>>> AND NOW MSNBC'S SPECIAL
COVERAGE OF THE DEMOCRATIC DEBATE.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> HELLO.
I AM RACHEL MADDOW AND WE ARE LIVE FROM TYLER PERRY STUDIOS IN
ATLANTA. SO HELLO AND GOOD AFTERNOON.
I WANT TO START THE DEBATE WITH THE QUESTION ON EVERYONE'S
MIND -- WHO CAN BEAT DONALD TRUMP?
>> --- ME, ME, ME. MY HAND -- MY HAND WENT UP
FIRST. >> THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS, BUT
GO AHEAD. >> RIGHT, RIGHT, RIGHT.
LOOK, I KNOW IN PAST DEBATES I'VE BEEN ACCUSED OF BEING
OVERAMBITIOUS, RIGHT? I'VE GOT MOM HOSTING
THANKSGIVING ENERGY. I'M A LITTLE OVERWHELMED 'CAUSE
I THOUGHT TEN PEOPLE WERE COMING AND NOW THERE'S 30 MILLION.
BUT I PROMISE DINNER WILL BE READY IF YOU JUST GET OUT OF THE
KITCHEN AND STOP ASKING QUESTIONS.
AND OF COURSE, THIS THANKSGIVING I WILL BE COOKING MY SPECIALTY.
MAYBE DON'T SAY IT. THE FOOD OF MY ANCESTORS.
>> I'M GOING TO SAY IT -- MAIZE. >> OH, THAT'S A GOOD ONE, LIZ.
[ APPLAUSE ] >> SOUNDS LIKE YOU'RE IN A GOOD
MOOD TONIGHT, SENATOR HARRIS. >> OH, I AM.
I AM. THE FUN IS BACK, BABY.
AMERICA'S FUN AUNT. I'M ALSO AMERICA'S COOL AUNT.
THE C -- YOU KNOW, LET'S NOT DO THAT.
I'M NOT GOING TO WORRY ABOUT THE POLLING NUMBERS.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE FUN AND SEE IF I CAN GET SOME VIRAL MOMENTS.
MAMA NEEDS A "GIF." GONNA TELL MY KIDS THIS IS
MICHELLE OBAMA. ♪♪♪
>> MAYOR PETE, YOU'RE LOOKING ADORABLE TONIGHT IN YOUR LITTLE
SUIT. >> THANK YOU.
THANK YOU. IT'S FROM MY FIRST COMMUNION.
>> YOU'RE POLLING AT ZERO WITH BLACK VOTERS.
ANY IDEA WHY? >> MAYBE JUST BECAUSE OF, LIKE,
THIS. >> SENATOR SANDERS, YOU'RE
LOOKING -- >> YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> I WANT TO BEGIN BY THANKING
YOU ALL FOR THE WELL WISHES. I DID HAVE A HEART
ATTACK-ACK-ACK-ACK. SO, YOU OUGHT TO KNOW BY NOW I'M
DOING BETTER THAN EVER. DOCTORS WERE SURPRISED I MADE
IT. AND I'M VERY PROUD OF THE FACT
THAT I WAS THE FIRST HEART ATTACK PATIENT TO SHOW UP TO THE
EMERGENCY ROOM IN A CITY BUS. >> LET'S GO NOW TO SENATOR
KLOBUCHAR. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> THANK YOU, RACHEL. I KNOW SOME OF YOU THINK I'M
SHAKING BECAUSE I'M NERVOUS, BUT THAT'S JUST MY SIGNATURE
QUIVERING BANG. IT'S MY SPIDEY SENSE THAT
TINGLES WHENEVER WE NEED A MODERATE TO SAY, "GIRL, WE CAN'T
PAY FOR THAT." >> VICE PRESIDENT BIDEN, YOU'RE
FLASHING YOUR TEETH AT ME? [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> I JUST WANT EVERYONE TO KNOW AMERICA, I SEE YOU.
AND I SEE THE FACES YOU ALL MAKE WHEN I TALK.
YOU'RE SCARED. [ LAUGHTER ]
SCARED I'LL SAY SOMETHING OFF-COLOR OR EVEN WORSE -- ON
COLOR. WHAT I WANT YOU TO KNOW IS YOU
SHOULD BE SCARED BECAUSE I'M ALWAYS ONE SECOND AWAY FROM
CALLING CORY BOOKER "BARACK." [ LAUGHTER ]
>> OKAY. I'D LIKE TO RESPOND, BUT
FIRST BECAUSE THIS IS THE ONLY TIME I'LL BE TALKING I JUST WANT
TO SAY BLACK CHURCH, BARBER SHOPS, GREENS, BEANS, TOMATOES,
POTATOES. NOW TO VICE PRESIDENT BIDEN, I
WAS STUNNED TO HEAR YOU DON'T SUPPORT THE LEGALIZATION OF
MARIJUANA. IN FACT, REHEARSED JOKE, I
THOUGHT YOU WERE HIGH WHEN YOU SAID IT.
>> LET ME TELL YOU A STORY FROM MY YOUTH, OR MAYBE FROM A MOVIE
OR A CARTOON. I WAS WITH A BUDDY OF MINE WHO
GOT SO WHACKED ON THE STICKY ICKY KUSH HE SAYS, "I'VE A GREAT
IDEA. WE OUGHT TO GO TO WHITE CASTLE."
NEXT THING YOU KNOW, KUMAR AND I ARE DRIVING AROUND HIGH AS KITES
WITH NEIL PATRICK HARRIS AND THAT'S BEFORE HE WAS GAY.
THAT'S WHY I NEVER PUFFED THE STUFF.
>> WE ALSO WANT TO WELCOME ANDREW YANG WHO I CAN TELL IS
ALREADY MAD HE HASN'T TALKED YET.
>> NO, NOT AT ALL. IT'S ME ANDREW YANG.
I WANT TO SAY WHAT UP TO MY YANG GANG?
HEY, WHAT DO YOU SAY WE GET A YANG GANG BANG GOING, HUH?
I WANT TO TAKE THIS OPPORTUNITY TO ANNOUNCE MY VP, THE NEW TESLA
CYBER TRUCK. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> WE ALSO WANT TO WELCOME TOM STEYER.
>> HI, GUYS. I'M BILLIONAIRE TOM STEYER.
AND I'M RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT FOR A SIMPLE REASON -- IT'S FUN.
AND IT GETS ME OUT OF THE HOUSE. >> I'M SORRY, MR STEYER.
MY PRODUCERS ARE TELLING ME YOU HAVE TO BLINK.
>> I HAVE TO DO WHAT? >> BLINK.
YOU HAVE TO BLINK AT SOME POINT. >> OH, NO, I DO NOT.
AND I WILL NOT. >> DID SOMEBODY SAY BILLIONAIRE?
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> NO.
MAYOR BLOOMBERG, HOW DID YOU GET IN HERE?
>> WELL, I TIPPED THE DOORMAN $30 MILLION.
>> DOES THIS MEAN YOU ARE OFFICIALLY RUNNING FOR
PRESIDENT? >> I DON'T KNOW.
MAYBE. MAYBE NOT.
I'D BE HARD TO BEAT. I'D LOVE TO SEE TRUMP SUPPORTERS
COME UP WITH A CONSPIRACY THEORY ABOUT A JEWISH BILLIONAIRE WITH
HIS OWN MEDIA COMPANY. GOOD LUCK MAKING THAT STICK.
>> AND LET'S INTRODUCE UNDERDOG CANDIDATE AND TONIGHT'S VILLAIN,
TULSI GABBARD. [ DRAMATIC MUSIC ]
>> THANK YOU, RACHEL. WHAT AN HONOR TO BE ON THIS
STAGE WITH MY FELLOW CANDIDATES. I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I SMELL
YOUR FEAR AND IT MAKES ME STRONGER.
I'M WEARING THE WHITE SUIT OF YOUR FALLEN HERO,
HILLARY CLINTON. NOW FIGHT ME, COWARDS.
>> SENATOR HARRIS, WOULD YOU LIKE TO RESPOND?
>> TULSI, I'M GOING TO BE REAL WITH YOU.
YOU SCARE THE HELL OUT OF ME. YOU JUST GAVE ME ERMAHGERD,
GERSBERMPS. >> OUR NEXT QUESTION IS FOR
SENATOR KLOBUCHAR. DO YOU THINK YOU CAN GET THE
FUNDING TO STAY IN THIS RACE? >> I KNOW I CAN.
I'VE GOT $17,000 FROM EX-BOYFRIENDS.
ALL I HAD TO DO WAS THREATEN TO COME BACK IN THEIR LIVES.
>> OKAY. THAT BRINGS US TO TONIGHT'S NEXT
TOPIC WHICH IS HEALTH CARE. [ BUZZER ]
>> OKAY. I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU GOT
BUZZERS, BUT BERNIE RANG IN FIRST.
>> HERE'S MY PLAN FOR HEALTH CARE.
NO CO-PAY. NO OUT OF POCKET.
THE ONLY THING THAT COMES OUT OF MY POCKETS ARE TISSUES,
RECEIPTS, LOOSE COUGH DROPS, A MOVIE STUB FOR "FLORENCE FOSTER
JENKINS" WHICH IS SO-SO. AND OF COURSE, THE LITTLE BUTTON
IN THE BAGGIE THAT COMES WITH THE PANTS.
MOST PEOPLE THROW IT OUT. DO YOURSELF A FAVOR.
HOLD ONTO IT. YOU NEVER KNOW.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> MR. STEYER, YOU LOOK LIKE YOU
HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY. >> I WANT TO SPEAK DIRECTLY TO
YOU, AMERICA. HEALTH CARE IS IMPORTANT.
BUT HOUSING AFFECTS EVERYTHING -- WHERE YOU SLEEP,
WHERE YOU SHOP, WHERE YOU GET YOUR SHOES SHINED, WHERE YOU BUY
JEWELS, WHERE YOU RAISE PEACOCKS.
AM I RELATABLE? >> MR. STEYER, I'M GONNA NEED
YOU TO TAKE A STEP BACK. >> SORRY.
AM I TOO CLOSE? >> DID SOMEBODY SAY TOO CLOSE?
BROTHER, LIKE YOUR STYLE. LOOK, I'M SUPPORTED BY THAT SAME
COALITION THAT ELECTED OBAMA. BLAFRICAN AMERICANS.
EVEN THE MEXITINOS, AND THE CHORIENTALS.
HECK, THE ONLY BLACK WOMAN EVER ELECTED TO THE SENATE ENDORSED
ME. >> EXCUSE ME?
NO, NO, JOE. THERE HAVE BEEN TWO BLACK WOMEN
ELECTED TO THE SENATE AND THAT SECOND BLACK WOMAN -- IT ME.
♪♪♪ >> IS THERE STILL TIME FOR ME TO
COME IN LATE AND RUIN EVERYTHING?
>> NO. WE HAVE TO MOVE ON TO CLOSING
STATEMENTS. >> WAIT, I NEED TO QUICKLY THROW
IN SOME SPANISH, BECAUSE MIGUEL BLOOMBERG IS EN FUEGO.
>> OKAY. THAT COUNTS AS GOOD-BYE FOR YOU.
WE'LL NOW MOVE ON TO MAYOR BUTTIGIEG.
>> AMERICA, I KNOW I CAN DO THIS BECAUSE MY SUPPORTERS ARE A
DIVERSE COALITION FROM YOUNG TO OLD, GAY TO STRAIGHT, WHITE TO
EGGSHELL. THANK YOU.
>> TULSI GABBARD, TIME FOR YOUR CLOSING STATEMENT.
>> I HAVE NO INTEREST IN THOSE DALMATIAN PUPPIES.
[ EVIL LAUGH ] I YIELD MY TIME.
>> SENATOR KLOBUCHAR? >> LOOK, I COULD SAY A LOT ABOUT
THE ISSUES WE HAVE TALKED ABOUT TONIGHT, BUT THE SAD THING IS
YOU'RE NOT LISTENING TO A WORD I'M SAYING BECAUSE YOU'RE JUST
WATCHING MY HAIR DANCE ON MY FOREHEAD.
EXCUSE ME, MY EYES ARE DOWN HERE, NOT UP HERE.
>> SENATOR WARREN THAT BRINGS US TO YOU.
>> HEY, HEY, IT'S NOVEMBER AND IT'S CUSSING SEASON.
YOU'RE SINGLE IN YOUR LATE 30s AND I'M A SOLID OPTION.
IF IT'S MARRY, "F," KILL I'M AWARE I'M NOT THE "F," BUT I'M
DEFINITELY NOT THE KILL. SO COME ON, AMERICA, PUT A RING
ON IT. >> SENATOR SANDERS?
>> AS A LOT OF YOU KNOW, A LOT OF MY OPPONENTS LIKE TO THROW
THE WORD "SOCIALIST" AROUND FOR ME.
BUT LET ME ASK YOU, IS IT FAIR THAT ONLY THE TOP 2% OFTEN GET A
FREE BISCOTTI WITH THEIR COFFEE? WE WOULD ALL LOVE A FREE
BISCOTTI. YOU DIP IT.
YOU DUNK IT. IT'S DELICIOUS.
SO, IF THAT'S SOCIALISM, SIGN ME UP.
TELL ME THIS. IS IT FAIR THAT WHEN THE TOP 2%
WANT TO TURN OFF THE LIGHTS IN THEIR BEDROOM ALL THEY HAVE TO
DO IS CLAP? THEY'VE GOT THE CLAPPER.
SHOULDN'T WE ALL HAVE CLAPPERS? EITHER EVERYBODY HAS A CLAPPER
OR NOBODY HAS A CLAPPER, AND THAT'S THE AMERICA I WANT TO
LIVE IN. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> VICE PRESIDENT JOE BIDEN? >> THE HEARINGS HAVE MADE IT
CLEAR THAT DONALD TRUMP DOESN'T WANT ME TO BE THE NOMINEE.
VLADIMIR PUTIN DOESN'T WANT ME TO BE THE NOMINEE.
NOBODY IN AMERICA WANTS ME TO BE THE NOMINEE.
BUT I AM CONFIDENT I CAN WIN THE ELECTION IN 2016.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> AND SENATOR HARRIS, YOUR
CLOSING STATEMENT? >> THE DEMOCRATIC PARTY NEEDS TO
STOP TAKING BLACK WOMEN FOR GRANTED, SPECIFICALLY ONE BLACK
WOMAN -- ME. I MEAN, COME ON.
YOU SAID YOU WOULD VOTE FOR ME. ♪♪♪
>> WELL, THAT'S ALL THE TIME WE HAVE.
TOM, TAKE US OUT. >> GOOD GAME, GOOD GAME.
GOOD GAME, GOOD GAME. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
Wow cant believe they actually got Bernie Sanders to show up.
"I'm wearing the white suit of your fallen hero, Hillary Clinton!"
man the casting for everyone on this was spot on
heh
Who should we get to cameo this week?
Everyone.
Larry David as Bernie was pretty, pretty, pretty good.
That Gabbard impersonation. I had to do a double take.
Woody Harrelson as semi demented Biden is fantastic xD Quick, someone tweet @_michaelbrooks
Holy shit I could watch a whole hour of the Larry David/Kate McKinnon duo as Sanders/Warren.