make it out of this place alive let's decides that she wants to give that last remaining predator his plasma caster map arguing that the enemy of their enemy is their friend before they can find their friend though a xenomorph appears and chases them to a broken bridge that they have to jump over Lex doesn't quite make it all the way and while Sebastian is trying to help her out a xenomorph appears and drags him away oh no after getting up over the edge let's carries on by herself and eventually find Skaar who's ready to show her he's not a little boy anymore he's a Myon she kneels down in submission to his manliness and slides over the plasma caster but before he can grab it another xenomorph appears and attacks the predator after knocking Skaar aside the xenomorph pounces lacks only to get impaled upon the predator convey snake earning lacks her very own xenomorph kill as well as some silent respect from star he uses his newly earned plasma caster to blow apart a bunch of xenos giving us fun alien explosions and intestines spilling out to the ground and when he goes to leave lex demands to come with him he reluctantly agrees to let her tag along but Skaar wants her to be prepared so first he makes her a dope-ass sword and shield made of xenomorph armor that should protect her against their acidic blood all right last you armed and ready cool initiate slightly romantic interspecies buddy cop sequence grid knows that if the aliens want to win against the power of love they're gonna need the assistance of the Queen herself so a couple of Zeno sacrificed themselves to some tongue function in order to use their acid blood to dissolve the chains keeping the Queen in captivity then the Queen rips herself free of the nasty egg sack blower allowing her to run down this corridor looking like Adonis ow Lex comes across the egg chamber and finds the strong a body of Miller now having the chest burst did for show I'm gonna go ahead and put verheiden on the count right now too although we don't see the mercenary in this scene we know that he was next to Miller and even though he was alive last time we saw him I think by this point it's safe to assume he's joined Miller and having been chest bursted let's also find Sebastian in a similar position and although he's still alive stars x-ray scan shows that he's already got an alien bone in his human oven he tells Lex not to let the Xenomorphs reach the surface and then she puts him out of his misery apologizing as she shoots him in a mercy kill legit Lex way to do what's necessary as for the chest burster Sebastian was hosting Skaar takes care of that little feller with a real simple neck snap seeing that there are plenty more eggs with facehuggers hatching Skaar initiate the self-destruct bomb and tosses it into the chamber then he and Lex make a super cute super getaway fleeing from the pyramid and getting back to their little sled at the bottom of the ice tub before they can escape though a xenomorph lands on scars back and impales him with its tail luckily Lex saves her space boyfriend after once again referencing the same ro line from predator oh yeah we get it a B P you can reference other classic lines once in a while too you know the lovebirds sleep onto the sled right as the self-destruct bomb goes off giving them a little extra oomph as they fly through the tunnel that looks hella far and also hella dangerous as they launch out of it at the end but no worries they're back on their feet and running away together in no time looking like the cutest action couple I've seen since Riggs and Murtaugh the welding station collapses all around them as they continue their marathon to safety when they finally get a chance to breathe Skaar takes off his mask which has got to be a bit disappointing to lacks to say the least I bet she's feeling pretty catfished right about me out borrowing a moment from the comics that involved a lady named Michiko Noguchi scar bestows Lacs with the mark of the blooded which will make for one badass story she can tell for the rest of her life but after the swearing in ceremony the alien queen bursts forth from the ground for one last action sequence it's a decent battle between scar and the Zeno Queen and let's even gets in on the action when she sicced the queen with the tail of one of her own children and makes her fall into a burning building I love that shot then we get into full-on Jurassic Park mode talk about must go faster as the egg Hugh chases Lex underneath a big water tank or something I don't know the ins and outs of whaling stations Skaar rejoins the fight just in time to save Lex and together the two of them chained the alien queen up to that giant bat right as it begins to fall over a cliff before it does though the antarctic queen impaled scar through the back with her tab oh man DC this shit the socks as payback for stabbing your new boyfriend let's finish is pushing the bat over the clip and it drags the alien Queen down all the way through the ice sheet and deep into the freezing water below huh this is kind of like an Antarctic version of the old airlock trick that they used in the first two alien movies let's go Stu tend to Skaar but it's too late that new bed sorry Lex I guess it's back to the online dating scene huh as she mourns her lost would-be lover a bunch of other predators appear out of nowhere but since they see that Lex is rocking that tribal tattoo they leave her be as they carry scars body into their giant spaceship this awesome looking predator who's apparently an ancient predator gifts less to Combee stick and then takes off for a spaceship twirl his fucking cape as he does it a predator in a cave man that's like bonzi levels are cool the spaceship weaves legs you know like pretty much stranded in the middle of Antarctica so that sucks but I guess that snow can there is supposed to give us hope that she won't die the movie ends aboard the predator spaceship where scars body is laid out in front of a giant window but don't look now there a chest burster inside of him and that motherfuckers here to say sick Wow we had a three-way war in this movie so surely there must have been a bunch of kills let's find out how many and get to the numbers damn it and get my thrusting his care about throws II I counted 32 humanoid deaths in alien versus Predator which again means that Xenomorphs weren't included the victims included six predators 18 human dudes and eight human ladies all those seven of those were sacrificial maidens in a flashback when the Unrated versions run time of a hundred and nine minutes that left us with a kill on average every three point four one minutes I'll give the golden chainsaw for coolest kill to Celtic I loved the head bite and this is the only time in this movie that we got to see it in all its glory gotta love all that glow-in-the-dark blood going everywhere doll machete for lamest kill has plenty of options but the second death of this movie it was a mercenary being thrown into a table what kind of horseshit is that being killed by a table slam Mick Foley would be a shame and that's it alien vs. predator came out in 2004 and made a whole bunch of money which of course means that they made a sequel we'll look at that movie the much darker a VP Requiem next week but until then I'm James a Jenice this has been the kill count thanks a lot for watching this kill count I won't think some patrons like Danny E Aaron s Wells Matthew Huber and Jordan blackwell a VP you guys have requested this so much and although they're not my favorite movies I am enjoying doing the kill cats form in case you missed it all movie requests should go to dead meat movies at gmail.com that's where they will get counted not in the comments thanks everyone be good people

Channel: Dead Meat

Views: 13,269,446

Keywords: horror, dead meat, movies, scary, films, kills, kill count, body count, james a. janisse, jaj, pine commander boogie, alien, aliens, predator, predators, avp, alien vs predator, sequel, franchise, crossover, fight, antarctica, antartica, scar, sanaa lethan, bishop, lance henricksen, weyland, yutani, lance henriksen, raoul bova, ewen bremner, sci fi, science fiction, paul w.s. anderson, john davis, resident evil, paul ws anderson, ian whyte, tom woodruff jr, adi, DMKC

Id: TxnfFjnLl_c

Length: 22min 55sec (1375 seconds)

Published: Fri Feb 01 2019