A Message To All Women! | Tony Gaskins | Relationship Coach

hey Tony Gaskins here hey listen to me if you've never seen me never heard of me please watch a few of my videos understand this I need to send this message to every woman who will ever see one of my videos because it's very important to me sometimes people say Tony don't address this or don't address that negativity or that hater or this situation but I address it because I care what you have to realize is that in this space of relationship advice in this space of being a professional life coach a professional relationship coach who is a life coach for billion-dollar corporations a consultant for those corporations working with their players or their staff being in this space some people just came and some people were called to it so I need you to understand ladies listen not every man not every man is a misogynist not every man is blaming you not every man is attacking you not every man is trying to take the blame off of men what I need you to understand is that there is a difference between certain people who give advice one thing you have to realize first understand is the question is always ask why don't you tell the men that the answer is men do not listen to men men listen to women so if a woman has the knowledge and she knows how a man views her and she understands a man's perspective and she understand how a man is reading her and she has the knowledge then she sets the tone and she makes the rules for the interactions with that man we as men and even myself when I look at other men other men look at me most men have a hard time believing in men and the reason being is because we know ourselves we live with ourselves we grew up around men so we know all the weaknesses in all the flaws of men have you ever heard women say or especially like teenage girls I don't really hang with girls because too much drama the to caddy is too petty all my friends are guys have you ever heard that I used to hear that all the time I used to hear that all the time and I still hear to this day a lot of women said I don't really hang when I don't really deal women and the reason why is because women know women so what you have to understand is that the power of dialogue is when it's opposites talking when it's opposites dialoguing because they're the differences equal strength similarities don't make you stronger so that is why we have daddy's girls and mama's boys you never really hear the term daddy's boy or or the term mama's girl you hear daddy's girl daddy's little girl or you hear mama's boy and that is because the two genders are were created to impact and influence one another and so what you have to understand is that for one on YouTube when I'm speaking 95 percent of my viewers are women so it will do me no good to be barking at a tree talking to men it will do me no good because 95% of my viewers are women the other thing that I am here for understand this when you come to one of my videos you're not paying for that video you're not paying me to watch that video I'm not charging you anything I'm selling you anything so that is a free exchange of free interaction on your part so at any given time I don't have to be here and you don't have to watch it so what you have to understand is that I don't have enough skin in the game to tell you a lie I don't have enough skin in the game to tell you a lie because I am married going on 13 years happily married and my wife is married you could go look her up on Instagram go click on my Instagram and look at the three people that I follow my wife and my two sons go to her page a woman's glow does not lie we have a book coming together coming out together April 2020 and we're gonna do some events together and you get to meet her in person and see her glow and see that it's real now here's one thing what you have to do to differentiate between the men who are online giving advice or sharing the male perspective I'm sharing the male perspective I don't even want to call it giving advice is is he married if he's not married and he doesn't mention his wife even if he is married if he's not mentioning his wife then that is a red flag because that means that he knows that there are some women who are attracted to a man who is articulate and expressing himself and seeming to be a good man and so that allows him to shoot his shot and play his games that's happening every day it's happening all the time I just saw it read about a man who was a a Christian man and I think it was a comedian or something and just lost his book deal lost everything because he was coming on the women trying to sleep with women behind closed doors and so that is happening the other thing is if he if he's married and not mentioning his wife that's not a good thing if he is not married if you don't see a ring on his left hand that is a red flag and the last thing what I want you to understand about men who are giving advice to women if you agree with everything that a man says it means one two things either you are either he's telling you what you want to hear or you could be in a good place in your life to where even if you disagree so I wouldn't say if you agree with everything but even if you disagree you're in the place in your life where you say look I disagree with that but that doesn't warrant me going into his comment section and attacking him and calling him names and the reason why I'm addressing this is because you know I go and I read the comments and I say you know I answer questions and I try to hit the like button while I can because I know at some point I won't be able to just do to the demands of life so while I'm able to I go and I do that and in the comments sometimes and you'll get to see this but this also shows you something about the state of relationships and the state of where men and women are but there are so here you have a man who is going on 13 years of happy marriage I treat my wife like an absolute queen I love her mental her physical her emotional her spiritual and she is absolutely happy you can see it on her glow go to her page to read Gaskins on Instagram and she has a video she has a YouTube page but she doesn't really update it because she's not really into that she likes being behind the scenes and just living life but I take care of my wife and I love my wife so if you have a man who was married and 100% faithful and who serves his wife and who is serving the world and women call that man a narcissist a misogynist that helps you understand the problem with labels because if I'm a narcissist if I'm a misogynist then what is every other man what is what is the man who is sleeping around what is the man who is beating on his wife what did the man who was cheating on his wife what is the man who hates women what is the man who is blaming women so we have to understand this that that is for those women if you're in that space that is why you are single that is why you are struggling with relationships because you are holding on to bitterness and pain and you just despise the existence of a man because of all of the pain that you've gone through and I said not my wife and I was talking about this and I was talking about the video where I was addressing the overuse of labels and everybody using the term narcissists and and how women were attacking me and saying that I was making light of narcissistic abuse when I didn't even mention narcissistic abuse I was talking about one thing the over use of the word the mislabelling people with that word not fully understanding what it is feeling like because you read about it on google and you watch some youtube videos on it that now you have a complete understanding and you can start labeling people a narcissist I was talking about the danger of that and I talked to my wife about it she said well what you have to understand Tony she was like some women are so hurt they are so hurt they are so broken they've gone through so much with a man that they can't see beyond their pain they can't see beyond the pain that that man caused them so even you having good intentions and trying to help they lump you in with the man who hurt them so when you address something if you even smile or if you even laugh or you say something they just are not ready to process they're going to attack you and I and my wife helped me understand that and so I went and I removed the video just because I didn't want it to be taken the wrong way if I did not care and if my heart wasn't in what I do I wouldn't care how you feel I wouldn't care how you respond so I took that video down if I didn't care I wouldn't be addressing this but I truly truly care but here's the reason why the reason why I care is not so much about the interaction between my video and your view it's also it's more so about my agreement with God because by the age of 21 I had already done more with women then some men do in their lifetime and then I met my wife at 21 and I was ready to change my life and because my wife wouldn't put up with any crap anyways I've made the decision to change my life and I changed my life and we rode off into the sunset and I said to myself this isn't fair because I've lied I've deceived I've been that man that I see out here still so I got a help and God said to me right your wrongs you can't ever really right your wrongs but serve turn your mess into your message and so that's why I do what I do I can't speak for other men but I'll tell you this I wrote my first book in 2007 went what year did you read your first relationship book if you're under the age of 40 like myself I'm 35 if you're under the age of 40 what year did you read your first relationship book I wrote my first book in 2007 if you're african-american what is the biggest relationship book you've ever heard of you don't have to tell me but just think about it it may have something to do with Steve Harvey's book at like a woman at like man think like uh somebody that came out in 2009 I had been an author for two years already and I am half Steve's age because my heart was drawn to this when I came into this at 22 years old there was no monetization I did that I didn't have on Twitter I didn't get on Twitter till 2009 I didn't use social media I did it from my heart I sold a book out of my trunk trying to help so I want you to understand that not every man is a narcissist not every man is a misogynist not every man is sexist all of these labels all of these terms and especially when you go to the point of having a fake picture or no picture to just come called names and attack people and you a real person I know you're a real person it's not a bot because a bot wouldn't write like that listen you got to heal your heart you got a heal you got to forgive forgiveness there's a quote that says forgiveness is a gift you give yourself it's not about him you forgiving him it's not about him it's about your freedom so that you are not attacking innocent man so that you are not misunderstanding and mislabeling innocent men and men with pure intentions so see what I'm trying to help you understand is that this is bigger than me this bigger than me and you because I can have you and you can have me I'm happily married so I'm not even in the equation this is about your husband that you are with or this is about your husband that you are about to meet or that you are about to marry this is about him if you are online going out of your way and taking your time to leave this charging and negative and hateful and spiteful and bitter comments on a free channel time out of your day that speaks to where you are in your life and see one thing about me I don't want to offend anybody but I'm gonna be real with you one thing about me I'm not going to pander I saw its certain signs that I see that I consider pandering if a video is always one-sided and it's never holding men accountable or it's never holding women accountable then that's pandering I hold women accountable and I hold men accountable anybody who watches my videos or listen to my podcast know that I hold men accountable I live accountable so I'm not a panderer all the videos that says five things about this three things about this three ways to know there's five ways to know there's three to me that's pandering because it becomes clickbait I'm gonna operate in a natural way my videos if I have idea I'm a jot it down but every day I woke up this morning 5 a.m. and it is 8:15 a.m. so if you're watching this video later or if it's if I premiere it at a later time it's 8:15 and I'm up working for you 8:15 a.m. but I woke up 5:15 and I had an email and my email was full of comments from YouTube because they come to my email someone come to my email and I don't know why YouTube sent something not all of them but some of them come and I was reading it and I went to one and I you know say thank you or whatever and then it was on one of my videos oh why married men approached you on why married men approached you there was women and I had to block some of them because one thing about me is don't play any games I don't play about my energy uh it's cool if you have a difference of opinion it's cool if you disagree but when you attack me and you're calling me names I got a remove you from my space because I don't deal with negativity I don't entertain negative energy so I had to block some of those women I need to go unblock them so that they can see this video and understand the bitterness and the brokenness that they operate from but in that video when I'm saying why married men approach you women start saying oh you blaming a woman oh you blaming a woman you blame to me so it is my fault men need to own their stuff married that man is just a no-good man listen if a married man is approaching you it is already understood that he you already know he knows I know you know that his character is flawed but what you don't know as a woman is what he is reading in you that is the purpose of what I'm doing to help you understand a man's perspective so that you know what entered what your energy is saying is just for knowledge because we were not given the gift to see ourselves through the eyes of others so if there was a woman who was doing what I'm doing and she was helping men understand from a woman's perspective how women view the behaviors or the actions of men and what it says to a woman I would be all over her channel but anytime a woman comes on my page and she's in the comments nobody is sharing the name of that woman I've never seen that woman because those women that's out there they're giving advice to women so what does that tell you if a man who is supposed to be who should be trying to open up and create a dialogue because we are a different sex if a man is giving you inside but then women are also talking to you what does that tell you that tells you that people feel that men do not listen now I know men listen at some times but you know why a man listens I'm a professional relationship coach so I'm coaching a client every day I coach clients every day typically three up to eight people sometimes in a day and so I'm doing this let me tell you something I've been doing this for since 2007 so I've been doing this 12 years going on 13 years and let me tell you when men hire me for relationship coaching men hire me for relationship coaching when their woman is done with them and has kicked him to the curb and says if you want to be with me you gotta go get coaching that's what men hired me men hired me when their relationship is over that goes to that goes to show you that women have the influence a man only comes to me for relationship coaching because a woman made him a man will listen to you before he listens to another man about relationships about what he needs to do to be in your life so understand that that that is why I know as a man that women have the power and the influence so what my goal is is to equip women with a understanding of the male mindset to level the playing fields because what I noticed when I was in the field is that every single woman I met failed every test you fell for the test you fell for the games and you know why I was playing again because I did not know any better but if I don't know any better if the man doesn't know any better and you don't know any better now it's the blind leading the blind so what so what you have is you have women going into a relationship with blinders on going into a relationship naive and gullible and this man who most likely is misled by examples negative examples that he has seen growing up he comes into your life and he misleads you because you submit to him thinking that he has your best interest at heart and he doesn't because he is only thinking about himself so you say oh well you should tell him that he needs to grow up and he needs to be a better man and he needs to be mature he already knows that but if you don't hold him accountable he's not going to do that because men change for women not other men listen I was a college dropout I was a drug dealer I was a womanizer I was toxic I was controlling I changed for my wife I was raised in a two-parent household with my mother and my father who were not alcoholics who were not drug addicts who were not absent but I still did everything I did regardless of how they raised me because I was hard-headed as a man which most men are and I changed for a woman understand that you have influence and power and that is my goal to help you understand a man's perspective to equip you with the knowledge so that when you meet these men you understand and how to read him and you know if he's full of it or if he's a real man that's the sole goal but listen if you are attacking me calling me a massage and it's calling me a narcissist mislabeling me because I know I'm none of those things because if I was massage I'll be kept telling my wife oh you got to cook every day you got to clean every day you got a fold clothes every day you don't deserve to work you an urn make no mind I'm the man I'm the head you to tell that's what a misogynist does my wife lived like a queen my wife lives like a queen because I'm not trying to put my foot on a woman's neck you know why because I know what that's like I've been that man in my past so I know what that's like and that's what I'm trying to teach on so understand is for one if you have a difference of opinion that's totally fine that's totally fine I'm a man so if you trying to tell me how a man really feels and how a man really thinks that's an unfair discussion because I've been a man all my life and all you know about a man is what men have shown you and typically those men were one or two types of men it was a family member who didn't want to let you know that he has kryptonite who didn't want to take his Superman cape off or it was a man who was trying to sleep with you timber there's one or two men one or two types of men you said oh well my friend told me all about me your friend will sleep with you your friend will sleep with you in a heartbeat your friend will sleep with you I know man you can't tell me about a man cuz I've been a man and I've been the worst man so what I'm trying to do is prepare you for the worst man so in that video where I was talking about all I was talking about why married men approach women the goal of the video was to help you understand that although his character is flawed although he may be a no-good man that's already understood he's still reading you so what is he reading what is he seeing the goal is the video to help you understand that although this married man approaches women is some women that he will not approach because because of what her energy says to him and it's some women that he approaches solely because of what her energy says to him so I'm making you aware of that so that you are aware of your energy so that you can identify if it's just if it's good energy and it has nothing to do with you it's not any of your fault it has you're not sending off a weak vibe it's actually a sexy vibe or an attractive I a confident vibe or just something that it draws him in or if it's a vibe that says I'm broken I'm gullible I'm naive I'm insecure I think it is important to understand how your energy is perceived because perception is reality now perception may only be the the perceivers reality but it is still reality so when you understand how you are perceived then that helps you so that's also why read comments because it helps me understand how I may need to tweak or change my delivery how I may need to be serious completely serious on a topic or I may need to over-explaining because one thing I realize about women is your mind is very complex and a lot of time and what a lot of women do a women call woman can watch this entire video this video might be 40 minutes a woman could watch this entire video and you could go in the comments and you will see a woman grab one sentence grab one sentence pull that sentence I context and start an argument you will see that happen so what I have learned is that women have an analytical mind so that I need I am better off over explaining then under explaining trying to keep a video under seven minutes you see I've been talking thirty minutes so hopefully you listen to this on the way to work on the way home on wait going to bed or you know you just chilling and shooting the breeze waiting on your son finished practice so your daughter to finish practicing you just listening but this is what I need you to understand some people will call some people just came I was called to this this is painful work it is painful we're trying to help people who half of them are unappreciative who half of them are labeling you the same thing as the man who beat them who half of them are labeling you the same thing as the man who cheated on them and the woman has never met you never had a conversation with you in person no didn't even listen to the whole video listen to two minutes other video made an assumption and when in the comment section calling you a narcissist or misogynist because she claiming to be a feminist or something else so it's very painful work to help people who have them don't appreciate what you're doing but but you know what I'm not gonna stop doing it because it's what God called me to I do it or I die I don't have a choice but to wake up and do this at eight o'clock in the morning I don't have a choice because God called me to this because of the damage and the pain that I caused light like Saul before he became Apostle Paul and wrote thirteen books in the Bible God called me to this because of the damage and the pain that I caused because God knows more than any other man if God knows that I understand the toxic behaviors and the reasons why men do bad things and toxic things as well as any other man on this planet because God knows I played every single game and that I was one of the worse out there so he redeemed me he made me whole he watched me he cleanse me and he sent me out here to the field to word so I need you to understand that you're not hearing from a man that has an angle because he wants to meet you at a seminar and then take you to the hotel room and sleep with you I'm not that guy you're not sleeping with me after the seminar you're not hearing from a man that's asking you for donations that's asking you for donations but for you to send in tithes and offering you're not hearing that from me you hear from a man who is happily married who treats his wife like a queen and you're gonna hear her tell it yourself and we can ready to start doing some videos together but my wife she just I'm waiting on her timing because a lot of men who do what I do or they talk on relationships so they own you know documentaries about love a lot of men force their wife into this space because it makes them more money because it looks more appealing and they're selling their relationship they're trying to monetize their relationship me and my wife we have real love we have real love and we have a real relationship and when it's real you don't have to flaunt it when it's real it's organic it's gonna show when it's gonna be show shown when it's shown the reason why we write in the book it wasn't my idea it was the publisher asked would she share her perspective so the publisher asked her and she said yeah okay I'll do it you know it's like I ain't crazy about it I can I really you know don't care to speak she had no desire to be a speaker my wife was in school to be a doctor she got her master's in medical sciences so she had no desire to be a life coach and to be a mentor and be a speaker it's my calling but she's gonna start speaking and she's gonna share some stuff but on her timing and you gonna see her glow you're gonna see how I treat her you go to her pictures you go to her page see her glow you go out see how she is taken care of and how she can do what she want to do have what she want to have little lights you want to live and just flourish so I'm speaking from that place I'm speaking from the place of the man who has evolved and who has come a real man but fully and thoroughly understands the mindset of a grown boy and I'm trying to articulate that to you on a daily basis I I'm gonna be posting five videos a week if my schedule allows it I would post seven but my wife told me to take the weekends off but I will oppose seven cuz typically this takes me 10 - today 40 minutes a day so a enclosing understand this like my dad used to tell me chew the meat spit out the bones not every video will be for you not every video you will understand because if you have not experienced and if you're not if you have not gone through it if you're not going through it it may make no sense to you so skip over the video it is for somebody else not everything I say will you agree with or understand because you are not speaking or thinking from a male mindset so we are different biologically so in this type of dialogue the most healthy thing and the most productive thing to do is to agree to disagree or to listen and seek to understand then be understood seek to understand meaning that I can't tell a woman how a woman thinks and I can't tell a woman what it is like to be a woman and I can't tell a woman why women do certain things because I have never been a woman although I have experience and many experiences with women although I have coached thousands of women 101 although when I was in the dating world I dealt with hundreds of women although I have that experience I am under the understanding why is enough and mature enough to know that I will never understand everything that a woman understands about herself or about women because I have never been a woman so that is what I'm trying to help you understand is that you will never have the mind of a man and as much as you've suffered at the hands of a man as much as you've dealt with me as many of the men who have helped raise you and teach you with all of that taken into consideration you still will never have the mind of a man so when I share the male perspective and why a man does what a man does understand this explaining a man is not excusing a man explaining a man's actions is not excusing his actions it is equipping you with the knowledge so that you understand why he is doing what he's doing it is not blaming you it is not blaming you it's helping you understand why he is doing what he is doing what he is reading what he is seeing and what he is doing because that knowledge will give you power to understand if there's anything that you can do there may be nothing you can do and it's all on him if you have that knowledge then you can rest assure but if you see that there are some things that you can do then you are able to make those changes that is the goal of all of my videos didn't when I'm speaking to a woman hey thank you so much just Tony Gaskins from the heart god bless you if you made it this far tell me that the last thing I said was be blessed right be blessed in the comments if you made it this far

Channel: Tony Gaskins

Views: 81,697

Rating: 4.936533 out of 5

Keywords:

Id: fpzJlhDAKn8

Length: 38min 2sec (2282 seconds)

Published: Fri Nov 15 2019