The Ultimate Flash Game Tier List

[Music] hello again welcome back flash games a great relic of the 2000s today we'll be ranking them in a tier list to determine which games are truly the best and which are objectively poutier trash if you were anything like me as a kid then you probably spent a great deal of time on many different websites playing flash games i have fond memories of sites like congregate nitrome cool math games each of these had their own personal identity and a catalog of games some good some bad and some just kinda strange today we'll be playing these games and pitting them against each other to determine which game is truly the best as you may have heard adobe is ceasing support for flash player at the end of the year so i figured i would make this video before this chunk of our history is erased keep in mind this list is 100 objective fact and cannot be argued with anyway let us begin we'll start our journey with deter because as we all know low-end mediocrity is far worse than abject failure we begin our journey with a true classic blocked oars probably a good game but simply put this game it really puts into perspective just how little functional brain cells i actually have yeah sure the game is probably good but oh my god just get in the hole you gotta roll this rectangle prism guy into this hole right here he doesn't fit horizontally so you got to roll him in vertically dude just get in the [ __ ] every level gets harder and every waking minute i spend here decreases my iq by several points dtr trash don't ever talk to me again okay moving on we have bubble trouble wait bubble struggle all right shoot bubbles bubble split into two more bubbles shoot more bubbles thrilling once again i find myself utterly incapable of predicting the path of a bouncing bubble the first few levels are fairly easy but then this game also features a two-player mode designed to instill as much hatred for your fellow man as possible this game [ __ ] sucks get out of here around medium dto we have interactive buddy this game is bizarre it's the only game i know of that allows you to brutally assault ex-president george w bush this guy is our interactive buddy who we can tickle pick up sing my tune on the radio and then set him on fire throw infants at him and nuke him from of it this game appeals to the sadistic masochist buried deep inside every child's mind like any classic cia interrogation there isn't actually an end goal of course if you consider buying more powerful fun tools then there is one to get items and weapons you need money which is earned by repeatedly throwing bowling balls into the poor guy's head we can also use this money to dress our interactive buddy up as different people like republican democrat guerrilla fighter teletubby who the [ __ ] is tom the game also features different modes like uh blood and gore what the [ __ ] dtr weird cut the rope i've played this game a lot it's not great you cut a rope and feed this little dull bludger his centerlink payment wonderful it's kind of satisfying to get the thing to get all three stars but really it's boring dtr go away [Music] moving quickly onto seat here we have docklife this game plays like loan to fly but worse in almost every way they made four of these and they all play more or less the same you get your duck train him to become an elite crossfit athlete and then race him against other ducks my strategy in this game is quite simple make your duck a literal supersonic jet for the flying event and nothing else on all other events yeah sure the other ducks will gain the initial lead but your flying will be so dominant that they will still lose i'm gonna go ahead and assume this measurement here is meters which means our duck at max speed can go one kilometer per second then feed your duck the most potent anabolic steroids money can buy and have him race now watch here as our duck starts out slowly losing our initial lead to the other ducks in the race the other ducks get to the cliff first leap off and begin flying our duck comes along and leaps off the cliff and absolutely smokes these other plebs easy c tier c is for quark next up we have extreme pamloda you play as this runny away guy cool game but very simple the controls are literally three buttons just hold the right arrow and press up occasionally you start in pamplana espana running away from a bull next up you go to either holland or deutschland and run away from women stay safe king then you get two of three choices just don't choose switzerland and you'll be good seriously the ski guy does not mess around [ __ ] once you've been chased through the entire country of france in 40 seconds you arrive in sweden where you get chased by this fat guy through a bathhouse to escape the bath house you must use the surrounding fat guys and launch yourself to the upper floors after you bounce off of the swedish population you go back to spain and run back into the stadium with the ball chasing c tier simple and good up next we've got heli attack three you play as this guy who spends his days shooting down helicopters with a pistol grenades and many kooky weapons incredible occasionally helicopters drop said weapons for you to better shoot down the other helicopters with each level has a quota that you must fulfill once you destroy the local rotary wing airspace you move on to the next level the next level has stronger helicopters for you to destroy once you reach the final level you don't win you enter the endless mode which gets boring quite quickly ah yes the first commando game this game is horrendously difficult you have three lives to beat the entire game what the [ __ ] you play as a british commando from world war ii tasked with single-handedly destroying the entire german army you can shoot in exactly two directions directly forward and straight up the game also has pretty terrible input lag health backs are spread really far apart some of the platforming is just plain rude and you only get three lives oh my god hence why i wasn't able to finish the game despite playing it for a couple of hours besides the hard difficulty the game is actually pretty fun when you come across a tank i'd recommend using grenades like this nice seat here starting off with b tier we have run two a true staple of the cool math games universe in this game you play as a faceless grey blob wearing skates that runs and runs and keeps on running yeah what is it running from we don't know but can only speculate finishing each level is really quite easy the difficulty in this game is collecting these yellow dots there is one per level and they usually require some brain activation to get i'll be honest i never played this one much but it's still pretty decent bt learn to fly one the first game in the learn to fly trilogy now these games are pogba you play as this penguin who gets epic troller lolled by a wikipedia article stating that pigments are flightless birds [Music] our waddling protagonist then collects investment from someone and takes flight with the help of specially made penguin launching technology once again i have to say it this game is pog to upgrade your equipment you must gain money to gain money you need to fly for long duration at high altitude and high speed at the end of the game you get a fast glider and a big rocket and take off into the distance only to smash into a giant iceberg that was somehow out of sight permanently paralyzing our pinguino from the neck down epic series decent game b-tier next up we toss the turtle the best total cruelty simulator on the market that's disturbing you get a cannon and a slingshot and must fire this poor turtle as far as possible much like the london fly series you earn money to get upgrades these upgrades are then used to go further to earn more money and buy more upgrades now i spent around an hour and a half trying to complete this game before i realized that it never actually ends once you unlock all the best stuff there's nothing else to do and the game gets boring still fun though b-tier tanks a classic multiplayer experience get your friends and complain vigorously about the shitty game design shoot guys airstrike guys new guys hot shower guys very nice tanks btr off the rails very solid game about two sombrero wearing cacti traversing the mexican desert on a hand-powered rail car good soundtrack nice art and animations and the cacti go very good beat next up we have shopping cart hero you play as this dude who throws himself in a shopping cart repeatedly off a cliff for cloud you can earn this clout to buy jet engines afterburners and friends to throw off the cliff to get the most clout you must perform tricks in a sequence kind of like tony hawk very nice beetier skywire 2 not the most famous game out there but certainly a good one you're a cable car that needs to deliver these little tic tac dudes to the end of each level presumably on some [ __ ] morning commute every mistake you make one of the tic tacs is ejected and sent to a watery demise the music is solid the level design and art are really good the game is just good except for these purple [ __ ] they can go away b-tier finally papa's games all of them in general because they're pretty much the same game for this video i played papa's pizzeria which involves the creation and poisoning of pizzas to deliver to unsuspecting customers you take their order place god knows what that is in a specific pattern throw the pizza in the oven for a specific amount of time and then slice it up and give it to them the difficulty comes with more customers and more orders for you to get mixed up with i'm a really [ __ ] multitasker so i find this game mentally challenging hi bt good games welcome to a tier from here on we get what is known as the uyer zone for games that make you go oh yeah our first year of the video is age of war this game is a true classic and its music is what i used in the intro the game plays out on a 2d battlefield where soldiers patiently line up and wait their turn to whack each other you have a base and the enemy has a base to win you simply destroy their base the game has three types of units to choose from per age and you can level up your base to create stronger ones to cheese the game and win easily i'd recommend abusing the pause mechanic it resets all the animations of all the characters on screen meaning if you have a ranged unit he can fire at pretty stupid race would recommend aytia final ninja zero yet another oh yeah you play as this ninja guy who needs to run to an elevator in each level to win you can run jump slide and jump off of walls go invisible for sneaky stealth time fling lots of shurikens at the bad guys and also use shurikens as a grappling hook very fun and quite good a tear n you run you jump sometimes you jump off of walls sometimes you jump into mines and sometimes you misjudge how high that ledge is that's the game epic to win you have to reach this thing which opens this door and then run into said door these yellow squares increase the time you have to do each series of levels in total there's something like 500 levels which is pretty pog atia good job stick war this game plays like age of war if it was a campaign instead of a single battle you mine resources to create units and make said units go and smack the enemies dead completing levels allows you to upgrade your existing units and sometimes access entirely new ones to win you smash the enemy statue on the other end of the map the game gets progressively more difficult as more mechanics and units are introduced my pro gamer tip would be buy lots of archers and use these mage guys they can spawn these dumb little [ __ ] at a very high rate while the archers go very good at learn to fly three our penguin returns once again not to conquer atmospheric flight but to go beyond and reach the moon this game is a lot like learn to fly one but instead of sideways you go up astounding there are a few factors that determine the height of your flight the capsule you use the rockets you have access to the side boosters you attach the weight of the system and the starting explosive you use [Music] anyway yeah good game a tier ah yes a true classic bloons tower defense four this game does everything a tower defense game can do right the goal is extremely simple stop the hordes of balloons from making it to the end to do this you must place dart flinging monkeys boomerang flinging monkeys cruise missile launchers monkeys lane monkeys etc this game is great at fat cat another game from the best flash game site out there nitrome you play as two characters at the same time this little owl dude with the mouse and this big old flying with the keyboard to win you simply get the big boy to the end of each level without dying the owl can shoot this machine gun thing and the cat has a giant laser it can use like any nitram game the graphics and sound design are really good everything feels satisfying and the game is just generally kinda pog well done nitrome a tear we're done with a tier on to stir officially the big boy zone starting off astier we have happy wheels do i ever need to explain this one you play as a diverse cast of scuffed characters that go through levels there is somewhat realistic physics and each character in the game can be exploded into several small pieces the game is very open-ended with literally millions of levels available to choose from from the level browser nice there are a near infinite amount of ways your poor character can eat dirt my personal favorites would be getting repeatedly shot in the head with a crossbow harpoons and this giant combine thing ester motherlode this game is truly one of the best and well deserving of the big boy title in it you play as this mining thingy that needs to go down and collect valuable resources the game starts with our good friend mr nut us giving us a briefing on what we're supposed to be doing here like the video if you show unconditional support and admiration for mr nadas you get dropped off by this drop ship thing onto the surface of mars as a well-paid miner mr nadas informs us that things have been kind of weird around here lately so he's willing to pay a premium for miners like us to go down and dig the deeper you dig the more valuable resources you come across even things like ancient religious artifacts and martian fossils can be found you also get radio transmissions from other people presumably mining as well the deeper you go the stranger they become mining and selling ores gives you cash to spend inside three shops equipment upgrades and fuel i would highly recommend upgrading your fuel tank to a higher capacity because it runs out exceptionally quickly once you've dug down to 4000 feet things start getting pretty strange the radio communications are weirder there are lots of impenetrable rocks and lava pockets and sometimes the dirt just explodes and kills you instantly epic past 5000 feet is too dangerous to use the drill and explosives must be used to mine out dirt at six thousand feet the altimeter goes all weird and doesn't tell you how deep you've gone but you keep digging until you find the bottom once at the bottom you enter a giant cavern and who else to greet you down there but the trustworthy and admirable mr nutters his name backwards is satan hmm so naturally you hit him with the welder oh [ __ ] it's mega satan once again you hit him with them very good game ester commando the first shooter game that i properly played as a kid in it you play as the same guy from the first game except he's loaned to shoot at angles other than 90 degrees whatever the first game did wrong this game did right there are four levels each with three levels of difficulty you get nine lives to complete the game which may seem like a whole lot more than commando one but it's actually still pretty low especially considering how hard the later levels get this time our boy has been sent to the pacific theatre to destroy the entire imperial japanese army including whatever this thing is this kung fu with an o warrior dude a giant flying crab and this samurai rocket need i say more there are way more guns in the first game and you get to organize them into a loadout meaning you can carry more than one gun amazing great music great art and animations great backgrounds great game steer learn to fly too now this game is not only pog it has gone beyond and achieved major problem our brave penguin returns with one goal destroy the giant iceberg he flew into in the first game to do this pinguino has enlisted the help of this vaguely penguin-shaped dummy for use as a high-powered nuclear-armed hypersonic missile once again our penguin has collected money from a mysterious investor and is using it in his icbp program the p is for penguin to raise money we must fly for a long duration at high speed and high altitude while destroying as many natural landmarks as possible there's a snowman snow pile mountain little iceberg and finally the wall to effectively destroy the wall i would recommend attaching a nuclear warhead to our brave pinguino and firing them off into the distance epic ester best of the series amazing game stellar work incredible how do they keep doing this raft wars the premiere shooting people off rafts into shark infested water game little slim tim over here finds this big old diamond while digging around in the sand at a local beach a story is run in the newspaper which prompts a bunch of different individuals to go and try take the treasure you've got pirates vikings gangbangers your neighbors these racially ambiguous men and whatever these guys are nice naturally you repeatedly shoot tennis balls at them until they fall into the water and drown in the final level your other neighbors have tied your parents to a tree who need to be rescued you drown your remaining neighbors and rescue your parents to save the day but then sadly your parents are evil and also want the treasure so you drown them too well done everyone you know is dead but at least you got the bread estear bloons tower defense 5. remember how i said btd4 did everything right well this game does everything even more right it adds heaps of features lots of new towers multiple upgrade paths to choose per tower abilities the monkey bank etc during my recording session of this game i got a little past round 100 which plays more like a powerpoint presentation than an actual game very good this game is quite big so i really can't do it justice in this video just take my word for it it's a great game ester age of war 2 similar to the first game but better in every way you start in the caveman age and must advance to higher ages to acquire better units stronger abilities and more scuffed tactics the ages are ordered a little strangely first off we got cavemen fair enough next is spartan age okay yeah that's like 1000 bc understandable next the ancient egyptian age 4000 bc oh yeah then we jump forward 5 000 years to the medieval age which is full of fairies then we get renaissance sword man handles the sword like nobody else does rifleman will not hesitate to use his musket to teach a lesson then we go modern age infantry soldier will perform advanced combat tactics grenade soldier will blow blow up rather your mind wow and finally the future age i will now demonstrate how to beat this game on the highest difficulty first off understand that the only way to make money and xp is to kill enemies this means if we want to maximize profit we need to spend as little money as possible per each kill we get for this job we use the chicken smack out of 9 million the chicken smacker fires eggs at a very high speed at enemy combatants doing considerable damage for a relatively low cost then we wait until they're within range before spawning in our own guys using this tactic we can reliably make more money per unit than if there was no chicken smacker continue this until you get to the egyptian age where you spawn as many priests as physically possible make sure to upgrade both their damage and range once the audio starts clipping you know you're doing well from this point you most likely have a pretty strong lead and can simply spawn in range units until you win nice ester well that's it then the best and worst flash games of my childhood wait a minute what about poutier surely there's something that belongs down [Music] um so is that it can i finally leave [Music] no god is that you what no you missed a tear what you missed the teodomos oh this one here yes well uh i don't know any games that would go there sit tight [ __ ] watch this is that oh my god obama alien defense hello gents thanks for watching this horrible mess when i sat down to write this i thought damn the last video was pretty long let's do a short one that worked well i'd like to thank everyone for being patient with my incredibly lazy upload schedule next video should be a ksp one so sit tight for that i realize i haven't been streaming a lot but i'll definitely get back on that grind for next video so stay posted for that i'd also like to extend a thanks to these dudes who pressed the join button and became bean extraordinaires they're all quite pog as some of you may know the discord was permanently deleted for violating discord terms of service which i consider somewhat of an achievement i honestly haven't had much use for it so for the time being it'll stay deleted until i figure out a use case so uh don't join the discord because there is no discord have a nice day and remember to give me all your pocket money for nothing in return bye

Channel: martincitopants

Views: 420,253

Rating: 4.9192152 out of 5

Keywords: martincitopants, martin

Id: _K3dAHVhQhA

Length: 25min 25sec (1525 seconds)

Published: Fri Nov 06 2020