#142 Tim Humble: Dajjal Netflix Show, Whispers of Shaytan, Initiatives for Sisters, Foster Care

good we want to live Salam o aleikum walekum Salam oh is that all over your shoulder it's my son's vomit I just realized as a nice yeah it's not for me it's milk okay so milk being get wet wipes it I know I don't know you can't know I didn't realize it same thing else on the camera the camera wasn't shame oh you doing that yeah yeah yeah all of my clothes like this now cover the milk he spits up a lot man yeah yeah hey snores any lyrics floppy larynx lungs very sloppy listen yeah how are you you good yeah yeah he jumped off the tour to shoot this then you going back on tour a bus everything now with the Boston 7c is so he dead but I'm driving myself today because it's only nest artist about our way and I wanted to do this podcast and he lost the last one this is today's date how's it been amazing man we're done Glasgow older Birmingham Cardiff London smash you've driven every Lea you've been out so the biggest one was London doesn't but if I'm about 4,000 people in actual we know that was nice but yeah my speech been fine Boyd you know the LA she I did the tool I was nervous speaking front of so many people and so I didn't get to enjoy as much girl so nervous this year you're professional I love you on stage and you'll feel it you know and you know I'd you how did you overcome that how did you achieve that you have to just do it's time fine so it's just experience yeah it's just peeling down to experience yes what is and you have no nervous at all before going on the tiny time you get nerves I think is when you first step on yeah and you know everything you're gonna say written down and not anymore no yeah by know what you know wonder say you have it remembered you know what to say yeah bother me you before you slat lost it was that very script yeah yeah yeah because I was nervous now I I yes I was just a joke with it cuz yes it was in Cardiff and that's why I used to live south western was like inside jokes about Cardiff yeah cuz they this road in Cardiff was City Road with his little barbershops yeah so they are can't older brothers have all been City Road last night because I was looking fresh and sometimes I didn't bust a little joke stuff there's nice man but when you feel more relaxed you can buy you can you your brain feels a bit more relaxed to make jokes and I mean I stood on stage and I was right I was telling them about how I am how we so tired from the tool and now I'm greeting you guys energy yeah I said I'm so tired at yesterday morning when I was getting ready for the London show after had a shower got my new via face cream and moisturizer and I started I said I find the whole tool if I think my hair is days but well that's not hide ample like no it's not driving on the m4 I was actually feeling so tired as dangerous how I was wrong what time did you get in last night no it's not I've got in around I figure I'm not half a leopard maybe it wasn't really straight to bed then up of what time yeah straight to bed I was up at six handed I was alright it's good I've had worse there's me somebody's brought we've been like we got to a city at like 3 o'clock in the morning and we've had to wake up pleasures we had like 4 hours sleep and so yeah basically it's fine my cuz it's a one week out of the year yeah so that's why it's fine if it was yeah yeah all the time is killing your diet is off you're not training nothing so yeah that's good yeah that's because of you I haven't seen here a hot minute I can't complain yeah everything's good last time I saw you you had maybe six tools now you got nine more birdy didn't have six those I had more than that you don't listen but yeah we've got nine hundred layer yeah no and the next one we're opening it in this month which is Naples in Italy hmm big door inshallah are you gonna be there if you're not again yeah of course I'm because our men's bar awards is the day after but I'll be there the week after that oh she's going out this to do a seminar and we're gonna go and do like a note never send me opening thing in Naples which is cool twenty twenty at the beginning of 2019 you know that you is gonna in that year get to the point where you'd have dinosaurs I actually own at ten yeah yeah but well you thought so well for you good luck to my goal was to finish the U of 10 we finished with nine and a half because the the tenth one is all lined up but it's needs to do a few little bit so technically kind of finished it with ten but it kind of wasn't at the same time but it's good type of goal and make sure you guys are high because you know if you just below your goal you still you know hamdulillah I'm happy I'm so what's to go forward this year yeah and how many this Gregorian year mm-hmm this glory in here this year bro I just want to see mince pie I just really grow internationally and just see it pop up in in multiple countries around the world and inshallah we've got some good plans so hopefully the next time we sit down and do a podcast which is mustard Chang we can obviously go over it'll be mobile or some really exciting plans will touch it next time because I think this but this this this episode is just purely purely based on the conversation we had which was fantastic so what are some of the stuff you suppose might say we spoke about breast milk yep we spoke about that the gel never do yeah which is what is it called you know if he's good the Messiah I'm sorry spoke about that parenting is parenting shaitaan yeah nufs yes everything we covered Oh initiatives for sisters yeah Muslim getaway camps in the Maldives yeah yeah which is really really a nice thought isn't it is if we spoke about very many beneficial things yeah this episode was we've Tim humble and we always love having him on the podcast as always and the audience always love hearing from him guys Tim humble has recently started a new YouTube channel and what we goodies we're gonna put a link for it in the bio of this YouTube video and in the bio of the iTunes video and Sharla but if you don't then I'm guessing that they can search Muhammad Tim on YouTube yeah they can search Muhammad Tim on YouTube and also the camp is that we discuss in the episode and there's gonna be a link for more information about that but definitely do that this is a very very positive good project and lastly if you're a fan of this kind of thing and you enjoy it freshly grounded and you want to support arts and you wants to continue getting good episodes out and great guests and just being able to support ourselves it always is we invite you to be a patreon or firstly guarded by being a patron or freshly grounded it cost around 500 miles you get every episode early first of all you also get a few other perks here there and we actually working this month on improving the system so improving perks that you give but more than anything that a 5-pound goes towards us not having to rely on private sponsorships asked not having to rely on you know just boring things and we put more effort and time into getting more episodes out quiet quality great content investing in our equipment so we can put the best quality equipment getting more cameras mics and cetera so if you're if you if you would like to take part in that that little five-pound don't belittle how much of a difference that makes I could sit here and talk about five pound equals two cups of coffee and a chocolate bar etc but we all know what five pounds five pounds of five are and and you can do that by going to patreon.com force that's freshly grounded advise you do that please do with that being said guys this is episode 141 no 142 a freshly grounded with Tim humble let's get into it I said welcome to freshly grounded after but the brand new podcast and offer but but best friend's face was sad you know we're on assalamu alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu a while a Coursera my life mental I hear what a cat how's it going good yourself yeah good good hey good good to be here I'm did way back and we joined by shock came humble who joined us in August this year so I haven't check I think that you is now I think the record I think fourth time you've been on this episode everything we've done something with anymore four times its impressive yes the fourth one yeah yeah and everyone that we have we enjoying and the people listening to Tom today law from dinner she's a Crocker for joining us well yeah it's always a pleasure it's awesome you just came back from the Maldives I did why what were you doing in the militia so we for a number of years now I've been doing camps for young young guys sort of usually twelve to nineteen bit of variation size a bit more a bit less and recently I this is the first one I've ever done by myself so basically without the backing of like one of the Islamic centers organizing all and so we ran a camp for twelve to nineteen year olds basically and we had an island which is right away from everything in the Maldives like totally separate from it from from the tourist areas and what have you and the guys just had six days of it was the most amazing time to be honest with you or hamdullah they obviously was Islamic cider beer the lectures and so on but there was a lot of activities a lot of good stuff we did snorkelling we did free diving they explored the jungle they climb coconut trees they I mean they just did all sorts of stuff treasure hunts and you name it so they had a they had a really good time so something I'm looking at doing throughout the year he shot allowed to add a fairly regularly vanilla in different places in the world but the Maldives was that that location was just it was amazing more all the most beautiful place in the world I've been to to be honest can I make a small request that you extend the age from 19 to 30 so I think so I could possibly come but that's actually something we're looking to do actually to be honest with you we're looking to expand beyond just the young guys inshallah so we're looking at things like options things like father-son comes things like getting the girls involved as well maybe father-daughter brother-sister type thing inshallah and something for families as well like Muslim families as well so there's a lot of potential to expand it to be honest what I feel it's it's a great chance to get away from you know the dunya and just away from you know the whole sort of just daily grind and work and what-have-you but also to get some Islamic knowledge but it's not it's not like going to a set like a seminar retreat where you just get in lectures morning and evening it's more like they're spaced out and they're themed around the activities and the things that you do with people so I mean Frank's our first went there the first thing I started thinking about in a few Hulk is somehow arty well of the or till I feel alien her diet in little L bath look at the in the creation of the earth and that you know the heaven that the the the day in the night is a sign for a people who think you think so hala you go to a place like that year on this beautiful like white sand and there's just this one swing that's like yes that on the sea with just your dislike you know traditional swinging just sat on there with your legs in the sea and you're looking and thinking if this if this is the duniya then how is gender and you're thinking if there if the if how great and how amazing the creation of alized and how amazing is the creator so there's a lot of lessons you can take in that what an amazing environment to be in because I often find when I'm by the beach looking out it's the water it's a time when I can reflect heavily upon the creation because it's just it's Jordan isn't it especially someone like the Maldives but as you were saying before the water is crystal clear it's almost is genre on earth is close to it's quite as close to heaven as we could imagine this is beautiful what made you pick the Maldives as a as a spot so I had been before to give some lectures there yeah and what you need when you do these kind of things you need a great local team you know you need people who have the local knowledge because as you know it's a popular tourist destination and we don't want to be in a place where you're surrounded by the tourists and then you have all the issues that those tourists bring in terms of Islam and things like that so we didn't want to take these guys and we tell them that the idea that the theme of the camp is reborn you're supposed to come back as a different person you're supposed to have tej deal Amman you renew your Eman you feel better you know you had it you feel more relaxed you come back with a fresh approach to life that wouldn't work if you come if you go there and you're in the middle of an environment course you know that's not right Islamic Lee so we had to have a local team of guys who really know what they're doing and they selected a location for us that was just amazing both the variation on the island was huge so we had like so many different activities but also the fact that it was an island isn't a major tourist destination it was a place where we pretty much I mean we took over the whole hotel we took the hotels to hotels on the island and one of them we just totally took the whole hotel from beginning from every floor every room how many people did you say there were we ended up with about 30 30 kids of our own and we added eight kids from the Maldives so we had about eight eight of the young kids from the island because one of the things we're looking to do is leave a lasting impression on the community there so that they don't feel like we come and just you don't wreck the hotel who leave you know they feel like we came and we gave something positive so I give a lecture there the last day to the Islanders likewise we brought some of their kids to take part in the camp as well so the local team is just amazing so one of the major factors in deciding was to be honest just having a really really good local team who can organize all of those things and the things that actually they went above and beyond our expectations the things they organized for the for the kids to do which was really amazing like it sure that they really understood how to reach these young guys and I think all the guys the amazing thing is when you first come you've got some I mean you've got a lot of people who are forced to come by the parents and we had one guy who you know Panama said look you know from the minute I just got on the plane I just regretted doing I was just like I should not have come here I should have said to my dad no and if you saw them on the last day the guys are just like I don't want to leave it was amazing I would I want to do it you know again that must really drive you to like change opinions yeah you want to change I mean it's you you want the parents put so much trust in you you know what to take you know you might change got some 12 year old kids who the parents have sent even younger we had a couple of 10 year olds as well do you have some support stuff with you yeah we have a really good core team yeah so the core team is not I mean myself I take care of the religious side yeah but we have an amazing marching might might my spearfishing instructor is one of them one of the main team members and he's an amazing guy just the fact that you do spear fish you get itself is just like such a humble thing sir is it my spearfishing instructor who got me into it he takes care of all the fitness stuff mm-hmm and Marsha is an amazing brother and he he he's really into his Dean he loves its Islamic history but he's also an amazing guy when it comes to fitness guys like crazy when it comes to you know fitness when it comes all kinds of fitness he was a you know award-winn tennis player back in the day then he became diving instructor extreme sports skydiving you know does all that stuff you know so he's a real inspiration to the kids because not all of them want a imma start to inspire them right like some of them just want to get themselves fit they want to just change their you know change their approach to life you know maybe get out get off the computer games and you know see the world for a bit so he takes care of that stuff we have really lovely brother Abdullah who takes care of just organizing the whole thing it's just the most organized person that I know just everything is just he takes care of the organization and then you have the local team so the local team we had was about eight people maybe more maybe even ten local guys who travelled actually it's holiday they stopped there they took time off their jobs because the way the Maldives work a lot of people work in Mali in the capital and they because the islands can't support like everyone who lives on the island to work there so a lot of them travelled to the capital city for work they all took holidays they came over and they really you know was it was an experience an amazing experience in so you'll think you'll go back to the Maldives again I'll definitely shot we want this to be at least a once-a-year thing for the Maldives maybe even twice and then we want to add a couple of different locations we we've done in the past Montenegro we I did Bosnia you had some issues with getting the kids to Bosnia some some visa issues at that time but Bosnia was amazing really amazing especially in the winter I thought it was amazing it was really amazing the Muslims they are fantastic I mean to go to the last place in really in in mainland Europe where you have a a city where you can hear the Adhan is it's really amazing and there's a Islam is having a bit of a revival over there to be honest there's a lot of people starting to practice that Deen taking it seriously so again you know like that would be a beautiful place to go I had a really good time there so we're looking at sort of a few locations and just getting people to go regularly and mixing it up not always just the young guys the young guys I think you start with that because it's it's easier for us it's easier to manage and hamdulillah like it's worked well in the past but I think we've got to expand it now we've got to realize that there's a bigger segment of the community needs things like this in Charlotte either so do you think that you mentioned kind of father-son staff and the father door and just like kind of improving relationships within the household do you think that we need to put more of an effort on fixing the household generally as a most as Muslims because we do sometimes I have great relationships outside of the house and not great relationships inside the house but then we don't look - we don't look to fix them it's very true because I think a lot of people also have that kind of dual personality as well they're a different person outside - how they are at home with the family family's so important I think you can see for example a la Soprano Tyler said yeah you had latina M&O cool and full circle well he come now save yourselves and your family from a fire whose fuel is men and stones so ultimately you look at yourself you make sure you're safe because you can't save someone who's drowning if you're drowning - right you got to save yourself when you yourself are at a stage where you're relatively comfortable you know and perfect you're at a stage where you know you have a degree of sort of stability and comfort you start reaching out to help other people and the first people you look to helps the family and then you talk about silat or ahem building the ties between family members and how important that is in Islam I think one of the things we've suffered from the most in the West generally and I'm talk about Muslims non-muslims is the breakdown of the family structure and I think as Muslims we're in a lot better situations and then a lot of the non-muslim saw and one of the things you see you know if you look at for example if I look at my my grandmother sort of time and things like that and how the family unit was and then I look at my parents and then I look at now how it is there's a huge in the UK especially is a huge breakdown of just the family you know just people being together as a family and for a lot of people and sadly we know because the Prophet says I'm tall is let's at tabby are necessarily mankind a cobbler come you're gonna follow the people who came before you that we as Muslims are experiencing or going to experience that breakdown as well is reemployment what do you think that what actually do know I'll pop that question because it was um there's something come over to now because we were talking a bit about family we were talking about something last night that that triggered my kind of thoughts to be and it was about fostering and adopting and stuff and the brothers were saying that there's not enough Muslims who are fostering or adopting and I don't really know the difference of between the two other then one of them do but I think way is it adoption you say that you can make the decisions for the person for the child well fostering I think you just look and then I said to the person I said but well when you Foster and I think this is a really common and ignorant thing to say but it's I was saying surprising that but at some point don't you have to Dinn let the child go without for example when the child hits puberty or something like that and in this men and women house and it's not it's not I don't know how any of it works do you how does that work and then doesn't don't you doesn't that deter people like is that would you say that that's probably the main reason that people don't Foster because they don't want to raise a child up to 16 and then like the child can't be with them anymore or something again I'm asking for a completely ignorant and like inexperienced position and but if I imagine that fostering adopting is something that I would never I wouldn't necessarily cost out as something I would never do I could imagine myself considering it but I I imagine that the number one question I would have would be that question then so I think with with fostering it tends to be more it tends to be more temporary not always but it tends to be sort of the aim is that you're sort of a custodian for the child for a temporary period of time and then the child will eventually move on adoption is something more permanent where you basically take on the role of you know being a second parent to that child on a permanent basis at least that's what I saw I had some my wife's family members who did it for a while so that's what I understood from it there are I mean first of all we have to recognize the need there's a huge need and the fact is that whatever you know even as much as a foster carer is taught to respect people's other other people's religious beliefs and accommodate them you're going to be influenced by who you're around and put in a Muslim child into a non-muslim household as as respectful and as kind and as considerate as they are for that for his belief and as much as they're trained to be it's not ideal it's not ideal for them and and I think generally social services recognize that you know I have to give him credit for that they you know there's a drive to recruit more Muslim foster carers and more people who will adopt Muslim children so that they can have the kind of environment that they would have with their parents at home saying it's really important and I think that importance why I mentioned it first of all is that gives you kind of an understanding that if that importance is there we have to find solutions it's not enough to say oh there's a problem with a muharram or how we're gonna we've got to find a solution to that because there's such a need for it and the need is so strong that we we're forced to kind of give it consideration we can't afford to just turn around and say oh well you know what it's not gonna work because of one two three I think if the child is adopted very young I think fostering as I said is not so much of an issue because generally you're more of a custodian for a temporary period of time and by the age of eighteen the the child then is sometimes you know with bustering you what you see is you see that the chime I only be with them for a very short period of time they might be only with them for six months or a year or three months or you know I they're a different lens of time but it's more of it's more of a case that you're looking after that child like you might send your child to stay with an uncle or an aunt or something like that for a temporary amount of time and then they they sort of come back whereas adoption is something quite permanent alternative like you're now taking you now become the second almost like a second parent for the child right and that's a sort of a permanent relationship that's formed so that's where the real problem if you adopt a baby it's not such an issue because you have the issue of for example you can look at whether you could establish mahom ties through breastfeeding for example which is something that a lot of Muslims don't know about but it is possible to establish maram ties by having the baby fed by you know one of the women in the household and so on which would establish certain ties of of of that child being like being a mom to them and so on so there's there are like there are ways around it's easier when it's up when you're talking about a baby would that literally would equal the same Harmattan relationship as a normal child exactly the same yeah it would and then for the part with them for the brothers and sisters as well yeah broadly speaking it's a little more complicated there are some situations because there are times when for example if the person who who feeds the baby is not is not the let's say the the warmth the the mother of the household sort speak it could be her sister then it can be a little slightly more complicated than that because it's not always that she's available to be able to feed the child but it might be that her sister feeds it so there are some it can get a little complicated but generally speaking the idea the concept of it is that whatever is established by you know feeding a child you know certain number of feedings the same that establishes the same as a blood tie it's interesting because when I was a slightly off topic but when I was in Umrah recently one of the brazos we've had a few children he was talking about how he's tried his wife's breast milk a number of times and he liked he liked it and you kept talking about it one of the brothers then took it to someone and asked the question can you drink your wife's breast milk is it allowed to I think the answer came back was if you would can you continue drinking it technically it means that your wife could become your mmm mum obviously not as simply as that but that was that was the proper answer back it wasn't that it was a I've done know exactly what the answer was but it wasn't it was on the foundation of you keep having the breast milk that's definitely not it's not it's not the purpose for which our lives which I've created right sure but generally speaking I lost panatela the the rules of establishing your ties only work when the child is at the age of of being fed so less than two years of age in fact some of the scholars mentioned if the child is fully weaned even a year and a half where they're they're no longer the milk they're no longer primary source of food then even then some of the scholars didn't count it as establishing the ties of being a muharram but for this kind of situation and even you know not just this kind of situation but you know what you have this issue of the cousins who you know you have those close-knit families that all live together and you know you have the especially in another age like yeah in in the Asian community right you do think about it would be so sensible at times like if they you know if they don't want them to marry later on and they don't want to have this issue of the hey job and so on so forth it would make a lot of sense for the mother of one of them to feed you know the other saw that they can then become brother and sister by by ties or breastfeeding and alhamdulillah that would solve the problem right you wouldn't have these whole cousin thing oh she's my cousin and saving over any expenses isn't this is an issue for people right now you're right you're right have you ever considered have you ever had that conversation - about like fostering and adoption yeah I mean yeah my grandma adopted all her children but one my mom's adopted and it's very interesting listening to her and why she did it and and and seeing how that family worked and I said to my wife that if for any reason that we can't have her children I would definitely adopt a child I said that I would yeah I think more so like you think about my house I said I'll emphasize on looking after orphans children in general I think can you imagine the reward of adopting especially orphans and that intention I always looked at it as just that if I couldn't have my own children are very happily adopt I think it's in my family it's something that I'm aware of from being young adoption is and the importance of it and I definitely would adopt but hundred I've able to have two children I probably wouldn't add up now because I don't need to be necessarily but I think it'd be amazing thing to do for sure yourself yeah I might at first I haven't had the conversation with my missus like in depth I think like we I think once we brushed over the conversation and we were both we both didn't close the door on it but I I haven't thought by deep enough - yes you say that yes I do but I think yeah definitely I think if in the situation when you couldn't have children you'd be looking for your alternative even without that yeah I think that I I can understand it from the angle like how austere Tim was saying they require that there's a need for it and I get that that is a need and there's a Muslim children who are going to grow up that they can be taught their religion by their by Muslim I did and there's there's amazing households where there's like non-muslims are bringing up Muslim children and they actually teaching them they're learning about their religion so they can teach it to their kids so they can keep their faith but it's still not enough really is like et ideally you wanted a Muslim trial to go up in Bari is it yeah you hear about that like you didn't teach them their religion because they want them to keep their culture and they gonna keep teaching stuff like that but you know what how much can they redirect her to to raise a Muslim child not being Muslim to encourage them to to do everything that Islam requires for them Salah everything I can just mention that been so difficult later on down the line when you were trying to encourage a young child to do fire all this kind of things when you're not doing yourself yeah yeah I just couldn't imagine like a Majan very young teaching them the pillars from the pillars it's very easy but then it comes to it like you're gonna go wake them up for the hazard come on you wouldn't because you'll be sleeping yourself yourself don't think this you mean if you're long enough and that's why that's the biggest problem is the problem here is that there they'll educate the child because they see that to be their responsibility but the choice of whether to practice where as a parent would encourage and even you know sort of not put pressure but would would really strongly encourage their child to do those things whereas there's not that encouragement won't be there from someone who thinks that their or their only obligation is just to like I just tell you that your religion says but if you grow up in a household where you see your parents praying and you see them physically doing the things that's that's gonna yes mean you you follow it around province someone to take teaching about certain things and then also you can't ask those people also not to do the things that they're gonna do so you imagine these an honest in foster carers are also celebrating Christmas and yeah you know what have you it's very confusing you know they celebrating Christmas and Eid then if they have something probably Diwali oh okay and everything else also they've got like it's very very good it's a very confusing environment and I think foster caring is in a way is more approachable for a lot of Muslims because of the temporary nature of it the fact that you could potentially take a child for three months or six months or a year or two years that's like to start with people might get hurt at sick I'll get way too attached yeah I just read in child and in like about temporarily I know you can still see it at all especially if it's a girl like in the sense that like a forward or asleep like you want to protect the girl and staff but in obviously once a girl gets older you can't we just go and see her you know I mean because I'm sure if you have the relationship as that father and daughter and it meant that much I'm sure you could you're saying but yeah if you had a real tight bond with I don't know even can you it foster and then possibly adopt later I don't know you still will be adopted no you need to either establish that relationship or then the issue becomes a bit more difficult there go back to the father and son camps in the father-daughter camp since before we drag a photo of you that we have the I think it's amazing that the idea is to like do these camps where for example you can build a strong bond because we spoke on a podcast about a year or two ago about how in America this was being done despite my group it was like a organization who was doing these camps for fathers and sons to like increase the bond between fathers and sons and it made a massive difference because there is as a as a son grows older there is like this like perhaps friction that often occurs in families between the father and child perhaps like the father his expectation that my child is gonna be able to start like start transitioning to providing for a family or the son feels like too much pressure from the dad and in there becomes friction right and so at that point when then perhaps like becoming like late teens to come in and say let's work on this bond I think is really really important and I think something that now I'm thinking about more than ever because I want to make sure that I like raise a career and like the best way possible would so that everything I think now is out like with that in mind yeah it's a definitely I think that it's surprise really it's really needed and also the issue from an Islamic point of view is often the father wants good for their child but they don't often know how to actually because they themselves are not necessary and you often have a situation where the child might actually be more knowledgeable about Islam way more knowledgeable than the parent is but then the child still has to obey the parent and there's still at that parent relationship that respect is there that's a difficult situation that need you need help to kind of develop that in a good way that it doesn't it doesn't go wrong but usually a father might you know encourage the child to study to memorize Quran when we they're not studying maybe encourage the child to pray when they're not praying for example so we saw that also when we hand these kids back we take these young guys and we give them back to their parents we see also that the problem they have is often very man has gone up and their red to make changes but sometimes the parents are not really what we like willing to or able let's not say willing they're not able to support their children to make those changes they go back into the house and it's the same situation so we started to think well if we're gonna deal with this we probably need to deal with it from the point of view of the parents as well as as well as the younger kids and definitely as well I major emphasis has to be we have to do things for for the girls for the sisters because things have changed the reality of the situation we live in the environment we live in is that if we ignore them you know they they get in that Tara beer and that that education from from from elsewhere and the experiences they're having right now are very similar to what the young guys are going through it's not the case that the girls are sheltered and protected and the guys are you know exposed to all that stuff but finding a way to do that without compromising on Islamic principles is not easy and it's something that we held back from for for years and years thinking how can we do this without compromising because obviously we can't do with them what we would do with the guys I can't take him swimming and snorkeling and you know because I agree sure that they're sisters I even agree that the sisters are being neglected a lot with regard to tar wheel but then there's the issue of Tim humble can't go and have that time we who really want to want an example that you would have with the young guys and you know what yesterday I was in Cardiff and after we played ashore they was telling us that there was so this is so amazing what they did there's a group of older sisters so these are sisters who are like married they have children etc yacht but still young right you know there was a no there was not like in their 50s and stuff there was like maybe like late 20s that kind stuff and these four or five sisters put on this weekly thing where they get a group with all the all the sisters in the community together and they like 15 plus so it's like the general age like 15 to 21 so that age that we really require that Todd be up because we got all these life changes happening and they just spend time of them they talk to them they do activities they sometimes have speakers come in and so yesterday was the day so when I was at Masjid yesterday which is Wednesday so Wednesday must be the day because they were doing it yesterday and I remember saying I said it's amazing because I feel like initiatives like this and required more in London because their sisters the older sisters there have taken responsibility for it and they've said why we're gonna make a change we're gonna we're gonna change this and now those 15 euros to 21 euros have somewhere to go every week where they get that reminder of a lot and it's also not like it's not a helical or like a like a lecture series it's just sisters and we all here for each other it's really important I think the issue is that the lectures are hamdullah like giving lectures and classes conferences hamdullah it's going on and and the brothers and sisters both benefit from that alhamdulillah but there's a need for that those personal relationships to develop and for that we need we need sisters and for that we need sisters of knowledge and and that is something which is another problem we have is that the generally the education in terms of Islamic education of the sisters generally speaking you know broadly speaking very generally you know totally generalizing it does lack behind that of what the brothers have the opportunities and such so we need to correct that issue as well there's a lot of things and I'm that is not like there is also not available the resources are available you know we have means that that make things so easy to do but we need to take those and we need to take take it seriously so I would definitely encourage everybody who has the ability to do something in that regard to look at what needs to be done and to take some steps towards supporting the sisters because right now we're a stage where we have got some really good programs for brothers in a lot of different places young brothers but ultimately we need to have we need to have those things for young sisters as well but we need to do it in a way that doesn't compromise their Dean or our Dean doing it and that requires extra level of thought that you don't need to worry about with the guys but it is possible to do and that's the conclusion I've come to studying and looking at it is that it's possible to do be even in light Allah this year we're gonna we gonna try and and set something up but I would encourage I think in dowry it's not about one person doing it's not about Mohammed Tim setting something up where there's a program for sisters and there are sister's leading it taking care of it how many times one person in one place it needs to be done and replicated around the world that's what that was like right I was thinking about this is this is a concession I shouldn't really be putting on the effort first time because we heard about it I was thinking about like the consideration of doing oh that's what I think about the consideration of having like a sisters version of freshly grounded but so two sisters and to avoid the the fit turn of the obstacles I have a waiter because podcasts are audio only anyway generally we asked doing video podcast like an extra added side secondary anything right but called you're only version four sisters by sisters who are like our age who have gone for experience and like you said who said like someone who they whose sisters have to listen to on a regular basis rather than because even we hear that the sisters want to be able to hear from sisters and so I was thinking like if there's a way that we can implement that and have like a have that project going in like an audio version of or audio only podcast similar to going back I think just the difficulties like I said but whenever you're gonna do something for the brothers you don't have to give it that extra step of thought when you're gonna do something for the sisters you have to give it that extra step and think in what way could this go wrong or in what way could might dis not work and then try and find solutions for that do you like even the call even the communication between us and the sisters who will be doing that dude I mean we have does even like another consideration sure I also wanted to cut it was anything I say you want to mention about that I'll just ganache are you planning on doing a sisters only camp is that something that you're trying to so we're definitely looking at how it can be done how it can be done right now we thought about possibly doing a brother-sister thing so the issue is is obviously having a matter on there we thought about possibly father/daughter thing we always thought about doing things in a more local setting we have the team in terms of a sisters team we have we have really good sisters volunteers who can replicate everything that we do and can do it inshallah Allah will do a better job than we would as well you know we have that team but the question is now just how to organize it because I don't want to start something it's gonna compromise the their Dean or mine I don't want to start something that's gonna start how many people start things with a good intention and they don't achieve the reward that they hope from it because their implementation of that good intention wasn't right so I'm not something that you know I'm delivering my word he mentioned when he saw those people making dhikr in the message it and it's mention internet dari me they were making Vika in the Masjid and they were doing it in the wrong way and they said yeah after Herman Maradona in La Jolla they said we only wanted good which is here to make the cut we're here to do something good and he said there's everyone who wants to achieve good orders everyone wants good achieve it so we have to kind of like it needs some thought to do it in the right way to do it in a way where the parents of yours like this is like this is not right you know where people don't come everyone from the community the parents the people involved and more importantly in the sight of Allah is something that is is praiseworthy people might say well you know should you even give it consideration but for the issue that I have is that these are people who are already experiencing the same thing that those young guys are experiencing the same fit and the same trials the same problems and as kind of just you know closing our eyes to it and saying well you know you know what car enough people you can just you know remain in your home and you know you'll get the terapia there if that was happening we wouldn't need to have this conversation but reality is it's not happening and the same problems are good they're going through the same things that the young guys are going through so we need to do something but we just need to do it in a way that's pleasing to Allah so that needs Tiny's thought and I'm planning hamdulillah like for example in the Maldives those guys are fantastic they're saying look we've got an entire team of sisters who can do all the same activities that you would do with the brothers they can do it for the girls and they can do it in private areas - are away from away from the guys and in a way that won't compromise they're you know they're Danish Allah so that's something to look into but again I'm gonna be super cautious on it I'm gonna study it check it double-check it speak to our michype make sure that it's being done in the right way because ultimately I won't do something it's gonna benefit me okay or something that's gonna go against me especially when you start opening those doors it can be very dangerous right yeah you gotta be you gotta be super careful and that's I think that's like something really beneficial you can say with whenever you talk about relationships between men and women be it like I'm talking about like a relationship in terms of you know working with someone being in the same school as someone the problem you have is not that in of itself but it's what that leads to when you open the door you open the door human beings are human beings you know you open the door and it's the tiny amount and you know sometimes the polite can't be closed after that so it needs it needs to be done in the right way but I would love to you know I ask Allah so just to give us a tell vehicle to be able to do something for for those young girls because there's a there's a real desperate need for it online we're talking about the kind of door opening and and being careful enough is good because I wanted to cry move the conversation over to someone we all know very very well but who for me know us but the chef on there the just before we started put classical we're talking about the sugar heart and Dao Dao sand and which worsened the whispers of Shaitaan this is such a big conversation and I know we did we used to discuss it lost an ear on the podcast we did but that was kind of more we were discussing the gene in the show the shape on and the thing that I wanted to kind of speak about this time was and the reason I say I don't want to I I know that this is something that you yourself have done a lot lectures on and that's why when you're here you know the Shaitaan is is our enemy and so they say you know you should know your enemy and stuff and we don't speak sometimes by enough because obviously there's a fee when you speak too much about chest on you don't want to just start have a negative connotation and start thinking everything is to dushaan etc however when we have you here who has delivered extensive lectures only it's only white maybe remind ourselves of knowing our enemy right now the whispers and stuff like that that's kind of why I won't speak but there's no brothers and sisters who go through oh I ask to you perhaps even in Val what are the most common things that people above ancestors generally go through and with regards kind of the the whispers and doubtful matters and stuff like that what do you find out the most common so as you said the Shaitaan is our enemy right Allah said in the shaitaan alaikum I do one feta he do I do your Shaitaan the Shaitaan is your enemy take him as an enemy behave as though he's your enemy so exactly as you said knowing your enemy preparing for how he's gonna attack you that's part of taking him as your enemy if you see him as an enemy a lost old you is your enemy and you take him like that then that's how you're gonna behave you're gonna know how he's gonna attack you and you're gonna know who he is and what he uses and the Shaitaan the the thing that he has or the ability that Allah has given him above anything else is the ability to appeal to your nafs Allah so Jay Sedwick allah shaitaan remark OD el amor inna llaha wider kumara del Haku over I took him for a life to come baba cannily alaikum in Sultan Allah and arrow to confess depth only fell at aluminum aluminum for sacrum man and I be more sweetly come woman and to be mostly in Nika fall to America to moon cobble in in a volume in Elohim either one and him allah azza wajal said the Shaitaan is gonna say when everything is done Allah promised you and his promise was the truth and I promised you and I broke my promise so that tells you the Shaitaan is gonna promise you things he's gonna set you up with certain promises and certain things and he's gonna break that promise always breaks promise and I never had any authority over you except that I invited you and you answered me so don't blame me but blame yourselves I'm not gonna save you and you're not gonna save me I've disbelieved in the fact that used to make me a partner with Allah before and the oppressive people are gonna have a severe punishment but what I want to focus on is this statement that were my cannily I leave come in Sultan I didn't have any authority over you Allah and Dow to come by called the Shaitaan is always going to look to take advantage of what is in you what your character is like and it's like a Salesman that knows the customer you know his customer very very well he knows exactly the things that are gonna that you are vulnerable to and so in different people he picks the vulnerability that is suited for them as an example some people are vulnerable let's say for example they the idea of let's say alcohol appeals to them at some level maybe they tried it before maybe they had been in a culture where they were drinking before and they'd quit whatever the Shaitaan knows that they have a vulnerability to that so he attract he makes it attractive to him you know the one who is addicted to gambling for example he makes that attractive to them whereas the one who has no concern over that you know there's some people you could put them in a bar they would never look at anything right it's not it's just not in their Neffs the Shaitaan just doesn't bother with that particular thing instead he goes for what is what you are vulnerable to and there are some things that human beings are more likely to be vulnerable to like more of us are vulnerable to than others you know particularly issue of for example the relationship between men and women that generally tends to be something real effects almost everybody but likewise the Shaitaan is gonna pick certain things and one of the things that the Shaitaan does is Shaitan basically works through two ways right he works through desires and he works through confusion so a kosher hot sugar hot he works through desires in other words you kind of know you're not confused right you know it's wrong for example talking about a relationship and the guy knows this relationship is wrong he doesn't need anyone to tell him that it's Haram he kind of has a feeling in himself he knows it's wrong and the Shaitaan just Kindles his desires and just pushes him for the point look you make Toba later you know it's wrong you know have a little bit fun now you can't resist that way the other one the shade plant gets them with confusion so this person is confused so this is where you get people who when you talk to me see but brother you know this is it's not right right what you're doing is wrong no it's not wrong because dr. dick Shaitaan has confused them and here in one of the types of confusion is that he confuses them in their acts of worship so he makes them think they haven't prayed properly or they haven't made wool properly or he makes them doubt you know they're some acts of worship they've done or repeat them again and again this is part of the whispering that the Shaitaan has but it's just a part of that whole framework of the main job of the Shaitaan is to invite you to something that you are vulnerable to and your main job is to resist that right and he does that through either kindling your desires or either confusing you and one of the ways it can confuse you is to confuse you a badass in the way you perform your prayers and things like that so can you talk to us about and what you're doing two scenarios the first scenario how to protect yourself to the best ability against it getting to that point and but and secondly what to do and how to protect yourself if you've already if you already at that point now what steps can you take if you're in that boat so people always gonna be one one of two parts right so how are they specific to the confusion like the issue of confusion yes so I think there's an ayah that just gives you everything you need it's the end of surat al-a'raf allah said in alladhina Takao either master home tour if on min ash-shaytani tell Vacarro for either home observe on this i i think if you understand it everything you need is there those people who fear allah so that's the first thing you're gonna need is taqwa and tough well generally you're gonna need to do your best to obey allah do your best not to disobey allah that's the first thing you're gonna need when they're touched by the whispering of the Shaitaan some of the scholars said typhi it means the whispering or the confusion from the Shaitaan Teleco here the scholars of teff see that had too broadly speaking two different opinions about it one is that the word tell that Carol means to remember Allah so that's one solution is be a person who is in always remembering Allah that is one of the things that's gonna protect you so taqwa is gonna protect you remembering Allah is gonna protect you and the third one is that some of the scholars see they said the telecare means they remember that this is coming from the shaitaan so be conscious and be aware that these thoughts and whisperings are not from your own self they're not it's not real what you're experiencing but it's the Shaitaan who is making you feel like that if you do those things fatty that homo zero and they'll be able to see clearly so three things that are gonna benefit a person generally speaking number one doing the best to obey Allah as much as possible that's gonna reduce the influence of the Shaitaan if the person's already having these problems it's gonna reduce them if the person isn't is fearful of falling into them it's gonna keep them away number two remember I'll always be remembering Allah always remember Allah even when it comes in your mind remember Allah when you feel confused to remember Allah when you feel like you've been influenced by the Shaitaan to remember Allah and remember this is coming from the shaper remind yourself this is not coming from you it's not for you it's not you know this the thoughts in your mind this is not you it's the Shaitaan who is making you feel like that and that will allow you to be able to see the situation clearly that's a very general discussion and now comes out or like the specifics of someone who's going through these problems there are certain things that will really benefit a person I think number one that I always tell people is apart from what I mentioned about remembering Allah is I would tell people if you're severely afflicted by with watching a by that where you're just you know praying again and again only do everything once that's it just do it once and bear in mind the principle for tupple Lamas two thoughts and fear Allah as much as you can do it once more don't be praying again and again and again making will do again and again and again do it once and put your trust in Allah that that was the best you could do that's the first thing number two is to trust other people more than you trust yourself which is for example if you're making wood we'll have someone in someone's there just have to ask them to watch your face said you've done it fine us you've done it fine you know you don't need to like then sort of question yourself and say things like that and also make it easy on yourself like for example people who have issues of concerning purity and things like that and maybe go into the bathroom and then you're not phrasing some things meshach said is don't go and make will do immediately when you come out the bathroom because you're just causing you're making the problem worse because you already have doubt you come out the bathroom yonder I'm clean not clean okay maybe I and then you go and make all the way okay do I have water do I not have water so you're actually making the problem a lot worse so what we say to people is for example you're setting alarm 10 minutes before the prayer go with the bathroom take yourself some time come back into the bathroom clean yourself up and then go and make all that will what that will do is just reduce the whole stress of and worry from the shaitaan but ultimately what it requires is it requires just that strength of character to be able to actually do the to take the advice you've been given because so many people get given that advice but then they don't implement it because they're like here but I know you said just do it once but I did it three times it's like that so those are some of the more general things that I would advise people who get it get it in everybody that I think worse than that other people who get it in the Dean in terms of a key their their beliefs and stuff so people who start to doubt Allah think that I've left Islam what I told them is I have like a four step process which I believe kind of sure like gets rid of the problem it's number one when the thoughts come in your mind is the thoughts of disbelief thoughts I'm not a Muslim anymore you know really horrible things that come in your mind number one is to recognize this from the shaitaan we said today remember it's from the shaitaan number two remember allah say something to remember allah when it comes in your mind say allahu akbar subhan allah la ilaha illa llah just say something just to take your mind back to our last panatela make a step far because there's nothing wrong with asking allah to forgive you even if you're not guilty of something it'll make you feel better also that you feel settled in your heart that if anything of that was from me then ask allah to forgive me for it and if you feel the need to like sort of reaffirm yourself just to make yourself feel kind of calm focus people are saying like well I don't think I'm almost him anymore I think I might have left Islam I think I might I don't know if I think jihad again which is same don't take Charlotte what you just need to do is just remind yourself what you really believe like say la you know that's what I really believe and that will just help to drive away all those thoughts from a person's mind and I think if they do that consistently and regularly chef Anne's gonna gonna leave him alone being lighter at least in that point and then he'll move on to something else of course yeah very similar to what you just said since our four step process and actually wrote it down and he said that speaking about doubts of your Eman he was saying once that that arrives like you said so number one he says stop the thought in its tracks instantly and he gave the hadith that prophet saw the law or there was an associate on come and say God created such and such and then create silence also who created God they said it immediately stopped in his tracks just like you said he said number two develop a critical way of thinking so break down what you're thinking I'm realized that's just a stupid thing to think basically like I'm being basically if you need to find a specialist and then make door dialogue safeguard your mind basically the same steps that you said and then in the fact that he said it before the doubt arrives to protect yourself be aware that be aware of the Shaitaan like we said no and we don't give doubts an attentive ear oh yeah this is what he was this is a really good thing I want to talk about actually and not giving doubts an attentive ear ball I'll tell you why then he said be around good car friends and make a plan to study the religion okay the thing I wanted to buy is he said in that bit where he was talking about not giving Shaitaan identifiy he said you know how have you heard about his Netflix series about the Dajjal yeah okay yeah so I've got a seminar coming up on that I really not my Newcastle in middle of January sometimes Charlotte okay well if you're in Newcastle or you're in the UK make a trip to Newcastle and we're gonna the Tim hump was gonna be granted I've got new YouTube channel you know obviously I actually finally made the step to actually actually put put my own channel we upload my videos on so it's just Mohammed Tim muha mm ADT I am and what's gonna go on in your crosses yeah all my classes so I'll put it on there in shala for those people who can't travel to Newcastle it's a river trip either you kill but inshallah this is something like yeah the guy said look this is comma I'd read about it in the news and said we gotta we gotta give people the right information about this before people start taking the Deen from Netflix who's gonna how you gonna record your car if you got camera and stuff yeah I'm not got my team from doula I'm quiting them okay he's what he was saying about this Netflix suit he said that if there's things like that and you feel like it's the kind of thing that you would watch and maybe be like dude question a few things then don't give it him to be in this house or even watching of course so do you or do you agree with that yeah don't expose yourself to sugar hearts right don't don't expose yourself to sources of confusion I give an example a lot of people will say like I go through like they'll put their doubts into on the internet or search them and they'll go through videos of people and say I want to hear both sides now let me listen to you know this one but you're just putting yourself in danger right you're prettier you're like you've got something started to grow instead of cutting it off and remembering Allah and realize it's from the Shaitaan you've said okay Shaitaan you want to tell me you don't give me your best picture like tell me about it yeah you tell me what you tell me what you're gonna tell me like you it's dangerous well that's very danger can often going to find you don't those doubts you have you can often find someone internet and find something which is going to increase it and almost blacked out okay fine I'm gonna go this this kind of makes sense it's dangerous yeah it's dangerous and when it comes don't be frightened to ask the cure for ignorance is asking don't be frightened to come and say you know one of the things I love about is laminate it really attracted me to Islam is there's nothing wrong with asking questions there's nothing wrong the person come and say look I'm a bit confused about the Madi there's a jar whatever I've heard this watch something I'm a bit confused about it can can someone give me some give me some advice yeah like can you tell me is this true is this true and you can get when you ask someone who's got knowledge as long as you ask the right person the worst when you ask the wrong person because I had this issue with a young guy falling sort of towards atheism sorting away from Islam's Muslim family and he said what really pushed him over the edge is he went to an imam of the masjid and the Imam was you know like a genuine guy who leads the Salah but he wasn't really knowledgeable about it and Imam kind of just shut him down deal I said look I've got you know I don't think Islam is fair because of one two three and the Imam just kind of went be quiet don't speak about it go back home and it actually just pushed him totally over the edge because he he didn't get that answer but if he went to a person of knowledge in Charlotte who really can answer that question that person said listen sit down with me and let's go through it one two three four five will go through all the issues you have and we answer them one by one well I think is you can't expose yourself to something that's gonna cause you doubt like that especially even worse when it's something like something like a movie or or a TV series where it's presented to manipulate your emotions and make you you know get into the story it's even worse than right reading it written down right like reading as an article and even preparing for the seminar I have no intention of watching this thing to prepare for the seminar what I'm gonna do is just go through the the script of it'll go through the plot summary of it or whatever and then write down the things that I need to write but have no intention of watching it because I'm gonna watch it what's to say who can say to me that I'm not gonna be affected by something however small you know so I have no intention of watching I'm just gonna go through the don't even watch it I would say don't go near it because why are you gonna put yourself at risk like that you know and yeah you could see what I went through and I'd be I've watched things before and I've not been affected but that's like that's really you know bad reasoning you know just because you've not been affected before it doesn't mean that you won't be affected again you've got to take you know you got to take your precautions and that way it'll come you know there's a lot of people talking about though isn't there that series there's not people talk about a lot Muslims talking about people like because obviously is it's very relevant to what's going on but I know there's a lot of talk about people who want to watch it except jockeys wait wait what's the weazy what's it about I know that I saw that so are they cleaning it because it looks like they're almost conditioning to the people said that their child is coming by and it's come out at a time I thought I haven't watched it I think it's about ten times real isn't it and the man coming the Dajjal coming by afraid it's a drama yeah then you never know how powerful behind it you might they might make the Dajjal actually quite attractive really well you know he's I think I think one of the things you have here is that you have you have a fit everyone call this what I understood from what I've read I've only read the the like the paragraph that kind of describes it right yeah is that you have this doubt about is this figure is it fit is he fake is he really is he the one or is he just like so it's all it's like designed to create that doubt and and I'm I'm gonna go through it in detail before the seminar so I really understand it but if it is like that that's a really powerful confusing thing that you give to people that you start to make people doubt well is that that you're gonna be like that yeah is this just like all something illusionary like it's you know how they do that like they twisted like there's a plot twist that like suddenly it's all just an illusion and actually you know the whole thing wasn't wasn't like it was set up to be so as pretty that kind of thing can be pretty powerful and confusing people um I don't know whether someone's gonna watch that and then necessarily get a completely wrong idea of the Dajjal I just think that there's certain underlying messages within that that are kind of they're gonna lead to a lot of confusion but with with films and series of stuff ultimately the writers decide what the audience who they favor with in what they've written so even the bad guys can if they present it in the right way the bad guys something becomes a good guy and then you find yourself attached to the the bat right that it's powerful so what I'm saying is someone sent me the advert for it yeah I watched advert and actually gave me goose goose bumps actually really it was creepy because it was someone wrote a little message alongside it saying you know we're getting to that point and look what they're pushing out and it's just like it's a very subtle way of conditioning people Muslims non-muslims anyone that there is someone coming as we know there is someone there is someone coming and if they choose to present it in a way that this person is exciting or whatever it might be the thing that when someone when the job does come everyone's gonna be embracing it more I think is I think it's a start of many things that we're gonna see about this the subject I think it's the start of the conditioning cuz I think you know we're getting to that we're getting to that point we know that we're in ruin those times anyway I think this coming out of Netflix everyone talking about it I think it's a start of many more series films about the same subject and I think generally it's about conditioning and getting people used to this thought someone was saying that they've obviously in researching to create this drama you've obviously analyzed a lot of religious texts because a lot of the things that we know in a hadith they've like implemented in it so like this Christian right by the Bible yeah that's it yeah yeah and it's not it's not the first time that's actually happened it's maybe the first time it's been on such a high profile yeah it's been done before and there are a lot of people who speak about this topic deliberately to create confusion and people out there on YouTube who are speaking about this topic one thing that I'm really concerned about is people who speak about this topic and take the Dajjal away from being what he really is away from being for example a person into being a system or engineer like that that's so dangerous because when the Dajjal actually comes people want it people won't be aware because they've they've got the impression that the Dajjal is just you know the financial system system in a system or the system of government or we know is that you Jim at George's you know just refers to the you know the China the rise of China or yeah this is really really dangerous because it just creates confusion about what the real issues are and I think that's what I see with his Netflix thing it's not so much that they're trying it it's not that they try and come you know totally change everything they just confuse you enough that you actually stop recognizing where the truth is and you start to doubt well you know and especially its emotive things like Palestine and all that stuff it's very very cleverly done to just confuse people and confuse people's emotions into not really understanding where the truth is do you think that's the intention though or do you think that they are like ignorant people who are just making a movie in they found a good story that's really interesting one I think that's that I know sir I think my I think my might me personally I think that it doesn't matter I think Shaitaan there are shaky no insurgent there are Shaitaan from the men and Shaitaan from the gym you a battle made a battle in so falcone hora they reveal to each other adorn speech as a way to delude people so in all honesty it doesn't have to be this thing that you know they went into the forest in the middle of night and then you know it police was waiting for them to explain to them the script that they needed to write it's much more subtle than they just are the fact that they are away from Allah that they don't have do not follow the religion they they following the Shaitaan and Shaitaan just inspires them to do things helpful to his course that's what I believe as we're talking about film and and series when I first came to the Dean practicing there was a very well-known film called gin actually a film called gin Hollywood film ok and it actually got it it's been gone it's been completely removed but it was advertised as a film it's gonna come to the cinema etc and it was about the advert was creepy it was the literary called J iawn gin and it was about a goblin in a dark cave and it was actually called gin and then it completely disappeared I think they whoever it literally got removed from I'm sure if you google it you might go to find it but it's just interesting like how it did disappear and not to get to conspiracy base but I think that it's called gin I think I think it makes people conscious of it may be it may be giving away a little bit too much and I just think the fact that was out there Hollywood film and something it's been removed I think for that to happen I think there was a conversation somewhere saying that this is I don't know I don't know I insane I reckon that now that as we've Islam being like the force is growing religion and we rightly becoming more more prominent I think that we will start seeing in media the the concepts of Islam especially like to do a show and stuff like being used and then you taking extracts what a hadith and stuff of that and then making a movie based off of that as like a horror movie and stuff like that but obviously I'm sure that stuff already exist but a much more obvious way yeah yeah yeah seen a movie that's called other than that one did you know my buddy did like but I can imagine them actually creating that but the sad thing is how that you fear that's gonna attract Muslims isn't it but then what's within that yeah yeah there's wall I Monsters Inc the film Monsters Inc which is a very popular kids film those monsters are based in another dimension out of the normal dimension and one of those monsters is has got one eye and fact a few of them have got one eyes so talking about life like go into what Monsters Inc think they're in another dimension got one I saw the notice there's you go through a few films and pick that kind of stuff up I do think they've done it subtly I think it's getting more views yeah I'm always interested in - ever they did it on purpose or if you sound open but I know your opinion is and which a very very pain which is probably more correct anyway is that they know what they're doing III don't want me I actually lost time we were in a podcast I knew that question and I don't know I think I used to think it was more like the producer directors get together in a circle and they you know it's that I used to think that I don't think it's as clear-cut as that I think like you're saying it's almost like the the the shaitaan of men are just there and I guess they inspire each other because Allah said you a battle doorman about they inspire each other to do wrong so the share Tina gene they kind of like put thoughts into the mind of Sheryl Tina Linz to make them sort of help the cause that's that's how it works that's how Allah told us that it works so I think there there isn't a need for them to kind of you know have this kind of like secret society suit not to say that they don't exist there might exist but there's not that's not critical for it to work your Shaitaan has a much more subtle way of doing things which is simply just to inspire two people who are already close to the shape on to do things that will further the shaitaan's cause and Allah soj let's let's just give people hope right let's not have a yeah let's give people hope yeah allah subhanaw taala is gonna turn their plots all against them but the issue is not that the issue is as an individual what side are you gonna be on i don't worry about islam i don't worry about muslims because allah subhanaw taala told us well are people talking the eventual outcome is gonna be for islam for the muslims and allah subhanaw taala is gonna take care of all their plot it's not about that it's about you as an individual you as a person are you gonna be one of the people who is personally saved a lot of saving Islam you know like I was a most amazed by what happened with Abdul Muttalib when Abraha came with the elephants to destroy the Kaaba and Abraha had captured some of the camels slaughtered or taken some of the camels that belong to at the motel remember Abdul Mutallab was not not a Muslim so Abdul Muttalib came and of course he's there he's the leader of Quraysh and he came to abracadabra have presumed that he came to basically plead for the Kaaba you know to basically beg for for Abraham not to destroy the Kaaba so it kind of came to him said to him well if you came to me to talk about the cabby said the Kaaba has the Lord will take care of it I came for my camels and that's a very very profound lesson don't worry about islam allah subhanaw taala will take care about it take care of islam allah subhanaw taala will protect Islam in the way that he wants but what you have to worry about you got to worry about yourself you personally are you gonna be one of the people your family your friends are they gonna be one of the people who are fooled that's the concern and when you do that it's interesting the effect on the AMA you get that effect on the whole Ummah it's not a selfish thing you correct yourself correct your family if everybody did that but only itself would allies would yo brings out changes in this former from the bottom not from the top that's the Sunnah of a lot with regard to the UM nice that you make changes in yourself in your family and our last panatela will make that a cause to change the whole situation of the Muslims and that's what Allah tells in the car he won't change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves the ayah I think he's one of the most powerful III and for us it's the ayah that drives specially London shake I'm so happy you mention that because people privately come to us and speak to us about freshly grounded and sometimes asked us what our intent she's always been suffer not and I talk about the ayah and I say that we could because people come to us and with this issues going all around wanna say why don't you speak about this wanna speak like that directly and recently there was a dull politics going on in the UK like the Prime Minister changed up why don't you have someone on duty to speak about the why do you have someone on like in part of the food is from Parliament and it's become and I said that the problem is is is that there's always gonna be issues and if we try and fix if we try and always go to all of the issues we're never gonna be able to and and so I have to remind myself the IR that really inspires what regard which is that I right there and it's this we understand that if if we work on ourselves internally even it makes no sense to us logically they've we work on ourselves internally Allah will fix them Muslim um but our responsibility to fix the condition of the people is fixed ourselves so we're freshly grounded our intention is just to somehow inspire change within people so they could change themselves and then we have a shot in Charlotte that changes all the craziness that's happening in the world but but even though logically it sounds that doesn't make sense and it sounds like no like raise money for what's happening there what and and and and and what's happening there and I agree with that awareness has to be raised yeah I heard but our long-term goal we're surrounded is to inspire change within each individual because if individuals change themselves we know that our laws made the promise that as long as we fix ourselves and our law will take care of the the suffering of the Muslims around the world and so that really inspires us and that doesn't stop you from helping people of course it doesn't stop you is it cuz that's a matter of like what do I have the ability to do okay I have the ability to help I have the ability to raise money I have the ability of sadaqa but I also recognize that that that I do is not going to solve the core problem it might relieve temporarily the situation or people in one particular place but it's not gonna solve the problem what's gonna solve the problem is that we go back to ourselves and every one of us corrects ourselves our family our friends our communities and we go outwards like that that's what drives change within within the Muslims insha'Allah and but also that if something cuz if we did for example listen to all of the devices that we got and let's say for example all of our episodes with the Messiah though as much a short term that might benefit because every episode we've got people dropping knowledge we're gonna lose the listeners are freshly grounded who just like to listen to us on their way to work who listen to music and instead government cuz we've now lost them we've lost those an extra person who we could through our general conversation where we just cracking and having a laugh but we're not lying and we joking when we joke we don't necessarily take the makeup I don't take them because I'm both but the point is that we have those molds within our our you know joke so that maybe those little things that inspire change if we can inspire one person to stop lying even when the joking that's a massive thing in our Deen lying is huge so yes bi thing's beautiful I love what you guys do well I think it's this freshly ground it has been a big blessing for a lot of people and that's why whenever you say to me that look you know you got some time for that I always give amazing well I feel that it will I I feel honored to be able to do it because it's to be able to just reach out to different people as I've said before and people who maybe we otherwise might not be able to reach out to and the fact that you guys have found a way to to make that change in in in some people who maybe would otherwise find it difficult and that's been a way to make it easy for them that's a big blessing from Allah subhanAllah and we have to thank Allah for making it possible to be a part of that and that's you know so when we talk about the camps everything we've been talking about the Muslim on my such a diverse group of people we have to have something for everybody right we have to have different programs for everybody if we applied the same solution that I do for there's it you know a young guy who wants to be a serious student of knowledge or a scholar and the way that I taught that person I applied that to the whole world it'll be massively ineffective because it's the right tool for that particular job but it's not the right tool for the person who is just starting to practice there Dean just you know wanting to sort you know get on their feet to be able to you know just get forget the basics there it's not the same the same approach so we got to have a variety of things and we're gonna have programs that suit lots of different people that's what I mean my dau a personally what I try to do I try to look at what have I got for this group of people what am i doing for this group of people what am i doing for Reavers which is a totally different need a totally different set of support and things like that which is different to what other people are doing what we're doing for different members of the community different parts of the community and different places in the world that we try to like have a dower that is sort of comprehensive for all those things and helping people in lots of different ways one of the things is just giving people alternatives like you know Freshlyground is an alternative to to some of the things that people might listen to that that would not be bringing them closer to our last planet ah can we talk a bit about the difference and similarities between respect and azar ego and arrogance and I'll give some context to it I think it's important for the people listening Israel recently I remember was I was River I felt a bit I felt like a bit disrespected when someone was making a joke and they kind of made a joke on my expense and I just felt like I wasn't respected in that in that setting right and I didn't say anything that time because I thought to myself am I having an ego here and saying like honor I deserve to be respected and then I thought to myself no because everyone deserves to feel like they're not being made a joke out of at their expense right so that's that's that's that you've been seen as a respectable person that has a over house it is in English Jahna or not has an owner but then the business if a man between that and you say no I deserve this either how dare you so so the reason I asked that question because also people in it who are listening the people who are like for example Sam Sam is a leader for six sons now but the point is people in nine cells were employees and in the Sam and Josh are top of that hierarchy so he has to and he has to have this thing where he's respected and if someone and because of work and professionalism and if someone comes out of line they have to be reminded of that yeah as a Muslim he has to remember that he doesn't have arrogance and that's all of us we will have this thing where what's the difference between the two great question man wow that is deep is deeper so you douse the questions Facebook Charlie yeah okay so here there are different aspects first of all there is the issue of arrogance the prophets hasn't defined arrogance he defined what it is very specifically and he sometimes not what you would think so he said arrogance is disdain for the truth and looking down on other people that's all arrogance is is having a dislike for the truth in other words I don't about the truth what I care about is me you know that so that's one aspect of arrogance and the other aspect of arrogance is looking down on other people belittling other people making them feel low that's another part of arrogance right so that arrogant society if you don't have those two things you don't have arrogance to be arrogant you have to have a dislike of the truth it is named for the truth and you have to look down on other people without those things you can't you can't be arrogant right so if you look at a beliefs who is the the king of arrogance right that the most arrogant of all the people who created it beliefs had both things he saw the truth he knew the truth and he turned his back on it and then he looked down on Adam and he said Anna hi Roman I'm better than him Harlock tiny'mon Naru hoc dominantly you created me from fire and him from clay what told the police that fire is better than clay who told ability guys like I don't care about the truth I'm better who are you that's arrogance so that's one thing good character that's a separate thing people have a right to be trapped with good character a la Sol told us even with regard to our relationship with people who are not Muslim let me Ann how come Allah Allah as what you told us lion how come Allah and in ladino a mule cart IDO comedy when I'm you free joke on myndy irie-kun anta borrow hawa talks it will Olay him in the la ripple Melissa teen Allah doesn't prevent you from those people who haven't fought for you and because of your religion and haven't driven you out of your homes that you are good towards them kind towards them and you're just towards him and Allah loves the people who are just good character is a basic requirement that every human being a basic human right to be tread with good manners and good character and that's why even the Muslims when they used to go to war how they used to treat even their enemy with the best of character and the best of manners that is something it's a basic fundamental human right in Islam to be trapped with good character at the same time you always want to have that blame of yourself in a way and that's what we call enough said no one you and in sort of PML Erickson will be over P Amma well Oakland will be nefzi low I swear by the Day of Judgment and I swear by the soul that blames itself the soul that blames itself is when you kind of look at a situation and say you know what it is maybe it's my fault here you know like maybe I I need to fix some things maybe so you kind of see yes I haven't been Treadwell but you know what it is maybe that's because of the way I was maybe I had some arrogance in me maybe I need like that's that's good from that perspective because that's you kind of questioning yourself and correcting yourself and the other thing is having forgiveness and pardoning people for the way that they treat you Alya just said özil Apple what more pillar or a divine energy honey Allah said take the pardoning people and command that which is good and turn away from the ignorant how did the prophets Isum and he deserved the most respect out of anyone that has ever been he deserved the absolute highest standard of respect and if you saw how the Sahaba used to respect him they said the people you should say we never saw a group of companions respect a person like they respected him they wouldn't look at him when he spoke and they would you know they wouldn't raise their voice over him one of them you know hid in the house because a lot is that Eliezer John revealed yeah oh hell Adina aminal let tell Pharaoh as far as I can focus all Tina be don't raise your voice over the prophets I've got a loud voice so I don't want to come to the gathering in case my voice might overcome his voice so Paula like that's how much respect but look at how some of the bad ones and in surah Hajj are at this is your aura for this question by the way so total Herat it just answers all of it how some of the bed wins would in the ladina unite you and him in wala in Herat the people who call that needs to call out Mohammed Hamlet from you know into his apartments Allah said extra room like you know they don't really think about what they're doing and if they were only patient how the Prophet SAW was patient with them he wasn't like when it came to matters that he could forgive because not a matter of the Dean he would forgive it you know someone says something about him he would forgive it look at how he tracked the people of Makkah when he recounted matter like everybody oh don't worry about it in whatever you've done if if Allah has given me permission to pardon you I'm loud it's not Haram for me to pardon you I'm gonna let it go so that's how you save yourself from arrogance so we've got like here multiple things we define arrogance which is like hating the truth and looking down on other people and we said that everybody regardless of religion regardless of you know practicing non practicing knowledge nor knowledge has a right to betray with a high standard of of character and manners that's a fundamental human right in Islam and we said that ultimately pardoning people and forgiving people and blaming yourself is a good thing as long as it doesn't blaming yourself doesn't lead you to like depression or whatever but also you know that forgiving people overlooking so it's not a bad thing when someone treats you badly you think you know maybe that's a bit of arrogance on my part maybe I should just you know maybe I should I shouldn't feel like that that's not a bad thing and also just letting it go and saying to people you know it is it's not it's not a big deal for me because at the end of the day I know myself and I think when you know yourself really well and you know your heart really well that kind of thing shouldn't bother you as much as as it it does right which it does it bothers everybody but when you know yourself really well it shouldn't so I would say that's how I would answer and say put all those things together inshallah it's not arrogance but at the same time you want to pardon and you want to overlook when is it not a good idea to pardon so when should you not do it and this relates what you said about some situation is that if there's a negative to pardoning someone that it's gonna lead to a worse consequence like sometimes somebody who's in a position of authority and they pardon all the time nobody ever listens to them then because and they and then the negative consequences come so for example I give you another a better example the example of a bully someone's bullying someone and he says you know it is I pardon him but you pardoning him is not making him leave his bullying actually is gonna do it more and more and more right because you're pardoning him in this case we say the wisdom is not not to pardon but there needs to be a lesson that is taught and then the person can be pardoned inshallah and I think you know when it comes to issues ever sighs a good leadership this is a beautiful like Bluth wall I could do a separate topic on it is the profits lesson as a leader how as a leader do you inspire the people that work for you or the people that are within your authority how do you inspire them to do what you want the profits I sum was was the best example that you I mean actually the brother he actually told me he he actually started writing a book on this because he did a PhD or he did a he did an MB I think and his MBA they did a section on leadership and they talked about qualities of a leader and leader inspires change and all of this stuff and you know these kind of like what are the qualities of a leader in business and wrote down 20 qualities that are all in all these business books MBA books about what what a leader should be and the brothers started to write down a book about how the profit sighs I'm embodied all of those qualities and more and how all the examples they give of leadership none of them can stand up to the the leadership the profits I'm showed and though for example one thing they said that a leader should be able to inspire you know to drive change among the people that he's leading right did anyone drive change or cause change more than the prophets Allah Allah he inspired the change of an entire Peninsula in like 23 years like that's unheard of you know so the the leadership qualities the prophets I had if you have those they somewhat reduce the need for you to like necessarily come down hard on people too often because what happens is that they they see that quality in youin and that bring those qualities of a leader basically bring people into interline just through the qualities that you have and as we talk about the quality of manlihood Andrew jewel I like and the issues of things like Hebert so Haber's in it you mentioned is that but I was what came to mind when you tell me about is Hebert Hebert is like having a presence when you walk into the room everyone goes quiet you have a pretty realize I had a word that has a word for it in our okay that Hebert can become arrogance if you don't control it properly and I'll give an example there was a poet there was a port in the time of pre-islamic times he said well I'll sell to him he managed a burning like Hanna behavior to yell kasuba I said that if I sent my spear with a coward just because of my presence he would you know he would stab the lion basically that's arrogance like that's not that's not like he say like you know my reputation is so much if I give my spirit to a coward he'll still go and catch a lion you know so that's how they were in Jackie Lee at Easter you know big themselves up like that good line there but I said it's a good line but before you peel you fall pretty flat on your face if you see and then the guy comes back empty hangers don't know but Hebert is the idea that you have a presence an example of that American hop up when normally used to walk down the street like whoever's doing anything just just almost here like everyone stopped doing it and people you know instantly record presentations that's just having the qualities of a leader that has like a presence in front of people and that also changes the way people behave towards you so I suppose so something to think about what's amazing is that those qualities that that presence you can get just by following us or not just by like the thing if you think about the advices of the prophet sallallaahu or they were selling like speaking a little only when you need to speak or not giving away not speaking about your private affairs or your secret like not were speaking about your plans you know if you live like that then you would have that presence because it's always like wow this guy is always making successful moves but we've met we never he just comes out of him like we never heard that he was gonna open up a store or they start the other and he just did it and then because you start moving silently yes you have that presence and that all relates back to this or not and also it's a present it also there's there's an issue of strength it comes from also a strength of Iman as well like Amon Amarth it wasn't his physical strength there were a lot of people in the time Sahaba were physically strong okay Ramar was an exception that he was extremely strong but there were others but the strength of his Iman was was what he drew his presence from it wasn't from physical stay it wasn't I'm intimidating you I got walk-in and I'm here to intimidate you physically he intimidated them with the strength of his heart before the strength of before his physical strength and that's why hey but isn't Islamic Lee isn't always related to physical presence like really big guy real strong guy in walks in everyone's you know sort of odd it's actually sometimes related to or more often islamically in the universe we're not talking about arrogance it's related to the strength of a person's a man and the and the the respect that people have for you because of that means that when the person speaks this people knowledge and like you said they don't speak a lot they speak they're careful and cautious about what they say then when that person speaks people really give it attention because that that person has that presence built because of their Eman and because of the way that they behave Islamic Lee it's amazing it was deep question that I thought was deep question boy did I answer your question honestly perfectly how did you feel with the answer the question yeah because you look a bit like Kevin no is perfect it was our eyes exactly he's exactly the answer that I would have wanted he answers it perfectly when you like even in I had one question and then you even answer that before I could ask you which was if the situation of because I was gonna say worry if you feel like there's jokes being made at your expense and if you don't kind of stand up and show I don't it's not this is not something that always pause then he's at bat and then you said about the bullying thing about dealing of it and then forgiving it yeah actually deal with it and then forgive it and I think that's along I think there'll be a lot people who are listen sorry to interrupt I fit no Bo people who listen now who perhaps because of their kind nature are the type of people who will forgive but perhaps in a workplace or because a majority people who listen to our podcasts are in are in work so the workplace bully the best example who perhaps in a workplace or maybe their kindness is taken for granted to be and maybe they have this issue so for now also a good off you know I saw a lot of people was forced me before I listened to this yeah I hope so oh I believe so I mean taking kindness for weakness is what you're saying basically if you continuously let someone a weight get away of something that you're not that happy with after all there's gonna be a culture within that that you'll just bought the joint basically kind of thing yeah yeah yeah yeah and that's not gonna help them to change that's not gonna help them to become better so you have to do up you have to do that with wisdom in the best way it's not always wise to speak about it in the situation are different like you might want to take the person aside and say look you know I understand you just having laugh but like that was you know that for me I don't think was right so you know maybe this time shall I will let it go but I'm not gonna have it it's not gonna happen again I saw what you said it's about dealing it with the wisdom because ultimately situation is different so if alternative someone has made you feel a certain way that doesn't feel right I believe it's worth bringing up in private maybe and just say like I'm not gonna go just let you know what you said I didn't really like too much I think that kind of says it always knew yeah and people respect that you saw yes because one of the worst things and and you know if we live in the UAE for a while in it so it's a real cultural problem over there that they have is this issue of new Jamila mu Jamila is like where you there's not a proper I there is a proper way for in English but I the Arabic word is so much better it's just making is sort of glossing over everything and making everything look really good and concealing how how you really feel about things is such a problem because what it ends up doing is you end up basically creating big problems later down the line where someone's really you know has a real grievance over something you've done but they just no no no everything's fine I'm totally happy you're amazing we love you and then you know two months down the line it's like like it's a real problem and I I personally hate it I can't I find it very difficult to deal with a much rather someone comes aside and says look you know what you said then I didn't I didn't like it that much and then I'm done I can you defend myself I can say sorry I can but I know that I'm I'm you know persons dealing with me in a real way you know it's it's not fake whereas you know that culture of just like faking everything and making everything look really good and every and then just suddenly flipping on there and you know six months down the line and bringing everything back again that's a heartless tyres need to deal with do you think that could even also lead to a greater sins such as backed by him because if you're concealing it to the person you're dealing then when you're speaking to perhaps your family members all your friends you say oh I do what this person did with XYZ how'd you nipped it in the bud you may know yeah just be be be open with people respect that and say look HMDA like he he you he is you know like the way that he feels that's how he tells you that doesn't mean you don't have wisdom sometimes you might conceal something to deal with it later but people know that if you're not happy with something if ultimately you're gonna you're gonna speak about it or you're gonna say something with wisdom at the right time and not that you're just gonna gloss over it and make it look really good and then later on bring it up because ultimately if you conceal something is just gonna boil up inside and later on it's gonna come out when it comes out yes a lot worse should we and the podcast on a discussion of fatherhood yes handle our kisses last time you told me is that that was not a father and Marshall Marshall we all we are all three grown men with boys now have a nice conversation about dads and sons sounds shallow got two now two boys have you ever seen Sam please cuz I haven't no shame shame shame it's what I'll keep the conversation going on the verdict the most beautiful boys now settling in because you know at the beginning is such a shock to the system so you're saying outside you've gotten some proper sleep nozzle yeah yeah so now he's sleeping he everyday he sleeps at 11:00 p.m. now he's 2 2 and it wants a new shirt soon if it wants any sleeping is currently blessed us yeah he sleeps for the first two weeks off he came home he was a bit difficult but other than that and after that he every night he forces you about 11 p.m. and he wakes up at about 7 a.m. or half 6:00 Wow was he handed our I don't want I did I don't want to put that I didn't want to die on probably because I don't want to jealous either because I have a very blessed schedule but Dodie it's all their listeners are gonna see a lot more buddy yeah you shall know what I found as a parent with young kids that kind of it goes smoothly for a while oh well I shall love lessons there's nothing that me sleep becomes smooth and then suddenly like it can go on its head again and change so enjoy what kinds would be my only only advice you never know you never know receiving all these kind of stuff he has this thing called there's a long there's a long version of it but the cloak cool term for it is called floppy larynx which is that he has floppy long he likes fluffy so he's bringing his chest that's like a bit floppy or something but ultimately what it means is that he makes a lot of like noises when you breathe and when he's drinking and stuff of that so it's like every reason it sound like he struggles to be you know hey baby I mean you if you were to be Ronnie black there's something again again but because we he's had it since he's been born for us we just thought that's what babies were like and they said that so what it is is that he struggles he makes the sounds a lot of times when he's breathing so even for the night something like that he'll Sonora and he yeah you can't you cannot hate that but Bart so apparently what happens is as they grow older it generally for mostly most cases it just talks yourself out so my nephew had the same thing he's two now and he he is he's fine the reason I just wasn't that funny happy look can you see how I've got cuts on my hand like oh yeah a few so basically that's who you ordinary said I'll go equals three so the other day I was at I went so we on this tour and in that there was a London show right so I hadn't seen my mom about seven eight days Eva because I was in London because when I do the London day after I took my missus to my mom's house and my nephews were there and so the two euros over as how keen my little sister one thousand a feasel yes she goes so that if you his name's a Anya she goes locked himself in my room and he can't like see he must and all your hardened doors locked and it's on top or like this the the the upstairs floor and it's like facing out so there's no way there's nothing about alright so what I did is this is gonna be self praise what I did here is I tried our speaking fluid or other you see the little base a two year old yes I was that you see the little button you know this one and I was that yeah I like to see what he's doing I'm right now turn that to unlucky and he's acting but he's not gaining right so I don't know what's happening in that room we can't see him and what while he's not panicking we need to kind of get him out so I opened the window of the next door room and I'll jump out of the house and I'm like on the ledge outside the house and I walk over to that one look in the window and I basically um I'm like trying to I'm gonna come over here and so in the meantime my mom's just calm she's gone I rang the fire brigade they're gonna come and get him out because they see they see it when it's a two-year-old locked in a room they see that as an emergency today like quickly I was like alright but by that time I was all doing Les Halles I'm gonna try it so I was like I like alright honey what you're humping is his ledge it's like it wasn't very safe did you yeah I'm not hanging off I'm hanging off the house basically I'm so nice it wasn't very safe enough it was not as like maybe like one of these okay yeah I was thank you very small at your first oh no it's heist like it's like a house one story imagine the house once there it's the real once there case up cool imagining this right now yeah very scary situation I'm not trying to get other the difficult thing is me at 85 kilos trying to get out of one window and so like I'll mash myself that's what the hands up battle scars so anyway the cool thing is though trying to teach a two-year-old how to open unlock a window that's made to protect children he's outgoing safety maquette man may Allah bless him you so small all right come over here on you can see him over and so the way he had to do is give on the bed and go on the dressing-table then walk over to the window seal and then he deftly figure out how to look so he came onto the bed and I said right you have to clear the dressing-table silver books he like this one I was out yeah I so I picked up and put down the bit he picked up a bit so he cleared the dressing table I was all right stand on the bed stood in bed stand and addressed he was too arrested when I was out come to the window late and blend the cutest sight you will ever see he's a two-year-old scared he went he was on the dressing table while he was looking to make that to the window see what and he got scared and he went back onto the bed I'm a hard man worry don't look come on and you can do it again so then he did it he got into the window see why was that come on just one more step called controls we come to me country he got there all right now if they are not the window I spent 20 minutes trying to hold the handle it could bury money only just started speaking like he's two years old he's not the best you've got a tool by the eastern margin but he can say that mom dad this one no yes kind of thing so I said that that hand he didn't know words like button and suffer don't think so that had a button press that I never would have is it I managed off for 20 minutes to convince him by then the fire brigade came and they put a ladder up there to the ledge because they need the ladder for it was very very hot here but point is that didn't need them yet because I managed to offer to him it's finally come is I said why press the ball in one hand pulled allege he pulled it and as soon as he opened a bit I cracked the window open open it fully picked him up brought him out the house and that's the point where the fire brigade were like up there so then they were I passed me well being and I thought you would have gone in the window now it was safe or it was it was it was safer because like it was so easy and I was holding I knew the guys were there now register and so the brave the brave strong man okay then what do is this yeah I want good times my missus because then I went home and because she sort of hold the back with the buckle and the one thing you want as a man is when you're saving a trial for your wife to see it I haven't actually saw it I mean we're hoping that the instrument oh so the firemen did we do anything cuz that now I do I pretty much English man just like a fireman I was like yeah kind of my hero yes amazing so I'm in the good books no Soham dude are seven days at or not really see you know I'll save this harddrive basically no I said Isis I said listen I'm changing my dream day I'm saving the other night you saved a child's life I basically recharge now so alhamdulillah bless your rewarding for that I think would've been safer for you to go in I would have from from evaluating and next steps I guess you guys were okay maybe it's had to be there yeah but that's not a story I love less you reward you for it any I mean fatherhood yeah we were talking about fatherhood um said to is your your how could we refine the advice what would you like to ask someone who is who has raised children in their era of fitna raising boys can't be a easy step Sam you're more experienced than I am in in raising children stuff you know would you would you asking me the question of what question I would ask yeah so your question is what would I ask I would probably ask what advice would you give a Muslim Muslim family Arriva family on bringing up their children Islamically in a very non Islamic environment yeah is a beautiful question so I think the first thing is that when it comes to raising kids the basic term we have for this in Islam is Tobia oh it's a beautiful term it's the idea of nurturing I like that's a good that's a good translation of the word total yeah like how do you nurture a child and the Tobia that a child needs it starts really it starts from the time that you get married really you know it starts from who you choose to marry and the relationship you have with your wife and then even you know the sort of etiquettes of married life and so on there all of that affects your child and then find the child is the child is born and the terapia that you give to that child there's gonna be so many different phases in their life that they go through and each one needs a really unique kind of nurturing there's so many different aspects to it but broadly speaking there needs to be there are certain things that need to be there really need to be there for for then the first thing it needs to be there is the parents need to implement what they want to implement in their children what they want to advise or what they want from their children you need to be that person for your own parents and you need to be that person for your wife you need to be that person that you would want your children to be because the children take from their parents no no matter how good or even bad their parents are children just take what their parents do that's one thing I think it's got to be based on Islam it's got to be based on knowledge and so you've got to look at how you can convey to that child the knowledge that they're gonna need each stage in their life to be able to grow and to be able to develop into practicing Islam it's got to be based on on on a friendship or a relationship you build with your children it can't just be a teacher it's not a teacher-student relationship it's not that I'm here to just teach you like there's got to be that relationship there and that almost a friendship that especially as they get older where they have the confidence to come talk to you to tell you what they feel and you have the confidence to talk to them and also it has to be based on forgiveness and it has to be based on overlooking things because you know your kids we met if I look at me mind me right my eldest son now is it's coming to 15 I look at myself when I was at that age I made a lot of mistakes I made some massive mistakes and ultimately if the people around me had given up on me right and just said you know I mean I made a lot mistakes before I became Muslim I made some huge mistakes after and if people just turn around just gave up on me like that then you know I wouldn't be in the position that I'm in today by the grace of Allah Azza WA JAL and by Allah's grace and His mercy that I'd be that I'm in today so you've got to have that long-term vision for your kids that look they're all kind of sometimes mess things up sometimes they're not gonna do what you want but you gotta have that thing where look you know we just dusted it just ourselves down we stand up again we try again and we continue again and realize that you know things are gonna sometimes go wrong but you got to be there for them also and if you're there for them charlotta other they'll be there for you as well when you know at the time when you need them the most when you you know you getting old and you're looking for your kids to actually you know sort of give something back in that sense but I believe that terribie is such a huge topic but I think that the knowledge is so important just it's not about you know we talk about knowledge a lot of people have this idea that it's about knowledge is what you do for the ones who you want to become scholars you know like one of my kids I'm gonna teach them Islamic knowledge because that's you know they're gonna go on to study Islam but it's not like that the knowledge that you teach your kids is for everyone we want we want practicing Muslim businessmen we want practicing Muslim you know sports people we want practicing Muslim we want Islam to sort of per me it's sort of every aspect of people's life so we have to give that knowledge to all of our kids but it's just you know some of them will go further and seek more of it than others right so I think the knowledge has to be there you got to take into account the individual phases of your child's life you got to know your child and you've got to preempt things before they happen right a lot of the times especially in modern times we talked about like modern trials and tribulations one of the biggest issues you have is that things happen quicker than you can cope with them so the child growing up what they're exposed to doubts desires mistakes whatever it might be friends it happens quicker than you can control and that's why you've got to be as a parent you've got to preempt it you've got to be the one who is observant of that and you've got to be you know you've got to be aware of what your kids are doing and you've got to take it responsibility really seriously it's a big topic but that's like cause I would say if you are noticing for example certain things that your children have been exposed to that you don't like and you disagree with that goes against the dean or whatever would you be a recommendation dealing with that for example going to a non-muslim school where there's obviously there's been a huge build-up to the Christmas there's been no tivities there's been lots of stuff involving that if you're not in the position of maybe removing your child and put your child somewhere else I think what you said is first of all you're gonna ask is it possible for me to move my child somewhere else and be honest with yourself because a lot of time you put that kind of well it would be difficult but it's worth it if you can so that is the first question yeah fun it has to be right look is there an alternative maybe that alternative would not be quite as good of an education but I'm willing to give up a little bit of that standard of Education for the sake of preserving their Deen it's well worth it then I would say if you can't do that which is the situation for most people they don't have another option is to keep that communication with the child like really really strong be totally aware of what they're getting exposed to what's happening and really answer their questions and really talk to them about it so you know comment back and saying like what did you do at school today or there was a Christmas play or there was you know they decorate the Christmas tree or whatever I say you know what talk to them about it talking about what do you think about that like what do you think you know we as Muslims we don't do it why do you think we don't do it you know what does that mean what does that mean and you really help them to understand according to age appropriate like according to what they can understand at their age so but well let us that's the way to approach it is to talk to them and deal with the issues you as a parent have to do your research because you have to have knowledge without the knowledge kids are like a sharp mashaallah day I'll pull it apart if you don't have knowledge on what you're saying they'll just they'll pull your argument apart so it it has to be based on knowledge you have to be able to explain why something isn't right and if you have that and you can explain that inshallah then you kind of now observing how did that affect the child did they take that on board or am I seeing that they haven't really took it on board yet is that because I didn't explain it right or is that just because I to leave a little time and then raise that topic again and also basic principle don't take something away without giving an alternative that's really important because if you just take things away from children they stay resent that if you can give them alternatives then you know they'll they'll feel good about that like it for example if it's if it's Christmas presents you know Frank's I mean I remember when I was younger obviously being almost in my parents bought me presents for Christmas and birthday and when I turned to Islam and I realized that Christmas was a normal and also the birthdays are not something or something that Islam doesn't allow people to celebrate it's regulated under the topic of our days of Eid which we're not allowed to have other than it will fit on it you love her is that actually said to my mum look you know instead of this can we just do it that the Christmas present you give me a needle fitter and the birthday present you give me a needle of huh can we just like move it like that and now until much better than me saying for example I'm not gonna you know I'm not gonna take this from you and I will not like is it possible that you could just you know put it away and kind of we could just do it like that that I would feel more comfortable and that I believe is a really really important principle that you didn't when you take something away from a child you or from anyone really you give them something an alternative in return and you talk to try to look we don't celebrate Christmas but we number one we have two days that we have two days of aid in the years Muslims number two we are allowed to give gifts at any time of the year outside of a specific festival of non-muslims so you know did you say look if you're feeling a bit sad about your friends getting presents or whatever you know end of January I'll buy I'll buy some presents and will will will you know that's allowed in Islam and I'll take you somewhere but we're not gonna do it because it's something that Islam doesn't allow us to do and Allah is more important and you explain a little bit about the origins are they and why it's not allowed in Islam and why Islam Hostin we have to be as Muslims different from every other religion and that's for example which is proven to us in sort of Catherine Coulier oh hell careful on that boot on my taboo don't like um do you know Kamali a Dean and you have your way and I have mine and also by the statement some mentorship but happy calming for who I'm in home whoever resembles the people is one of them so we don't want to resemble things that there are are for non-muslims to do that are part of their festivals or celebrations whether they're secular or not we don't want to resemble those and we want to have a way that is different from other the way of other people want to be distinct as Muslims our identity to be distinct and separate from from other people that doesn't mean we can't be good neighbors or good work colleagues but we want to have our way of doing things which is different and distinct and special and I think that that should be respected and that should be something that that's a positive not a negative right and if we explain it in that way to people and say hello we do have alternatives and we do have ways we can you know we can think if the children feel a bit sad that their friends are getting stuff for Christmas you know their friends will be feeling a bit sad when you get it for Eid for example or well you know we arrange a time outside of that where we're gonna you know we're gonna make it up to you but you understand the reason why we don't celebrate it is we have to be different and distinct we have to have our way which is different from the way of other people and we can't resemble or be similar to the way that other people of other beliefs and religions whether religious or non-religious atheist agnostic secular whatever we have to be different from that left have our own way so I that's the way I kind of explain it and I put a positive spin on it it's not a negative thing it's not about as you know closing the door none not reaching out to people it's just about the fact that our religion is something totally beautiful unique distinct and different and we have to hold on to that and not let it just get dissolved and just dissipate in in the society that we're in two questions arise from that in my head okay so the first one is in with this concept of not celebrating anything outside of the two leads and with it being something if I'm not mistaken that is a what would constitute you celebrating and making here it would be if you do it at the same time the same place or the same for the same you same time and place same time place what would be the time or place fine either of them you I'm sorry and on the and on a regular on that yes okay what would be the ruling on a situation where for example but a wife they don't celebrate their anniversary on a yearly basis because of that but then it comes to the ten years and they don't do it normally but like because it's not you're not doing it every year you're not doing regularly you just do like like a something for the ten-year anniversary I'll be married ten years and you take 'what's the ruling on something like that because it's irregular now and in a second question is a lot of people in an attempt to in an attempt to use hikmah with their non-muslim or non practicing family members would do stuff like when it's coming close to them of his birthday or to Mother's Day rather than getting him a present on a date get like the day before the day off that in an attempt to avoid making you need is that something that is a permissible considering are you just shifting the day oh is he ok because you're not celebrating on that day I think those two questions are really relevant to perhaps those listening hmm so the first one I would say I would be still uncomfortable with it this 10-year thing because I think that it doesn't it's not necessary every year but you're still making that you're basing it on on that timeframe like 10 years has gone by so we're gonna celebrate yeah that that that's constant for me and fine so you know the fact thing you missed nine years and do every tenth one it still doesn't really take it out of being what it is and what I would more like what I would more say to replace that is to say that we should be people that that sort of I don't wanna use the word celebrate but we appreciate our the the marriages that we have all the time you know and regularly like so the fact that someone has to wait 10 years to do something special for their wife poor girls miss Keaney I like that that should be something that they do like more than that and it should be something that they do like without any fixed schedule like that he buys his wife a gift or he takes it out or they go away together without it being on a fixed schedule like that it's something that they do like from time to time to build love between each other because the Prophet sighs I'm told they're giving gifts to each other is what builds what builds love and that's why you know when it comes to Mother's Day I know it sounds a bit sort of cliche but it's kind of true that we you know every day should be Mother's Day for us really in reality like every day should be a day where you're looking after your mom what you're buying are gifts where you're taking care of her it shouldn't be the fact that you have to have a day in the year where you do that for her now the second question I think there are some boundaries I think the idea the concept could work but I don't like this just switching a day thing I would say that it has to be clear that you're not celebrating that specific day but for example if I came like let's say a couple of weeks before Mother's Day I brought my mom present and I just said look you know I don't celebrate Mother's Day but I just wanted to bring you a gift just to know that you just saw that you know that I'm thinking about you generally speaking like you know throughout the year and you do that from you know irregularly without a specific timetable I don't see a big deal in that my concern is that you do it a before the after all you're doing is just switching you're just moving the time you're just moving the car not playing games of a law or in the rulings that is kind of yeah you feel like you're not really distinguishing the fact that you don't celebrate it but I think that somebody go in a little bit before I'm bringing a gift I'm just saying look this is so that you know that I'm not that I haven't for that that you know it's not that I've forgotten about you or I don't care about and you know that I don't celebrate this right but I just wanted to bring you this so that on that day you have you can go and you can look at this I bought you you can remember that look you know that the feeling is there the love is there the care is there the consideration is there but I'm not gonna celebrate that particular particular date does that make sense the distinction that I made between it but as I just do any idea before the athlete it feels like you're almost apologizing it's kind of like look I'm sorry I can't actually give you the president yesterday but here take it today like that's you know kind of like although that there are some yeah there are some issues I think with reverts it can be more difficult because sometimes they might be in a situation like for example some rivets came through but new reverts they said look you know my family don't fully know about me not being a Muslim they're about me being a Muslim right now and we always get together on Boxing Day for example it's a family gathering and what do I do that issue is more complicated definitely we don't want them celebrating Christmas and we don't have taken part in Christmas celebrations but there can be situations where it is definitely more complicated than just seeing two people tell them I'm not coming in you know I'll see you in ten days time that needs specific answers for specific people you can't give a generic answer for that and I actually gave a hot bath about not celebrating Christmas I took to some Muslims because I felt that people were slowly falling into that kind of like you know from a very sort of secular point of view like that look you know it's just a thing that everybody does and it's commercial and you know we just all and I wanted people not to do that so I gave a hot bath about it and some of the new Muslims came to me and said look what do we do like we're a situation right well you know this more strict than the Muslims were like look win or born Muslims that I win not giving presents we're not but our family expect us on the 26th of December to be at the table and this is gonna cause huge rift between us and our family if we're not there we're willing to sort tell them no alcohol on table we're willing to tell no pork on the table but you know we we have issues with this that is a unique situation that needs to be each one needs to be judged on its own merit you can't just make a generic statement like that for people with we're really serious things could happen to them what we're talking about is sort of you know your average Muslim who you know just needs to appreciate the need of Islam to be distinct and different from from everything else and that we need to keep that difference in that culture and be proud of it and accept it for what it is and not get drawn into the feeling that we have to kind of compete with the different celebrations and the different sort of practices that other people do that's what I think okay welcome hey Bartek Alavi come it's always a pleasure having you on here it's also pleasure being and it's nice that we got the group together you know yes it's always nice having a conversation we've all all of us in it certainly as thank you so much but I really push it yeah welcome and with that inshallah we'll probably see you I'm sure we'd love to love having you on every time you around so inshallah we always get we always get word some where we hear some whispers there are students and I'll drop you a little I'll message you and see if everyone's on your shoulder we can look at it again and Peter's a crackhead and to Providence is listening this was Freshlyground episode 1 4 2 1 4 2 Marshall yeah 8 away from 150 we should do something nice for the 150 who should yeah probably yeah maybe like a small live episode small live like 100 people or something maybe we could maybe make something well yeah it last me if you guys interested in that thanks so much for listening I've been face of charger II this may be my Sam and we are sorry

Channel: Freshly Grounded

Views: 101,164

Rating: 4.9194894 out of 5

Keywords: Freshly Grounded, Sam, Faisal, Sam Palmer, Faisal Choudhry, Podcast, Muslims, Muslim Podcast, tim humble, dajjal, shaytan, netflix, parenting

Id: BFD48hAD_H8

Length: 124min 42sec (7482 seconds)

Published: Fri Jan 03 2020