Are you the prize?

hey Tony Gaskins here they wanted to pop in I know you thought you were gonna get a video today it's Christmas Eve but maybe you can listen to this while you wrapping the presents or working with the elves and I want you to think about this because now I understand this first is it's gonna be a hard pill to swallow and I also want you to understand that it's different for different people so I have results in my life in my marriage if you live a different way and you are happily married then you have results in your life and in your marriage so I've seen atheists say that they have love I've seen Muslims say that they have love Christians Buddhists so I say that to say is I can't just say there's only one way to love to find love to have a happy and healthy relationship because other people will say otherwise but I know how I did it and I want to share this with you because I see this a lot as I'm coaching when people come to me and they say I'm this I'm that I'm this I'm that and on the outside looking in I see how things don't always line up so I want you to think about this and before getting in your feelings sit down and talk to yourself and really just kind of go through things and get to the root of your decisions of your lifestyle so the question is are you the prize are you the prize you being at this Christmas time you can say are you the gift and that's hard but if you become the gift if you become the prize then you will attract the prize and here's what I want you to understand for me I came to a place in my life and I said you know what I want to be a prize I want to be the absolute best man that I can be I want to be the absolute best husband that I can be so and I want to be the best person that I can be so I went through my life and I started with the small things so I said you know what I'm not gonna curse I'm not gonna curse because cursing is called profanity which means that it is profane if I say that I'm a Christian that means that I'm trying to live a righteous life style if I'm trying to live righteous that means that I am trying to be sacred profane the profane and the sacred cannot be combined so I say if I want to be righteous if I want to be sacred and I cannot be profane and it's not just curse and it goes into other things and I'll touch on that so I say I'm not gonna curse the other reason why I'm not going to curse is because it will allow me to separate myself to stand out to not be a part of the crowd because everybody curses but also I want to be a role model to my children and I looked at and I said okay what is cursing attached to typically it's attached to foolishness Justin and jiving or anger and violence so if I curse and I make a habit of cursing and I get into an argument with my woman those curse words become a weapon if I curse and cursing is to make a point to put emphasis on a thought emotional feeling then that can incite violence because when you use curse words a curse word is more likely to be a fighting word than non curse words and me being a man me being short-tempered me being someone who has a past of being toxic controlling and everything that a man or human should not be I want to eliminate this small thing because it's the small fox that spoiled the vine the little bit of leaven that leaveneth the whole lump so let me remove this small thing so by me not cursing it actually keeps me it makes me appear in any circle I enter more mature because if I curse I can't go and sir I can't talk to the kids if I curse all the time I can't speak at a church if I curse all the time I can't talk to people without offending them if they don't curse now for the people who curse ok cool means nothing some people have said oh don't trust a person if they don't curse but you have to evaluate why would that be why does a person have to be profane in order to be trusted so I remove that I say you know what I'm not gonna get drunk meaning that I'm not going to drink to the point I'm not talking about not having a glass of wine or you know one drink here and there socially I'm not going to get drunk meaning I'm not going to drink to the point that I can feel that my mind and my judgment my speech my behavior whatever it may be is altered I'm not going to drink and the reason why I'm not gonna drink is because for one that can turn into irresponsibility I could end up driving drunk I could end up acting out of character I could end up hurting my woman hurting my children if I'm getting drunk it impairs your judgment I can make a bad judgment call and it costs my life it cost somebody else's life cost my freedom it ruins my reputation it diminishes my character so I'm not gonna get drunk I'm not against you know Jesus turned water in the wine but you shouldn't be a wine bitter you shouldn't be a drunkard so says the Good Book so I'm not gonna get drunk that will something myself also if I'm not drinking then I'm not I raped yelling screaming cursing you know doing crazy stuff put my family at risk I said I'm not going to watch pornography because if I do that then I'm feeding lust and if I'm feeding lust lust is not like thirst when you feed lusts it gets stronger and eventually the way the mind works is the mind can only see something for so long before it has to hold it before it has to touch it before it has to do it the mind can only imagine something for so long before it has to bring it to fruition make it a reality materialize it so if I'm feeding lust in that way and I'm looking at a woman who was not my wife eventually my heart is going to feel compelled to touch a woman that is not my wife because if I'm watching somebody else and lusting after somebody else to be with my woman even before marriage would not be pleasing enough because I'm watching somebody else now I know this to be true about the mind the human mind but many will not admit that so I say I'm going to eliminate that I'm not gonna do that I never was into that anyways because I was more into the real deal but I had to grow there and say you know what I'm going to be a one-woman man I'm gonna be a one-woman man because who would I be if I am juggling women how can one woman ever fully truly give me her heart if I don't fully and truly give her my heart also what would my children say about me if they see their mother is in love with me but I'm not in love with their mother and if their mother has given her heart to me but I have not given my heart to her what type of example would I be to my son or to my daughter I don't have a daughter have two boys but when I made the decision to change I didn't know if a daughter was gonna come and that's what type of example would I be I read a quote one time in my development that said the best thing a father can do for his children is love their mother and you may disagree with that but I agree with it wholeheartedly because that is my children's first example of love that is their first representation of love so if I don't love my children's mother then what do I teach them about love if the woman who gave birth to them is not good enough for their father to love her wholeheartedly what do I say to them about love if I treat them like a mistake by putting them in their mother's womb and then walking out of her life what am I saying to my children about them about responsibility about self-respect about love about the act of sex about unity marriage commitment what are my action saying and yes I could chalk it up and say oh it was a mistake but that me admitting to a mistake does not heal the pain does not erase what the damage that has been done so I said I'm not gonna do that so I said I'm not gonna gamble because if I'm gambling then I will eventually be putting my family's financial future at risk I will be ruining my family's financial security and one day we could be left with nothing if I'm gambling then I'm operating from the wrong place in my heart and I am chasing a thrill I'm chasing pleasure and if I'm chasing pleasure then that means I have not chosen happiness and if I have not chose to be happy that means that my happiness is a contingency meaning my happiness depends on a response or a reaction from a feeling meaning that I need to have money to be happy or I need to win a game to be happy or I need to sleep with a woman to be happy or I need to have this car or that job or this person this spouse to be happy see if happiness is a contingency then you're miserable and you are actually chasing pleasure and pleasure does not lead to happiness it leads to pain so think about this and understand this and so I made that decision I won't gamble so I start to go through I say you know what I won't get high because getting high will be very similar to getting drunk I won't turn to a substance to alter the state of my mind trying to find peace or happiness because my peace and my happiness is my birthright and it is my choice so I do not need alcohol in a bottle to convince me that I'm worried free stress free and at peace I will not give a substance that much power instead I would give my mind the power over my life to name it the claimant to speak it into existence I am peaceful I am happy I am joyful I am blessed so I will take control over my life so that a substance does not control my life and I said I will not abuse my body with food meaning I will not be gluttonous I would not treat mistreat my body by binging and over eating to the point that it affects my health and it affects my image and it affects my self-esteem that does not mean I'm chewing on raw vegetables all day or eating like you know that some of the people ate in the Bible that doesn't mean that but what it means is everything must be in moderation so if I have a glass of red wine I'm not gonna have three glasses if I eat something that may not be the most healthy thing in the world like I bought me a piece of carrot cake and I'm tired of carrot cake up but I'm not gonna eat a whole cake or half a cake and I'm not gonna eat a cake every day a piece of cake every day so I decided that I would Buffett my body train my body and treat my body to the best of my ability like a temple I told myself that I would change the type of music I listened to because what goes in your eyes and your ears goes to your mind and your mind controls your life so if I'm only feeding myself all the time now I may study music or I may listen to music to hear what's going on in society but I am not indulging in the music for enjoyment if the message is contrary to the lifestyle I'm trying to live so I said I will not indulge in this toxic music same with toxic television shows toxic movies everything that goes in my ears in my eyes must be serving a purpose even if it is toxic it is for the sake of knowledge to understand what I'm up against in the world and how my life and my message has to counteract and go against the messaging that those who are watching me or looking up to me may be getting so that I can give a different message a counter message that gives them some type of balance and causes them to think about their life and their choices and their actions so I made that decision so I say this and I could keep going out and right in there this down so I'm kind of just thinking of top of my head but I say this because I decided to change my life and to become the prize but see guess what if I do all of those things then I want to attract that type of person in my life so I did not elect to ask me Tony well what qualities did your wife have that made you choose her as your wife made you want to marry her and the same changes that I was working on and growing toward my wife was in the same Lane so we're not perfect and she wasn't completely perfect but she was growing and wanted to grow so my wife does not curse which I'm happy about because I don't want my children to feel that it's okay to use profane language so when I go out to I remember my songs playing football and here he is 10 years old and all the boys playing and now even at 12 playing soccer all the boys will be over their plan and they don't think you could hear them my son doesn't curse and but I'm hearing the other kids f you you mf'er a SUP my mf'er I'm like wow but guess what their parents curves so if you're an adult you could do what you want to do but what you do your children do is you do not as you say do so they may grow up and decide to curse okay they're an adult they could do what they want to do I don't curse but guess what my parents didn't curse so that changed the way adults saw me because adults will be hearing teenagers cursing when I'm with my friends their parents here the other guy's cursing and don't hear me cursing they come to me and say Tony you are so well-behaved you are so respectful they go to my parents your son is so well baby he is so respectful people come to me and my wife all the time your children are so well-behaved it's because they are modeling their parents they don't see us loud and screaming and cursing and drunken act and I rating acting crazy and untrained and unlearned they don't see us acting like that so they don't act like that but if we act like that then they would act like that so my wife does not curse and I remember one time she she all she was driving and talking on the phone and somebody cut her off and we had just met maybe two or three weeks and she was with a friend who curse and get drunk and go - it was a roommate and it sounded like she said effort but she knew I didn't curves so as soon as I heard that f-word she hung up the phone cuz I think she realized oh wow this man hurt and it's not that big of a deal and I know some of y'all getting hung up on it right now but don't don't don't miss you know the forest for the trees and she hummed the phone and guess what from that day forward I never heard her say a curse word again and at that time I mean she probably really scared and it probably was something that she was doing 19 years old but she didn't curse I never saw her drunk not to say that she never got drunk she probably had a time where she got drunk but we would go out we go to the club and she may have a drink but I never saw her get drunk and I didn't really see her drink and today she doesn't really drink like if she have some wine if we had somebody house special occasion but you know why that's attracted to me because those things can lead to addiction and I and I was raised a while around women who were addicted to alcohol and they would drink non-stop and their behavior was reprehensible their attitude their language their lifestyle everything was just appalling what they would be drunk every day and these were family members so I saw that and I realized what could happen if you're given to that so I did not want a woman that would get drunk I really didn't want a woman that would even drink because I didn't even drink at that time but as I got older and I saw different social circles circles and that it could be social and responsible and that people were you know having wine or whatever or a drink responsibly I started to see it a little differently and but my wife did not have those areas that was not cursing was not getting drunk and she her heart was pure to the point that she didn't argue and debate she wasn't loud she wasn't obnoxious she wasn't rude she wasn't conniving she wasn't deceptive and manipulative now yes she was a people pleaser and a perfectionist so early on I would catch like little little small lives because she didn't want to disappoint me and I had to let her know like listen that's not something you gotta be worried about you know just talk to him about that somebody need to borrow some money just just let me know you know it's cool we'll talk about it and if the answer is no then the answer is no but that's something we gotta be on one Accord about if we're gonna be a team so I had to talk to her about that but she wanted to be a people pleaser sort of source she looked like she had a bag of money and a close friend come and asked her for some money she didn't want to say no even though when you're in a relationship and you got a budget and you one things you may have to say know so I had to help her understand that it's gonna be some things I want to do my boys may want to go to the club but if I'm in a relationship and my woman is not okay with me being in the club looking at booties especially if I'm not there to dance I'm a Wallflower so all I'll be doing in the club is looking at booties so if my woman is not okay with that then I gotta let my boys know I can't go and so that's what happens when you're in a relationship you have to make healthy compromises and so here I was I respected that I appreciated that now I take care of my body I could get a lot better now at 35 but at the time when I was looking for my wife I was completely ripped you know I had a 8 pack chest arms I took care of my body and when I talked to my wife I noticed that she wasn't the female version of me so her genetics is different than mine mine was really genetics I took care of my my body but it really was genetics because I didn't really have to do a whole lot for 8 pack I just kind of was like that since I was little and then as I played football at college I worked on it but my wife her body was not like when you look at a 100 meter runner in the Olympics and they have all them abs and they have these big old you know muscular thighs and these really real arms she was that's how I looked as a man but she didn't look like that as a woman and that wasn't a requirement of mine I just wanted to know that she took care of herself and so here's the thing and then there's something you know take is how you will but and also keeping mine I was 21 but I noticed my wife shave her legs that they would be so silky smooth so what is said to me is that her appearance means something to her and that is time consuming to shave your legs when you're especially having long legs so that's time-consuming I talked to other women who their legs had more hair than mine so when I looked at their legs and I and their legs have more hair than mine that threw me for a loop because I said hmm because the women that I saw growing up who legs had hair were typically women who didn't really take care of themselves so although these women took showers I did not understand why a woman did not shave her legs and so that would maybe go to not shaving under her arm or what have you so as a man I was looking like is beauty important is your appearance important and I was asking those questions and there's small things like that that meant something to me because I was taking care of myself and not letting my nails get dirty not letting my hair get you know gross and unwashed not letting my beard get scruffy and nasty you know I took care of myself you know my nails my skin my body I took care of myself so I wanted my equivalent so I say that to say when you look at your life are you taking care of you are you the prize are you growing are you doing what you need to do to be the best person you can be are you looking at the things in your life and see here what what I want you to understand is you need to be you need to strive to be at a place in your life that you can enter almost any circle and be okay what I mean by this is you don't want a behavior of yours or a character flaw of yours to block a blessing so you need to be able to cross over so I'm a Christian but atheist is not gonna hate me for being a Christian may not understand me may be confused may disagree with me but if I was rude and nasty and condescending and I was cursing people out and I was a drunk or I was a pothead then even that atheist may be turned off by me and not want to be around me because of those things not because I believe in a God because my belief in a God is not harming him or her but if I have poor character irresponsibility made bad decisions that could harm him or her a child is not going to be in harm's way mentally emotionally physically around me and a elderly person a person of a different race no one is going to be in harm's way or in danger or at risk of being influenced negatively due to my presence being in the room and that's what I mean by your character is evaluate your character and who you are as a person all the way down to your personality and your conversation skills and ask yourself where am i operating from and I still have to work on this today and it's always you will always be working on this but what I have to work on today is not being arrogant and what I mean by arrogant is not being insecure because when you are insecure it can give you you can act out and have a false sense of confidence so what I have to remind myself of is Tony you don't have to state everything that you are and everything that you've done when you go in a business meeting when you want to interview when you're doing this because Google Google to tell them all of that you can go and be humble unassuming reserved quiet respectful personable but where no accolades on your forehead and then when a person looks you up or or they ask around about you and then they find out more about you then they're like wow okay man this person did this or did that or has this or has that and didn't even didn't even brag about it didn't even bring it up didn't even talk about it man that's something so I have to remind myself for that because my insecurities may say you are poor DOM and country you come from nothing you don't have a college degree so people gonna see you as is unlearned as ignorant you got a country accent so people gonna think you don't that you don't know what you're talking about because your country so that insecurity will make me overcompensating and I struggle with that for years and I had to grow in that area so although I didn't get drunk although I didn't get high although I although I didn't watch porn although I didn't sleep around although I had worked on all those other things I still had to work on being secure and confident and okay in my own skin so you have to ask yourself where do I need work if you'd allow this person in the room then you are seen as the most obnoxious person in the room you are seen as the most insecure person in the room you are seen as the most ignorant person in the room the most annoying person in the room and you may look at it and say oh no I'm just funny that's just my personality that's just me you need to work on your personality see what we oftentimes say is that's just me and I'm not changing for anybody that's just me I'm not changing people say that all the time but no that's not that's not you that's the mediocre you that's the insecure you that's the attention-seeking you that's the broken you the hurting you the lost you that confuse you but see when you grow fully into you you can go in any room and make your way you could go in any situation in any viral environment and be okay it does not mean that people that there won't be people that don't like you because if you grow into you and you are who you need to be the people that don't like you don't like you because they don't like themselves when you grow into you and you are not intentionally or not even intentionally not even accidentally you're not hurting people you're not attacking people you're not being rude nasty mean condescending prejudiced racist you're not any of those things you are pure hearted you are honest you are open you're transparent you're real you're loving you're caring you're giving you're forgiving your gracious you're grateful you're blessed you're living abundantly you're positive you're peaceful you are all of those things the people who don't like you they have a problem with themselves and they have been running from their high itself they have not grown into who they're supposed to be hey I may go 45 so I pause me if you need to come back later but I want you to understand is that you have to grow now see hear me when I tell you this when you become the prize what you have to realize is that it depends on mostly your character now your character also is shown through how you treat yourself and how you treat others so you can be a great person to others but if you treat yourself poorly then your character is still out of line you can be you can treat yourself amazing meaning everything about you looks taken care of but the way you treat other people is rude and condescending your character is out of line now what happens is is when you become the prized character based you elevate to a new level and now you attract your equal you attract your equal in understand this just because they are your equal does not mean you are identical there's a difference so what I mean by this is my wife is not crazy about fried chicken like she can eat a bowl of vegetables I'm not crazy about a bowl of vegetables but every now and then I want to touch me a piece of fried chicken my wife is very energetic and sports games at my saws games I am very quiet and don't say a word out loud enough for somebody else to hear me I'm a cheer I'm a clap but I don't yell and scream my wife yells and screamed we are complete opposite there my wife is not was never promiscuous so she is conservative me I changed my life from being nasty being a little freak so we completely opposite there but what's happening is where our heart landed where we grew to our morals and our values are the same we are equals I don't get drunk she doesn't get drunk I don't curse she doesn't curse I don't smoke she doesn't smoke I don't gamble she doesn't gamble I'm not into porn she's not into porn I'm not into self-pleasure she's not into self pleasure you see our belief system around how we treat our spirit and people say not some of y'all just got hooked on that right there what I said now what's wrong with self the the issue that I see with it is that you are manipulating the body and the mind to respond to stimulation that is not from your spouse so now you become hooked on and open to and what happens that it actually starts to open you up and make you more adventurous which could lead to promiscuity so you have to tame your spirit your spirit man you have to tame that and make sure that you are in bounds with your thoughts and with your actions and think about this when you do that pleasure whatever whatever form it may be if it's not with your spouse when you do that you're chasing a feeling that feeling is to alleviate stress pain worry loneliness it's artificial it does not benefit you it does not benefit your life it does not add years to your life it alleviates your stress pain and worries momentarily but what happens is the more you give in to that eventually you want the real deal and that is how you find yourself on your back or on top of somebody else outside of marriage because you've already opened your body up to it and become used to it and accustomed to it and today it is a popular and promoted thing and people are saying do this to yourself do this to yourself please yourself get to know yourself out you're not considering what it's doing to your spirit and what it's doing to your mind and how you are altering and you are now becoming an addict for a dopamine release a serotonin release you're becoming an addict to a feeling to a Livie to alleviate another feeling that you are feeling and you're not identifying what that feeling is so go down the list in every aspect of your life and evaluate where you are before the new year before you going to the next month to the next year evaluate where you are in your life and see what areas you need to grow in and become the prize and when you become the prize truly become the prize not tricking yourself not lying to yourself but you truly are sacrificing you truly have tamed your spirit you've tamed your mind you've trained your mind and you're working on yourself in every area you elevate and when you elevate people who are not on your level emotionally and spiritually and mentally and physically although they may approach you if they spend a minute or two in your presence they'll quickly realize y'all are too different playing fields y'all on two different levels and they gotta either go grow or go settle for somebody on their level because you elevate think about it like this a more practical way to think about this is if you come up to a job and you just have your GED you got to start at this level with this pain but if you come with your bachelor's you start at this level with this pain if you come with your master's you start at this level with this pain if you come with your doctorate you start at this level with this pain you see how just an example now there are exceptions to the rules because I've been an entrepreneur for 12 years I could possibly go in and I built a brand in in the world I can go into a situation without a college degree and be more than someone with a master's degree but that's because of the results that I've shown but typically on average you are paid based on what you bring to the table initially what you accomplish the same thing happens in life is when you elevate to a certain level you're gonna get a different type you're going to attract a different type of person into your life and if you're already with someone and you grow you're going to outgrow them to where he or she won't even feel comfortable being around you anymore and you will not feel comfortable being around them and the two of you will then know that unless we're going to grow together then we're gonna have to let go so we can grow so I want you to understand this and really think about and ask yourself am I the prize and this painful if you got this far I put be blessed in the comments you really really do really doing the work and I appreciate you and I want and I don't want you to get hung up because it's easy to get offended and say oh well Tony I curse so you try to tell me I can't have a good man if I curse or a man say well man I smoke weed but what's trying to say I can't handle one in five smoke we look you can do whatever you want to do you can do whatever you want to do you mean but understand this you will attract what you are when I say that I don't mean who walks up to you I mean who you can actually be with so my point is let me let me help you understand this and don't get mad at me now don't get mad at me now don't get mad at me I'm just telling you I'm just telling you don't get mad with me not I what not I will not be with a woman who curses as petty as that may sound because to me cursing defiles the spirit and it corrupts the mind and it corrupts communication and it misleads the children and it can turn into violence or verbal abuse and it also represents immaturity and a lack of knowledge to express what's on your mind that's what cursing represents to me it may not represent that to you to you it may represent truth honesty communication passion emotion this that it may represent all of that to you guess what not to me so we wouldn't be together so that's what I'm saying so what that means is I wouldn't be your prize and you wouldn't be my prize I would never be with a woman who gets drunk I would never be with a woman who indulges in self pleasure or in pornography which is also self pleasure because I believe it manipulates the spirit the inner the inner man in a woman and it promotes promiscuity and it feeds lust and it entices lustful spirits so I believe that that act of pleasure should be reserved for your partner under a covenant meaning in marriage as I grew to that point I wasn't always there so you could be here today and you attracting what's here but if you grow to here tomorrow then now you're gonna start attracting what's here and then if next month you grow to here you're gonna start attracting was here just like your pay goes up every time you add a certification or a degree your pay increases every year you're on the job your pay increases so the more you grow the better your life is going to be so I want you to understand that you can do whatever you want to do but it does determine who you will attract in your life so you say Tony so you wouldn't be with a woman just because she curves absolutely yeah you're right and if she doubt attached to curse words then that says something about her if she can't eliminate that for the sake of the raising the children if she can't eliminate that for the sake of being able to compensate and communicate in every room with every age group with every religion with every race with every denomination if she can't let go of that for that then we see life differently I wouldn't be with one who smokes so it's a lot of women today that's sitting in there saying well hey I want a man like such-and-such man I want a man with that mindset guess what if that man with that mindset believes that smoking harms the lungs harms the esophagus alters the mind and shortens the life span so he does not believe in smoking so guess what he's not gonna be with a woman who smokes and so you have to understand and and vice versa if a woman does not smoke and she thinks is nasty she doesn't want to kiss a ashtray although all the rappers and athletes have made marijuana cool if she doesn't want her newborn baby with you to get a contact high studies show this read about marijuana and how it's in the pores and how it stays in the pores for a period of time that if you hold your baby that marijuana coming out of your pores and seeping into your baby skin and your baby getting a contact high your newborn because of your marijuana field pores what people don't think about that because it's just oh it says green leaf that's God that's God creation listen to me listen to I need to say oh we okay I've never seen a person coming to me and it stay the same it's a drug it is a drug call it what you want to call it it's a drug okay and it changes your personality it changes you as a person it alters your mind it changes your life it derails your life you become an addict because if you want to addict you wouldn't need it it's a drug you me so I want you to understand and just go down the list from what you may call the Patti the little small things - the major things go down the list and see where you need to change see where you need to grow so if you are not attracting the type of person meaning that the person who wants to be in a relationship with you if that person is not the type of person that you want to be with keep growing keep growing because we always have growth another thing I would not do I would not be with a woman who uses her body as bait online meaning that she takes pictures that has no purpose meaning she shows her butt in a thong bathing suit or she shows her backside in every picture to say look at my butt my butt is nice my butt is being come and get it oh because it serves no purpose and so that lets me know that she is objectifying herself because she feels and believes she is an object of affection and that that body part is bait to a man who is led by lust and guess what you got everyday women who are labeling themselves as classy and wife ready using their body as bait online and expecting to attract a mature and ready man and that type of man is not looking for that you got women online smoking weed huffing and puffing to look cool because reality television and rappers and celebrities make it seem harmless and so she promotes her smoking thinking that she looks cool but then says out the next breath she wants a good man but a man who was given to a addiction whatever a woman can suffer from gambling addiction alcohol addiction drug addiction anything a woman can suffer from it's magnified times 10 is I'm in a man across the board so if a woman is given to it if she attracts a man that is given to that same vice his experience with that vice maybe ten times more detrimental than her experience because a woman is actually more mature and has more self-controlled in a man and just think about it just look back through your family look back through your family and see that the difference between male and female addicts and the level that is taken to across the board see the difference between a violent woman and a violent man an abusive woman and an abusive man a man a lot of times is times 10 if a woman punches a man in his face and that man punches that woman in her face what do you think gonna do the more the most damage if a woman Gamble's and then a man Gamble's what are the stories that you hear about gambling on the news and people how it's going into foreclosure and and losing everything it's typically at the hands of a man but it's women who are addicted to gambling too but somehow majority of those women are able to keep their house keep your 401k keep their cars but the man so understand this and I want to make this he'll point and I talk too long man I talk too long Lord no I forgive me man I want to make this point though ladies because I know a lot of ladies watch this a lot of times women look at themselves and say well Tony I curse I smoke weed i watch porn I masturbate I go to a strip club I do this I do that but I'm not a bad person I could be a wife I could be a great mother I'm a great mother and a lot of times women look at what they do and think that if a man does the same thing that he still can be just like them but don't understand that what's in a woman's life shows up totally different in a man's life and if you want a man that's gonna be faithful faithful responsible and not addicted to anything other than growth then you have to become the woman that's equal and if you if you are a man and you want a woman that's gonna be faithful and responsible and trustworthy then you have to become a man that is the equal it is Tony Gaskins y'all please forgive me I did not I cannot believe that I talk 55 minutes but y'all forgive me and hopefully if you can get through this the first time you got to the end and i'ma tell you this I'm trying not to offend people but if you want to hear the truth I gotta share the truth even if it's only my truth but I'm speaking from a place of success in love in a relationship 13 years of marriage happy marriage it don't matter how long you've been with somebody of you ain't happy 50 years don't matter if there's been 50 years of misery two years a happiness is better than 50 years of misery so I understand that it is Tony guy since God bless you have a Merry Christmas if you see this on another day god bless you on that day too

Channel: Tony Gaskins

Views: 92,581

Rating: 4.9305587 out of 5

Keywords:

Id: UBAh4yU25VA

Length: 56min 10sec (3370 seconds)

Published: Tue Dec 24 2019