Woody's Coming of Age | PKA

yeah I saw you were doing something someone I went over to your subreddit to like because you're coming on I wanted to see what was new with you and your world no there was a clip of you painting a woman naked on on stream is is that what that was wait was he was the woman a canvas or was he painting on a canvas of a naked no destiny was naked okay she first of all Wow she wasn't naked she had nipple covers okay so I reject your characterization of what was happening on that stream and that's all I have for that one yeah it was what was she wearing on the bottom yeah well all you mentioned was the nipple covers I said I'm picturing this [ __ ] bush and naked woman was this nothing but 2019 if she was naked she would have a bush yeah don't judge me the way I want to I was just bringing it up because that looked like fun yeah it was anytime you can like push any object into like a boob I mean I'm all for it I guess whatever tits every Wells is clean if you're out there and you're 1617 and you're like man I really love boobs and [ __ ] I wonder if that'll change when you get older I'm 30 and I don't know I still really like boots I have the chance to touch one for a while you know if I can do it I can't wait to tell my 13 when my nephews and they turn 13 to just hammer in how lucky they have it that they can watch naked chicks getting painted on a platform their parents can't understand and therefore can't I had to steal I had to steal a Adam and Eve catalog that they accidentally delivered to my house when I was 13 and hide it in a fort in the backyard that I was pre tonight he said I was building for fun but it was just a pornography storage device you guys don't know but you can just hide the app you little [ __ ] just wasn't it just pictures of products they sell at the sex store there's no jury yeah they would throw some chicks on there to model it Taylor was talking about I know I remember I mean I'm much much much younger than you oh yeah my face yeah I didn't have access to like a computer that I could use we had one family computer and I wasn't about it was a very open area I couldn't risk beating my meat and so I was like twelve years old and I was into paintball and I found out that one specific paintball magazine had paintball girls and like every four pages was a damn near naked woman like just holding a tippmann or something and so I had that forever and I like have to like go out and my mom would like screen like like want to flip through things first and so I'd always have to like rush home check for like paintball 88 or something like that and get it back then just go beat off rule I had one of the most sex-positive house like that regular listeners know like I'd hear my parents having sex make fun of them in the morning and stuff like that our cleaning lady's not normally found all these like dirty magazines in between my mattress and my boxspring and she ratted me up to my parents and they're like yeah you can keep him that's Helena down in my house what a yeah that's rude as [ __ ] yeah well the cleaning lady was rude but my parents were down that's the that's the take away what would you make fun of them for oh I wasn't long enough no no my my mother would would say like these super complimentary things of my father's technique and then in the morning I'd be like Oh Stan I that I just like quoter and and it's like yeah Oh Stan for sure you know just that feels good I like this it wasn't like there's nothing that quote worthy but you know you string a couple of them together in a row and they're like yeah that's that's on the contrary all of this sounds quote worthy is there ever a moment where you were with a girl in your early days and she asked like wow you're really good and you're like we learned it from my dad you know for my mom learned it did you have a moment where you realize like this wasn't normal were you ever talking you know like I've sex this way you know you're doing it so wrong I'd you ever have this conversation I've always known it wasn't normal and that it's it's been like a a bit of a barrier for me to interact with normal people right like so I got I don't have the kind of like sex shame that probably everyone else was taught and it's like I would yeah yeah that's one you keep in because you know other guys aren't comfortable talking about this or that or the other thing oh oh just the thought of being a kid hearing my parents [ __ ] and it's so clear that I'm discerning there positive reinforcement to one another on techniques dude that's beyond cringe but make my stomach hurt I always had the confidence and knowledge that those two were together that like I'd never in my meal from from the day I was born till today they were their unit and in that comforting yeah I joke around but that's actually really cool I actually super respect that I think I'm psycho thing now they're hyper religious and don't like when we do make fun of the Bible and stuff hi Woody's mom she listens to the shoe back then when they were like yeah porns cool you know listen to your dad absolutely destroy me tonight would I assume they weren't like hardcore Christians that right no no they I I've taken little jabs at him like sometimes when we debate I try not to use the Long Knives but they were pro-choice at a time that a baby would have seriously altered my life and then like you know once their youngest is married and such they're pro-life my god little convenient but they did it the right way though have a ton of fun when you're young get religious when you're old and just like clean slate they're still having fun like yeah they're living their perfect life doesn't your dad say like the only reason he doesn't go to five bible school classes a week is because they only offer four yeah that's right that's yeah you even got the numbers right yes oh good lord yes but he's he's retired now he's really good at retirement GED gets off feat he doesn't run anymore he's 72 maybe but he rides his bike every day he's lost weight and he just enjoys the outdoors like that's his thing did you ever like try to get them back by being really loud with a girl in your room after a particularly raucous session of there's no guys I always you know you dad I [ __ ] up I really should have gone that direction ya know we were always stealth mode but I know this is gonna sound weird but I want you to yell out loudly Wow it's even bigger than Stan's my mom remembered into me getting a [ __ ] on vacation once we're in a big family vacation oh yeah this was like two years ago like well you know I hope that we all learned a lesson about knocking on doors even when we're on vacation I know you Ansel did she enter from like one of the activity it was full-on it was it would have been low five it was the bed was in the corner and the door was the door was about 45 degrees to the to the bed you know kind of off so she would have come in and seen not it could have been worse she could have got a ball angle she could have got an upskirt shot but she didn't she got she got mostly shaft and her know that's what made you become addicted it right dick said hey I hope you learned your lesson and establish dominance that's what teenage tailor should have done with the computer in the living room - thank you all right [ __ ] I hope you listen this is my wank Bank this is my space and I ended up getting in trouble for it because they would like I was maybe like 13 14 years old and they'd be like hey we're taking your younger me and me and your mom are taking your brother to his soccer forget game whatever the [ __ ] you want to come and we'll buy ice cream or you want to stay home alone it was always home alone mix it - I'm gonna stay home and come yeah yeah be like just like lying the whole way as I'm like walking them out like yeah I think I'm gonna like play my Pokemon game or play Legos and as soon as they go just like happy jogging okay kids kids are so bad at lying this is something out of notice of my eight-year-old eye I wish that he would just hit me or something instead of ever trying to tell a lie so the most common one I don't know in terms of children I know I don't know take a few I don't have any woody has six-year-old nephew okay okay yeah so I don't know if you've what what stages of lying red but so we have to work on bathroom specific make sure you always wash your hands when you come into the bathroom but every sometimes I'll wander by the hot oil here the toilet flush it'll come walk it out I'll say Nathan did you wash your hands you know go oh yeah dad and I'll go if I go into the bathroom and check the sink is it gonna be wet and he'll be like well no but I like to clean it up with the the towel after to make sure it's all in and I'm like Nathan do you think we should and he's like okay wait wait wait dad I'll go wash my hands again just to make sure that Jesus you remember being a kid and in his head he's like that was a close yeah every time he lies I have to think like what dumb [ __ ] did I say when I was a kid not honestly not my parents [ __ ] believed me you know like how many times do they walk in with me hunched over like this and it's like dad I'm a turning my pocket oh god I got caught putting glue like on a kid's seat I actually I thought I'd only done this once I rear emember recently I tried this twice the first one was a fail kindergarten I used a glue stick the second time we sat down and it didn't even get stuck he just stood up and it was like still goopy and sticky and it wasn't even funny like I imagined in my head but the first time I tried it I put it on there and the teacher came in and said are you putting glue on the on the chair no god I still am [ __ ] but even more so you mentioned the the family the family computer space so back back before everybody had a literal per computer that they could carry around with them some of us had one computer for the whole household and I remember my so back then computers to me still wear voodoo magic you know if you unplug the computer while it's on it is irrevocably destroyed nothing you can do will save it this is the true of every electronic device that is connected to the computer I wanted to I wanted to know because we couldn't master it in the main relays people in kitchen I thought well what if I just printed off some porn and took it upstairs with me and now I've never printed I printed like school reports and then they print real quick they just caught you so I figure I could probably paint like print like pictures whatever so I think at the time I was probably 11 I had pictures of whatever anime Goku Vegeta somebody [ __ ] somebody with a monster okay yeah so I'll just print this one and then I'll take it upstairs with me so you know I'm real crafty I make sure black and white or color Oh full-color oh nice yeah alright I push the print button on this and then real quick I alt f4 I clear the cookies of browser history and everything and I think I'm real smooth and I walk over to the printer and like a minute or two these are long minutes okay maybe one twentieth of the way they're real nervous cuz I'm just standing next to the printer and if anybody walks by and I can't unplug the printer because I don't know what's gonna happen to that alright you go on the computer and I try to find a way to cancel the print but it's dude back then printers were impossible to work you know yeah buttons I couldn't stop anything and and my parents are walking by in the bathroom I think my sister comes through the room she doesn't say anything and I'm freaking out I try to rip the the page out of the printer and it's it's growling at me it's the the feeder is making noises cousins try to like print the thing and by the end of it I've ripped maybe 20 pages out because it keeps the scrolling kind with the whole yes but everyone like fed it through the top yeah is it like slow but it's oh my god by the time my parents walked in I don't know what I looked like I must have been a disaster I told my mom was trying to print something out for a video game and only the bottom you could only see like the the bottom of like of Adele's boot and like the the dripping come but you couldn't really tell what it was it's like I guess it didn't work mom this is one of the most stressful moments do you remember the picture yesterday I actually do if you would it okay have you a gallon maybe if this gets posted on the subreddit I never looked for it okay but it was it was like a it was like a floating picture I think Vidal was being held in the air and being [ __ ] by like cell or some [ __ ] with his like massive tail said something like that if maybe this is I don't know the specific enough there might be a million of these types but if I saw it again I would absolutely remember can you draw it can you draw any kind of approximation so that the top office it would have tuned into the boobie painting stream that Taylor mansion you would know I have absolutely zero artistic talent whatsoever so no I would not be able to draw anything whatsoever man I'm glad I wasn't smart enough to have thought of that because it would have gone the exact same way I wouldn't have been ballsy enough to do coloring good for you yeah trying to think of other times you guys can just think of any other times we were [ __ ] we were kids just dumb [ __ ] we did there's so many stories all the times I gave my brother a concussion on accident because WWE you know it only happen twice and only one of the times in my actually I'm gonna say I'm blameless so the same thing would have happened if you weren't there actually that's not true one of those times you didn't get concussed the time that I tied him up and put him in a wagon on top of the hill and pushed him down it and he ran into a tree my happenstance wasn't on purpose he was meant to just go see how fast he would go and he hit his head he didn't even get concussed it was only the time that we were playing WWE and I was practicing the finishing moves in our concrete unfinished basement that I smacked his head and he couldn't remember that we had spaghetti 20 minutes before I agree that doesn't sound like your fault at all no it wasn't like I didn't mean to that doesn't make it less your fault no it does it does rules that's it they should need to know that when you're playing WWE 1998 and one of the special moves of the coolest character is grab him around the waist and slam them down that I'm gonna do it on concrete and I'm gonna remember the sickening crack of his head on that concrete for the rest of my life I mean who could have predicted that that would hurt him know something it was like 70 felt like a 12 year old yeah when you're when you're a kid you seem pretty indestructible right yeah like you do you remember having that like cogent not cogent but that thought in your head I remember like watching movies and [ __ ] where someone gets shot and I'm like yeah if I got shot that wouldn't happen to me I'd be fine oh if I got hit by a car probably the car that would be damaged like it when I was like five and six years old the idea of me dying wasn't even real you know like you think I'm indestructible everyone else is just so it's like solipsistic in a way where like everybody's a little actor in my movie and then you get a little older and you're like oh [ __ ] like that kid in my class you got hit by a car and definitely didn't damage the car at all yes maybe I'm remembering this in a faulty way but I feel like as I turned 31 and in a month or two it felt like when you were a kid you could like sprain your ankle and then like by 5:00 p.m. you're good to go again get like maybe you heard it baby you're out for a day or two nowadays if I'd get on the car wrong it feels like a it's gonna hurt for a week I don't know it gets worse try to go on a trampoline in your 30s climb on I'm like why does my head already [ __ ] pound I should I sprained my back brushing my teeth now I have to think while I'm [ __ ] so I don't accidentally pull some over Taylor I didn't know that went away that you like every time every time there's like every 911 comes around I'm sitting to going out totally would [ __ ] stop I have elaborate fantasies of how I would have stopped it does that like oh yeah you remove that Mark Wahlberg interview yes where they were like talking to him about 911 and he's like yeah I think I would have stopped it he wouldn't if now differently if I was on that plane Oh shame him actually now that is a pretty cool thing if that in the subsequent 18 year war like man the [ __ ] wish that would have happened to me I'd be all over the news the local library books and I do that a little bit yeah but but now the plain thing I think I wouldn't have done anything because my entire life up you know first 30 years of it if a plane gets hijacked what happens is you don't get to land in your favorite airport you have to wear the same underwear for three days that's the consequence of getting your plane hijacked it ruins half of a vacation and that's it that's all that ever happened for like my whole life according to my foggy memory they didn't crash the plane into buildings or the ground or anything they just made you sit there and held you hostage until they changed their mind so I think yeah but I wouldn't known something was up Woody I wouldn't know well yeah you would have them just feel it in the air their eyes some lady's jugular and you're like I think I could disarm him in time that would have been if I were on that flight because I would have been like [ __ ] 10 or 11 or whatever all I would have done is sit there with my Pokemon game and been like this is gay and that's what I've been thinking about just how you know all the parents were being dumb and panicking like I guess I wouldn't stop how old were you Ted yeah 2001 yes I'd be 10 yeah expected a 10 year old coming at him no they wouldn't have and by the look at me I was much older if you guys don't know what a Taylor's claim to fame is hitting puberty a late 9 hit me like a train just like I we're not an exaggeration could you have grown your current beard at 12 no I couldn't have done that both I definitely not at 12 I remember though because there's this one [ __ ] weird at our school that got ripped on for everything he was just [ __ ] strange and weird and not even like the kind where it's like Oh at least he's friendly no he wasn't friendly he was a prick and [ __ ] and he started you guys are bullying him all the time Chino I was actually had him over to play Halo more than one time because I felt so bad for him I never made I cuz he was the kid that I always thought even later in the high school and [ __ ] like I am always gonna be nice to this kid and I continued to be nice to him because if I'm gonna be the guy in the parking lot if he ever shows up with a gun he'll go Taylor go home and so I always I knew I'd be safe from that I was always cool to that kid but but he was weird and he started shaving in eighth grade which was like 'wait earlier than most people and it was like the you know those thick hairs that like you could step on and give yourself a splinter like sometimes I get those little cloudier beard and he got those and he did not take care of it and people ripped on him all the time being like ah you have facial hair it looks terrible you look awful you looked you look gross fatty but had nothing to do with it but they call him that too and I remember being so afraid of being like that guy that I had my dad teach me to shave and like all of eighth grade I meticulously would shave to make sure nobody could tell that I was growing a bunch of facial hair and then next year everybody decided it was cool to start growing beards because one of the popular kids started growing a beard and then I just let it go and it didn't look great for a while but man I hope you're doing well out there guy last time I spoke to you you helped me at I forgot about this last time I saw that guy was like 5 years ago I was at a mall in st. Louis and I went I was in the food court and I went up to the chick-fil-a and I was waiting and it was a set of like three cashiers this trick plays are always busy and as soon as I get in line one of them leaves and this [ __ ] comes around the corner and he recognizes me and I get up to the front he's like Taylor how's it going man I'm like a pretty good the kriti good he's like that's good too here really not going well with me my mom died can I get a number one that was the most uncomfortable I've ever been at a chick-fil-a most the time I feel very welcome knowing I'm safe so say hey KP from homicide

Channel: PKA Clips

Views: 27,922

Rating: 4.8901734 out of 5

Keywords: pka, pka clips, pka highlights, painkiller already, painkiller already clips, painkiller already podcast, painkiller already highlights, clips, highlights, FPS Russia, Woodysgamertag, Taylor Murkah, Dr Chiz, pka podcast, podcast, Woody, Coming of Age, Internet, Magazine, Streaming, Dick Masterson, Destiny, Destiny Stream, Destiny Streamer, Advice

Id: AYr70TwLkfA

Length: 22min 32sec (1352 seconds)

Published: Thu Jan 02 2020