Your Wife Really Wants You To Get In Shape. Drew Barth

i like our apartment i like our bathrooms i have one gripe with our bathroom though and it's the way that it's set up it's configured in such a way where when you're standing in the shower and you pull back on the shower curtain that main mirror is right there and i'm not usually ready for that because normally if you're gonna be naked in front of a mirror you kind of psych yourself up a little bit right you're just like here comes the mirror he just flexed the whole time here in france hey you look pretty good today all right just brush your teeth there we go i'm putting my contact lens all right you deserve a pizza good for you all right somehow i forget every morning i get done with my shower i turn off the water put my shampoo back pull back the shower curtain i'd rather see a puma in my bathroom and my naked disappointed foggy self looking back at me also whoever it was that designed the mirror to go down to here we need to talk because i've also discovered that kind of my personal self-confidence in my body is directly correlated to wherever i wrap the towel around myself like some dude is rapping around here stop it uh i like to go like right if i could wrap it around my neck that'd be like like a cape poncho kind of thing that's that's the look i like my wife and i we did try and get into good shape for uh for our wedding i've never really not really had kind of a physical fitness goal to get towards uh my wife does like to watch a lot of soccer and and if you've ever watched soccer with a girl it is because those players are ridiculously good looking uh and in tremendous shape and it's actually kind of like a level of physical fitness that i feel like anybody can attain which i think is why it's kind of even harder to watch i don't want to just see a whole bunch of me if i actually applied myself like this i think that's part of the reason why soccer's had trouble catching on in the u.s the way it has with the rest of the world is that we like our athletes to just be genetic freaks so when we watch it we're like well i'll never be that big or that muscular so i don't even have to try awesome guys where's that cheese blizzard i was working on and you can actually even watch other sporting events with a girl and feel okay about yourself you can watch the nfl and be like sweetheart would you like it if i was you know six six two hundred and fifty pounds would you even want that no that's too big that's no that's too many muscles we couldn't fit on the couch when we watched grey's anatomy you'd scare the cat you watch the nba with a girl sweetheart would you like it if i was you know six foot eight like that guy would you want that no that's too tall it's too tall because we like to spoon and that just be like i feel like a spoon and a ladle but if you try watching soccer with a girl you're like sweetheart would you like it if i was you know six percent body fat had a faux hawk spoke italian sweetie yeah i really would i'm just saying you can do it you guys are the same height he's like six years older than you he looks great no finish your burrito i'm glad you like burritos i'm just just saying he probably doesn't get winded when we make out so [Laughter] it's a fair point that's a good point

Channel: Dry Bar Comedy

Views: 484,333

Keywords: Clean Comedy, Dry Bar Comedy, Stand Up Comedy, Worlds Largest Library of Clean Comedy, Drew Barth, Drew Barth Dry Bar Comedy, Drew Barth Comedy, Drew Barth Comedian, Dry Comedy Bar, Dry Comedy Stand Up, Clean Stand Up, Clean Stand Up Comedy, Clean Stand Up Comedy Clips, Clean Stand Up Comedy Routines, Clean Stand Up Comedy 2020, Clean Stand Up Comedy Full Show, Dry Bar Full Show, Getting in shape, working out, world cup, soccer, futbol, soccer guys, football, muscles, dbc

Id: Whm9TDOxDoI

Length: 4min 26sec (266 seconds)

Published: Wed Oct 21 2020