Can 10 Idiot Australians Survive America?

[Music] hello again welcome back a few months ago my friends and I had a most devilish idea go to the United States of America oh you can't park there again this idea was a good one because it turns out America goes hard so join us today as me and 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 of my idiot friends embark on this Grand Adventure 5 days in Los Angeles pull over [ __ ] to drive you [ __ ] assho two days in an Alpine lake house up 3 days at the Grand Canyon and nine whole days in fabulous Las Vegas so let us begin but before we begin World of Tanks that's right mongrels this video is sponsored by world of tank do you have a dream about becoming a tank do you want to die in a war do you find yourself daydreaming about the destruction of France and do you tanks World of Tanks the greatest most least expensive free tank game ever created you can drive this or this or even this it's incredible but what what can be better than the beautiful gift of life shut theu giant weapons guns hot steamy loads I can assure you 75 mm is well above average Tex right now with the link in the description and use my special super secret Uber secret Ultra Mega secret invite code combat to claim a bunch of free stuff new players get 250,000 credits 7 Days of Premium access three rental tanks for 10 battles each I3 on t78 and top 64 and the Cromwell sit up straighter stop slouching you lazy [ __ ] existing players get 3 days premium this funky camouflage and a 7-Day rental of this sick as [ __ ] tank already have this sick as Funk tank how about a little walking around money huh 100,000 credits of a walking around money you know what I'm saying click the link in park I mean Link in the description and use code combat and transform your stale decrepit life thanks for World thanks for sponsoring this video anyway day one before we could do anything silly we'd have to actually get to America we had a few options swim dingy St away on a cargo ship flap our arms really really hard or buy airline tickets and fly them we chose airline tickets because wiping your arms is very tiring so we all loaded off on a few different planes and began the very long arduous journey to LAX all 10 of us Martin that's me Tristan Sydney Kai Arlo Tim Sheamus Simon Harrison and Nathan well that's the whole cast let's get to LA on the flight over Sydney went uni mode and spent literally the entire Flight playing Blackjack Tristan found a watch in the airport worth nearly $100,000 and the face Ken Sheamus got some early morning wakey wakey beers Nathan sent this rather silly text to the group chat tell him you saw Sheamus put a in his bag at the exact moment Shamus gave his phone to airport staff resulting in Sheamus getting grilled by security for about 20 minutes and I got a great view of all the places we would be going on this trip the desert the lake the mountains and sunny Los Angeles so the first group arrived and went to collect the rental car on foot with their bags on a walk that looks like this for an hour when there's a free shuttle well done jents once they did get the car they took it back to the Airbnb unloaded their stuff and came back to the airport to get me situation update the traffic got worse so far all was going to plan but this was when I received a harrowing message Mt we rote off the rental for 4 hours in and it was already so [ __ ] over we lost Sheamus bro what happened to Sheamus Sydney has no reception but he is so fun king sorry he is so fun king sorry so um what actually happened to Sheamus well nothing yep that's right I got prank with that complete [ __ ] catastrophe averted we continued back to the house but on the way I received a text from my agent hello Mart would you like to come to a cool party oh I don't know man I mean I always land with all my friend there's free drinks one quick DET to the party's entrance later which was in skidrow yes that skid R the graffiti looks cool though and I had arrived this party touted some featured guests like this random guy and this random guy and sapnap oh and uh the kid looy was also performing so that was cool anyway I loaded myself up on free drinks took a few hot images listened to the child Larry go and that was that back to the house here they are boys [ __ ] aliens back at the house I realized we had picked well lots of beds lots of space and a chill as [ __ ] balcony so it was about 10: p.m. we could go to bed or we could take those scooters right there to a [Music] nightclub well that was pretty good let's go to bed day two we woke up jumped on the balcony and had a chill yeah there were still some people who hadn't yet arrived so once we were done stuffing our face with breakfast guy noodle we set off back to LAX this is where we also got our second rental car another identical Toyota Sienna one of these bad boys legally speaking holds seven people but we have 10 so we were like [ __ ] it let's get two two cars are always better than one hey get off the [ __ ] road [ __ ] lunch Denny's I had a lot of good things to say about Denny's last year but this year we branched out a bit and tried some of the more different items on the menu this was a terrible mistake Kai ordered a deep fried steak Alo got this sandwich with about 18,000 layers of ham in it and the table just generally looked unsettlingly Orange well that was disappointing see tier now last night was pretty fun but that little Montage we did might have oversold things a bit just a bit tonight however was Friday night and Friday nights in La tend to go pretty hard but before going out we'd need a solid powerful invigorating hyp rotation and for said hype rotation we need supplies so we bought the essentials some 40 oz bottles of beer which are huge for Loco which is also huge and rhinoceros boner pills yeah we didn't buy those anyway it was time to Hype the [ __ ] up Blackjack but drinking whenever someone won theyd pour a bit of drink in this cup [ __ ] Brown and if someone hit Blackjack they'd have to drink it what what about the dealer you might say well we thought about that too if two people hit Blackjack the dealer drinks done it's a that's never happening that's never happening that's one in 252 odds it's 1 in 252 million can you guess what happened next ready for the double black check ready [Music] for what the there is such [ __ ] to the top to the top that's it on the cards and my jacket my on the Valour is this velvet all right let's go cheese boys [ __ ] I'm H I'm happy as long as he carry me home later it's over the [ __ ] up meanwhile K have been steadily polishing off this drink but what was this drink well take 140 o of beer drink half of it and fill it back to the top with four Loco gentlemen behold the sidewalk Slammer and by now Kai had finished it and with that don't feel [ __ ] let's go to the [Music] club oh [ __ ] [Music] day three we woke up a gutural experience who the [ __ ] this uh who the [ __ ] is that well dear viewer that's smelvin our silly friend we met last night so um what actually happened last night then well shortly after arriving we met smelvin got a few drinks in us and then poy started absolutely fighting for his life against the sidewalk Slammer he lost and they got sent home we moved on to the next place where Sydney witnessed several domestic incid once hey you didn't hear you did not hear I witnessed smelvin to form an absolute blunder with a woman and Tristan well he can take it from here look at her H H anyway that's all in the past now what was on the agenda for today we'd been enjoying our city boy nightclub busing for real for real 100 emoji never seen a c in my entire life sort of dude lifestyle but what about America's more y ass redneck sort of activity that's right we would be partaking in the cultural institution of NASCAR Bell I love n car but that wouldn't be until the evening so in the meantime out for the Poo [ __ ] stop is breakfast then picking up Nathan from the airport who was the last to arrive and going to Walmart Walmart at Walmart we gathered very important supplies like beer a bit more beer oh yeah oh yeah yeah and oh no oh oh no no no no no no no no no no [ __ ] white CS are sliders I think I might kill myself with our fridge stocked up with all the supplies a group of 10 men could ever need it was NASCAR time so back in the cars onto the highway and into the Irwindale Speedways enormous parking lot a parking lot full of giant pickup trucks and a large number of Americans who um you know like inside the complex itself they played the national anthem and everyone literally everyone stopped what they were doing put their hands on their hearts and listened which we thought was pretty odd and before we knew it it was time to watch some cars drive in circles and oh boy did they do just then damn I'm talking out from all these races I could really do with some wait what do you hear that oh my God it's the it's the gummy bear song and they're giving out gummy bears oh yeah oh yeah okay NASCAR time was over but this event wasn't just NASCAR it was also a demolition derby and fellas it was Derby [Music] time the VC media player car one anyway I guess we should go home wait a minute what the hell is that is that that's a [ __ ] rhinoceros okay surely that's the end of the event okay that's enough let's go home you know what I noticed is that like most Americans are [ __ ] obese well that was fun A here so what next well we could go home cook up dinner have an early night and be refreshed and ready to take on tomorrow or nightclub Sydney was gracious enough to be our designated sober driver but only Sydney so we only had one car gentlemen I present to you the clown car Wendy this want come in a video will it I mean maybe we breaking the wall [Music] no uh hold on a minute guys guys what what's going on guys guys where are you guys guys I think we went to the wrong place guys guys there is a very suspicious woman here please guys guys welcome to e no vcy I'm Missie and it's my job to show you the men all right what [Music] [Music] [Music] I'm coming in BO [Music] hey day four began and we woke up this was a rather unpleasant experience our breakfast today was a classic American cereal Lucky Charms and Sheamus had come up with a brilliant combination to cure his hangover sometimes artistic expression requires genius [Music] [Laughter] oh [ __ ] T beautiful get in there get in there m get a being heaping Spoonful [Music] this don't worry about it [Music] yeah that the rest of the guys had some bacon and eggs and we made sure to tip all of the bacon grease down the sink for the synnes to eat yum speaking of synnes does anyone remember in this video where I mentioned the six way all stop sign intersection in Bev Hills no why not well there's an intersection in Beverly Hills that is six ways and all stop signs which we thought was such a curious piece of traffic engineering that we collectively decided [ __ ] it Beverly Hills is pretty close let's check it out so we loaded up in the cars and drove to Beverly Hills the drive there was quite an interesting experience you see Hollywood is quite dire lots of homelessness lots of grime lots of crackheads and lots of funky smells but just a few miles down the road things had changed drastically the dirt and grime was gone the homelessness was gone the hedges were getting taller the roads were quieter and wider the cars were nicer the roads were lined with flowers and the houses were absolutely huge [ __ ] [ __ ] gentlemen we had arrived in the quiet streets of Beverly Hills 3 2 1 go how are they so much faster than us cuz I'm in the back seat trist's at Beverly Hills was like a completely different city a completely different city with very questionable traffic management case in point the intersection car accid car accident incoming of course we parked up and examined it more closely on foot this place is just weird so as you can see we are in a business meeting right now is the weather good over there yeah pretty Dave over here as well H nearby was also this nice park so we check that out too my could not tend a koi Garden someone throw a rock at it I've never seen that animal before all right well I'd say we'd seen a good amount of the rich area now back to the crackheads well I need you bad man gentlemen we were going to Santa Monica piia once again like last year it was full of curious characters preaches put your faith and trust in the Lord Jesus street performers that took so long to do their performance that we got bored and left come around and collect your for money plenty of those aformentioned crackheads and this cat backpack thing okay that's pretty cool at the end of the P we sat down and watched the [Music] sunset well that was Jill you're pretty bird so we went back to the cars and I completely forgot to visit the wall [ __ ] spot again damn speaking of wall shits I'm hungry right now Taco Bell Dude once again it turns out that Taco Bell is actually pretty good it's not even that bad that it's actually so good I like Taco Bell esta okay well let's go to bed day five we woke up feeling fine come kind of crazy that not getting shitfaced results in better sleep today was our last day in LA and we noticed something disturbing all of our phones had a severe lack of hard photos to remedy this I have scouted a location and come up with a plan the Hollywood sign but before that we need to fuel ourselves with some breakfast at Burger King this particular Burger King had a crackhead outside which is always a good sign and the food was actually pretty good Jun pretty good AER with our bodies fueled up and back in the cars on we drove to the Hollywood sign and passed this scientologist Center my favorite YouTu Martino pants he's a [ __ ] scient he's a [ __ ] Scientologist he acts diic as [ __ ] yeah ah he has Type three Dianetics and before we knew it the hard photo I'd give the Hollywood Sign Atia but you know what I think we need more hard photos and where else to get more hard photos than a museum full of cars like this one and this one and uh yeah l of cars my personal favorites were this car for Soviet leaders this particular steel ball that did nothing significant whatsoever and this thing yeah that's a car well that's a good amount of hard photos food time car Jun car Jun was pretty generic I'm going to kill myself we are currently out of privy team but also pretty good so we decided on bti Jun okay you know what I think we might just need more hard photos see these just weren't doing it for us they lacked a certain amount of drip a certain amount of drip we could acquire from these vintage stores Tristan found this and I found this daytoner jacket with our drip firmly secured we left the store and began heading back to the cars that was until we spotted a familiar face across the road yay what the [ __ ] what the [ __ ] bro let's go let's go no why you guys here and this time he was with a woman let's [ __ ] go smelvin yeah then we went to the Griffith Observatory where do we at the Griffith Observatory where do we at the at the Griffith Observatory really we at the Griffith Observatory Griffith Observatory TTI literally back home it was time for dinner and so the local Italian Simon got to work me with an army army arguing with Tim about how to cook the pasta situation there is no place to and then the sauce in the pot and then the boiling water in the pot after what the [ __ ] are you talking about otherwi we have to reboil water that does not a big that's okay we can reboil water why don't you freeze it as well so we can use boiling water later no stop stop just [ __ ] pour it down the sink what are you doing just pour it down the sink Tim just pour it down the sink look dinner was yum we got there in the end it was a bit of a struggle but it was yum now we needed more supplies supplies that we would be able to get from this very normal totally ordinary corner store that sold tasers naturally we tased Sydney I'm going to stand I'm going [ __ ] I'm going to [ __ ] it what the [ __ ] sadly only one of the bars made a proper connection so to actually get tase he had to touch the other Bob on the floor this just wouldn't do so we stepped it up a [Music] notch that sounds oh you didn't do it didn't do it you didn't do it you didn't you didn't get me [ __ ] scared of this this one hurts more this one hurts more go go go this hurts way more all right in the back in the back in the back in the back in the this is around the time we noticed a newcomer entering the building a tall intense looking dude with a big scar on his cheek we told him we just tased Sydney and he went he then began talking with the shopkeeper he bought himself a police scanner got a little tutorial on how to use it from the shopkeeper and left uh right overall that shop s tier but you know what isn't S tier the white cast sliders sitting in the freezer this was our last night after all and they probably wouldn't survive 3 plus hours of driving in the hot car tomorrow so reluctantly we opened them up defrosted them stacked them like bricks to create the true White Castle [ __ ] you're the king of the White Castle and eight these were no exaggeration the worst pieces of frozen food I have ever had the displeasure of consuming [ __ ] me that is not good and Sheamus thought so too oh why the [ __ ] would you do that why the [ __ ] would you throw that at the window it was this really made me think man Americans have it rough when it comes to food no wonder they have a reputation for looking like this F tier again anyway tomorrow we'd be traveling to the lake house so we got in bed and slept day six traveling to the Alpine Lake housee in Big Bear Lake we've been having such a good time in LA that leaving it set a cloud of melancholy over us we bid farewell to the LA house and set off for the mountains any last words last words to nor har Boulevard bye Hollywood Boulevard [Music] hcan squirrel would tastes so [ __ ] good but you have to eat like 10 at a time once we' made our way out of La the scenery got substantially prettier Lads this is beautiful but you know what this place here needs desperately a Walmart oh well look at that in Walmart we bought more food and supplies for our 10 hungry tum tums like goobers goober they got you on a job brother I [ __ ] love and uh brother back on the road we had begun ascending into the mountains and the scenery was getting pleasanter and pleasanter up here we could look down into the valley and see the vast sprawl that is La but we would have been able to see La if it wasn't for the pungent thick juicy layer of smog covering all of it wonderful I give LA Smog and F tier and what do you know get him out of the Big Bear Lake all right we've seen him now let's go to Vegas all right what were we actually doing here well I wanted to go to a lake house since it seems chill but why specifically Big Bear Lake well during the planning phase of this trip I heavily relied on Google Maps let's scour the map look around use the 3D view use street view and generally look at my computer and go H well looking over Big Bear Lake I spotted an intriguing Town nearby not Big Bear but a far smaller one to its [Music] North I thought to myself show the boys and they went and the rest is [Music] history well this was nice okay I'm bored pel gun time I give pelet gun time and S tier well that was fun time for lunch Jack in the Box just kind of so C tier okay back to the cabin all right in here we got the games room nice hey how we doing [Music] boys Martin's just chilling okay I'm bored again it's boat time go time cons consisted of driving the boat seeing the Big B Lake solar Observatory which takes photos like this seeing these helicopters for some reason and doing boat burnouts I give boat time a tier it was good okay for real this time let's go back to the C and the boys want to check out the T okay well we still had two cars so Tristan Nathan and I popped in one of them and took it back home while the boys were enjoying themselves looking at various funky stores like the Boneyard we were at home braking the [ __ ] out because of a smell gas we scrambled to do what we could we opened all the windows checked everywhere for the source of the leak we frantically tried to get a draft going but to no avail boys there was a gas leak in the house [ __ ] me dad [ __ ] is so fu guys I'm [ __ ] sorry h house blow [Music] up yeah that didn't happen house blew up well the gas leak did happen but the house didn't blow up we just open all the windows turned the stove off and it was fine and with that devilish prank completed Burgers yeah and bed day seven nothing literally fuckle we sat around the cabin drank beer would you rather have your dick hang load in your balls or your balls hang load in your dick and went to bed day eight our time at Big Bear Lake had come to an end and today we'd be plunging deeper into the American West on the way to the Grand Canyon ke hit the road we packed everything back into the cars did a final check of the house and breakfast The Crazy Chicken to me The Crazy Chicken it's just the normal chicken inside this fine establishment we ordered our food all got a wonderful new name LA and we ate shockingly it was very good we also checked their stock price for some reason it's pretty crazy let me tell you it's good and so we bestowed a on it our greatest honor esta the road to the Grand Canyon was long especially because we wanted to go through Joshua Tree National Park and have a Ganda at the Joshua Tre in total we had over 6 hours on the road ahead of us so we swallowed the burritos hole and piled back into the Cenas Joshua Tree National Park goes hard oceans of small shrubs with these huge Rocky Mountains jutting out and of course Joshua trees naturally we had to check it out and also piss group pissing session starts now fellas are pissing [ __ ] piss Central here bro on this desert road we learned many things like the car's top speed on Google is wrong the US military just be doing stuff in the desert with be all aircraft for some reason F that's so cool the desert's pretty cool and um that's a bug right there where right there just move it with a stick you [ __ ] [ __ ] uh yeah that's it before long the desert Road had given way to the Colorado River and over the other side of it Arizona just in time for lunch at Wendy's London Bridge in Arizona bloody baffled I am you're what I'm bloody losing my marbl like this man is losing his mind now to be blunt Wendy's was uh it was bad the food was dry the chips were bad the Nuggets were bad and they misspelled almost everyone's names Alo Sheamus Tristan and uh Bon who the [ __ ] is B DTI [ __ ] just bad 150 Mi of chill's [ __ ] road later we' reached our next destination W up let inside Simon found some Curious products it's called the free piece tactical kit torch players and a [ __ ] knife what do you what do you need this it's like you're you're like in the dark trying to fix something on your car and there's a [ __ ] bear attacking you while one of the cars was at Walmart making important purchases for our hungry tum tums the car I was driving made its way to Big Five Sporting Goods we were here to have a look at their Wares and their Wares did not disappoint wait a second this just Walmart and uh okay back to the road and night time night driving is Chill finally we had reached the dirt track she's a bit bumpy and before we knew it we had arrived at the Grand Canyon Shack first things first let's examine our wees you know the usual bits of food like some mints and a bit of spaghetti and uh three BB guns a Sig MCX a lever action thing and a Glock I got to say the be guns make for exceptional [Music] props [Music] y then dinner and oh no the person logged into this TV isn't subscribed to me what are we going to do you better subscribe anyway it was bedtime and bedtime would bring us to one of this House's special surprises the [Applause] [Music] stack day nine so why were we here in bum [ __ ] nowhere Arizona in the first place the answer may shock you Grand Canyon so one breakfast shoot a b gun and get into the car later we were on the road to the southern Rim this is where we discovered something truly unnerving a roundabout oh my God oh my God oh my god seriously we hadn't seen a single roundabout the entire time we'd been in America and I knew a couple of places where it would make a lot of sense you know like it would make a lot of sense we arrived in the parking lot found a squirrel he took the joke seriously pleas and walked over to the edge of the south rim it just keeps on going down really makes a man feel [ __ ] small it's pretty Grand better all right we weren't just here to look at it we were here to walk so we started [Music] walking called King's rock [Music] [Music] [Music] rock going down was fairly easy and we reached the bottom in a little over 2 hours hooray hooray and this is where I surprise the boys with a little treat instead of having to walk all the way back up we were going to hey hey hey where are you going hey hey get back here there he go there goes our ride the [ __ ] are we going to do oh man [ __ ] and so the ascent began very very the ascent no surprise was much much harder than The Descent this wasn't helped by our insistence of ascending as fast as we could chat [ __ ] again mate so up we went can't hear you I'm so [ __ ] F I'm so [ __ ] I'm still going tell me that is not [ __ ] every color you could [Music] imagine good day Mister normal day the office and an hour and 50 minutes later Tristan and I had reached the top a bit further down however were Sydney and Harrison day 145 walking through the Grand Canyon oh we are lost there is no one in sight we are almost at the ridge we are running low on water and nut bars and the squirrels are starting to look tempting once all of us had collected at the top we watched the last bit of [Applause] sunset found this Railway took few silly ones and bought ourselves some yummy Pizza I give the Grand Canyon an S tier back home we watched them important items on the TV like uh tweaker compilations do you enjoy this I love I love p and slowly drifted to sleep Nathan while outside took these very nice photos of the clear night sky and Simon of course captured some dastardly ones while we were vulnerable and with that back to the stack and [Music] sleep day 10 we arose from the stack and discovered something incredible outside can you guess what it was I bet you weren't thinking solar eclipse I'm dead serious we had literally not planned for this even a little bit but as luck would have it the Arizona Shack was directly in the eclipse's path so I looked up and even though most of the sun was obscured it still looked like the Sun but using some quick thinking and several pairs of sunglasses we created this the sun looks like the moon that's both right look at this fool oh yeah I could see it it's pretty cool it's like a tiny bit of cover yeah it's it's getting the eclipse was a partial solar eclipse meaning the moon wouldn't be fully covering the sun about 200 M away however the sun looked like this being under the eclipse was strange of course it never went completely dark but it did get pretty cold and not to mention Shadows it was odd to think that there were probably thousands of people all around us many of them having no idea this was happening above them right now passenger train during the solar eclipse what the hell what the hell there we are what the [ __ ] that is crazy [Music] and I think it's going away now then we shot the sun wait Breeze stop resisting I give the eclipse and S [Music] tier today we had absolutely nothing planned so we spent the entire day shooting the BB guns literally all day 3 2 1 nice we started with about 3,000 BBs and ended with [Music] zero s tier I love BB guns Sheamus got this nice view of the sunset we cooked some questionable looking lasagna for dinner and that was that back to the stack gents [Music] bedtime tomorrow was going to be an early one because we were going to our Final Destination Las Vegas and to the South Point 400 Nascar race next time thanks to World defense for sponsoring this video use code combat get your walking around money and uh goodbye

Channel: martincitopants

Views: 1,585,710

Keywords: martincitopants, martin, from the depths, factorio, KSP, kerbal, arma, arma 3, Battlefield 4, Tier list, Battlefield 6, just cause, minecraft, elon musk, gaming, dream

Id: 1T5ya_l4XlQ

Length: 43min 17sec (2597 seconds)

Published: Wed Feb 28 2024